July 24, 2026 • 46 mins
Top of the morning to you, con-gregation! Emmy-nominated Nicole Byer is on the show this week to break down the fake Irish heiress who scammed her way into a pot of gold worth around ninety thousand dollars. Plus, the car actually appreciates when you drive it off the lot if you didn't pay for it. Stay schemin!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Scaled, Come Robbaby and Frill Scared, Come.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Robby and froll Cab Goddess. What's Popping? Congregation is Schagirl
Lacy mostly aka scam Goddess and Guys, I'm so I
always say what do we say? Say it with me?
I'm so excited for today's guests, but for real, y'all, Okay,
this is the first time that we've had a repeat guest.
(00:34):
Uh the one the only I think for the whole season,
this will be the only repeat guest. Guys. She is
the Emmy nominated hilarious queen, one of the amazing hosts
of Nailed It. You love her podcast, Why Won't You
Date Me? You love her podcast best Friends, you love
her and everything that you freaking see. This is Nicole
(00:57):
Byer Guys, what's up, Nicole Lazy?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
What a beautiful intro. And I love that you tell
people to say things with you because I would love
to see someone like in their car just being like
just talking with you, feeling themselves.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I love it, right. I feel like, especially now, podcasts
are like you're just kind of talking to yourself, So
I want you to feel like I'm talking back, like
what did I say y'all so crazy. We would just
had a moment, so y'all get to keep that. Well,
we've talked about scams, Nicole and your relationship with scams,
(01:34):
and yes, yes, yes we talked. I remember you telling
me that you've you've fallen for some scams, right, have
I fallen?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I don't know if I fall I scammed. We talked
about me scamming my dad.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Ohkay, yeah, we did talk about you scamming your dad.
I thought it was a scam that you fell for.
Maybe I was wrong, Maybe I was wrong.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Maybe I don't remember, and I'm trying to rack my brain,
but I mean, I just bought a shitty bike from
a shitty company, and I think that that was a
fucking scam bikebury dot com. I got very drunk and
was googling bikes and you know, they paid for those
ads to pop up first, so I clicked on that
(02:11):
paid for ad. I found this purple bike that like
said it was a cruiser, But then I got it
there was a hole in it. So then I took
a picture there was a hole in the box, and
I sent that picture to the company and they were like, oh, well,
the thing that's poking through the box was there just
in case there was damage to the box during shipping.
(02:32):
I said, well, I don't know if I really want
to open the bike and like figure out other stuff
wrong with it. And they were like all right, and
you know, bat on me for not reading their return
policy where it's like you paid for the ship and back.
I don't know how much shipping is for a fucking
bike on my set. You know, it's probably probably it's
a heavy it's like seventy I don't know, not seventy pounds,
sixty pounds, forty pounds, I don't know. And then you
(02:54):
pay like a fifteen percent restocking fee. And I was like,
so I'm still gonna be out like fifty sixty maybe
eighty on this two hundred dollars bike. I might as
well just put it together. Put it together. This thing
is so fucking janky, like the gears just twist around.
And I didn't put it together. I can't do that shit.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I had a man, did you put it together? I
was about to be like, okay, this is that. That
was the scam right there.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You put the bike together, had a man put it together,
and he was like he followed the directions to a
tea and we could like the gears just spin. It
is such a shitty bike. So then I post about
how shitty it was and they're like, well, we started
a return for you, and I was like, yeah, but
I also told you I was gonna open it and
see how it was. And I opened it and this
is a piece of shit bike. I'm very entitled to
(03:42):
that opinion. And I'm like, so now you want me
to disassemble it, put this fucking shitty ass bike back
in the box. You want me to pay fifteen percent? No,
I'm just gonna donate it. Jacobaizaki was like, you should
donate it, and I was like, oh, yes, so I
might be able to use the frame because the frame
isn't bad.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
The wheels are bad, the handles are bad. I thought
you were saying you're gonna donated to a place where
it was like gonna be some little keyd riding this
junky ass bike. I'm like to go that right.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Imagine I donated to like kids and need a bike
and then they die on this Bikeberry dot Com bike.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Also, I feel like a bike is something that most
people buy in person. Am I crazy? I feel like
this is very ambitious of you to like buy a
not a do it yourself bike.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I know, I know. It was very ambitious. I thought
I was getting a good deal. But you get what
you pay for. Uh.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
John was like.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
My roommate was like, yeah, you have to go sit
on the bike and see it in person.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I suck.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
All right, I give up, I'll go I'll go sit
on a bike another day.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I think that's the right choice, because look, I won't
even do a sour dough starter. So you are very brave.
You are very brave to buy a whole bike in
a box. It's my bike and a box. It's a
bike and my box. Oh goodness. Let's get into what's
hot and fraud. I need to name Nicole for this person.
Mm hmmm. This person probably identifies as a woman, but
(05:07):
I don't care. You can it can be any name
you want in the world. Okay. I love that you're
really giving this a lot of thought.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Okay, you just just a name, just a name for
a person. Okay, let's call her Teresa. What a basic name?
You did all that, I think all that time, and
I came up with Teresa. No, she'll sh Shamika. That's
my cousin.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I like, I know some Shamika's. They're nice, most of them.
They can fight. Can your cousin fight? Does she does?
She look like you can fight.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
I think Shamika could take you on on a fight.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
She's tall.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Oh, Okay, she's a tall woman.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I've never met a Shamika that couldn't fight, so that
that's just something they're skilled that. Okay, it's not the
wrong with that. So Shamika says, I did this scam
a decade ago when I was a young, broke adult
and it worked out well at the time. Okay, she says,
in my state home state of Montana, Smika. Okay, Shemika
is definitely white. I just looked at the Google photos
(06:16):
said also, she said my homestate of Montana, and that
made me shoot my eyes back up to the photo
because I was like, yeah, is there black in Montana.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I went to Billings, Montana once, and to get to Billings, Montana,
I think I flew to whatever their capital is or
whatever their big city is, and then got on the
tiniest fucking plane to get to Billings and the black
flight attendant looked at me as I got on the
plane and said honey, you going to the right place.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And I was like, well, if she's asking, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Then I got there and I was like, m now
I know why she was.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
She was worried about me. She started smiling and the
tears came. Yes. She was like no, no, no, no
no yes, she was no, no, no, Get get off
the plane, get out. I feel like you went to
one of those towns where like they have a popular
sign and then it like goes up when you get there.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yep, uh huh, I goes right back down when I
left the next day.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Were you there for work or something? Why were you? Okay?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I was doing a show at a college. College shows
have truly taken me to the wildest, most racist, smallest
towns I've ever been to.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And it's funny because they hired you. Correct now, now,
I'm you are very funny and you're very talented and
very beautiful and the cole But part of me wonders
if they hired you because they were like, this is
our one chance to lay eyes on a black person.
We're gonna have to pay them, but they will come.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
A lot of campuses are pretty liberal, like you'll be
smack dab in the middle of like Confederate flag country,
like I was in Arizona, got off the plane, tons
of Trump flags. This is in twenty fifteen, and like,
you know, Confederate flags. I saw like a people of
swastika somewhere and then got to the campus and it
was like hippy dippy people with like neon hair, and
(07:57):
I was.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Like, what the fuck did I do.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
It's so it's like once you crossed over into the college,
they're like higher learning, We're inclusive, we want to love everybody.
So but also maybe it is just to see a
black one one time.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I'm sure it was because you're very funny, but also
I'm sure afterwards they were like, Wow, that's what it's like, guys,
a black person. Oh my god. Did you do meet
in person?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I usually do meet. They got to talk to you.
They did. They did.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
In one college, a woman gave me lotion and I
was like, is this a dig?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I was like, am I?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I guess I'm notoriously ashy. I always post pictures and
I look so ashy. And it was a white lady
and I was like, oh no, if they know, no,
not if they know.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Look, white people don't know about ashness. They don't know
about it, but I will say that Jaquith says that
it's racist when people don't have lotion in the bathroom
because black people need lotion after they wash their hands.
So maybe maybe she was just trying to help you out.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Maybe maybe she was. She was like, there's no lotion
in Billings, Montana. Not one Walmart carries a single drop
of lotion.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
White people do need lotion. They do, but they don't
know that they need it. Oh you know what, now
it's their chance, y'all lotion. Everybody needs it? Yes, everybody. Wait,
here's the indication. Okay, I think this is gonna be
indicative if she was being shady. Was it like a fragrant,
like a nice lotion or did she give you some jargons?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
No, it was actually very nice lotion. I cannot say
the name of the company. I've been laughed at before.
Leoctane lost Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
God, yep, no, no, no, no, listen. I didn't know either.
I had a boyfriend in college and he spoke fluent
French and one time I was like, oh, I love
Octane was.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I was like, oh, luxititumb that's so I'll never remember
that name luxit doom.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
What a treat lux it dom rolls off your tongue
though you're giving me face, remember it? Well, No, that
she was trying to flegs. She went and got you
some good lotion. I think that was a shade. That
was a shade.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Okay, she was being nice, all right.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
So back to Shamika, who was definitely white. She says,
in my state of Montana, we have a quit line
you can call for free anti smoking items like gum
and patches. I took it upon myself to call the
quit line and have the short conversation about my smoking habits.
They agreed to send me the patches, and every two
weeks I need to have a fifteen minute conversation with
(10:35):
them to check in on how I'm doing. That's interesting
to me because it's like, if people want to quit,
then why do I need to Like they're like, oh, hey, yeah,
you want to quit. So how was this week? How
many cigarettes did you have? How much to like, how
much tobacco did you lick on?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Like?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
What is this conversation? Lick up? Well, quitting is very hard.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
I've tried to quit smoking, uh no, less than four times,
ten times one hundred times.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Uh, and it's hard. I will say that I was
never into smoking cigarettes, but for a four month period,
I was jeweling like I was a fifteen year old.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Well yeah, you just puff on them inside. It was
that's so wild that you weren't a smoker, but you
were like, but jewel, I'll do that, tell.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Me because you know, we do comedy and we'll be
outside of bars and shit afterwards, and you know, you
have a few drinks and then people would be like
jeweling and I'd be like, sometimes back in the day,
I would like bum a cigarette. So it wasn't like
a big deal to like, you know, do that. So
I was like, oh, shuel. Then I was like, oh,
it's not sanitary, just like puff someone else's jewel. I'll
just go grab my own for whenever. And then I
meg up and the call, I kid, you not jewel
(11:45):
pods everywhere like fucking chargers everywhere. And I didn't know
when I had become this person. I had a jewel
charger in my car, so I really plug it in
my car and keep the jewel charged all day. I
had no idea idea that I was so ridiculously addicted
to it.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
So the commercials are real when there's a team that's
like it started with one puff and next thing I
knew my life revolved around jewel.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I was sucking dick for jewel, like it.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You know, that's when times it was rough, when you
were sucking dick for a cigarette or a jewel.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
They're not cheap either, And those pods are not cheap.
