December 17, 2025 • 15 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:07):
I got a DM on my Instagram this morning an
hour ago, says, good morning, John Jay. I was wondering
if maybe you could ask your listeners on the radio
for some advice.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Please don't say my name.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
My wife asked for a separation, not divorce as of yet.
My wife asked for a separation back in October, and
when she left, she left the kids and me. All
she's been doing is going out and having girls' nights,
and yet barely sees the kids. Now, my question is,
with Christmas coming around the corner, should I still have
the obligation to get her a present? Yes, I still
(00:44):
love her and I'm giving her the space she asked
for before we decide to divorce or work it out.
But the going out all the time tells me something else.
What should I do? And I said, hey, I'll bring
it up. You want to come on the air with us?
And he goes, I've been in such a dark space
since she left. I feel lost, confused. So that eight
seven seven nine seven, Alicia, you have advice for him?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, I think I think it depends on if she's
going to be spending Christmas with him and the kids.
I think you know, setting that example for the kids.
When you care for somebody or you love somebody, this
is how you treat them, and you know, getting her something.
It doesn't have to be extravagant, but a little something
to show that I care about you, because right now
(01:31):
that's kind of what is his role is setting that
example for the kids and so you know, just to
kind of make it easier on them and and showing
them that this is how you treat somebody that you
care about. I think that's probably the most important thing.
And she's going to be separate for Christmas. I say,
don't worry about it unless you really feel like you
want to.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
But that's interesting, I said him, he hasn't responded to
your best And does she still live with you?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Guys? Because she still lives with them? Then you're there
having Christmas? How do you get Mama present?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
But if you don't want to, it's like if she's there.
You have to set that example for other kids, because
I think that's really important so that they grow up
to know how to treat you know, their significant other.
There the may they care about and they love.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thanks, Alicia, have a great day, you just thinks he Nicole,
what advice do you have for this person.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Well, first off.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
The word obligation to me is kind of problematic. So
I hate that word. So I don't want to be
obligate to do anything for anybody. I do things because
I want to do that for that person. So if
you're giving a gift, it should be because you want
the person to have the gift, not because you know.
If you're giving it because of their wants or their needs,
then that can result in obviously some many you know,
you feeling resentment like did they like it? Was it
(02:45):
good enough?
Speaker 6 (02:45):
That?
Speaker 5 (02:46):
Whatever that is about? Like, So for me, my rule
and gift giving is always is it something that I
want the person to have or is it something I
want to do for the person, rather than you know,
focusing on people's wants or needs, because then you're giving
it because of them, not because of you. That's just
my thoughts.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Man, you seem like you're a professional counselor think.
Speaker 7 (03:04):
It through, But do you want them to have something
they want or need?
Speaker 8 (03:08):
Well?
Speaker 5 (03:08):
I do, But again if that makes me feel obligated. Again,
that keyword for me is the obligation word. They if
I feel obligated to get into them because they want it,
or they need it, then am I truly giving the
gift because of what I want them to have? You
know what I mean.
Speaker 9 (03:22):
I think he's asking something a little different than your answer, though.
I think he's saying, like, Hey, she decided she wanted
to split, I'm gonna give her space, But do I
need to get her a present for Christmas? Or did
she make her decision? And my good right, I think
that's what he's asking.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Well, I think and I hear that. But at the
end of the day, if he's granting her the space
that she asked for, because she didn't just walk out
her leave, clearly they must have had some kind of
discussion or conversation about the separation and now he's looking
at her social media or whatever, her going out with
her girlfriends, and he's putting weight on that decision. Now
he's feeling obligated. If that's the case, If you don't
want to give her space, then break up. Then you
file for divorce, don't wait for her to do it.
(03:58):
At the end of the day, if you're giving her space,
love her the same as you did and if she
wants to that's my dog Jimmy in as well. If
if you want to give her a gift.
Speaker 9 (04:06):
You give her the gift that you want her.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
To have, not because of feeling obligated. That's my thought.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Thank you, Nicole. Jessica, before you give us advice, I
asked him, I said, does she still live with you?
In JUSTI in Bacio's no, she moved out the day
she asked to be separated. Okay, Jessica, what's your advice?
