July 24, 2022 • 45 mins
Ben Maller is in the podcast studio with Danny G. and they're having fun inside the mail bag for your Sunday! All questions sent in by P1's of the #MallerMilitia! Download, subscribe, and remember that sharing is caring (unless it's an STD.) Follow Danny G. @DannyGradio and Ben on Twitter @BenMaller and listen to the original terrestrial radio edition of "Ben Maller Show," Monday-Friday on Fox Sports Radio, 2a-6a ET, 11p-3a PT!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
into the podcast Jojo for another additional The Fifth Hour
with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio Ready to attack monster.
(00:48):
That's what we're gonna do here, Danny Gee. And it's Sunday.
We have made it to another Sunday. And you know
what that means. Yeah, you get to play with sound effects.
That's right, because every time we do this Sunday thing,
it's let me tell you something, all right, it's it's
like an old Benny Hill thing. It's well running all
(01:10):
over the place. There as things that no, no, well,
I will guarantee we will not be all right. And
if we are, heads are going to roll. Heads will
absolutely roll, damn right. So let's get into the ring.
(01:33):
I think I've played enough sound bites now and Ohio. Aw,
please get us started. Ohio. Aw. It's alright, wonderful. I
(01:54):
loved Ohio al song and the talent show this week
that we had the Mallard pelluza I mentioned Ohio. We
play that song every week here on the Fifth Hour podcast.
First letter, let's see here you've got mail? All right, Yes,
we do have mail. The first message in on this
(02:14):
edition to the Fifth Hour comes to us from Kevin
in Rockford, Illinois. He says, it has finally been done.
I hiked up Quandary Peak and planted a new flag
made from a Buffalo Chicken pizza box Mount Mallard, and
he sent a photo here. He posted it on the
(02:34):
Facebook page Danny it's really cool. Let it be known
that since July, Quandary Peak, that's q U A N
d a r Y Peak right outside Breckon Ridge, Colorado,
is now Mount Mallard. And he then he goes over
(02:55):
the top. Here you're talking about giving me a big ego,
he says, named after the greatest sports talk coast, the
great Ben Well. Thank you, Kevin. Very nice of you
to do that, that you would go out of your
way there to litter on top of the mountain. In
my name, so somebody else will climb up there and
say who the F is that? But but thank you, Kevin. Congratulations.
(03:21):
That's a great accomplishment. And I am jealous. I've never
climbed up the top of a a mountain. I have
not done that. I'm gonna send you this photo, Danny.
I want you to want to you have arrived, by
the way, in your next contract negotiations or negotiations as
(03:42):
you would say with FSR, you need to show them
that picture. Yeah, and look how professionally done the the
the sign was. I mean that, that's like a sign
company made that, Dan. I just sent the picture over
to you. It's got the date there and it says
(04:02):
says Mount Mallard m A L L E er. Uh.
What's at the top there? I can't think that blue
hiking shoes. Yeah, those that's a good color. Blue. Got
some kind of yellow jacket. It looks like I can
see the guy's hand, Kevin's hand right there did cross
(04:24):
out something on the other half. But I'm not looking
at that, Danny. I'm looking at Mount Mallard right there.
Oh he crossed out Quandary peak. Oh see now it
makes sense. See you look at that. I'm glad I
sent that to you. I was like, I was looking.
I was like, what the helf is that? And it
says it's fourteen thousand, two hundred seventy two ft. Right
(04:44):
is that? I believe that's what he looked down there?
So beautiful photo. Holy cow, thousand, two hundred and seventy two.
How long are you allowed to stay there? If I
climbed a mountain, I would want to stay there for
like a week. I wouldn't want to get down. I'll
be like, I spent all my time comb up here
(05:05):
fourteen thousand, two undred seventy two ft. I'm gonna stay
here for a while. I'm not going anywhere. I went
up I think ten eleven thousand feet when I was
in Wyoming in Montana, and I thought that was high
up above sea level. Holy ship, Yeah, holy shit balls
for sure. Well, thank you, Kevin. I look forward to
your next hiking adventure. And where will he go next? Kevin?
(05:29):
As he goes to all the big peaks, will he
hit Mount Kilimanjaro? Will that be on the list? Who knows.
We'll live our lives to Kevin. A big fan of
the show from Rockford, Illinois. Next up on the mail bag.
Let's see here, who do we have? I got mail? Yeah,
I got mail. Yeah. Until ow from Longwood, Florida via Newark,
(05:55):
New Jersey rights in. He's got a sport. Oh question,
he says. I look at how low the Yankee batting
average is, and I wonder if they will quit hitting
in the playoffs they will face better pitching. Do you
think they will flounder again? So until I do have
my doubts about the Yankees. I think their their record
(06:16):
is inflated. But there's also the injury bug, which every
team has to worry about. But Aaron Judge made out
of glass, John Carlos Stanton also a guy that's injury prone.
They have that in their d n A. But I
will tell you on a positive note, I'll be Benny
bright Side. If you look at the batting average of
(06:37):
just about every team in baseball, it is embarrassing. They
don't even try to hit. They don't even play the contact.
And that's why if you have a couple of guys
that played a contact, I believe you have an advantage.
That's one of the reasons I like the Dodgers this
year is because trade Turner and Mookie Bets are guys
that can hit for power, but they'll also put the
(06:57):
ball in play, at least in Theory Braves last year, Danny,
the Braves had a bunch of They had a lot
of contact guys. He's hurt right now, but Chris Taylor
is like that for the Dodgers as well. Yeah, and
Justin Turner has been playing much better the last month
and a half. He's actually been a good player. He
was not a good player the first month of the season.
(07:19):
But yeah, I know, I tell us probably saying, hey, dummy,
I didn't ask about the Dodgers. I asked about the Yankees.
Uh about Nasty Nestor's crew. Yeah, you like that glove
that he had on there, solid solid. What do you
think the average batting averages in baseball this season? Danny?
(07:42):
I mean, let I got the numbers here. I'm gonna
stake here a right to forty nine. It's can't be
much higher than that, though, I'm trying to get it
up right here and having problems. Yes, Uh, the phrasing
on that was unfort Yes, all right, let's see here.
(08:05):
The average batting batting average in the professional baseball the
year two. I now have the right page up. Let's
see here. The average team batting average is two forty two. Okay,
all right. The Yankees are slightly above average. They're hitting
(08:25):
two six. The Dodgers are two fifty five. The top
hitting team the Rockies and the Blue Jays. That's this
is all these numbers at the All Star break, and
there their team batting average to sixty two and they're
leading baseball. The worst hitting team the Oakland Athletics, a
robust two eleven batting average for the Oakland f's not
(08:49):
a's fs. So good luck to the Yankees, a tillo,
thank you for this thing. Next up on the mail bag,
we say hello to Chris and Mary Cooke to Iowa.
He says, what amount is an appropriate gift for weddings?
Give a range from second cousin up to siblings, and
include friends. Also the for funerals, same question, how much
(09:13):
money is appropriate? So as far as weddings are concerned,
it depends on how far you have to travel to
the wedding. That's always the most important thing. If you're
going from a long way away, the gift gets smaller
and smaller and smaller and smaller because the gift is
you attended exactly, you're the gift. Unfortunately, also, if you
(09:37):
only talk to the person once a year or less,
the gift is relatively small because they won't remember you anyway,
you get something from your game room. Yeah, Usually what
you do is you go on the gift registry. If
they're like a second cousin, and you'll go on. If
(09:58):
you're not close to him, you go like on targets,
say all right, what's fifty bucks? Boom done? Maybe a hundred,
but I wouldn't go too crazy on that. What about you, Danny,
do you have a pay scale on weddings and funerals? Funerals, um,
you know, for weddings. I think you're right. I mean,
if it's somebody close to you and you didn't travel
(10:20):
a long ways, then I would spend a couple hundred bucks.
But somebody that you barely talked to, like for instance,
I'm thinking of a wedding I went to a couple
of years ago, and on their registry, I noticed that
they were loading up on games and stuff like that
for their game room. So I went to Barnes and
Nobles and found like this really cool Stranger Things board
(10:43):
game and I knew both of them loved that show,
so I got that it was kind of unique to them.
And so I think just put some thought into your gift. Okay, yeah,
for sure, for sure absolutely, Uh, thank you for that though,
Chris and the funeral thing. Yeah, I've been to a
bunch of funerals. I don't recall having to write a
check at the funeral though? Did I miss that? And I?
(11:05):
What am I a bad person? Was? I don't do gifts.
I guess some people do flowers and will bring dishes
for like a pot luck maybe afterwards. Yeah, it's usually
been in lieu of flowers. You can donate money. Uh.
In fact, one of the last funerals I attended, they
(11:26):
they asked for to like buy books for kids that
didn't have books. So we did some of that and
bought some books and and whatnot. But I don't recall said, hey,
can you cut a check? And all I don't I
don't remember that. Next up, very morbid from Chris in Marraccata, Iowa.
