Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
This is Lee Habib and this is our American Stories,
the show where America is the star and the American people.
In addition to leading her churches ministry, Roseanne Forte was
a prosperous executive. She had four kids, she was a wife,
but she harbored a secret that threatened to unravel everything.
(00:30):
Here's Roseanne to tell her story.
Speaker 2 (00:37):
I grew up in New Hampshire and near that small
piece of coastline that New Hampshire has, so kind of
a small time girl. My parents were hairstylists, and you know,
I was always near the shop, helping them with their business,
(00:58):
and you know, kind of staying out of trouble for
the most part until I got to age thirteen, and
then my parents started working and worked at home a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:13):
I wanted to make friends.
Speaker 2 (01:15):
We had just moved to a different part of the
state called Hampton Hampton Beach, and I wanted to be
a cool kid. And I ended up being a cool
kid by trying alcohol and smoking cigarettes. When I was
thirteen years old, I fell a victim to a lack
(01:41):
of a better word, the lies of this world I
wanted to fit in.
Speaker 3 (01:47):
I was what's called the locky kids. And my parents
were at work. I was unattended to.
Speaker 2 (01:53):
And I tried alcohol and cigarettes with my friends and
over time.
Speaker 3 (02:00):
You know, back then even cigarettes were cool. It was
a Marble.
Speaker 2 (02:04):
Man and Virginia Slim's women and your doctor recommends candle lights.
Speaker 3 (02:08):
So I definitely, like.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Every other teen, wanted to be a cool kid, and
so I participated. I think it was just there was
just this natural thing where I was the new kid
in town, and the group of kids that was my age,
(02:31):
you're like, come on, let's go have some beer, or
come on, let's go have a cigarette. For me, I
felt like it was the thing I had to do
in order to make friends.
Speaker 3 (02:42):
And I remember, you know, with the.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
Alcohol, I got really really ill, and with the cigarettes,
I was coughing and choking on them. You're sitting here
doing these very unnatural things to your body just to
fit in. It's kind of a strange thing, right. I
can't explain why, but that desire, that teenage time frame
(03:07):
where it's so important to find your proud your connection
with other people, you will do what you need to do.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
And maybe it's this thought that this.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Is how I need to survive, is to participate, and
so I fell into that trap, you know that goes
on to college and the partying and animal house, and
you know, it just continues into that's how you have
fun in the business world, and you go out, you
(03:41):
have cocktails at lunch. It was just, I don't know,
my life just seemed very alcohol and party centric because
I participated at such a young age. This just progressed
into my college years. Quite frankly, I don't think I
(04:03):
remember knowing any human being that didn't drink when college.
Speaker 3 (04:08):
So it was just that's what you did to have fun.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
And at that point in my life, I don't think
I had a lot of stress or you know, other
than the typical do a good job at school. And
once I graduated from college, I went into the business world.
First I was a CPA. Then I went into mortgage banking,
which is also a big or It used to be
(04:32):
a very big alcohol centric industry where we'd go to
happy hours or business lunches, business genners and there's always
a nice bottle of wine and maybe a martini at lunch.
It was just a normal thing. I ended up meeting
(04:53):
my husband in a bar because.
Speaker 3 (04:55):
That's where I went.
Speaker 2 (04:57):
To socialize, and we got married, and our life was
very much focused on parties and drinking, so that just progressed.
It's really hard to figure out when you cross what I.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Call the invisible line.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
When I was younger and I went to the doctors
and they asked you, how much do you drink? I
think I remember, let's call it mid twenties. I'm like, yeah,
maybe ten or twelve a week. And the doctor went
and I went, what And she's like, that's a lot.
And I didn't think so, because I'd be out socializing
(05:42):
four times a week and you know, maybe four drinks,
and that seemed normal in my world. And so from
that point on, I never shared with my doctor again
the truth about how much I drank. But there's always
this like, yeah, those alcoholics or you know, you're not
(06:03):
going to be one of those way down the road
because I have control. And then if you ask me
when I cross this invisible line, I cannot share with
you when that was.
