December 27, 2022 • 28 mins
Popular podcaster, blogger, and New York Times bestselling author, Jen Hatmaker, is our guest today on LOVE SOMEONE! She's so fresh, and fun, and vibrant and smart! She's also a fierce mama of 5, a bright businesswoman, and a woman of faith. I admire her so much and knew she'd be the perfect guest to wrap up our 2022 podcast season.
Jen's new cookbook, "Feed These People" is jam-packed with easy recipes, big flavors and Southern wit. If you ever find yourself cooking for a crew (even a crew of two), you'll love every recipe you find between its pages! Come on in and join Jen and I as we crack each other up and dish on the joys of parenting. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
And just like that, Christmas is a rap. I hope
yours was magical and full of all of the things
that make for happy memories to last the whole year
through that New Year, By the way, is jazz days away.
Are you busy making a list of resolutions? Or like me,
did you give that up a couple of decades ago?
(00:25):
Instead of specific goals, I seem more inclined to give
myself little little pep talks when January rolls around. I
resolved to be better about I don't know self care,
vowing to strike a better balance when it comes to
rest and exercise and nutrition. The dark winter months do
(00:47):
provide time for me to work on indoor art projects,
to read all the books I wanted to get to
over the summer, and ample opportunity to think up fresh
new ideas I might try out in this spring. But
in the meantime, I want you to embrace winter in
all of its wonder My guest on our podcast today
(01:09):
is someone known to embrace and celebrate life through every
twist and turn. She's a New York Times best selling
author of For the Love and Fierce, Free and Full
of Fire, along with twelve other books you might listen
to her award winning for the Love podcast. I'm talking,
(01:30):
of course, about the fabulous Jin Hatmaker. If you were
to visit Jen's web page, you would be greeted with
this statement. I'm going to try to read it just
as she wrote it. I believe women living in freedom
are the answer to all that ails society. When we
are actually who we are, how we are, where we are,
(01:55):
as we are always meant to be, women are the
greatest gifts to this world. My whole life's work is
to serve women as they genuinely show up to their
own lives. We need not fear the truth or hard questions,
or spiritual curiosity, or challenging unjust systems. That is literally
(02:21):
why we are here. Welcome to this community. You are
beloved and necessary and good. Needless to say, I love her.
I can't wait to have a heart to heart conversation
with Jen hat Maker today. I know it's going to
be inspiring. I'm going to share some love with one
(02:43):
of my podcast sponsors first and then we'll get into it.
Visitors to my home or my studio are sure to
notice one thing right away. My love for Tea, one
of my favorites is bigelowt s constant comment. It's been
my go to for years. The aromatic citrus and Spice
Blend is an immediate pick me up first thing in
(03:07):
the morning, during the afternoon slump, or when sitting down
in front of the microphone to spend time with my listeners.
Each evening, even before I take my first sip, I
like to slowly inhale, letting the scent of oranges and
sweet spices fill my lungs and tantalize my taste buds.
(03:28):
It's a little ritual that helps to put me in
the best frame of mind for whatever task lies ahead.
I wonder if Ruth Bigelow did something similar when she
mixed up the first batch of Constant Comment in her
kitchen over seventy five years ago. It wouldn't surprise me.
(03:48):
Love tea, love citrus and spice and everything nice. Don't
forget to add Bigelow's Constant Comment Tea Blend to your
shopping list. It's been lended by the Bigelow family for
three generations, and you'll taste the love they add in
every cup. Our guest on Today's Love Someone is Jen
(04:10):
hat Maker. I was so happy to see you and
I gotta tell you. When your name first popped up
in social media a couple of years ago, I'm like, oh,
she makes hats. I know. I thought it was like
your moniker. And then I get a little research that
she doesn't make hats. That's right, she makes she heals hearts,
(04:33):
and she inspires people and uh, and so I kind
of became a quiet fan. Um. I wouldn't say I
stopped you, but I did. And because I have a
very large, interracial, intercultural, intergenerational family, you were one of
(04:54):
the closest people I had seen to representing a little
bit of my life. Yep. How many of your five
are girls? Two girls, two girls? Three voice? I have eight? Yeah, yeah,
and they don't pull punches. Oh godly, they do not
even care, like no, absolutely, and they're not impressed. Nobody's
(05:15):
impressed here. Nobody's like, um my, we we have a
group chat is unsure you do too. So it's me
and my five kids, and it's always popping off with
like nonsense and sarcasm and dark humor. And my son
Caleb his twenty, sent a meme around that said it
just had a picture of like some weird looking woman
(05:36):
and it was like when somebody you never even heard of,
um is a New York Times bestseller and you're like,
I never even heard of that book. This is clearly
directed at their mom. And I'm like, first of all, rude, Um.
Second of all, you're welcome. I'm sending you do going
to college. Yeah, because mom's book. Thank you, thank you.
(05:57):
But they're like so unimpressed, like whatever, mom, Um, Jim
Garner um endorsed my cookbook and we've become friends anyway.
My kids are impressed about that, but still rude. They're like, Mom,
it's so weird that Jin Garner like endorsed cook They're like,
she must feel sorry for you. I'm like, okay, thanks, thanks,
(06:18):
even more cold blooded than mine. I got to say.
