April 13, 2025 • 34 mins
Johnjay and Blake are this week's host of COUPLES THERAPY! They get personal about their relationship, parenting, careers. Nothing is off limits...including calling one of their kids!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Broadcasting live across the world. Right now. This is the
John Jay and Rich radio program Check one two. Okay
Couples Podcast Week three. This is John Jay and Blake.
We are in the studio recording a couple's podcasts. Hello,
Bulky Vains, Bulky Vains, say your name. Let's see you've
(00:26):
been here two seconds. You've complained about the clock not
having a battery. You complained about my parking.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I complained that the mic stand thing is upside.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Down, Mike flag because you were sitting at Kyle's chair
when I come.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And I feel like I want to clean this place
up and organize it. It's crazy. You've got so much
going on here.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I know. So it's a couple's podcasts, and we're a couple.
So I was thinking, there's a bunch of people having
questions for us. What do you think is the best
thing to do? Blake Man ask comes sleep your water?
I got a terrible cot mom.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Just start asking the questions.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
But is there anything you want to you want to
talk about? You start out to talk about how you
complained about my parking. Today you talk you complained about
my parking all the time.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Because you never pull in a space and park in
the space when you have cameras to show you how.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
To park, and but would have got out of the car.
What do you think of my park job?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Once in a while it's on.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
It works today coming here, I parked and you complained
about my parking. We got out of the car, and
then what.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Because you pulled up a little bit and then it
worked out perfectly you were in the car or.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
The space questions Let's see, I'm not going to read
the names, but this person says, what makes you frustrated
with each other? Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
That they want the whole list go ahead? I think
in a real sense, like the communication is sometimes we
miscommunicate and there's frustration because I thought one thing and
you thought another thing and it really wasn't that. But
(02:09):
are they asking like what I'm frustrated with you about?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, what do you think they're asking about? What are
you frustrated with the government about? Are you frustrated about taxes? No,
we're talking about this relationship.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I mean like when you chew loud and our whole
family has to switch seats at the dining room table
because they can't take your chewing so loud, and everybody
in our family is completely aware of it. That is
that kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I guess. So what makes you frustrated with.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Each other and what frustrates you?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I think it's when you tell me how to park,
or when you freak out when I'm driving and you
throw your hands up in the air, like sometimes it
makes me want to be like, that's it. Now, we're
just going to meet somewhere. I don't want to drive
in the same car.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Well, I think sometimes, I mean, I was I witnessed
a terrible accident, and I think sometimes that comes back
to me and I hold on tight and I get
my reflexes.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Wait, you didn't witness a terrible accident. You showed up
the scene of a terrible accident like an hour later,
and you saw if that's the accident you're talking about, ye,
because you saw the end result of a terrible accident. Yes, okay,
so now you're because of that, you're frustrated. He gets
freaked out over my driving even.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Though frustrated, I just like sometimes I get panicked.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, here's another here's should we move to the next question. Sure,
ask Blake all of the things she loves most about you?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Oh, short lived, let's see, Uh I love his humor.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I love how he loves me and brings me flowers
and brings me an ice cream tea because he knows
those are the things that I love so much. Oh.
I love the way he parents are kids because he's
patient and kind and funny but still makes his point.
(04:13):
And it makes it a lot easier for me to
to parent as well, because I'm a little bit more
structured and strict. I love that he I love to
I just love hanging around him like we have so
much fun. I wouldn't want to be with anybody else.
(04:34):
He makes me laugh, he makes me cry. He he's
adventurous in some ways, and that's what I love about him. Okay,
and I love his smile when he shows his teeth
and his smile. I love that.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
What is John Jay's real age? Because I know it's
not thirty eight?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Well, on a second, how come that question doesn't go
both ways?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Doesn't the questions ask Blake all the things she loves
about you?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay, if it does, I'm not down there yet. I
haven't read anything yet.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Well, I think maybe you should profess your love for
me as well.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Hello, are you asking me to answer that question?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Ask John Jay all the things that he loves about it.
Oh what do I love about you? I love your smile,
I love your heart, I love your strength, your forgiveness,
I love your love. I love the way you take
care of me, like the way I mean generally speaking,
you seem to always think about me.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
What when do I not think about you?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Well? Probably today when you made me wait forty five
minutes for you to get your hair done.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
But you knew I was getting my hair done, so
that wasn't the secret, and I didn't It wasn't delayed.
When the hair is done, you feel prettier.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Why this one won't open? I can't read it for
some reason. Okay, do you want me to go on?
Or like? Is that good? That was good? Wasn't it your? Yeah?
I think you're beautiful. I love your body. I really
love your sex drive. Hello, I'm sure. What are your
(06:13):
respective love languages?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
You know what? That's such a good question because it's
changed over the years, Like my love language used to
be time spent and it's become more acts of service
because John Jay has and and John Jay's is more
like the touch was the touch? I still think it
(06:39):
is that, but but I also think he likes the
kind words. What was that one called words of affirmation?
But anyhow, I think like when you feed the dogs
like that makes me so happy, that when you do
chores around the house that makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Be okay, And I think love languages can change. I
don't remember what mine used to be, but now I
think it's like I enjoy spending time together, right and touch? Right? Yeah,
you think it's mine as words of affirmation.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yours used to be words of affirmation for sure.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Like, well there's different levels, there's one, right, So I
don't I don't, I think right now maybe I'm really
digging touch maybe right? Okay, So at Jersey in what's
number one for you?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I like the acts of service and time spent?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Okay, what are you guys planning on doing as empty nesters?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Oh? I can't wait. Like my big plan is to
be able to travel and to you know, do things
together and spend more time by the ocean.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
But when are we going to be empty nesters? Because
Jake comes home, I know.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
We kind of we kind of got duped this whole
thing because because that's just going to college and the
same week that's decided where he was going to go
to college. Jake decided that he was going to come
home and finish. So I was like, just kidding, we're
not empty nesting yet.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I know. I was saking about that yesterday. I was like,
you know, just this is an adult podcast. But you know,
I was in the sauna in the garage and I
was walking on to the pool and I was like,
if you're empty nest right now, like we could just
totally do it right here. It goes to in my
own head. But then you know, Duch was home. There's
always people at our house. Yeah, but it was fun
to think that, Yeah, when we're on vacation, what is
(08:39):
the quality you love the most about each other? Is
that similar to be answer that already?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Or yeah, okay, I think we answered that.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Do you have a favorite dog breed?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
We do. I think it's mutual. Tell me if I'm
right or wrong, But I think it's the English bulldog.
