December 9, 2024 • 20 mins
On this episode of Our American Stories, drug culture—the kind where your parent is a dealer—wrecked Teri Neal's life. Hear how her son inspired and encouraged her to build her life back by serving others.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:10):
And we returned to our American stories. Up next, we're
going to hear a story of faith, redemption, and overcoming.
Here's Terry Neil with her story, beginning with her childhood.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Their earliest memories of me, like four or five, I
knew what drugs were. It was just out in front
of us. It wasn't hidden, you know, they were so
wrapped up in their addiction. They just used kind of
in front of us. I could remember as just being
at different houses, like I would be with her aunts
(00:49):
or our grandma.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Or just back and forth.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
There was fighting between both families. When I was one,
my mom did leave my dad and she met my
stepdad about a week later and started using heroin with him.
So me and my sister were constantly back and forth
between my mother and my father. My dad wasn't addicted
to heroin, but he was an alcoholic and addicted to
(01:14):
other like psychedelic drugs, so we weren't cared for really well.
My mom started getting arrested when I was almost two,
so she was in and out of jail a lot.
So when we were with her, me and my sister
were with my grandmother. Her mother and my grandmother didn't
(01:34):
just have us. She had my cousins and I and
my sister. Out of my mother's family, there is five
children and all of them were drug addicts. So we
weren't cared for as well as we were supposed to
be because, you know, my grandma struggled having to take
care of a lot of our grandchildren. At one point,
there was like ten of us in one home with
(01:55):
my grandpa and her. We didn't get our own bend.
A lot of us slept on the floor in the
living room, on the couch. It was, you know, the
hard part about it was that, like my grandma and
my grandpa worked a lot and you know to try
and provide for us, so we weren't cared for properly.
You know, not that it's their fault, it was just
(02:15):
you know, too many kids. So there were times where
we didn't have food. You know, we weren't taking care properly.
I was not in school very often. There were times
where my sister and I missed like two years of school.
So like for me, I never went to the fourth
or fifth grade. I went straight from third to sixth grade.
(02:37):
So there was a lot of missed opportunities or learning
in our family as well, because my mom was in
and out of jail and using drugs, and when she
was out here, she was really wasn't taking care of us.
We kind of did every you know, what we wanted.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
So because my mom.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Didn't really care, we didn't really care, Like I didn't
feel like I needed to go, so so it wasn't
really like an important thing. I remember because even when
she was around, like my grandmother would be the one like,
they need to go to school, she needs to go
to school, you know, stuff like that. And then so
I remember, like my mom would say, you need to
(03:13):
pretend you're sick, like she would even encourage us, so
she didn't have to hear it from my grandma. So
it wasn't like it was just the norm. It wasn't
an important thing. And I think the only reason my
mom would make us go because back then, when you
get welfare, which my mom got for us, you have
to get things signed showing that your kids were in school.
(03:35):
So I remember, even when I got to junior high,
my mom would just go like, you need to go,
like just to get that thing signed up so we
could get money.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Like it was.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
School just wasn't important. I started using drugs and drinking.
At eleven, I had joined a gang. At twelve, I
had been you know, messing around and doing.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Stuff that I wasn't supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I started hanging around gang member like that's who we
were partying with when we were younger. So like my
girl cousins and they, you know, my girl cousin and
you know some of us, we all hung out with
the same gang members, and so we decided to join
the gang. It was just accepted in our family. My
mom was in a gang, my dad was in a gang.
(04:19):
My mom's brothers were in it. You know, they had
it tattooed all over them and when they were in
and out of prison too. So my stepdad was in
it too. He was all tattooed up. So it's just
the way we grew up. And that's kind of where
like all the drug addiction, because when you're in a gang,
you're doing drugs or being a part of this.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Whole other world.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
And that's how my parents got involved in that as well.
At the edge of twelve, my grandmother, my dad's mother,
actually not my mother's mother, erasist, but she had talked
to me about Jesus and It was really hard for
me to come to faith in Jesus Christ because my
mom got saved in prison. But when she would talk
about Jesus, she would say, like, Jesus saved, I'm going
(05:00):
to be so bermitted that.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
But then she would backslide, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
And back then when I was yelling, I would think, Okay,
whoever Jesus is, you don't work, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So I got.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Saved at twelve, but because I went home to the
same chaos, nobody poured into me. So I believed in God,
but I didn't know who really Jesus was. So I
had met a boy partying, was on and off with him.