How much are those pods? Those pods? Depending on what
story you're going to, some stores will really rip you
off and they'll be like thirty five for a four pack, yam,
and then some places it's twenty seven for a four pack.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Damn. You know, I missed the days where you could
share a cigarette with a friend or drink after a friend.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Never again, Never again.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
We was fucking nasty now, like you know, like now
that I think about it, like I kind of like
wearing a mask, especially like working, because like people get
so close to you, to mike you, and now it's
so nice that like we're not breathing on each other.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I think it's great. I also think it's a wake
up call to people who had hot ass bread and
we can never tell people that they breath hot, Like
can we normalize telling people that their breath as hot
as fuck, because there's people sending my eyelashes off and
now I know they gotta smell that. They gotta have
it own, not just right back up.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
And there I was at a protest and I was like,
oh no, I think I have bad breath. And then
so she was like, did you wash? When's the last
time you washed your mask? And I was like wash.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But now I'm in it. I'm in the game. I
realize it's like.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Clothing, you gotta wash it every couple of days.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
So I'm in it. Yes, I've had I've had to
go out with a funky mask once or twice and
I was like, this is fucking torture. Just it's awful scarce.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
God.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
But yeah, so, oh my god, I've never admitted. Am
I gonna maybe I'll cut that out. About the duel thing.
I don't know if I'm ready to tell you guys
that I was doing that, but I was, I was.
I guess I'll be honest. I mean, you don't have to.
Don't do juil. You don't want the information out there.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I rarely talk about smoking because people look down on
you so much and they're like, just quit it's not good.
And I'm like, you don't think I know we're in
a pandemic and I'm hiding in my house because I'm
more susceptible.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
To like I have bad lungs. I know, I know
what I've been doing, right, And it's like and people,
but that's what Maybe this will be a cautionary tale
for someone out there. Guys, don't jewel. Don't jewel, it's bad.
Don't jewel. Don't start. Don't start, No for real, don't start.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
It's like I had to learn how to smoke. I'm
not an inherent smoker, so I would like sit in
my garage and like inhale and then cough and then
slowly inhale halfway hold the other half in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
It was why for what?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
And now it's you know, twenty dollars every couple days,
just so I can get my little fixed.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Oh, it's a thank you, Big Tobacco. That's a scam, right, oh,
the biggest, one of the biggest. It's crazy that Big
Tobacco also pays for all the ads that warn you
about cigarettes. Because that's like doy, that's like they're rule,
like there are a thing with the government is like
Philip Morris, like they have to pay for those ads.
They pay for the truth. Yes, with the little black
(15:11):
kids like I would never smoke because I can't let
my hood down. And now we about to dance play basketball?
Why are those commercials like that.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
That? I mean, yeah, black commercials. Sometimes I'm like, who
did this? Was it a black person or is this
a white person projecting what they think black culture is.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
If you want to see a TV show where you
can very much tell where everyone on it was white
who was writing for the black people? I highly recommend
In the Dark. I think that's what it's called on Netflix.
That's the show about the blind woman who becomes a detective.
They don't even.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Sound right, but I'm not being ablest, but maybe I
am being ablest.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I feel like that would be just a real uphill.
Bad it is, and that's why the show was fun
to watch, because you're watching her like she's impressive, but
then she she saw in the murder of her her
little black friend who saved her once from a mugging.
But he's a drug dealer. But like he's clearly a
British actor and the whole thing is written by white people.
(16:21):
You can just tell that they never they'd never heard
of drug dealers before they did. They probably watched the
wire a little bit, and we're like, I can do that.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I once did a McDonald's commercial where McDonald's, you know,
perhaps to them, they have a whole website four black people.
It's called McDonald's three sixty five and they and it's
like they talk about black history all year round.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
But I that's.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
How, you know. But I did this voiceover. It was
me and uh two or three other black women, and
I don't remember if I had auditioned for it, but
they were like, all right, let's go for it. And
my line was don't steal my French fries. So I
said don't steal my French fries, and they were like
can you? And then I was like, sass it up.
(17:07):
And then the other women laughed and I was like.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Don't steal my French fries.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
And then the other women sounded just like me, and
they were like a girl, that's my call.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I'm gonna keep it in a French fry year.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
And then after all three of us did it like that,
the whoever, I guess it was, whoever, like the producers
or whatever, the buyers were like, Okay, let's just go
back to your normal voices. And I was like point made.
I like, I love that we made that point because
it was like, if you want a minstrel show, that's
what you can have, or you can have like just
(17:42):
three black women talking.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It was why I'm gonna take that with me because
that is an excellent wage. Not who's also like, why
are the lines like y'all getting robbed? Your bet don't?
Because I know you, like what why are you getting
robbed in this commercial?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
So sheher has a pretty good joke about it. I
can't remember. It was like the Black Blinds to Go
where it was like.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
You can't see in my house.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
It was based on a commercial. And then I have
a joke about McDonald's and how my god. Sometimes they're
just like my baby daddy took me to get a
mc rib and I was like they both back and
You're like.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What fu fuck they go back.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I'm leaving.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm leaving. I have to go home, and I'm at home,
So guys, what a wild tangent. But to wrap up
Shamika White Shamika's letter, uh huh. White Shamika says after
she would have her conversations where she talked about how
hard it was, and actually we just talked about how
hard it is, and so I understand these conversations now.
(18:49):
She said, I received all three stages of patches, not
sure how many in total, but as soon as I
got them, I put them up for sale on eBay,
and I had no problem selling them for thirty or
forty dollars a box. I know I made a few
hundred dollars doing this, and eventually I just ignored their
calls and quit getting the patches. I'm terrible, signed Shamika.
(19:10):
Just in case you forgot what we were talking about
when we went on these tangents. I did Shamika maybe
never smoked cigarettes, or if she did, she didn't quit,
or she just called the quit line, got the very
expensive free quitting materials, and then she went to eBay
and she slanged them.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
You know, I don't knock the hustle.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I really don't, Shamika. I fucks with you like I think,
come on in Montana. Yes, get it, Shamika.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
I think Shamika is an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yes, she's a what are they calling when you're a
woman entrepreneur? A entrepreneur. I thought we had a word
for that, do we were? We just put her in
it or something? Entrepreneur?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Entrepreneur truly sounds like something wrong with like a herniated disc.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, oh disc. Yeah, you're right. It's not very motivating, don't.
We don't need that one. So this is my favorite
segment of the show, Historic Hoodwinks, where I will regale
Emmy nominated Nicole Byer with I just have to sprinkle
it in like seasoning a.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Little bit, because honestly, it truly is such a wild thing.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Who would have thought I would have? Who would have thought?
Black Queen? I love it. So I'm gonna regale her
with the Historic Hoodwink and we're just gonna get her
thoughts and opinions along the way. Today we're talking about
a man named Jonathan Walton, a producer on American Ninja Warrior.
That's that show where the athletic people hurt themselves. Yeah,
(20:45):
and they do an obstacle course, so you watch it
hoping that they fall. Yes. So he was conned out
of nearly ninety thousand dollars by his best friend. Gonna
put that in quotes Mayor Smythe mayor claimed to be
a royal Irish heiress waiting to inherit five million euros.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
So wait a minute. If I ever met somebody, if
I ever met somebody who was like, just see you know,
I'm an heiress and I'm gonna inherit five million dollars,
I'd be like, so you good with money?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I don't have to give you shit, right, good, you're
about to get it. But I'm about to get it though, girl, Like,
I just need the texts and fees.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
No, don't worry about it. You can pay for all
that once you get your inheritance.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
So I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you some things that
are gonna make more sense as to why maybe this
worked on him. Okay, So the first time that Jonathan,
who was forty five, met this woman who became his
best friend and turned into his worst enemy, obviously, she
was offering to help with his building's pool. So Walton
lived in a bunker Hill apartment complex in downtown Los Angeles.
(21:50):
Where is bunker Hill here? I don't know where bunker
Hill is, but it says downtown LA. I don't live
down there, so it says they lost access to their
stunning pool. Amid a dispute with another building. These are
a Champagne problems. So we're like, we lost the pool. Also,
what do you mean to dispute with another building? Y'all
was fighting that building. I really want to imagine people
(22:13):
punching brick, but I know that's not what's happening. So
when Walton, an earnest and animated former news reporter, held
a meeting about the incident in his living room, about
thirty people showed up because they're trying to get the
pool back. Guys, I guess. So that meeting is where
he met forty something year old woman with jet black
hair in a pixie cut. Ooh, she's a manic pixie
(22:35):
dream girl who soon took charge of the conversation. She
was dressed in pastel colored clothes, shoes that looks high end,
and she spoke with the slightest trace of an accent,
which I'm assuming is an Irish accent, which is a
hard accent to do.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, did you just like a trace of I would
think it's harder than just fully getting into it.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
The only think saying I want the pool to come back.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I don't whoop whoop wood.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
That was really good. That was better than anything I
could do. I literally went to They're magically delicious, like
I could never they.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Stole me like of charms and took away at my pool.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Well this worked. Also, I feel like he must have
equated her just casually wearing pastels as someone who's like rich.
I'm trying to think. I don't see a lot of people,
just like unless you're at Coachella, you don't just see
people who are walking around in full past not like
head to toe in pastel.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
But now I'm thinking about maybe I gotta get more
pastel in my life.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Right? Is that how I shall people?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I'm a real fancy holl is me like I got
manny I'm wearing lavender?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Maybe because I really don't see it that often. So.
She said during her conversation where she had taken over
that she was a luxury travel agent and her boyfriend
was a prominent real estate lawyer. She said that she
had sued their own apartment complex a couple of times,
and one, oh, how do you ever needed to sue
your apartment? Well, I mean you live in a house,
(24:09):
but when you lived in an apartment, did you need
to sue them?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
No? No, no, no no. Although my landlord. Oh maybe
I talked about this last time. My landlord was running
a scam, so he was like, you can give me
or the super your rent. And then a couple of
years down the line, there was a note on the
building that was like, do not let Lewis in the building.
