July 17, 2022 • 47 mins
Maller is in the studio with Danny G. and they're having some podcast fun with the mail bag for your Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, eight days
a week. It is yet again another a dish of
the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio
(00:44):
back in the podcast studio for a wonderful mailbag, very
exciting Danny Gee. So many questions, so little time. Yes,
I have a question for you. When does football season started?
I'm glad you asked. Now, what is your definition of
(01:08):
football season starting? Is that? Would that be training camp?
Because training camp is less than two weeks away? Yes.
The problem The problem with that, though, is and here's
the issue. Okay, uh, it's training camp and and it
(01:29):
sounds good, but the only thing that really happens in
training camp is garbage quarterback competitions like Baker Mayfield versus
Sam Donald and players getting hurt and that's about it.
So But but we will see some football like the
Hall of Fame game, and you do have local beat
(01:52):
writers who always have those juicy stories like player acts
and player why are the standout players so far? And
they get the fan base all juice stuff. They're gonna
have a breakout season. Yeah. I do like when they
do the completion percentage of the quarterback in a scrimmage
(02:13):
that that somehow is an indication of how player X
is going to do. And uh, they don't stop ring
to you. I guarantee you. There's gonna be a story
about how Trey Lance through four interceptions during a scrimmage.
Oh yeah, well we saw that with Mahomes. Remember Mahomes.
(02:34):
There was a story that this guy's are not ready?
What did they do? They made a mistake. He's the
he's a bum. Uh. But then we'll also see some
nonsense stories about like Baker Mayfield, the Panthers can't believe
the Browns traded them. They're so lucky to get them,
you know, on all that nonsense, and then everyone will
be like, well, you know, we all need to laugh. Yeah,
(02:57):
and then we can laugh at those I think all
that is on though, So to me, that does Mark
the return of football. All right, listen, I'm all about it.
I'm talking about football. This week I did monologues about
things that were loosely related to football, because I gotta
get a little football fixed. I also did monologues this
past week on the Toronto Blue Jays, the New Orleans Pelicans,
(03:19):
and the Indiana Pacers, and people rip me. It's people
have been programmed now, They've been indoctrinated, Danny in sports
media to only want to hear content about Lebron James,
the Lakers, the Dallas Cowboys, and a few other random
headliners in sports. And that's it. It's it's like you
(03:41):
talk about anything other than those five or six topics
and people are like you, what are you doing over there?
So I've determined it's it's politics, is what it is.
Political bulls exactly. That's this the industrial complex of sports.
It's it's like they don't have room for for anyways. Now,
I'm not gonna make it a habit, Danny of talking
(04:02):
about the Indiana Pacers, the New Orleans Pelicans with the
Toronto Blue Jays, But if there's something compelling going on,
rare and appropriate, I'm looking forward to an Oakland A's monologue. No, no,
I got, I got Oklahoma City Thunder. Yeah yeah, I've
got that outlook on that. We'll do a deep dive also.
I think the week after this, if everything goes right,
(04:26):
we will do Kansas City Royals depth chart, wrong monologue,
that'll be uh, that'll be good. Alright, let's get Ohio
All in here. And you know what this song means.
Strike up the band. It's Ohio All. He's gonna be
(04:55):
in the Talent show, the Mallarpalooza later this week end.
Away we go. You've got mail, yes, we do. We
have mail from actual listeners to the show. If you
would like to send a question in in a future
mail bag, you can do that care of Real Fifth
Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail
dot com, or you can simply post on the show
(05:16):
Facebook page. Every Tuesday, we post a link, sometimes on Monday,
but usually on Tuesday. It'll be tagged to the very
top of the page and you can send your question
in there. On the Facebook page, which is Ben mallor show.
First one from Mike in Fullerton. He says, be honest,
do you national radio guys think that you're better than
the local radio folks, that's from mine. Sure. Sure, Although
(05:42):
you can make more money in local radio. You can
make more money in local radio because of endorsement deals
that we don't have access to in network radio. It's
like the n I L. Yeah, yeah, you can get
car deals, get a least car, at least you used
to be able to get these things. You can get
(06:04):
your home furnish, all these these different things we do
not have access to. But we're on five radio stations,
so the actual network has almost six hundred affiliates now
in total. So yeah, it doesn't make you better, but
it makes you, you know, worldwide. Yeah, you're like Pitbull
(06:24):
instead of the local Latin artist. Yeah, it's like doing
karaoke at a local place or doing a song that
gets played all over Fireball. Let's see. You know, I'll
never do that again. Come back, it's side from now.
I'll call Chris and Marre Cocoa, Iowa writes and he says,
have you seen the recent pictures from the James web telescope?
(06:49):
Does this help support your belief in aliens? The sheer
number of planets out there is mind boggling. I'll hang
up and listen. Thanks Chris in Iowa merericocaowiss ps Go
Raiders to Danny g I did not need the James
Webb telescope. I have my own functioning eyeballs, thank god,
(07:11):
and I have at night out of the city of
it its looked up in the heavens. And I have
known since I was a little snot nosed punk that
there are probably millions of planets just like Earth, and
there are probably millions of planets with people just like
(07:31):
us and other creatures and whatnot all over the cosmos,
and it is fascinating. And I don't know that the
human species will ever get to a point where they'll
be able to actually go out in deep space. And
I don't want to go full George Nori and Art
Bell Coast to coast back in the day. But yeah,
(07:55):
I don't know about you, Dan. It was cool to
see the photos, but I didn't need the photos too
to tell me what I already felt when I looked
up to the sky. Yeah, those were some amazing pictures.
I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it on this
podcast before, but my aunt Gene, she worked for NASA
for forty two years in the Bay Area. Did she
(08:17):
tell you any inside there about creatures out there in space.
She didn't do that, but and it was a cool
story because NASA went into her high school and did
a contest where a couple of winners got to go
be interns paid interns at NASA, and she was one
of the winners. So not only was she an intern
(08:38):
at NASA, she got paid, she worked her way up
the ranks, and she was by far been the richest
relative I had because NASA paid her a ship ton
of money. It's a high ranking. Yeah, I'm not exactly
sure what her title was or what she did that
was classified information. But whenever I had a book report,
(08:59):
she would get me the most amazing pictures from their
satellites in their you know, pictures of planets and things
like that, and I would slap that into the plastic
sheets we used to use for book reports. How nice.
That was the only leg up I had as a child.
If I had a book report, too, I always made
(09:19):
it about Mercury or Saturn or Mars, and then I
had the photos to back it up. I thought those
photos were amazing back then. They look like garbage compared
to these photos that are out right now. And yeah,
if you didn't believe in um e T before this,
you definitely do now. Yes, a casual friend that I
(09:40):
have swears that what's been going on the last couple
of years is the how should I say it? I
don't know if orthodoxy the global elites are preparing, they're conditioning,
indoctrinating societies to prepare for some big announcement of contact
with some foreign entities outside of our our world. I
(10:10):
don't know that I buy that, although they have released
things that they never would have released back in the day,
everything was hush hush and all that, like the the
the the admission by the US government that there's all
kinds of legitimate UFOs, that things, there's technolog either technology
that some other country has or it's alien technology that
(10:32):
can do things that we have yet to invent. It's
and it was during the COVID lockdown that they admitted that.
And that's how you know COVID was really funked up,
because most Americans just ignored the story about the UFOs
being real. Yeah, they were just trying to get toilet
paper or bottled water hands. It's the little things in life.
(10:57):
It's little things in life. Right next up, Oh, here's
an email from Helen and Stu Mallard Town, USA, Alex
was alive. Well here's the update, Benjamin. Thank you for
your concern. Our apologies for the lapse and email updates
almost two weeks now. Stew and I were wait for it,
(11:19):
here we go diagnosed with COVID. I'm a doctor, first
time for either one of us, speaking of the nine team, Yeah,
says Helen says. We were both double vaccinated and have
a booster and uh yeah, well that's the that's the rub, Helen, right.
(11:41):
I mean you think when I hear vaccination, I think
you're not going to get the illness, but clearly that's
not the case. Here you get the illness still, as
she also says, thankfully no major complications, even though we
are still not feeling one hundred percent but better as
(12:03):
an active couple. Helen says it's hard to put in
the words what we feel with our now zapped energy levels,
physically unsettled, a bit scary as we both test still
test positive and remain quarantined here in Florida. And she
also says Stu I wanted to point out that COVID
is not the reason he almost died on vacation, and
(12:26):
she said, please give us another week to continue consuming
garlic hell and we'll finish our vacation. Update then, as
always listening Helen and Stu in Mallard Town, USA. Well
feel better, Helen and Stu. I would like to welcome
you to the COVID club. Had had COVID back at
(12:46):
the end of and kept working at a laryngitis and
all that stuff. And Danny, of you had the COVID,
have you got that? I'm aware of. Okay, So Danny's
not part of our club. I've dodged the bullet. You
make a great point about the vaccination word, though, because
(13:07):
there's the flu shot and you still get the flu. Maybe, right,
he hasn't prevent you from getting it exactly. Well, so
why didn't they just call this the shot, the COVID
nineteen shot. That's what it should have been called, right, Yeah,
I agree with you. It's false advertising, and I don't
like false advertising. If you call something a vaccine, it's
(13:27):
not a vaccine cuts down on the illness, and I
hope it does, and and maybe that's the case, but
it's not a vaccine. A vaccine means you're you're you know,
basically immune to it, right, as long as people are
not in the hospital. Right, Well, yeah, you know, I
get that sick and all that, but you also it's
just annoying when you're like, is this is this something
(13:49):
that's totally necessary? Or did someone at a high level
horn swoggle some politicians and as saying we've got to
give everyone this and you've got to pay for it.