My mom at the time had got arrested again, and
back then you would get a lot of prison time
(05:31):
for certain things if you continuously reoffended. And so that
time she had to go away for quite a while.
I believe it was almost three years that she went away.
And in between that time, I started my freshman year
of high school and I kind of just dropped out.
My stepdad at the time, who was my brother's father.
(05:52):
He was taking care of us, but he struggled with
his addiction and also sold drugs and things like that.
So we were kind of like the drug dealer house
in the neighborhood. So I really didn't have to go
to school because he didn't make me. So at the
age of sixteen, I had already been dropped out of
school and I ended up pregnant at sixteen. I was scared.
(06:16):
I didn't really believe that I was pregnant. I remember sitting,
you know, at the age of sixteen, sitting at the
clinic and thinking like it wasn't real, kind of and
I remember once the lady said, oh, you know, you're positive,
I just started crying, like uncontrollably crying because I think
it just hit me. And mind you, I was still
using drugs. I was still drinking and partying. So I
(06:39):
remember her telling me, oh, no, it's okay. You know,
you have options, and she gave me pamphlets and I
kind of didn't even look at the pamphlets because I
was so scared and just not really sure like what
was going on. So I went home and I called
my boyfriend and I said, hey, you know, I'm pregnant,
and I remember his reaction and I remember telling, you know, oh,
(07:01):
but we have options. And at the time, I had
already read the pamphlets, and the pamphlets literally were just
to abort my baby.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
They weren't any other option but that.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I just said, hey, you know, this is the choice,
and he's like, no, we're not killing a baby, like
this is going to be my baby. You know, something
kind of clicked in me. I don't know exactly. You know,
now that I'm older, I believe it was the Lord.
But something clicked in me, and I was like, Okay,
I gotta make a change in my life. Like I said,
I had been dropped out of high school. I was drinking,
(07:31):
doing drugs and stuff like that. So I was like,
I can't do this anymore. There were times in my
life that I remember, like going over a friend's house
when I was little and seeing their mom, or seeing
how they live in their family or they have a
nice house, or like I never felt right. So there
were times that I remember that I thought like, well,
(07:51):
that's different, or that seems you know, that must be
normal or something. So I remember when I got pregnant
to have my son, I thought, you know, I don't
want my kid to her. I don't want my son
to see me go away or beyond drugs, because it
hurt to see my mom like that. It hurt to
not have her there, you know, even though like I
was still you know, doing drugs or drinking and stuff
(08:12):
like that. You know, when you're a child, you always
want your mother or you know, your father. And we
were so poor, like we didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Get clothes to go to the next school year.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You know, we were singing the same old rundown clothes,
only one pair of shoes if it didn't have holes
or anything, you know, which even sometimes because we didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Have we would go steal.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And it's funny because when you grow up like that,
you don't think anything of it until you see other
people with you know better. But I know that when
I had my son, that really woke me up because
I want it better.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
And we've been listening to Terry Neil share her story
with us right up until the moment she got pregnant,
and what a rough childhood she had, what a rough
deck of card she was dealt. Mom was an addict,
dad was an alcoholic. Soon she was just about raising herself,
found her way into gangs, was doing drugs by the
age of eleven. At sixteen, she was a high school
(09:09):
dropout and pregnant, but she and her boyfriend decided to
keep their boy and as she said, when I had
my son, it woke me up. I wanted better. When
we come back, more of Terry Neil's story, a great
overcoming story here on our American Stories. And we're back
(09:39):
with our American Stories and with Terry Neil sharing her
life story. After becoming pregnant at sixteen while she was
in a gang doing drugs and drinking, Terry's boyfriend told
her not to give up to give their baby a
chance at life. This led to a change in her life.