We both love English bulldogs. Yeah, and we will always
have one.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah. I was just looking at Maggie today. She's just
the most beautiful dog. She's such a little bug. What
are your tips for a long successful marriage?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I would say you have to communicate. You have to
have date night, you have to do things just with
the two of you.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
You have to.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Communication is a big thing because when we've fallen short
in our marriage, it's about communication.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, And I also think it's compromised too. I think
you've got to compromise on stuff. You know, Like there's
things that I don't necessarily want to do, but we
I'll go.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Do, right, Like backgammon. I make you play backgammon every weekend.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
That's an example. Yeah, I could easily go without playing back,
but I think you like.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It now when you win, so that compromise.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Has been now. I mean there's things that you just like,
like yesterday you wanted to walk to the henry and
get some get a drink.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Right ied to download our day.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I compromised like I would have been. I could have said,
let's just sit right here on the couch and do it,
like let's say you have to compromise or what else.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Like, But isn't it nice to go and have and
be able to just sit and talk and not have
dogs and kids and phones. We both left our phones
and we could just sit and download and see what
the day brought.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
And yes, that is nice. And then I look back
at it. It's a compromise. At the time, I'm just like,
I just I mean, I'm tired, I don't want to go,
but you want to go. So I'm like, okay, I'll
go for a walk with you. You know, Like yesterday
I was trying to get my steps and I think
I was pretty much at my steps, and you want
to go walk, and I'm like, already have my steps
in my mind. I already have my steps. I don't
want to walk, but she wants to connect and want
(10:37):
to talk, and I'm glad I did. But it's a compromise.
You have to not and that's maybe that's a bad
a small it's a small example. There are much bigger
examples of compromise. Like Easter. Easter, we're going out of
your family again, right.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, right, I know, why is that a compromise.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
That's a compromise. I like to stay home and not
do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
It's Easter Sunday, Like it's totally normal to go to
brunch and with your family.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Okay, Okay, maybe that was a bad example. There were
things that I do that I compromise. I know that
there are I just can't.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Keep you good exampt They just can't think of them
right now.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
What advice would you give to a couple that is
struggling to conceive? And then she says, love you guys,
love you too, And I got that a lot in
the last couple of days. We started talking, like so
many people message me that a different form of that question.
So what advice do you give couples that are struggling
to conceive?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I think being patient and loving each other through it
is so important because we've been there. We have done
all kinds of infertility. We have had a loss. We
lost twin girls, Kemper and Gracie, and that was devastating
twenty five years ago, but we still kept with it
(11:50):
because we wanted to have kids. So I think if
you have a common goal of raison of having a family,
that you have to be patient and love each other
through all the up and downs of it.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
That's good. You know, there's this comedian that dropt a
special on Netflix a couple weeks ago. His name's Andrew Schultz,
and I don't know the name of the special, but
just a couple weeks so it's on Netflix Andrew Schultz,
and he gives a very realistic, comical point of view
of what it's like for the guy to go through infertility,
(12:24):
but also as a couple, and also you know, I
would say, I would say, don't get mad at it.
Stupid and sensitive people that say just relax, you'll get pregnant.
To take your time, you know, those people that say
that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Oh yeah, or go out one night and get dragged, okay.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
And you'll get pregnant. Yeah. You as. The more I've
learned about trying to have a baby, excuse me, is
the more I learned how freaking a miracle, what a
miracle it is to have a baby that gets so
the chances of having a baby are just unbelievably hard.
I know, if you're listening to this, you're like, what
do you mean? We did it one night? I know,
but more and more people I meet are struggling to
(12:57):
have a baby. Young people. They can't do it. I
don't know what's in the food nowadays, but it might
be something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
I think patience too, like if you're patient with it
and know that God has the perfect plan for you.
I mean, we have a beautiful family, and it's not
a traditional family.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I do have to I love our family. Should I
go to the next question? Do you have more than
you look? I really like your hair. You look very
headphones on? Can you hear on both ears? Or is
it that one broken?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I can hear you talk through the microphone. I think
I don't think I'm hearing it through the headphone.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Turn up the volume down here, there's a little a
little knob right here. No, no, no, no, you gotta
plung an inad Blake. You just got headfus off for
no reason. You're not even plugged in.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Hold on, well, I didn't know I was to them in.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
My god, your husband's in radio. Are you here? It
look not talk?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Okay? Oh yeah, I can hear now. How I was
supposed to know that.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I'm sitting before we started testing the microphone testing? Oh
my god? Okay, hold on, are you really good now? Bet?
How and where did you meet?
Speaker 4 (14:21):
So?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
We met through our friend Christy and we ended up
we met actually you were in her car and we met.
That's when we first laid eyes on each other. But
then we ended up working together at a radio station
in San Diego.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, that's right. I think I met you before we
work together.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And you were bringing jello shots to my house.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I was picking up jello shots.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Okay, I forgot that part.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
What's the last thing you two laughed uncontrollably about.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Together just now because I didn't have my microphone.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
No, you had your microphone pluged in. You didn't have
your headphones plugged in?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I mean my headphones.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
What's the best the best thing about marriage and the
hardest thing about marriage? Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
The best thing is like the camaraderie. You have two
people to parent, you have two people to come home
to at night. You have two people that go to
bed together. Like, that's awesome. And the hard part is
when there's rough things in life that you go through.
That's when you have to have the patience to get
(15:35):
through them.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
That's very true. I want like Kevin, like like, I
get so excited for things. I get excited to see
you when I come home. I get excited. You know,
it's cool to have somebody to share things with, you know,
like possitive things, little things, bump little things in life,
big things in life. You know what I mean. I
think that's a cool thing about marriage. How do you
(15:56):
feel hard? Oh? No, how do you feel heard? How
do you feel heard?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
How do I feel heard.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I guess, yeah, how does that? I don't know. How
do you? How do you feel heard? Does that mean?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I don't know, Like do you mean like in a conversation,
maybe until a.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Conversation and you want me to hear you, like what
you're saying. Like sometimes I say to you, you know,
I think you're hearing me, but you're not listening to me.
I think there's a difference. So is there that? Is
that what they mean?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Maybe the message back? What do you mean? Okay, I think.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure about that one.
I I know that I like to be even if
you disagree with me. I like to you to hear
my side, and I think you like me to hear
your side. So there's once in a while when we're like,
wait a minute, you're not hearing me.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
So well, Like the newest thing for me in the
last year or so is where you say something and
like you said to me before, where you know, I
don't know who you have to try to solve it. Yeah,
sometimes I just go so I'll tell you, I ask you,
do you want me to solve this right now? You
just want me to hear you? Yeah, So then you just.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Really good because I sometimes I just want to be heard.
I don't want to provide a solution. I want to
just be heard and let it out.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah. Like, as the man in a relationship, you want
to protect and you want to take away your pain,
so you want to solve things right away. I mean
even the most recent issue that just happened, like it
kind of got resolved today if you remember the one
in one issue. Yes, and I could have been quiet, right,
but I wanted to get it handled, yes, to protect
(17:33):
you right right. So I got that and it worked out. Okay,
who apologizes first?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I do always?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
No, you don't.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
That is so true. Yes, I do. It's in my nature.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
You don't apologize first.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'm like a middle child. Yes I do.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I apologize to you first. For our big five we
got into when I was in Atlanta, I apologize first.
But also I was also right, but I just decided
to apologize.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Because you wanted to get it over with.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah. I just wasn't making it wasn't coming through. So
I was like you, I was trying to get to
look at things at my point of view so I
could I tried to look at things through your point
of view, and I could see how you could see
the things that you saw and felt them the way
you felt them, And because of that, I felt I
apologized as far as the umbrella of the whole event.
