Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
So so.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's it's time to make a date or break on
tip in the morning.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The name explains what it is you decide if you're
going to make your date or your next date, or
you're going to break it off, and if you have
you're somewhere in between. There. Lori Sharpage is the one
that you go to. Good morning Lori. She's our licensed
clinical counselor, so you're more than welcome to ask her
a question anytime. On Tuesdays, this is when we start. So, actually,
are you a secret keeper? And how does that play
(00:29):
in your relationship? And when I say relationship, I mean friendship.
So today we're actually going to help out the friends
of those who are in relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, and in this case, they're in a tough spot. Right,
So I got a message.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
And again, relationships can be so vulnerable and sticky that
it's not always comfortable to call the radio. So there
are just like multiple ways to get in touch with
this crew right here, DM works, talkback works, phone works,
all of the All Right, I recently learned that my
closest friend is cheating on her husband, who is also
(01:06):
a good friend of mine. She confided in me about
the affair and now, of course I'm torn. I feel
guilty knowing this and not telling her husband, but I
don't want to betray her trust. How should I handle
this situation?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Man, that's a yuck That is a yucky situation to
be put into. Yeah, and I think that this is
this is part of what's challenging, is like, she probably
didn't really understand or consent to being put in this situation.
Sometimes we don't, you know, people will tell us things,
and if we had the opportunity to say, like no,
I actually don't want to know, or I don't want
to hold a secret, our answer would be no. But
(01:42):
a lot of times we just find ourselves unexpectedly holding it.
Trauma dum yes they trauma dumt on. And now we're like,
what do we do with this information? I would say,
since she is uncomfortable, and since she is friends with
both parties, she has to go back to her friend
who told her and tell her like the weight of this,
say that this is really hard for me because my
(02:03):
guess is impacting her relationship with her and probably him,
although he may not realize, you know, what that tension is.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And I think that the truth of the matter is.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's not just the relationship between the two parties and
the affair, it's now the friendships that are involved. We've
got multiple relationships that can have collateral from this. So
I would really encourage her to go back and tell
her friends the weight of this and try and get
a read on like how long is this? Is this
a forever secret or is there some moment when she's
(02:34):
going to tell that you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
How long am I trapped in this dungeon of thels?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Thank you put me. I'm a rider die for my friends. Though,
so I would rather lose her as a friend than
throw her under the bus.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well, I think that's totally a fair way to come
out of that balance. I think each relationship is going
to have a different balance. That's why I suggest going
back and telling the friend what the weight is. Like
this could actually end a relationship if you want me
to hold the secret. Okay, But like, I can't hang
out and be with you guys and be my normal
self while doing so.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I never once heard you say go and tell him
the secret? Right?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yes, I would not would not be my first stop.
Okay in this there may be a point when that
is the appropriate thing today. That would not be the
first stop. I would go to the person who told
the secret first and have that conversation.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, so this is one incident I feel like when
it happens, there's a spider web, make there's no one way,
there's no one correct way because they can go spider
web in all these different places. So here's what we're
gonna do. Five one, three, seven, four nine, one oh
seven one. Has this happened to you? Because I like
to get multiple angles on things. Lari shirt pages are
(03:46):
professh You, my friend, are in our inner radio circle here,
So has this happened to you? And how how did
you navigate it? Or do you have like a similar
situation that you're like, ooh, but mine looks this way
and I could use like very specific advice as to
what I'm going on. We'll get you on the air next.
In the meantime, we're still commercial free hang out. Good morning, Hi,
(04:08):
good morning. You're waking up with Tiff in the morning
on Kiss one O seven. What's still commercial free And
we're in the midst of make a Date or Break
where relationships and therapy come together on my show here
on Tuesdays, and we have free reign and free access
to therapy with Lori sharp Page. She's our licensed clinical counsel.
You've been on the show for like two plus years now. Yeah,
(04:28):
I love it. We've helped thousands of Cincinnati ands. No,
that sounds like a commercial. We really I don't even
know if we're helping anyone. I feel like we are.