Thank you for the morbid. Take appreciate that. The next
(11:50):
up on the mail bag come back it's sign for now,
I'll call Jennifer and Richmond Virginia. Jennifer a very nice
performance in the Talent Show. She was one of the
early participants. She says, Hey, Ben in Danny G. In
your driving experience, are you a believer in turning off
(12:12):
the air conditioning in order to get better acceleration? I
swear this makes a difference for me, or at least
for my sturdy old nineties seven camera. That's impressive. You've
got a twenty five year old car, You're still driving
around and still getting it done. It's a good job
by you. Uh. Jennifer also says, Danny G. Do you
have any eligible bachelor friends that don't cook in the kitchen?
(12:38):
But you know that thing you said last week? I
got Jennifer's attention there, Danny, you pointed out that you
do not have the cooking gene, but you do have
a cooking gene in another room. Yeah. So she she
apparently would like to go out with one of your friends, Danny.
So if you have anybody available, Jennifer is willing to travel,
(13:01):
I believe so who me? And as far as the
air conditioning thing, I don't know. I guess it depends
how old your car is. I think that's more of
a myth. I don't know. I don't. I don't really
pay much of David's hot I got the A C on.
Supposedly it helps your gas mileage. I do, yeah that
I've heard. She says, acceleration though the car. Yeah, I'm not.
(13:23):
I don't know about that. I have not heard that,
but I guess an older camera maybe it would make
a difference. And I have heard that even the gas
thing is not that. That's not even the case any nowadays,
the way they make cars, it doesn't help you much
with gas mileage. Yeah, you're you're screwed either way, and
might as well get the cold air blown on you, exactly,
(13:46):
all right. Next up is our body, Adrian in the
Mile High City. You've got mail, Yes, Adrian, great family man.
He's the guy that wanted the cruise. Remember last week
he has the travel log part two. In the mail back,
he says banded Danny G. Yes, Danny G is correct.
We paid a hefty rate to book the cruise, including,
(14:09):
or included, rather in the booking is all of the
food options on the ship. Water, lemonade, iced tea, and
coffee are included. There are separate drink packages for soda
and alcoholic beverages. All right, fair enough, I'll be okay
with lemonade and water tearing the camel's ass up. Yeah, anyway,
(14:33):
Adrian says we had four ports of call during the
eight day Caribbean cruise. Key West, Florida was the first
part we arrived at, and Adrian giving the travelog updates
to his family and I. His family and I ate
at a local restaurant. They're called Pincher's Crab Shack, the
(14:54):
Fresh Key Lime Pie, and my Peach Cobbler lives. He's
sent me a picture here. It looks pretty good. I
gotta have a piece or two. If you ever visit
Key West. I would like to go to Key West.
I've heard wonderful things about Key West, that it's just
a cool place to hang out. People go there to
get away from just kind of society, if you will.
(15:15):
But it was it was that where Earnest Hemingway. Is
that where he hung out in Key West? Oh? Yes,
I think Jimmy Johnson lives there. Isn't that where Jimmy
they I'm talking about the football version of Jimmy Johnson,
old cowboy coach. I think he lives there. And Mike
Leach when he was between coaching jobs, the Pirate Mike Leach.
(15:36):
I believe he lived there as well. So there's been
some interesting cats that I've and not that I know them,
but I've dealt with them off and on over the
years that have have gone there. Here, and Adrian says, uh,
did I mentioned they walked? They walked to the southern
most point in the continental US marker. The other three
ports of call where the Bahamas in the Bahamas, Freeport,
(15:59):
half Moon Bay, and the capital city of Nassau. Now
he said half half Moon K. But I think he
meant half Moon Bay. I've never have you ever heard
of half Moon K. Yeah, I've never heard of uh,
says freeport and half moon Uh. He said half moon
(16:19):
K again, so maybe that's maybe that's it. It's gotta
be because half Moon Bay is California's Oh there you go.
That's right. So I just think half moon half moon
K C A Y. I think that's how you say it.
Says they were beautiful and we enjoyed the white sand
and clear blue water at the beaches. Absolutely. Why I've
never been to Have you ever been to the Bahamas,
(16:40):
I've never been there. I've been to the Bahamas one time?
Is it worth the trip? Is it that much better
than Hawaii? Or I just didn't care for the food
there in the Bahamas? What's wrong with the food? That's
wrong like a bunch of jerk chicken, and there wasn't
a lot of flavor. It was bland to me. Got you,
Adrian continues to giving the review years is that those
(17:02):
places were beautiful. We enjoyed the white sand and clear water,
a blue water. The water was beautiful. Nasa, though, was
dirtier than I expect. And when my family and I
were browsing around the shops, Adrian points out, I was
offered the booker sugar three different times by some of
the locals outside the shops, bunch of hookers and cocaine.
(17:26):
I respectfully declined and continued shopping with the family. As
soon as that plane landed and we got out to
the driver, the driver offered us every drug you could imagine.
It was like it was like a buffet for drugs.
Um and then and then as they drive you through
(17:47):
their ship towns, you're starting to get a guilt trip.
You're feeling really bad, like, man, I am coming here
as a spoiled as American to vacation in their water. Meanwhile,
are driving buying realizing they don't have trash pickup in
their towns. They's just trash all over the sides of
the roads. Beautiful resort on the water and it's hidden
(18:12):
away from the craft that's in town. Yeah, my brother
went to Costa Rica and he had a similar experience
to what you were talking about. Where they land You
land at the airport. Airport's okay, they put you on
a bus and you drive through poverty. Were the people
that are serving you the all inclusive food and then
and they they can't even afford to eat themselves, and
(18:34):
then they drop you off at the resort and all
that stuff. So yeah, yeah, and they have the resort.
I got this weird vibe from the people working there,
like where they did it with a smile in good
customer service, but it was like fuck you spoiled American.
That kind of vibe interesting, all right, Adrian says. Carnival
Cruise Lines was celebrating his fiftieth birthday, so they had
(18:55):
all kinds of deals and giveaways on board the Carnival
The Dream. Our family had a great time at the
water park on Boarday says, the three kids love the
water slides. Absolutely gotta love the water slide on that now. Lastly,
Adrian says, some sort of medical emergency happened to someone
on board the ship while we were somewhere off the
(19:17):
Florida coast. A US Coastguard helicopter was sent out to
meet our ship and transport the sick person to a
Florida hospital. It's pretty wild to have a chopper hovering
directly over the ship. He took a photo of it.
Here Danny Geese, I'm looking at the photo of it,
he says, I'm thinking of throwing down some money. Also
on the Dodgers, Ben and Danny Geese Dodgers here to
(19:40):
win the Fall Classic. They looked tough through the first half.
It does make me a little nervous that I liked
him in that spot. Put a guarantee on it though,
And he says training camp is almost here and are
we here in the Rocky Mountains? Cannot wait to see
Mr Unlimited and company cool. Thank you Adrian for the
(20:04):
detailed travel log, and I love the fact that you
wore the Ben Maller shirt uh in the in the
some a couple of photos there, and you're your son,
one of your kids there has the old Bronco logo,
which I like. I like the old logo more than
the new logo. So I enjoyed that hat that he
had on. Next up, Yes, Next up we go to
(20:28):
Kevin in Kansas. On the mailbag. He says, Dear Ben
and Danny g Here in western Kansas, it's county fair time.
It's a big deal in these parts. Is there anything
like this and so cal if So? Did you ever participate?
Maybe a favorite fair food? Well, yeah, Kevin, I talked
about this a little bit in the Saturday podcast. But
we have the San Diego Fair, San Diego County Fair,
(20:52):
the Orange County Fair, the Los Angeles County Fair, which
are pretty much all the same. Really, right, isn't the
same group that just moved from city to city. You're
right about that. San Diego just looks prettier. Yeah, yeah,
it's beautiful there in San Diego. But yeah, we have
this similar setup and the Carneys come to town. I
(21:14):
was amazed. I was at the Orange County Fair last weekend.
How how many people they have working they're considering it's
so hard to get people to work like they must
be paying them decent amounts of money because every one
of those stands, and there were hundreds of them, serving food,
every kind of food you could possibly want, and they
had people working there doing their thing. People basically go
(21:34):
to get fat. Yeah, and it's what kind of weird
concoction there was this year? I saw a kool Aid
chicken sandwich were they mixed kool aid like the powder
on the on the you know, cool they can be. Yeah,
who's saying they want that? By the way, Who's like,
(21:55):
I need some cool aid with my fried chicken that'll
complete me? I don't, but somebody came up with it.
And yes, ken enjoy give us a report on the food.
I want to know what it's like in your neck
of the w I've heard amazing things about some of
those Midwestern county fairs, like in Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin. Supposedly
(22:15):
they're just amazing. I'm gonna go out on a limb
here that you've never actually gone on any of the
rides at the fair and what what what do you
what are you referencing, Danny, I'm saying, I kind of
feel like you went there at a graze on food
and you just like thumbed your nose at the rides,
like I'm not getting on these freaking makeshift rides. No,
(22:35):
I do not get on rides at the fair. I occasionally,
if I feel like being a sucker, I will play
some of the Carney games that I know we're all rigged,
you have no chance of winning, and so I will
do that occasionally. But do you guys look at the exhibitions. Yeah,
that's something I never did until recently, now that I'm
(22:57):
getting older and now I'm like, oh, I'm interested in
the card editing expo. Yeah, the guard. I can get
a hot top. Wait a minute, everyone needs a hot top.