I think I am right, but I also could have
(18:24):
handled it better. So I apologized to you first.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, but that's few and far between. I feel like
I apologize first a lot, because I also don't like conflict.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
How often are you two guys intimate a lot? Do
you think.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
A lot? Several times a week?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I wish several times is five? Okay? Several couple is two,
a few is three, several is five?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Okay, that's probably fair.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Five times a week you think we did four?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Lot. Where's the craziest place you've done it?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I don't know to think about that. I've wanted to
on the beach, but never agrees.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I think that's more romantic in a movie and in
real life.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
I don't know what is your answer on that one? Oh?
I do know in a church parking lot.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Oh god, yeah, that was crazy. What we didn't know
is the church parking line.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, we didn't know until after we left.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
How does your wife feel about men? Asking for feet pictures.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Okay, let's see if it's more. I don't know how
to work this thing here, hold on, okay, hold on,
hold on before I go to the next round. Oh,
I feel to text paytent. She wanted to send me questions.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, I'm doing this off
(20:00):
the Instagram. Second. Here we go, Hold on, Bill, hold on.
Boom boom boom boom boom boom. Okay, um, you answered that,
(20:21):
answered that? Is there a conversation with Blake before sharing
something on the air?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I would say fifty of the time.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Maybe you think so.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, I mean when it's something very sensitive. Yes, but
you're very much the kind of guy that does things
and apologizes later.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, unless you say something to me or I can
kind of read it.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Yeah, what I usually say ahead of time, like I
don't want.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
How do you both? How do you? How do and
I want? Both? Point of you? Blake and John Jay
engage or start off sexually? Time? Who pulls the first move?
I think usually I pull the first move? Yes, how
do you two keep from murdering each other? Being together
for so long?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
You know what? It was funny? Somebody told us one
time that we act like golden retriever act like golden
retriever puppies because we just always gravitate towards each other
and it just works. Yeah. Fun.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Also, like you have a lot of friends and you
go do stuff with your friends, and I'm fine with that, right.
I also enjoy staying time at home. I like and
I think, I think if I get there's time where
I need to be by myself. And fortunately for me
with this job, I get about an hour an hour
and a half of that every morning before I come
in here. It's just me. I can sit there, I
(21:51):
can process, I can decompress, and then later on the
afternoon I get about twenty thirty minutes alone. Like I
drive with the radio off. I just listen to my
thoughts or I pray out loud. In the afternoon, I
will drive like after the gym and come home. It's
about a fifteen twenty minute drive just in silence. And
then I do have my routines where I like to
you know, like I call you on the way to
the gym in the morning. I kind of like doing that.
(22:12):
But I like to decompress. I like to be in
the sauna. I like the hot tub. There's things I
like to do alone. I just started, like I went
on that retreat last week. That was the first time
I ever done anything like that, and I kind of
like that. You know. I have a couple of new friends,
and one of my new friends we talked about going
to Vegas for a football game or something, you know,
my friend Justin, and I was like, I could see
(22:33):
myself doing something with him, you know, like dudes doing
a guy weekend or a guy and I and I
just say that now, but when it comes down to it,
will I really do it or probably not.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
You will do it, but you'll kick and scream on
the way there like you did at the retreat last
week when you got there and you started experiencing it,
like it was so awesome.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I had a great time. It was a week ago.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
So yeah, so you'll kick and scream on the way there,
but then you'll end up having an amazing time. Don't
forget you went to Mirrorvall by yourself one time. I
like that and you and you did all that stuff
by myself.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
But I don't do anything with friends, like I have
a group of friends that go do something every year together.
Twenty of them, and I want no part of it.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Well because they're going to a Devo concert and want
you to wear the red hat, Like, come on, John.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Jay, can you talk more about your adult autism diagnosis?
Has it changed your life? I don't know they ever
told you about this. I did this test on the
air about yeah, yeah, yeah dog, so I kind of
felt like and one of the things it said was
like I wish I could remember, but it's like, do
you do you feel different than other people? I've always
felt different my entire life. I've always felt that people
(23:34):
don't see me, people don't understand me. Like sometimes I'm
just like, this makes so much sense to me, not
how can other people not see this? And when I
took this test, it was like, oh man, and I
joked about on the air that was you know, I
had adult autism, and it sure seemed like it like
I fit right in there to me in my opinion,
So sometimes I feel like when you and I are
(23:56):
just not seeing I for example, the last fight we
got into with the Atlanta Fighter, even going home from
the Sun's game fight, it just made no sense to
me how you cannot see things the way Yeah, And
that's a that's a that's an autism thing. It just
makes no sense, Like it blows my mind that you can't.
And I haven't been officially diagnosed not I have been
with ADHD, but not like that.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But you know what, though, you see I say this
all the time, you see the world differently. We will
go to an event and you will talk about it
on the air the next day, and you saw something
completely different than I did. You see the world differently
than most people, which is probably why you have so
much success.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Oh my god, thank you. Hunh Uh. Some of these
are the same. So I don't have an official adult
autism diagnosis, but I feel that I would. Some of
these are the saying like after Dutch leaves for college
next year, for you, what are your plans? I think
we got into that. What's your secret to a long
lasting marriage? I think we did that right. Blake, have
you have you taught your boys everything you do for
(24:58):
John Jay so they'll survive on their own.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's actually a good question. I two of my boys
are very independent, and the oldest and the youngest, and
the youngest could have lived in an apartment at starting
at age twelve because he just has always been independent.
The one I was worried about was the middle kid
when he went off to college, because I was like,
(25:22):
oh boy, he's a mess, How's he going to do this?
But he's turned out to be in a you know,
do adulting very well. So I think it goes back
to we've We actually were talking about this the other
day that values are caught, not taught, and that they
caught on to what I do and they have figured
it out.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Okay, how does what do you? A lot of these
are all the same. Who's on top?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Is that sex? Or is that? Is that sex?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
I don't know? Is that a career question? The answer?
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Do you say career? I say sex?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Uh A, right? And pain sent more and they seem
like they're all the same types of questions. Anything else
you're talking about, and then we need to bring up what's
your take so far in this podcast?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
That's interesting?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Do you feel comfortable sitting here in the studio like this?
Sure you think it'll be different if we do it
again on our couch or something.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
No, I feel I actually feel more comfortable than I
thought I was gonna feel, because usually, like I don't
like to be in the limelight like this. I would
much rather be picking up poop with the shelter and
selling sponsorships because that's my happy place and where I
feel good. So that it was comfortable.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I you know, you said let's take some pictures before
we started the podcast, and I think you look great
in these. Your boobs look humongous. Wo oh, here's one.
Oh you're gonna have to pick it out then, I
I don't care. But anyway, what are you talking about
the pictures? Also, look at the pictures of you me.
(27:06):
Do we need to do any part of this podcast over?
Because now you have your headphones plugged in?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Oh my god, when was the last time we really laughed?
It was recently, Like we laughed so hard and we
continue to say the next day like, oh my god,
that was so funny, but I can't remember what it was.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
It was just recently. This maybe last weekend, like, oh
my god, that is so funny.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
A couple things that we got going on. I see it.
So this podcast will drop on Sunday, so that means
you still have time to get into dog Mom's Day,
which is a special event with Blake yea is it
is it that a hundred bucks?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
It's one hundred and twenty five dollars.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And you go. You spend a couple hours with you
and Kyle and Peyton and a whole bunch of moms
and their dogs, right, and you get.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
It's a fun, really fun girly day. Like you put
a dress on and you bring your dog, and we
have a dog treat bar and lots of shopping and
music and food and and and then we have this
like amazing swag bag. This year we have skin Better
and philosophy and this cute.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Teal bag and is the dog collar thing going in
there too?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
And talk about that's a surprise.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Okay, so I don't talk about it on there tomorrow.