You know, they come by it. Honestly, I can't even
be mad at my kids. Um. They are so cayenne spicy,
but they got it for me. I mean, there is
no way we actually thought. I actually thought, you know what,
I'm going to end up with at least one nice,
(06:40):
like sweet kid, like at least one of them will
be precious because we're gonna adopt, right, so we've got
to adopted kids. I'm like, they don't they're not spoiled
by our d n A. That's right, they're gonna come
in sweet. Oh no, no, no, they're calliane hot. So
I couldn't even adopt precious like we just are. We
are just what we are. And I'm telling you so
(07:01):
yours are almost grown though? How old your youngest sixteen? Yeah?
What are you doing? You need two or three more?
Go Delilah. Now I can call you up. I can
hook you up. Do not manifest that into this universe.
I've been parenting since I was twenty three. I Um,
what's so weird for me right now? I mean absolutely
(07:22):
bizarre world? Is that my fourth kid, Ben as a
freshman of college, so he moved out in August. And
my fifth kid, Remy, who's a junior, is doing her
junior year in Spain as a foreign exchange student. My point,
nobody lives here right now, nobody. I'm child. I gotta
hook you up. I gotta hook you I don't know
(07:47):
how to be, like, I don't know what to do.
I don't know. We don't even know how to cook,
Like how do you cook for one person? I don't
you know what I do as I eat yogurt or
I'm just like, I don't want to make a I
don't know what to do with myself, so I go
to hummus on on flower tortillas. I'm as right. I
had hammas and cucumbers for lunch hummus on flower tortillas
(08:09):
when I'm alone. But I'm never alone, so I don't
get that very often. Well, frankly, all my kids live
in Austin, all and my brother and his wife and
their little sons who were preschoolers, they are five minutes away.
So that's what I do. They call them and say,
I've made an entire dinner. Would you like him? I
made a butterboard with Tricia year, would come and share
(08:31):
it with me? That's just come and share it, like,
I'm exactly right, that's not untrue. And so I'm actually
gonna do a butterboard this year for the for the family. Yeah,
I think for the years, I think we'll pay attention
to that. Because people got like real wild about that trend.
I was thinking, who wouldn't want this? I want to
dread their bread with butter and olive oil and garlic.
(08:54):
Peopoth don't love well, they either love it or hate it.
But the haters are like, that is so gross. I'm like,
what is gross about butter? It's delicious. It's like, look
at all this stuff we put on it. It's now
it's even better. It's fancy butter um. But no, they're like,
I don't like it. I'm like, well, yeah, well you're
a portion more butter for me. People they probably wouldn't like.
(09:17):
I saw a recipe for you put caramels like were
there's candy in a pan with butter, lots of butter
that you throw a popcorn in it and you pop
the popcorn with the were there's caramels melted with the butter.
I'm like, oh yeah, oh yeah, try it. Not yet,
I just saw it. I'm like, oh yeah, mama's doing that.
(09:40):
But we can't do that. I can get behind. We
can't do that for a movie night because that will
make a huge mess all over everything. So true. And
I have a real history of burning caramel. I just
can't quite get it right. And so the smell of
scorched caramel is so like, I have such muscle memory
for it because I just I can't do it. Like
I want to make toffee eat what I have is burned,
(10:01):
but I just cannot. This is outside of my skill set,
and so I am willing to try your trend and
I will like send my notes okay, but we'll try it.
Try it. Yeah. So that's about the only candy I
make is Christmas crack. Have you made that with the
crackers and the toffee? And I could eat gallons of it?
I do eat gallons. I do. Yeah. Have you had
(10:24):
it where you smash the peppermint candy on top? Absolutely?
And it's so good there's no bad iteration of it,
Like every version of the Christmas crack? I want to
have it. And I'm not even really a distorted person.
I'm not a sweet person. I don't make a lot
of sweets. I don't bake, but that stuff with the
salty crack. Yeah, and if you put a little sea
(10:47):
salt on top of it as the chocolate melting, yeah
the best. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did many many batches
of Christmas crack for Christmas gifts. We go down to
the thrift stores and I buy like plates, Christmas plates,
you know, for a quarter apiece, and then wash them
and load them up with a Christmas crack and wrap
(11:08):
them up to the plastic and give them. That is
such a cute idea. Look how cute you are as
you were being darling when you do that. I am
the thrift store queen, Like, what do you what are
you on the prowl for when you're thrift ng Because
generally good thrifts have a few categories that they specialize in.
(11:32):
Art supplies, always art supplies. Never enough art supplies in
the world. There's never enough paint or paint brushes or
because unlike you who stopped after five, I kept going
and yeah, so I've you know, I've got a house
full of littles, and so pipe cleaners and beads. Pipe
(11:54):
cleaners and beads will keep a six year old entertained
for an hour. My nephews are two four, and I
have six drawers of art supplies. And it's just it's
endless fun. It doesn't matter what it is. Table cloth,
no matter what it is. Yeah, just put it out, plastic,
tablecloth down, put it out. No glitter though I stopped
(12:15):
at the gloves. Oh so anti glitter. If you come
to my house, I don't have nice furniture. I don't
have pitching dishes or plates. Um literally, they'll just break
them they're gonna get broken. And they take the nice
utensils when I have them, they take them in their
lunch box, like to basketball practice, and if they don't
(12:37):
come home with them. So why, okay, isn't that the
weirdest thing? I like, really want I want to analytics
on this. And in my house when all the kids
lived here, You're so right about the utensils, And for me,
it was almost exclusively forks. So I would have three
d knives literally anywhere, like we just these are the
(13:00):
two we have. Who gets them? The rest of you,
I don't know, eat with your hands like a bear. Like.