Speaker 10 (04:21):
Yeah, I kind of figure this out one because she
said the kids hardly see him. So my advice is
just to don't waste the money on her, but focus
on the kids because I've been through it as well,
so I very much know you have to focus on
the kids because I know I focus, but they feel
it more. So you need this because she might not
(04:44):
show up, So he has to make sure that they
have a happy Christmas regardless. She's happy, regardless what she's doing,
and they are number one in your life, so I
feel like he should focus on them.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Don't waste money on her. She shows up, she'd as
if not, my kids.
Speaker 11 (05:01):
Are going to be happy.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Curious, See I thought that she didn't that she did
live there, because he knew she was going out on
girls nights.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
All the time, maybe she's posting it or something.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Thanks Jessica, Shane. What's up here on there?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Good morning, Shane, Shane, Shane, let's go.
Speaker 12 (05:17):
Good morning, John Jay. So, in my opinion, gifts are
never an obligation. There's no rule book that says you
have to buy a gift for somebody. If you buy
him out of the kindness, out of your own heart,
if you if you're wanting to buy a gift, buy
a gift. Doesn't matter how big, doesn't matter how small.
(05:38):
But just the fact that your question in it makes
me believe that maybe you shouldn't. That's my opinion.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
All right, Thank you, Shane Kendall, good morning, you're in there.
Speaker 11 (05:49):
Hi, good morning.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
What's your advice.
Speaker 11 (05:51):
So my opinion is, I don't think he should buy
a gift for her, but depending on the kid's age,
she should let them pick something out for her because
regardless of the statum, so.
Speaker 13 (06:02):
Her kids as well.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
That's really good advice.
Speaker 11 (06:07):
Yeah, but leave the relationship.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
Out of it.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Do it for the kids.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Thank you, Latina, good morning.
Speaker 14 (06:14):
Good morning. I definitely would say that because I've been
in that position before. I did leave my kids and
my husband about ten years ago. When we separated and
I was doing the same thing, and the ones I
get hurt the most are the kids. And when we
finally got back together and we discussed it, the biggest
(06:35):
thing was being there for the kids and letting the
kids see.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
That I still did love them.
Speaker 14 (06:39):
So for him to keep his feelings out of it,
as much as you know, he might want to say, hey,
why is this happening, and work on hisself, and she
has to work on herself too, but for the kids
to still be involved and hopefully she comes over and
them pick something out for her, because that's gonna make
(07:00):
them happier, because in the end, it's the kids that
get hurt the worst.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
So you went back. Now you guys are together.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah, when you left, you left for how long?
Speaker 14 (07:11):
I left for?
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Eight years?
Speaker 9 (07:16):
Dang I almost yeah, I'm almost never heard of that
separation that lung, that's it, gets back together.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
You're a rare one.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
Yeah we stayed.
Speaker 14 (07:26):
Yeah, we stayed married. And you know, I went through
two other relationships and it was really an eye opener
and a wasted time because at the end of the day,
out of each of those two relationships, they both said
how much they hated my husband because I cared about
him and my kids the most instead of them, and
so it just, you know, it was it was a
(07:48):
struggle and it was a you know, a big life
lesson on both of our ends. But now we're stronger
than ever and whatever thing we go through, we.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
We can do it.
Speaker 14 (07:57):
You know, we know we can do it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
That's great advice. Thanks Latina. Juan, good morning. You're on
the air.
Speaker 12 (08:06):
Oh, good morning.
Speaker 11 (08:07):
What do you Yeah, So I feel like that ship
has failed for that guy.
Speaker 8 (08:12):
You know, it's probably just sending them a rough message
to the kids.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
By alling, allowing all that other and all the gift
giving and all that.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Just that bird left the next bud he it's time
to move on.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, tough words.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
That's how guys are Ye you left your out Melissa,
good morning, go ahead, you're on the air.
Speaker 15 (08:35):
Yes. So she also might take the gifts the wrong way,
like he's trying to win her back with monetary things,
and the gift doesn't have to be an item.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
He could just.
Speaker 15 (08:45):
Write or something and be vulnerable and write how the
separation has been affecting him right, Like what he's going
to do to actually change and affect the relationship in
a positive way to have her come back.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I guess it depends what the kids is like if
you got her, like, here's some tilent all because you
go out every night your girlfriends and to.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Help me to hang over.
Speaker 13 (09:08):
And do we know if he wants to get back
together with her.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
He sounds like it.