And you know what I'm saying, you hope that's not
the case. But it's the kind of thing that will
come out years later. I'm just gonna sing, we'll all
find out together in fifteen years. Yeah. And then the
(14:13):
people now that are saying, how could you even bring
that up, they'll they'll all be quiet at that point,
and it'll be I'll be quiet. Let's see here. Fred
in Spring Texas says, hey, guys, how long do you
guys plan to continue this workpace? Seven eight days a week. So,
I guess Fred wants to know when we're gonna stop
doing the podcast, And there is no end date. There's
(14:37):
no expiration date on the podcast. Just to give you
the heads up on that. We keep going as long
as we can keep going. And as I point out, Danny,
I still have plenty of bills to pay. So as
long as that's the case, I will continue to work
as long as I am able physically to work. Guy
will not be stopped and wait until Monday Night Football
(14:58):
comes back, because as we are going to do the
fifth hour podcast of the Monday Night football game, So
that'll be our ninth day of the week. Yeah, that's
gonna be Danny in a hybrid version by himself. Uh.
And people have asked if we can do a video
(15:18):
feed of this podcast. Oh god, you wouldn't want that. No, no,
you would not. You would not want that. And I
don't think we can. I mean we could, we both.
There are ways we can do it, but yeah, I
don't know that anyone really wants that. I mean, most
of these mornings on the weekend, we're blurry eyed, so
(15:41):
I'm not sure we actually want to like shave and
get ready for the camera here. Well, yeah, we got
into radio for a reason. We got in the radio
so we don't have to have a camera. When I
was a kid, I was told Pj's and b j's
that's a real thing. A radio guy told me. Was like, hey, man,
radio has been good to me. I get to wear
(16:04):
pj's and get pj's. Yeah, well half that's true for me.
You can figure out which half. But uh, yeah, that's
it's a lot of sandals and shorts. That's a lot
of what it is, sandals and shorts and talking to
inebriated people. Oh that isn't from all over North America.
That's been my experience, all right. Next up mrr calling
(16:26):
on Kiss FM. Ben Uh. If only I had had
the chance, Only I had the chance. Next up is
Adrian in the Mile High Cities has been and Danny G.
My family and I recently returned home from our cruise
summer vacation. How great is that. Here's a travel walks
we have Adrian into Mile I Cities travelogue. He says,
(16:48):
for your dining and dancing pleasure, we thank you. It's
a great tribute to me. Uh. And Adrian says, we
started off flying from Denver to the Land of the Cheaters,
Bang Bang, Houston exist. When we arrived, the hotel we
stayed in was located right next door to a Houston
sports bar, and Adrian says, I had my son take
(17:10):
my picture thumbs down with the cheating a STROS logo
in the background. And there it is. I'm looking at
the photo. Right, here's got the Ben Mallor show shirt.
You talk about being a daredevil going in Houston with
a Ben Mallor show shirt. Wow, says Adrian on the travelog.
The next day, we took an hour long bus ride
(17:31):
to the Galveston Cruise Ship. Board boarded the ship, headed
straight for the deck and deck ten the little I
think I'm saying that, right, L I d o. How
do you think that's pronounce little? Right? You got crickets.
The deck is the deck where all the delicious food
(17:54):
is located. Adrian passes on. It is the deck where
the hogshead for the trough, Guy Fieri's burger joint, a
pizza parlor, a Mexican restaurant, and the traditional buffet located
on this day. And this is all free? Is that
how this works on these cruise ships. It's all because
it's all inclusive. Yeah, well it's not free. Yeah you
(18:16):
still are paying for it. But well you're paying. But
I'm saying, once you pay for your cruise, you can
eat as much as you. Right, you just pay the
one time big sum and then all of that is yours. Okay,
I get I'd get pretty fat if I let myself go.
One afternoon for lunch, I ordered the pastrami and tomato
sandwich on a panini. It was delicious. The sandwich. It
(18:39):
reminded me of the Big Ben. You're talking about your
favorite sandwich shop there in l A next to that
shiphole park. Yeah, talking about Langers. Langers is great. You've
been to Langers. You've been Langers. I've been to Langers.
That's wonderful. It's only upen until four o'clock. You don't
want to be there at four oh one. You're gonna
get out of before four o'clock and give yourself a
(19:00):
half hour to find a parking space. Yes, and if
you want any kind of fake I d If you
want a passport, a driver's license, uh, you name it,
you can get all of that in MacArthur Park. If
you want any pharmaceuticals, you can get that, you name it.
It's all available to you. It's Hell's playground, the Devil's
(19:21):
the Devil's work right there. Anyway, Adrian continues. He says
there were cheating a strow fans everywhere on the ship,
stros caps, T shirts and jerseys in the air everywhere.
It made me sick, being from Denver. My dad and
I were outnumbered big time. Our friend Adrian said, but
(19:44):
we really wanted to ask them, how are you guys
a stro fans? When they cheated to win the twenty
seventeen World Series. We heard banging, whistling and buzzers when
we were near these pathetic fans on the ship. They
should be known as the Houston, asked Risks f al twove.
He promises more of this content. Danny travel Log Cruise
(20:07):
Ship travel Log Part two, Same time, same bat station,
next week. He says. The abs are Stanley Cup Champs.
Let's go Broncos cool, Broncos last. He's excited about that. Well,
thank you, ah. It sounds like you had a great time,
and I am jealous. Fat me from back in the
(20:30):
past is jealous that you had a burger joint, You
had a Mexican place and all these different restaurants right
there and it was all paid for. There's a lot
of meat. That is a lot of meat, all right.
Next up, Daniel from Acquisher Stadium. He says he wants
to be known as Daniel from Acquasher. Isn't that the
name of the new Steeler Stadium? Yeah. Uh. He has
(20:53):
a bunch of rapid fire questions. He says, who the
hell decided salt and pepper deserve their own shakers? That's
a good question. Yeah, salt was a huge deal though,
and salt came around. It's We've talked about this in
the past on other shows. But there should be a
standardized ranch container like that on every table in America.
(21:18):
The condiment industry, that the big condum. It's salt pepper.
That Tabasco sauce is in a lot of restaurants from
the island in Louisiana. Yeah, everybody knows it should beat
Cholula sauce. But it's not even a real island in Louisiana.
Is just like a city, but they call it an island.
That's confusing. There's lu lu lu lula ketchup heinz ketchup.
(21:43):
Those bottles always grossed me out though, because of all
the hands and germs that have been on them. Oh
the glass bottles, yeah, yeah, were are still on them
and they're not exactly cleaned. No. The mustard, what kind
of mustard do they put that? There's different versions of mustard,
but you don't get mayonnaise. There's not like Thousand Island
(22:04):
dressing on the table. It's catchup mustard salt pepper. People
decided that's it. That great poupon kind of mustard is nasty. Yeah,
I don't care for that. I like honey mustard. Every
once in a while I'll mix together the mustard and
the ketchup on the hot dog. Oh yeah, that's that's
(22:24):
the way to go right there. And then how about
that Thousand Island dressing mix that people make. That's not bad.
That's not bad you uh? And Daniel from actresser Stadium
also says, are people who refer to themselves as content
creators the lowest form of human life? Yes? Absolutely, it's
as how pretentious can you be? How obnoxious can one be? Content?
(22:51):
My man? Yeah? Like I like to goof around and
I will mock occasionally on the radio show and the podcast.
I will mock that world at little bit and feed
the content machine and things like that. But it's pretty
much just goofing on the world that we all live in,
having fun with that. Daniel also said, how attractive can
(23:13):
a girl be before she starts saying she has haters?
How about? So this is another one. Danny depends on
the personality of the lady. Right. There's some women that
are pretty mediocre in the looks department, but they they
have tremendous self confidence and they believe that people are
(23:36):
out to get The most annoying people on the entire
Internet are the ones who say they're going to do
a photo shoot and it's literally somebody taking their picture
with an iPhone and they do not look anything like
any sort of model we've ever seen, because they shouldn't
be a model and they are doing model poses with
(23:58):
an iPhone. I've seen that before, and it's it's humorous.