It was just so weird. And now that they're all gone,
I have no I have forks and you don't. Else,
I'll have cups and they live in the kitchen where
they belong. It's the weirdest phenomenon. I'm like, look at
all these cups I have. They're not under beds, they're
not just propped up next to the upstairs bathroom sink.
(13:21):
They just live on the shelf where they belong. It's
a miracle. Look at this. Yeah, I'm not there yet.
I will be a thousand years old when I'm there,
I will be Enthuselah. Yeah, so you said you were
twenty three when you started parenting. That's right. I had
(13:41):
my first time when else twenty three. I was twenty one.
I married a man that had two children, and um,
then we had a baby together and so it was
just me and my son for several years, and I
was like, hey, god, I really want more children. I
really want more children. And the doctor said, that's not
probably going to happen. So, um, you know, we've got options,
(14:05):
there's medical intervention or whatever. That's right. I mean, not
to that extent, but I came from a big family
and then I created a big family, and so big
family energy is just all I know. I don't any
time that we were ever out in the world and
I would see a sweet little family with like their
one or two little kids and they're at the restaurant
(14:26):
and everybody's quietly, I would just be like, what is
that even happening? What is that even? Like? What is
their world? Like? Why aren't they all yelling and like
hollering it or like like I do with my sisters
and brother talking over each other, and somehow we hear
it all like no one's missing a word, but we
can all talk at once and still can be communicating
(14:50):
like on the nose, and everybody else observing is just
like this is overwhelming. I'm like, I it's it is,
it is. You are right, it is, um, But Christmas
your house, Holidays at your house, birthdays at your house
look like yeah, wild, So what are you working on?
You have a cookbook that's out Tell me about that,
(15:11):
and that is comprising all my hours of all my
days right now. It just came out. It just came
out like three weeks ago, a feeding that and it's
called Feed These People. And it was just so fun.
I mean, that's what I do. That's my life as
I feed these people. And so it's funny and it's obnoxious.
It's got a lot of swear words in it. Um.
(15:31):
It was so fun to write. It's outside my normal genre,
you know, I normally right, nonfiction books for women, you know,
kind of in empowerment space and like emotional and spiritual
development space and all that, um and this so this
was a real departure from my normal thing. I've been
writing about food online for years and years and years,
(15:51):
just but in an obnoxious way. And my community was like, gen,
we want you to write us a cookbook, but don't
get good do it just like this the way that
you write about it, like on on social media, that's
how we want you to write your cookbook. And I'm like,
first of all, I think that's a little rude, but
I know what you mean, m because they're long, rambly, hilarious, nonsense,
(16:14):
very sketchy quantities um And it's just so you measure
like I do, where it's like like some yeah, some
some taste or and then add some more yeah you
like some more? Um so yeah, my editor everybody's like, Delilah,
you cook all the time, like I cook for at
least eight to ten people every day of my life.
(16:38):
They're like, why don't you why don't you have a
cookbook at I'm like, no, no, because how would I
like people have to be able to follow a recipe
that's right through all my recipes that I just make.
I'm like an intuitive cook and um, did you have
somebody measure what it was for you? I had to
(16:58):
keep a notebook right and I can't do that. I
can do right down, Like I would just grab how
much would you use jen just like if you were
just doing it, I would grab it, and then I
would be like, how much is this? Yeah, that's exactly
reverse engineer. I can't do a recipe. I can't do it.
I can't. I can't do it. So I'll just tell
people to go get Jen hat Makers book. And I'm sure, like,
(17:23):
is there a recipe for your lasagna? Is there? There's
a pasta bake. I call it a lazy lasagna. That's
in the chapter. I have a chapter called food when
You Have No More Damns to Give, and that one's
in there. It's like a lazy lasagna. Um, this is
like a it's a cookbook for normals. You know. It's
not a chef's cookbook. This is just for people like
me and you who just stand in our kitchen and
(17:44):
cook for the people that live here. Um so, and
and nothing's hard, nothing's fancy. This is not I'm not credential,
I'm unqualified. Like this is just really yummy food for
normal families. And so it was really a blast. I
loved it. So I'm I just I just came off tour.
I just got home like two days ago, um from
(18:04):
the book tour, and it was wild. We slept on
a bus. I have decided I'm too old for that,
and so um that was a new bit of data
that I procured. Yeah. I I have those realizations all
the time where I'm like, when I go to Africa,
stay in a refugee camp, you know, we we sleep
on the floor on mats or whatever, and and and
(18:25):
I am too old for that, Like my body is like,
oh jin oh, come on, like you're forty eight. Let's
think us went through let's think. Let's think clearly. So
bus on a couch on a bus? Yeah, no, because
you have to look good on TV. Yeah, we were
doing live events, like we were in a different city
(18:47):
every night, so it was like packed theaters, like you know,
thousand plus women in every location, plus the handful of
rogueman who come to everything. And um, yeah because you're
because you have it's because of their wives. Let's be honest.
