January 6, 2026 • 15 mins
On today's episode we talk about crazy emergency room visits and the reasons for them.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Our first Wild Thoughts twenty.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Six sick It's here, it's happening, it's revamped. You guys
were rebranding. We're doing a whole new version of Wild Thoughts.
We are, No, we're not. I was just trying to
make it sound more exciting for people that are like,
oh my god, I've been waiting for weeks for you
guys to get back. Let's get the Wild Thoughts going.
And I was like, yeah, there's gonna be all kinds
of new features and new stuff we're doing.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I was, no, it's I think the same old sickery.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Oh it is, yeah, Okay, I don't.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
We keep saying we're going to try to clean it up,
but it somehow just devolves back into filth.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Because you guys are sick.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Anyways, Well, Graham, unless you have something nice and squeaky clean.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I don't. I have an article titled what did we
get stuck in our rectums? Last year? Because this is actually.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Tests ask Jess, what did you get stuck in yours?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Nothing? Thankfully, anything entering there? No, I love to ask that.
Never mind, never mind, take that, take that part out
of the podcast that cross the line. All right, This
is an article that compiled a bunch of data from
emergency room visits all across the country to find out
what people had to go to the er about because
they got something stuck in certain places. And surprisingly, this
(01:07):
list does not start with the rectum, you guys. This
one starts with the the weenness. Oh, there's a lot
of people that apparently stick things in there. Nothing. Nothing
sounds worse than that. As from a guy's perspective, I
cannot imagine this kind of pain. Because somebody got a
(01:28):
battery stuck in there. It didn't say what size, but
I'm picturing a C or a D battery what I
don't know. I don't know what size battery. Somebody had
an incident with some candle wax getting in there apparently.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh god, people, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Do you think they were like pouring it in there
or things got hot and steamy and some of it
accidentally they knocked over a candle. Next thing you know,
you've got hot wax inside your whee hole.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I hope it's that one.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Either way, it sounds terrible. Listen to this one. A
chess piece, Well, which one the queen?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Well, they're all does that.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Look like that's a pretty big one. I don't know.
It doesn't say but any of the chess pieces do
that doesn't fit? It doesn't go there can I.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Not that you would know, Graham, I'm assuming you've never
done this, obviously not, But like, is it stretch for
some guys? Like then why?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I don't know. It seems extremely painful, But I would
ask that about sticking things in all kinds of places,
but this seems like the absolute worst of all the
places that you could steal.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I mean, they wouldn't do it if it didn't feel
good to them, right, I guess if they have a fetish, yeah,
it would feel good to them, just.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Like the pain, like if they some sort of sicker.
I'll go through these next ones pretty quick. Two glass beads,
a pen, a pencil. Those are obvious. Those are obvious ones.
Not at the same time, those are separate incident? Why
pen one pen in the pennis and one pencil in
it a comb? Are you kidding me? This is not
(03:02):
two separate incidents. But somebody got apple stems stuck in
theirs and somebody got an apple core stuck in there.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Apple stems at least smaller.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
That makes sense. Doesn't make sense, but at least like
I could, like.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's an infect wouldn't it crush?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I hope they ate it way down to the like
way down, because otherwise how does it get in there?
A bobby pin I hope not bobby pin, paper clip,
spring screw staples, a thermometer. Somebody needs to check the temperature. Okay,
that's probably the most accurate place you can take your temperature,
right is on your wien Ski. Now listen to someone
(03:40):
explained this one to me.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Headphones, no, like like your like the string.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
One like your little guy wanted to listen to some
music like you're oh no, they fell out, a guitar
string and an Alan wrench. Now an Alan wrench.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
That one is.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Like a little that little l shape wrench that they
give you to assemble. Ikea furniture so that one that
seems incredibly painful. All right now to you ladies. These
are the list of items that people had to visit
the er for because they got stuck in there. Jeans,
a holiday bell that does seem like a good holiday
(04:19):
party trick. You know, you're like, he's like, where's she
where's ding ding ding coming from?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
A lighter.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
That seems maybe like one of those long barbecue ones. Why,
I don't know, aluminum foil.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
A lot of foil.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Someone's like, hey, wrap that up and save it for
me for later. That's a weird one.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Right, was it like was there drugs in there or something?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Popsicle stick? Someone's just trying to give himself there on
pap smere.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I assume did they do that eat the popsicle?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Do they do a pap smere with a popsicle stick?