Who doesn't need a hot top? Come on? Please? Yeah?
Next up? John in Northern Colorado, that's right, he says.
(23:18):
Would you consider writing an e bike? Yes? Absolutely, John,
I've looked into getting any bike, but the premise I'm
a big guy. The ones they sell that are pretty
cheap at costco I would not fit on. And the
ones that I would fit on that go pretty far
and I would use a lot are too expensive, so
(23:40):
I need the price to come down. But I would
absolutely do that. Would you be an e bike guy,
Danny G I actually have one, are you do? Look
at you are any bike guy who knew? Yeah, I mean, unfortunately,
where I moved to on the border of San Fernando
Valley in Ventura County, there's a ton of hills. It's
pedal assist, so it's not like it's just gonna take
(24:02):
you up the hill by itself. So that's the problem
right now is I need a flatter surface. So what
the Tinderoni and I have been looking into is a
bike rack for one of the vehicles we have. That
would be good. Yeah, we need one. They're expensive, but
it's worth it. Yeah, So the the e bike thing,
I'd be all about it, and I would likely use
(24:23):
it a lot. It's cheating, but it's fun. Why not
the one I got. It's cheating, but it's not total cheating.
You still gotta you still got a pedal well to
get it going. There's somewhere they're almost like motorized mopeds
or something like almost like fast mopeds. Yeah, yeah, like
I'd be into that. I just like pretend people would like, oh,
(24:46):
he's on a bike, but then they wouldn't really realize
that he's not really on a bike, he's just driving.
Like you might as well be on a moped or
a motorcycle or whatever. Next up is a John John,
one of our regular podcast contributors, and he's just mooining
the army here Danny of guys complaining about the stream.
(25:07):
He says, another thing, they run ads that aren't in
sync where fs are. He says, uh, there's a two
minute delay. So he listens to his home station, John's
in St. Louis. So he listens to the fan five nine.
He says, it's only about a five or ten second delay,
and the ads run in line with yours, So I'm
(25:29):
sticking with the five ninety stream over I Heart. Well, however,
you get the show. John, We thank you for listening.
And I have heard rumors that they are working on
that to solve the I Heart Fox Sports Radio stream issues. Yeah,
we'll see if that actually happens or not. Hopefully does
(25:50):
sooner than later and everyone can come back to the
I Heart app and all those other people that left
that don't come back, well, we'll just tell him to
the funk up. Okay, shut the funk up exactly. Ulysses
from Virginia right since, says Ben and Dannigy in reference
to the tour de France and the fact that only
(26:11):
a handful of Americans are in the race, but none
in the top ranks. Don't you think it's time we
embrace Lance Armstrong for the years he made us proud
to be Americans and stop the nonsense with his cheating
scandals when the fact is almost all the top ranked
(26:33):
bikers of that era we're also caught in doping scandals themselves.
I think I read somewhere that six of the top
ten finishers during the early two thousands were also busted
for using drugs, but no one wants to talk about that.
I say, Lance had to compete against the best, which
included being the best at juicing up, says Ulysses. Yeah,
(26:57):
so this is the defense that the cheating as strows
have made that we also heard in the steroid erape
back in Bonds and McGuire and so that erae baseball.
It's the everybody's doing it defense doesn't work, And I'll
(27:17):
tell you why it doesn't work. You just explain why.
If you get pulled over for speeding, there are probably
what a thousand other cars going probably as fast as
you were, if not faster, and you go to court,
you said listen, judge. Yeah, I was speeding, but everyone
else was speeding. Awesome, so I should not have to
(27:39):
pay this Fine, what do you think the judge is
gonna do exactly just because everyone else is doing If
everyone else is committing murder, you I can committing murder
everyone else is doing. What do you want me to do? Now,
that's not how it works. Okay, come on, you are
fake anyway. Next up Pierre in West Warren. He says, Narrowcasting,
(28:05):
not far from East Brookfield. Also Narrowcasting, which was the
birthplace of Connie Mac a new reference for you because
fur dog is apparently triggered by Muffett McGraw, according to Pierre,
who says again he's a real close to the birthplace
of Connie Mac. He says, Ben, how long before fast
(28:28):
food joints go to full carry out or vending machine
style pick up? More and more places have apps or
order kiosk, allowing people to skip the line unless people
seem to want to work in general, especially at these
type of jobs. Well, that's a that's a tough one.
(28:49):
We're gonna go to vending machines for a big mac.
I don't I don't see that happening. What do you
think that do you think we're getting to that point
with the fast food where it's just gonna be carry
out only you can eat there. Hopefully not. I mean
some of these fast food restaurants have stepped up their
game in the past couple of years, like really raised
that wage up, at least for their restaurant. I mean,
(29:11):
we go into the Panda Express here where I live
and they have a sign on the window where they're
starting people at like seventeen fifty an hour for fast food.
That's not bad. I mean when we were kids, you
couldn't make that sort of money working in fast food.
It was the Bronze Age, but it was like five
bucks an hour or less back in the back in
(29:34):
the day. Thank you, Pierre. He also sent a copy
of a podcast. He said, here's a link to my
favorite dead podcaster when he interviewed the also deceased Jay Thomas,
and it's from Gilbert Gottfried's podcast. I'll have to check
that out at some point. Mike from Fullerton also known
(29:55):
as fer Dog Rights, and he says, I'd like to
start by apologizing two Pierre in Springfield. I should not
have told Pierre that I'm going to shoot myself if
I have to hear this muppet McGraw intro again. Wow,
fer Dog, is that what led to Pierre's reaction? I
wondered what happened to Alfhai alien o Piner because it's
(30:18):
very bizarre, Danny that all of a sudden He's like, listen,
um from a different place. I'm not from from Springfield,
mass And now we know the rest of the story.
What a what a punk move by fur Dog if
that's true? Man, he says. My question is do you
guys hate TV shows featuring puppets as much as I do,
(30:39):
Whether it's the ugly puppets on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood or
that dumb alien alf I hate them all. How much
chap here will you be when all these shows get canceled?
All right? So Mike's just busting balls here fur Dog
against Pierre slash Alpha Alien Miner. That's that's pretty funny, man.
(31:02):
I I'm with him on the Mr. Rogers thing. When
he did the puppets on that show, it creeped me
the funk out. I hated those puppets on the Mr.
Rogers show, and I'm gonna go against the grain here.
I didn't like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I just didn't like
that show. Not even when I was a little little kid.
I my mom would turn it on and I'd be like,
I don't like this. Was it the Daniel, the Striped Tiger, lady,
(31:28):
weird voices, and even as a little kid, I thought
this is low budget? It was pretty little budget. Yeah,
I didn't like Mr McFeeley, like kind of low budget shit,
or they push it on. Did you you never went
on the trolley that goes to make believe you didn't?
At least I thought Big Bird was real and Stuffle
(31:50):
Up Agains would come on screen, I was like stuff.
I mean, there was some kind of uh, you know,
quality and value in the Sesame Streets set. But Mr
Rogers it was like they weren't even trying. They're like, man,
these little kids. Yeah, I watched Mr. Rogers Neighborhood because
you know, there wasn't much on when I was growing up.
(32:11):
Danny and so I remember I did not like the
puppets much on that show. I did like when they
they would go and let's see how they make chocolates,
you know, or something stupid like that. That kind of
stuff I was into, but they didn't do too much
of that. But I have not watched an episode in
a while. Last time I saw Mr. Rogers was on,
there were a bunch of documentaries I think it was. Yeah,
(32:33):
there was one movie and then one documentary. Both were popular. Yeah.
Fer Dog also says he has a list, a Fifth
Hour Interview wish list. Let's see how many these are
actually possible. All Right, he says, Petro's Papadakis, that's possible.
You can definitely make that happen. Matt money Smith, we
could make that happen. Fred Rogan, I don't think that's
(32:56):
gonna happen. Me and Fred had a falling out years ago.
Uh yeah, we made up, but I don't think we're
like buddies or anything like that. I don't know. I'm
fine if he wants to do it, but I don't
think he'll do it, he says Rodney Pete. I don't
really know Rodney. I don't know if Rodney would do it.
Maybe though, Adam Scott, the golfer, he says, Roger Lodge, Oh, yeah,
(33:20):
Sports Lodge. We can get him one. Mr Anaheim, Gooby,
Mark Goobaza. Well, sure, Google is part of the Fox
Sports Radio Alumni Association. Tim Salmon, he wants to see
for Dog. I don't have a connection to Tim Salmon,
he says. Adam Scott the Actor. I see what he
did there. I'm sure Adam Scott the Actor is gonna
(33:43):
come on podcast the day after Never Chris Rose, what
you get, Chris, and Chris is part of the Fox
Sports Radio Alumni Association. And Arnie Spanning. We've already had
Arnie on the podcast. So Arnie has been on the
arenay on again at some point. But those are the
guys that for Dog would like to have on the podcast.