Their wives are like, look, these poor husbands are like, look,
my wife has been reading me against my will. You're
(19:09):
writing for so many years, like while I'm drug drug
me to this. Yeah, they're like, I'm coming. I deserve
to get to see you because I have been like
a reluctant reader all these years via my wife. And
so I'm like coming in everybody'sing, isn't gin incredible? Will
continue our conversation right after I sing the praises of
(19:29):
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(19:50):
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Get started at forever dot com and use promo code
love for percent off. So you want to know a
funny fact about my sappy love song show. Yeah, I
get more calls from men than I do from women.
I cannot air them. I I don't put them on
(21:46):
the air most of the time because people who listen
listen for stories. So when a man calls me and
he's ready to pour out his heart, he says, I
want to play a song for Jen. She's my rock.
That's it. That's their story. It's the beginning, middle, and
in the whole thing. In thirty seconds, she's my rock.
(22:12):
And so I'll lead them down the path. You know,
I'll say, well, what is it? What qualities does jin
embody that makes her your your solid place, your touchstone.
She's not my touchstone, She's a rock. She's my rock. Okay, Okay, thanks,
thanks a lot, and then you know, like riveting listening
(22:35):
exactly their hearts are in it. Their hearts are in it.
But so then I'll have to do a double up.
I call them where you know. Then then Susan, I'll
collin before I even say hi, welcome to the Delily Show.
She's just told me her entire life story and why
she wants a song for her boyfriend, and you know,
(22:55):
and so then I'll weave in. I just talked to
Billy who wanted a song for Jin because Jesus rock,
you know, And I'll double it up. I love it. Listen, men,
and I know this and so to you because we've
raised to them. And so I have those young adult
boys and I think we're talking about my current husband
(23:18):
nice one. Boys. Boys have all the same feelings as girls.
They're goopy, they're squishy, they're soft, they cry when they
get broken up with their wildly sentimental Now they may
not wrap it with as much language and as many
words as women do, but it is all in there.
(23:40):
I'm telling you those boys right pages of like love notes,
and they make they need to call me because I'm
getting is she's my rock. They need to be the
ones to call me. They need to call me and
read that love letter to me telling you. I'm telling
you I've watched him like stay in their for four
(24:00):
days after a particular hard break up. Their boys are boys,
could be pretty tender to they They're very in fact,
I think they are sometimes more tender, but because there's
so much pressure on them to be tough that that
causes quite a conflict. You know, in the world's demanding
that you be this when in reality you've got a
(24:21):
sweet sweetheart. At that's hard. It is hard. I completely agree.
Um So keeping them soft and able to be vulnerable
at least in their own home and be able to
talk about their feelings without getting shamed for it or
told to buck up or to stop crying. I think
it's important hopefully that transfers to their relationships as they
(24:46):
kind of launch or like, so that they'll call my
show and give me more than cheese, my rock Y.
That's exactly right, right, Let's let's give him some home training.
Thank you around, Thank you, Jen, has been delightful to
talk to you. I I get to go muck stalls
now and very glamorous. Yeah, and take care of a
(25:08):
a four year old almost four year old that that
has recently become a part of our family, not a
permanent part. She's she's here for a medical services UM,
but she is hearing impaired. So we're learning sign and
then teaching her sign, which is very exciting. And my
my thirteen year old daughter has led the charge. She's
(25:30):
like taking it on. She's like, Mom, we're gonna learn this,
We're going to do this, and she's really been the
teacher of all of us, which is kind of amazing
to see her take a leadership role like that. I
absolutely love this. My first three kids, when they were
in high school, all shows a s L as their
foreign language. That was an option for them, and so
(25:51):
they're all fluent in sign language. And so when when
my youngers were younger and I needed a nanny in
the summer because I still work full time, I hired
a nanny who was hearing impaired and so they only
spoken sign language and it was just so amazing, and
even her introducing my kids to the deaf community, we
have a pretty large one here in Austin because we've
(26:12):
got a huge school here. UM was so great. They're
still talking about it years and years and years and
years later. So it's a wonderful way to enricher family
and also love her. Is that nanny still available? Could
use your number of friends? Yeah? Well, thank you, thank you,
(26:35):
God bless. I'm so glad we Matt I loved you
for ever. Jen's new cookbook, Feed These People is jam
packed with easy recipes, big flavors in southern wit. Do
you ever find yourself cooking for a crew, even a
crew of two. You'll love every recipe you find between
its pages. It's available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.
(26:56):
I'm so happy Jim pulled up a chair and joined
us today. She's fresh, she's fun, she's vibrant and smart.
She's also a fierce mama of five, a bright businesswoman,
and a woman of faith. I admire her. Jin two
is co founder of Legacy Collective, a giving organization that
grants millions of dollars towards sustainable projects around the world,
(27:20):
such as the Florida Relief Fund and so many more. Today,
it's raised over six million dollars for funding of more
than one hundred and forty different grants to more than
one hundred nonprofits across four continents, and more than fifteen
cause areas Wow just Wow. To learn more about Jen,
(27:42):
her books, her podcast, or to read some of her
amazing blog post, visit jin hatmaker dot com. The time
to burn the candles, sip the t crack open the books,
and get cozy is here. All through this long dark Winner,
I'll be taking your calls and debtic Asians, playing your
favorite tunes, and helping you smooth off the rough edges
(28:04):
of your day via my radio program. I'll keep having
great conversations with inspiring people and sharing them with you
on Love Someone with Delilah, and I'll keep dropping my
short daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah, where you can hear
my best radio moments anytime you need a little pick
me up. Winter is here, but so am I, and
(28:27):
we'll get through it together. My friend, do me a favor.