I know nothing about the I just imagine them like
reach around in there with that stick thing.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
No, no, no, it's more of like like a Q tip.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Oh it's that big long swap. Okay, not the popsicle stick,
a plastic orca.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Wait back to the popsicle stick.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Did it start out as a popsicle but then it
like ate the popsicle and then it was just a
popsicle stick?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Great question. That's how I picture it. Someone sticks a
rocket pop up there and you know you're just left
with the stick. Oh. Interesting. What's your favorite popsicle, Jess? Oh,
astro pop is? What are they called rocket pops or
astro I thought rocket astronaut.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Pop Those are good. I also like the watermelon one
that has the little seeds.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
The candy seats. I'm interested.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Was it her children?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
And they're all popsicles from children?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
But like that's why toddlered like begs for those ones,
like the watermelon ones.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Anyways, going because a plastic.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Orca orca we know is a killer whale, a little
toy killer whale. Someone got stuck in their vagine. That
does sound like the little fin sticking out sounds uh sharp? Okay.
This one is a quote from an incident. This woman
inserted two diamond rings into her vagine while at a
party in fear they would be stolen. So it was like, oh, shoot,
(06:00):
I don't want somebody to do my jewelry. And she
stuck the diamond rings in there and then they got stuck.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Why would she think that's a good idea?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And dang, how far that's the best place to smuggle something? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I don't know. I've never smuggled anything in there.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I mean, I guess if if someone's robbing you, you
either swallow it or you put.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It, yeah, or you stick it there. That's not a
bad idea, all right? Like a bath bomb. Someone stuck
a bath bomb in there? That could have just been
an incident where they sat down too quick in the
bath right and sat on it and it went up.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I think she wanted she wanted to get in the
bath and have it like slow out.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, that does sound pretty relaxing. A small plastic mermaid
flower toy. Somebody reported a bag of marijuana's been in
a vagina for two days and is uncomfortable. See they
were smuggling something there. Now listen to this one. Two vibrators,
not just one, and they were two in there and
(06:57):
they got stuck. Multiple penis rings, so scroll past that.
Two spoons again, not just I assume you're using the
second spoon to get the first spoon out.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Oh my god, here's.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
One that has me scratching my head again again. This
is a list of things that got stuck in women's
vagines in twenty twenty five, according to ER data. A
detergent pod. Someone put a tide pod in there.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
That's not good. I mean, you're not supposed to eat those.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
They must That's like, can't that kill you? If you
like swallow one? It cans I'm thinking if you eat
at the other end, I.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Assume not good, But wouldn't it dissolve.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
It would That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yeah, yeah, How she get all the way to the
er with the thing still there? It seems like it was.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Now she needs to get cleaned out because I.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Gotta run the rent cycle. Yeah yeah, and then a
beer bottle. This person was quote on a cruise on
her honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Oh my god, whoa.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I got a lot of questions about these. Now here's
the as we move to the next.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Hole, hold on, before we moved to the next hole,
something I saw on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I just don't know if it's too gross.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Too gross for this podcast. Yeah, I'll let you say it,
and then I'll I don't know gross, it probably.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Is, just use different words there.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So a woman who I'm assuming does adult film. She
was sharing how she still is able to film even
while it's that time of the month, and what.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
She puts up there?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Because she can't use a tamp because that will be
in the way.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
So she gets like those makeup sponges, like the triangle one.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
She gets like three of those, dampens them just enough
and then just shoves them up there and so just
creates so it's like super absorbent and her partner doesn't
feel a thing.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Damn it all up.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, but it just made me think of that.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Take that out of the podcast. You're sick, all right.
Here's the things people got stuck in their bu hooles. Now,
this like list is like way too. It's very extensive. Obviously,
more things get stuck here than anywhere else. Here's one quote,
patient states he put a baseball in there to see
what it felt like. Someone got a baseball in that.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I don't even know how this is possible, all of
these things. How is it possible? Is a baseball?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
And you and he's actually putting it like inside, like
half of it or whatever, all of it is inside.
Like I'm thinking, like strike three, I'm thinking he would
have to have like like a skinny end or like a.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Point you know what I mean to start and then
like yeahah know what I mean, Like, how else does
that work?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I see what you I see what you're saying. A
dog chew toy doesn't say what shape it is, though,
so that could be anything. A dryer sheet again, they
have a stinky one. They're just trying to are you
trying to freshen it up a little bit for a
big date. Maybe nothing better than that fresh out of
the dryer smell. Okay, this one makes no sense to me.