It's like I almost feel like I'm being punked, like
it's a joke. Yeah, we're not a model, and there's
not a professional photographer there. Stop it. Yeah, I'm right
there with you. I see this all the time. We're
going to the beach a ton and I go there
pretty much every weekend. At least one day I spent
(24:19):
on the beach and I cannot tell you how many uh,
young ladies I have seen with their girlfriends and one
of them, normally the less attractive one, is holding the
camera on the phone. The other ones in a bikini,
jumping up and down in the water and and that's
a photo shoot where the white women at and that
(24:41):
will of course pop up as a what's the term
to any thirst trap? Isn't that the term, right man? Yeah?
I think that's the I'm on my way to a
photo shoot again. This is the second photo shoot this week. Yeah. Well,
I've got a message to you. Okay, get out of
here with that nonsense. Okay, what's wrong? Because everyone's winning
their finger at you. They're laughing, absolutely laughing. Have a
(25:05):
photo shooting schedule at I hop Yeah exactly. Well, especially
where we live. In the fakest of fake places in
in l A, where they actually rent out fake private
planes you can sit in for an hour or half
an hour and do photos pretending that your jet setting
traveling to the south of France for a get together.
(25:28):
Nobody gives a yeah exactly. Daniel also says from Acquasuer Stadium,
A lot of questions say, is our Instagram models just
softcore porn stars? The answer is yes, Daniel says, which
brings me to the real question, why do we call
them Instagram models and not softcore porn stars? So Daniel,
(25:51):
I call them booty models. Instagram booty models that's my turn.
But they are dabbling in the softcore. But the real
old porn stars today are the uh, well, what's the
term the the Is it friends only or something like
that or I know what you're talking about. Thank god,
(26:13):
we don't know the answer to this. Yeah, no, I
don't know that. But that's where they're doing the porn. Now,
ye move that fans only only only fans I think
is some Yeah. So they get paid directly there to
share all of their goodies. Man, you ain't gonna pay
a monthly subscription to look at somebody by. Yeah. It's like, hey,
(26:36):
I need some steak. Let me go to the market
and look through the glass at the steak. I'm gonna
pay the grocery store X amount of dollars per month
to stare at their meat through the glass. Yeah no, no,
I'm keeping my hard earn money. I'm right there with you, man,
don't be rude. And plus, if if so much free
(26:56):
stuff available, if you know what I'm saying, right, you know,
to pay for that. Okay, Well what are you doing alright?
H next up, let's see this. I did not get
the name on this person. They did not leave their name.
I always say, post your name and city if you
want credit. Uh. This message says, what are Danny G's
plans this fault? Will he be back in the school system?
(27:18):
Is he more of an administrator floater or does he
actually have an assigned classroom? I sure wish he was
teaching when I was a kid. That's a nice thing
from this person. I didn't get their name, but Danny,
I think you already said you have a teaching gig
lined up. Yes, we'll see what happens. I'm waiting for
things to shake out. And there's been emails back and
(27:39):
forth right now with the district, so trying to figure
out what's going to happen when the new school year begins.
But you will have a job, You're just not sure
exactly what you're your job will be? All right? Do
you know what school you're gonna be at or are
they gonna bump you from different school of the different school?
And it sounds like I'm gonna have to float at
the beginning of the school year. That's gonna suck. You know.
(28:02):
The One good thing though, all these schools where I'm
at are close by each other. But if you're not
like a familiar face you kind of get weird looks
like you're the stranger, you're the outsider. They kind of
give you the stairs like what was this weird dude?
And I don't I get that anyways, because I look
like one of the parents trying to drop something off
at the campus. I get that a lot from staff
(28:25):
at the school that don't know me. They're like, are
you here to drop something off for one of the kids? Like, no,
I work here. You all that's wonderful? All right, balls fan,
Jimmy writes in he is next. It is the the
mail bag. We don't need to play the mail SoundBite
every time. He says, either one of you ever been
(28:48):
out righting and took the wrong turn and immediately locked
the doors, of course, but not writing out in the country,
Like you make the long turn in the city and
you end up on the wrong side of the tracks
and you're like, whoa wait a minute, he and Brian's motherfucker,
(29:10):
where the heck did we end up? And just just
start like, how can I get to a highway? How
can I get away from here? And you're like, oh, no,
is this gonna happen? And it all over, So that's happened.
No again, I look like one of the ones that
might rob your cars according to the scared people. So okay, alright,
(29:34):
so you do not lock your doors. You're like, hey, no,
no one's gonna mess with me. I mean, no one
really messes with me because they think that you know,
I lived there. Yeah, I got you all right, Next
up on the mail bag. Let's see who is next
on this You've got mail. Richard says, I just saw
an unveiling of player uniforms that will be worn in
(29:57):
next week's All Star Game is coming week sauce. Our
game question is do you like the n L and
AL teams wearing matching uniforms or do you miss the
old days when each player would wear their own team uniform. Well, Richard, listen,
I grew up with everyone wearing their own uniform. I
think it's one of the coolest things about the Baseball
All Star Game, and they have absolutely routed it. It's
(30:17):
it's another demerit for Rob Manford, who is a bozo
as the commissioner and doesn't give an f about the fans.
It's all about how much money can we squeeze out?
And Baseball made a merchandising deal with Nike, and as
I was told and as I understand it from someone
(30:40):
who claimed to have inside information that and Nike's like, okay,
we'll do it. And they had the same problem. Now
get the same problem in baseball that they had in
the NFL, where the teams like their uniforms and don't
want to change their uniforms. So Nike is like, well,
we sell more merchandise if we keep changing the uniforms.
And the team in the NFL didn't want to change.
(31:01):
They really get the Rams to change, Jacksonville, they were
like a few teams that would change, but the Green
Bay Packers, the Raiders are not changing their uniform and
so that became a problem in the NFL. But in
baseball it's the same thing. Like teams like their uniforms.
So what they did is a compromise is they added
that City Series uniform, which is like an extra uniform. Connect. Yeah,
(31:26):
that's what it's called City Connect. So they did that.
Then in addition to that, they agreed to sell all
Star uniforms, which it's just a money grab. Nike's trying
to get their money back because they're paying baseball a
lot of money. You know what's up with that Padres
City Connect Jersey. By the way, what is I haven't
seen that one? What is that? It looks like South Beach? Hey,
(31:51):
oh does it crazy rainbow colors? Are you sure that
wasn't their Pride uniforms? Are you sure that was the
he Connect? It does look like a Pride uniform though, yeah.
And I have not seen that, so but that's it.
And and Richard, No, I love the All Star Game
and it's great. And as far as All Star games,
(32:12):
I think the uniform just everyone wear their own uniforms
is awesome, especially back in like the seventies and eighties, Danny,
when guys were in the blue uniforms, you know, the
different wild colors, uh, and and and and and whatnot.
That was that was pretty neat. And I got to
go to a Pro Bowl one time, which was really
cool in Hawaii back when it was in Hawaii, and
I I got to go to Loha Stadium, which no
(32:35):
longer exists. And I remember being at the practice and
seeing all the different helmets. That was like really cool
to see all the helmets. So they had like they
had a red jersey or a blue jersey or whatever,
and then they would just have this the regular helmet
and that was that was I like that, that's the
way it should be for all all star in Pro
(32:57):
Bowl games. Yeah, I agree. Jason Rocky Mount Virginia rights
and he says, when I eat a good burrito, I
gobble it down using my hands, no fork involved. What
are your styles of digging into that big ass burrito? Well,
great question, Jason. Many people are dying to know on
a Sunday in a mail bag, how do you eat
(33:18):
a burrito? M h And I didn't even know there
are people that eat a burrito with a with a fork.
I guess you what, You lay the thing down and
cut it with a knife. Is that how that would work?
I guess. I mean, if it's one of those huge,
fat ass eight pound burritos, I would cut that in half.
(33:38):
But if you're talking just a wonderful bean in cheese
with no onion burrito from Taco Bell, you're just eating
out and maybe dipping it into some hot sauce. Right, Yeah,
so he must be going like massive, massive burrito. But
like I've used a knife on the the chimney chongda right,
(34:01):
that's the fried burrito Chana. Yeah, yeah, the deep fried burrito,
the that you go with that like, yeah, I get
that cutting that with a knife, but a regular burrito. No,
I'm not. I'm not going down that road. Who wants
to eat too many changas all year? Not me? Yeah?
(34:22):
Now you all right? Next up is our buddy Pierre.
Not in Springfield, not near the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame,
not where Muffett McGraw is. Since Ferg Dog is sick
of your Muffett McGraw reference, it's not my fault that
Ferg Dog is a party pooper and Muffett McGraw Danny
(34:47):
g is a fun name to say. Come on, did
you say pooper? Well that too, that's actually a Russian
coach I think in the Hall of Fame. Now I
could change it up. I could go to the Pro
Bouncyball Hall of Fame website and find some other names
that are amusing. I could do that. What are some
of your favorite old school NBA players names? Oh? Well,
(35:10):
the World Be Free? Uh? The original before ron our Test,
there was Purvish Short. That's a good one. Otis Bird's
song remember him? Now you know? Uh? Rory Sparrow, Orlando Woolridge, Yes,
(35:32):
the Big Oh that was that was good. Uh. Oh wait, blob,
I think I said that right from the Dallas Mavericks debt.
