November 5, 2024 • 9 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, when Donna’s daughter, Cassie, was diagnosed with Chronic Paranoid Schizophrenia as a teenager, their daily jobs became more difficult. So they dropped everything and opened a resale shop.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
And we continue with our American stories, and up next,
we're going to hear from Donna Howard tell the story
of her daughter, Cassie, who was a teenager was met
with a diagnosis that changed her life. You'll find out
where that diagnosis has led Donna to today, to a
place where she can help not only her daughter Cassie,
but others under similar circumstances, and all while shedding light
(00:35):
on an illness that had kept them in the dark
for so many years.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I was director of ideology at a hospital here in
Mississippi for many many years, moved to Arkansas, got married,
had three children, and in nineteen ninety Cassie became ill
on her fourteenth birthday. It was a Sunday afternoon. I
remember it very well. She came in the kitchen that
(01:01):
day and said, the new kids on the block are
saying happy birthday to me through the air conditioner.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And that was AHA moment.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I began to think back, and she had been telling
me things and I had not paid attention. I say this,
and I don't think people really understand when I say
she didn't sleep till she was five years old, And
I think now, was she hearing the voices and that
was normal to her. But there were many many nights
we didn't sleep. So I called the pediatrician and I said,
(01:33):
we need to talk to you, and so we met
him at the emergency room, and after about an hour
of him and her talking, he came out and he said,
she's got some serious, serious issues. She was in and
out of hospitals. Then it took a long time to
get a diagnosis because a lot of doctors didn't know
a lot about schizophrenia. It took us a year. We
went out to UCLA to the Neuropsychiatric Institute, and that's
(01:56):
where we got our diagnosis of chronic paranoid schizophrenia at
age fifteen. She was having such a hard time that
year that I don't think it really resonated with her
what chronic paranoid schizophrenia was. She just knew she was
hearing these voices that were very real to her. It
(02:18):
was very scary for her. It was hard to find
anybody to treat her. It was just a nightmare because
I couldn't get any help and I couldn't find any
peace for and I also had two other children at home.
She went to school until she was in the tenth grade,
and I finally took her out because here she was
a quiet, shy little girl sitting over in the corner crying.
So after six months of them calling me every day,
(02:41):
you know, we don't know what to do with her,
I finally took her out of school. So I had
to stay home and take care of her and educate
myself on what to expect and how to handle what
we were going through.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
It was extremely difficult.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Time because you didn't talk about My family wouldn't talk
to me about it. They didn't really understand it. And
that's when we decided she needed to get a job
that that might help. And we tried many jobs, and
I even paid one place to let her work there.
I paid them just to let her come in and
clean their equipment, just so she'd have something to do.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Then she got a job and.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Worked at this grocery store, but the people were not
kind to her. They didn't understand her. She was twenty
years old. She looked like she should be able to
act like a girl woman and make decisions, and she couldn't.
And every day she would come home, I hate my job.
I hate my job. You know, I don't want to
do this. So I was in Nashville shopping with my
sister in law and we went into a thrift store
(03:38):
and we got to talking to the owner and he
had opened it to give his daughter a job because
she had autism. And we walked out the door and
my sister in law looked at me and said, you're
going to do that.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Aren't you. It took me four years. I retired.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Then I put what retirement money I had into it,
and I opened the store here in Oxford to employ
persons living with mental illness in a safe work environment
in hopes of helping them achieve independence and self respect.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Cassie was thrilled.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
She was very excited that she wasn't going to have
to work at the grocery store anymore.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
We started out with two employees.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I had started getting donations before I opened the store,
and so we had a few things, not a lot.
But the first day we opened, a lady stole from
me the very first day, and I'm like, oh, my gosh,
I hadn't thought about that. Everything we sell is donated.
We don't buy anything.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
We have to depend on the people in the community
to donate.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
There were lots of paydays on Thursday night, I'd say, lord,
please put the money in the bank, because paydays tomorrow
I don't have it. And we always managed to make payroll.
I always didn't get paid, but we always managed to
pay the employees. It was a real learning process. We
really just struggle financially, just get by and keep our
(05:01):
doors open. But when the pandemic hit, people were home
cleaning out their closets and their attics and their garages.
Cassie and I and my niece worked at the store
every day just to keep the donations out of the
parking lot because people were.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Bringing them in like crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Not only did we get all the donations, people learned
about us that didn't know about us before, and since
then we are we're doing really well.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Today.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
We have about fifteen employees. It's very rewarding. Most of
my employees have been there a long time. I have
one young man that's worked with me ever since we opened.