(10:05):
This patient was feeling constipated for two days. He took
the base off of his beard clippers and wrapped it
in a plastic baggy and inserted it in there, and
it got stuck. What is it even of his clippers,
of his beard clippers, it's like an electric shaver, Like
he took that and used.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That poke around in there.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I don't know. Turkey, someone got a turkey baster stuck
in there. Not a lot of surprise. They're a wine stopper.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Oh okay, well those look.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Like yeah, and you're just trying to like, you don't
want to fart in front of the first time you're
meeting the parents, so you just stick a cork real quick.
Get Yeah, let's see the highlighter, a magic wand toy.
These all makes sense. Marbles there, Why better than a
baseball though? I guess if we had our choices, there
(10:59):
were so much. Somebody got a sandal stuck.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Sand because somebody kicks their ass.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So hard they pull their foot away and they're like,
where where did she go? Has anyone seen my tivas?
Where do people still wear tivas?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Those are like those like strappy, dorky sandals that you
would see people wearing with socks. Probably no, burking socks
are cool again apparently, but tiva's are like the they'd
be like a very dad like strappy with socks.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Like platform ones.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
No no, no, it's like dads don't wear platforms.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
These they're for women in their platforms.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I think I know what you're talking about. Anyways. A doorknob.
Somebody got that stuck on there a flashlight of course,
because you're just looking for the doorknob alight, and that
fell up in there. Some uncooked pasta.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
They were they going to eat it after Maybe they thought, yeah,
I was.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Gonna play mother in law's coming over. You don't like that, bitch,
let me just feed her some pasta.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
It was gonna it's just gonna boil in there. This
patient states he had a foreign body in his rectum
that is vibrating. He states he was with a girl
last night and doesn't remember much, so she puts something
in there and it's vibrating away. He didn't remember what
it was. Thank god, all right, a rock, an egg
and eyeglasses. Who's putting the eyeglasses in there? Like I said,
(12:23):
if your thing wants to see better, maybe a cat
headed vibrator a cat. Now here's where we get to
a couple of the adult toys. An eighteen inch.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Doldo eighteen inches and that waiting. The whole thing got
stuck in there.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I guess emergency. They went to the er. Obviously it's
all the way there, because if it's part way, you're
not going to the ar. You're pulling that thing out.
You're doing anything you can to avoid the trip to
the er. God and speaking to hold my beer, because
this one just is saying it a twenty four.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Inch twenty four inches.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
That's two feet again, you if there's something to grab onto,
rather than going to the most embarrassing er trip in
your life, you're pulling that thing out on your own.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Because it's twirling through your intestines.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I think it's straightening out, you're I don't think it's
twirling through. I think it's moving them. I don't. Yeah,
it's moving, it's making its own path. Twenty four inches.
Oh my god, that sounds so feat Anyways, again, that
was a list of a very extensive list, and we
only went through a small amount of it. The things
we got a doctor. Yeah, if these are just like
(13:36):
you know, a handful of reported incidents, that's you're right.
The er doctors. Is this about seventy five percent of
the stuff they get on a Friday or Saturday night.
We got another one, get the gloves. We gotta pull
something out.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah. My sister, she's an ear nurse.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
And she's pulled a lot of things out.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I don't know if she does the pulling oviossly like
no when somebody comes in with something like that.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, so she'll like.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Every once in a while tell us that she hasn't
updated me in a while. But one time she talked
about a light bulb, and I'm like, how.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Does that even get my air move over light bulb?
Because we got a baseball that went up there. Do
you think each of these people says some ridiculous explanation
for how it got there, or are they all like,
oh my god, I was so drunk last night and
this person must have done this to me, Like I
have no idea? Or is it always like you're not
going to believe this, But I went to go get
something on the fridge, and I slipped and I fell,
(14:28):
and there's two spoons.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
You already know, we already know what you were trying
to do. I wouldn't even ask.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Do you think they still ask? Like, make them give
an explanation.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I'm giving an explanation. If I show up with two
spoons stuck in my you.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Know what I'd be like, don't even ask questions. I
don't want to talk to anybody.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I'm I'm saying as the most one in a million
slip and fall you've ever seen. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
That really did happen? He's like, you can check my ring.