Lift Shrimp just a fun name. Classic Bowl minute Ball
was wonderful. Uh. The ugliest player I ever saw in
(35:54):
the NBA among the centers was Paul mckenski. He was
He was right ugly, Uh than Kevin McHale. Yeah, like
Paul mcknski at the end of his career with the
Milwaukee Bucks. I was still I was just starting my
radio stringing career and I was out watching him play.
(36:15):
The Bucks were playing the Clippers, and I said, you know,
I'm I'm ugly, but this guy makes me look like, uh,
you know, a tend I should stand next to this guy,
and uh, now I think I look at this age,
I looked just like Paul mckski looked back then. So
it's a come full circle for me. Uh. That's other
all funny nemes. We were talking about UFOs earlier on
(36:37):
the podcast. Um Sam Casell Oh yeah, Sam and a
great Clipper. Great Sam Cassell was part of the first
generation where the Clippers became relevant. Him and Elton Brand
and that and that run there that that was cool
(36:58):
and then the Clippers allowed them to win a championship
with the Celtics. They were kind to them, and they
let him. They let him go to the Celtics and
win a title and all that all right. Next up
on the mailback Greg from Parts Unknown, right, so, and
he says, if you or Danny G had to cook
a meal to impress your lady, what would you prepare? So?
(37:24):
I have been cooking a lot in recent years, and
unfortunately for the misses, I only really know how to
cook stuff I like theat so I only learned like
I can make a mean cheese steak. I can make burgers,
cheese burgers on the grittle, although there's one dish that
(37:46):
I make that she likes. I'm able to take a chicken.
I chop it up really thin. I can make fajitas,
chicken and rice, like basic stuff like that. I'm pretty
good at nothing too exotic, although I did make rip
off recipes. During COVID, we made a bunch of rip
off recipes for the Popeye's chicken sandwich, some chicken finger places,
(38:07):
and that was pretty cool. What about you, Danny, or
you think something in the air fryer for you, possibly
mac and cheese, possibly now you know, for my tinder rony,
my cooking is not done in the kitchen. Hello. She
tells me that as long as I keep cooking in
the bedroom. Mom, all good with her? The microphone throttler, Oh,
(38:29):
look at that. Look at Danny. That's a don't pull
a muscle on that one, Danny, do not pull a muscle.
As long as I don't hurt my hip flex or
I'll be good for a while without having to step
into the kitchen. Yeah, stay in y'all late, Stay in
y'all late, all right. Senior Joel rights and he says,
why is youth wasted on the young? Great question? Why
(38:53):
why is wisdom wasted on the old? You can work
both ways, right, The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Yeah. Yeah.
And the great thing about life, And I've seen this
as I've grown up, and I've mentioned this from time
to time. It just keeps repeating itself. Like the technology
(39:15):
changes and the bells and whistles and all that change,
But people make the same mistakes over and over again.
You almost wonder if this is like a simulation, Danny.
I don't want to go full mushrooms on you, but
you wonder if this is all just some kind of
weird simulation, and we just keep coming back over and
over again in different roles. And maybe next time I'll
come back and I'll be a crow, and I'll be
(39:37):
a crow, and then you'll be a goldfish, and then
the following time, I'll be a dolphin and uh, and
then you'll be a snail. I want to come back
as bo Jackson so I could run Bosworth over in
the end zone. I want to come back as Babe,
Ruth Bambino. That's what I want to be. Bigger than life.
I want to suck down some mut liquor and eat
(39:59):
some dogs. Yeah exactly, Yeah, that's what you want. Man,
Come on living the life there. And I heard Babe
was quite the ladies man back in his day too.
Babe made the rounds. All those ladies had annoying voices,
just like the radio and TV announcers back then. Oh
it's it's kind of like the guy that calls us
from Massachusetts. Andre. Yeah, yeah, he sounds he's got that
(40:22):
old school sports old time they call it old timey. Yeah,
that's it. He's old timey. That that should be his nickname,
old Timey. Andre. Well, he liked that or not. Yeah,
that's exactly what he sounds like. It's so weird because
he's a normal sports radio caller and as you know,
we're not used to that. In the Overnight Danny and
(40:45):
when the Twilight happens, the weirdos pop up, not weirdos,
but the more unique characters, the people with bohemian tendencies
come out TV. But that wasn't the case. It was
the reels right at the theater. So you'd go to
the movie theater, Hello, sports fans. Yeah, before the movie,
they would show you sports, the world news on a reel,
(41:08):
and it was one of the announcers saying, in the
world of sports, Well, it's like that old baseball movie
The Natural, right they play on the Natural second. Yes,
it's a great movie. Man, that was solid. I wanted
that when I was a kid. I wanted I wanted
to get the Night's Jersey and the hat Roy Hobbs Baby.
(41:28):
If you could show your kids just two movies from
the nineteen eighties, I would say, Back to the Future
and The Natural? What about Ghostbusters? That you know the Ghostbusters?
You know Ghostbusters? You're not a ghost there? But not
it's not in the stratosphere of the natural and back
to the future. Is it true, Danny g that the
(41:51):
last great era of raunchy movies was the nineteen eighties.
Oh yeah, one thousand percent, and it's spilled over into
the early nineties just a little bit. There's a little
on the fringes. But society was starting to get more
buttoned up in the nine which is odd because the
(42:14):
president in the nineties got unbuttoned, but society got more
buttoned up starting in the ninety nineties. But you look
at some of these these films, uh that that were
made in the like the seventies and the eighties and
the early eighties in particular. Oh man, yeah, there are
storylines and plots and jokes that you could not touch
(42:36):
with a ten foot poll nowadays. Oh and the studios
would never make them. Yeah, yeah, you know that now.
A lot of Hollywood is you gotta have everyone included,
you know, and all that the old movies like nah,
we do what we want and all that stuff. Do
you imagine if they tried making three men in a
baby right now? Oh? Oh yeah, come on, sexist exist
(43:01):
what's what's the you can get pregnant to? What's the
nexus I know, I know, what's the Western What was
the oh the three Amigos? No, no, no, was blazing saddles?
That was it? Right? Wasn't it blazing saddles? Where the
white women at? Yeah? That there you go, Where the
white women at? All? Right? That's that's not so all right.
(43:24):
We gotta get out of here, Danny g It's a
Sunday and all Star break in Baseball the White Women.
A programming note for you podcast listeners, I will not
be on the radio show tonight on Sunday Night. I
am you boot. I've got prior engagement. It's my my
(43:44):
wedding anniversary today, so I will be doing that thank
you on that shocking, shocking as that is. But you
will be in the radio. Do Joe Hard at work? Is?
I will? I'll be in for the very fun Covino
and Rich and then that leads into what's normally the
warm up for you. But it will still be your
(44:05):
show on the air. And who do you know who's
going in for you? I do not know. It will
likely be Mr Well. It won't be Mr Plank because
he's on with you, yeah Plank or with me leading
into your first show of the week. So is it
gonna be Brian No. I'm gonna go either Brian No
(44:25):
or Bernie or Fratto. Okay, yeah, one of those two.
We'll find out together. I have no idea. I just
I talked to management and I said, hey, I gotta
I gotta take a day, how dare you? And then
this week, don't forget. I'll be back though tomorrow on
the radio. And then we've got the Mallard Palooza, which
it's just gonna be amazing. This might be the Marconi Dan,
(44:46):
This could be the one that wins the Marconi Rob.
I hope that Real Talk makes a comeback after all
these years of being gone, and he doesn't duet with Eddie.
That was that was fun. I had my battles with
Real Talk, but those duets were outstanding. They were so good.
And it was always funny too when Real Talk would
(45:08):
called up and he just did like a serious call,
and you knew at some point he would say the
most offensive thing he could possibly say to immediately get
dumped and end the phone call. He'd go on for
a while, he'd do a normal call, and then all
of a sudden and you sleep with with you know,
there still will never be a moment like the one
(45:30):
when we first all heard Eddie Garcia sing, because we
had no idea that he was very much Frank Sinatra, like, oh,
it was great, it was a wonderful night. And it's
I guess same somewhere on the podcast. I don't know.
There's only a limited amount of podcast avail. I mean
somebody said on Spotify, I think it goes back to
(45:53):
thank God. I have the clip of when he first sang,
but it's short. It's like a twenty second clip, so
I don't have the whole song saved. I wish I did,
Like you're dying laughing. Coop's laugh in the back is
pretty amazing and we just all lose it on the
(46:16):
way we were gentlemen. I'm scattered picture the smiles we left.
We had no idea he was gonna be taken serious. Yeah,
(46:37):
Eddie's an interesting character the Mermaid. There's some things that
we think Eddie should do that he doesn't do, and
there's other things that we don't think Eddie will do,
and he will do very well. Said, he's an odd all.
We gotta get out of here, thank you, Danny. Catch
him today and I'll be back tomorrow. The talent show
(46:58):
is on Wednesday into Thursday. Say and we'll talk to
you then. Asta pasta, I gotta murder, Gotta go,
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, eight days
a week. It is yet again another a dish of
the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio
(00:44):
back in the podcast studio for a wonderful mailbag, very
exciting Danny Gee. So many questions, so little time. Yes,
I have a question for you. When does football season started?