(34:07):
Very realistic. And then there were some names that were
completely unrealistic. Alright, next up on the mail bag, let's
see you Neil in the real Miami Rights. And he says,
dear mad hatter of sports Chatter, given that we only
retain of what we hear, it's always good to hear
(34:29):
all your nicknames over and over again, at least once
a month. Now. The well, the customer is always right there, Jesus. Well,
no no no no, no, no no go Jesus. Jesus
is not involved in this, but the customer is always right,
and so if it is involved when you do this,
(34:49):
because half the listeners scream and die. No, no, no,
The listeners say, give me more, give me more, give
me more. I love that content. So I am known,
among other things, as the spin master of misinformation, the
(35:13):
bannering broadcaster Beethoven, basic curmudgeon of commentary, Chasm of sarcasms,
Are of Zany, the dark night of weeknights, sports radio,
mogul of mischief, Benny, the brazen King of zing. You
pay me five thousand dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine.
(35:34):
No drops needed, Danny. People love the name Moneyball Mallard,
Who Benny the Bopper, facetious Fox, No, no, that okay?
Sulting of insulting, the shaman of schadenfreude, jumping Jack of wisecrack,
(35:58):
insight of over night medicine. Man Mallard name Bob of negativity,
Sage of outrage, the pinnacle of cynecal Prince of preposterous,
professor of propaganda, his are of hyperbole, and the mad
(36:22):
hatter of sports chatter. Now dumber for having listened to it.
You like a baseball player with the positions and notes
in your back pocket, Just pull out your nickname anytime
you need them. Listen, it's a photograph your memory like
Cowboy John Brand Unless I don't thank you to the
real Neil. He then says, after demanding the nickname roll Call,
(36:48):
he says, I am wondering the over under on. Uh,
you have more nicknames or hats in your collection? He says,
I've counted forty one of the via my social media.
He then sends a ven diagram. Here Danny Neil from
the Real Miami sends a diagram of every hat that
(37:10):
he has seen me wear on those YouTube videos. Says, uh,
he's got big blue m l A Dodger hat, be
in cursive, Wrigley Field hat, orange black b for the
Baltimore Orioles. I do not have an Orioles at. That
is a Baker's Field Blaze hat, So it's not an
Oriols hat. People confuse that Kentucky Clippers, he says. A
(37:32):
hat with a big A on it. That's the Arkansas
hat that Blake and Arkansas sent very nice big P
is that Patriots? Uh No, it's not pages Georgia Bulldogs.
I don't have a Georgia Bulldogs hat. Big A Athletics.
I don't think I have an a sat saddleback college
(37:54):
and he goes through all of these things. I don't
have time to read all of them. There's hats asked,
how did Neil have the time to do this? I
guess he just jotted it down every day. In the
video popped up and he's like, Okay, he didn't notice
the Flamingo Club hat. Where you can get the Mallard
Fowler in Kansas that's available to you. UH university football hat,
(38:18):
my old high school football hat that I occasionally wear.
That's impressive. Meal and I have more hats than nicknames.
To answer the question, I have more hast the nicknames,
he says, I noticed, you may or may not wear
some more other than others than that. He says, is
there any rhyme or reason's tracking the rotation of the cops? Yes? Yes,
(38:43):
he wants to know if there's any rhyme or reason
to the selection for that day and not really football season.
I usually wear the NFL shield cap when we do
something football related at the end of the week or
something like that. So I'll do that at or on
Sunday in the Monday, and then it was like the
(39:03):
NBA Finals, I'll dust off the NBA logo hat or
if it's a big day in baseball, where the MLB shield.
But other than that, let's see what I haven't worn
in a while. Let me change it up a little bit. Uh.
Day to day, I wear the Brooklyn Dodger hat more
than any hat. What's more interesting? Where do you keep
all these damn hats? Oh? I've got like bags and
(39:24):
bags as this hat. I wore this hat this week day.
And you can see that that's uh oh yeah, Washington
Lawn Service. Yeah, that's from our buddy ed in spoke Can.
He gave me that hat when I met him in Seattle,
So I wear that hat. It's kind of a cool logo,
like it's just someways got the state outline of Washington
and then the name of his business in there. So
(39:47):
that's cool. Pretty neat. You do look like a lawnmower.
How dare you? Cliff from Nashville rights, And he says,
Ben and Danny g When driving and searching for an
unfamiliar street or address, do you turn the radio down
when you find when you think you're your clothes, Oh yeah,
yeah yeah, and when you need to concentrate to back up.
(40:11):
And I don't do that. I don't do that. You
don't the volume down so you can concentrate on the road. No,
because I usually have my map thing on the audio
in the car, so if I turn it down, I
will not hear the final instruction. I don't have the
slick backup camera okay, manual stick shift, so I have
(40:32):
to back up like an O g old school. Yeah,
I got you, Yeah, I have the backup came. Although
it was broken. We got that fixed. So knock on
thing that works in that car. Yes, the car has
got some other issues. Our last one from balls fan
Jimmy from Big Orange Country. Since for both of you,
(40:54):
where did you take your wife on your first date?
And how long did it take to get a second? Well,
Danny's in the process of getting married. So I met
my wife at a restaurant in Pasadena. Actually was a
movie theater. I supposed to go see a movie. I
didn't go see a movie, ended up eating some finger
(41:14):
foods and drinking some cocktails at a bar. Ended up
seeing her pretty quickly after, like it didn't didn't have
to wait that long. We were both in into each other,
so that worked out pretty well. What about your Dan
was this where did we meet or where was our
your first date? And how long did it take for
your second date? Got you? So our first date was
(41:34):
at my crib. Oh yeah, lah, yeah, I did a
very bored okay on my dining table, and UH had
a nice French liqueur and poured her shots. And at
first she was like, hey, this is strong, and I
called her a woofs and she looked at me and
(41:56):
she was like, is that a challenge, And so she
started drinking it and yeah, so I got her nice
and French liquored up, and you you realize that she's competitive.
She's super competitive, because she was like, don't call me
a wos. And then the second date, we went to
Santa Barbara to get some fish tacos there by the water.
(42:18):
Oh cool. Yeah. And it was just a week later,
all right, So you don't have to wait very long either,
I got you. Yeah, so that the rules of like
you gotta wait like you. I don't know that that's
still a thing in the dating game these days. You
gotta wait, you gotta wait, you gotta wait a long time,
you know, kind of stupid. I think people have realized
that if you like somebody, just tell him you like
(42:40):
them and just go on the next day. I'm glad
to hear that because I hated those games, Like you
go on a date with somebody and they'd be like, well,
they were like, yeah, I gotta wait. Make him seem
like I'm not that interested in all that stuff. Well,
if I think you're not interested, I think you're not interested.
You know what I'm saying. Right after they leave the date,
send them seven five text messages immediately. Well that's the
(43:04):
way of the world, right, text messages for the roof.
All Right, we gotta get out of here on that.
It is the end of another successful weekend. Text to
Charles Davis again if you did not hear that on
the Friday podcast, Our guy Charles always entertaining. We loved him.
We worked at Fox for so long. Now he's at CBS,
(43:25):
but he still was very gracious with his time and
I love the conversation. Some great ideas talked about relegation
in college football, which I thought was pretty interesting and
the possibility that could actually happen. Uh, and then also
just some NFL chatter and sounds like Charles has quite
the story to tell about going from Fox to CBS.
(43:46):
But he's not quite ready to tell the story. Yeah,
I love the e A sports story he told too.
That was pretty cool. Yeah, the voice of Madden. He
went into detail how long does it take to bring
the Madden Game to life? And he also mentioned over
the years, and you heard this if you listen to
the interview of doing the Madden Game, who's recognizing like
(44:08):
the players that recognized, Hey, you're the guy from the
Madden Game. His answer, I thought was pretty surprising what
he said. So anyway you can hear all that. And
what do you have going on here today, Danny? Before
you say, before you said, I am on my way
this afternoon and to have some fun with Covino and
Rich at the FSR studios. And then right after that
(44:31):
the show right before yours, Ben your boy Arnie Spaniard
with Chris Plank. Oh like fans, right, Dolphins are gonna
go seventeen Steve Kerr. I went to high school with
Steve Kerr. I mean it's Steven super Ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and uh, Arnie last weekend told me that the Deshaun
(44:51):
Watson news was gonna come out, So I am still
waiting for that though, but he told me it was
gonna happen, like a week ago. I'm waiting. Maybe it'll happen, maybe,
maybe it Anyway, thank you, Danny, have a great rest
of your Sunday. I'll be back tonight in the Magic
Radio Box as well. Eleven pm in the West on Sunday,
two am in the East on Monday morning. Either way,
(45:12):
I'll be there for four hours blabbing away and we'll
catch you then, Osta Pasta, I gotta murder, I gotta
go
Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants of
the old Republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He treats
crackheads in the ghetto cutter the same as the rich
pill poppers in the penthouse. The Clearinghouse of Hot takes
break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
(00:24):
Maller starts right now in the air everywhere and welcome
into the podcast Jojo for another additional The Fifth Hour
with Ben Maller and Danny g Radio Ready to attack monster.