Let's return to Terry.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Something switched in me where I was like, Okay, I
know I need to get a high school diploma because
I need to get a good job and I need
to get out of this house. I was still living
with my stepdad at the time and my little brother,
but I just knew that I needed to go back
to school. At the time, the district had a teen
parent program, so my sister helped enroll me and I
(10:23):
began going back to school. And that kind of triggered,
like basically like a series of events that were good.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
It was hard. My environment didn't change.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
My stepdad was still, you know, selling drugs and using
heroin and stuff like that. But I made a conscious decision,
you know, like every day to get up go to
school when I was pregnant, and then finally, at the
age of nineteen, I did graduate high school. My son
was almost three when I received that diploma, but it
(10:55):
just kind of helped me.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I managed to get a job.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
My sister at the time a house, so I moved
out with her and my son for a while, and
then I got pregnant again with our second child.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
During that time, I was still working odd jobs.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then I remember thinking, once I got pregnant, like
there's no way I could continue doing this. I hadn't
moved out of anybody's house or got my own place.
So I had my son, my younger son, and my
older son, and I went back to college. I ended
up becoming a single mom. Me and their dad didn't
stay together, so I then became a single mom and
(11:32):
had to raise my kids. And so at the age
of twenty one, my younger son and my older son
and I went back to college and I was just
going to get like a certificate of completion or something,
because I remember saying when I went to college to
sign up for classes. I told the college counselor, I
want to work in an office because at the time
I was doing manual labor. I was like detailing cars
(11:53):
and stuff. So I was like, I need a better job,
and I just knew like an office. I thought like
an office would pay well. When I did that, he
kind of laughed at me, but he kept asking me like,
you know, what have you always wanted to do? You know,
things like that, And I remember when I was younger.
It's a funny story, but when I was younger, I
used to go with my mom to go see her
parole officer, and I remember thinking, I want to be
(12:16):
that lady because she tells my mom.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
What to do.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
And so I was like, I know, when I was younger.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I wanted to be a parole officer or something in
law enforcement. And so he's like, you could still do that,
and so that kind of changed my direction and what
I majored in. So I ended up majoring in sociology.
They super encouraged me to continue to go and I
was the first person in both sides of my family
to get a master's degree. So I have a master's
(12:42):
degree in educational counseling. I didn't go into parole or probation.
I ended up liking the education side because I had
the counselors that really.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Motivated me to go.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
When I'm almost thirty, in my master's program, because it's
a counseling program, I had to choose a change, and
I remember, I was like, Oh, I'm going to become
more spiritual, you know, So that was like my goal.
And I was like, one of my young aunts had
asked me to attend a Christian church here in our area,
and so I went one one day and I just
(13:14):
remember I felt good, That's all I remember. So when
I chose the change in my master's program, you know,
and you have to record it and write about it,
I was like, I'm going to become more spiritual, So
I'm going to attend church every Sunday no matter what.
And at the time, I wasn't using drugs or anything,
but I was drinking, and I drank a lot. I
partied a lot with friends and going out to clubs
and stuff. I was single and you know, doing that.
(13:37):
So when I didn't have my kids, I would go out.
But then, you know, because addictionarines in my family, it
became almost you know, alcoholism innocent.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So I go start going to church, and I.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Would literally still go when I was hungover, like i'd
be Sunday. I was that person Sunday morning, hungover in church.
And mind you, and I was only going every Sunday
because I wanted to write a good paper for my
master's program. But what ended up happening was the Lord
just got a hold of me. And I remember our
pastor saying he was given an alto call, but he said,
(14:09):
like everybody's like, oh, you have ever seen Jesus, And
I remember I was.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Like, oh, I had Jesus when I was twelve. I
remember that.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
But then he said, maybe you gave yourself to Christ before,
but you haven't surrendered your life.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
And so I was like, that's me.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
But everything didn't change then. You know, I was trying
to give my life to Christ and really surrender, but
I was still hanging around with.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
The same friends, my party friends.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And one day.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I remember I was so, you know, one foot in,
one foot out. I was going to watch a Laker
game because you know, I love sports, and I was like,
I'm going to go watch a Laker game.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
And I remember praying, God, please don't let me get drunk.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Like I thought that was going to work, and so
there I go, but I ended up getting so drunk
that I woke up and I didn't even know where
I I was, and I was beat up. Apparently I
had got jumped, and so I went home and I
was crying, and I just cried out to the Lord
and I just remember God saying like, you're not bigger
than your sin. So I remember praying, God, I need
(15:14):
new friends, I need you that, and I kid you not.