I'm glad you asked. Now, what is your definition of
(01:08):
football season starting? Is that? Would that be training camp?
Because training camp is less than two weeks away? Yes.
The problem The problem with that, though, is and here's
the issue. Okay, uh, it's training camp and and it
(01:29):
sounds good, but the only thing that really happens in
training camp is garbage quarterback competitions like Baker Mayfield versus
Sam Donald and players getting hurt and that's about it.
So But but we will see some football like the
Hall of Fame game, and you do have local beat
(01:52):
writers who always have those juicy stories like player acts
and player why are the standout players so far? And
they get the fan base all juice stuff. They're gonna
have a breakout season. Yeah. I do like when they
do the completion percentage of the quarterback in a scrimmage
(02:13):
that that somehow is an indication of how player X
is going to do. And uh, they don't stop ring
to you. I guarantee you. There's gonna be a story
about how Trey Lance through four interceptions during a scrimmage.
Oh yeah, well we saw that with Mahomes. Remember Mahomes.
(02:34):
There was a story that this guy's are not ready?
What did they do? They made a mistake. He's the
he's a bum. Uh. But then we'll also see some
nonsense stories about like Baker Mayfield, the Panthers can't believe
the Browns traded them. They're so lucky to get them,
you know, on all that nonsense, and then everyone will
be like, well, you know, we all need to laugh. Yeah,
(02:57):
and then we can laugh at those I think all
that is on though, So to me, that does Mark
the return of football. All right, listen, I'm all about it.
I'm talking about football. This week I did monologues about
things that were loosely related to football, because I gotta
get a little football fixed. I also did monologues this
past week on the Toronto Blue Jays, the New Orleans Pelicans,
(03:19):
and the Indiana Pacers, and people rip me. It's people
have been programmed now, They've been indoctrinated, Danny in sports
media to only want to hear content about Lebron James,
the Lakers, the Dallas Cowboys, and a few other random
headliners in sports. And that's it. It's it's like you
(03:41):
talk about anything other than those five or six topics
and people are like you, what are you doing over there?
So I've determined it's it's politics, is what it is.
Political bulls exactly. That's this the industrial complex of sports.
It's it's like they don't have room for for anyways. Now,
I'm not gonna make it a habit, Danny of talking
(04:02):
about the Indiana Pacers, the New Orleans Pelicans with the
Toronto Blue Jays, But if there's something compelling going on,
rare and appropriate, I'm looking forward to an Oakland A's monologue. No, no,
I got, I got Oklahoma City Thunder. Yeah yeah, I've
got that outlook on that. We'll do a deep dive also.
I think the week after this, if everything goes right,
(04:26):
we will do Kansas City Royals depth chart, wrong monologue,
that'll be uh, that'll be good. Alright, let's get Ohio
All in here. And you know what this song means.
Strike up the band. It's Ohio All. He's gonna be
(04:55):
in the Talent show, the Mallarpalooza later this week end.
Away we go. You've got mail, yes, we do. We
have mail from actual listeners to the show. If you
would like to send a question in in a future
mail bag, you can do that care of Real Fifth
Hour at gmail dot com. Real fifth Hour at gmail
dot com, or you can simply post on the show
(05:16):
Facebook page. Every Tuesday, we post a link, sometimes on Monday,
but usually on Tuesday. It'll be tagged to the very
top of the page and you can send your question
in there. On the Facebook page, which is Ben mallor show.
First one from Mike in Fullerton. He says, be honest,
do you national radio guys think that you're better than
the local radio folks, that's from mine. Sure. Sure, Although
(05:42):
you can make more money in local radio. You can
make more money in local radio because of endorsement deals
that we don't have access to in network radio. It's
like the n I L. Yeah, yeah, you can get
car deals, get a least car, at least you used
to be able to get these things. You can get
(06:04):
your home furnish, all these these different things we do
not have access to. But we're on five radio stations,
so the actual network has almost six hundred affiliates now
in total. So yeah, it doesn't make you better, but
it makes you, you know, worldwide. Yeah, you're like Pitbull
(06:24):
instead of the local Latin artist. Yeah, it's like doing
karaoke at a local place or doing a song that
gets played all over Fireball. Let's see. You know, I'll
never do that again. Come back, it's side from now.
I'll call Chris and Marre Cocoa, Iowa writes and he says,
have you seen the recent pictures from the James web telescope?
(06:49):
Does this help support your belief in aliens? The sheer
number of planets out there is mind boggling. I'll hang
up and listen. Thanks Chris in Iowa merericocaowiss ps Go
Raiders to Danny g I did not need the James
Webb telescope. I have my own functioning eyeballs, thank god,
(07:11):
and I have at night out of the city of
it its looked up in the heavens. And I have
known since I was a little snot nosed punk that
there are probably millions of planets just like Earth, and
there are probably millions of planets with people just like
(07:31):
us and other creatures and whatnot all over the cosmos,
and it is fascinating. And I don't know that the
human species will ever get to a point where they'll
be able to actually go out in deep space. And
I don't want to go full George Nori and Art
Bell Coast to coast back in the day. But yeah,
(07:55):
I don't know about you, Dan. It was cool to
see the photos, but I didn't need the photos too
to tell me what I already felt when I looked
up to the sky. Yeah, those were some amazing pictures.
I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned it on this
podcast before, but my aunt Gene, she worked for NASA
for forty two years in the Bay Area. Did she
(08:17):
tell you any inside there about creatures out there in space.
She didn't do that, but and it was a cool
story because NASA went into her high school and did
a contest where a couple of winners got to go
be interns paid interns at NASA, and she was one
of the winners. So not only was she an intern
(08:38):
at NASA, she got paid, she worked her way up
the ranks, and she was by far been the richest
relative I had because NASA paid her a ship ton
of money. It's a high ranking. Yeah, I'm not exactly
sure what her title was or what she did that
was classified information. But whenever I had a book report,
(08:59):
she would get me the most amazing pictures from their
satellites in their you know, pictures of planets and things
like that, and I would slap that into the plastic
sheets we used to use for book reports. How nice.
That was the only leg up I had as a child.
If I had a book report, too, I always made
(09:19):
it about Mercury or Saturn or Mars, and then I
had the photos to back it up. I thought those
photos were amazing back then. They look like garbage compared
to these photos that are out right now. And yeah,
if you didn't believe in um e T before this,
you definitely do now. Yes, a casual friend that I
(09:40):
have swears that what's been going on the last couple
of years is the how should I say it? I
don't know if orthodoxy the global elites are preparing, they're conditioning,
indoctrinating societies to prepare for some big announcement of contact
with some foreign entities outside of our our world. I
(10:10):
don't know that I buy that, although they have released
things that they never would have released back in the day,
everything was hush hush and all that, like the the
the the admission by the US government that there's all
kinds of legitimate UFOs, that things, there's technolog either technology
that some other country has or it's alien technology that
(10:32):
can do things that we have yet to invent. It's
and it was during the COVID lockdown that they admitted that.
And that's how you know COVID was really funked up,
because most Americans just ignored the story about the UFOs
being real. Yeah, they were just trying to get toilet
paper or bottled water hands. It's the little things in life.
(10:57):
It's little things in life. Right next up, Oh, here's
an email from Helen and Stu Mallard Town, USA, Alex
was alive. Well here's the update, Benjamin. Thank you for
your concern. Our apologies for the lapse and email updates
almost two weeks now. Stew and I were wait for it,
(11:19):
here we go diagnosed with COVID. I'm a doctor, first
time for either one of us, speaking of the nine team, Yeah,
says Helen says. We were both double vaccinated and have
a booster and uh yeah, well that's the that's the rub, Helen, right.
(11:41):
I mean you think when I hear vaccination, I think
you're not going to get the illness, but clearly that's
not the case. Here you get the illness still, as
she also says, thankfully no major complications, even though we
are still not feeling one hundred percent but better as
(12:03):
an active couple. Helen says it's hard to put in
the words what we feel with our now zapped energy levels,
physically unsettled, a bit scary as we both test still
test positive and remain quarantined here in Florida. And she
also says Stu I wanted to point out that COVID
is not the reason he almost died on vacation, and
(12:26):
she said, please give us another week to continue consuming
garlic hell and we'll finish our vacation. Update then, as
always listening Helen and Stu in Mallard Town, USA. Well
feel better, Helen and Stu. I would like to welcome
you to the COVID club. Had had COVID back at
(12:46):
the end of and kept working at a laryngitis and
all that stuff. And Danny, of you had the COVID,
have you got that? I'm aware of. Okay, So Danny's
not part of our club. I've dodged the bullet. You
make a great point about the vaccination word, though, because
(13:07):
there's the flu shot and you still get the flu. Maybe, right,
he hasn't prevent you from getting it exactly. Well, so
why didn't they just call this the shot, the COVID
nineteen shot. That's what it should have been called, right, Yeah,
I agree with you. It's false advertising, and I don't
like false advertising. If you call something a vaccine, it's
(13:27):
not a vaccine cuts down on the illness, and I
hope it does, and and maybe that's the case, but
it's not a vaccine. A vaccine means you're you're you know,
basically immune to it, right, as long as people are
not in the hospital. Right, Well, yeah, you know, I
get that sick and all that, but you also it's
just annoying when you're like, is this is this something
(13:49):
that's totally necessary? Or did someone at a high level
horn swoggle some politicians and as saying we've got to
give everyone this and you've got to pay for it.