I got a ring, cameras and what if that really
is what happened?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
If some of these probably were completely accidental. The bath
bomb again, I put it down in the bath, I
slipped and fell way next you know it's wedged in there.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It doesn't just like yeah, I feel like I'm magnetically
crushing it like my slips.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
And fell in a bathbabll But we just get crushed.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Not gonna like I go, not unless it found an
easier path and just right up in there. No, you
guys are sick. You guys are sick, never got anything
stuck in your first.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Wild Thoughts in twenty twenty six, and this is what
we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I told you to come with a new format and
new ideas.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Maybe twenty twenty seven.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Okay, next it's going to be the year smart.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Anyways, this is so gross. Yeah, hey you guys, good
luck naming this podcast.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Jess, there's a lot. I gave her a lot of options.
Two spoons too small,
Our first Wild Thoughts twenty.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
Six sick It's here, it's happening, it's revamped. You guys
were rebranding. We're doing a whole new version of Wild Thoughts.
We are, No, we're not. I was just trying to
make it sound more exciting for people that are like,
oh my god, I've been waiting for weeks for you
guys to get back. Let's get the Wild Thoughts going.
And I was like, yeah, there's gonna be all kinds
of new features and new stuff we're doing.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
I was, no, it's I think the same old sickery.
Speaker 2 (00:24):
Oh it is, yeah, Okay, I don't.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
We keep saying we're going to try to clean it up,
but it somehow just devolves back into filth.
Speaker 1 (00:31):
Because you guys are sick.
Speaker 3 (00:32):
Anyways, Well, Graham, unless you have something nice and squeaky clean.
Speaker 2 (00:35):
I don't. I have an article titled what did we
get stuck in our rectums? Last year? Because this is actually.
Speaker 1 (00:41):
Tests ask Jess, what did you get stuck in yours?
Speaker 2 (00:44):
Nothing? Thankfully, anything entering there? No, I love to ask that.
Never mind, never mind, take that, take that part out
of the podcast that cross the line. All right, This
is an article that compiled a bunch of data from
emergency room visits all across the country to find out
what people had to go to the er about because
they got something stuck in certain places. And surprisingly, this
(01:07):
list does not start with the rectum, you guys. This
one starts with the the weenness. Oh, there's a lot
of people that apparently stick things in there. Nothing. Nothing
sounds worse than that. As from a guy's perspective, I
cannot imagine this kind of pain. Because somebody got a
(01:28):
battery stuck in there. It didn't say what size, but
I'm picturing a C or a D battery what I
don't know. I don't know what size battery. Somebody had
an incident with some candle wax getting in there apparently.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
Oh god, people, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 2 (01:44):
Do you think they were like pouring it in there
or things got hot and steamy and some of it
accidentally they knocked over a candle. Next thing you know,
you've got hot wax inside your whee hole.
Speaker 1 (01:55):
I hope it's that one.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Either way, it sounds terrible. Listen to this one. A
chess piece, Well, which one the queen?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
Well, they're all does that.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Look like that's a pretty big one. I don't know.
It doesn't say but any of the chess pieces do
that doesn't fit? It doesn't go there can I.
Speaker 1 (02:12):
Not that you would know, Graham, I'm assuming you've never
done this, obviously not, But like, is it stretch for
some guys? Like then why?
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I don't know. It seems extremely painful, But I would
ask that about sticking things in all kinds of places,
but this seems like the absolute worst of all the
places that you could steal.
Speaker 3 (02:30):
I mean, they wouldn't do it if it didn't feel
good to them, right, I guess if they have a fetish, yeah,
it would feel good to them, just.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
Like the pain, like if they some sort of sicker.
I'll go through these next ones pretty quick. Two glass beads,
a pen, a pencil. Those are obvious. Those are obvious ones.
Not at the same time, those are separate incident? Why
pen one pen in the pennis and one pencil in
it a comb? Are you kidding me? This is not
(03:02):
two separate incidents. But somebody got apple stems stuck in
theirs and somebody got an apple core stuck in there.
Speaker 1 (03:09):
Apple stems at least smaller.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
That makes sense. Doesn't make sense, but at least like
I could, like.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
That's an infect wouldn't it crush?