(00:48):
That's what we're gonna do here, Danny Gee. And it's Sunday.
We have made it to another Sunday. And you know
what that means. Yeah, you get to play with sound effects.
That's right, because every time we do this Sunday thing,
it's let me tell you something, all right, it's it's
like an old Benny Hill thing. It's well running all
(01:10):
over the place. There as things that no, no, well,
I will guarantee we will not be all right. And
if we are, heads are going to roll. Heads will
absolutely roll, damn right. So let's get into the ring.
(01:33):
I think I've played enough sound bites now and Ohio. Aw,
please get us started. Ohio. Aw. It's alright, wonderful. I
(01:54):
loved Ohio al song and the talent show this week
that we had the Mallard pelluza I mentioned Ohio. We
play that song every week here on the Fifth Hour podcast.
First letter, let's see here you've got mail? All right, Yes,
we do have mail. The first message in on this
(02:14):
edition to the Fifth Hour comes to us from Kevin
in Rockford, Illinois. He says, it has finally been done.
I hiked up Quandary Peak and planted a new flag
made from a Buffalo Chicken pizza box Mount Mallard, and
he sent a photo here. He posted it on the
(02:34):
Facebook page Danny it's really cool. Let it be known
that since July, Quandary Peak, that's q U A N
d a r Y Peak right outside Breckon Ridge, Colorado,
is now Mount Mallard. And he then he goes over
(02:55):
the top. Here you're talking about giving me a big ego,
he says, named after the greatest sports talk coast, the
great Ben Well. Thank you, Kevin. Very nice of you
to do that, that you would go out of your
way there to litter on top of the mountain. In
my name, so somebody else will climb up there and
say who the F is that? But but thank you, Kevin. Congratulations.
(03:21):
That's a great accomplishment. And I am jealous. I've never
climbed up the top of a a mountain. I have
not done that. I'm gonna send you this photo, Danny.
I want you to want to you have arrived, by
the way, in your next contract negotiations or negotiations as
(03:42):
you would say with FSR, you need to show them
that picture. Yeah, and look how professionally done the the
the sign was. I mean that, that's like a sign
company made that, Dan. I just sent the picture over
to you. It's got the date there and it says
(04:02):
says Mount Mallard m A L L E er. Uh.
What's at the top there? I can't think that blue
hiking shoes. Yeah, those that's a good color. Blue. Got
some kind of yellow jacket. It looks like I can
see the guy's hand, Kevin's hand right there did cross
(04:24):
out something on the other half. But I'm not looking
at that, Danny. I'm looking at Mount Mallard right there.
Oh he crossed out Quandary peak. Oh see now it
makes sense. See you look at that. I'm glad I
sent that to you. I was like, I was looking.
I was like, what the helf is that? And it
says it's fourteen thousand, two hundred seventy two ft. Right
(04:44):
is that? I believe that's what he looked down there?
So beautiful photo. Holy cow, thousand, two hundred and seventy two.
How long are you allowed to stay there? If I
climbed a mountain, I would want to stay there for
like a week. I wouldn't want to get down. I'll
be like, I spent all my time comb up here
(05:05):
fourteen thousand, two undred seventy two ft. I'm gonna stay
here for a while. I'm not going anywhere. I went
up I think ten eleven thousand feet when I was
in Wyoming in Montana, and I thought that was high
up above sea level. Holy ship, Yeah, holy shit balls
for sure. Well, thank you, Kevin. I look forward to
your next hiking adventure. And where will he go next? Kevin?
(05:29):
As he goes to all the big peaks, will he
hit Mount Kilimanjaro? Will that be on the list? Who knows.
We'll live our lives to Kevin. A big fan of
the show from Rockford, Illinois. Next up on the mail bag.
Let's see here, who do we have? I got mail? Yeah,
I got mail. Yeah. Until ow from Longwood, Florida via Newark,
(05:55):
New Jersey rights in. He's got a sport. Oh question,
he says. I look at how low the Yankee batting
average is, and I wonder if they will quit hitting
in the playoffs they will face better pitching. Do you
think they will flounder again? So until I do have
my doubts about the Yankees. I think their their record
(06:16):
is inflated. But there's also the injury bug, which every
team has to worry about. But Aaron Judge made out
of glass, John Carlos Stanton also a guy that's injury prone.
They have that in their d n A. But I
will tell you on a positive note, I'll be Benny
bright Side. If you look at the batting average of
(06:37):
just about every team in baseball, it is embarrassing. They
don't even try to hit. They don't even play the contact.
And that's why if you have a couple of guys
that played a contact, I believe you have an advantage.
That's one of the reasons I like the Dodgers this
year is because trade Turner and Mookie Bets are guys
that can hit for power, but they'll also put the
(06:57):
ball in play, at least in Theory Braves last year, Danny,
the Braves had a bunch of They had a lot
of contact guys. He's hurt right now, but Chris Taylor
is like that for the Dodgers as well. Yeah, and
Justin Turner has been playing much better the last month
and a half. He's actually been a good player. He
was not a good player the first month of the season.
(07:19):
But yeah, I know, I tell us probably saying, hey, dummy,
I didn't ask about the Dodgers. I asked about the Yankees.
Uh about Nasty Nestor's crew. Yeah, you like that glove
that he had on there, solid solid. What do you
think the average batting averages in baseball this season? Danny?
(07:42):
I mean, let I got the numbers here. I'm gonna
stake here a right to forty nine. It's can't be
much higher than that, though, I'm trying to get it
up right here and having problems. Yes, Uh, the phrasing
on that was unfort Yes, all right, let's see here.
(08:05):
The average batting batting average in the professional baseball the
year two. I now have the right page up. Let's
see here. The average team batting average is two forty two. Okay,
all right. The Yankees are slightly above average. They're hitting
(08:25):
two six. The Dodgers are two fifty five. The top
hitting team the Rockies and the Blue Jays. That's this
is all these numbers at the All Star break, and
there their team batting average to sixty two and they're
leading baseball. The worst hitting team the Oakland Athletics, a
robust two eleven batting average for the Oakland f's not
(08:49):
a's fs. So good luck to the Yankees, a tillo,
thank you for this thing. Next up on the mail bag,
we say hello to Chris and Mary Cooke to Iowa.
He says, what amount is an appropriate gift for weddings?
Give a range from second cousin up to siblings, and
include friends. Also the for funerals, same question, how much
(09:13):
money is appropriate? So as far as weddings are concerned,
it depends on how far you have to travel to
the wedding. That's always the most important thing. If you're
going from a long way away, the gift gets smaller
and smaller and smaller and smaller because the gift is
you attended exactly, you're the gift. Unfortunately, also, if you
(09:37):
only talk to the person once a year or less,
the gift is relatively small because they won't remember you anyway,
you get something from your game room. Yeah, Usually what
you do is you go on the gift registry. If
they're like a second cousin, and you'll go on. If
(09:58):
you're not close to him, you go like on targets,
say all right, what's fifty bucks? Boom done? Maybe a hundred,
but I wouldn't go too crazy on that. What about you, Danny,
do you have a pay scale on weddings and funerals? Funerals, um,
you know, for weddings. I think you're right. I mean,
if it's somebody close to you and you didn't travel
(10:20):
a long ways, then I would spend a couple hundred bucks.
But somebody that you barely talked to, like for instance,
I'm thinking of a wedding I went to a couple
of years ago, and on their registry, I noticed that
they were loading up on games and stuff like that
for their game room. So I went to Barnes and
Nobles and found like this really cool Stranger Things board
(10:43):
game and I knew both of them loved that show,
so I got that it was kind of unique to them.
And so I think just put some thought into your gift. Okay, yeah,
for sure, for sure absolutely, Uh, thank you for that though,
Chris and the funeral thing. Yeah, I've been to a
bunch of funerals. I don't recall having to write a
check at the funeral though? Did I miss that? And I?
(11:05):
What am I a bad person? Was? I don't do gifts.
I guess some people do flowers and will bring dishes
for like a pot luck maybe afterwards. Yeah, it's usually
been in lieu of flowers. You can donate money. Uh.
In fact, one of the last funerals I attended, they
(11:26):
they asked for to like buy books for kids that
didn't have books. So we did some of that and
bought some books and and whatnot. But I don't recall said, hey,
can you cut a check? And all I don't I
don't remember that. Next up, very morbid from Chris in Marraccata, Iowa.