He and Cassie were friends when we opened, and they
love working there.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
They do a good job.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
But it's like a new day every day because just
because you told somebody that those go in the floral
section one day, the next day you have to tell
them again. Sometimes my customers will mistake my employees for
being rude, and.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
I'll pull them aside. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I'll explain the situation. You know, here's our brochure, this
is what we're about. And most of the time they're
very understanding and then they're apologetic. But we do have
people that are just downright rude, and I just say,
we are here to give these people a safe work
environment where they can feel comfortable, and it's not tolerated
because all we want is to be loved and to
(06:21):
be treated with kindness.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
They work very hard, several of them. I have to say, Okay,
you need to sit down and take a break because.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
They work hard.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
The joke around the store is some days when we
would be overwhelmed, my niece, who has helped me from
the beginning, she would say, would you please quit praying
for furniture because God always supplies. I knew when I
walked out that door in Nashville, if that's what he
wanted me to do. I didn't have any idea how
I was going to do it. I had been through
(06:51):
so much with Cassie being sick and not being able
to work at times. But we never went hungry and
we never did without. So I have a pretty strong
fate and I knew that through this he would provide
and he has.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
It's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
A dream is open more stores and more cities to
help more people, because I mean, I don't know what
Cassie would do, and I don't know what the other kids.
And I call them kids, they're not kids, they're young adults,
but I don't know what they would do if they
didn't have a place to go to. I have a
young man that came to me at the time, he
couldn't count change, and his confidence just grew and grew
(07:30):
as he.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Worked for me.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
And now he has moved out of his mother's home,
has moved to Nashville and is working at a store
and he's assistant manager. And it just thrills me because
look what he's done, and had he set at home
and not done anything, it would be such a waste
and it's great to be a part of that. I
(07:53):
take no credit for this at all. It's a god thing.
He's just using me, and I just I tell Cassie,
I said, some good has come from all the heartache
and paying the Cassies had to go through.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And a great job on that piece by Madison, And
a special thanks to Donna Howard, the founder of Holding
Hands resale shop right here in Oxford, Mississippi. And we
tell stories from all around the country, and every once
in a while you'll hear stories from where we live too.
Oxford is a beautiful small town about an hour south
of Memphis, Tennessee. And well, like all communities, we come
(08:36):
together when we need to. And my goodness, finding out
that your daughter at the age of fourteen is diagnosed
with chronic paranoid schizophrenia, that's a tough one. And what
do you do about it? Well, Donna, well she taught
us all what to do about it. And she learned
about it from someone else in Nashville who taught her
what to do about it. A beautiful mother daughter story,
Donna Howard's story, her daughter Cassie's story too. Here now
(09:00):
American Stories
And we continue with our American stories, and up next,
we're going to hear from Donna Howard tell the story
of her daughter, Cassie, who was a teenager was met
with a diagnosis that changed her life. You'll find out
where that diagnosis has led Donna to today, to a
place where she can help not only her daughter Cassie,
but others under similar circumstances, and all while shedding light
(00:35):
on an illness that had kept them in the dark
for so many years.
Speaker 2 (00:41):
I was director of ideology at a hospital here in
Mississippi for many many years, moved to Arkansas, got married,
had three children, and in nineteen ninety Cassie became ill
on her fourteenth birthday. It was a Sunday afternoon. I
remember it very well. She came in the kitchen that
(01:01):
day and said, the new kids on the block are
saying happy birthday to me through the air conditioner.
Speaker 3 (01:07):
And that was AHA moment.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
I began to think back, and she had been telling
me things and I had not paid attention. I say this,
and I don't think people really understand when I say
she didn't sleep till she was five years old, And
I think now, was she hearing the voices and that
was normal to her. But there were many many nights
we didn't sleep. So I called the pediatrician and I said,
(01:33):
we need to talk to you, and so we met
him at the emergency room, and after about an hour
of him and her talking, he came out and he said,
she's got some serious, serious issues. She was in and
out of hospitals. Then it took a long time to
get a diagnosis because a lot of doctors didn't know
a lot about schizophrenia. It took us a year. We
went out to UCLA to the Neuropsychiatric Institute, and that's
(01:56):
where we got our diagnosis of chronic paranoid schizophrenia at
age fifteen. She was having such a hard time that
year that I don't think it really resonated with her
what chronic paranoid schizophrenia was. She just knew she was
hearing these voices that were very real to her. It
(02:18):
was very scary for her. It was hard to find
anybody to treat her. It was just a nightmare because
I couldn't get any help and I couldn't find any
peace for and I also had two other children at home.
She went to school until she was in the tenth grade,
and I finally took her out because here she was
a quiet, shy little girl sitting over in the corner crying.
So after six months of them calling me every day,
(02:41):
you know, we don't know what to do with her,
I finally took her out of school. So I had
to stay home and take care of her and educate
myself on what to expect and how to handle what
we were going through.
Speaker 3 (02:53):
It was extremely difficult.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Time because you didn't talk about My family wouldn't talk
to me about it. They didn't really understand it. And
that's when we decided she needed to get a job
that that might help. And we tried many jobs, and
I even paid one place to let her work there.
I paid them just to let her come in and
clean their equipment, just so she'd have something to do.