Speaker 2 (03:19):
I hope they ate it way down to the like
way down, because otherwise how does it get in there?
A bobby pin I hope not bobby pin, paper clip,
spring screw staples, a thermometer. Somebody needs to check the temperature. Okay,
that's probably the most accurate place you can take your temperature,
right is on your wien Ski. Now listen to someone
(03:40):
explained this one to me.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Headphones, no, like like your like the string.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
One like your little guy wanted to listen to some
music like you're oh no, they fell out, a guitar
string and an Alan wrench. Now an Alan wrench.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
That one is.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Like a little that little l shape wrench that they
give you to assemble. Ikea furniture so that one that
seems incredibly painful. All right now to you ladies. These
are the list of items that people had to visit
the er for because they got stuck in there. Jeans,
a holiday bell that does seem like a good holiday
(04:19):
party trick. You know, you're like, he's like, where's she
where's ding ding ding coming from?
Speaker 1 (04:24):
A lighter.
Speaker 2 (04:27):
That seems maybe like one of those long barbecue ones. Why,
I don't know, aluminum foil.
Speaker 1 (04:34):
A lot of foil.
Speaker 2 (04:36):
Someone's like, hey, wrap that up and save it for
me for later. That's a weird one.
Speaker 1 (04:40):
Right, was it like was there drugs in there or something?
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Popsicle stick? Someone's just trying to give himself there on
pap smere.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
I assume did they do that eat the popsicle?
Speaker 2 (04:49):
Do they do a pap smere with a popsicle stick?
I know nothing about the I just imagine them like
reach around in there with that stick thing.
Speaker 1 (04:55):
No, no, no, it's more of like like a Q tip.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
Oh it's that big long swap. Okay, not the popsicle stick,
a plastic orca.
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Wait back to the popsicle stick.
Speaker 3 (05:05):
Did it start out as a popsicle but then it
like ate the popsicle and then it was just a
popsicle stick?
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Great question. That's how I picture it. Someone sticks a
rocket pop up there and you know you're just left
with the stick. Oh. Interesting. What's your favorite popsicle, Jess? Oh,
astro pop is? What are they called rocket pops or
astro I thought rocket astronaut.
Speaker 1 (05:24):
Pop Those are good. I also like the watermelon one
that has the little seeds.
Speaker 2 (05:28):
The candy seats. I'm interested.
Speaker 1 (05:29):
Was it her children?
Speaker 2 (05:31):
And they're all popsicles from children?
Speaker 3 (05:33):
But like that's why toddlered like begs for those ones,
like the watermelon ones.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Anyways, going because a plastic.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
Orca orca we know is a killer whale, a little
toy killer whale. Someone got stuck in their vagine. That
does sound like the little fin sticking out sounds uh sharp? Okay.
This one is a quote from an incident. This woman
inserted two diamond rings into her vagine while at a
party in fear they would be stolen. So it was like, oh, shoot,
(06:00):
I don't want somebody to do my jewelry. And she
stuck the diamond rings in there and then they got stuck.
Speaker 1 (06:06):
Why would she think that's a good idea?
Speaker 2 (06:07):
And dang, how far that's the best place to smuggle something? Right?
Speaker 1 (06:12):
I don't know. I've never smuggled anything in there.
Speaker 3 (06:14):
I mean, I guess if if someone's robbing you, you
either swallow it or you put.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
It, yeah, or you stick it there. That's not a
bad idea, all right? Like a bath bomb. Someone stuck
a bath bomb in there? That could have just been
an incident where they sat down too quick in the
bath right and sat on it and it went up.
Speaker 1 (06:32):
I think she wanted she wanted to get in the
bath and have it like slow out.
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah, that does sound pretty relaxing. A small plastic mermaid
flower toy. Somebody reported a bag of marijuana's been in
a vagina for two days and is uncomfortable. See they
were smuggling something there. Now listen to this one. Two vibrators,
not just one, and they were two in there and
(06:57):
they got stuck. Multiple penis rings, so scroll past that.
Two spoons again, not just I assume you're using the
second spoon to get the first spoon out.
Speaker 1 (07:06):
Oh my god, here's.
Speaker 2 (07:08):
One that has me scratching my head again again. This
is a list of things that got stuck in women's
vagines in twenty twenty five, according to ER data. A
detergent pod. Someone put a tide pod in there.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
That's not good. I mean, you're not supposed to eat those.