Thank you for the morbid. Take appreciate that. The next
(11:50):
up on the mail bag come back it's sign for now,
I'll call Jennifer and Richmond Virginia. Jennifer a very nice
performance in the Talent Show. She was one of the
early participants. She says, Hey, Ben in Danny G. In
your driving experience, are you a believer in turning off
(12:12):
the air conditioning in order to get better acceleration? I
swear this makes a difference for me, or at least
for my sturdy old nineties seven camera. That's impressive. You've
got a twenty five year old car, You're still driving
around and still getting it done. It's a good job
by you. Uh. Jennifer also says, Danny G. Do you
have any eligible bachelor friends that don't cook in the kitchen?
(12:38):
But you know that thing you said last week? I
got Jennifer's attention there, Danny, you pointed out that you
do not have the cooking gene, but you do have
a cooking gene in another room. Yeah. So she she
apparently would like to go out with one of your friends, Danny.
So if you have anybody available, Jennifer is willing to travel,
(13:01):
I believe so who me? And as far as the
air conditioning thing, I don't know. I guess it depends
how old your car is. I think that's more of
a myth. I don't know. I don't. I don't really
pay much of David's hot I got the A C on.
Supposedly it helps your gas mileage. I do, yeah that
I've heard. She says, acceleration though the car. Yeah, I'm not.
(13:23):
I don't know about that. I have not heard that,
but I guess an older camera maybe it would make
a difference. And I have heard that even the gas
thing is not that. That's not even the case any nowadays,
the way they make cars, it doesn't help you much
with gas mileage. Yeah, you're you're screwed either way, and
might as well get the cold air blown on you, exactly,
(13:46):
all right. Next up is our body, Adrian in the
Mile High City. You've got mail, Yes, Adrian, great family man.
He's the guy that wanted the cruise. Remember last week
he has the travel log part two. In the mail back,
he says banded Danny G. Yes, Danny G is correct.
We paid a hefty rate to book the cruise, including,
(14:09):
or included, rather in the booking is all of the
food options on the ship. Water, lemonade, iced tea, and
coffee are included. There are separate drink packages for soda
and alcoholic beverages. All right, fair enough, I'll be okay
with lemonade and water tearing the camel's ass up. Yeah, anyway,
(14:33):
Adrian says we had four ports of call during the
eight day Caribbean cruise. Key West, Florida was the first
part we arrived at, and Adrian giving the travelog updates
to his family and I. His family and I ate
at a local restaurant. They're called Pincher's Crab Shack, the
(14:54):
Fresh Key Lime Pie, and my Peach Cobbler lives. He's
sent me a picture here. It looks pretty good. I
gotta have a piece or two. If you ever visit
Key West. I would like to go to Key West.
I've heard wonderful things about Key West, that it's just
a cool place to hang out. People go there to
get away from just kind of society, if you will.
(15:15):
But it was it was that where Earnest Hemingway. Is
that where he hung out in Key West? Oh? Yes,
I think Jimmy Johnson lives there. Isn't that where Jimmy
they I'm talking about the football version of Jimmy Johnson,
old cowboy coach. I think he lives there. And Mike
Leach when he was between coaching jobs, the Pirate Mike Leach.
(15:36):
I believe he lived there as well. So there's been
some interesting cats that I've and not that I know them,
but I've dealt with them off and on over the
years that have have gone there. Here, and Adrian says, uh,
did I mentioned they walked? They walked to the southern
most point in the continental US marker. The other three
ports of call where the Bahamas in the Bahamas, Freeport,
(15:59):
half Moon Bay, and the capital city of Nassau. Now
he said half half Moon K. But I think he
meant half Moon Bay. I've never have you ever heard
of half Moon K. Yeah, I've never heard of uh,
says freeport and half moon Uh. He said half moon
(16:19):
K again, so maybe that's maybe that's it. It's gotta
be because half Moon Bay is California's Oh there you go.
That's right. So I just think half moon half moon
K C A Y. I think that's how you say it.
Says they were beautiful and we enjoyed the white sand
and clear blue water at the beaches. Absolutely. Why I've
never been to Have you ever been to the Bahamas,
(16:40):
I've never been there. I've been to the Bahamas one time?
Is it worth the trip? Is it that much better
than Hawaii? Or I just didn't care for the food
there in the Bahamas? What's wrong with the food? That's
wrong like a bunch of jerk chicken, and there wasn't
a lot of flavor. It was bland to me. Got you,
Adrian continues to giving the review years is that those
(17:02):
places were beautiful. We enjoyed the white sand and clear water,
a blue water. The water was beautiful. Nasa, though, was
dirtier than I expect. And when my family and I
were browsing around the shops, Adrian points out, I was
offered the booker sugar three different times by some of
the locals outside the shops, bunch of hookers and cocaine.
(17:26):
I respectfully declined and continued shopping with the family. As
soon as that plane landed and we got out to
the driver, the driver offered us every drug you could imagine.
It was like it was like a buffet for drugs.
Um and then and then as they drive you through
(17:47):
their ship towns, you're starting to get a guilt trip.
You're feeling really bad, like, man, I am coming here
as a spoiled as American to vacation in their water. Meanwhile,
are driving buying realizing they don't have trash pickup in
their towns. They's just trash all over the sides of
the roads. Beautiful resort on the water and it's hidden
(18:12):
away from the craft that's in town. Yeah, my brother
went to Costa Rica and he had a similar experience
to what you were talking about. Where they land You
land at the airport. Airport's okay, they put you on
a bus and you drive through poverty. Were the people
that are serving you the all inclusive food and then
and they they can't even afford to eat themselves, and
(18:34):
then they drop you off at the resort and all
that stuff. So yeah, yeah, and they have the resort.
I got this weird vibe from the people working there,
like where they did it with a smile in good
customer service, but it was like fuck you spoiled American.
That kind of vibe interesting, all right, Adrian says. Carnival
Cruise Lines was celebrating his fiftieth birthday, so they had
(18:55):
all kinds of deals and giveaways on board the Carnival
The Dream. Our family had a great time at the
water park on Boarday says, the three kids love the
water slides. Absolutely gotta love the water slide on that now. Lastly,
Adrian says, some sort of medical emergency happened to someone
on board the ship while we were somewhere off the
(19:17):
Florida coast. A US Coastguard helicopter was sent out to
meet our ship and transport the sick person to a
Florida hospital. It's pretty wild to have a chopper hovering
directly over the ship. He took a photo of it.
Here Danny Geese, I'm looking at the photo of it,
he says, I'm thinking of throwing down some money. Also
on the Dodgers, Ben and Danny Geese Dodgers here to
(19:40):
win the Fall Classic. They looked tough through the first half.
It does make me a little nervous that I liked
him in that spot. Put a guarantee on it though,
And he says training camp is almost here and are
we here in the Rocky Mountains? Cannot wait to see
Mr Unlimited and company cool. Thank you Adrian for the
(20:04):
detailed travel log, and I love the fact that you
wore the Ben Maller shirt uh in the in the
some a couple of photos there, and you're your son,
one of your kids there has the old Bronco logo,
which I like. I like the old logo more than
the new logo. So I enjoyed that hat that he
had on. Next up, Yes, Next up we go to
(20:28):
Kevin in Kansas. On the mailbag. He says, Dear Ben
and Danny g Here in western Kansas, it's county fair time.
It's a big deal in these parts. Is there anything
like this and so cal if So? Did you ever participate?
Maybe a favorite fair food? Well, yeah, Kevin, I talked
about this a little bit in the Saturday podcast. But
we have the San Diego Fair, San Diego County Fair,
(20:52):
the Orange County Fair, the Los Angeles County Fair, which
are pretty much all the same. Really, right, isn't the
same group that just moved from city to city. You're
right about that. San Diego just looks prettier. Yeah, yeah,
it's beautiful there in San Diego. But yeah, we have
this similar setup and the Carneys come to town. I
(21:14):
was amazed. I was at the Orange County Fair last weekend.
How how many people they have working they're considering it's
so hard to get people to work like they must
be paying them decent amounts of money because every one
of those stands, and there were hundreds of them, serving food,
every kind of food you could possibly want, and they
had people working there doing their thing. People basically go
(21:34):
to get fat. Yeah, and it's what kind of weird
concoction there was this year? I saw a kool Aid
chicken sandwich were they mixed kool aid like the powder
on the on the you know, cool they can be. Yeah,
who's saying they want that? By the way, Who's like,
(21:55):
I need some cool aid with my fried chicken that'll
complete me? I don't, but somebody came up with it.
And yes, ken enjoy give us a report on the food.
I want to know what it's like in your neck
of the w I've heard amazing things about some of
those Midwestern county fairs, like in Iowa, Minnesota, Wisconsin. Supposedly
(22:15):
they're just amazing. I'm gonna go out on a limb
here that you've never actually gone on any of the
rides at the fair and what what what do you
what are you referencing, Danny, I'm saying, I kind of
feel like you went there at a graze on food
and you just like thumbed your nose at the rides,
like I'm not getting on these freaking makeshift rides. No,
(22:35):
I do not get on rides at the fair. I occasionally,
if I feel like being a sucker, I will play
some of the Carney games that I know we're all rigged,
you have no chance of winning, and so I will
do that occasionally. But do you guys look at the exhibitions. Yeah,
that's something I never did until recently, now that I'm
(22:57):
getting older and now I'm like, oh, I'm interested in
the card editing expo. Yeah, the guard. I can get
a hot top. Wait a minute, everyone needs a hot top.