Speaker 3 (03:14):
Then she got a job and.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Worked at this grocery store, but the people were not
kind to her. They didn't understand her. She was twenty
years old. She looked like she should be able to
act like a girl woman and make decisions, and she couldn't.
And every day she would come home, I hate my job.
I hate my job. You know, I don't want to
do this. So I was in Nashville shopping with my
sister in law and we went into a thrift store
(03:38):
and we got to talking to the owner and he
had opened it to give his daughter a job because
she had autism. And we walked out the door and
my sister in law looked at me and said, you're
going to do that.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Aren't you. It took me four years. I retired.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Then I put what retirement money I had into it,
and I opened the store here in Oxford to employ
persons living with mental illness in a safe work environment
in hopes of helping them achieve independence and self respect.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Cassie was thrilled.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
She was very excited that she wasn't going to have
to work at the grocery store anymore.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
We started out with two employees.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
I had started getting donations before I opened the store,
and so we had a few things, not a lot.
But the first day we opened, a lady stole from
me the very first day, and I'm like, oh, my gosh,
I hadn't thought about that. Everything we sell is donated.
We don't buy anything.
Speaker 3 (04:36):
We have to depend on the people in the community
to donate.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
There were lots of paydays on Thursday night, I'd say, lord,
please put the money in the bank, because paydays tomorrow
I don't have it. And we always managed to make payroll.
I always didn't get paid, but we always managed to
pay the employees. It was a real learning process. We
really just struggle financially, just get by and keep our
(05:01):
doors open. But when the pandemic hit, people were home
cleaning out their closets and their attics and their garages.
Cassie and I and my niece worked at the store
every day just to keep the donations out of the
parking lot because people were.
Speaker 3 (05:15):
Bringing them in like crazy.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
Not only did we get all the donations, people learned
about us that didn't know about us before, and since
then we are we're doing really well.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
Today.
Speaker 2 (05:26):
We have about fifteen employees. It's very rewarding. Most of
my employees have been there a long time. I have
one young man that's worked with me ever since we opened.
He and Cassie were friends when we opened, and they
love working there.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
They do a good job.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
But it's like a new day every day because just
because you told somebody that those go in the floral
section one day, the next day you have to tell
them again. Sometimes my customers will mistake my employees for
being rude, and.
Speaker 3 (05:59):
I'll pull them aside. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (06:00):
I'll explain the situation. You know, here's our brochure, this
is what we're about. And most of the time they're
very understanding and then they're apologetic. But we do have
people that are just downright rude, and I just say,
we are here to give these people a safe work
environment where they can feel comfortable, and it's not tolerated
because all we want is to be loved and to
(06:21):
be treated with kindness.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
That's it.
Speaker 2 (06:23):
They work very hard, several of them. I have to say, Okay,
you need to sit down and take a break because.
Speaker 3 (06:29):
They work hard.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
The joke around the store is some days when we
would be overwhelmed, my niece, who has helped me from
the beginning, she would say, would you please quit praying
for furniture because God always supplies. I knew when I
walked out that door in Nashville, if that's what he
wanted me to do. I didn't have any idea how
I was going to do it. I had been through
(06:51):
so much with Cassie being sick and not being able
to work at times. But we never went hungry and
we never did without. So I have a pretty strong
fate and I knew that through this he would provide
and he has.
Speaker 3 (07:05):
It's pretty awesome.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
A dream is open more stores and more cities to
help more people, because I mean, I don't know what
Cassie would do, and I don't know what the other kids.
And I call them kids, they're not kids, they're young adults,
but I don't know what they would do if they
didn't have a place to go to. I have a
young man that came to me at the time, he
couldn't count change, and his confidence just grew and grew
(07:30):
as he.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
Worked for me.
Speaker 2 (07:31):
And now he has moved out of his mother's home,
has moved to Nashville and is working at a store
and he's assistant manager. And it just thrills me because
look what he's done, and had he set at home
and not done anything, it would be such a waste
and it's great to be a part of that. I
(07:53):
take no credit for this at all. It's a god thing.
He's just using me, and I just I tell Cassie,
I said, some good has come from all the heartache
and paying the Cassies had to go through.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
And a great job on that piece by Madison, And
a special thanks to Donna Howard, the founder of Holding
Hands resale shop right here in Oxford, Mississippi. And we
tell stories from all around the country, and every once
in a while you'll hear stories from where we live too.
Oxford is a beautiful small town about an hour south
of Memphis, Tennessee. And well, like all communities, we come
(08:36):
together when we need to. And my goodness, finding out
that your daughter at the age of fourteen is diagnosed
with chronic paranoid schizophrenia, that's a tough one. And what
do you do about it? Well, Donna, well she taught
us all what to do about it. And she learned
about it from someone else in Nashville who taught her
what to do about it. A beautiful mother daughter story,
Donna Howard's story, her daughter Cassie's story too. Here now
(09:00):
American Stories
Host
Lee Habeeb
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