Speaker 3 (07:23):
They must That's like, can't that kill you? If you
like swallow one? It cans I'm thinking if you eat
at the other end, I.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
Assume not good, But wouldn't it dissolve.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
It would That's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2 (07:36):
Yeah, yeah, How she get all the way to the
er with the thing still there? It seems like it was.
Speaker 1 (07:41):
Now she needs to get cleaned out because I.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
Gotta run the rent cycle. Yeah yeah, and then a
beer bottle. This person was quote on a cruise on
her honeymoon.
Speaker 1 (07:50):
Oh my god, whoa.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
I got a lot of questions about these. Now here's
the as we move to the next.
Speaker 3 (07:59):
Hole, hold on, before we moved to the next hole,
something I saw on Instagram.
Speaker 1 (08:05):
I just don't know if it's too gross.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
Too gross for this podcast. Yeah, I'll let you say it,
and then I'll I don't know gross, it probably.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
Is, just use different words there.
Speaker 3 (08:17):
So a woman who I'm assuming does adult film. She
was sharing how she still is able to film even
while it's that time of the month, and what.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
She puts up there?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
What is it?
Speaker 3 (08:34):
Because she can't use a tamp because that will be
in the way.
Speaker 1 (08:38):
So she gets like those makeup sponges, like the triangle one.
Speaker 3 (08:43):
She gets like three of those, dampens them just enough
and then just shoves them up there and so just
creates so it's like super absorbent and her partner doesn't
feel a thing.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
Damn it all up.
Speaker 3 (08:56):
Yeah, but it just made me think of that.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Take that out of the podcast. You're sick, all right.
Here's the things people got stuck in their bu hooles. Now,
this like list is like way too. It's very extensive. Obviously,
more things get stuck here than anywhere else. Here's one quote,
patient states he put a baseball in there to see
what it felt like. Someone got a baseball in that.
Speaker 3 (09:21):
I don't even know how this is possible, all of
these things. How is it possible? Is a baseball?
Speaker 2 (09:27):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (09:27):
And you and he's actually putting it like inside, like
half of it or whatever, all of it is inside.
Like I'm thinking, like strike three, I'm thinking he would
have to have like like a skinny end or like a.
Speaker 1 (09:37):
Point you know what I mean to start and then
like yeahah know what I mean, Like, how else does
that work?
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I see what you I see what you're saying. A
dog chew toy doesn't say what shape it is, though,
so that could be anything. A dryer sheet again, they
have a stinky one. They're just trying to are you
trying to freshen it up a little bit for a
big date. Maybe nothing better than that fresh out of
the dryer smell. Okay, this one makes no sense to me.
(10:05):
This patient was feeling constipated for two days. He took
the base off of his beard clippers and wrapped it
in a plastic baggy and inserted it in there, and
it got stuck. What is it even of his clippers,
of his beard clippers, it's like an electric shaver, Like
he took that and used.
Speaker 1 (10:24):
That poke around in there.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
I don't know. Turkey, someone got a turkey baster stuck
in there. Not a lot of surprise. They're a wine stopper.
Speaker 1 (10:34):
Oh okay, well those look.
Speaker 2 (10:37):
Like yeah, and you're just trying to like, you don't
want to fart in front of the first time you're
meeting the parents, so you just stick a cork real quick.
Get Yeah, let's see the highlighter, a magic wand toy.
These all makes sense. Marbles there, Why better than a
baseball though? I guess if we had our choices, there
(10:59):
were so much. Somebody got a sandal stuck.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Sand because somebody kicks their ass.
Speaker 2 (11:05):
So hard they pull their foot away and they're like,
where where did she go? Has anyone seen my tivas?
Where do people still wear tivas?
Speaker 1 (11:14):
I don't know what that is.
Speaker 2 (11:15):
Those are like those like strappy, dorky sandals that you
would see people wearing with socks. Probably no, burking socks
are cool again apparently, but tiva's are like the they'd
be like a very dad like strappy with socks.
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Like platform ones.
Speaker 2 (11:31):
No no, no, it's like dads don't wear platforms.
Speaker 1 (11:33):
These they're for women in their platforms.
Speaker 2 (11:36):
I think I know what you're talking about. Anyways. A doorknob.