You never know. Absolutely this time, we're talking about relationships,
but actually when it comes to friends, so if you're
just walking into this conversation, come in and sit down,
let's hang out. So I got a message that said,
I found out that my best friend is cheating on
(04:51):
her husband, who I'm also friends with, and I am
like stuck in this spider web and I'm spiraling, and
just quickly, what was your advice on that one?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
My advice was like, that's a yucky place to be,
and I would go back to the friend who told
you and explain that that's a really hard place to be.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Okay, So right now we've gotten some more messages and
such from people because this feels very specific. It feels
like you have to know the friend and the relationship
to be able to give really specific advice. Rather than
in general advice. So I welcome you to message me
or call me or talk back with Tiff if you
have something that you want specific answers on. Okay, So
(05:27):
something similar happened to me. I'm trying to keep this anonymous.
I know that makes the most sense for Yeah, I
think we'll be the holders of the keepers. Okay, I
can hold you. I'm okay with that. Okay. So something
similar happened to me, and I said something to my
friends about this, and she never ended up coming clean
with her husband. So I kind of stepped away from
(05:49):
our friendship and it just hasn't sat right with me since.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Well I understand why it hasn't sat right with you.
But you were practicing putting down a boundary. You did
the right thing for you. Oh boy, Yeah, I mean
I know, like it can be like a little bit
of like, eh, you know when we have to put
a boundary down like that. But if you could not
maintain that relationship and the secret, it's just the reality
of the situation.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
You had to do it. Take care of yourself. But
that's such a heart losing friends to me, Oh my gosh,
it's heartbreaking. Yeah, you grieve that harder than actual human
loss sometimes, right, right, You grieve your friends harder sometimes
than you do your own family.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Right. And I'd just like to remind you, though, that
the boundary is a response from the thing that lost
the relationship, which was being put into a position where
you had to hold a secret.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
The boundary is how you care for yourself post and so,
I really is hard. It is heartbreaking. I don't want
anyone to lose their relationships. But if you can't manage both,
you can't manage both.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Oh my god, yeah, I don't want to wait. I
don't know if this is getting like Dawson's gree No,
I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
Coping queen on Instagram. You obviously know how to connect
with my show if you're interested in it, but you
can go to her direct Coming up two songs from now.
How much does each person spend per minute at Costco?
(07:15):
Oh god, do you have a guest?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Lorie got ten dollars?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Ten dollars a minute?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
What's your credit card bill? We'll get to that next
So so.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
It's it's time to make a date or break on
tip in the morning.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
The name explains what it is you decide if you're
going to make your date or your next date, or
you're going to break it off, and if you have
you're somewhere in between. There. Lori Sharpage is the one
that you go to. Good morning Lori. She's our licensed
clinical counselor, so you're more than welcome to ask her
a question anytime. On Tuesdays, this is when we start. So, actually,
are you a secret keeper? And how does that play
(00:29):
in your relationship? And when I say relationship, I mean friendship.
So today we're actually going to help out the friends
of those who are in relationships.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Yeah, and in this case, they're in a tough spot. Right,
So I got a message.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
And again, relationships can be so vulnerable and sticky that
it's not always comfortable to call the radio. So there
are just like multiple ways to get in touch with
this crew right here, DM works, talkback works, phone works,
all of the All Right, I recently learned that my
closest friend is cheating on her husband, who is also
(01:06):
a good friend of mine. She confided in me about
the affair and now, of course I'm torn. I feel
guilty knowing this and not telling her husband, but I
don't want to betray her trust. How should I handle
this situation?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Man, that's a yuck That is a yucky situation to
be put into. Yeah, and I think that this is
this is part of what's challenging, is like, she probably
didn't really understand or consent to being put in this situation.
Sometimes we don't, you know, people will tell us things,
and if we had the opportunity to say, like no,
I actually don't want to know, or I don't want
to hold a secret, our answer would be no. But
(01:42):
a lot of times we just find ourselves unexpectedly holding it.
Trauma dum yes they trauma dumt on. And now we're like,
what do we do with this information? I would say,
since she is uncomfortable, and since she is friends with
both parties, she has to go back to her friend
who told her and tell her like the weight of this,
say that this is really hard for me because my
(02:03):
guess is impacting her relationship with her and probably him,
although he may not realize, you know, what that tension is.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
And I think that the truth of the matter is.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's not just the relationship between the two parties and
the affair, it's now the friendships that are involved. We've
got multiple relationships that can have collateral from this. So
I would really encourage her to go back and tell
her friends the weight of this and try and get
a read on like how long is this? Is this
a forever secret or is there some moment when she's
(02:34):
going to tell that you know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (02:35):
How long am I trapped in this dungeon of thels?