He was in buzzling money. And then in the paper
(24:33):
we were like, oh shit, Yeah, he was like in
buzzling money and send his kids to private school, which
I was.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Like, you know, that's nice. That's a nice kid. You
know that's nice. We need to children, let them lead
the way.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Yes, but no, I've never had to sue my apartment.
I don't pay rent. I never paid rent on time.
This is the first time in my life where I've
paid my living expenses on time because it comes out
of my bank account.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Oh right, because it's like auto withdraw. Yeah, I'm childish.
I won't that, and I know that I could withdraw
forever and I'd probably be fine. But I every month,
I just get the email and I begrudgingly go over
there and like hit the payment button. And I don't
know why I do it. I think I get like
high from it. Sometimes I'll wait because I only get
till the third. I don't even get till the fifth
before you get a late fees. So I'm like, you
(25:18):
only get to the third third, girl, they don't play.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
My apartment in New York, when I finally moved out,
I would also never pay rent on time. I would
pay like three months at a time. After the three months,
and then when I finally moved out, they were like,
your last month of rent is due. And I was like,
that's why you bitches have security and they're like, no,
the security's covering all your late fees.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And I was like, I don't.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Live here no more, so I this is pay dable.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
You really are a scammer. She was like, that's why
you got that deposit, but bye mate. So she's very charismatic.
She's bantering with the neighbors. She sued the building a
bunch of times. I imagine her going to like Judge
Joe Brown suing the apartment building. I hope that's where
it happened, and her story is that she in time
(26:05):
would also mention that she was palsed with Ashley Judd
and show him a closet full of allegedly thousand dollars
designer shoes and share that she had a psychic gift. Now,
I know what you're thinking. If you met somebody and
they were like, hey, I'll be sawing my apartment buility
every other Thursday. I own thousand dollars shoes. Ashley Judd
(26:26):
is my homegirl, and also I'm a psychic. Like, if
you heard all of that at one time, you would
be like, bitch, what's going on?
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I would be like, I should stay away.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
From this fucking person. This is too much. But they
were friends for four years before she scammed him.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Honestly, bravo, this is bravo.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
What a long time, right. I was very impressed. So
I get how over the years, if you have a
casual conversation, like my homegirl would be like, girl, you
know I'm a brew ha, And I wouldn't think that's crazy.
I was like, yeah, you're a brewha. But I know
her for years. I was like, sure, you're a brewhaw.
She hasn't asked me for ninety thousand dollars yet, but beware, right,
but she has shown me some nice clothes, she is
friends with some famous people, and she's a brewhaw. So
(27:10):
technically I already know somebody like this I'm just saying
she worked it in a way. I was like, all
seems legit seems normal. So she unwound her story over
many many meetings, like we were just talking about and
later on, in a visit to her apartment, Walton glimpsed
at a small frame printed on what Smith said was
the Constitution of Ireland. So it's her last name is Smith.
(27:33):
So he looked at this frame and then he was like,
what is this And he was like, oh, this is
the Constitution of Ireland, you know, casual hanging in my
living room. She said that her great uncle had signed it,
she explained, pointing out his signature. Later, she said that
the same great uncle had just died and stood to inherit.
She's sit inherent part of his twenty five million dollar
euro or excuse me, a million euro inheritance, which is
(27:57):
about twenty seven point five million dollars mm hmm. So,
in keeping with her image as a wealthy and worldly heiress,
she occasionally showed Walton texts and emails from her friends,
like Ashley Judd, whom she had met in college. Ashley,
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, truly that her name is dragged all over this.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Also like, is she like read labeling somebody's number in
her phone Ashley Judd and texting her fribubly.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
But also what a wild person to pick no shade
to Ashley Judd. But she's not well, I guess, honestly,
what a smart peck because she's not super famous. But
like we all know Ashley Judd's name.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Well, didn't Harvey Weinstein her career? I think that's why
Ashley Judd, girl, I could be absolutely wrong about that.
Let me say allegedly allegedly, and by allegedly, I mean
I thought that. But last time I came on here
and I said that Michael Jackson's song at the end
where they go Mama Sam and Masada Mama Gusa, I
(28:59):
was like, it's actually words, guys, it means I'm gonna
keep going on. I'm not gonna stop. I'm gonna keep going.
I definitely don't anybody that was true And they're like, no,
it's not.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
That is I love that you just up on her
lying of people. People be telling their friends facts that
they learn from Lacy and then they're like, girl, that's
not it, that's not no, she's lying to you that.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
The scam facts are true, guys, we researched. I swear,
but anything that I say off the cuff could be
a lie. But it's not a lie. I believe it.
I remember. That's how the truth works. I taught you at.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
That's what I honestly believe.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
So due to her family's money, she said that she
didn't need a job, but preferred to keep busy, working
for luxury tour operators uh sure, Pacific Islands dot com
and later as a psychic. In the time Walton knew her,
she also had several plastic surgeries, including what he recalls
as a nose job, a breast enhancement, and some LiPo section.
(30:00):
She's an LA girl. Yes that lay snatched gating lip fillers.
Uh huh, y as you do. She's she's a housewife.
I love it, not mad at all. So they have
this really close friendship. He opens up to her her
about his family and about his sexuality and how some
(30:20):
people didn't accept him. She understood how painful alienation from
family members, could be, she said, revealing that her cousins
were trying to get her disinherited the drama, so she
showed him nasty texts and emails from these cousins, especially
one named Fenton, who occasionally wrote in Gaelic. Walton was
(30:41):
enthralled with the family drama, so she basically was like,
I wouldn't be surprised if this was like all the
plot of several Tyler Perry movies that she is see.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
She puts, I'm gonna do my own. I mean, Tyler
doesn't take too much time to produce them. I think
she took more time to produce a Tyler Perry movie
then Tyler takes to produce his own. To produce these emails,
you might be right, and I'm not being shady, because
he very quickly shoots seasons in the matter of weeks,
and he does which is wild.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
And I know actors who work for him, and they
work very hard. It was like shout out to y'all
because who long days, long long days. And wigs the
wig wigs on wigs on wigs, the wigs. Just if
you could manifest struggle into a hair piece, those wigs.
(31:34):
They're rough bub run. So basically, she moves to a
new loft and they call each other all the time,
tell each other that they love each other. So now
let's get into her inheritance by April twenty fifteen, homegirl
(31:57):
had come to Walton with tears, cats skating down her face,
asking for a loan. So the first loan that she
got was for forty two hundred dollars. Then she came
back and says she needed another fifty eight hundred dollars
to pay rent at her new loft, which is crazy
(32:18):
because she had an inheritance.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Right yes, and she's a psychic, so she didn't see
it coming, and she didn't move before she couldn't afford
to pay it.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
She did not move before she could afford to pay it.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Okay, it out.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
She said that her great uncle's will contain a claw
stating that anyone with a convicted felony would be exempt
from the will. Walton voiced his fears that Smith's cousins
might frame her to push her out of the will.
So this is one. So in twenty fourteen, walton speculation
seemed to come true. He received a collect call from
a detention facility that Smith had been arrested on charges
(32:50):
that she had stolen about two hundred thousand dollars from
Pacific Islands dot Com, which is the travel agency that
she worked for. So she basically sold this his life, like,
my cousins are setting me up. That call that you
got from jail, that's fencing in them? Was it in Gaelic?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
I mean this is exhaustly honestly, the amount of work
she put in, she could have just gotten herself a job.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
This is this is work, this is what. That's the
thing about scamming. People think scamming is not work. Scamming
is an employment. It's a profession. I'm honestly upset that
scammers can't get unemployment right now because they have been
self employed. And you know that's something we need to
work on. H they won't. They need they stimulus too.
We need a scam.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Stimulus for robbery.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Okay, how you gonna be doing robbery when everybody in
their house?
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Truly, I was just thinking that the other day. I
was like, how do you rob a house if everybody
is home?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
So, just like hairdressers can't do hair in person, robbers
can't do their normal robbers exactly. So everybody's really hurting
right now. So I feel for I feel for my
I do. So cut back to She's crying to him,
like I need this money. I gotta go down to
the Attorney's office because they done froze my bank accounts,
(34:14):
the LA District attorney froze my coins up because they
think that I did this robbery at this job that
I definitely worked at, But really was my cousins who
had set me up. But for some reason the jail
called you. But it was my cousins who had put
me in jail from Ireland. This makes sense.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
I mean, the favor that he felt for that is
so wild.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
She was thrown a lot at him at once. It
was probably a lot to process, yeah, you know, and
he's like, but that's my pastel friend, right, and she
he came out to her about his lifestyle like she
accepted him. So they had an emotional relationship. So it
makes sense. So he wrote her a cashier's check, which
those are the checks that.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Go that's money that's liquid.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
So he agreed that. She said when she regained acces
to her bank account or received her inheritance, she would
pay him back. In the meantime, she moved back into
Bunker Hill Towers for a relatively cheaper rent. With a
case still ongoing, she asked him for another thirty eight
hundred dollars the next month, for rent. Over the year,
as it passed on and dragged on, with Walton receiving
(35:18):
frequent updates, she was still asking him for money. So
in September twenty sixteen, she finally came and just really
got the bag. She said that, Hey, they're gonna give
me a plea agreement for this money that I didn't
steal from my job, that my definitely my cousins had
framed me from a different country. Great plea agreement. I'm
getting fifty thousand dollars and served jail time, but I'm
(35:42):
gonna need fifty thousand dollars from you.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
And this man gave her fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
He forked over nearly sixty thousand dollars. Yeah, and he
also loaned her two thousand dollars for the lawyer to
help her avoid eviction. Because then she wasn't paying rent.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Then what was she spending the money on. This man
needed to ask questions. I would be like, what how, No,
he didn't ask a six so he just had sixty
thousand dollars laying around. This man is a smart man
to have that much cash, Like, well, he worked a.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
TV so you know he might have been getting the checks,
I mean, damn, And he's why he believed her. He
believed that she was going to repay him. But one
day during her February twenty seventeen sentence, when Walton logged
onto the jail's website to schedule a visit, he clicked
on her profile at the La County Sheriff's website and
he noticed something strange. She had been charged and convicted
(36:36):
with a felony, so she was trying to avoid eviction.
She eventually did have to go to jail, and then
when he was going to go see her, probably put
some money on her books for some ramen noodles and stuff.