Within a week, the Lord put a girl in my
path who went to my church that I had never met.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
She said, there's a women's retreat. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And I was like, I can't afford that, Like you know,
I was raising two kids.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I'm winn income.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I didn't get nhild support and I was like that's
a lot of money for me, and blah blah. She's like,
if you want to go, the Lord's going to provide
this woman out so much faith, and I was like okay.
And what I ended up happening was I got a
scholarship from our church. I went and that Sunday I
was like, I'm done. God, I don't want to leave
this mountain because it was up in our mountains here.
(15:52):
I don't want to leave this mountain the same person.
So literally that day I surrendered my life to Christ.
I came back down and I never drank again. I
stop having sex outside of marriage.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
The Lord just just took a hold of me because
I said yes, Like it was just amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
My faith in Christ has helped me through everything.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Prayers of family members throughout the years believers. It's made
me a strong believer in praying for anybody that I meet,
because I truly believe that we could literally be the
only person praying for that person. And I know that
prayers got me through my life and it's literally gotten
me to where I'm at today. My first real job
(16:38):
was working with at risk youth, so pouring into kids
that grew up just like me. There are kids who
same thing I have drug addicted parents and have really
anybody assisting them. I started working in group homes, which
are homes with kids that have are not fit enough
for foster care with their like in placement. Currently now
(17:00):
I'm working in a high school district and I work
part time for our local police department for a youth grant,
So I go into the juvenile hall once a month
with the group to talk to those youth and pour
into them and talk to them about like, you know,
me being a next gang member, me changing my life.
For my local district, there's a teenth the same teen
(17:23):
parent program, like I said, but it's now at the
high schools that I went into. So I've gathered a
few of my teen friends from back in the day
who are now grandmothers and older now with me. We've
gifted young teen moms with Mother's Day gifts and things
like that to show them how much we love them
and how they, you know, matter, and how they can
(17:44):
continue on. And it's so funny because when you go
to school and you learn all the statistics and things
like that, you're like, oh, my gosh, I should have
been this way, but I'm.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
This way, you know what I mean. So it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
By the grace of God, I'm able to be where
I'm at right now. You know, both my boys are
doing wonderful. My older son ended up joining the Marine
Corps after high school. He is currently on his second term.
My younger son ended up following in his brother's footsteps
and he's also a marine, so both of my kids
are marines. And for me, when I look back in
(18:21):
my life, my struggles are what.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Made me stronger.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
My struggles are what built character in me, resilience in me,
you know. And by the grace of God, my kids
have been able to you know, we've been able to
stop the cycle of addiction and abuse and teen pregnancy
as well, because.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
It's run in my family for so long.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
There was times where I was poor, to the point
of there was no food in our house because of
my mom's drug addiction. We were living out in the streets,
sometimes in a trailer, you know, homeless. I've lived in
some pretty horrible circumstances, but our family overcame that.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Wile I look back and I tell my son like
he saved me.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I didn't care about my life because nobody cared about me.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
When you don't have parents to pour into.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I was only one, you know, when she started using,
so I never had anybody tell me, you know, I'm.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Beautiful, I love you.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
You know You're going to be somebody, you know.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And I know my life would not have changed if
I didn't get pregnant. I know I would not be
where I'm at if it wasn't for that moment.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
And a beautiful job on the production, editing and storytelling
by our own Madison Derricott. And a special thanks to
Terry Neil twice pregnant, putting herself through high school, then
college majoring in sociology, the first person on both sides
of her family to get a master's degree, and she
goes to that woman's retreat and praise for new friends.
I don't want to leave this mountain, the same person.
(20:01):
So many of us have been on that mountain and
prayed that prayer and it was answered. She has two sons,
both marines, and as she said, I look at my
son and tell him he saved me, and so did
her God. The story of Terry Neil here on our
American Stories
And we returned to our American stories. Up next, we're
going to hear a story of faith, redemption, and overcoming.
Here's Terry Neil with her story, beginning with her childhood.
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Their earliest memories of me, like four or five, I
knew what drugs were. It was just out in front
of us. It wasn't hidden, you know, they were so
wrapped up in their addiction. They just used kind of
in front of us. I could remember as just being
at different houses, like I would be with her aunts
(00:49):
or our grandma.
Speaker 3 (00:50):
Or just back and forth.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
There was fighting between both families. When I was one,
my mom did leave my dad and she met my
stepdad about a week later and started using heroin with him.
