Puggles

On today's episode Graham talks about a feud happening in our building and more!

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Happy wild thoughts to day. Yeah, my thoughts day, wild thoughts.
That's right, dude, I've beenhaving so many mild thoughts about my wife
lately. Really yeah, just likehell of mill. Now the kids are
back in the house, like,yeah, they were gone for a week.
Yeah wild to Miley did not enjoyany of that time. We went
out to dinner and drinks twice duringthe week, which is very rare.

(00:22):
Nope, not once, not once. Wow? Is that that's what happens
when you get married. Turns outwhen you're an old married couple, it
doesn't matter if your kids are runningout. You're just like an old married
couple. I guess, like that'swhat we are. Wait, do you
want to talk about the war that'sbrewing here? And I Hurt Radio San
Francisco, Dude, major drama,major drama. Okay, So we've got

(00:43):
a new boss. A lot ofpeople that listen to the show probably heard
or old boss Mark from time totime. And anyways, he got a
new job offer with iHeartRadio, butin New York. Now he's Crystal's boss
again. If people that remember Crystal, he moved to New York and he's
like, fuck you guys, I'mout of here. I'm over this place.
And so then he left. Thenwe got a new boss. Dan.
He's from like he was most recentlyat some stations in Atlanta. Right,

(01:07):
yes, okay, so Dan's knewhere. He moved nice guy moved
here with his family, you know, with his wife across the country living
in San Francisco. He's getting settledin, getting to know his way around
the office, meeting everyone. He'sonly been here a couple of weeks,
right, And the other day heI was not standing on in the hallway
and he's like in a little bitof a confrontation with this guy Marcus,

(01:32):
who works in the building as well. And Marcus, I think thinks that
he's the refrigerator hall monitor for thecompany of Refrigerator, because what he had
done was, look, you're supposedto write your name on whatever you put
in the fridge. That's there's signsposted, you know, write your name
on your food and throw it out, and there's a big warning sun anything
that's not labeled, we'll get thrownout on Fridays. They never do that.

(01:56):
Refrigerator just fills it. It's gross. But Marcus over here thinks that
he's the refrigerator hall monitor for whateverreason, Like he's the guy that's supposed
to monitor things. And so hespotted a tupperware full of lasagna in there,
and he just threw it away becausethere was no name written on it.
Well, new boss Dan was like, my mom, not my mom,

(02:16):
my wife. My wife made thatlasagna for me. I brought it
for his lunch that day. Hejust threw it away. He didn't get
to eat it that day because ithad gotten thrown out because he didn't write
his name on it. Like,I'm not, Like, it is not
your job to go around throwing awaypeople's stuff. Thank you. It's not

(02:39):
your title, it's not in thejob description. How angry would you be
if you had brought some lasagna?You're looking forward to eating this at lunch.
You're just starving. You go inthere, it's not there, can't
find it. You look in thetrash. Can someone have thrown it out?
Well, Matt, one thing Idon't play with is my food.
I think i'd punch somebody. Iwould cry first, Yeah, I definitely.
Have you ever been so hungry youcried? I have? Yeah,

(03:00):
yesterday in the day before and theday before in the day, really hungry
lately. No one time I gota pizza and I dropped it. Oh,
I cried, I was so hungryto see your pizza just flop onto
the ground. Was something like thatone time in our old studio, you
spilled that Santa Fe salad flying everywhere, the entire salad brand new. She

(03:21):
just mixed it up and do thewhole thing dumped on the ground for weeks.
It was not good. But likeI don't know why. For a
good amount of time there I wasdropping every every food item I touched,
I would drop and spill and Icould not get it into my mouth.
And there are none of those things. You can't pick something up that wants
like a salad that's been dressed,and it hits carpet, it's done.

(03:42):
There's nothing, nothing salvageable. Idon't care. There's a zero second rule
on that, because like pubes willstick right too, definitely. And the
radio station carpet just covered in pube. Don't ask that, we don't know.
It just is everywhere on this carpet. Wait, we do need to
talk about how somebody left their lubein the studio. We're gonna come back
to that first the fridge feud that'sbrewing here. So then Dan, now

(04:05):
I'm just hearing about a lot ofthis secondhand. And then I think he
was so offended that somebody threw outhis lasagna that he went and stole something
from their studio. And I don'tknow if it was in retaliation or if
it was like good natured fun.Dan's a nice guy, good nature,
but like we all have a limit, and that limit is somebody throwing out
your fucking that your wife made youhomemade food, Yeah, homemade food.