And you know what I'm saying, you hope that's not
the case. But it's the kind of thing that will
come out years later. I'm just gonna sing, we'll all
find out together in fifteen years. Yeah. And then the
(14:13):
people now that are saying, how could you even bring
that up, they'll they'll all be quiet at that point,
and it'll be I'll be quiet. Let's see here. Fred
in Spring Texas says, hey, guys, how long do you
guys plan to continue this workpace? Seven eight days a week. So,
I guess Fred wants to know when we're gonna stop
doing the podcast, And there is no end date. There's
(14:37):
no expiration date on the podcast. Just to give you
the heads up on that. We keep going as long
as we can keep going. And as I point out, Danny,
I still have plenty of bills to pay. So as
long as that's the case, I will continue to work
as long as I am able physically to work. Guy
will not be stopped and wait until Monday Night Football
(14:58):
comes back, because as we are going to do the
fifth hour podcast of the Monday Night football game, So
that'll be our ninth day of the week. Yeah, that's
gonna be Danny in a hybrid version by himself. Uh.
And people have asked if we can do a video
(15:18):
feed of this podcast. Oh god, you wouldn't want that. No, no,
you would not. You would not want that. And I
don't think we can. I mean we could, we both.
There are ways we can do it, but yeah, I
don't know that anyone really wants that. I mean, most
of these mornings on the weekend, we're blurry eyed, so
(15:41):
I'm not sure we actually want to like shave and
get ready for the camera here. Well, yeah, we got
into radio for a reason. We got in the radio
so we don't have to have a camera. When I
was a kid, I was told Pj's and b j's
that's a real thing. A radio guy told me. Was like, hey, man,
radio has been good to me. I get to wear
(16:04):
pj's and get pj's. Yeah, well half that's true for me.
You can figure out which half. But uh, yeah, that's
it's a lot of sandals and shorts. That's a lot
of what it is, sandals and shorts and talking to
inebriated people. Oh that isn't from all over North America.
That's been my experience, all right. Next up mrr calling
(16:26):
on Kiss FM. Ben Uh. If only I had had
the chance, Only I had the chance. Next up is
Adrian in the Mile High Cities has been and Danny G.
My family and I recently returned home from our cruise
summer vacation. How great is that. Here's a travel walks
we have Adrian into Mile I Cities travelogue. He says,
(16:48):
for your dining and dancing pleasure, we thank you. It's
a great tribute to me. Uh. And Adrian says, we
started off flying from Denver to the Land of the Cheaters,
Bang Bang, Houston exist. When we arrived, the hotel we
stayed in was located right next door to a Houston
sports bar, and Adrian says, I had my son take
(17:10):
my picture thumbs down with the cheating a STROS logo
in the background. And there it is. I'm looking at
the photo. Right, here's got the Ben Mallor show shirt.
You talk about being a daredevil going in Houston with
a Ben Mallor show shirt. Wow, says Adrian on the travelog.
The next day, we took an hour long bus ride
(17:31):
to the Galveston Cruise Ship. Board boarded the ship, headed
straight for the deck and deck ten the little I
think I'm saying that, right, L I d o. How
do you think that's pronounce little? Right? You got crickets.
The deck is the deck where all the delicious food
(17:54):
is located. Adrian passes on. It is the deck where
the hogshead for the trough, Guy Fieri's burger joint, a
pizza parlor, a Mexican restaurant, and the traditional buffet located
on this day. And this is all free? Is that
how this works on these cruise ships. It's all because
it's all inclusive. Yeah, well it's not free. Yeah you
(18:16):
still are paying for it. But well you're paying. But
I'm saying, once you pay for your cruise, you can
eat as much as you. Right, you just pay the
one time big sum and then all of that is yours. Okay,
I get I'd get pretty fat if I let myself go.
One afternoon for lunch, I ordered the pastrami and tomato
sandwich on a panini. It was delicious. The sandwich. It
(18:39):
reminded me of the Big Ben. You're talking about your
favorite sandwich shop there in l A next to that
shiphole park. Yeah, talking about Langers. Langers is great. You've
been to Langers. You've been Langers. I've been to Langers.
That's wonderful. It's only upen until four o'clock. You don't
want to be there at four oh one. You're gonna
get out of before four o'clock and give yourself a
(19:00):
half hour to find a parking space. Yes, and if
you want any kind of fake I d If you
want a passport, a driver's license, uh, you name it,
you can get all of that in MacArthur Park. If
you want any pharmaceuticals, you can get that, you name it.
It's all available to you. It's Hell's playground, the Devil's
(19:21):
the Devil's work right there. Anyway, Adrian continues. He says
there were cheating a strow fans everywhere on the ship,
stros caps, T shirts and jerseys in the air everywhere.
It made me sick, being from Denver. My dad and
I were outnumbered big time. Our friend Adrian said, but
(19:44):
we really wanted to ask them, how are you guys
a stro fans? When they cheated to win the twenty
seventeen World Series. We heard banging, whistling and buzzers when
we were near these pathetic fans on the ship. They
should be known as the Houston, asked Risks f al twove.
He promises more of this content. Danny travel Log Cruise
(20:07):
Ship travel Log Part two, Same time, same bat station,
next week. He says. The abs are Stanley Cup Champs.
Let's go Broncos cool, Broncos last. He's excited about that. Well,
thank you, ah. It sounds like you had a great time,
and I am jealous. Fat me from back in the
(20:30):
past is jealous that you had a burger joint, You
had a Mexican place and all these different restaurants right
there and it was all paid for. There's a lot
of meat. That is a lot of meat, all right.
Next up, Daniel from Acquisher Stadium. He says he wants
to be known as Daniel from Acquasher. Isn't that the
name of the new Steeler Stadium? Yeah. Uh. He has
(20:53):
a bunch of rapid fire questions. He says, who the
hell decided salt and pepper deserve their own shakers? That's
a good question. Yeah, salt was a huge deal though,
and salt came around. It's We've talked about this in
the past on other shows. But there should be a
standardized ranch container like that on every table in America.
(21:18):
The condiment industry, that the big condum. It's salt pepper.
That Tabasco sauce is in a lot of restaurants from
the island in Louisiana. Yeah, everybody knows it should beat
Cholula sauce. But it's not even a real island in Louisiana.
Is just like a city, but they call it an island.
That's confusing. There's lu lu lu lula ketchup heinz ketchup.
(21:43):
Those bottles always grossed me out though, because of all
the hands and germs that have been on them. Oh
the glass bottles, yeah, yeah, were are still on them
and they're not exactly cleaned. No. The mustard, what kind
of mustard do they put that? There's different versions of mustard,
but you don't get mayonnaise. There's not like Thousand Island
(22:04):
dressing on the table. It's catchup mustard salt pepper. People
decided that's it. That great poupon kind of mustard is nasty. Yeah,
I don't care for that. I like honey mustard. Every
once in a while I'll mix together the mustard and
the ketchup on the hot dog. Oh yeah, that's that's
(22:24):
the way to go right there. And then how about
that Thousand Island dressing mix that people make. That's not bad.
That's not bad you uh? And Daniel from actresser Stadium
also says, are people who refer to themselves as content
creators the lowest form of human life? Yes? Absolutely, it's
as how pretentious can you be? How obnoxious can one be? Content?
(22:51):
My man? Yeah? Like I like to goof around and
I will mock occasionally on the radio show and the podcast.
I will mock that world at little bit and feed
the content machine and things like that. But it's pretty
much just goofing on the world that we all live in,
having fun with that. Daniel also said, how attractive can
(23:13):
a girl be before she starts saying she has haters?
How about? So this is another one. Danny depends on
the personality of the lady. Right. There's some women that
are pretty mediocre in the looks department, but they they
have tremendous self confidence and they believe that people are
(23:36):
out to get The most annoying people on the entire
Internet are the ones who say they're going to do
a photo shoot and it's literally somebody taking their picture
with an iPhone and they do not look anything like
any sort of model we've ever seen, because they shouldn't
be a model and they are doing model poses with
(23:58):
an iPhone. I've seen that before, and it's it's humorous.
It's like I almost feel like I'm being punked, like
it's a joke. Yeah, we're not a model, and there's
not a professional photographer there. Stop it. Yeah, I'm right
there with you. I see this all the time. We're
going to the beach a ton and I go there
pretty much every weekend. At least one day I spent
(24:19):
on the beach and I cannot tell you how many uh,
young ladies I have seen with their girlfriends and one
of them, normally the less attractive one, is holding the
camera on the phone. The other ones in a bikini,
jumping up and down in the water and and that's
a photo shoot where the white women at and that
(24:41):
will of course pop up as a what's the term
to any thirst trap? Isn't that the term, right man? Yeah?
