USPS Holding Your Mail

➡︎ Jubal Phone Pranks on The Jubal Show
Need someone to feel the wrath of a Jubal Fresh character? He'll call whoever you want and prank them... so hard. It's funny. Submit yours here: https://forms.gle/mgACgtLBP3SPcyRR7

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another jewbile phone frame Mornings on the twenties. Hello, hello, Colin,
you're looking for something?

Speaker 2 (00:16):
What do you mean?

Speaker 1 (00:16):
I said, Hello, Colin, are you looking for something? Eh?

Speaker 2 (00:22):
I don't sorry, I don't think this is I'm not
really I think you might have the wrong.

Speaker 3 (00:27):
Oh let's see you look. Let me take Colin on
a walk down memory lane. How long has it been
since you got any mail?

Speaker 2 (00:36):
Excuse me? Yeah, I haven't gotten my mail in like
two weeks.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yep.

Speaker 3 (00:41):
My name is Pete Deakins, United States Postal Office employee
at your service or disservice.

Speaker 2 (00:49):
Okay, to where there's my mail man?

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Wouldn't you like to know? Wouldn't you would like to know?

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Yeah? I would like to know. I've been trying to
get a hold of you for weeks. What's going on?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
Oh? Have you have you? Okay?

Speaker 2 (01:04):
Can you stop the condescending thing and just tell me
what's going on?

Speaker 3 (01:08):
Sure, Colin, your mail is at an undisclosed location and
why and you may never see it again.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
Let's see.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
You have wasted three minutes and twenty seven seconds of
my time for two weeks straight.

Speaker 4 (01:22):
I'm wasting your time right now, You're wasting my time
right now?

Speaker 2 (01:26):
What the hell is going on?

Speaker 1 (01:28):
The flag does not belong that, does it.

Speaker 3 (01:31):
If there's no outgoing mail in the mailbox, we put
the flag.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Down, don't we.

Speaker 2 (01:38):
What the are you talking about?

Speaker 3 (01:39):
I'm talking about the last two weeks the flag on
your mailbox has been up. I don't know if you're
just trying to mess up my day, or if you
think it's funny, or if you're filming it for the
YouTube or one of the social media's out there or
the TikTok whatever it is.

Speaker 1 (01:53):
It's not funny.

Speaker 3 (01:54):
It wastes three minutes and twenty seven seconds of my
time every single day because I have to pull off
of my route to check if there's outgoing mail, because
that's the time I check for outgoing mail. And then
I open it up and there's no outgoing mail, and
I put the flag down at night, and the flag
is back up in the morning.

Speaker 4 (02:06):
Okay, so you're holding my mail ransom because the flag
is accidentally up on my mailbox.

Speaker 2 (02:12):
I don't think you can do that, man.

Speaker 1 (02:14):
I think I just did.

Speaker 4 (02:16):
Actually, yeah, you know, the like completely illegal to do
it is illegal to do that.

Speaker 3 (02:22):
It's it is actually, yes, it is a in the
penal system, penal code in the penal system, it's illegal
to lead the flag up on your mailbox with no
outgoing mail. I should knock up to your door, put
you in handcuffs, throw you in the back of my
mail truck, and take you in.

Speaker 4 (02:38):
I yeah, it's not illegal, man, it's not even a misdemeanor.

Speaker 2 (02:42):
It's not even a parking.

Speaker 3 (02:43):
It is highly If it happens again, I'm keeping your
mail until I get a proper apology. And if it
happens again, I'm walking up to your door and I'm
slapping you in cuffs, and I'm putting you in the
backs with the boxes and the other larger packages than
just the mail, and you are coming down to the
precinct with me.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Going to the precinct. What precinc the post office.

Speaker 1 (03:05):
Until the police come and take you. Yeah, I know
cops till the.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
Police until an actual government I'm.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
The government official. I know cops personally.

Speaker 2 (03:12):
Oh, you know cops like I know cops.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I'm the post office.

Speaker 2 (03:17):
You can't do that.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
I'm a Postal Service employee. I can do what I want.

Speaker 2 (03:22):
No, that's not how that went. I'm a ust I.

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Mean postal service employee King COM's got nothing on me.

Speaker 1 (03:30):
Test me, mother, Try.

Speaker 2 (03:32):
It really, but you're doing Denzel.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
I thought it was pretty good, but I will actually
let you know. This is a phone prank. This is
actually Jubil from the Jebel Show doing a phone prank
on you and your wife.

Speaker 1 (03:45):
Migley set you up. It's a joke.

Speaker 4 (03:52):
Doesn't solve the mail problem, but I'm glad we don't
have a psychopath

Speaker 2 (03:58):
Wake up every morning with Jubil phone and praise