I think that's so freaking so cool.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
It's going to be so great, And and we have
lip stuff, and then we have a couple of We
don't really like to do a bunch of fundraising at
the event. We like it people to just come and
have a great time. But we do have a couple
of neat raffles. We have a bike, a cruiser bike
and it's just like the one that I have, remember
(28:47):
that matches yours. I just love it so much. So
we're going to have a cruiser bike and a Trader
Joe's gift basket and then a gift basket from inside
out Aesthetics that has all the skins off and stuff
in it. So it's all girly stuff and super fun day.
And we're getting close to being sold out.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
So okay, So if you want to go, do you
go to Love Pupfoundation dot org. Yes, you can buy
tickets there or go to Love Pup Foundation on Instagram
and there should be links. Also on a personal note,
long story, but we committed to Jake's apartment in Tucson
for a year. He's going to be home in May,
(29:30):
and we still have to pay for a year.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Looking for somebody.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
To sub lease Jake's apartment. He's got. It's a it's
a two bedroom, but one bedroom he's responsible for. But
it's like a it's a cool It's called the Parker
by University Arizona. So if you're a student at UVE,
or your brother or sister is a student looking for
a place to live, it's a sweet place. I would
assume if we get him in early enough, they can
answer all the questions. They picked the roommate for them right, yeah, right,
because absolutely the parker will pick a roommate for you,
(29:57):
or you can bring your roommate in. Yeah, I mean
this is it's a sweet thing and we need somebody.
So shoot me a message on Instagram if you're interested
in this apartment. It's on campus, right, yeah, it's all right.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Well it's yes, adjacent to the campus, but right there
in the middle of all the activity.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
What else is what else? When you to talk about
everything good, like, what else? You'd be totally wild. I mean,
nobody's here right now. What if you were talking about
we're crazy? Place has asked what if you had sex
right here, right now during this podcast? Are you down?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
You're not down for that. You would never be able
to handle that.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
I can't perform on this a sort amount of time,
but you would be. You're so fluid anyway, all right,
So we can leave here and get some neat yep.
I have such a long weekend, a fun weekend. Okay,
Sun's game Friday night. Oh, this looking to air Sunday.
(30:53):
So by the time there's air Sunday, the crazy weekend
will have already happened. A lot of crazy stuff happened
this weekend, so I'll be able to share Monday. I
hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you like the podcast,
you know just blak and me chilling, you know, shoot
us a DM comment review of the podcast. This is
on the afterwards podcast. Go to my instagram John Jay
van Ass and uh tell me what you like, what
(31:13):
you didn't like. We're gonna post picture on Friday. I'm sorry.
On well, I'll probably have pictures up the whole weekend
of us in the studio during his podcast. All right,
this is good? Are you happy? Okay? Hold on, let's
see where's Dutch? So think we'll call Dutch? Where do
you want me for dinner? I'm gonna calling me? Letting
be part of the podcast. That's the way this kid talks.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Us.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Where should we go to Dinner's good? Hey? Where do
you want to go to dinner?
Speaker 4 (31:46):
I mean, you guys are just.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I wouldn't want to I don't want to pick up
I want to like it's like, let's go to cava
you want to go to Kava.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
U?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
And no, you know? Or Chipotle? I don't want to
go to pet Jungle? Do you want a pea Jungle? Oh?
What about Chipotle? We just picked up Chipotle. Then oh,
hell yeah, how are you charged? Yeah? I know twy.
We ate there twice because we ran out of the
good chicken. Like I'm still craving that chicken. Pick a
(32:25):
place right now, both of you, right now, right now?
She said, chop shop, Chipotle, mean words, I could do
chop shop, but you guys there, No, we'll just.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Go to We'll just tell us your Chipotle.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Order and we'll do that, because there you go Chipotle,
she said, Chipotle. All right, So text mom what you
want for Chipotle? Okay, all right, how was the How
was your workout? It was good?
Speaker 4 (32:56):
And I'm gonna car wash mom, Piza cars clean. Don't
worry about it.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Thank god. Hey, Duchy, what's good? What's the greatest thing
about your parents' marriage? Uh?
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Probably you guys haven't gotten divorced.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Because I see people with divorced parents. I'm like, damn,
that must suck.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You don't have two rooms? Oh that would be cool though,
two Christmases? All right, never mind, bro, remember I had that,
I had that penthouse picked out. Yeah, yeah, you know,
I forget my answer.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
The best part about having Hey, what was the question?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
The best part of your daddy and I marriage.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
Probably getting to witness what true love is like. Got
you guys, You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Do you ever hear your mother and I'm making love?
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Stop it?
Speaker 1 (34:03):
God? No, I hope I never hear that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
That's terrible, traumatizing, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Son, when a man and woman love each other, gop Ita, goodbye?
All right, all right, Oh, I gotta call you a minute.
I'm gonna hang up and call you downstairs. I give you
an update on Saturday. Alright, later
Broadcasting live across the world. Right now. This is the
John Jay and Rich radio program Check one two. Okay
Couples Podcast Week three. This is John Jay and Blake.
We are in the studio recording a couple's podcasts. Hello,
Bulky Vains, Bulky Vains, say your name. Let's see you've
(00:26):
been here two seconds. You've complained about the clock not
having a battery. You complained about my parking.
Speaker 2 (00:33):
I complained that the mic stand thing is upside.
Speaker 1 (00:35):
Down, Mike flag because you were sitting at Kyle's chair
when I come.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
And I feel like I want to clean this place
up and organize it. It's crazy. You've got so much
going on here.
Speaker 1 (00:50):
I know. So it's a couple's podcasts, and we're a couple.
So I was thinking, there's a bunch of people having
questions for us. What do you think is the best
thing to do? Blake Man ask comes sleep your water?
I got a terrible cot mom.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Just start asking the questions.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
But is there anything you want to you want to
talk about? You start out to talk about how you
complained about my parking. Today you talk you complained about
my parking all the time.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
Because you never pull in a space and park in
the space when you have cameras to show you how.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
To park, and but would have got out of the car.
What do you think of my park job?
Speaker 2 (01:21):
Once in a while it's on.
Speaker 1 (01:25):
It works today coming here, I parked and you complained
about my parking. We got out of the car, and
then what.
Speaker 2 (01:32):
Because you pulled up a little bit and then it
worked out perfectly you were in the car or.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
The space questions Let's see, I'm not going to read
the names, but this person says, what makes you frustrated
with each other? Oh?
Speaker 2 (01:49):
That they want the whole list go ahead? I think
in a real sense, like the communication is sometimes we
miscommunicate and there's frustration because I thought one thing and
you thought another thing and it really wasn't that. But
(02:09):
are they asking like what I'm frustrated with you about?
Speaker 1 (02:14):
Yeah, what do you think they're asking about? What are
you frustrated with the government about? Are you frustrated about taxes? No,
we're talking about this relationship.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
I mean like when you chew loud and our whole
family has to switch seats at the dining room table
because they can't take your chewing so loud, and everybody
in our family is completely aware of it. That is
that kind of thing.