Speaker 3 (06:19):
And based on my experience as a coach, I don't
think many people know.
Speaker 2 (06:24):
They just know that one day they can control it,
and then the next day something happens that they've separated
consequence from their excessive drinking. And when they start to
control it, they can't anymore. And that's the dangerous thing
about addiction. Somebody doesn't tell you, hey, the line.
Speaker 3 (06:46):
Is right before you. You just cross over it without knowing.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
And you've been listening to rose and Forte her story,
and if you're nodding up and down, this may be
yours or somebody you know, certainly somebody you know, and
maybe you. And it's so true, it's hard to know
when you've crossed that invisible line. One day you can
control it, and one day you can't. When we come
back more of Roseanne Forte's story here on our American Stories.
(07:29):
This is Lee Habib, host of our American Stories. Every
day we set out to tell the stories of Americans
past and present, from small towns to big cities and
from all walks of life doing extraordinary things. But we
truly can't do this show without you. Our shows are
free to listen to, but they're not free to make.
If you love what you hear, go to our Americanstories
(07:51):
dot com and make a donation to keep the stories coming.
That's our American Stories dot com. And we continue with
our American Stories and rose Ane Forte's story let's pick
(08:13):
up when we last left off.
Speaker 2 (08:27):
I had known I needed to do something for many,
many years. I was trying, and I think, like most people,
only after five, only on the weekends, only on special occasions,
only with friends, only on holidays, and that's how the
(08:49):
negotiating starts.
Speaker 3 (08:53):
But then there are.
Speaker 2 (08:55):
Events that occur in your life where you go, well,
that's enough.
Speaker 3 (08:59):
I really got to take this seriously. And I had
plenty of those two.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
But the event that really was a turning point for
me was after years of making all these negotiations, suffering
the consequences of my excessive alcohol use in terms of health,
mental health productivity.
Speaker 3 (09:28):
As Millie traveled as holily weekend tonight. COVID and flu
are also on the move.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
When my defining moment wasn't COVID hit and I was
watching television and saw Italy throwing those bodies in the
back of a truck and it was heading towards the
United States.
Speaker 3 (09:49):
And because I had already.
Speaker 2 (09:51):
Quit smoking for fifteen years at this point, butline lungs
were not the best and excessive alcohol decreases lung function
and immune system.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
And I'm like, I don't have a chance, and.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
You know, in a hospital on a ventilator without your family.
That wasn't That was enough for me to just go Okay,
I got to get serious.
Speaker 3 (10:14):
This was my defining moment.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
Okay, hi everyone, my name is Roseanne and I'm an alcoholic.
My knowledge of what was available to me at that
time were a variety of twelve step programs, and I
found those.
Speaker 3 (10:39):
Difficult for me because of the labeling.
Speaker 2 (10:42):
I really had a hard time saying I'm an alcoholic.
Speaker 3 (10:46):
Now, I'm not denying I didn't have I had.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
A serious call problem, right, But it was a labeling
that really bothered me.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
Labeling is it's not a good thing in any.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
Sense, in any sense of any world, because why don't
you put a label on someone you know, you're depressed,
you're an alcoholic. Hear this, The curiosity about the person
stops because the label.
Speaker 3 (11:16):
Seems to explain everything.
Speaker 2 (11:20):
There was a book I read and it was like,
you know, it's like that child who sees a bird
for the first time and they are in awe of
the feathers and the colors and the beef and every
part of this bird, and mom says bird right, And
(11:41):
then the very next.
Speaker 3 (11:43):
Time that child sees a bird. They don't.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
They're not looking for the qualities of the bird anymore.
They just a bird. And I think that's a perfect
example of labeling.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
I just tell people today that.
Speaker 2 (12:01):
I don't drink, and if they ask if I had
a problem, I surely did. Why don't you drink anymore?
