Automated Phone System

➡︎ Jubal Phone Pranks on The Jubal Show
Need someone to feel the wrath of a Jubal Fresh character? He'll call whoever you want and prank them... so hard. It's funny. Submit yours here: https://forms.gle/mgACgtLBP3SPcyRR7

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• Sharkey - https://jubalshow.com/featured/richard-sharkey/

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another jubile phone frame mornings on the twenties. Hello.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Hello, this is Gary, the automated customer service agent for bank.
There's been some potentially fraudulent charges on the account ending in.
If this is the account holder for the account ending in,
say one. If not, please hang up and have a
good day.

Speaker 1 (00:29):
One.

Speaker 2 (00:30):
Thank you. You said one. To confirm that selection, please
say one. If not, please say two one. Hello. My
name is Gary. I'm the automated customer service agent for bank.
I'm calling with some potentially fraudulent activity on the account
ending in. If this is the account holder for that account,

(00:50):
say one. If not, please hang up and have a
good day.

Speaker 1 (00:53):
One. We've already done this. It's me.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Thank you. You said one. To confirm that selection, please
say one. If not, please.

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Say two, one, one one, one, Okay, come on, I
got stuff to do today. One.

Speaker 2 (01:09):
You selected one. I'm calling in regards to a charge
on your in the amount of thirteen thousand dollars. What
if you approve this charge? Please say one. If not,
please say.

Speaker 1 (01:21):
Two thirteen thousand dollars. What the got it? I'm sorry, person,
got it? I need to talk to a person.

Speaker 2 (01:28):
Got it? You said one? You approved that.

Speaker 1 (01:31):
I did not. I didn't spend thirteen thousand dollars. I
need to talk to a person, not a machine.

Speaker 2 (01:37):
Got it? Please hold?

Speaker 1 (01:39):
Thank you God. This is insane. I need spend thirteen
thousand dollars.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Hello, my name is Gary.

Speaker 1 (01:49):
Oh my god, Gary, off and give me a person.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Got it?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
This is insane. I need a person, got it?

Speaker 2 (01:55):
Please hold?

Speaker 1 (01:57):
Thank you Gary.

Speaker 2 (02:01):
Hello, Oh my god, my name is Gary. I'm the
automated service agent here at bank. We've noticed some activity
of Gary.

Speaker 1 (02:09):
I don't want to talk to you, Gary. I want
to talk to a human being.

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Got it. It sounds like you would like to take
out an auto loan.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
Oh my god, Gary, you give me a person.

Speaker 2 (02:19):
Got it. It sounds like you would like to know
the percent of our auto rates. Please give me a while.

Speaker 1 (02:24):
No, no, no, no, Gary, carry no, stop with the music.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Gary here, Bank, try to make it feel like you're
on making. When you're on hold, please enjoy the whole music.

Speaker 1 (02:35):
It's from the cab the worst bank ever? Are you
hitting me? I didn't spend to give me a person, Sary,
Hell marry No, you mayn I need a person.

Speaker 2 (02:45):
Hello. My name is Gary, Gary, got it?

Speaker 1 (02:48):
Give me a human being. Please, got it? No, you
don't got it. You don't get it at all, Gary,
Gary is watching me a person? Gary's watching what? Gary?

Speaker 2 (02:58):
Were respectful?

Speaker 1 (03:00):
Oh my god, Gary, Well I think you need to
do your job Gary and give me a real person.
You're wasting my time.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
It sounds like you would like to cancel your accounts.
If yes, say what God say?

Speaker 1 (03:13):
I don't want to catch my account. I need a
super vibertulations.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
I will need to transfer you to a real person.
Is that say one? If not, say two?

Speaker 1 (03:23):
Give me a real person? Yes, Gary, got it.

Speaker 2 (03:26):
It sounds like you want to give you your accounts.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
Please No, I know, Harry, I just want to talk
to a real person. What is wrong with you?

Speaker 2 (03:34):
Hey? Bank with Oh is this a person?

Speaker 1 (03:39):
Well? Last time I checked, I am.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
I just got back from the bathroom because I had
a yearn eate and I don't think robots ear innate.

Speaker 1 (03:44):
Why the question? Oh my god, it's just I don't know. Gary,
Your your robot secretary is like trapping me and saying
that I have a thirteen thousand dollars charge and then
I want to hook my account. None of your account?

Speaker 2 (03:57):
I got it?

Speaker 1 (03:58):
Yes, I don't want to take that. Sorry about seven dollars.
Oh my god, I know we automated supervised James, My god, no, Jemmy.

Speaker 2 (04:13):
Hey, this is actually Jubile from the Jubil Show doing
a phone prank on you and your husband set you up.

Speaker 1 (04:18):
It's a joke.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
What he said that you were really irritated with automated
phone systems and wanted me to mess with you.

Speaker 1 (04:25):
Oh my god, I lost my chips. Were so bad.
That's so bad. Wake up every morning with Jubile phone pranks.