Speaker 1 (02:39):
I guess. So what makes you frustrated with.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
Each other and what frustrates you?
Speaker 1 (02:44):
I think it's when you tell me how to park,
or when you freak out when I'm driving and you
throw your hands up in the air, like sometimes it
makes me want to be like, that's it. Now, we're
just going to meet somewhere. I don't want to drive
in the same car.
Speaker 2 (02:53):
Well, I think sometimes, I mean, I was I witnessed
a terrible accident, and I think sometimes that comes back
to me and I hold on tight and I get
my reflexes.
Speaker 1 (03:04):
Wait, you didn't witness a terrible accident. You showed up
the scene of a terrible accident like an hour later,
and you saw if that's the accident you're talking about, ye,
because you saw the end result of a terrible accident. Yes, okay,
so now you're because of that, you're frustrated. He gets
freaked out over my driving even.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Though frustrated, I just like sometimes I get panicked.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
Okay, here's another here's should we move to the next question. Sure,
ask Blake all of the things she loves most about you?
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Oh, short lived, let's see, Uh I love his humor.
Speaker 2 (03:48):
I love how he loves me and brings me flowers
and brings me an ice cream tea because he knows
those are the things that I love so much. Oh.
I love the way he parents are kids because he's
patient and kind and funny but still makes his point.
(04:13):
And it makes it a lot easier for me to
to parent as well, because I'm a little bit more
structured and strict. I love that he I love to
I just love hanging around him like we have so
much fun. I wouldn't want to be with anybody else.
(04:34):
He makes me laugh, he makes me cry. He he's
adventurous in some ways, and that's what I love about him. Okay,
and I love his smile when he shows his teeth
and his smile. I love that.
Speaker 1 (04:52):
What is John Jay's real age? Because I know it's
not thirty eight?
Speaker 2 (04:55):
Well, on a second, how come that question doesn't go
both ways?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Doesn't the questions ask Blake all the things she loves
about you?
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Oh?
Speaker 1 (05:03):
Okay, if it does, I'm not down there yet. I
haven't read anything yet.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
Well, I think maybe you should profess your love for
me as well.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Hello, are you asking me to answer that question?
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yes?
Speaker 1 (05:16):
Ask John Jay all the things that he loves about it.
Oh what do I love about you? I love your smile,
I love your heart, I love your strength, your forgiveness,
I love your love. I love the way you take
care of me, like the way I mean generally speaking,
you seem to always think about me.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
What when do I not think about you?
Speaker 1 (05:39):
Well? Probably today when you made me wait forty five
minutes for you to get your hair done.
Speaker 2 (05:43):
But you knew I was getting my hair done, so
that wasn't the secret, and I didn't It wasn't delayed.
When the hair is done, you feel prettier.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Why this one won't open? I can't read it for
some reason. Okay, do you want me to go on?
Or like? Is that good? That was good? Wasn't it your? Yeah?
I think you're beautiful. I love your body. I really
love your sex drive. Hello, I'm sure. What are your
(06:13):
respective love languages?
Speaker 2 (06:16):
You know what? That's such a good question because it's
changed over the years, Like my love language used to
be time spent and it's become more acts of service
because John Jay has and and John Jay's is more
like the touch was the touch? I still think it
(06:39):
is that, but but I also think he likes the
kind words. What was that one called words of affirmation?
But anyhow, I think like when you feed the dogs
like that makes me so happy, that when you do
chores around the house that makes me happy.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Be okay, And I think love languages can change. I
don't remember what mine used to be, but now I
think it's like I enjoy spending time together, right and touch? Right? Yeah,
you think it's mine as words of affirmation.
Speaker 2 (07:15):
Yours used to be words of affirmation for sure.
Speaker 1 (07:19):
Like, well there's different levels, there's one, right, So I
don't I don't, I think right now maybe I'm really
digging touch maybe right? Okay, So at Jersey in what's
number one for you?
Speaker 2 (07:32):
I like the acts of service and time spent?
Speaker 1 (07:36):
Okay, what are you guys planning on doing as empty nesters?
Speaker 2 (07:42):
Oh? I can't wait. Like my big plan is to
be able to travel and to you know, do things
together and spend more time by the ocean.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
But when are we going to be empty nesters? Because
Jake comes home, I know.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
We kind of we kind of got duped this whole
thing because because that's just going to college and the
same week that's decided where he was going to go
to college. Jake decided that he was going to come
home and finish. So I was like, just kidding, we're
not empty nesting yet.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I know. I was saking about that yesterday. I was like,
you know, just this is an adult podcast. But you know,
I was in the sauna in the garage and I
was walking on to the pool and I was like,
if you're empty nest right now, like we could just
totally do it right here. It goes to in my
own head. But then you know, Duch was home. There's
always people at our house. Yeah, but it was fun
to think that, Yeah, when we're on vacation, what is
(08:39):
the quality you love the most about each other? Is
that similar to be answer that already?
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Or yeah, okay, I think we answered that.
Speaker 1 (08:45):
Do you have a favorite dog breed?
Speaker 3 (08:47):
Yes?
Speaker 2 (08:48):
We do. I think it's mutual. Tell me if I'm
right or wrong, But I think it's the English bulldog.
We both love English bulldogs. Yeah, and we will always
have one.
Speaker 1 (08:56):
Yeah. I was just looking at Maggie today. She's just
the most beautiful dog. She's such a little bug. What
are your tips for a long successful marriage?
Speaker 2 (09:07):
I would say you have to communicate. You have to
have date night, you have to do things just with
the two of you.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
You have to.
Speaker 2 (09:20):
Communication is a big thing because when we've fallen short
in our marriage, it's about communication.
Speaker 1 (09:27):
Yeah, And I also think it's compromised too. I think
you've got to compromise on stuff. You know, Like there's
things that I don't necessarily want to do, but we
I'll go.
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Do, right, Like backgammon. I make you play backgammon every weekend.
Speaker 1 (09:40):
That's an example. Yeah, I could easily go without playing back,
but I think you like.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
It now when you win, so that compromise.
Speaker 1 (09:48):
Has been now. I mean there's things that you just like,
like yesterday you wanted to walk to the henry and
get some get a drink.
Speaker 2 (09:56):
Right ied to download our day.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
I compromised like I would have been. I could have said,
let's just sit right here on the couch and do it,
like let's say you have to compromise or what else.
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Like, But isn't it nice to go and have and
be able to just sit and talk and not have
dogs and kids and phones. We both left our phones
and we could just sit and download and see what
the day brought.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
And yes, that is nice. And then I look back
at it. It's a compromise. At the time, I'm just like,
I just I mean, I'm tired, I don't want to go,
but you want to go. So I'm like, okay, I'll
go for a walk with you. You know, Like yesterday
I was trying to get my steps and I think
I was pretty much at my steps, and you want
to go walk, and I'm like, already have my steps
in my mind. I already have my steps. I don't
want to walk, but she wants to connect and want
(10:37):
to talk, and I'm glad I did. But it's a compromise.
You have to not and that's maybe that's a bad
a small it's a small example. There are much bigger
examples of compromise. Like Easter. Easter, we're going out of
your family again, right.