Take some time out of your winter schedule to slow
down and love someone
And just like that, Christmas is a rap. I hope
yours was magical and full of all of the things
that make for happy memories to last the whole year
through that New Year, By the way, is jazz days away.
Are you busy making a list of resolutions? Or like me,
did you give that up a couple of decades ago?
(00:25):
Instead of specific goals, I seem more inclined to give
myself little little pep talks when January rolls around. I
resolved to be better about I don't know self care,
vowing to strike a better balance when it comes to
rest and exercise and nutrition. The dark winter months do
(00:47):
provide time for me to work on indoor art projects,
to read all the books I wanted to get to
over the summer, and ample opportunity to think up fresh
new ideas I might try out in this spring. But
in the meantime, I want you to embrace winter in
all of its wonder My guest on our podcast today
(01:09):
is someone known to embrace and celebrate life through every
twist and turn. She's a New York Times best selling
author of For the Love and Fierce, Free and Full
of Fire, along with twelve other books you might listen
to her award winning for the Love podcast. I'm talking,
(01:30):
of course, about the fabulous Jin Hatmaker. If you were
to visit Jen's web page, you would be greeted with
this statement. I'm going to try to read it just
as she wrote it. I believe women living in freedom
are the answer to all that ails society. When we
are actually who we are, how we are, where we are,
(01:55):
as we are always meant to be, women are the
greatest gifts to this world. My whole life's work is
to serve women as they genuinely show up to their
own lives. We need not fear the truth or hard questions,
or spiritual curiosity, or challenging unjust systems. That is literally
(02:21):
why we are here. Welcome to this community. You are
beloved and necessary and good. Needless to say, I love her.
I can't wait to have a heart to heart conversation
with Jen hat Maker today. I know it's going to
be inspiring. I'm going to share some love with one
(02:43):
of my podcast sponsors first and then we'll get into it.
Visitors to my home or my studio are sure to
notice one thing right away. My love for Tea, one
of my favorites is bigelowt s constant comment. It's been
my go to for years. The aromatic citrus and Spice
Blend is an immediate pick me up first thing in
(03:07):
the morning, during the afternoon slump, or when sitting down
in front of the microphone to spend time with my listeners.
Each evening, even before I take my first sip, I
like to slowly inhale, letting the scent of oranges and
sweet spices fill my lungs and tantalize my taste buds.
(03:28):
It's a little ritual that helps to put me in
the best frame of mind for whatever task lies ahead.
I wonder if Ruth Bigelow did something similar when she
mixed up the first batch of Constant Comment in her
kitchen over seventy five years ago. It wouldn't surprise me.
(03:48):
Love tea, love citrus and spice and everything nice. Don't
forget to add Bigelow's Constant Comment Tea Blend to your
shopping list. It's been lended by the Bigelow family for
three generations, and you'll taste the love they add in
every cup. Our guest on Today's Love Someone is Jen
(04:10):
hat Maker. I was so happy to see you and
I gotta tell you. When your name first popped up
in social media a couple of years ago, I'm like, oh,
she makes hats. I know. I thought it was like
your moniker. And then I get a little research that
she doesn't make hats. That's right, she makes she heals hearts,
(04:33):
and she inspires people and uh, and so I kind
of became a quiet fan. Um. I wouldn't say I
stopped you, but I did. And because I have a
very large, interracial, intercultural, intergenerational family, you were one of
(04:54):
the closest people I had seen to representing a little
bit of my life. Yep. How many of your five
are girls? Two girls, two girls? Three voice? I have eight? Yeah, yeah,
and they don't pull punches. Oh godly, they do not
even care, like no, absolutely, and they're not impressed. Nobody's
(05:15):
impressed here. Nobody's like, um my, we we have a
group chat is unsure you do too. So it's me
and my five kids, and it's always popping off with
like nonsense and sarcasm and dark humor. And my son
Caleb his twenty, sent a meme around that said it
just had a picture of like some weird looking woman
(05:36):
and it was like when somebody you never even heard of,
um is a New York Times bestseller and you're like,
I never even heard of that book. This is clearly
directed at their mom. And I'm like, first of all, rude, Um.
Second of all, you're welcome. I'm sending you do going
to college. Yeah, because mom's book. Thank you, thank you.
(05:57):
But they're like so unimpressed, like whatever, mom, Um, Jim
Garner um endorsed my cookbook and we've become friends anyway.
My kids are impressed about that, but still rude. They're like, Mom,
it's so weird that Jin Garner like endorsed cook They're like,
she must feel sorry for you. I'm like, okay, thanks, thanks,
(06:18):
even more cold blooded than mine. I got to say.
You know, they come by it. Honestly, I can't even
be mad at my kids. Um. They are so cayenne spicy,
but they got it for me. I mean, there is
no way we actually thought. I actually thought, you know what,
I'm going to end up with at least one nice,
(06:40):
like sweet kid, like at least one of them will
be precious because we're gonna adopt, right, so we've got
to adopted kids. I'm like, they don't they're not spoiled
by our d n A. That's right, they're gonna come
in sweet. Oh no, no, no, they're calliane hot. So
I couldn't even adopt precious like we just are. We
are just what we are. And I'm telling you so
(07:01):
yours are almost grown though? How old your youngest sixteen? Yeah?