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (02:38):
Thank you put me. I'm a rider die for my friends. Though,
so I would rather lose her as a friend than
throw her under the bus.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Well, I think that's totally a fair way to come
out of that balance. I think each relationship is going
to have a different balance. That's why I suggest going
back and telling the friend what the weight is. Like
this could actually end a relationship if you want me
to hold the secret. Okay, But like, I can't hang
out and be with you guys and be my normal
self while doing so.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
I never once heard you say go and tell him
the secret? Right?
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Yes, I would not would not be my first stop.
Okay in this there may be a point when that
is the appropriate thing today. That would not be the
first stop. I would go to the person who told
the secret first and have that conversation.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, so this is one incident I feel like when
it happens, there's a spider web, make there's no one way,
there's no one correct way because they can go spider
web in all these different places. So here's what we're
gonna do. Five one, three, seven, four nine, one oh
seven one. Has this happened to you? Because I like
to get multiple angles on things. Lari shirt pages are
(03:46):
professh You, my friend, are in our inner radio circle here,
So has this happened to you? And how how did
you navigate it? Or do you have like a similar
situation that you're like, ooh, but mine looks this way
and I could use like very specific advice as to
what I'm going on. We'll get you on the air next.
In the meantime, we're still commercial free hang out. Good morning, Hi,
(04:08):
good morning. You're waking up with Tiff in the morning
on Kiss one O seven. What's still commercial free And
we're in the midst of make a Date or Break
where relationships and therapy come together on my show here
on Tuesdays, and we have free reign and free access
to therapy with Lori sharp Page. She's our licensed clinical counsel.
You've been on the show for like two plus years now. Yeah,
(04:28):
I love it. We've helped thousands of Cincinnati ands. No,
that sounds like a commercial. We really I don't even
know if we're helping anyone. I feel like we are.
You never know. Absolutely this time, we're talking about relationships,
but actually when it comes to friends, so if you're
just walking into this conversation, come in and sit down,
let's hang out. So I got a message that said,
I found out that my best friend is cheating on
(04:51):
her husband, who I'm also friends with, and I am
like stuck in this spider web and I'm spiraling, and
just quickly, what was your advice on that one?
Speaker 2 (04:59):
My advice was like, that's a yucky place to be,
and I would go back to the friend who told
you and explain that that's a really hard place to be.
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Okay, So right now we've gotten some more messages and
such from people because this feels very specific. It feels
like you have to know the friend and the relationship
to be able to give really specific advice. Rather than
in general advice. So I welcome you to message me
or call me or talk back with Tiff if you
have something that you want specific answers on. Okay, So
(05:27):
something similar happened to me. I'm trying to keep this anonymous.
I know that makes the most sense for Yeah, I
think we'll be the holders of the keepers. Okay, I
can hold you. I'm okay with that. Okay. So something
similar happened to me, and I said something to my
friends about this, and she never ended up coming clean
with her husband. So I kind of stepped away from
(05:49):
our friendship and it just hasn't sat right with me since.
Speaker 2 (05:54):
Well I understand why it hasn't sat right with you.
But you were practicing putting down a boundary. You did
the right thing for you. Oh boy, Yeah, I mean
I know, like it can be like a little bit
of like, eh, you know when we have to put
a boundary down like that. But if you could not
maintain that relationship and the secret, it's just the reality
of the situation.
Speaker 1 (06:12):
You had to do it. Take care of yourself. But
that's such a heart losing friends to me, Oh my gosh,
it's heartbreaking. Yeah, you grieve that harder than actual human
loss sometimes, right, right, You grieve your friends harder sometimes
than you do your own family.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
Right. And I'd just like to remind you, though, that
the boundary is a response from the thing that lost
the relationship, which was being put into a position where
you had to hold a secret.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
You know.
Speaker 2 (06:36):
The boundary is how you care for yourself post and so,
I really is hard. It is heartbreaking. I don't want
anyone to lose their relationships. But if you can't manage both,
you can't manage both.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
Oh my god, yeah, I don't want to wait. I
don't know if this is getting like Dawson's gree No,
I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
Coping queen on Instagram. You obviously know how to connect
with my show if you're interested in it, but you
can go to her direct Coming up two songs from now.
How much does each person spend per minute at Costco?
(07:15):
Oh god, do you have a guest?
Speaker 2 (07:16):
Lorie got ten dollars?
Speaker 1 (07:20):
Ten dollars a minute?
Speaker 2 (07:21):
Girl?
Speaker 1 (07:22):
What's your credit card bill? We'll get to that next
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