So me and my sister were constantly back and forth
between my mother and my father. My dad wasn't addicted
to heroin, but he was an alcoholic and addicted to
(01:14):
other like psychedelic drugs, so we weren't cared for really well.
My mom started getting arrested when I was almost two,
so she was in and out of jail a lot.
So when we were with her, me and my sister
were with my grandmother. Her mother and my grandmother didn't
(01:34):
just have us. She had my cousins and I and
my sister. Out of my mother's family, there is five
children and all of them were drug addicts. So we
weren't cared for as well as we were supposed to
be because, you know, my grandma struggled having to take
care of a lot of our grandchildren. At one point,
there was like ten of us in one home with
(01:55):
my grandpa and her. We didn't get our own bend.
A lot of us slept on the floor in the
living room, on the couch. It was, you know, the
hard part about it was that, like my grandma and
my grandpa worked a lot and you know to try
and provide for us, so we weren't cared for properly.
You know, not that it's their fault, it was just
(02:15):
you know, too many kids. So there were times where
we didn't have food. You know, we weren't taking care properly.
I was not in school very often. There were times
where my sister and I missed like two years of school.
So like for me, I never went to the fourth
or fifth grade. I went straight from third to sixth grade.
(02:37):
So there was a lot of missed opportunities or learning
in our family as well, because my mom was in
and out of jail and using drugs, and when she
was out here, she was really wasn't taking care of us.
We kind of did every you know, what we wanted.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
So because my mom.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Didn't really care, we didn't really care, Like I didn't
feel like I needed to go, so so it wasn't
really like an important thing. I remember because even when
she was around, like my grandmother would be the one like,
they need to go to school, she needs to go
to school, you know, stuff like that. And then so
I remember, like my mom would say, you need to
(03:13):
pretend you're sick, like she would even encourage us, so
she didn't have to hear it from my grandma. So
it wasn't like it was just the norm. It wasn't
an important thing. And I think the only reason my
mom would make us go because back then, when you
get welfare, which my mom got for us, you have
to get things signed showing that your kids were in school.
(03:35):
So I remember, even when I got to junior high,
my mom would just go like, you need to go,
like just to get that thing signed up so we
could get money.
Speaker 4 (03:44):
Like it was.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
School just wasn't important. I started using drugs and drinking.
At eleven, I had joined a gang. At twelve, I
had been you know, messing around and doing.
Speaker 3 (03:56):
Stuff that I wasn't supposed to do.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
I started hanging around gang member like that's who we
were partying with when we were younger. So like my
girl cousins and they, you know, my girl cousin and
you know some of us, we all hung out with
the same gang members, and so we decided to join
the gang. It was just accepted in our family. My
mom was in a gang, my dad was in a gang.
(04:19):
My mom's brothers were in it. You know, they had
it tattooed all over them and when they were in
and out of prison too. So my stepdad was in
it too. He was all tattooed up. So it's just
the way we grew up. And that's kind of where
like all the drug addiction, because when you're in a gang,
you're doing drugs or being a part of this.
Speaker 3 (04:37):
Whole other world.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
And that's how my parents got involved in that as well.
At the edge of twelve, my grandmother, my dad's mother,
actually not my mother's mother, erasist, but she had talked
to me about Jesus and It was really hard for
me to come to faith in Jesus Christ because my
mom got saved in prison. But when she would talk
about Jesus, she would say, like, Jesus saved, I'm going
(05:00):
to be so bermitted that.
Speaker 3 (05:01):
But then she would backslide, you know.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
And back then when I was yelling, I would think, Okay,
whoever Jesus is, you don't work, you know.
Speaker 3 (05:09):
So I got.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Saved at twelve, but because I went home to the
same chaos, nobody poured into me. So I believed in God,
but I didn't know who really Jesus was. So I
had met a boy partying, was on and off with him.
My mom at the time had got arrested again, and
back then you would get a lot of prison time
(05:31):
for certain things if you continuously reoffended. And so that
time she had to go away for quite a while.
I believe it was almost three years that she went away.
And in between that time, I started my freshman year
of high school and I kind of just dropped out.
My stepdad at the time, who was my brother's father.