Who doesn't need a hot top? Come on? Please? Yeah?
Next up? John in Northern Colorado, that's right, he says.
(23:18):
Would you consider writing an e bike? Yes? Absolutely, John,
I've looked into getting any bike, but the premise I'm
a big guy. The ones they sell that are pretty
cheap at costco I would not fit on. And the
ones that I would fit on that go pretty far
and I would use a lot are too expensive, so
(23:40):
I need the price to come down. But I would
absolutely do that. Would you be an e bike guy,
Danny G I actually have one, are you do? Look
at you are any bike guy who knew? Yeah, I mean, unfortunately,
where I moved to on the border of San Fernando
Valley in Ventura County, there's a ton of hills. It's
pedal assist, so it's not like it's just gonna take
(24:02):
you up the hill by itself. So that's the problem
right now is I need a flatter surface. So what
the Tinderoni and I have been looking into is a
bike rack for one of the vehicles we have. That
would be good. Yeah, we need one. They're expensive, but
it's worth it. Yeah, So the the e bike thing,
I'd be all about it, and I would likely use
(24:23):
it a lot. It's cheating, but it's fun. Why not
the one I got. It's cheating, but it's not total cheating.
You still gotta you still got a pedal well to
get it going. There's somewhere they're almost like motorized mopeds
or something like almost like fast mopeds. Yeah, yeah, like
I'd be into that. I just like pretend people would like, oh,
(24:46):
he's on a bike, but then they wouldn't really realize
that he's not really on a bike, he's just driving.
Like you might as well be on a moped or
a motorcycle or whatever. Next up is a John John,
one of our regular podcast contributors, and he's just mooining
the army here Danny of guys complaining about the stream.
(25:07):
He says, another thing, they run ads that aren't in
sync where fs are. He says, uh, there's a two
minute delay. So he listens to his home station, John's
in St. Louis. So he listens to the fan five nine.
He says, it's only about a five or ten second delay,
and the ads run in line with yours, So I'm
(25:29):
sticking with the five ninety stream over I Heart. Well, however,
you get the show. John, We thank you for listening.
And I have heard rumors that they are working on
that to solve the I Heart Fox Sports Radio stream issues. Yeah,
we'll see if that actually happens or not. Hopefully does
(25:50):
sooner than later and everyone can come back to the
I Heart app and all those other people that left
that don't come back, well, we'll just tell him to
the funk up. Okay, shut the funk up exactly. Ulysses
from Virginia right since, says Ben and Dannigy in reference
to the tour de France and the fact that only
(26:11):
a handful of Americans are in the race, but none
in the top ranks. Don't you think it's time we
embrace Lance Armstrong for the years he made us proud
to be Americans and stop the nonsense with his cheating
scandals when the fact is almost all the top ranked
(26:33):
bikers of that era we're also caught in doping scandals themselves.
I think I read somewhere that six of the top
ten finishers during the early two thousands were also busted
for using drugs, but no one wants to talk about that.
I say, Lance had to compete against the best, which
included being the best at juicing up, says Ulysses. Yeah,
(26:57):
so this is the defense that the cheating as strows
have made that we also heard in the steroid erape
back in Bonds and McGuire and so that erae baseball.
It's the everybody's doing it defense doesn't work, And I'll
(27:17):
tell you why it doesn't work. You just explain why.
If you get pulled over for speeding, there are probably
what a thousand other cars going probably as fast as
you were, if not faster, and you go to court,
you said listen, judge. Yeah, I was speeding, but everyone
else was speeding. Awesome, so I should not have to
(27:39):
pay this Fine, what do you think the judge is
gonna do exactly just because everyone else is doing If
everyone else is committing murder, you I can committing murder
everyone else is doing. What do you want me to do? Now,
that's not how it works. Okay, come on, you are
fake anyway. Next up Pierre in West Warren. He says, Narrowcasting,
(28:05):
not far from East Brookfield. Also Narrowcasting, which was the
birthplace of Connie Mac a new reference for you because
fur dog is apparently triggered by Muffett McGraw, according to Pierre,
who says again he's a real close to the birthplace
of Connie Mac. He says, Ben, how long before fast
(28:28):
food joints go to full carry out or vending machine
style pick up? More and more places have apps or
order kiosk, allowing people to skip the line unless people
seem to want to work in general, especially at these
type of jobs. Well, that's a that's a tough one.
(28:49):
We're gonna go to vending machines for a big mac.
I don't I don't see that happening. What do you
think that do you think we're getting to that point
with the fast food where it's just gonna be carry
out only you can eat there. Hopefully not. I mean
some of these fast food restaurants have stepped up their
game in the past couple of years, like really raised
that wage up, at least for their restaurant. I mean,
(29:11):
we go into the Panda Express here where I live
and they have a sign on the window where they're
starting people at like seventeen fifty an hour for fast food.
That's not bad. I mean when we were kids, you
couldn't make that sort of money working in fast food.
It was the Bronze Age, but it was like five
bucks an hour or less back in the back in
(29:34):
the day. Thank you, Pierre. He also sent a copy
of a podcast. He said, here's a link to my
favorite dead podcaster when he interviewed the also deceased Jay Thomas,
and it's from Gilbert Gottfried's podcast. I'll have to check
that out at some point. Mike from Fullerton also known
(29:55):
as fer Dog Rights, and he says, I'd like to
start by apologizing two Pierre in Springfield. I should not
have told Pierre that I'm going to shoot myself if
I have to hear this muppet McGraw intro again. Wow,
fer Dog, is that what led to Pierre's reaction? I
wondered what happened to Alfhai alien o Piner because it's
(30:18):
very bizarre, Danny that all of a sudden He's like, listen,
um from a different place. I'm not from from Springfield,
mass And now we know the rest of the story.
What a what a punk move by fur Dog if
that's true? Man, he says. My question is do you
guys hate TV shows featuring puppets as much as I do,
(30:39):
Whether it's the ugly puppets on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood or
that dumb alien alf I hate them all. How much
chap here will you be when all these shows get canceled?
All right? So Mike's just busting balls here fur Dog
against Pierre slash Alpha Alien Miner. That's that's pretty funny, man.
(31:02):
I I'm with him on the Mr. Rogers thing. When
he did the puppets on that show, it creeped me
the funk out. I hated those puppets on the Mr.
Rogers show, and I'm gonna go against the grain here.
I didn't like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. I just didn't like
that show. Not even when I was a little little kid.
I my mom would turn it on and I'd be like,
I don't like this. Was it the Daniel, the Striped Tiger, lady,
(31:28):
weird voices, and even as a little kid, I thought
this is low budget? It was pretty little budget. Yeah,
I didn't like Mr McFeeley, like kind of low budget shit,
or they push it on. Did you you never went
on the trolley that goes to make believe you didn't?
At least I thought Big Bird was real and Stuffle
(31:50):
Up Agains would come on screen, I was like stuff.
I mean, there was some kind of uh, you know,
quality and value in the Sesame Streets set. But Mr
Rogers it was like they weren't even trying. They're like, man,
these little kids. Yeah, I watched Mr. Rogers Neighborhood because
you know, there wasn't much on when I was growing up.
(32:11):
Danny and so I remember I did not like the
puppets much on that show. I did like when they
they would go and let's see how they make chocolates,
you know, or something stupid like that. That kind of
stuff I was into, but they didn't do too much
of that. But I have not watched an episode in
a while. Last time I saw Mr. Rogers was on,
there were a bunch of documentaries I think it was. Yeah,
(32:33):
there was one movie and then one documentary. Both were popular. Yeah.
Fer Dog also says he has a list, a Fifth
Hour Interview wish list. Let's see how many these are
actually possible. All Right, he says, Petro's Papadakis, that's possible.
You can definitely make that happen. Matt money Smith, we
could make that happen. Fred Rogan, I don't think that's
(32:56):
gonna happen. Me and Fred had a falling out years ago.
Uh yeah, we made up, but I don't think we're
like buddies or anything like that. I don't know. I'm
fine if he wants to do it, but I don't
think he'll do it, he says Rodney Pete. I don't
really know Rodney. I don't know if Rodney would do it.
Maybe though, Adam Scott, the golfer, he says, Roger Lodge, Oh, yeah,
(33:20):
Sports Lodge. We can get him one. Mr Anaheim, Gooby,
Mark Goobaza. Well, sure, Google is part of the Fox
Sports Radio Alumni Association. Tim Salmon, he wants to see
for Dog. I don't have a connection to Tim Salmon,
he says. Adam Scott the Actor. I see what he
did there. I'm sure Adam Scott the Actor is gonna
(33:43):
come on podcast the day after Never Chris Rose, what
you get, Chris, and Chris is part of the Fox
Sports Radio Alumni Association. And Arnie Spanning. We've already had
Arnie on the podcast. So Arnie has been on the
arenay on again at some point. But those are the
guys that for Dog would like to have on the podcast.