He looked and they were like, yeah, she was convicted
of a felony, felony, like she was doing crime. Crime.
So he took a day off work traveled to the
(36:57):
Airport Courthouse near lax to draw up the records on
her case. When he started looking through the records, he
realized that everything that she told him was say it
with me, guys, a lie. The plea agreement meant that
she had pleaded guilty that her bank accounts had never
been frozen. They weren't frozen, they just were empty, empty
(37:17):
I'm gonna start telling you my bank account frozen if
there ain't no money in there. That's it, basically is
the bank won't let me make transfers anymore because they
said it's no money in there, so they stopped. They
froze my transfer they frozen.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
So if you want to, you know, paypound me some.
You want to venmo me something so I can get
my transfers back up, that's my god, that's excellent.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Worry if you would have venmoed me money so I
could get my transfers back up, that's the phrasing. That
is excellent phrasing for I don't have no money, Send
me money so I get start spending money again. That's amazing.
So her plea agreement was for forty thousand dollars, not fifty,
and it included one hundred and eight day jail sentence
(38:01):
later reduced to thirty days. Oh god, So basically she
skimmed him. She's like up, she was like, I need
fifty thousand dollars so I can get this time served.
Then she just kept a little tense so she could
get her transfers back up. So she was like some
for the court, some honey, some for me. On the
day of the release, he picked her up, which I'm like, bro,
(38:21):
why are you even still fucking yeah? Why are you
still involved? Because I think he was trying to get
his money back. So he was like, he's been lying
to me this entire time about everything. The next day,
he filed a police report alleging a total theft of
seventy five thousand dollars. Right so, Walton's landlord shared that
Homegirl also was twelve thousand dollars behind in apartment payments
(38:43):
and had delayed them further because she says she had
cancer and that her disability insurance wasn't arriving on time.
She was running all she my god, so where was
the money for rent gone? Because remember he helped her
with an eviction law quote unquote two thousand dollars.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Well, that's how she had that expensive shoes and shit,
she was just buying stuff.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
She just can't buy shoes. She's funny. I love her.
They were like, man, we're gonna put you in the street.
She was like, okay, but I really need these lubatants. Also,
my cancer hurts right now, so I might cancer. HER's
so bad, I better go buy a shoe. That's the cure. Yeah.
I can't actually talk about this right now because ooh
that was my cancer. Okay, so I'm gonna close the
door now, bye bye. So background checks reveal that she'd
(39:31):
also been charged with writing bad checks, fraud in Tennessee,
in Florida, a grand theft, among other kunts. She was
also doing San Andreas. I love her, Yes, And then
the jury found that Smith was guilty of grand theft
and sentenced her to five years in jail. So this
is on top of one hundred and eighty days that
(39:52):
she got from robbing her former employment. She did end
up having to go to jail for robbing her homeboy.
And man, there's a lot to unp there that we
just don't have time to pack, you guys unpacking in
your cars wherever you are. But uh, this irishwoman is
a queen. I love her. That's it.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
That's like, over the course of four years, you stole
eighty thousand dollars. That's pretty good. That's twenty a year.
That's nice, tax free, that is twenty thousand dollars a year.
That's like pretty decent. And I'm sure that's something only
scam she was running on people. Obviously she can rent scam.
She had grand theft, she had like her whole life
(40:34):
was a grip.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
She doing it. She's doing big things. So for Scammer
of the Week, we just want to highlight a king,
a Floridian, a Florida man. You know, if you really
just want trash, if you really just want I can
say that I lived in Florida. It's okay for me
to say that a Florida man bought one hundred and
forty thousand dollars Porsche with a check that he printed
from home on his computer. I don't even know you
(40:57):
think of this.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
But also the dealership was like, ah, it looks right,
but what look?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Times are hard. They trying to sell these motherfucking Porsches.
They said, anybody want to come in here? Yes, so
forty two year old Casey William Kelly. I love that
he has three first names. That's what I'm talking about.
Robbery was charged with a grand theft of a motor
vehicle and uttering a false banknote. According to the Walton
County Sheriff's Office, he allegedly handed over a cashier's check
that he printed from his home computer to buy the car.
(41:29):
The car was later reported stolen to Okaloosa County sheriff Office.
So he so also we just talked about in the
last story, like you do a cashier check. That's as
good as cash.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Pretty much, if it looks real, if it looks legit.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
So this is what he did. Shortly after purchasing the
German luxury car. Authority say that Kelly then attempted to
buy three Rolex watches he was loan. Later ride, he said,
where my printer at I get the ink jet? Been
so funny, that is so fucking funny. He handed over
a fraudulent check for six see one thousand dollars to
a jeweler. However, the jeweler kept the watches until they
(42:04):
could determine if the check would clear see because jewelry.
You know, he's a white man.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
People don't fuck with jewelry because jewelry goes up in
value sometimes.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
So like like a vintage Rolex, those go for like
a like a ton of cash. So smart on them.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
But also with the car, I would have done a lease.
I would have given them a fake address. I would
have done I mean, you probably had to put some
money down so you get the fraudulent check for that,
give them a dummy address, and then never park the
car near your house.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
And be like, I don't know what you're talking about.
That's a good one, because then it's also like they
might contact you like, oh, this check didn't go through,
but you we got this lise set up, We got
all your info and then you could drive it around
for longer. He's just straight up yes, like stealing it. Okay,
Now I have the perfect plan.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Okay, so we get a fake driver's license with your picture,
different name, different address, because I don't think they do
any sort of background checks. So if you can make
fraudulent checks, write that check for the down payment on
the lease, how will they get to you. They can't,
They can't find you. And then the bank is on
the hook because when you lease a car, the bank
(43:12):
buys the car. You pay the bank, so you are
literally out of it.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Everyone go out there and print your cashier's check. Immy nominated.
The cole buyer has taught you how to do this scam.
That was her ted talk. It was free for you
and for me. I just I think also the jeweler
probably caught on because jewelers deal with criminals all the time, like,
oh yeah, jewelry, like the three rolexes for what for?
(43:43):
What for? Why for? How? So you know what? But
shout out to a three first named king, Casey William
Kelly because I don't even know how you thought to
print out a casher check at your home. Probably been
saying the side too long, coronavirus. She was like, I
could print out of cash your check.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
From or maybe he saw Catch Me if you can
that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio running all them scams and
he was like, I can do that.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I'm cute listen and he did and did he did
get the car off the lots. So I'm proud of
this king, but we too, we have reached the end
of the show.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Nicole Lazy, thank you so much for having me back. Honestly,
it's just a treat to talk to.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
You is thank you for being here. Seriously, Wait, where
do you want to be found?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I'm hopefully engaged with a nice man now. You can
find me on Instagram, Twitter at Nicole Bayer. I have
other podcasts, Why Won't You Date Me? Best Friends, ninety
day ban Patreon, drag Her with Mono Agapi, where we
talked about drag Race Newcomers with Lauren Lapkis where now
we are watching Lord of the Rings and good fucking Lord,
that movie's a scam.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
They're too fucking long. They should have been broken up.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
But yeah, you can just Oh and I have a book,
Very Fat, Very Brave. It's a self help guide for
fat women. But if you're a thin and you have low.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Self esteem, I guess maybe you'll help. I don't know
what a sales pitch there. You hate yourself? No no, no, no, no,
I can I can help you your thin self hate
and bitch. No I'm kidding, no no, no, no no.
But it's a good book for just confidence in general.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Yeah, and it's gotten like little comebacks if someone insults you.
The main takeaway of the book, I'll just tell you,
I prefer if you bought it is like if someone
says something about your body, it means you're powerful because
that person had to stop their day to tell you
something and you never thought once about them.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yes, uh, I love that. Yes, guys, Very Fat, Very Brave.
Oh my god, all the things you have so many podcasts.
As always, guys, email us scamcottspot at gmail dot com.
Snitch on your friends your family and yourself. If you
want to find me d I V A l A
c I d elates. You have all platforms if you
want to support a black queen out there, okay, if
you want to do your activism for today, like uh wait,
(45:55):
I was about to say, like a subscribe b just
sign YouTube, subscribe to our show, give me five star
reviews and talk about how lovely of human being that
I am. That's how you can help me. And then
and then you help the black person. Today you get
to go to bed like I did it. I did
something alright, Congregation, Damn Goddess. This has been in the
(46:22):
Earwook production in association with Team Coco Scam Got His
Stars and it's hosted by me Lacy Mosley aka Scam Goddess.
Our producer is Jessica cis Neros and our audio engineer
is rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by
Kate Doyle Stay Scheming
Scaled, Come Robbaby and Frill Scared, Come.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Robby and froll Cab Goddess. What's Popping? Congregation is Schagirl
Lacy mostly aka scam Goddess and Guys, I'm so I
always say what do we say? Say it with me?
I'm so excited for today's guests, but for real, y'all, Okay,
this is the first time that we've had a repeat guest.
(00:34):
Uh the one the only I think for the whole season,
this will be the only repeat guest. Guys. She is
the Emmy nominated hilarious queen, one of the amazing hosts
of Nailed It. You love her podcast, Why Won't You
Date Me? You love her podcast best Friends, you love
her and everything that you freaking see. This is Nicole
(00:57):
Byer Guys, what's up, Nicole Lazy?
Speaker 3 (01:01):
What a beautiful intro. And I love that you tell
people to say things with you because I would love
to see someone like in their car just being like
just talking with you, feeling themselves.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
I love it, right. I feel like, especially now, podcasts
are like you're just kind of talking to yourself, So
I want you to feel like I'm talking back, like
what did I say y'all so crazy. We would just
had a moment, so y'all get to keep that. Well,
we've talked about scams, Nicole and your relationship with scams,
(01:34):
and yes, yes, yes we talked. I remember you telling
me that you've you've fallen for some scams, right, have
I fallen?
Speaker 3 (01:41):
I don't know if I fall I scammed. We talked
about me scamming my dad.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Ohkay, yeah, we did talk about you scamming your dad.
I thought it was a scam that you fell for.
Maybe I was wrong, Maybe I was wrong.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Maybe I don't remember, and I'm trying to rack my brain,
but I mean, I just bought a shitty bike from
a shitty company, and I think that that was a
fucking scam bikebury dot com. I got very drunk and
was googling bikes and you know, they paid for those
ads to pop up first, so I clicked on that
(02:11):
paid for ad. I found this purple bike that like
said it was a cruiser, But then I got it
there was a hole in it. So then I took
a picture there was a hole in the box, and
I sent that picture to the company and they were like, oh, well,
the thing that's poking through the box was there just
in case there was damage to the box during shipping.