Speaker 7 (09:12):
It does kind of sound like he doesn't want it
to be over because he has hope.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Let's see what Roy says, Roy, good morning, you're on
the air. Hey, good morning morning Roy.
Speaker 8 (09:23):
That ship or so that lad if if she already
left him and the kids a bit of a guy
that did that, you guys would be saying, oh, you
guys would be on the guy. But but the girl
doing that, that's just that's just wrong. You don't leave
your family. I was looking on dad for thirteen years.
Speaker 12 (09:43):
And she left.
Speaker 8 (09:44):
She left, and I just raised them and just did
did my own. You just got to move on, all.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Right, thank you?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Roy. Me See, this is a this is a hot topic.
There's a hot button with people. It's like my time
a hot button. There's a hot button, you guys. I
gotta hit that so hard because he's a button.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
He's a break be mad. It's a button, not a whackamle. Wow,
everyone's calling about this, So okay, I was gonna move
on to.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Something else, but if you eight seven seven nine three
seven one o four seven, I'm messaging.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I'm still dming with him right now. He's at work.
I should jump on the air with us.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
He goes, I don't believe I can step away at
work for the moment, So maybe we'll have more.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Jean Rich call.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
The show at eight seven seven nine seven.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
We are in the middle of the situation with this
DM I have with the guy that wanted some advice.
His wife left him and the kids, and he's like,
do I still get her a present? And so an update?
I said, are you guys spending Christmas together with the kids?
And he's DM and me right now He's like, I'm
not sure nothing. He's been communicated to me. The kids
(10:54):
have the communication with her, and they've told me. She
hasn't said anything to them. The only thing said to
the kids was presence will be limited from her end.
Kids are seventeen and twelve. That I said, did she
seeing other guys? Does she work?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
And I can see the three little dots so he's.
Speaker 12 (11:10):
Working on a rea.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, Denise, good morning, Hi to morning.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Has everybody doing great?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Fantastic?
Speaker 16 (11:20):
My opinion on this is, never ever compromise who you are,
not ever, especially when the kids are around, because it's
about the example. You know that you're setting for the kids,
so you know, and even if he didn't get a present,
right then you know Christmas is happening, and then he's
(11:40):
still in all bad. Then now he's in his ceilings
about not kidding a gift, you know what I mean.
She's always going to be the mother no matter what.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So you think he should get a gift.
Speaker 16 (11:53):
Absolutely Yet oh okay, you can change who he is?
Not ever?
Speaker 9 (11:58):
Well yeah, they always say it's even if your kids
don't understand what you're doing, at some point they'll figure
out for themselves where you stand in the whole separation thing, right,
They'll make their own opinions. So just be a person
of integrity the whole way through.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Perfect That's exactly right.
Speaker 16 (12:17):
So get the gift and continue to be who you are.
I mean, don't you know? Still the kids are watching
you know what I mean? They will They're like recorders,
they will repeat it.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Well, thanks, Denise, thank you, Hey, Ali, before he tells
your opinion.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
He's just updated me. I go, is she seeing other
guys and does she work? He said, yeah. It hurts
me so much that I feel like I failed my
kids having the family they deserve to have.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I am not sure if she is.
Speaker 8 (12:46):
All.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I know that before I got hit with the separation,
she was back in talks with an old friend that
has been married three or four times, and each time
it's to a younger guy. So I'm sure that friend
is introducing her to his younger friends. One thing she
did tell me was I got married so young, and
then I got pregnant right after the wedding, so I
missed out on so much for my youth, which I
took as I stole her going out days. She does work.
(13:08):
I don't want to give too much because I'm afraid
she could be listening. Okay, Ali, your advice, go ahead.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
So if he's going to get her something, he should
get her something useful, like where she gets her hair
done or her nails or something, because I went through
that with the person that I was with for eight years,
so the father of my child. But it was uncomfortable
because after we separated. His gift that he got me
was a pair of keys to an apartment.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Oh nice, that sounds cool.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Oh no, it was it was an apartment for it
was an apartment for the two of us to move into,
because that's the thing that I wanted the most and
he never wanted to do that.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So what did you do?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
I kindly told him no, and I told him that
unfortunately I had made my decision because it had been
eight years and her relationship hadn't gone to go.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Good for you? All right, thank you, Ali? I got more.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
He goes, I said, hey, make sure you listen to
the podcast today. I don't know if he's listening live
or not. Say the work, And then he goes, thank you,
John Jay, Can Kyle and Peyton give me their opinions?