Somebody got that stuck on there a flashlight of course,
because you're just looking for the doorknob alight, and that
fell up in there. Some uncooked pasta.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
That's disgusting.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
They were they going to eat it after Maybe they thought, yeah,
I was.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Gonna play mother in law's coming over. You don't like that, bitch,
let me just feed her some pasta.
Speaker 2 (11:58):
It was gonna it's just gonna boil in there. This
patient states he had a foreign body in his rectum
that is vibrating. He states he was with a girl
last night and doesn't remember much, so she puts something
in there and it's vibrating away. He didn't remember what
it was. Thank god, all right, a rock, an egg
and eyeglasses. Who's putting the eyeglasses in there? Like I said,
(12:23):
if your thing wants to see better, maybe a cat
headed vibrator a cat. Now here's where we get to
a couple of the adult toys. An eighteen inch.
Speaker 3 (12:34):
Doldo eighteen inches and that waiting. The whole thing got
stuck in there.
Speaker 2 (12:40):
I guess emergency. They went to the er. Obviously it's
all the way there, because if it's part way, you're
not going to the ar. You're pulling that thing out.
You're doing anything you can to avoid the trip to
the er. God and speaking to hold my beer, because
this one just is saying it a twenty four.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Inch twenty four inches.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
That's two feet again, you if there's something to grab onto,
rather than going to the most embarrassing er trip in
your life, you're pulling that thing out on your own.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Because it's twirling through your intestines.
Speaker 2 (13:14):
I think it's straightening out, you're I don't think it's
twirling through. I think it's moving them. I don't. Yeah,
it's moving, it's making its own path. Twenty four inches.
Oh my god, that sounds so feat Anyways, again, that
was a list of a very extensive list, and we
only went through a small amount of it. The things
we got a doctor. Yeah, if these are just like
(13:36):
you know, a handful of reported incidents, that's you're right.
The er doctors. Is this about seventy five percent of
the stuff they get on a Friday or Saturday night.
We got another one, get the gloves. We gotta pull
something out.
Speaker 1 (13:48):
Yeah. My sister, she's an ear nurse.
Speaker 2 (13:51):
And she's pulled a lot of things out.
Speaker 3 (13:53):
I don't know if she does the pulling oviossly like
no when somebody comes in with something like that.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
Yeah, so she'll like.
Speaker 3 (13:59):
Every once in a while tell us that she hasn't
updated me in a while. But one time she talked
about a light bulb, and I'm like, how.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Does that even get my air move over light bulb?
Because we got a baseball that went up there. Do
you think each of these people says some ridiculous explanation
for how it got there, or are they all like,
oh my god, I was so drunk last night and
this person must have done this to me, Like I
have no idea? Or is it always like you're not
going to believe this, But I went to go get
something on the fridge, and I slipped and I fell,
(14:28):
and there's two spoons.
Speaker 3 (14:29):
You already know, we already know what you were trying
to do. I wouldn't even ask.
Speaker 1 (14:34):
Do you think they still ask? Like, make them give
an explanation.
Speaker 2 (14:37):
I'm giving an explanation. If I show up with two
spoons stuck in my you.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Know what I'd be like, don't even ask questions. I
don't want to talk to anybody.
Speaker 2 (14:44):
I'm I'm saying as the most one in a million
slip and fall you've ever seen. You know what I mean?
Speaker 3 (14:50):
That really did happen? He's like, you can check my ring.
I got a ring, cameras and what if that really
is what happened?
Speaker 2 (14:55):
If some of these probably were completely accidental. The bath
bomb again, I put it down in the bath, I
slipped and fell way next you know it's wedged in there.
Speaker 3 (15:05):
It doesn't just like yeah, I feel like I'm magnetically
crushing it like my slips.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
And fell in a bathbabll But we just get crushed.
Speaker 2 (15:11):
Not gonna like I go, not unless it found an
easier path and just right up in there. No, you
guys are sick. You guys are sick, never got anything
stuck in your first.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Wild Thoughts in twenty twenty six, and this is what
we're talking about.
Speaker 2 (15:25):
I told you to come with a new format and
new ideas.
Speaker 1 (15:28):
Maybe twenty twenty seven.
Speaker 2 (15:29):
Okay, next it's going to be the year smart.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
Anyways, this is so gross. Yeah, hey you guys, good
luck naming this podcast.
Speaker 2 (15:35):
Jess, there's a lot. I gave her a lot of options.
Two spoons too small,
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