(02:32):
I said, well, I don't know if I really want
to open the bike and like figure out other stuff
wrong with it. And they were like all right, and
you know, bat on me for not reading their return
policy where it's like you paid for the ship and back.
I don't know how much shipping is for a fucking
bike on my set. You know, it's probably probably it's
a heavy it's like seventy I don't know, not seventy pounds,
sixty pounds, forty pounds, I don't know. And then you
(02:54):
pay like a fifteen percent restocking fee. And I was like,
so I'm still gonna be out like fifty sixty maybe
eighty on this two hundred dollars bike. I might as
well just put it together. Put it together. This thing
is so fucking janky, like the gears just twist around.
And I didn't put it together. I can't do that shit.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
I had a man, did you put it together? I
was about to be like, okay, this is that. That
was the scam right there.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You put the bike together, had a man put it together,
and he was like he followed the directions to a
tea and we could like the gears just spin. It
is such a shitty bike. So then I post about
how shitty it was and they're like, well, we started
a return for you, and I was like, yeah, but
I also told you I was gonna open it and
see how it was. And I opened it and this
is a piece of shit bike. I'm very entitled to
(03:42):
that opinion. And I'm like, so now you want me
to disassemble it, put this fucking shitty ass bike back
in the box. You want me to pay fifteen percent? No,
I'm just gonna donate it. Jacobaizaki was like, you should
donate it, and I was like, oh, yes, so I
might be able to use the frame because the frame
isn't bad.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
The wheels are bad, the handles are bad. I thought
you were saying you're gonna donated to a place where
it was like gonna be some little keyd riding this
junky ass bike. I'm like to go that right.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Imagine I donated to like kids and need a bike
and then they die on this Bikeberry dot Com bike.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
Also, I feel like a bike is something that most
people buy in person. Am I crazy? I feel like
this is very ambitious of you to like buy a
not a do it yourself bike.
Speaker 3 (04:26):
I know, I know. It was very ambitious. I thought
I was getting a good deal. But you get what
you pay for. Uh.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
John was like.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
My roommate was like, yeah, you have to go sit
on the bike and see it in person.
Speaker 2 (04:38):
I suck.
Speaker 3 (04:39):
All right, I give up, I'll go I'll go sit
on a bike another day.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
I think that's the right choice, because look, I won't
even do a sour dough starter. So you are very brave.
You are very brave to buy a whole bike in
a box. It's my bike and a box. It's a
bike and my box. Oh goodness. Let's get into what's
hot and fraud. I need to name Nicole for this person.
Mm hmmm. This person probably identifies as a woman, but
(05:07):
I don't care. You can it can be any name
you want in the world. Okay. I love that you're
really giving this a lot of thought.
Speaker 3 (05:16):
Okay, you just just a name, just a name for
a person. Okay, let's call her Teresa. What a basic name?
You did all that, I think all that time, and
I came up with Teresa. No, she'll sh Shamika. That's
my cousin.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
I like, I know some Shamika's. They're nice, most of them.
They can fight. Can your cousin fight? Does she does?
She look like you can fight.
Speaker 3 (05:45):
I think Shamika could take you on on a fight.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
She's tall.
Speaker 3 (05:48):
Oh, Okay, she's a tall woman.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I've never met a Shamika that couldn't fight, so that
that's just something they're skilled that. Okay, it's not the
wrong with that. So Shamika says, I did this scam
a decade ago when I was a young, broke adult
and it worked out well at the time. Okay, she says,
in my state home state of Montana, Smika. Okay, Shemika
is definitely white. I just looked at the Google photos
(06:16):
said also, she said my homestate of Montana, and that
made me shoot my eyes back up to the photo
because I was like, yeah, is there black in Montana.
Speaker 3 (06:23):
I went to Billings, Montana once, and to get to Billings, Montana,
I think I flew to whatever their capital is or
whatever their big city is, and then got on the
tiniest fucking plane to get to Billings and the black
flight attendant looked at me as I got on the
plane and said honey, you going to the right place.
Speaker 2 (06:40):
And I was like, well, if she's asking, I don't know.
Speaker 3 (06:43):
Then I got there and I was like, m now
I know why she was.
Speaker 2 (06:46):
She was worried about me. She started smiling and the
tears came. Yes. She was like no, no, no, no
no yes, she was no, no, no, Get get off
the plane, get out. I feel like you went to
one of those towns where like they have a popular
sign and then it like goes up when you get there.
Speaker 3 (07:03):
Yep, uh huh, I goes right back down when I
left the next day.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Were you there for work or something? Why were you? Okay?
Speaker 3 (07:10):
I was doing a show at a college. College shows
have truly taken me to the wildest, most racist, smallest
towns I've ever been to.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
And it's funny because they hired you. Correct now, now,
I'm you are very funny and you're very talented and
very beautiful and the cole But part of me wonders
if they hired you because they were like, this is
our one chance to lay eyes on a black person.
We're gonna have to pay them, but they will come.
Speaker 3 (07:34):
A lot of campuses are pretty liberal, like you'll be
smack dab in the middle of like Confederate flag country,
like I was in Arizona, got off the plane, tons
of Trump flags. This is in twenty fifteen, and like,
you know, Confederate flags. I saw like a people of
swastika somewhere and then got to the campus and it
was like hippy dippy people with like neon hair, and
(07:57):
I was.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
Like, what the fuck did I do.
Speaker 3 (08:00):
It's so it's like once you crossed over into the college,
they're like higher learning, We're inclusive, we want to love everybody.
So but also maybe it is just to see a
black one one time.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
I'm sure it was because you're very funny, but also
I'm sure afterwards they were like, Wow, that's what it's like, guys,
a black person. Oh my god. Did you do meet
in person?
Speaker 3 (08:24):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, I usually do meet. They got to talk to you.
They did. They did.
Speaker 3 (08:29):
In one college, a woman gave me lotion and I
was like, is this a dig?
Speaker 2 (08:35):
I was like, am I?
Speaker 3 (08:37):
I guess I'm notoriously ashy. I always post pictures and
I look so ashy. And it was a white lady
and I was like, oh no, if they know, no,
not if they know.
Speaker 2 (08:45):
Look, white people don't know about ashness. They don't know
about it, but I will say that Jaquith says that
it's racist when people don't have lotion in the bathroom
because black people need lotion after they wash their hands.
So maybe maybe she was just trying to help you out.
Speaker 3 (09:00):
Maybe maybe she was. She was like, there's no lotion
in Billings, Montana. Not one Walmart carries a single drop
of lotion.
Speaker 2 (09:10):
White people do need lotion. They do, but they don't
know that they need it. Oh you know what, now
it's their chance, y'all lotion. Everybody needs it? Yes, everybody. Wait,
here's the indication. Okay, I think this is gonna be
indicative if she was being shady. Was it like a fragrant,
like a nice lotion or did she give you some jargons?
Speaker 3 (09:30):
No, it was actually very nice lotion. I cannot say
the name of the company. I've been laughed at before.
Leoctane lost Oh my.
Speaker 2 (09:39):
God, yep, no, no, no, no, listen. I didn't know either.
I had a boyfriend in college and he spoke fluent
French and one time I was like, oh, I love
Octane was.
Speaker 3 (09:52):
I was like, oh, luxititumb that's so I'll never remember
that name luxit doom.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
What a treat lux it dom rolls off your tongue
though you're giving me face, remember it? Well, No, that
she was trying to flegs. She went and got you
some good lotion. I think that was a shade. That
was a shade.
Speaker 3 (10:10):
Okay, she was being nice, all right.
Speaker 2 (10:12):
So back to Shamika, who was definitely white. She says,
in my state of Montana, we have a quit line
you can call for free anti smoking items like gum
and patches. I took it upon myself to call the
quit line and have the short conversation about my smoking habits.
They agreed to send me the patches, and every two
weeks I need to have a fifteen minute conversation with
(10:35):
them to check in on how I'm doing. That's interesting
to me because it's like, if people want to quit,
then why do I need to Like they're like, oh, hey, yeah,
you want to quit. So how was this week? How
many cigarettes did you have? How much to like, how
much tobacco did you lick on?
Speaker 1 (10:49):
Like?
Speaker 2 (10:50):
What is this conversation? Lick up? Well, quitting is very hard.
Speaker 3 (10:54):
I've tried to quit smoking, uh no, less than four times,
ten times one hundred times.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
Uh, and it's hard. I will say that I was
never into smoking cigarettes, but for a four month period,
I was jeweling like I was a fifteen year old.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Well yeah, you just puff on them inside. It was
that's so wild that you weren't a smoker, but you
were like, but jewel, I'll do that, tell.
Speaker 2 (11:22):
Me because you know, we do comedy and we'll be
outside of bars and shit afterwards, and you know, you
have a few drinks and then people would be like
jeweling and I'd be like, sometimes back in the day,
I would like bum a cigarette. So it wasn't like
a big deal to like, you know, do that. So
I was like, oh, shuel. Then I was like, oh,
it's not sanitary, just like puff someone else's jewel. I'll
just go grab my own for whenever. And then I
meg up and the call, I kid, you not jewel
(11:45):
pods everywhere like fucking chargers everywhere. And I didn't know
when I had become this person. I had a jewel
charger in my car, so I really plug it in
my car and keep the jewel charged all day. I
had no idea idea that I was so ridiculously addicted
to it.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
So the commercials are real when there's a team that's
like it started with one puff and next thing I
knew my life revolved around jewel.
Speaker 2 (12:10):
I was sucking dick for jewel, like it.
Speaker 3 (12:14):
You know, that's when times it was rough, when you
were sucking dick for a cigarette or a jewel.
Speaker 2 (12:21):
They're not cheap either, And those pods are not cheap.
How much are those pods? Those pods? Depending on what
story you're going to, some stores will really rip you
off and they'll be like thirty five for a four pack, yam,
and then some places it's twenty seven for a four pack.
Speaker 3 (12:35):
Damn. You know, I missed the days where you could
share a cigarette with a friend or drink after a friend.
Speaker 2 (12:41):
Never again, Never again.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
We was fucking nasty now, like you know, like now
that I think about it, like I kind of like
wearing a mask, especially like working, because like people get
so close to you, to mike you, and now it's
so nice that like we're not breathing on each other.