(05:52):
He was taking care of us, but he struggled with
his addiction and also sold drugs and things like that.
So we were kind of like the drug dealer house
in the neighborhood. So I really didn't have to go
to school because he didn't make me. So at the
age of sixteen, I had already been dropped out of
school and I ended up pregnant at sixteen. I was scared.
(06:16):
I didn't really believe that I was pregnant. I remember sitting,
you know, at the age of sixteen, sitting at the
clinic and thinking like it wasn't real, kind of and
I remember once the lady said, oh, you know, you're positive,
I just started crying, like uncontrollably crying because I think
it just hit me. And mind you, I was still
using drugs. I was still drinking and partying. So I
(06:39):
remember her telling me, oh, no, it's okay. You know,
you have options, and she gave me pamphlets and I
kind of didn't even look at the pamphlets because I
was so scared and just not really sure like what
was going on. So I went home and I called
my boyfriend and I said, hey, you know, I'm pregnant,
and I remember his reaction and I remember telling, you know, oh,
(07:01):
but we have options. And at the time, I had
already read the pamphlets, and the pamphlets literally were just
to abort my baby.
Speaker 3 (07:07):
They weren't any other option but that.
Speaker 2 (07:09):
I just said, hey, you know, this is the choice,
and he's like, no, we're not killing a baby, like
this is going to be my baby. You know, something
kind of clicked in me. I don't know exactly. You know,
now that I'm older, I believe it was the Lord.
But something clicked in me, and I was like, Okay,
I gotta make a change in my life. Like I said,
I had been dropped out of high school. I was drinking,
(07:31):
doing drugs and stuff like that. So I was like,
I can't do this anymore. There were times in my
life that I remember, like going over a friend's house
when I was little and seeing their mom, or seeing
how they live in their family or they have a
nice house, or like I never felt right. So there
were times that I remember that I thought like, well,
(07:51):
that's different, or that seems you know, that must be
normal or something. So I remember when I got pregnant
to have my son, I thought, you know, I don't
want my kid to her. I don't want my son
to see me go away or beyond drugs, because it
hurt to see my mom like that. It hurt to
not have her there, you know, even though like I
was still you know, doing drugs or drinking and stuff
(08:12):
like that. You know, when you're a child, you always
want your mother or you know, your father. And we
were so poor, like we didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:19):
Get clothes to go to the next school year.
Speaker 2 (08:21):
You know, we were singing the same old rundown clothes,
only one pair of shoes if it didn't have holes
or anything, you know, which even sometimes because we didn't.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
Have we would go steal.
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And it's funny because when you grow up like that,
you don't think anything of it until you see other
people with you know better. But I know that when
I had my son, that really woke me up because
I want it better.
Speaker 1 (08:47):
And we've been listening to Terry Neil share her story
with us right up until the moment she got pregnant,
and what a rough childhood she had, what a rough
deck of card she was dealt. Mom was an addict,
dad was an alcoholic. Soon she was just about raising herself,
found her way into gangs, was doing drugs by the
age of eleven. At sixteen, she was a high school
(09:09):
dropout and pregnant, but she and her boyfriend decided to
keep their boy and as she said, when I had
my son, it woke me up. I wanted better. When
we come back, more of Terry Neil's story, a great
overcoming story here on our American Stories. And we're back
(09:39):
with our American Stories and with Terry Neil sharing her
life story. After becoming pregnant at sixteen while she was
in a gang doing drugs and drinking, Terry's boyfriend told
her not to give up to give their baby a
chance at life. This led to a change in her life.
Let's return to Terry.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
Something switched in me where I was like, Okay, I
know I need to get a high school diploma because
I need to get a good job and I need
to get out of this house. I was still living
with my stepdad at the time and my little brother,
but I just knew that I needed to go back
to school. At the time, the district had a teen
parent program, so my sister helped enroll me and I
(10:23):
began going back to school. And that kind of triggered,
like basically like a series of events that were good.
Speaker 3 (10:32):
It was hard. My environment didn't change.
Speaker 2 (10:35):
My stepdad was still, you know, selling drugs and using
heroin and stuff like that. But I made a conscious decision,
you know, like every day to get up go to
school when I was pregnant, and then finally, at the
age of nineteen, I did graduate high school. My son
was almost three when I received that diploma, but it
(10:55):
just kind of helped me.
