Donk the Trainer

➡︎ Jubal Phone Pranks on The Jubal Show
Need someone to feel the wrath of a Jubal Fresh character? He'll call whoever you want and prank them... so hard. It's funny. Submit yours here: https://forms.gle/mgACgtLBP3SPcyRR7

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another jubile phone frame Mornings on the twenties. Hello, Yeah,
it's Donk. I'm sorry, who is this Donk? I hope
you ready to get started because.

Speaker 2 (00:19):
Like I no, I'm sorry, I think you have the
wrong number. I don't know who this is Vanessa.

Speaker 3 (00:28):
Yes, yeah, this is Donk calling from Fitness. Well, my
real name is Paul Donkler, but my friends call me
Donk and you can call me Donk. But I'm a
trainer here and they just told me that I'm going
to be working with you.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
So what up? Okay?

Speaker 3 (00:45):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (00:45):
Yeah, I guess sorry.

Speaker 3 (00:46):
I I didn't really Are you ready to get in
some good sweatology with me?

Speaker 2 (00:52):
I don't really know the means, but yes, I'm ready
for the sessions I signed up for.

Speaker 3 (00:58):
Yeah, so we're gonna get after it, you know what
I mean. And I'm I'm gonna make you ninja sweat like.
That's one thing that I really focus on a lot
with my clients is making sure that they get a
ninja sweat in.

Speaker 2 (01:12):
What the hell is a ninja sweat?

Speaker 1 (01:14):
I've never heard that, you know.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
It's like a thing I came up with for my
workout routines and the sweatology that I do in the
cardio kinetic department, And what that means is like you're
going to be working hell hard and Donk is going
to push you until you sweat like a ninja, you know,
because I'm sure like ninja's probably sweat a lot because
they're like moving around and stuff. So but I think

(01:37):
it sounds pretty cool. So we're going to be making
you a ninja sweat. I hope you're ready for that.

Speaker 2 (01:45):
Wait, I'm sorry you're Dunk or someone else's Donk. Then
I'm gonna be working.

Speaker 1 (01:50):
With I'm Donk.

Speaker 3 (01:52):
Yeah, and I'm excited to like get in there and
crush it with you.

Speaker 1 (01:57):
And like I just want to call them.

Speaker 3 (01:59):
I kind of assets your fitness levels, you know, so
I know how hard to push and get that ninja
sweat out.

Speaker 2 (02:09):
A sess Okay, you know, never mind, I think you're
mispronouncing some things and I'm having trouble understanding you.

Speaker 3 (02:18):
How good though, dude, Let's get an asss in real quick, Okay,
Like you know when it comes to cardio, you know
what I mean?

Speaker 1 (02:27):
Like would you say your.

Speaker 3 (02:28):
Cardio level is like Samurai or you know, like a ducky.

Speaker 2 (02:35):
Oh my god, No, this is not how you evaluate
someone's fitness. So like, I don't understand what this is,
and so I just want a different personal trainer. So
thank you for the call, but can you make sure
that you swap me out with someone else who works there?

Speaker 3 (02:48):
DONK will make you ninja sweat. The other trainers, I
can tell you they don't have Donk's ninja sweat training
cardio kinetic swatology techniques, so perfect.

Speaker 2 (02:59):
I'd like to work with some one who sounds like
they have more than a second grade education, the one
who I can understand and knows actual fitness terms.

Speaker 3 (03:06):
Okay, well, you're like going to be charged for this
session anyway, so like I do what did you do?

Speaker 2 (03:13):
This is like considering, No, no, did you just say
I'm being charged for.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
This phone call?

Speaker 3 (03:19):
Yeah, DONK has to charge you for my sweatspertise that
I used in this phone call, and gratudi is accepted
on all training sessions.

Speaker 1 (03:28):
So like, if you want to throw me like a bone,
that'd be cool.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
If anything, you need to pay me for wasting my time.
This is absurd. I need to talk to someone else.
I'm going to cancel my subscription with this gym. I'm
going to find a completely different facility all because of
Donk and is freaking Ninja sweating.

Speaker 3 (03:48):
Well, then I'll let you know that this is actually
a brank phone call. This is Jubil from the Jubil
Show doing a phone brank on you and your husband
set you up.

Speaker 1 (03:54):
No, no, okay, it's the show again.

Speaker 2 (03:57):
Wait.

Speaker 3 (03:58):
He said that he just booked some training sessions and
he was saying they're gonna get hooked up with a meathead,
so he wanted to mess with you.

Speaker 2 (04:04):
No, no, no, wait, So Donk isn't real.

Speaker 3 (04:10):
I mean, he's real in my mind, but like, I
don't think you're going to be getting an into sweating
with him.

Speaker 1 (04:15):
Sorry, disappointing. Thanks God.

Speaker 2 (04:20):
I was like, do I like to get a lawyer
and see this person is crazy?

Speaker 1 (04:24):
Wake up every morning with Jubile phone Franks