Speaker 2 (12:56):
I think it's great. I also think it's a wake
up call to people who had hot ass bread and
we can never tell people that they breath hot, Like
can we normalize telling people that their breath as hot
as fuck, because there's people sending my eyelashes off and
now I know they gotta smell that. They gotta have
it own, not just right back up.
Speaker 3 (13:14):
And there I was at a protest and I was like,
oh no, I think I have bad breath. And then
so she was like, did you wash? When's the last
time you washed your mask? And I was like wash.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
But now I'm in it. I'm in the game. I
realize it's like.
Speaker 3 (13:32):
Clothing, you gotta wash it every couple of days.
Speaker 2 (13:34):
So I'm in it. Yes, I've had I've had to
go out with a funky mask once or twice and
I was like, this is fucking torture. Just it's awful scarce.
Speaker 1 (13:46):
God.
Speaker 2 (13:48):
But yeah, so, oh my god, I've never admitted. Am
I gonna maybe I'll cut that out. About the duel thing.
I don't know if I'm ready to tell you guys
that I was doing that, but I was, I was.
I guess I'll be honest. I mean, you don't have to.
Don't do juil. You don't want the information out there.
Speaker 3 (14:01):
I rarely talk about smoking because people look down on
you so much and they're like, just quit it's not good.
And I'm like, you don't think I know we're in
a pandemic and I'm hiding in my house because I'm
more susceptible.
Speaker 2 (14:15):
To like I have bad lungs. I know, I know
what I've been doing, right, And it's like and people,
but that's what Maybe this will be a cautionary tale
for someone out there. Guys, don't jewel. Don't jewel, it's bad.
Don't jewel. Don't start. Don't start, No for real, don't start.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
It's like I had to learn how to smoke. I'm
not an inherent smoker, so I would like sit in
my garage and like inhale and then cough and then
slowly inhale halfway hold the other half in my mouth.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
It was why for what?
Speaker 3 (14:44):
And now it's you know, twenty dollars every couple days,
just so I can get my little fixed.
Speaker 2 (14:50):
Oh, it's a thank you, Big Tobacco. That's a scam, right, oh,
the biggest, one of the biggest. It's crazy that Big
Tobacco also pays for all the ads that warn you
about cigarettes. Because that's like doy, that's like they're rule,
like there are a thing with the government is like
Philip Morris, like they have to pay for those ads.
They pay for the truth. Yes, with the little black
(15:11):
kids like I would never smoke because I can't let
my hood down. And now we about to dance play basketball?
Why are those commercials like that.
Speaker 3 (15:24):
That? I mean, yeah, black commercials. Sometimes I'm like, who
did this? Was it a black person or is this
a white person projecting what they think black culture is.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
If you want to see a TV show where you
can very much tell where everyone on it was white
who was writing for the black people? I highly recommend
In the Dark. I think that's what it's called on Netflix.
That's the show about the blind woman who becomes a detective.
They don't even.
Speaker 3 (15:53):
Sound right, but I'm not being ablest, but maybe I
am being ablest.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
I feel like that would be just a real uphill.
Bad it is, and that's why the show was fun
to watch, because you're watching her like she's impressive, but
then she she saw in the murder of her her
little black friend who saved her once from a mugging.
But he's a drug dealer. But like he's clearly a
British actor and the whole thing is written by white people.
(16:21):
You can just tell that they never they'd never heard
of drug dealers before they did. They probably watched the
wire a little bit, and we're like, I can do that.
Speaker 3 (16:29):
I once did a McDonald's commercial where McDonald's, you know,
perhaps to them, they have a whole website four black people.
It's called McDonald's three sixty five and they and it's
like they talk about black history all year round.
Speaker 2 (16:44):
But I that's.
Speaker 3 (16:45):
How, you know. But I did this voiceover. It was
me and uh two or three other black women, and
I don't remember if I had auditioned for it, but
they were like, all right, let's go for it. And
my line was don't steal my French fries. So I
said don't steal my French fries, and they were like
can you? And then I was like, sass it up.
(17:07):
And then the other women laughed and I was like.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
Don't steal my French fries.
Speaker 3 (17:10):
And then the other women sounded just like me, and
they were like a girl, that's my call.
Speaker 2 (17:17):
I'm gonna keep it in a French fry year.
Speaker 3 (17:20):
And then after all three of us did it like that,
the whoever, I guess it was, whoever, like the producers
or whatever, the buyers were like, Okay, let's just go
back to your normal voices. And I was like point made.
I like, I love that we made that point because
it was like, if you want a minstrel show, that's
what you can have, or you can have like just
(17:42):
three black women talking.
Speaker 2 (17:45):
It was why I'm gonna take that with me because
that is an excellent wage. Not who's also like, why
are the lines like y'all getting robbed? Your bet don't?
Because I know you, like what why are you getting
robbed in this commercial?
Speaker 3 (18:04):
So sheher has a pretty good joke about it. I
can't remember. It was like the Black Blinds to Go
where it was like.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
You can't see in my house.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
It was based on a commercial. And then I have
a joke about McDonald's and how my god. Sometimes they're
just like my baby daddy took me to get a
mc rib and I was like they both back and
You're like.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
What fu fuck they go back.
Speaker 1 (18:25):
I'm leaving.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm leaving. I have to go home, and I'm at home,
So guys, what a wild tangent. But to wrap up
Shamika White Shamika's letter, uh huh. White Shamika says after
she would have her conversations where she talked about how
hard it was, and actually we just talked about how
hard it is, and so I understand these conversations now.
(18:49):
She said, I received all three stages of patches, not
sure how many in total, but as soon as I
got them, I put them up for sale on eBay,
and I had no problem selling them for thirty or
forty dollars a box. I know I made a few
hundred dollars doing this, and eventually I just ignored their
calls and quit getting the patches. I'm terrible, signed Shamika.
(19:10):
Just in case you forgot what we were talking about
when we went on these tangents. I did Shamika maybe
never smoked cigarettes, or if she did, she didn't quit,
or she just called the quit line, got the very
expensive free quitting materials, and then she went to eBay
and she slanged them.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
You know, I don't knock the hustle.
Speaker 2 (19:34):
I really don't, Shamika. I fucks with you like I think,
come on in Montana. Yes, get it, Shamika.
Speaker 3 (19:42):
I think Shamika is an entrepreneur.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yes, she's a what are they calling when you're a
woman entrepreneur? A entrepreneur. I thought we had a word
for that, do we were? We just put her in
it or something? Entrepreneur?
Speaker 3 (19:58):
Entrepreneur truly sounds like something wrong with like a herniated disc.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah, oh disc. Yeah, you're right. It's not very motivating, don't.
We don't need that one. So this is my favorite
segment of the show, Historic Hoodwinks, where I will regale
Emmy nominated Nicole Byer with I just have to sprinkle
it in like seasoning a.
Speaker 3 (20:18):
Little bit, because honestly, it truly is such a wild thing.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
Who would have thought I would have? Who would have thought?
Black Queen? I love it. So I'm gonna regale her
with the Historic Hoodwink and we're just gonna get her
thoughts and opinions along the way. Today we're talking about
a man named Jonathan Walton, a producer on American Ninja Warrior.
That's that show where the athletic people hurt themselves. Yeah,
(20:45):
and they do an obstacle course, so you watch it
hoping that they fall. Yes. So he was conned out
of nearly ninety thousand dollars by his best friend. Gonna
put that in quotes Mayor Smythe mayor claimed to be
a royal Irish heiress waiting to inherit five million euros.
Speaker 3 (21:05):
So wait a minute. If I ever met somebody, if
I ever met somebody who was like, just see you know,
I'm an heiress and I'm gonna inherit five million dollars,
I'd be like, so you good with money?
Speaker 2 (21:18):
I don't have to give you shit, right, good, you're
about to get it. But I'm about to get it though, girl, Like,
I just need the texts and fees.
Speaker 3 (21:26):
No, don't worry about it. You can pay for all
that once you get your inheritance.
Speaker 2 (21:30):
So I'm gonna I'm gonna tell you some things that
are gonna make more sense as to why maybe this
worked on him. Okay, So the first time that Jonathan,
who was forty five, met this woman who became his
best friend and turned into his worst enemy, obviously, she
was offering to help with his building's pool. So Walton
lived in a bunker Hill apartment complex in downtown Los Angeles.
(21:50):
Where is bunker Hill here? I don't know where bunker
Hill is, but it says downtown LA. I don't live
down there, so it says they lost access to their
stunning pool. Amid a dispute with another building. These are
a Champagne problems. So we're like, we lost the pool. Also,
what do you mean to dispute with another building? Y'all
was fighting that building. I really want to imagine people
(22:13):
punching brick, but I know that's not what's happening. So
when Walton, an earnest and animated former news reporter, held
a meeting about the incident in his living room, about
thirty people showed up because they're trying to get the
pool back. Guys, I guess. So that meeting is where
he met forty something year old woman with jet black
hair in a pixie cut. Ooh, she's a manic pixie
(22:35):
dream girl who soon took charge of the conversation. She
was dressed in pastel colored clothes, shoes that looks high end,
and she spoke with the slightest trace of an accent,
which I'm assuming is an Irish accent, which is a
hard accent to do.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Yeah, did you just like a trace of I would
think it's harder than just fully getting into it.
Speaker 2 (22:58):
The only think saying I want the pool to come back.
Speaker 3 (23:02):
I don't whoop whoop wood.
Speaker 2 (23:05):
That was really good. That was better than anything I
could do. I literally went to They're magically delicious, like
I could never they.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
Stole me like of charms and took away at my pool.
Speaker 2 (23:20):
Well this worked. Also, I feel like he must have
equated her just casually wearing pastels as someone who's like rich.
I'm trying to think. I don't see a lot of people,
just like unless you're at Coachella, you don't just see
people who are walking around in full past not like
head to toe in pastel.
Speaker 3 (23:38):
But now I'm thinking about maybe I gotta get more
pastel in my life.
Speaker 2 (23:42):
Right? Is that how I shall people?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I'm a real fancy holl is me like I got
manny I'm wearing lavender?
Speaker 2 (23:48):
Maybe because I really don't see it that often. So.
She said during her conversation where she had taken over
that she was a luxury travel agent and her boyfriend
was a prominent real estate lawyer. She said that she
had sued their own apartment complex a couple of times,
and one, oh, how do you ever needed to sue
your apartment? Well, I mean you live in a house,
(24:09):
but when you lived in an apartment, did you need
to sue them?