And I think you have right? Or have you not?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Because I was just like, listen to the freaking podcast?
Think I left?
Speaker 13 (14:20):
I think I agree with the first lady that we
talked to, where it was just like, if you are
spending Christmas with the kids, get her something small, you know,
just so it's you kind of save space, you're keeping
the peace. But if not, I don't think you need to.
Speaker 7 (14:36):
I think I like the idea of going and picking
out a gift for her with the kids. I don't
think you're obligated to get her something from you, but
I do think it would be special to have them
pick something out for her.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, all right, there you go, Kyl and Payton. Fantastic advice.
Grateful that you guys are here. So from what I'm
gathering for the last forty five minutes of the show
is for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I should get Blake Corona apartment.
Speaker 13 (15:00):
And I think I take that out of there you go,
And I don't think she would like to be.
Speaker 16 (15:05):
TV alone for you.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
Last night.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I want to watch my shows on my new TV.
They're watching the un A basketball game in there. What Gibs,
this is my TV.
Speaker 9 (15:14):
You got the whole houses, my TVs one thing nuts.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Man. I can't wait for the holidays are over. Everyone
go back to school.
I got a DM on my Instagram this morning an
hour ago, says, good morning, John Jay. I was wondering
if maybe you could ask your listeners on the radio
for some advice.
Speaker 2 (00:19):
Please don't say my name.
Speaker 1 (00:22):
My wife asked for a separation, not divorce as of yet.
My wife asked for a separation back in October, and
when she left, she left the kids and me. All
she's been doing is going out and having girls' nights,
and yet barely sees the kids. Now, my question is,
with Christmas coming around the corner, should I still have
the obligation to get her a present? Yes, I still
(00:44):
love her and I'm giving her the space she asked
for before we decide to divorce or work it out.
But the going out all the time tells me something else.
What should I do? And I said, hey, I'll bring
it up. You want to come on the air with us?
And he goes, I've been in such a dark space
since she left. I feel lost, confused. So that eight
seven seven nine seven, Alicia, you have advice for him?
Speaker 3 (01:07):
Yeah, I think I think it depends on if she's
going to be spending Christmas with him and the kids.
I think you know, setting that example for the kids.
When you care for somebody or you love somebody, this
is how you treat them, and you know, getting her something.
It doesn't have to be extravagant, but a little something
to show that I care about you, because right now
(01:31):
that's kind of what is his role is setting that
example for the kids and so you know, just to
kind of make it easier on them and and showing
them that this is how you treat somebody that you
care about. I think that's probably the most important thing.
And she's going to be separate for Christmas. I say,
don't worry about it unless you really feel like you
want to.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
But that's interesting, I said him, he hasn't responded to
your best And does she still live with you?
Speaker 2 (01:54):
Guys? Because she still lives with them? Then you're there
having Christmas? How do you get Mama present?
Speaker 3 (01:59):
But if you don't want to, it's like if she's there.
You have to set that example for other kids, because
I think that's really important so that they grow up
to know how to treat you know, their significant other.
There the may they care about and they love.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Thanks, Alicia, have a great day, you just thinks he Nicole,
what advice do you have for this person.
Speaker 4 (02:22):
Well, first off.
Speaker 5 (02:22):
The word obligation to me is kind of problematic. So
I hate that word. So I don't want to be
obligate to do anything for anybody. I do things because
I want to do that for that person. So if
you're giving a gift, it should be because you want
the person to have the gift, not because you know.
If you're giving it because of their wants or their needs,
then that can result in obviously some many you know,
you feeling resentment like did they like it? Was it
(02:45):
good enough?
Speaker 6 (02:45):
That?
Speaker 5 (02:46):
Whatever that is about? Like, So for me, my rule
and gift giving is always is it something that I
want the person to have or is it something I
want to do for the person, rather than you know,
focusing on people's wants or needs, because then you're giving
it because of them, not because of you. That's just
my thoughts.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Man, you seem like you're a professional counselor think.
Speaker 7 (03:04):
It through, But do you want them to have something
they want or need?
Speaker 8 (03:08):
Well?