What are you doing? You need two or three more?
Go Delilah. Now I can call you up. I can
hook you up. Do not manifest that into this universe.
I've been parenting since I was twenty three. I Um,
what's so weird for me right now? I mean absolutely
(07:22):
bizarre world? Is that my fourth kid, Ben as a
freshman of college, so he moved out in August. And
my fifth kid, Remy, who's a junior, is doing her
junior year in Spain as a foreign exchange student. My point,
nobody lives here right now, nobody. I'm child. I gotta
hook you up. I gotta hook you I don't know
(07:47):
how to be, like, I don't know what to do.
I don't know. We don't even know how to cook,
Like how do you cook for one person? I don't
you know what I do as I eat yogurt or
I'm just like, I don't want to make a I
don't know what to do with myself, so I go
to hummus on on flower tortillas. I'm as right. I
had hammas and cucumbers for lunch hummus on flower tortillas
(08:09):
when I'm alone. But I'm never alone, so I don't
get that very often. Well, frankly, all my kids live
in Austin, all and my brother and his wife and
their little sons who were preschoolers, they are five minutes away.
So that's what I do. They call them and say,
I've made an entire dinner. Would you like him? I
made a butterboard with Tricia year, would come and share
(08:31):
it with me? That's just come and share it, like,
I'm exactly right, that's not untrue. And so I'm actually
gonna do a butterboard this year for the for the family. Yeah,
I think for the years, I think we'll pay attention
to that. Because people got like real wild about that trend.
I was thinking, who wouldn't want this? I want to
dread their bread with butter and olive oil and garlic.
(08:54):
Peopoth don't love well, they either love it or hate it.
But the haters are like, that is so gross. I'm like,
what is gross about butter? It's delicious. It's like, look
at all this stuff we put on it. It's now
it's even better. It's fancy butter um. But no, they're like,
I don't like it. I'm like, well, yeah, well you're
a portion more butter for me. People they probably wouldn't like.
(09:17):
I saw a recipe for you put caramels like were
there's candy in a pan with butter, lots of butter
that you throw a popcorn in it and you pop
the popcorn with the were there's caramels melted with the butter.
I'm like, oh yeah, oh yeah, try it. Not yet,
I just saw it. I'm like, oh yeah, mama's doing that.
(09:40):
But we can't do that. I can get behind. We
can't do that for a movie night because that will
make a huge mess all over everything. So true. And
I have a real history of burning caramel. I just
can't quite get it right. And so the smell of
scorched caramel is so like, I have such muscle memory
for it because I just I can't do it. Like
I want to make toffee eat what I have is burned,
(10:01):
but I just cannot. This is outside of my skill set,
and so I am willing to try your trend and
I will like send my notes okay, but we'll try it.
Try it. Yeah. So that's about the only candy I
make is Christmas crack. Have you made that with the
crackers and the toffee? And I could eat gallons of it?
I do eat gallons. I do. Yeah. Have you had
(10:24):
it where you smash the peppermint candy on top? Absolutely?
And it's so good there's no bad iteration of it,
Like every version of the Christmas crack? I want to
have it. And I'm not even really a distorted person.
I'm not a sweet person. I don't make a lot
of sweets. I don't bake, but that stuff with the
salty crack. Yeah, and if you put a little sea
(10:47):
salt on top of it as the chocolate melting, yeah
the best. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I did many many batches
of Christmas crack for Christmas gifts. We go down to
the thrift stores and I buy like plates, Christmas plates,
you know, for a quarter apiece, and then wash them
and load them up with a Christmas crack and wrap
(11:08):
them up to the plastic and give them. That is
such a cute idea. Look how cute you are as
you were being darling when you do that. I am
the thrift store queen, Like, what do you what are
you on the prowl for when you're thrift ng Because
generally good thrifts have a few categories that they specialize in.
(11:32):
Art supplies, always art supplies. Never enough art supplies in
the world. There's never enough paint or paint brushes or
because unlike you who stopped after five, I kept going
and yeah, so I've you know, I've got a house
full of littles, and so pipe cleaners and beads. Pipe
(11:54):
cleaners and beads will keep a six year old entertained
for an hour. My nephews are two four, and I
have six drawers of art supplies. And it's just it's
endless fun. It doesn't matter what it is. Table cloth,
no matter what it is. Yeah, just put it out, plastic,
tablecloth down, put it out. No glitter though I stopped
(12:15):
at the gloves. Oh so anti glitter. If you come
to my house, I don't have nice furniture. I don't
have pitching dishes or plates. Um literally, they'll just break
them they're gonna get broken. And they take the nice
utensils when I have them, they take them in their
lunch box, like to basketball practice, and if they don't
(12:37):
come home with them. So why, okay, isn't that the
weirdest thing? I like, really want I want to analytics
on this. And in my house when all the kids
lived here, You're so right about the utensils, And for me,
it was almost exclusively forks. So I would have three
d knives literally anywhere, like we just these are the
(13:00):
two we have. Who gets them? The rest of you,
I don't know, eat with your hands like a bear. Like.
It was just so weird. And now that they're all gone,
I have no I have forks and you don't. Else,
I'll have cups and they live in the kitchen where
they belong. It's the weirdest phenomenon. I'm like, look at
all these cups I have. They're not under beds, they're
not just propped up next to the upstairs bathroom sink.