Speaker 3 (10:57):
I managed to get a job.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
My sister at the time a house, so I moved
out with her and my son for a while, and
then I got pregnant again with our second child.
Speaker 3 (11:07):
During that time, I was still working odd jobs.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
And then I remember thinking, once I got pregnant, like
there's no way I could continue doing this. I hadn't
moved out of anybody's house or got my own place.
So I had my son, my younger son, and my
older son, and I went back to college. I ended
up becoming a single mom. Me and their dad didn't
stay together, so I then became a single mom and
(11:32):
had to raise my kids. And so at the age
of twenty one, my younger son and my older son
and I went back to college and I was just
going to get like a certificate of completion or something,
because I remember saying when I went to college to
sign up for classes. I told the college counselor, I
want to work in an office because at the time
I was doing manual labor. I was like detailing cars
(11:53):
and stuff. So I was like, I need a better job,
and I just knew like an office. I thought like
an office would pay well. When I did that, he
kind of laughed at me, but he kept asking me like,
you know, what have you always wanted to do? You know,
things like that, And I remember when I was younger.
It's a funny story, but when I was younger, I
used to go with my mom to go see her
parole officer, and I remember thinking, I want to be
(12:16):
that lady because she tells my mom.
Speaker 3 (12:17):
What to do.
Speaker 4 (12:19):
And so I was like, I know, when I was younger.
Speaker 2 (12:22):
I wanted to be a parole officer or something in
law enforcement. And so he's like, you could still do that,
and so that kind of changed my direction and what
I majored in. So I ended up majoring in sociology.
They super encouraged me to continue to go and I
was the first person in both sides of my family
to get a master's degree. So I have a master's
(12:42):
degree in educational counseling. I didn't go into parole or probation.
I ended up liking the education side because I had
the counselors that really.
Speaker 3 (12:51):
Motivated me to go.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
When I'm almost thirty, in my master's program, because it's
a counseling program, I had to choose a change, and
I remember, I was like, Oh, I'm going to become
more spiritual, you know, So that was like my goal.
And I was like, one of my young aunts had
asked me to attend a Christian church here in our area,
and so I went one one day and I just
(13:14):
remember I felt good, That's all I remember. So when
I chose the change in my master's program, you know,
and you have to record it and write about it,
I was like, I'm going to become more spiritual, So
I'm going to attend church every Sunday no matter what.
And at the time, I wasn't using drugs or anything,
but I was drinking, and I drank a lot. I
partied a lot with friends and going out to clubs
and stuff. I was single and you know, doing that.
(13:37):
So when I didn't have my kids, I would go out.
But then, you know, because addictionarines in my family, it
became almost you know, alcoholism innocent.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
So I go start going to church, and I.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
Would literally still go when I was hungover, like i'd
be Sunday. I was that person Sunday morning, hungover in church.
And mind you, and I was only going every Sunday
because I wanted to write a good paper for my
master's program. But what ended up happening was the Lord
just got a hold of me. And I remember our
pastor saying he was given an alto call, but he said,
(14:09):
like everybody's like, oh, you have ever seen Jesus, And
I remember I was.
Speaker 3 (14:12):
Like, oh, I had Jesus when I was twelve. I
remember that.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
But then he said, maybe you gave yourself to Christ before,
but you haven't surrendered your life.
Speaker 3 (14:23):
And so I was like, that's me.
Speaker 2 (14:26):
But everything didn't change then. You know, I was trying
to give my life to Christ and really surrender, but
I was still hanging around with.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
The same friends, my party friends.
Speaker 3 (14:36):
And one day.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
I remember I was so, you know, one foot in,
one foot out. I was going to watch a Laker
game because you know, I love sports, and I was like,
I'm going to go watch a Laker game.
Speaker 3 (14:49):
And I remember praying, God, please don't let me get drunk.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Like I thought that was going to work, and so
there I go, but I ended up getting so drunk
that I woke up and I didn't even know where
I I was, and I was beat up. Apparently I
had got jumped, and so I went home and I
was crying, and I just cried out to the Lord
and I just remember God saying like, you're not bigger
than your sin. So I remember praying, God, I need
(15:14):
new friends, I need you that, and I kid you not.
Within a week, the Lord put a girl in my
path who went to my church that I had never met.