Speaker 5 (03:08):
I do, But again if that makes me feel obligated. Again,
that keyword for me is the obligation word. They if
I feel obligated to get into them because they want it,
or they need it, then am I truly giving the
gift because of what I want them to have? You
know what I mean.
Speaker 9 (03:22):
I think he's asking something a little different than your answer, though.
I think he's saying, like, Hey, she decided she wanted
to split, I'm gonna give her space, But do I
need to get her a present for Christmas? Or did
she make her decision? And my good right, I think
that's what he's asking.
Speaker 5 (03:37):
Well, I think and I hear that. But at the
end of the day, if he's granting her the space
that she asked for, because she didn't just walk out
her leave, clearly they must have had some kind of
discussion or conversation about the separation and now he's looking
at her social media or whatever, her going out with
her girlfriends, and he's putting weight on that decision. Now
he's feeling obligated. If that's the case, If you don't
want to give her space, then break up. Then you
file for divorce, don't wait for her to do it.
(03:58):
At the end of the day, if you're giving her space,
love her the same as you did and if she
wants to that's my dog Jimmy in as well. If
if you want to give her a gift.
Speaker 9 (04:06):
You give her the gift that you want her.
Speaker 5 (04:08):
To have, not because of feeling obligated. That's my thought.
Speaker 1 (04:11):
Thank you, Nicole. Jessica, before you give us advice, I
asked him, I said, does she still live with you?
In JUSTI in Bacio's no, she moved out the day
she asked to be separated. Okay, Jessica, what's your advice?
Speaker 10 (04:21):
Yeah, I kind of figure this out one because she
said the kids hardly see him. So my advice is
just to don't waste the money on her, but focus
on the kids because I've been through it as well,
so I very much know you have to focus on
the kids because I know I focus, but they feel
it more. So you need this because she might not
(04:44):
show up, So he has to make sure that they
have a happy Christmas regardless. She's happy, regardless what she's doing,
and they are number one in your life, so I
feel like he should focus on them.
Speaker 5 (04:58):
Don't waste money on her. She shows up, she'd as
if not, my kids.
Speaker 11 (05:01):
Are going to be happy.
Speaker 1 (05:02):
Curious, See I thought that she didn't that she did
live there, because he knew she was going out on
girls nights.
Speaker 7 (05:07):
All the time, maybe she's posting it or something.
Speaker 2 (05:09):
Thanks Jessica, Shane. What's up here on there?
Speaker 1 (05:11):
Good morning, Shane, Shane, Shane, let's go.
Speaker 12 (05:17):
Good morning, John Jay. So, in my opinion, gifts are
never an obligation. There's no rule book that says you
have to buy a gift for somebody. If you buy
him out of the kindness, out of your own heart,
if you if you're wanting to buy a gift, buy
a gift. Doesn't matter how big, doesn't matter how small.
(05:38):
But just the fact that your question in it makes
me believe that maybe you shouldn't. That's my opinion.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
All right, Thank you, Shane Kendall, good morning, you're in there.
Speaker 11 (05:49):
Hi, good morning.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
What's your advice.
Speaker 11 (05:51):
So my opinion is, I don't think he should buy
a gift for her, but depending on the kid's age,
she should let them pick something out for her because
regardless of the statum, so.
Speaker 13 (06:02):
Her kids as well.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
That's really good advice.
Speaker 11 (06:07):
Yeah, but leave the relationship.
Speaker 8 (06:09):
Out of it.
Speaker 5 (06:09):
Do it for the kids.
Speaker 2 (06:10):
Thank you, Latina, good morning.
Speaker 14 (06:14):
Good morning. I definitely would say that because I've been
in that position before. I did leave my kids and
my husband about ten years ago. When we separated and
I was doing the same thing, and the ones I
get hurt the most are the kids. And when we
finally got back together and we discussed it, the biggest
(06:35):
thing was being there for the kids and letting the
kids see.
Speaker 4 (06:37):
That I still did love them.
Speaker 14 (06:39):
So for him to keep his feelings out of it,
as much as you know, he might want to say, hey,
why is this happening, and work on hisself, and she
has to work on herself too, but for the kids
to still be involved and hopefully she comes over and
them pick something out for her, because that's gonna make
(07:00):
them happier, because in the end, it's the kids that
get hurt the worst.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
So you went back. Now you guys are together.
Speaker 4 (07:07):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (07:07):
Yeah, when you left, you left for how long?