(34:07):
Very realistic. And then there were some names that were
completely unrealistic. Alright, next up on the mail bag, let's
see you Neil in the real Miami Rights. And he says,
dear mad hatter of sports Chatter, given that we only
retain of what we hear, it's always good to hear
(34:29):
all your nicknames over and over again, at least once
a month. Now. The well, the customer is always right there, Jesus. Well,
no no no no, no, no no go Jesus. Jesus
is not involved in this, but the customer is always right,
and so if it is involved when you do this,
(34:49):
because half the listeners scream and die. No, no, no,
The listeners say, give me more, give me more, give
me more. I love that content. So I am known,
among other things, as the spin master of misinformation, the
(35:13):
bannering broadcaster Beethoven, basic curmudgeon of commentary, Chasm of sarcasms,
Are of Zany, the dark night of weeknights, sports radio,
mogul of mischief, Benny, the brazen King of zing. You
pay me five thousand dollars, I'll endorse a game magazine.
(35:34):
No drops needed, Danny. People love the name Moneyball Mallard,
Who Benny the Bopper, facetious Fox, No, no, that okay?
Sulting of insulting, the shaman of schadenfreude, jumping Jack of wisecrack,
(35:58):
insight of over night medicine. Man Mallard name Bob of negativity,
Sage of outrage, the pinnacle of cynecal Prince of preposterous,
professor of propaganda, his are of hyperbole, and the mad
(36:22):
hatter of sports chatter. Now dumber for having listened to it.
You like a baseball player with the positions and notes
in your back pocket, Just pull out your nickname anytime
you need them. Listen, it's a photograph your memory like
Cowboy John Brand Unless I don't thank you to the
real Neil. He then says, after demanding the nickname roll Call,
(36:48):
he says, I am wondering the over under on. Uh,
you have more nicknames or hats in your collection? He says,
I've counted forty one of the via my social media.
He then sends a ven diagram. Here Danny Neil from
the Real Miami sends a diagram of every hat that
(37:10):
he has seen me wear on those YouTube videos. Says, uh,
he's got big blue m l A Dodger hat, be
in cursive, Wrigley Field hat, orange black b for the
Baltimore Orioles. I do not have an Orioles at. That
is a Baker's Field Blaze hat, So it's not an
Oriols hat. People confuse that Kentucky Clippers, he says. A
(37:32):
hat with a big A on it. That's the Arkansas
hat that Blake and Arkansas sent very nice big P
is that Patriots? Uh No, it's not pages Georgia Bulldogs.
I don't have a Georgia Bulldogs hat. Big A Athletics.
I don't think I have an a sat saddleback college
(37:54):
and he goes through all of these things. I don't
have time to read all of them. There's hats asked,
how did Neil have the time to do this? I
guess he just jotted it down every day. In the
video popped up and he's like, Okay, he didn't notice
the Flamingo Club hat. Where you can get the Mallard
Fowler in Kansas that's available to you. UH university football hat,
(38:18):
my old high school football hat that I occasionally wear.
That's impressive. Meal and I have more hats than nicknames.
To answer the question, I have more hast the nicknames,
he says, I noticed, you may or may not wear
some more other than others than that. He says, is
there any rhyme or reason's tracking the rotation of the cops? Yes? Yes,
(38:43):
he wants to know if there's any rhyme or reason
to the selection for that day and not really football season.
I usually wear the NFL shield cap when we do
something football related at the end of the week or
something like that. So I'll do that at or on
Sunday in the Monday, and then it was like the
(39:03):
NBA Finals, I'll dust off the NBA logo hat or
if it's a big day in baseball, where the MLB shield.
But other than that, let's see what I haven't worn
in a while. Let me change it up a little bit. Uh.
Day to day, I wear the Brooklyn Dodger hat more
than any hat. What's more interesting? Where do you keep
all these damn hats? Oh? I've got like bags and
(39:24):
bags as this hat. I wore this hat this week day.
And you can see that that's uh oh yeah, Washington
Lawn Service. Yeah, that's from our buddy ed in spoke Can.
He gave me that hat when I met him in Seattle,
So I wear that hat. It's kind of a cool logo,
like it's just someways got the state outline of Washington
and then the name of his business in there. So
(39:47):
that's cool. Pretty neat. You do look like a lawnmower.
How dare you? Cliff from Nashville rights, And he says,
Ben and Danny g When driving and searching for an
unfamiliar street or address, do you turn the radio down
when you find when you think you're your clothes, Oh yeah,
yeah yeah, and when you need to concentrate to back up.
(40:11):
And I don't do that. I don't do that. You
don't the volume down so you can concentrate on the road. No,
because I usually have my map thing on the audio
in the car, so if I turn it down, I
will not hear the final instruction. I don't have the
slick backup camera okay, manual stick shift, so I have
(40:32):
to back up like an O g old school. Yeah,
I got you, Yeah, I have the backup came. Although
it was broken. We got that fixed. So knock on
thing that works in that car. Yes, the car has
got some other issues. Our last one from balls fan
Jimmy from Big Orange Country. Since for both of you,
(40:54):
where did you take your wife on your first date?
And how long did it take to get a second? Well,
Danny's in the process of getting married. So I met
my wife at a restaurant in Pasadena. Actually was a
movie theater. I supposed to go see a movie. I
didn't go see a movie, ended up eating some finger
(41:14):
foods and drinking some cocktails at a bar. Ended up
seeing her pretty quickly after, like it didn't didn't have
to wait that long. We were both in into each other,
so that worked out pretty well. What about your Dan
was this where did we meet or where was our
your first date? And how long did it take for
your second date? Got you? So our first date was
(41:34):
at my crib. Oh yeah, lah, yeah, I did a
very bored okay on my dining table, and UH had
a nice French liqueur and poured her shots. And at
first she was like, hey, this is strong, and I
called her a woofs and she looked at me and
(41:56):
she was like, is that a challenge, And so she
started drinking it and yeah, so I got her nice
and French liquored up, and you you realize that she's competitive.
She's super competitive, because she was like, don't call me
a wos. And then the second date, we went to
Santa Barbara to get some fish tacos there by the water.
(42:18):
Oh cool. Yeah. And it was just a week later,
all right, So you don't have to wait very long either,
I got you. Yeah, so that the rules of like
you gotta wait like you. I don't know that that's
still a thing in the dating game these days. You
gotta wait, you gotta wait, you gotta wait a long time,
you know, kind of stupid. I think people have realized
that if you like somebody, just tell him you like
(42:40):
them and just go on the next day. I'm glad
to hear that because I hated those games, Like you
go on a date with somebody and they'd be like, well,
they were like, yeah, I gotta wait. Make him seem
like I'm not that interested in all that stuff. Well,
if I think you're not interested, I think you're not interested.
You know what I'm saying. Right after they leave the date,
send them seven five text messages immediately. Well that's the
(43:04):
way of the world, right, text messages for the roof.
All Right, we gotta get out of here on that.
It is the end of another successful weekend. Text to
Charles Davis again if you did not hear that on
the Friday podcast, Our guy Charles always entertaining. We loved him.
We worked at Fox for so long. Now he's at CBS,
(43:25):
but he still was very gracious with his time and
I love the conversation. Some great ideas talked about relegation
in college football, which I thought was pretty interesting and
the possibility that could actually happen. Uh, and then also
just some NFL chatter and sounds like Charles has quite
the story to tell about going from Fox to CBS.
(43:46):
But he's not quite ready to tell the story. Yeah,
I love the e A sports story he told too.
That was pretty cool. Yeah, the voice of Madden. He
went into detail how long does it take to bring
the Madden Game to life? And he also mentioned over
the years, and you heard this if you listen to
the interview of doing the Madden Game, who's recognizing like
(44:08):
the players that recognized, Hey, you're the guy from the
Madden Game. His answer, I thought was pretty surprising what
he said. So anyway you can hear all that. And
what do you have going on here today, Danny? Before
you say, before you said, I am on my way
this afternoon and to have some fun with Covino and
Rich at the FSR studios. And then right after that
(44:31):
the show right before yours, Ben your boy Arnie Spaniard
with Chris Plank. Oh like fans, right, Dolphins are gonna
go seventeen Steve Kerr. I went to high school with
Steve Kerr. I mean it's Steven super Ball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
and uh, Arnie last weekend told me that the Deshaun
(44:51):
Watson news was gonna come out, So I am still
waiting for that though, but he told me it was
gonna happen, like a week ago. I'm waiting. Maybe it'll happen, maybe,
maybe it Anyway, thank you, Danny, have a great rest
of your Sunday. I'll be back tonight in the Magic
Radio Box as well. Eleven pm in the West on Sunday,
two am in the East on Monday morning. Either way,
(45:12):
I'll be there for four hours blabbing away and we'll
catch you then, Osta Pasta, I gotta murder, I gotta
go
Host
Ben Maller
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