I think that's the I'm on my way to a
photo shoot again. This is the second photo shoot this week. Yeah. Well,
I've got a message to you. Okay, get out of
here with that nonsense. Okay, what's wrong? Because everyone's winning
their finger at you. They're laughing, absolutely laughing. Have a
(25:05):
photo shooting schedule at I hop Yeah exactly. Well, especially
where we live. In the fakest of fake places in
in l A, where they actually rent out fake private
planes you can sit in for an hour or half
an hour and do photos pretending that your jet setting
traveling to the south of France for a get together.
(25:28):
Nobody gives a yeah exactly. Daniel also says from Acquasuer Stadium,
A lot of questions say, is our Instagram models just
softcore porn stars? The answer is yes, Daniel says, which
brings me to the real question, why do we call
them Instagram models and not softcore porn stars? So Daniel,
(25:51):
I call them booty models. Instagram booty models that's my turn.
But they are dabbling in the softcore. But the real
old porn stars today are the uh, well, what's the
term the the Is it friends only or something like
that or I know what you're talking about. Thank god,
(26:13):
we don't know the answer to this. Yeah, no, I
don't know that. But that's where they're doing the porn. Now,
ye move that fans only only only fans I think
is some Yeah. So they get paid directly there to
share all of their goodies. Man, you ain't gonna pay
a monthly subscription to look at somebody by. Yeah. It's like, hey,
(26:36):
I need some steak. Let me go to the market
and look through the glass at the steak. I'm gonna
pay the grocery store X amount of dollars per month
to stare at their meat through the glass. Yeah no, no,
I'm keeping my hard earn money. I'm right there with you, man,
don't be rude. And plus, if if so much free
(26:56):
stuff available, if you know what I'm saying, right, you know,
to pay for that. Okay, Well what are you doing alright?
H next up, let's see this. I did not get
the name on this person. They did not leave their name.
I always say, post your name and city if you
want credit. Uh. This message says, what are Danny G's
plans this fault? Will he be back in the school system?
(27:18):
Is he more of an administrator floater or does he
actually have an assigned classroom? I sure wish he was
teaching when I was a kid. That's a nice thing
from this person. I didn't get their name, but Danny,
I think you already said you have a teaching gig
lined up. Yes, we'll see what happens. I'm waiting for
things to shake out. And there's been emails back and
(27:39):
forth right now with the district, so trying to figure
out what's going to happen when the new school year begins.
But you will have a job, You're just not sure
exactly what you're your job will be? All right? Do
you know what school you're gonna be at or are
they gonna bump you from different school of the different school?
And it sounds like I'm gonna have to float at
the beginning of the school year. That's gonna suck. You know.
(28:02):
The One good thing though, all these schools where I'm
at are close by each other. But if you're not
like a familiar face you kind of get weird looks
like you're the stranger, you're the outsider. They kind of
give you the stairs like what was this weird dude?
And I don't I get that anyways, because I look
like one of the parents trying to drop something off
at the campus. I get that a lot from staff
(28:25):
at the school that don't know me. They're like, are
you here to drop something off for one of the kids? Like, no,
I work here. You all that's wonderful? All right, balls fan,
Jimmy writes in he is next. It is the the
mail bag. We don't need to play the mail SoundBite
every time. He says, either one of you ever been
(28:48):
out righting and took the wrong turn and immediately locked
the doors, of course, but not writing out in the country,
Like you make the long turn in the city and
you end up on the wrong side of the tracks
and you're like, whoa wait a minute, he and Brian's motherfucker,
(29:10):
where the heck did we end up? And just just
start like, how can I get to a highway? How
can I get away from here? And you're like, oh, no,
is this gonna happen? And it all over, So that's happened.
No again, I look like one of the ones that
might rob your cars according to the scared people. So okay, alright,
(29:34):
so you do not lock your doors. You're like, hey, no,
no one's gonna mess with me. I mean, no one
really messes with me because they think that you know,
I lived there. Yeah, I got you all right, Next
up on the mail bag. Let's see who is next
on this You've got mail. Richard says, I just saw
an unveiling of player uniforms that will be worn in
(29:57):
next week's All Star Game is coming week sauce. Our
game question is do you like the n L and
AL teams wearing matching uniforms or do you miss the
old days when each player would wear their own team uniform. Well, Richard, listen,
I grew up with everyone wearing their own uniform. I
think it's one of the coolest things about the Baseball
All Star Game, and they have absolutely routed it. It's
(30:17):
it's another demerit for Rob Manford, who is a bozo
as the commissioner and doesn't give an f about the fans.
It's all about how much money can we squeeze out?
And Baseball made a merchandising deal with Nike, and as
I was told and as I understand it from someone
(30:40):
who claimed to have inside information that and Nike's like, okay,
we'll do it. And they had the same problem. Now
get the same problem in baseball that they had in
the NFL, where the teams like their uniforms and don't
want to change their uniforms. So Nike is like, well,
we sell more merchandise if we keep changing the uniforms.
And the team in the NFL didn't want to change.
(31:01):
They really get the Rams to change, Jacksonville, they were
like a few teams that would change, but the Green
Bay Packers, the Raiders are not changing their uniform and
so that became a problem in the NFL. But in
baseball it's the same thing. Like teams like their uniforms.
So what they did is a compromise is they added
that City Series uniform, which is like an extra uniform. Connect. Yeah,
(31:26):
that's what it's called City Connect. So they did that.
Then in addition to that, they agreed to sell all
Star uniforms, which it's just a money grab. Nike's trying
to get their money back because they're paying baseball a
lot of money. You know what's up with that Padres
City Connect Jersey. By the way, what is I haven't
seen that one? What is that? It looks like South Beach? Hey,
(31:51):
oh does it crazy rainbow colors? Are you sure that
wasn't their Pride uniforms? Are you sure that was the
he Connect? It does look like a Pride uniform though, yeah.
And I have not seen that, so but that's it.
And and Richard, No, I love the All Star Game
and it's great. And as far as All Star games,
(32:12):
I think the uniform just everyone wear their own uniforms
is awesome, especially back in like the seventies and eighties, Danny,
when guys were in the blue uniforms, you know, the
different wild colors, uh, and and and and and whatnot.
That was that was pretty neat. And I got to
go to a Pro Bowl one time, which was really
cool in Hawaii back when it was in Hawaii, and
I I got to go to Loha Stadium, which no
(32:35):
longer exists. And I remember being at the practice and
seeing all the different helmets. That was like really cool
to see all the helmets. So they had like they
had a red jersey or a blue jersey or whatever,
and then they would just have this the regular helmet
and that was that was I like that, that's the
way it should be for all all star in Pro
(32:57):
Bowl games. Yeah, I agree. Jason Rocky Mount Virginia rights
and he says, when I eat a good burrito, I
gobble it down using my hands, no fork involved. What
are your styles of digging into that big ass burrito? Well,
great question, Jason. Many people are dying to know on
a Sunday in a mail bag, how do you eat
(33:18):
a burrito? M h And I didn't even know there
are people that eat a burrito with a with a fork.
I guess you what, You lay the thing down and
cut it with a knife. Is that how that would work?
I guess. I mean, if it's one of those huge,
fat ass eight pound burritos, I would cut that in half.
(33:38):
But if you're talking just a wonderful bean in cheese
with no onion burrito from Taco Bell, you're just eating
out and maybe dipping it into some hot sauce. Right, Yeah,
so he must be going like massive, massive burrito. But
like I've used a knife on the the chimney chongda right,
(34:01):
that's the fried burrito Chana. Yeah, yeah, the deep fried burrito,
the that you go with that like, yeah, I get
that cutting that with a knife, but a regular burrito. No,
I'm not. I'm not going down that road. Who wants
to eat too many changas all year? Not me? Yeah?
(34:22):
Now you all right? Next up is our buddy Pierre.
Not in Springfield, not near the Pro Basketball Hall of Fame,
not where Muffett McGraw is. Since Ferg Dog is sick
of your Muffett McGraw reference, it's not my fault that
Ferg Dog is a party pooper and Muffett McGraw Danny
(34:47):
g is a fun name to say. Come on, did
you say pooper? Well that too, that's actually a Russian
coach I think in the Hall of Fame. Now I
could change it up. I could go to the Pro
Bouncyball Hall of Fame website and find some other names
that are amusing. I could do that. What are some
of your favorite old school NBA players names? Oh? Well,
(35:10):
the World Be Free? Uh? The original before ron our Test,
there was Purvish Short. That's a good one. Otis Bird's
song remember him? Now you know? Uh? Rory Sparrow, Orlando Woolridge, Yes,
(35:32):
the Big Oh that was that was good. Uh. Oh wait, blob,
I think I said that right from the Dallas Mavericks debt.