Speaker 3 (24:12):
No? No, no, no no. Although my landlord. Oh maybe
I talked about this last time. My landlord was running
a scam, so he was like, you can give me
or the super your rent. And then a couple of
years down the line, there was a note on the
building that was like, do not let Lewis in the building.
He was in buzzling money. And then in the paper
(24:33):
we were like, oh shit, Yeah, he was like in
buzzling money and send his kids to private school, which
I was.
Speaker 2 (24:37):
Like, you know, that's nice. That's a nice kid. You
know that's nice. We need to children, let them lead
the way.
Speaker 3 (24:46):
Yes, but no, I've never had to sue my apartment.
I don't pay rent. I never paid rent on time.
This is the first time in my life where I've
paid my living expenses on time because it comes out
of my bank account.
Speaker 2 (24:56):
Oh right, because it's like auto withdraw. Yeah, I'm childish.
I won't that, and I know that I could withdraw
forever and I'd probably be fine. But I every month,
I just get the email and I begrudgingly go over
there and like hit the payment button. And I don't
know why I do it. I think I get like
high from it. Sometimes I'll wait because I only get
till the third. I don't even get till the fifth
before you get a late fees. So I'm like, you
(25:18):
only get to the third third, girl, they don't play.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
My apartment in New York, when I finally moved out,
I would also never pay rent on time. I would
pay like three months at a time. After the three months,
and then when I finally moved out, they were like,
your last month of rent is due. And I was like,
that's why you bitches have security and they're like, no,
the security's covering all your late fees.
Speaker 2 (25:40):
And I was like, I don't.
Speaker 3 (25:41):
Live here no more, so I this is pay dable.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
You really are a scammer. She was like, that's why
you got that deposit, but bye mate. So she's very charismatic.
She's bantering with the neighbors. She sued the building a
bunch of times. I imagine her going to like Judge
Joe Brown suing the apartment building. I hope that's where
it happened, and her story is that she in time
(26:05):
would also mention that she was palsed with Ashley Judd
and show him a closet full of allegedly thousand dollars
designer shoes and share that she had a psychic gift. Now,
I know what you're thinking. If you met somebody and
they were like, hey, I'll be sawing my apartment buility
every other Thursday. I own thousand dollars shoes. Ashley Judd
(26:26):
is my homegirl, and also I'm a psychic. Like, if
you heard all of that at one time, you would
be like, bitch, what's going on?
Speaker 3 (26:34):
I would be like, I should stay away.
Speaker 2 (26:37):
From this fucking person. This is too much. But they
were friends for four years before she scammed him.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Honestly, bravo, this is bravo.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
What a long time, right. I was very impressed. So
I get how over the years, if you have a
casual conversation, like my homegirl would be like, girl, you
know I'm a brew ha, And I wouldn't think that's crazy.
I was like, yeah, you're a brewha. But I know
her for years. I was like, sure, you're a brewhaw.
She hasn't asked me for ninety thousand dollars yet, but beware, right,
but she has shown me some nice clothes, she is
friends with some famous people, and she's a brewhaw. So
(27:10):
technically I already know somebody like this I'm just saying
she worked it in a way. I was like, all
seems legit seems normal. So she unwound her story over
many many meetings, like we were just talking about and
later on, in a visit to her apartment, Walton glimpsed
at a small frame printed on what Smith said was
the Constitution of Ireland. So it's her last name is Smith.
(27:33):
So he looked at this frame and then he was like,
what is this And he was like, oh, this is
the Constitution of Ireland, you know, casual hanging in my
living room. She said that her great uncle had signed it,
she explained, pointing out his signature. Later, she said that
the same great uncle had just died and stood to inherit.
She's sit inherent part of his twenty five million dollar
euro or excuse me, a million euro inheritance, which is
(27:57):
about twenty seven point five million dollars mm hmm. So,
in keeping with her image as a wealthy and worldly heiress,
she occasionally showed Walton texts and emails from her friends,
like Ashley Judd, whom she had met in college. Ashley,
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Yeah, truly that her name is dragged all over this.
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Also like, is she like read labeling somebody's number in
her phone Ashley Judd and texting her fribubly.
Speaker 3 (28:25):
But also what a wild person to pick no shade
to Ashley Judd. But she's not well, I guess, honestly,
what a smart peck because she's not super famous. But
like we all know Ashley Judd's name.
Speaker 2 (28:38):
Well, didn't Harvey Weinstein her career? I think that's why
Ashley Judd, girl, I could be absolutely wrong about that.
Let me say allegedly allegedly, and by allegedly, I mean
I thought that. But last time I came on here
and I said that Michael Jackson's song at the end
where they go Mama Sam and Masada Mama Gusa, I
(28:59):
was like, it's actually words, guys, it means I'm gonna
keep going on. I'm not gonna stop. I'm gonna keep going.
I definitely don't anybody that was true And they're like, no,
it's not.
Speaker 3 (29:11):
That is I love that you just up on her
lying of people. People be telling their friends facts that
they learn from Lacy and then they're like, girl, that's
not it, that's not no, she's lying to you that.
Speaker 2 (29:22):
The scam facts are true, guys, we researched. I swear,
but anything that I say off the cuff could be
a lie. But it's not a lie. I believe it.
I remember. That's how the truth works. I taught you at.
Speaker 3 (29:34):
That's what I honestly believe.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
So due to her family's money, she said that she
didn't need a job, but preferred to keep busy, working
for luxury tour operators uh sure, Pacific Islands dot com
and later as a psychic. In the time Walton knew her,
she also had several plastic surgeries, including what he recalls
as a nose job, a breast enhancement, and some LiPo section.
(30:00):
She's an LA girl. Yes that lay snatched gating lip fillers.
Uh huh, y as you do. She's she's a housewife.
I love it, not mad at all. So they have
this really close friendship. He opens up to her her
about his family and about his sexuality and how some
(30:20):
people didn't accept him. She understood how painful alienation from
family members, could be, she said, revealing that her cousins
were trying to get her disinherited the drama, so she
showed him nasty texts and emails from these cousins, especially
one named Fenton, who occasionally wrote in Gaelic. Walton was
(30:41):
enthralled with the family drama, so she basically was like,
I wouldn't be surprised if this was like all the
plot of several Tyler Perry movies that she is see.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
She puts, I'm gonna do my own. I mean, Tyler
doesn't take too much time to produce them. I think
she took more time to produce a Tyler Perry movie
then Tyler takes to produce his own. To produce these emails,
you might be right, and I'm not being shady, because
he very quickly shoots seasons in the matter of weeks,
and he does which is wild.
Speaker 2 (31:11):
And I know actors who work for him, and they
work very hard. It was like shout out to y'all
because who long days, long long days. And wigs the
wig wigs on wigs on wigs, the wigs. Just if
you could manifest struggle into a hair piece, those wigs.
(31:34):
They're rough bub run. So basically, she moves to a
new loft and they call each other all the time,
tell each other that they love each other. So now
let's get into her inheritance by April twenty fifteen, homegirl
(31:57):
had come to Walton with tears, cats skating down her face,
asking for a loan. So the first loan that she
got was for forty two hundred dollars. Then she came
back and says she needed another fifty eight hundred dollars
to pay rent at her new loft, which is crazy
(32:18):
because she had an inheritance.
Speaker 3 (32:20):
Right yes, and she's a psychic, so she didn't see
it coming, and she didn't move before she couldn't afford
to pay it.
Speaker 2 (32:25):
She did not move before she could afford to pay it.
Speaker 3 (32:28):
Okay, it out.
Speaker 2 (32:29):
She said that her great uncle's will contain a claw
stating that anyone with a convicted felony would be exempt
from the will. Walton voiced his fears that Smith's cousins
might frame her to push her out of the will.
So this is one. So in twenty fourteen, walton speculation
seemed to come true. He received a collect call from
a detention facility that Smith had been arrested on charges
(32:50):
that she had stolen about two hundred thousand dollars from
Pacific Islands dot Com, which is the travel agency that
she worked for. So she basically sold this his life, like,
my cousins are setting me up. That call that you
got from jail, that's fencing in them? Was it in Gaelic?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
I mean this is exhaustly honestly, the amount of work
she put in, she could have just gotten herself a job.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
This is this is work, this is what. That's the
thing about scamming. People think scamming is not work. Scamming
is an employment. It's a profession. I'm honestly upset that
scammers can't get unemployment right now because they have been
self employed. And you know that's something we need to
work on. H they won't. They need they stimulus too.
We need a scam.
Speaker 3 (33:37):
Stimulus for robbery.
Speaker 2 (33:40):
Okay, how you gonna be doing robbery when everybody in
their house?
Speaker 3 (33:43):
Truly, I was just thinking that the other day. I
was like, how do you rob a house if everybody
is home?
Speaker 2 (33:50):
So, just like hairdressers can't do hair in person, robbers
can't do their normal robbers exactly. So everybody's really hurting
right now. So I feel for I feel for my
I do. So cut back to She's crying to him,
like I need this money. I gotta go down to
the Attorney's office because they done froze my bank accounts,
(34:14):
the LA District attorney froze my coins up because they
think that I did this robbery at this job that
I definitely worked at, But really was my cousins who
had set me up. But for some reason the jail
called you. But it was my cousins who had put
me in jail from Ireland. This makes sense.
Speaker 3 (34:32):
I mean, the favor that he felt for that is
so wild.
Speaker 2 (34:35):
She was thrown a lot at him at once. It
was probably a lot to process, yeah, you know, and
he's like, but that's my pastel friend, right, and she
he came out to her about his lifestyle like she
accepted him. So they had an emotional relationship. So it
makes sense. So he wrote her a cashier's check, which
those are the checks that.
Speaker 3 (34:54):
Go that's money that's liquid.
Speaker 2 (34:57):
So he agreed that. She said when she regained acces
to her bank account or received her inheritance, she would
pay him back. In the meantime, she moved back into
Bunker Hill Towers for a relatively cheaper rent. With a
case still ongoing, she asked him for another thirty eight
hundred dollars the next month, for rent. Over the year,
as it passed on and dragged on, with Walton receiving
(35:18):
frequent updates, she was still asking him for money. So
in September twenty sixteen, she finally came and just really
got the bag. She said that, Hey, they're gonna give
me a plea agreement for this money that I didn't
steal from my job, that my definitely my cousins had
framed me from a different country. Great plea agreement. I'm
getting fifty thousand dollars and served jail time, but I'm
(35:42):
gonna need fifty thousand dollars from you.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
And this man gave her fifty thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
He forked over nearly sixty thousand dollars. Yeah, and he
also loaned her two thousand dollars for the lawyer to
help her avoid eviction. Because then she wasn't paying rent.
