A Wife’s Heartfelt Letter to Her Husband After Pregnancy Loss

On this episode of Our American Stories, Megan Bayer shares her touching letter of gratitude and healing to her constant companion through a struggle they will never forget.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:25):
This is our American Stories, and every month we tell
the stories of lives lost through miscarriage, still born birth,
and sudden infant death syndrome. And we do that because
in nineteen eighty eight, President Ronald Reagan declared October Infant

(00:46):
Lost Month, and a lot a lot of people know
about that, but so many people experience this, so many
families across this country. It's one of those things I
think more people need to talk. And we've had personal
experience here on the show with miscarriage and stillborn birth.

(01:06):
Me personally, my wife's best friend in Baltimore, Pam, she
had one miscarriage and oh my goodness, the grief. And
then she went back. She and her husband committed to
having another child, and she got pregnant. She was so happy,
but she was so scared, and then came the news
she lost another And I'd never seen that kind of
grief in my life. And so we bring you these

(01:28):
stories and we want to hear yours. By the way,
write to us will help you record your story. And
don't worry, we're not afraid to hear you cry. We're
out afraid of the grief and share it with others.
It'll help. Today's story comes from Meganbayer, who experienced a
stillborn birth, and in spite of the haze of her suffering,

(01:53):
she made the effort to write her husband a tribute,
a tribute of gratitude, graciously recorded.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
It for us.

Speaker 3 (02:03):
Together, we held our son, who was stillborn. In the
middle of the night. You helplessly watched your daughter take
her last breath on my warm, bare chest. You were
always calm, collected, and stoic, although grieving in your own
man way. As my world fell apart, somehow you did not.

(02:26):
I'm in awe that each and every single day, difficult
decisions and logistics were all part of your job. You
calmly stepped out for phone calls. You spoke to the
nurses and birth registrar. You made the arrangements with the
funeral home and met with them before I did, arranged

(02:48):
the cremations, and obtained death certificates. When insurance needed it,
you worked out all the payments with whomever needed paid.
Not one complaint ever crossed your lips through all those
long dark days. As my body healed and my heart
ached from the traumatic deliveries, you wrapped your arms around

(03:12):
me and held my soul so tightly. We cried together
many lonely nights as we grieved the path we ambisioned.
I think back in awe of the strength you displayed,
your determinations and wise decisions. You took off work from
my follow up appointments, made me dinner, and listened to

(03:34):
all my fears. When medical bills arrived, you made sure
they stayed out of sight, even when it didn't prevent
any tears. After long hours at work, you would come
home to me a sad and broken woman. You supported
me when I quit nursing and went back to waiting tables.

(03:57):
You encouraged me to go back to school and find
myself again. You knew when to listen and when to
challenge my reckless and crazy grit. You've been critical to
my success, frequently squashing seeds of doubt, never wavering in
your love and commitment to our pipe dream of one
day having a family. Each year, when the dates roll

(04:22):
by and you're the only one to notice, you genuinely
hug me, give me a kiss, and sometimes flowers are
in order. Late at night, Sometimes when my tears hit
your chest, you sigh a deep, sad breath before you
kiss me. Good night. Someday we will tell the true

(04:46):
story to our girls, all of the sad and intimate details,
the truth about our family story, not the Facebook fairy
tales I m envisioned. They will shed a tear for
the children that came before, maybe grateful for the lessons
we learned or the ones we had in store. Occasionally

(05:07):
gratefulness flows over me with the side of our stunning girls,
and I'm almost thankful for our losses. These girls have
changed our world. Life would be so different without them
and the visceral joy they bring. Yet still a silent
storm of sorrow leaves us constantly grieving. Nowadays, our life

(05:29):
keeps us busy. Love and laughter heals most of the pain,
but the ache and sorrow never really leaves. It just
simply hides away. Thank you for your endless dedication to
us in our tiny dream. The burden feels so heavy,
but you're so inspiring. You've gracefully carried more pain than

(05:53):
most will ever know. Thank you. It's a gesture that
I owe always know that I am here for you,
and I see the true man you are. You are
my husband, lover, and very best friend till death do
us part.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
And thank you for that, Megan, And in the end
we know we were talking about this and there are
two kind of husbands, a husband who gets a letter
like that and a husband who doesn't. And we love
bringing you these stories hopefully to inspire you to become
that man and also that woman, because listen to the
grace of Megan and the beauty of writing and what

(06:39):
we can all come over and come through and get
past with love and with patience. This is our American
Stories Megan's Story Infant Loss Month. We do this well
because we have to and because somebody has to. And again,
please share your stories with us. Men too, you.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Suffer this loss, will help you record the story.

Speaker 1 (07:30):
This is Lee Habib, host of Our American Stories, the
show where America is the star and the American people,
and we do it all from the heart of the
South Oxford, Mississippi. But we truly can't do this show
without you. Our shows will always be free to listen to,
but they're not free to make. If you love what
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(07:50):
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