Lift Shrimp just a fun name. Classic Bowl minute Ball
was wonderful. Uh. The ugliest player I ever saw in
(35:54):
the NBA among the centers was Paul mckenski. He was
He was right ugly, Uh than Kevin McHale. Yeah, like
Paul mcknski at the end of his career with the
Milwaukee Bucks. I was still I was just starting my
radio stringing career and I was out watching him play.
(36:15):
The Bucks were playing the Clippers, and I said, you know,
I'm I'm ugly, but this guy makes me look like, uh,
you know, a tend I should stand next to this guy,
and uh, now I think I look at this age,
I looked just like Paul mckski looked back then. So
it's a come full circle for me. Uh. That's other
all funny nemes. We were talking about UFOs earlier on
(36:37):
the podcast. Um Sam Casell Oh yeah, Sam and a
great Clipper. Great Sam Cassell was part of the first
generation where the Clippers became relevant. Him and Elton Brand
and that and that run there that that was cool
(36:58):
and then the Clippers allowed them to win a championship
with the Celtics. They were kind to them, and they
let him. They let him go to the Celtics and
win a title and all that all right. Next up
on the mailback Greg from Parts Unknown, right, so, and
he says, if you or Danny G had to cook
a meal to impress your lady, what would you prepare? So?
(37:24):
I have been cooking a lot in recent years, and
unfortunately for the misses, I only really know how to
cook stuff I like theat so I only learned like
I can make a mean cheese steak. I can make burgers,
cheese burgers on the grittle, although there's one dish that
(37:46):
I make that she likes. I'm able to take a chicken.
I chop it up really thin. I can make fajitas,
chicken and rice, like basic stuff like that. I'm pretty
good at nothing too exotic, although I did make rip
off recipes. During COVID, we made a bunch of rip
off recipes for the Popeye's chicken sandwich, some chicken finger places,
(38:07):
and that was pretty cool. What about you, Danny, or
you think something in the air fryer for you, possibly
mac and cheese, possibly now you know, for my tinder rony,
my cooking is not done in the kitchen. Hello. She
tells me that as long as I keep cooking in
the bedroom. Mom, all good with her? The microphone throttler, Oh,
(38:29):
look at that. Look at Danny. That's a don't pull
a muscle on that one, Danny, do not pull a muscle.
As long as I don't hurt my hip flex or
I'll be good for a while without having to step
into the kitchen. Yeah, stay in y'all late, Stay in
y'all late, all right. Senior Joel rights and he says,
why is youth wasted on the young? Great question? Why
(38:53):
why is wisdom wasted on the old? You can work
both ways, right, The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Yeah. Yeah.
And the great thing about life, And I've seen this
as I've grown up, and I've mentioned this from time
to time. It just keeps repeating itself. Like the technology
(39:15):
changes and the bells and whistles and all that change,
But people make the same mistakes over and over again.
You almost wonder if this is like a simulation, Danny.
I don't want to go full mushrooms on you, but
you wonder if this is all just some kind of
weird simulation, and we just keep coming back over and
over again in different roles. And maybe next time I'll
come back and I'll be a crow, and I'll be
(39:37):
a crow, and then you'll be a goldfish, and then
the following time, I'll be a dolphin and uh, and
then you'll be a snail. I want to come back
as bo Jackson so I could run Bosworth over in
the end zone. I want to come back as Babe,
Ruth Bambino. That's what I want to be. Bigger than life.
I want to suck down some mut liquor and eat
(39:59):
some dogs. Yeah exactly, Yeah, that's what you want. Man,
Come on living the life there. And I heard Babe
was quite the ladies man back in his day too.
Babe made the rounds. All those ladies had annoying voices,
just like the radio and TV announcers back then. Oh
it's it's kind of like the guy that calls us
from Massachusetts. Andre. Yeah, yeah, he sounds he's got that
(40:22):
old school sports old time they call it old timey. Yeah,
that's it. He's old timey. That that should be his nickname,
old Timey. Andre. Well, he liked that or not. Yeah,
that's exactly what he sounds like. It's so weird because
he's a normal sports radio caller and as you know,
we're not used to that. In the Overnight Danny and
(40:45):
when the Twilight happens, the weirdos pop up, not weirdos,
but the more unique characters, the people with bohemian tendencies
come out TV. But that wasn't the case. It was
the reels right at the theater. So you'd go to
the movie theater, Hello, sports fans. Yeah, before the movie,
they would show you sports, the world news on a reel,
(41:08):
and it was one of the announcers saying, in the
world of sports, Well, it's like that old baseball movie
The Natural, right they play on the Natural second. Yes,
it's a great movie. Man, that was solid. I wanted
that when I was a kid. I wanted I wanted
to get the Night's Jersey and the hat Roy Hobbs Baby.
(41:28):
If you could show your kids just two movies from
the nineteen eighties, I would say, Back to the Future
and The Natural? What about Ghostbusters? That you know the Ghostbusters?
You know Ghostbusters? You're not a ghost there? But not
it's not in the stratosphere of the natural and back
to the future. Is it true, Danny g that the
(41:51):
last great era of raunchy movies was the nineteen eighties.
Oh yeah, one thousand percent, and it's spilled over into
the early nineties just a little bit. There's a little
on the fringes. But society was starting to get more
buttoned up in the nine which is odd because the
(42:14):
president in the nineties got unbuttoned, but society got more
buttoned up starting in the ninety nineties. But you look
at some of these these films, uh that that were
made in the like the seventies and the eighties and
the early eighties in particular. Oh man, yeah, there are
storylines and plots and jokes that you could not touch
(42:36):
with a ten foot poll nowadays. Oh and the studios
would never make them. Yeah, yeah, you know that now.
A lot of Hollywood is you gotta have everyone included,
you know, and all that the old movies like nah,
we do what we want and all that stuff. Do
you imagine if they tried making three men in a
baby right now? Oh? Oh yeah, come on, sexist exist
(43:01):
what's what's the you can get pregnant to? What's the
nexus I know, I know, what's the Western What was
the oh the three Amigos? No, no, no, was blazing saddles?
That was it? Right? Wasn't it blazing saddles? Where the
white women at? Yeah? That there you go, Where the
white women at? All? Right? That's that's not so all right.
(43:24):
We gotta get out of here, Danny g It's a
Sunday and all Star break in Baseball the White Women.
A programming note for you podcast listeners, I will not
be on the radio show tonight on Sunday Night. I
am you boot. I've got prior engagement. It's my my
(43:44):
wedding anniversary today, so I will be doing that thank
you on that shocking, shocking as that is. But you
will be in the radio. Do Joe Hard at work? Is?
I will? I'll be in for the very fun Covino
and Rich and then that leads into what's normally the
warm up for you. But it will still be your
(44:05):
show on the air. And who do you know who's
going in for you? I do not know. It will
likely be Mr Well. It won't be Mr Plank because
he's on with you, yeah Plank or with me leading
into your first show of the week. So is it
gonna be Brian No. I'm gonna go either Brian No
(44:25):
or Bernie or Fratto. Okay, yeah, one of those two.
We'll find out together. I have no idea. I just
I talked to management and I said, hey, I gotta
I gotta take a day, how dare you? And then
this week, don't forget. I'll be back though tomorrow on
the radio. And then we've got the Mallard Palooza, which
it's just gonna be amazing. This might be the Marconi Dan,
(44:46):
This could be the one that wins the Marconi Rob.
I hope that Real Talk makes a comeback after all
these years of being gone, and he doesn't duet with Eddie.
That was that was fun. I had my battles with
Real Talk, but those duets were outstanding. They were so good.
And it was always funny too when Real Talk would
(45:08):
called up and he just did like a serious call,
and you knew at some point he would say the
most offensive thing he could possibly say to immediately get
dumped and end the phone call. He'd go on for
a while, he'd do a normal call, and then all
of a sudden and you sleep with with you know,
there still will never be a moment like the one
(45:30):
when we first all heard Eddie Garcia sing, because we
had no idea that he was very much Frank Sinatra, like, oh,
it was great, it was a wonderful night. And it's
I guess same somewhere on the podcast. I don't know.
There's only a limited amount of podcast avail. I mean
somebody said on Spotify, I think it goes back to
(45:53):
thank God. I have the clip of when he first sang,
but it's short. It's like a twenty second clip, so
I don't have the whole song saved. I wish I did,
Like you're dying laughing. Coop's laugh in the back is
pretty amazing and we just all lose it on the
(46:16):
way we were gentlemen. I'm scattered picture the smiles we left.
We had no idea he was gonna be taken serious. Yeah,
(46:37):
Eddie's an interesting character the Mermaid. There's some things that
we think Eddie should do that he doesn't do, and
there's other things that we don't think Eddie will do,
and he will do very well. Said, he's an odd all.
We gotta get out of here, thank you, Danny. Catch
him today and I'll be back tomorrow. The talent show
(46:58):
is on Wednesday into Thursday. Say and we'll talk to
you then. Asta pasta, I gotta murder, Gotta go,
Host
Ben Maller
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If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.