Speaker 3 (35:58):
Then what was she spending the money on. This man
needed to ask questions. I would be like, what how, No,
he didn't ask a six so he just had sixty
thousand dollars laying around. This man is a smart man
to have that much cash, Like, well, he worked a.
Speaker 2 (36:13):
TV so you know he might have been getting the checks,
I mean, damn, And he's why he believed her. He
believed that she was going to repay him. But one
day during her February twenty seventeen sentence, when Walton logged
onto the jail's website to schedule a visit, he clicked
on her profile at the La County Sheriff's website and
he noticed something strange. She had been charged and convicted
(36:36):
with a felony, so she was trying to avoid eviction.
She eventually did have to go to jail, and then
when he was going to go see her, probably put
some money on her books for some ramen noodles and stuff.
He looked and they were like, yeah, she was convicted
of a felony, felony, like she was doing crime. Crime.
So he took a day off work traveled to the
(36:57):
Airport Courthouse near lax to draw up the records on
her case. When he started looking through the records, he
realized that everything that she told him was say it
with me, guys, a lie. The plea agreement meant that
she had pleaded guilty that her bank accounts had never
been frozen. They weren't frozen, they just were empty, empty
(37:17):
I'm gonna start telling you my bank account frozen if
there ain't no money in there. That's it, basically is
the bank won't let me make transfers anymore because they
said it's no money in there, so they stopped. They
froze my transfer they frozen.
Speaker 3 (37:30):
So if you want to, you know, paypound me some.
You want to venmo me something so I can get
my transfers back up, that's my god, that's excellent.
Speaker 2 (37:39):
Worry if you would have venmoed me money so I
could get my transfers back up, that's the phrasing. That
is excellent phrasing for I don't have no money, Send
me money so I get start spending money again. That's amazing.
So her plea agreement was for forty thousand dollars, not fifty,
and it included one hundred and eight day jail sentence
(38:01):
later reduced to thirty days. Oh god, So basically she
skimmed him. She's like up, she was like, I need
fifty thousand dollars so I can get this time served.
Then she just kept a little tense so she could
get her transfers back up. So she was like some
for the court, some honey, some for me. On the
day of the release, he picked her up, which I'm like, bro,
(38:21):
why are you even still fucking yeah? Why are you
still involved? Because I think he was trying to get
his money back. So he was like, he's been lying
to me this entire time about everything. The next day,
he filed a police report alleging a total theft of
seventy five thousand dollars. Right so, Walton's landlord shared that
Homegirl also was twelve thousand dollars behind in apartment payments
(38:43):
and had delayed them further because she says she had
cancer and that her disability insurance wasn't arriving on time.
She was running all she my god, so where was
the money for rent gone? Because remember he helped her
with an eviction law quote unquote two thousand dollars.
Speaker 3 (39:02):
Well, that's how she had that expensive shoes and shit,
she was just buying stuff.
Speaker 2 (39:06):
She just can't buy shoes. She's funny. I love her.
They were like, man, we're gonna put you in the street.
She was like, okay, but I really need these lubatants. Also,
my cancer hurts right now, so I might cancer. HER's
so bad, I better go buy a shoe. That's the cure. Yeah.
I can't actually talk about this right now because ooh
that was my cancer. Okay, so I'm gonna close the
door now, bye bye. So background checks reveal that she'd
(39:31):
also been charged with writing bad checks, fraud in Tennessee,
in Florida, a grand theft, among other kunts. She was
also doing San Andreas. I love her, Yes, And then
the jury found that Smith was guilty of grand theft
and sentenced her to five years in jail. So this
is on top of one hundred and eighty days that
(39:52):
she got from robbing her former employment. She did end
up having to go to jail for robbing her homeboy.
And man, there's a lot to unp there that we
just don't have time to pack, you guys unpacking in
your cars wherever you are. But uh, this irishwoman is
a queen. I love her. That's it.
Speaker 3 (40:11):
That's like, over the course of four years, you stole
eighty thousand dollars. That's pretty good. That's twenty a year.
That's nice, tax free, that is twenty thousand dollars a year.
That's like pretty decent. And I'm sure that's something only
scam she was running on people. Obviously she can rent scam.
She had grand theft, she had like her whole life
(40:34):
was a grip.
Speaker 2 (40:35):
She doing it. She's doing big things. So for Scammer
of the Week, we just want to highlight a king,
a Floridian, a Florida man. You know, if you really
just want trash, if you really just want I can
say that I lived in Florida. It's okay for me
to say that a Florida man bought one hundred and
forty thousand dollars Porsche with a check that he printed
from home on his computer. I don't even know you
(40:57):
think of this.
Speaker 3 (41:00):
But also the dealership was like, ah, it looks right,
but what look?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
Times are hard. They trying to sell these motherfucking Porsches.
They said, anybody want to come in here? Yes, so
forty two year old Casey William Kelly. I love that
he has three first names. That's what I'm talking about.
Robbery was charged with a grand theft of a motor
vehicle and uttering a false banknote. According to the Walton
County Sheriff's Office, he allegedly handed over a cashier's check
that he printed from his home computer to buy the car.
(41:29):
The car was later reported stolen to Okaloosa County sheriff Office.
So he so also we just talked about in the
last story, like you do a cashier check. That's as
good as cash.
Speaker 3 (41:38):
Pretty much, if it looks real, if it looks legit.
Speaker 2 (41:42):
So this is what he did. Shortly after purchasing the
German luxury car. Authority say that Kelly then attempted to
buy three Rolex watches he was loan. Later ride, he said,
where my printer at I get the ink jet? Been
so funny, that is so fucking funny. He handed over
a fraudulent check for six see one thousand dollars to
a jeweler. However, the jeweler kept the watches until they
(42:04):
could determine if the check would clear see because jewelry.
You know, he's a white man.
Speaker 3 (42:09):
People don't fuck with jewelry because jewelry goes up in
value sometimes.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
So like like a vintage Rolex, those go for like
a like a ton of cash. So smart on them.
Speaker 3 (42:20):
But also with the car, I would have done a lease.
I would have given them a fake address. I would
have done I mean, you probably had to put some
money down so you get the fraudulent check for that,
give them a dummy address, and then never park the
car near your house.
Speaker 2 (42:35):
And be like, I don't know what you're talking about.
That's a good one, because then it's also like they
might contact you like, oh, this check didn't go through,
but you we got this lise set up, We got
all your info and then you could drive it around
for longer. He's just straight up yes, like stealing it. Okay,
Now I have the perfect plan.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
Okay, so we get a fake driver's license with your picture,
different name, different address, because I don't think they do
any sort of background checks. So if you can make
fraudulent checks, write that check for the down payment on
the lease, how will they get to you. They can't,
They can't find you. And then the bank is on
the hook because when you lease a car, the bank
(43:12):
buys the car. You pay the bank, so you are
literally out of it.
Speaker 2 (43:18):
Everyone go out there and print your cashier's check. Immy nominated.
The cole buyer has taught you how to do this scam.
That was her ted talk. It was free for you
and for me. I just I think also the jeweler
probably caught on because jewelers deal with criminals all the time, like,
oh yeah, jewelry, like the three rolexes for what for?
(43:43):
What for? Why for? How? So you know what? But
shout out to a three first named king, Casey William
Kelly because I don't even know how you thought to
print out a casher check at your home. Probably been
saying the side too long, coronavirus. She was like, I
could print out of cash your check.
Speaker 3 (43:59):
From or maybe he saw Catch Me if you can
that movie with Leonardo DiCaprio running all them scams and
he was like, I can do that.
Speaker 2 (44:06):
I'm cute listen and he did and did he did
get the car off the lots. So I'm proud of
this king, but we too, we have reached the end
of the show.
Speaker 3 (44:15):
Nicole Lazy, thank you so much for having me back. Honestly,
it's just a treat to talk to.
Speaker 2 (44:20):
You is thank you for being here. Seriously, Wait, where
do you want to be found?
Speaker 3 (44:26):
I'm hopefully engaged with a nice man now. You can
find me on Instagram, Twitter at Nicole Bayer. I have
other podcasts, Why Won't You Date Me? Best Friends, ninety
day ban Patreon, drag Her with Mono Agapi, where we
talked about drag Race Newcomers with Lauren Lapkis where now
we are watching Lord of the Rings and good fucking Lord,
that movie's a scam.
Speaker 2 (44:46):
They're too fucking long. They should have been broken up.
Speaker 3 (44:49):
But yeah, you can just Oh and I have a book,
Very Fat, Very Brave. It's a self help guide for
fat women. But if you're a thin and you have low.
Speaker 2 (44:56):
Self esteem, I guess maybe you'll help. I don't know
what a sales pitch there. You hate yourself? No no, no, no, no,
I can I can help you your thin self hate
and bitch. No I'm kidding, no no, no, no no.
But it's a good book for just confidence in general.
Speaker 3 (45:15):
Yeah, and it's gotten like little comebacks if someone insults you.
The main takeaway of the book, I'll just tell you,
I prefer if you bought it is like if someone
says something about your body, it means you're powerful because
that person had to stop their day to tell you
something and you never thought once about them.
Speaker 2 (45:31):
Yes, uh, I love that. Yes, guys, Very Fat, Very Brave.
Oh my god, all the things you have so many podcasts.
As always, guys, email us scamcottspot at gmail dot com.
Snitch on your friends your family and yourself. If you
want to find me d I V A l A
c I d elates. You have all platforms if you
want to support a black queen out there, okay, if
you want to do your activism for today, like uh wait,
(45:55):
I was about to say, like a subscribe b just
sign YouTube, subscribe to our show, give me five star
reviews and talk about how lovely of human being that
I am. That's how you can help me. And then
and then you help the black person. Today you get
to go to bed like I did it. I did
something alright, Congregation, Damn Goddess. This has been in the
(46:22):
Earwook production in association with Team Coco Scam Got His
Stars and it's hosted by me Lacy Mosley aka Scam Goddess.
Our producer is Jessica cis Neros and our audio engineer
is rich Garcia. Research for the show is conducted by
Kate Doyle Stay Scheming
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