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Yeah, right, I know, why is that a compromise.
Speaker 1 (10:54):
That's a compromise. I like to stay home and not
do anything.
Speaker 2 (10:56):
It's Easter Sunday, Like it's totally normal to go to
brunch and with your family.
Speaker 1 (11:01):
Okay, Okay, maybe that was a bad example. There were
things that I do that I compromise. I know that
there are I just can't.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
Keep you good exampt They just can't think of them
right now.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
What advice would you give to a couple that is
struggling to conceive? And then she says, love you guys,
love you too, And I got that a lot in
the last couple of days. We started talking, like so
many people message me that a different form of that question.
So what advice do you give couples that are struggling
to conceive?
Speaker 2 (11:29):
I think being patient and loving each other through it
is so important because we've been there. We have done
all kinds of infertility. We have had a loss. We
lost twin girls, Kemper and Gracie, and that was devastating
twenty five years ago, but we still kept with it
(11:50):
because we wanted to have kids. So I think if
you have a common goal of raison of having a family,
that you have to be patient and love each other
through all the up and downs of it.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
That's good. You know, there's this comedian that dropt a
special on Netflix a couple weeks ago. His name's Andrew Schultz,
and I don't know the name of the special, but
just a couple weeks so it's on Netflix Andrew Schultz,
and he gives a very realistic, comical point of view
of what it's like for the guy to go through infertility,
(12:24):
but also as a couple, and also you know, I
would say, I would say, don't get mad at it.
Stupid and sensitive people that say just relax, you'll get pregnant.
To take your time, you know, those people that say
that kind of thing.
Speaker 2 (12:34):
Oh yeah, or go out one night and get dragged, okay.
Speaker 1 (12:36):
And you'll get pregnant. Yeah. You as. The more I've
learned about trying to have a baby, excuse me, is
the more I learned how freaking a miracle, what a
miracle it is to have a baby that gets so
the chances of having a baby are just unbelievably hard.
I know, if you're listening to this, you're like, what
do you mean? We did it one night? I know,
but more and more people I meet are struggling to
(12:57):
have a baby. Young people. They can't do it. I
don't know what's in the food nowadays, but it might
be something like that.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
I think patience too, like if you're patient with it
and know that God has the perfect plan for you.
I mean, we have a beautiful family, and it's not
a traditional family.
Speaker 1 (13:13):
I do have to I love our family. Should I
go to the next question? Do you have more than
you look? I really like your hair. You look very
headphones on? Can you hear on both ears? Or is
it that one broken?
Speaker 2 (13:24):
I can hear you talk through the microphone. I think
I don't think I'm hearing it through the headphone.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
Turn up the volume down here, there's a little a
little knob right here. No, no, no, no, you gotta
plung an inad Blake. You just got headfus off for
no reason. You're not even plugged in.
Speaker 2 (13:39):
Hold on, well, I didn't know I was to them in.
Speaker 1 (13:43):
My god, your husband's in radio. Are you here? It
look not talk?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Okay? Oh yeah, I can hear now. How I was
supposed to know that.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
I'm sitting before we started testing the microphone testing? Oh
my god? Okay, hold on, are you really good now? Bet?
How and where did you meet?
Speaker 4 (14:21):
So?
Speaker 2 (14:22):
We met through our friend Christy and we ended up
we met actually you were in her car and we met.
That's when we first laid eyes on each other. But
then we ended up working together at a radio station
in San Diego.
Speaker 1 (14:41):
Yeah, that's right. I think I met you before we
work together.
Speaker 2 (14:45):
And you were bringing jello shots to my house.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
I was picking up jello shots.
Speaker 2 (14:51):
Okay, I forgot that part.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
What's the last thing you two laughed uncontrollably about.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Together just now because I didn't have my microphone.
Speaker 1 (15:00):
No, you had your microphone pluged in. You didn't have
your headphones plugged in?
Speaker 2 (15:03):
I mean my headphones.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
What's the best the best thing about marriage and the
hardest thing about marriage? Oh?
Speaker 2 (15:14):
The best thing is like the camaraderie. You have two
people to parent, you have two people to come home
to at night. You have two people that go to
bed together. Like, that's awesome. And the hard part is
when there's rough things in life that you go through.
That's when you have to have the patience to get
(15:35):
through them.
Speaker 1 (15:36):
That's very true. I want like Kevin, like like, I
get so excited for things. I get excited to see
you when I come home. I get excited. You know,
it's cool to have somebody to share things with, you know,
like possitive things, little things, bump little things in life,
big things in life. You know what I mean. I
think that's a cool thing about marriage. How do you
(15:56):
feel hard? Oh? No, how do you feel heard? How
do you feel heard?
Speaker 2 (16:01):
How do I feel heard.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
I guess, yeah, how does that? I don't know. How
do you? How do you feel heard? Does that mean?
Speaker 2 (16:10):
I don't know, Like do you mean like in a conversation,
maybe until a.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Conversation and you want me to hear you, like what
you're saying. Like sometimes I say to you, you know,
I think you're hearing me, but you're not listening to me.
I think there's a difference. So is there that? Is
that what they mean?
Speaker 2 (16:26):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (16:26):
Maybe the message back? What do you mean? Okay, I think.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
Yeah, I don't know. I'm not sure about that one.
I I know that I like to be even if
you disagree with me. I like to you to hear
my side, and I think you like me to hear
your side. So there's once in a while when we're like,
wait a minute, you're not hearing me.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
So well, Like the newest thing for me in the
last year or so is where you say something and
like you said to me before, where you know, I
don't know who you have to try to solve it. Yeah,
sometimes I just go so I'll tell you, I ask you,
do you want me to solve this right now? You
just want me to hear you? Yeah, So then you just.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Really good because I sometimes I just want to be heard.
I don't want to provide a solution. I want to
just be heard and let it out.
Speaker 1 (17:12):
Yeah. Like, as the man in a relationship, you want
to protect and you want to take away your pain,
so you want to solve things right away. I mean
even the most recent issue that just happened, like it
kind of got resolved today if you remember the one
in one issue. Yes, and I could have been quiet, right,
but I wanted to get it handled, yes, to protect
(17:33):
you right right. So I got that and it worked out. Okay,
who apologizes first?
Speaker 2 (17:38):
I do always?
Speaker 1 (17:40):
No, you don't.
Speaker 2 (17:40):
That is so true. Yes, I do. It's in my nature.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
You don't apologize first.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
I'm like a middle child. Yes I do.
Speaker 1 (17:50):
I apologize to you first. For our big five we
got into when I was in Atlanta, I apologize first.
But also I was also right, but I just decided
to apologize.
Speaker 2 (18:00):
Because you wanted to get it over with.
Speaker 1 (18:01):
Yeah. I just wasn't making it wasn't coming through. So
I was like you, I was trying to get to
look at things at my point of view so I
could I tried to look at things through your point
of view, and I could see how you could see
the things that you saw and felt them the way
you felt them, And because of that, I felt I
apologized as far as the umbrella of the whole event.
I think I am right, but I also could have
(18:24):
handled it better. So I apologized to you first.
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah, but that's few and far between. I feel like
I apologize first a lot, because I also don't like conflict.