(13:21):
They just live on the shelf where they belong. It's
a miracle. Look at this. Yeah, I'm not there yet.
I will be a thousand years old when I'm there,
I will be Enthuselah. Yeah, so you said you were
twenty three when you started parenting. That's right. I had
(13:41):
my first time when else twenty three. I was twenty one.
I married a man that had two children, and um,
then we had a baby together and so it was
just me and my son for several years, and I
was like, hey, god, I really want more children. I
really want more children. And the doctor said, that's not
probably going to happen. So, um, you know, we've got options,
(14:05):
there's medical intervention or whatever. That's right. I mean, not
to that extent, but I came from a big family
and then I created a big family, and so big
family energy is just all I know. I don't any
time that we were ever out in the world and
I would see a sweet little family with like their
one or two little kids and they're at the restaurant
(14:26):
and everybody's quietly, I would just be like, what is
that even happening? What is that even? Like? What is
their world? Like? Why aren't they all yelling and like
hollering it or like like I do with my sisters
and brother talking over each other, and somehow we hear
it all like no one's missing a word, but we
can all talk at once and still can be communicating
(14:50):
like on the nose, and everybody else observing is just
like this is overwhelming. I'm like, I it's it is,
it is. You are right, it is, um, But Christmas
your house, Holidays at your house, birthdays at your house
look like yeah, wild, So what are you working on?
You have a cookbook that's out Tell me about that,
(15:11):
and that is comprising all my hours of all my
days right now. It just came out. It just came
out like three weeks ago, a feeding that and it's
called Feed These People. And it was just so fun.
I mean, that's what I do. That's my life as
I feed these people. And so it's funny and it's obnoxious.
It's got a lot of swear words in it. Um.
(15:31):
It was so fun to write. It's outside my normal genre,
you know, I normally right, nonfiction books for women, you know,
kind of in empowerment space and like emotional and spiritual
development space and all that, um and this so this
was a real departure from my normal thing. I've been
writing about food online for years and years and years,
(15:51):
just but in an obnoxious way. And my community was like, gen,
we want you to write us a cookbook, but don't
get good do it just like this the way that
you write about it, like on on social media, that's
how we want you to write your cookbook. And I'm like,
first of all, I think that's a little rude, but
I know what you mean, m because they're long, rambly, hilarious, nonsense,
(16:14):
very sketchy quantities um And it's just so you measure
like I do, where it's like like some yeah, some
some taste or and then add some more yeah you
like some more? Um so yeah, my editor everybody's like, Delilah,
you cook all the time, like I cook for at
least eight to ten people every day of my life.
(16:38):
They're like, why don't you why don't you have a
cookbook at I'm like, no, no, because how would I
like people have to be able to follow a recipe
that's right through all my recipes that I just make.
I'm like an intuitive cook and um, did you have
somebody measure what it was for you? I had to
(16:58):
keep a notebook right and I can't do that. I
can do right down, Like I would just grab how
much would you use jen just like if you were
just doing it, I would grab it, and then I
would be like, how much is this? Yeah, that's exactly
reverse engineer. I can't do a recipe. I can't do it.
I can't. I can't do it. So I'll just tell
people to go get Jen hat Makers book. And I'm sure, like,
(17:23):
is there a recipe for your lasagna? Is there? There's
a pasta bake. I call it a lazy lasagna. That's
in the chapter. I have a chapter called food when
You Have No More Damns to Give, and that one's
in there. It's like a lazy lasagna. Um, this is
like a it's a cookbook for normals. You know. It's
not a chef's cookbook. This is just for people like
me and you who just stand in our kitchen and
(17:44):
cook for the people that live here. Um so, and
and nothing's hard, nothing's fancy. This is not I'm not credential,
I'm unqualified. Like this is just really yummy food for
normal families. And so it was really a blast. I
loved it. So I'm I just I just came off tour.
I just got home like two days ago, um from
(18:04):
the book tour, and it was wild. We slept on
a bus. I have decided I'm too old for that,
and so um that was a new bit of data
that I procured. Yeah. I I have those realizations all
the time where I'm like, when I go to Africa,
stay in a refugee camp, you know, we we sleep
on the floor on mats or whatever, and and and
(18:25):
I am too old for that, Like my body is like,
oh jin oh, come on, like you're forty eight. Let's
think us went through let's think. Let's think clearly. So
bus on a couch on a bus? Yeah, no, because
you have to look good on TV. Yeah, we were
doing live events, like we were in a different city
(18:47):
every night, so it was like packed theaters, like you know,
thousand plus women in every location, plus the handful of
rogueman who come to everything. And um, yeah because you're
because you have it's because of their wives. Let's be honest.
Their wives are like, look, these poor husbands are like, look,
my wife has been reading me against my will. You're
(19:09):
writing for so many years, like while I'm drug drug
me to this. Yeah, they're like, I'm coming. I deserve
to get to see you because I have been like
a reluctant reader all these years via my wife. And
so I'm like coming in everybody'sing, isn't gin incredible? Will
continue our conversation right after I sing the praises of
(19:29):
today's podcast sponsor. This podcast is sponsored by a company
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(19:50):
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Get started at forever dot com and use promo code
love for percent off. So you want to know a
funny fact about my sappy love song show. Yeah, I
get more calls from men than I do from women.
