Your Holiday Bonus Got Donked

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's another jubile phone frame twenties. Hello, hey Blair, how
you doing. This is pe Dekins. I'm calling from corporate hr.
I don't think we've met before.

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Oh hi, Hi, Hi are you?

Speaker 1 (00:20):
I'm great? A fun day for me. I get to
call people and talk about their holiday bonuses, so that's
why I'm calling. Oh yeah, okay, I know you haven't
dealt with me in the past, but you know it's
my job this year to call and give the good news.
So do you have a minute to talk about your
holiday bonus that you'll be receiving this year?

Speaker 2 (00:37):
Yes, yeah, absolutely, yes, I do.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Very excited about it. And I'm looking at what you
got last year for your holiday bonus and it's you
probably like that a lot, huh.

Speaker 2 (00:48):
I worked very hard.

Speaker 1 (00:51):
Yeah, yes, well, we appreciate your hard work, and that
is why I'm on the phone with you right now.
And for your holiday bonus this year, we are doing
something a little bit different, very exciting though, And I'm
actually got a place on a brief hold and I'm
going to transfer you over to someone who's going to
inform you all about your holiday bonus this year, because
it's a really cool one. Okay, yeah, all right, just

(01:13):
hang on one second, I'll transit right over and the
happy holidays to you and thank you again for all
your hard work.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (01:20):
Yeah, all right, one second, y'all. What's up as DONC
Are you ready or what? Oh?

Speaker 2 (01:30):
I think I think it's my have been a mistake.
I'm actually I was sorry.

Speaker 1 (01:35):
Who is this dog? Well, like my full name is
Paul Donkler, but you know, people just call me donk
and I am ready Blair to give you the D
for the holidays.

Speaker 2 (01:47):
Wait, no, no, no, this must be wrong. I U
my HR company was they were they were? They were
trying yeah, bus.

Speaker 1 (01:58):
And weekend's the one like you were talking to you
a minute ago. Like so, I'm just you know, he's
transferring phone calls to me so I can introduce myself
because like the holiday bonus this year is like ten
personal training sessions with me, and so like just wanted to.

Speaker 2 (02:14):
Go say, hang on, sorry, I just I just want
to clarify. Did you just say that they are saying
that the bonus is ten personal training sessions with you?

Speaker 1 (02:24):
Yeah, and I can't wait to give you and all
your other like employees the D for the holiday season.
Because like the d is new joke.

Speaker 2 (02:33):
Okay, first of all, I'm married and I find that
joke really offensive. Wait what hang on? No, no, no,
Like I literally plan my life around bonuses, so I
don't know what to do right now because I've worked so.

Speaker 1 (02:46):
Hard for god you like you know, like it sounds
like maybe if I'm like picking up on the vibe right,
like you're not interested, and like, no, I'm not interested.

Speaker 2 (02:56):
You're totally right. I'm not interested in personal training when
my job is supposed to give me a bonus for
how hard I've been working the entire year, and then
you're telling me that I'm not getting that bonus, like
I have a child to feed, like I can't. This
is ridiculous, Like why do I even work here?

Speaker 1 (03:15):
I think it was like a little bit out of
my like expertise zone, you know, so like I can
you want to transfer me back to that like.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
People transfer me back? Yeah, transfer me back?

Speaker 1 (03:28):
All right?

Speaker 2 (03:29):
Cool?

Speaker 1 (03:29):
Like sorry, can work out or whatever? You know, maybe, Okay,
thank you. Hold I guess that's p Decon's not going
to help Pete. This is both.

Speaker 2 (03:41):
This is both I have worked myseff and you're giving
me ten personal training sessions? Are you kidding me? Because
I feel so invalidated, Like I literally work so hard
and for what for you to give me some passive
aggressive personal training session to tell me I need to
lose weight? Like, what the fuck is going on? Okay?

Speaker 1 (03:59):
This is the company doesn't have a lot of cash,
so we paid a lot of money to hire this
personal trainer for everybody for the holiday you didn't have.

Speaker 2 (04:06):
You don't have a lot of cash, so you paid
a lot of money to hire This is why you
guys don't have any money, because you guys are bad
at business. This is a you know what, I have
a great resume. I'm gonna go somewhere else, Like this
is ridiculous. Yeah, you hear me quick?

Speaker 1 (04:20):
Well, then I'll let you know. It's a prank phone call.
Just I'll just let you know it's a prank phone
called what this is actually Jubil from the Jubil Show
doing a phone brank on you and your husband Tom
set you up. It's a joke. Oh, you said that
you were worried about your company being cheap this year
for the holiday bonus, and he wanted to mess with you.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Oh my god, my heart is beating so fast right now,
I was so upset, and I have like a meeting
in five minutes. I don't even know how I'm going
to like, oh

Speaker 1 (04:49):
Wake up every morning with jubile phone Branks

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Your Holiday Bonus Got Donked