Speaker 1 (18:34):
How often are you two guys intimate a lot? Do
you think.
Speaker 2 (18:44):
A lot? Several times a week?
Speaker 1 (18:47):
I wish several times is five? Okay? Several couple is two,
a few is three, several is five?
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Okay, that's probably fair.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
Five times a week you think we did four?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
Lot. Where's the craziest place you've done it?
Speaker 2 (19:09):
I don't know to think about that. I've wanted to
on the beach, but never agrees.
Speaker 1 (19:18):
I think that's more romantic in a movie and in
real life.
Speaker 2 (19:21):
I don't know what is your answer on that one? Oh?
I do know in a church parking lot.
Speaker 1 (19:29):
Oh god, yeah, that was crazy. What we didn't know
is the church parking line.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Yeah, we didn't know until after we left.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
How does your wife feel about men? Asking for feet pictures.
Speaker 2 (19:38):
Oh, I don't care.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
Okay, let's see if it's more. I don't know how
to work this thing here, hold on, okay, hold on,
hold on before I go to the next round. Oh,
I feel to text paytent. She wanted to send me questions.
Hold on, hold on, hold on, I'm doing this off
(20:00):
the Instagram. Second. Here we go, Hold on, Bill, hold on.
Boom boom boom boom boom boom. Okay, um, you answered that,
(20:21):
answered that? Is there a conversation with Blake before sharing
something on the air?
Speaker 2 (20:29):
I would say fifty of the time.
Speaker 1 (20:33):
Maybe you think so.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, I mean when it's something very sensitive. Yes, but
you're very much the kind of guy that does things
and apologizes later.
Speaker 1 (20:46):
Yeah, unless you say something to me or I can
kind of read it.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
Yeah, what I usually say ahead of time, like I
don't want.
Speaker 1 (20:56):
How do you both? How do you? How do and
I want? Both? Point of you? Blake and John Jay
engage or start off sexually? Time? Who pulls the first move?
I think usually I pull the first move? Yes, how
do you two keep from murdering each other? Being together
for so long?
Speaker 2 (21:17):
You know what? It was funny? Somebody told us one
time that we act like golden retriever act like golden
retriever puppies because we just always gravitate towards each other
and it just works. Yeah. Fun.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Also, like you have a lot of friends and you
go do stuff with your friends, and I'm fine with that, right.
I also enjoy staying time at home. I like and
I think, I think if I get there's time where
I need to be by myself. And fortunately for me
with this job, I get about an hour an hour
and a half of that every morning before I come
in here. It's just me. I can sit there, I
(21:51):
can process, I can decompress, and then later on the
afternoon I get about twenty thirty minutes alone. Like I
drive with the radio off. I just listen to my
thoughts or I pray out loud. In the afternoon, I
will drive like after the gym and come home. It's
about a fifteen twenty minute drive just in silence. And
then I do have my routines where I like to
you know, like I call you on the way to
the gym in the morning. I kind of like doing that.
(22:12):
But I like to decompress. I like to be in
the sauna. I like the hot tub. There's things I
like to do alone. I just started, like I went
on that retreat last week. That was the first time
I ever done anything like that, and I kind of
like that. You know. I have a couple of new friends,
and one of my new friends we talked about going
to Vegas for a football game or something, you know,
my friend Justin, and I was like, I could see
(22:33):
myself doing something with him, you know, like dudes doing
a guy weekend or a guy and I and I
just say that now, but when it comes down to it,
will I really do it or probably not.
Speaker 2 (22:41):
You will do it, but you'll kick and scream on
the way there like you did at the retreat last
week when you got there and you started experiencing it,
like it was so awesome.
Speaker 1 (22:51):
I had a great time. It was a week ago.
Speaker 2 (22:52):
So yeah, so you'll kick and scream on the way there,
but then you'll end up having an amazing time. Don't
forget you went to Mirrorvall by yourself one time. I
like that and you and you did all that stuff
by myself.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
But I don't do anything with friends, like I have
a group of friends that go do something every year together.
Twenty of them, and I want no part of it.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Well because they're going to a Devo concert and want
you to wear the red hat, Like, come on, John.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
Jay, can you talk more about your adult autism diagnosis?
Has it changed your life? I don't know they ever
told you about this. I did this test on the
air about yeah, yeah, yeah dog, so I kind of
felt like and one of the things it said was
like I wish I could remember, but it's like, do
you do you feel different than other people? I've always
felt different my entire life. I've always felt that people
(23:34):
don't see me, people don't understand me. Like sometimes I'm
just like, this makes so much sense to me, not
how can other people not see this? And when I
took this test, it was like, oh man, and I
joked about on the air that was you know, I
had adult autism, and it sure seemed like it like
I fit right in there to me in my opinion,
So sometimes I feel like when you and I are
(23:56):
just not seeing I for example, the last fight we
got into with the Atlanta Fighter, even going home from
the Sun's game fight, it just made no sense to
me how you cannot see things the way Yeah, And
that's a that's a that's an autism thing. It just
makes no sense, Like it blows my mind that you can't.
And I haven't been officially diagnosed not I have been
with ADHD, but not like that.
Speaker 2 (24:15):
But you know what, though, you see I say this
all the time, you see the world differently. We will
go to an event and you will talk about it
on the air the next day, and you saw something
completely different than I did. You see the world differently
than most people, which is probably why you have so
much success.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Oh my god, thank you. Hunh Uh. Some of these
are the same. So I don't have an official adult
autism diagnosis, but I feel that I would. Some of
these are the saying like after Dutch leaves for college
next year, for you, what are your plans? I think
we got into that. What's your secret to a long
lasting marriage? I think we did that right. Blake, have
you have you taught your boys everything you do for
(24:58):
John Jay so they'll survive on their own.
Speaker 2 (25:01):
That's actually a good question. I two of my boys
are very independent, and the oldest and the youngest, and
the youngest could have lived in an apartment at starting
at age twelve because he just has always been independent.
The one I was worried about was the middle kid
when he went off to college, because I was like,
(25:22):
oh boy, he's a mess, How's he going to do this?
But he's turned out to be in a you know,
do adulting very well. So I think it goes back
to we've We actually were talking about this the other
day that values are caught, not taught, and that they
caught on to what I do and they have figured
it out.
Speaker 1 (25:44):
Okay, how does what do you? A lot of these
are all the same. Who's on top?
Speaker 4 (25:51):
What do you?
Speaker 2 (25:52):
What does that mean?
Speaker 1 (25:52):
Is that sex? Or is that? Is that sex?
Speaker 2 (25:56):
I don't know? Is that a career question? The answer?
Speaker 1 (26:01):
Do you say career? I say sex?
Speaker 2 (26:02):
Of course?
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Uh A, right? And pain sent more and they seem
like they're all the same types of questions. Anything else
you're talking about, and then we need to bring up what's
your take so far in this podcast?
Speaker 2 (26:18):
That's interesting?
Speaker 1 (26:20):
Do you feel comfortable sitting here in the studio like this?
Sure you think it'll be different if we do it
again on our couch or something.
Speaker 2 (26:27):
No, I feel I actually feel more comfortable than I
thought I was gonna feel, because usually, like I don't
like to be in the limelight like this. I would
much rather be picking up poop with the shelter and
selling sponsorships because that's my happy place and where I
feel good. So that it was comfortable.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
I you know, you said let's take some pictures before
we started the podcast, and I think you look great
in these. Your boobs look humongous. Wo oh, here's one.