I cannot air them. I I don't put them on
(21:46):
the air most of the time because people who listen
listen for stories. So when a man calls me and
he's ready to pour out his heart, he says, I
want to play a song for Jen. She's my rock.
That's it. That's their story. It's the beginning, middle, and
in the whole thing. In thirty seconds, she's my rock.
(22:12):
And so I'll lead them down the path. You know,
I'll say, well, what is it? What qualities does jin
embody that makes her your your solid place, your touchstone.
She's not my touchstone, She's a rock. She's my rock. Okay, Okay, thanks,
thanks a lot, and then you know, like riveting listening
(22:35):
exactly their hearts are in it. Their hearts are in it.
But so then I'll have to do a double up.
I call them where you know. Then then Susan, I'll
collin before I even say hi, welcome to the Delily Show.
She's just told me her entire life story and why
she wants a song for her boyfriend, and you know,
(22:55):
and so then I'll weave in. I just talked to
Billy who wanted a song for Jin because Jesus rock,
you know, And I'll double it up. I love it. Listen, men,
and I know this and so to you because we've
raised to them. And so I have those young adult
boys and I think we're talking about my current husband
(23:18):
nice one. Boys. Boys have all the same feelings as girls.
They're goopy, they're squishy, they're soft, they cry when they
get broken up with their wildly sentimental Now they may
not wrap it with as much language and as many
words as women do, but it is all in there.
(23:40):
I'm telling you those boys right pages of like love notes,
and they make they need to call me because I'm
getting is she's my rock. They need to be the
ones to call me. They need to call me and
read that love letter to me telling you. I'm telling
you I've watched him like stay in their for four
(24:00):
days after a particular hard break up. Their boys are boys,
could be pretty tender to they They're very in fact,
I think they are sometimes more tender, but because there's
so much pressure on them to be tough that that
causes quite a conflict. You know, in the world's demanding
that you be this when in reality you've got a
(24:21):
sweet sweetheart. At that's hard. It is hard. I completely agree.
Um So keeping them soft and able to be vulnerable
at least in their own home and be able to
talk about their feelings without getting shamed for it or
told to buck up or to stop crying. I think
it's important hopefully that transfers to their relationships as they
(24:46):
kind of launch or like, so that they'll call my
show and give me more than cheese, my rock Y.
That's exactly right, right, Let's let's give him some home training.
Thank you around, Thank you, Jen, has been delightful to
talk to you. I I get to go muck stalls
now and very glamorous. Yeah, and take care of a
(25:08):
a four year old almost four year old that that
has recently become a part of our family, not a
permanent part. She's she's here for a medical services UM,
but she is hearing impaired. So we're learning sign and
then teaching her sign, which is very exciting. And my
my thirteen year old daughter has led the charge. She's
(25:30):
like taking it on. She's like, Mom, we're gonna learn this,
We're going to do this, and she's really been the
teacher of all of us, which is kind of amazing
to see her take a leadership role like that. I
absolutely love this. My first three kids, when they were
in high school, all shows a s L as their
foreign language. That was an option for them, and so
(25:51):
they're all fluent in sign language. And so when when
my youngers were younger and I needed a nanny in
the summer because I still work full time, I hired
a nanny who was hearing impaired and so they only
spoken sign language and it was just so amazing, and
even her introducing my kids to the deaf community, we
have a pretty large one here in Austin because we've
(26:12):
got a huge school here. UM was so great. They're
still talking about it years and years and years and
years later. So it's a wonderful way to enricher family
and also love her. Is that nanny still available? Could
use your number of friends? Yeah? Well, thank you, thank you,
(26:35):
God bless. I'm so glad we Matt I loved you
for ever. Jen's new cookbook, Feed These People is jam
packed with easy recipes, big flavors in southern wit. Do
you ever find yourself cooking for a crew, even a
crew of two. You'll love every recipe you find between
its pages. It's available on Amazon and everywhere books are sold.
(26:56):
I'm so happy Jim pulled up a chair and joined
us today. She's fresh, she's fun, she's vibrant and smart.
She's also a fierce mama of five, a bright businesswoman,
and a woman of faith. I admire her. Jin two
is co founder of Legacy Collective, a giving organization that
grants millions of dollars towards sustainable projects around the world,
(27:20):
such as the Florida Relief Fund and so many more. Today,
it's raised over six million dollars for funding of more
than one hundred and forty different grants to more than
one hundred nonprofits across four continents, and more than fifteen
cause areas Wow just Wow. To learn more about Jen,
(27:42):
her books, her podcast, or to read some of her
amazing blog post, visit jin hatmaker dot com. The time
to burn the candles, sip the t crack open the books,
and get cozy is here. All through this long dark Winner,
I'll be taking your calls and debtic Asians, playing your
favorite tunes, and helping you smooth off the rough edges
(28:04):
of your day via my radio program. I'll keep having
great conversations with inspiring people and sharing them with you
on Love Someone with Delilah, and I'll keep dropping my
short daily podcast. Hey it's Delilah, where you can hear
my best radio moments anytime you need a little pick
me up. Winter is here, but so am I, and
(28:27):
we'll get through it together. My friend, do me a favor.
Take some time out of your winter schedule to slow
down and love someone
Host
Delilah
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