Because life is so much better? And it's the same
thing I say about smoking. I used to smoke cigarettes.
As a matter of fact, cigarette smoking was a bigger
problem for me. I used to smoke a cigarette when
(12:23):
I woke up in the morning and smoke a cigarette
when I went to bed at night.
Speaker 3 (12:27):
I needed pharmaceuticals to help me quit.
Speaker 2 (12:31):
But it wasn't a cigarette aholic. It wasn't a smokaholic.
And I'm not a recovery for the rest of my life.
I just don't smoke because it was killing me. And
their mantra is to look for a higher power, and
I was a Christian, so I already had my higher power.
(12:53):
So I ended up looking for something different, and I
found a coaching program that said, hey, just put this
aside for ninety days and see what's possible.
Speaker 3 (13:04):
And when you're addicted to a substance, the thought of
forever is.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
Really overwhelming, and I don't know if I would have
been successful if they said forever.
Speaker 3 (13:17):
But They're like, just challenge.
Speaker 2 (13:18):
Yourself ninety days, and I'm like, you know, this is
kicking my butt. I need to do something about this,
so I'm going to do it. And with that kind
of mindset, like just ninety days, it wasn't that hard.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
I mean, you have moments, but it wasn't.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
Excruciating because I thought, well, i'll be healthy and I
can choose alcohol again after I just need to see
what this is like. And then what happened is I
was completely transformed and I went from love self esteem
to self confidence. I went from needing medication for blood
(13:57):
pressure to not needing medication. I lost twenty pounds, I
was happier, I had found peace and joy in my
life again. The concept behind this program was now you
can choose. Now you know, this is what life is
like with, this is what life is without. And I
(14:21):
just felt such a personal transformation that I didn't want
to go back, and I became you know, the person
who coached me, I just said, this is kind of magic,
and I'd love to work with you. So I ended
up being a coach and learning how to help other
(14:45):
people change their relationship with alcohol.
Speaker 3 (14:54):
Your friends tonight, I would.
Speaker 2 (14:56):
Like my faith and my higher power is the Triune
Christian God. The National Institutes of Health, there's a division
that did a study that said you are eighty four
percent more likely to recover from addiction if God is
involved in the process. How to just forgive ourselves and
(15:19):
move on and understand that our behavior hopefully is changed
enough that people will trust us again and we can
reform new relationships again. But understanding consequences of behavior is
a part of wisdom and growing. I think all of
(15:40):
that can be used to help others as they walk
through difficult paths as well.
Speaker 3 (15:48):
To forgive the unforgiven.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
What we're talking about is knowing there's a better plan
and knowing that somebody is empowering you to create it,
and knowing you were born with something unique and a gift.
And I feel like my relationship through Jesus empowers me
(16:13):
to just be fearless and what I do versus. I
was in a house with the blinds closed by myself
drinking and my world was getting smaller and smaller, and
removing that substance it for me It is just made
me fearless. And I don't think that's only for me.
(16:36):
That is not only for me, that is for everyone.
That's a promise for everyone that you can make a
difference in the lives of people around you.
Speaker 1 (16:57):
And a terrific job on the production and storytellingelling by
Russ Jones and Oscar Corral And a special thanks to
Roseanne Forte for sharing her story the plans he has
for me, the twelve week daily devotional for Freedom from
Alcohol that's her book. Go to Amazon or the usual
Suspects and pick it up. I am not in recovery
(17:19):
the rest of my life. She said. She just didn't
want to be labeled an alcoholic. And that story she
told about the bird, it's just so true what happens
when we just label something, We become it and it
becomes the label. According to the NIH, eighty four percent
of all of us are more likely to recover from
any addiction if God is involved in the process. We
(17:42):
love to share these stories. I know you love to
hear them. Roseanne Forte's story of love and a life
of meaning and purpose conquering alcohol. Here on our American
Stories