Speaker 14 (07:11):
I left for?
Speaker 5 (07:14):
Eight years?
Speaker 9 (07:16):
Dang I almost yeah, I'm almost never heard of that
separation that lung, that's it, gets back together.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
You're a rare one.
Speaker 5 (07:25):
Yeah we stayed.
Speaker 14 (07:26):
Yeah, we stayed married. And you know, I went through
two other relationships and it was really an eye opener
and a wasted time because at the end of the day,
out of each of those two relationships, they both said
how much they hated my husband because I cared about
him and my kids the most instead of them, and
so it just, you know, it was it was a
(07:48):
struggle and it was a you know, a big life
lesson on both of our ends. But now we're stronger
than ever and whatever thing we go through, we.
Speaker 4 (07:56):
We can do it.
Speaker 14 (07:57):
You know, we know we can do it.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
That's great advice. Thanks Latina. Juan, good morning. You're on
the air.
Speaker 12 (08:06):
Oh, good morning.
Speaker 11 (08:07):
What do you Yeah, So I feel like that ship
has failed for that guy.
Speaker 8 (08:12):
You know, it's probably just sending them a rough message
to the kids.
Speaker 1 (08:17):
By alling, allowing all that other and all the gift
giving and all that.
Speaker 4 (08:22):
Just that bird left the next bud he it's time
to move on.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
Yeah, tough words.
Speaker 1 (08:26):
That's how guys are Ye you left your out Melissa,
good morning, go ahead, you're on the air.
Speaker 15 (08:35):
Yes. So she also might take the gifts the wrong way,
like he's trying to win her back with monetary things,
and the gift doesn't have to be an item.
Speaker 4 (08:45):
He could just.
Speaker 15 (08:45):
Write or something and be vulnerable and write how the
separation has been affecting him right, Like what he's going
to do to actually change and affect the relationship in
a positive way to have her come back.
Speaker 1 (09:02):
I guess it depends what the kids is like if
you got her, like, here's some tilent all because you
go out every night your girlfriends and to.
Speaker 2 (09:06):
Help me to hang over.
Speaker 13 (09:08):
And do we know if he wants to get back
together with her.
Speaker 2 (09:11):
He sounds like it.
Speaker 7 (09:12):
It does kind of sound like he doesn't want it
to be over because he has hope.
Speaker 1 (09:17):
Let's see what Roy says, Roy, good morning, you're on
the air. Hey, good morning morning Roy.
Speaker 8 (09:23):
That ship or so that lad if if she already
left him and the kids a bit of a guy
that did that, you guys would be saying, oh, you
guys would be on the guy. But but the girl
doing that, that's just that's just wrong. You don't leave
your family. I was looking on dad for thirteen years.
Speaker 12 (09:43):
And she left.
Speaker 8 (09:44):
She left, and I just raised them and just did
did my own. You just got to move on, all.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Right, thank you?
Speaker 6 (09:51):
Roy. Me See, this is a this is a hot topic.
There's a hot button with people. It's like my time
a hot button. There's a hot button, you guys. I
gotta hit that so hard because he's a button.
Speaker 2 (10:02):
He's a break be mad. It's a button, not a whackamle. Wow,
everyone's calling about this, So okay, I was gonna move
on to.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Something else, but if you eight seven seven nine three
seven one o four seven, I'm messaging.
Speaker 2 (10:18):
I'm still dming with him right now. He's at work.
I should jump on the air with us.
Speaker 1 (10:21):
He goes, I don't believe I can step away at
work for the moment, So maybe we'll have more.
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Jean Rich call.
Speaker 3 (10:29):
The show at eight seven seven nine seven.
Speaker 1 (10:33):
We are in the middle of the situation with this
DM I have with the guy that wanted some advice.
His wife left him and the kids, and he's like,
do I still get her a present? And so an update?
I said, are you guys spending Christmas together with the kids?
And he's DM and me right now He's like, I'm
not sure nothing. He's been communicated to me. The kids
(10:54):
have the communication with her, and they've told me. She
hasn't said anything to them. The only thing said to
the kids was presence will be limited from her end.
Kids are seventeen and twelve. That I said, did she
seeing other guys? Does she work?
Speaker 2 (11:07):
And I can see the three little dots so he's.
Speaker 12 (11:10):
Working on a rea.