Speaker 3 (15:23):
She said, there's a women's retreat. Let's go.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
And I was like, I can't afford that, Like you know,
I was raising two kids.
Speaker 3 (15:29):
I'm winn income.
Speaker 2 (15:30):
I didn't get nhild support and I was like that's
a lot of money for me, and blah blah. She's like,
if you want to go, the Lord's going to provide
this woman out so much faith, and I was like okay.
And what I ended up happening was I got a
scholarship from our church. I went and that Sunday I
was like, I'm done. God, I don't want to leave
this mountain because it was up in our mountains here.
(15:52):
I don't want to leave this mountain the same person.
So literally that day I surrendered my life to Christ.
I came back down and I never drank again. I
stop having sex outside of marriage.
Speaker 3 (16:03):
Everything.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
The Lord just just took a hold of me because
I said yes, Like it was just amazing.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
My faith in Christ has helped me through everything.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Prayers of family members throughout the years believers. It's made
me a strong believer in praying for anybody that I meet,
because I truly believe that we could literally be the
only person praying for that person. And I know that
prayers got me through my life and it's literally gotten
me to where I'm at today. My first real job
(16:38):
was working with at risk youth, so pouring into kids
that grew up just like me. There are kids who
same thing I have drug addicted parents and have really
anybody assisting them. I started working in group homes, which
are homes with kids that have are not fit enough
for foster care with their like in placement. Currently now
(17:00):
I'm working in a high school district and I work
part time for our local police department for a youth grant,
So I go into the juvenile hall once a month
with the group to talk to those youth and pour
into them and talk to them about like, you know,
me being a next gang member, me changing my life.
For my local district, there's a teenth the same teen
(17:23):
parent program, like I said, but it's now at the
high schools that I went into. So I've gathered a
few of my teen friends from back in the day
who are now grandmothers and older now with me. We've
gifted young teen moms with Mother's Day gifts and things
like that to show them how much we love them
and how they, you know, matter, and how they can
(17:44):
continue on. And it's so funny because when you go
to school and you learn all the statistics and things
like that, you're like, oh, my gosh, I should have
been this way, but I'm.
Speaker 4 (17:54):
This way, you know what I mean. So it's crazy.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
By the grace of God, I'm able to be where
I'm at right now. You know, both my boys are
doing wonderful. My older son ended up joining the Marine
Corps after high school. He is currently on his second term.
My younger son ended up following in his brother's footsteps
and he's also a marine, so both of my kids
are marines. And for me, when I look back in
(18:21):
my life, my struggles are what.
Speaker 3 (18:23):
Made me stronger.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
My struggles are what built character in me, resilience in me,
you know. And by the grace of God, my kids
have been able to you know, we've been able to
stop the cycle of addiction and abuse and teen pregnancy
as well, because.
Speaker 3 (18:39):
It's run in my family for so long.
Speaker 2 (18:42):
There was times where I was poor, to the point
of there was no food in our house because of
my mom's drug addiction. We were living out in the streets,
sometimes in a trailer, you know, homeless. I've lived in
some pretty horrible circumstances, but our family overcame that.
Speaker 4 (19:00):
Wile I look back and I tell my son like
he saved me.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
I didn't care about my life because nobody cared about me.
Speaker 4 (19:10):
When you don't have parents to pour into.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
I was only one, you know, when she started using,
so I never had anybody tell me, you know, I'm.
Speaker 3 (19:19):
Beautiful, I love you.
Speaker 4 (19:22):
You know You're going to be somebody, you know.
Speaker 2 (19:25):
And I know my life would not have changed if
I didn't get pregnant. I know I would not be
where I'm at if it wasn't for that moment.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
And a beautiful job on the production, editing and storytelling
by our own Madison Derricott. And a special thanks to
Terry Neil twice pregnant, putting herself through high school, then
college majoring in sociology, the first person on both sides
of her family to get a master's degree, and she
goes to that woman's retreat and praise for new friends.
I don't want to leave this mountain, the same person.
(20:01):
So many of us have been on that mountain and
prayed that prayer and it was answered. She has two sons,
both marines, and as she said, I look at my
son and tell him he saved me, and so did
her God. The story of Terry Neil here on our
American Stories
Host
Lee Habeeb
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