(04:30):
Well, he took something to theirs. Now they've retaliated by going into his
office. Retaliate again when you're theone that started it. I agree,
like that should be. Now we'reeven, And I still think they he
could do a few more things tothem to make up for the lost clod.
They went into his office, hewasn't here, they wouldn't his closed

(04:51):
office, took like a little pieceof artwork that he had. I don't
know if it was like a littlepainting or something, and then one of
them took it home and put iton their toilet in their bathroom, like
like in the toilet, but likesitting on the taking the toilet as a
decoration. But still have you seenthose stuft Yes, too far, But
have you seen those like simulations ofwhat happens when you flush a toilet with

(05:13):
the lid open and like all likethe particles floating around that's all over the
germ plume that just rockets. Yeah, that went directly to that piece of
art and just stuck to it whenyou're sitting on the toilet, because yeah,
we've seen those animations of like thegerms going up into the air.
It looks like a fucking nuclear bombcloud going off in cloud When you do,
you, guys, flush while you'resitting on the toilet, because the

(05:35):
only way to come back that wouldbe to stand up close the lid,
hit the flush, and run outof the room screaming. That's the only
way you'd be safe from the germplume. But like, we all flush
while we're sitting on the toilet,right, I do both. You don't
ever flush while you're still sitting therecourtesy flush. I guess it depends,
but I do like closing the lid. So you do your You take a

(05:58):
shit, you you wipe, youthrow it in the trash can no not
amore? I've changed mya. Soyou wipe, fill up the toilet with
all that, then stand up,pull your pants up, hit the flush.
Oh, close the lid, hitthe flush, and walk out.
No, I'm courtesy flushing before anywiping happens. I'm sending that ship down
the Yeah. Yeah, sorry.So when you flush sitting down, is

(06:20):
the germ plume just blasting right upyour buttthole? Yes, but then it
bounces back, Oh, like ricochetis off your butt straight back down into
the toilet. But your your legsand your thighs are just getting coated in
ship germs. No, because it'sblocked. Why is it blocked? What
do you mean there's no when yousit on the toilet, there's no air

(06:42):
that can pass around any which way. I don't think so. Well,
you got a bigger butt than me. I don't think so. I'm in
danger of falling in. My buttis so small. I kinda hold onto
the sides, like so I don'tslip in there and have my butt don't
into the toilet. I guess itdoesn't happen to you. Well, I'm
just wondering because I don't think anyof us in the shower spend a lot

(07:04):
of times, like scrubbing our thighs, but really we should be because there's
been a pookino true cloud. Idon't this look bar soap makes its way
around my legs all parts, butlike I don't sit there like scrubbing off
all the ship turned. I justdidn't know that they were there. But
just because you can't see them doesn'teven they're not there right all? Right,

(07:25):
Now on to somebody that left theirlube in the studio. Yeah,
so I'm sitting here in the studio. Looks to my left studio loob.
There's like a little I don't knowwhat you would call it. I can't
believe you Selena is touching the lube. Well, because you know what it
looks like. So, my kidsuse a nebulizer, right, I have
an nebulizer at home, and thisis this little thing. I don't know

(07:46):
how to describe it. This iswhat their medication. It's mostly CBD,
a little bit of THC. Whatoh, they don't put that in the
neulation. No, no, nono, it's just like I'll beat all
and stuff like that. But itcomes like this little plastic things get to
twist off the cap and liquid andyou squeeze it into there. I thought
this was that, and I waslike, oh my god, did I
accidentally bring some medication? And Ipick it up and look at it.

(08:07):
It says refresh plus lubri can't Oh, it's like, so it's eye lube
here in the studio, and therumor is is that it's Angelina's. Oh,
Angelina's been jerking off her eyes.Yeah, how can you tell if
somebody's That's just what just told me. I don't know. How do you
know? I just said she gotLasik eye surgery. Oh really, Yeah,
so I think that's why she usedto talk about how she was terrified

(08:30):
of that this is a big step. But she also talked about how blind
she was for her Yeah, I'mcurious to know how that went. My
sister recently got it and his lifechanged. Dude, I would get it
in a heart beat. I wouldtoo. I feel like my vision is
going to go anywhere. You shouldhonestly consider it. You were glad.
How often do you jerk off?Your eyes go blind? If you do
it too much? That's what mymom said. Tell me, I'm just

(08:54):
you lose it. Yeah, butlike if you do it too much,
yeah, you'll go blind, youknow, I'm wait really, yeah,
that was the thing, like youjerk off too much that my mom didn't
tell me that that was an oldwife's tale that like you do that too
much, your loser vision. Ithink, so you could go to a
conductionary, go on over a dictionaryand find out. Yeah, I'm not
there yet. I think eventually Iwill when I'm older, But right now,

(09:18):
I just I've seen too many videosof like things that go wrong and
people just hating their life after.I mean, if you wait too long
when you get older, you're gonnastart losing your vision anyway. So you
might as well have like good visionnow. Yeah, I don't want to
wear glasses. I don't think Icould do that. Maybe, Oh no,
I can't do contacts. I'd ratherbut like the option of if I
got to wear contacts or I havethe laser's apps my eye for ten seconds,