Oh you're gonna have to pick it out then, I
I don't care. But anyway, what are you talking about
the pictures? Also, look at the pictures of you me.
(27:06):
Do we need to do any part of this podcast over?
Because now you have your headphones plugged in?
Speaker 2 (27:10):
Oh my god, when was the last time we really laughed?
It was recently, Like we laughed so hard and we
continue to say the next day like, oh my god,
that was so funny, but I can't remember what it was.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
I don't remember.
Speaker 2 (27:25):
It was just recently. This maybe last weekend, like, oh
my god, that is so funny.
Speaker 1 (27:32):
A couple things that we got going on. I see it.
So this podcast will drop on Sunday, so that means
you still have time to get into dog Mom's Day,
which is a special event with Blake yea is it
is it that a hundred bucks?
Speaker 2 (27:46):
It's one hundred and twenty five dollars.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
And you go. You spend a couple hours with you
and Kyle and Peyton and a whole bunch of moms
and their dogs, right, and you get.
Speaker 2 (27:55):
It's a fun, really fun girly day. Like you put
a dress on and you bring your dog, and we
have a dog treat bar and lots of shopping and
music and food and and and then we have this
like amazing swag bag. This year we have skin Better
and philosophy and this cute.
Speaker 1 (28:15):
Teal bag and is the dog collar thing going in
there too?
Speaker 2 (28:20):
And talk about that's a surprise.
Speaker 1 (28:22):
Okay, so I don't talk about it on there tomorrow.
I think that's so freaking so cool.
Speaker 2 (28:27):
It's going to be so great, And and we have
lip stuff, and then we have a couple of We
don't really like to do a bunch of fundraising at
the event. We like it people to just come and
have a great time. But we do have a couple
of neat raffles. We have a bike, a cruiser bike
and it's just like the one that I have, remember
(28:47):
that matches yours. I just love it so much. So
we're going to have a cruiser bike and a Trader
Joe's gift basket and then a gift basket from inside
out Aesthetics that has all the skins off and stuff
in it. So it's all girly stuff and super fun day.
And we're getting close to being sold out.
Speaker 1 (29:09):
So okay, So if you want to go, do you
go to Love Pupfoundation dot org. Yes, you can buy
tickets there or go to Love Pup Foundation on Instagram
and there should be links. Also on a personal note,
long story, but we committed to Jake's apartment in Tucson
for a year. He's going to be home in May,
(29:30):
and we still have to pay for a year.
Speaker 2 (29:34):
Looking for somebody.
Speaker 1 (29:35):
To sub lease Jake's apartment. He's got. It's a it's
a two bedroom, but one bedroom he's responsible for. But
it's like a it's a cool It's called the Parker
by University Arizona. So if you're a student at UVE,
or your brother or sister is a student looking for
a place to live, it's a sweet place. I would
assume if we get him in early enough, they can
answer all the questions. They picked the roommate for them right, yeah, right,
because absolutely the parker will pick a roommate for you,
(29:57):
or you can bring your roommate in. Yeah, I mean
this is it's a sweet thing and we need somebody.
So shoot me a message on Instagram if you're interested
in this apartment. It's on campus, right, yeah, it's all right.
Speaker 2 (30:07):
Well it's yes, adjacent to the campus, but right there
in the middle of all the activity.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
What else is what else? When you to talk about
everything good, like, what else? You'd be totally wild. I mean,
nobody's here right now. What if you were talking about
we're crazy? Place has asked what if you had sex
right here, right now during this podcast? Are you down?
Speaker 2 (30:27):
You're not down for that. You would never be able
to handle that.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
I can't perform on this a sort amount of time,
but you would be. You're so fluid anyway, all right,
So we can leave here and get some neat yep.
I have such a long weekend, a fun weekend. Okay,
Sun's game Friday night. Oh, this looking to air Sunday.
(30:53):
So by the time there's air Sunday, the crazy weekend
will have already happened. A lot of crazy stuff happened
this weekend, so I'll be able to share Monday. I
hope you enjoyed this podcast. If you like the podcast,
you know just blak and me chilling, you know, shoot
us a DM comment review of the podcast. This is
on the afterwards podcast. Go to my instagram John Jay
van Ass and uh tell me what you like, what
(31:13):
you didn't like. We're gonna post picture on Friday. I'm sorry.
On well, I'll probably have pictures up the whole weekend
of us in the studio during his podcast. All right,
this is good? Are you happy? Okay? Hold on, let's
see where's Dutch? So think we'll call Dutch? Where do
you want me for dinner? I'm gonna calling me? Letting
be part of the podcast. That's the way this kid talks.
Speaker 2 (31:37):
Us.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
Where should we go to Dinner's good? Hey? Where do
you want to go to dinner?
Speaker 4 (31:46):
I mean, you guys are just.
Speaker 1 (31:49):
I wouldn't want to I don't want to pick up
I want to like it's like, let's go to cava
you want to go to Kava.
Speaker 2 (32:00):
U?
Speaker 1 (32:00):
And no, you know? Or Chipotle? I don't want to
go to pet Jungle? Do you want a pea Jungle? Oh?
What about Chipotle? We just picked up Chipotle. Then oh,
hell yeah, how are you charged? Yeah? I know twy.
We ate there twice because we ran out of the
good chicken. Like I'm still craving that chicken. Pick a
(32:25):
place right now, both of you, right now, right now?
She said, chop shop, Chipotle, mean words, I could do
chop shop, but you guys there, No, we'll just.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
Go to We'll just tell us your Chipotle.
Speaker 1 (32:44):
Order and we'll do that, because there you go Chipotle,
she said, Chipotle. All right, So text mom what you
want for Chipotle? Okay, all right, how was the How
was your workout? It was good?
Speaker 4 (32:56):
And I'm gonna car wash mom, Piza cars clean. Don't
worry about it.
Speaker 2 (33:00):
Thank god. Hey, Duchy, what's good? What's the greatest thing
about your parents' marriage? Uh?
Speaker 4 (33:12):
Probably you guys haven't gotten divorced.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Why do you say that?
Speaker 4 (33:18):
Because I see people with divorced parents. I'm like, damn,
that must suck.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
You don't have two rooms? Oh that would be cool though,
two Christmases? All right, never mind, bro, remember I had that,
I had that penthouse picked out. Yeah, yeah, you know,
I forget my answer.
Speaker 4 (33:36):
The best part about having Hey, what was the question?
Speaker 2 (33:40):
The best part of your daddy and I marriage.
Speaker 4 (33:50):
Probably getting to witness what true love is like. Got
you guys, You're welcome.
Speaker 1 (33:57):
Do you ever hear your mother and I'm making love?
Speaker 2 (34:00):
Stop it?
Speaker 1 (34:03):
God? No, I hope I never hear that.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
That's terrible, traumatizing, you know.
Speaker 1 (34:12):
Son, when a man and woman love each other, gop Ita, goodbye?
All right, all right, Oh, I gotta call you a minute.
I'm gonna hang up and call you downstairs. I give you
an update on Saturday. Alright, later
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!