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Yeah, Denise, good morning, Hi to morning.
Speaker 4 (11:15):
Has everybody doing great?
Speaker 5 (11:18):
Fantastic?
Speaker 16 (11:20):
My opinion on this is, never ever compromise who you are,
not ever, especially when the kids are around, because it's
about the example. You know that you're setting for the kids,
so you know, and even if he didn't get a present,
right then you know Christmas is happening, and then he's
(11:40):
still in all bad. Then now he's in his ceilings
about not kidding a gift, you know what I mean.
She's always going to be the mother no matter what.
Speaker 2 (11:50):
So you think he should get a gift.
Speaker 16 (11:53):
Absolutely Yet oh okay, you can change who he is?
Not ever?
Speaker 9 (11:58):
Well yeah, they always say it's even if your kids
don't understand what you're doing, at some point they'll figure
out for themselves where you stand in the whole separation thing, right,
They'll make their own opinions. So just be a person
of integrity the whole way through.
Speaker 5 (12:14):
Perfect That's exactly right.
Speaker 16 (12:17):
So get the gift and continue to be who you are.
I mean, don't you know? Still the kids are watching
you know what I mean? They will They're like recorders,
they will repeat it.
Speaker 2 (12:30):
Well, thanks, Denise, thank you, Hey, Ali, before he tells
your opinion.
Speaker 1 (12:34):
He's just updated me. I go, is she seeing other
guys and does she work? He said, yeah. It hurts
me so much that I feel like I failed my
kids having the family they deserve to have.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
I am not sure if she is.
Speaker 8 (12:46):
All.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
I know that before I got hit with the separation,
she was back in talks with an old friend that
has been married three or four times, and each time
it's to a younger guy. So I'm sure that friend
is introducing her to his younger friends. One thing she
did tell me was I got married so young, and
then I got pregnant right after the wedding, so I
missed out on so much for my youth, which I
took as I stole her going out days. She does work.
(13:08):
I don't want to give too much because I'm afraid
she could be listening. Okay, Ali, your advice, go ahead.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Okay.
Speaker 4 (13:14):
So if he's going to get her something, he should
get her something useful, like where she gets her hair
done or her nails or something, because I went through
that with the person that I was with for eight years,
so the father of my child. But it was uncomfortable
because after we separated. His gift that he got me
was a pair of keys to an apartment.
Speaker 2 (13:32):
Oh nice, that sounds cool.
Speaker 4 (13:37):
Oh no, it was it was an apartment for it
was an apartment for the two of us to move into,
because that's the thing that I wanted the most and
he never wanted to do that.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
So what did you do?
Speaker 4 (13:50):
I kindly told him no, and I told him that
unfortunately I had made my decision because it had been
eight years and her relationship hadn't gone to go.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Good for you? All right, thank you, Ali? I got more.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
He goes, I said, hey, make sure you listen to
the podcast today. I don't know if he's listening live
or not. Say the work, And then he goes, thank you,
John Jay, Can Kyle and Peyton give me their opinions?
And I think you have right? Or have you not?
Speaker 2 (14:16):
Because I was just like, listen to the freaking podcast?
Think I left?
Speaker 13 (14:20):
I think I agree with the first lady that we
talked to, where it was just like, if you are
spending Christmas with the kids, get her something small, you know,
just so it's you kind of save space, you're keeping
the peace. But if not, I don't think you need to.
Speaker 7 (14:36):
I think I like the idea of going and picking
out a gift for her with the kids. I don't
think you're obligated to get her something from you, but
I do think it would be special to have them
pick something out for her.
Speaker 1 (14:47):
Yeah, all right, there you go, Kyl and Payton. Fantastic advice.
Grateful that you guys are here. So from what I'm
gathering for the last forty five minutes of the show
is for Christmas.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
I should get Blake Corona apartment.
Speaker 13 (15:00):
And I think I take that out of there you go,
And I don't think she would like to be.
Speaker 16 (15:05):
TV alone for you.
Speaker 6 (15:07):
Last night.
Speaker 2 (15:07):
I want to watch my shows on my new TV.
They're watching the un A basketball game in there. What Gibs,
this is my TV.
Speaker 9 (15:14):
You got the whole houses, my TVs one thing nuts.
Speaker 2 (15:17):
Man. I can't wait for the holidays are over. Everyone
go back to school.
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