(09:43):
I'll take the ten Yeah, you'rea laser. It's supposed to be
hell a quick now, right,They just going like that, They just
lub up your eyes to get towear these weird like goggle things for a
little bit. I think, yeah, but you're like ready the next day,
I think, I know, Ithink you walk out of there just
like, okay, get to go. It's just so weird, like you
wake up and you just see clearly. Yeah, how's that? Like it's
awesome? Nice, But I feellike that's gonna see all night. I

(10:07):
can see what I'm driving, Ican see what I'm reading. I can
just see. Yeah. I feellike it's gonna fall off a cliff though,
at some point, like both myparents now have glasses or and or
have had laser eye surgery, atsome point, you know, like they
had they had perfect vision and thenyou know, suddenly it goes away.
I'm worried that's gonna happen to me. So yeah, I think that's everyone
when they get older. Though gettingolder sucks, I know. I think

(10:28):
my worst fear is like getting kidnappedone date and they bring your glasses,
yeah, or like they take them, they take them off, and I'm
like, well, I can't howam I going to escape? Now?
I can't even see? So let'sjust hope that never happens. But why
did you touch the loops? Lena? You don't ever touch anybody's loop.
That's gross, well the outside,but it was okay, well, fine,

(10:50):
I'll put it back. It doesmoral to me. It looks more
like frontline flea and tick medicine.Is that what it comes into. It
comes into like a little thing andyou open it and you squirre something,
yeah after your dogs, like dotsor whatever. Yeah, yeah, and
then you just loop them up andjust start jerking them off. It's mild
thoughts. We're talking about Lasik eyesurgery. We had to throw something in

(11:13):
there. Would you guys ever jerkoff your pet? No? That is
just good if they looked really sadeither, But you know how dogs will
get like the lipstick or whatever.Uh huh, I like you thought about
No, no, j No,I know John who knows someone who said

(11:35):
that they know someone that this isthe story about. You just just just
know the story about that said thathe felt bad when that would happen to
his dog, like it's not theirfault and like it's not like he has
a girlfriend, and so he wouldlike help them, mean help them,
like jerk them off. No,I'm judging if anybody does that, I'm

(11:56):
judging. I can't talk to you, I can't see you the same.
I can't talk to you ever againgrows, but like what that's why?
Look, my dogs does not havea little red rocket because it's a she.
But sometimes she goes to town onthe pillows on our couch and like
is like humping away and I'm notgoing to stop her. Most people be
like, hey, stop doing that, But like, dude, I would

(12:16):
do you for that grows because becauseyou use that pillow. But like like
you said, like I feel badfor her, like she's not getting any
else. Go outside and do thaton something else. But you're not gonna
have to touch after. I don'tneed her rubbing her you know, her
vulva, pam her vulva on acactus outside when she's got a nice soft
pillow here that she wants to goto town outside I don't know. But

(12:37):
what is she gonna like on afi guess or something like I don't know,
Like rubbing her bush on a bushdoesn't sound very comfortable. I got
nice soft pillows here, go forit. That's disgusting. No, I
don't. In my house. Iencourage it. Here, get your growth.
Are those the pillows you give toyour guests? When you come sit
on my couch, you're gonna beleaning against one of those. I just

(12:58):
like, don't you think they needthat release? Just like your friends over
there jerking off his dog. Youknow, that was a story about it
was a little Bentley was looking likesad one day, like what am I
supposed to do with this thing?I'll help you. Let me get some
of that studio lube from Wild ninetyfour nine. We've got plenty of it.

(13:22):
That's why, like breeders and stufflike they're jacking off these dogs.
Yeah, they have to. Someof them, like the my cousins uh
used to breathe their pug and theywould send it. They would uh they'd
send it off to like you know, breeding camp or whatever, and it
would come back two weeks later,like really tired because it's just you go

(13:43):
in town. But pugs, likesome of those dogs like that, they're
too their legs are too short tobe able to like mount you know,
if they want to make a puggle, it's augagle pug. Yeah, whatever
they are, they couldn't, youknow, mount the slightly bigger dog.
Weird, So like they have todo stuff like that, like you know,

(14:03):
jam off and whatnot to get theyou know, so they could make
the baby win. Let me lookup a puggle. I've never seen a
puggle before. They're kind of cute. These are so ugly, Jesse,
you look at this Puggle's No Grammysshould be in like the World's Ugliest Dog
competition at the Solano County Fair.Are you kidding me? No name,

(14:28):
the name's cute like the name.Yeah, puggles, it's not cuter than
it actually is. You want tosnuggle with a Come on now, you
dog sham I'm not dog Jamie Hay. I love all dogs except for puggle.
Okay, fine, sorry puggle owners. All right, can we go
now? I'm sick. This isenough. Get out of here. By

(14:50):
my actual Siico literal, you havea gold yeah, and you're a sick
yeah. Okay, bye bye