January 16, 2020 • 27 mins
So often, we try to use outside sources to find our inner value. Our jobs. Our bank accounts. Our relationships with other people.
But the fact is... our inner value isn't found externally. It's found internally. And the stronger our inner value, the greater wealth we'll see in all part of our lives outside of ourselves.
This week, Dan is helping you turn inward and do the work to find your inner worth.
Topics discussed on the podcast include:
- How money is the result of sharing your value with the world, not the cause.
- When we reconnect to our inner value, we reconnect to our true selves.
- Why so many lottery winners go broke.
- The importance of looking at how you use your time and assessing what you should be doing with it.
- Dan's homework for you: the Amplified Schedule Inventory.
- Why you should stop investing in things and invest in yourself.
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Follow Dan on Instagram for daily tips and motivation: @cscdanmason
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Episode eighty nine, How to Increase Your Inner Value. My
name is Dan Mason. I was overweight, getting divorced, battling depression,
and feeling trapped in a career where I was successful
but bored and unfulfilled. And it's actually the greatest gift
I've ever been given. I use my pain as a
springboard to discover my life's purpose. Now I want to
(00:23):
share the same tools and strategies which helped transform my
life with you so you can live life amplify. I'm
gonna start this week with two quotes. The first one
is from Brian Tracy, who says, if you wish to
achieve worthwhile things and your personal and career life, you
must become a worthwhile person in your own self development.
(00:43):
And the second quote is from Tim Fargo. He says,
if you want to improve yourself worth, stop giving other
people the calculator. Hello, and welcome back everybody to life amplified.
I share those quotes because they really represent both the
ideal of how we live our lives and how we
want to show up. And the second quote really represents
(01:04):
the obstacle that is in our way of truly owning
our inner value. We are trying to consume it from
the world rather than discover it within ourselves and bring
it forward. So anytime we talk about self worth, self love,
self esteem, and personal development, those words begin with self
for a reason. It is our responsibility, you could say,
(01:26):
our utmost responsibility, to discover it within ourselves and bring
it forward. Most of us, though, are in the endless chase,
looking out there to find things to make us feel
more valuable. And you know it's usually the opinion of
other people. That's a big one. I always love the
TV show Shark Tank because you can see these entrepreneurs
(01:48):
walk into the Shark Tank who have worked so hard
on this passion project, and they walk in really owning
their values. Sometimes they have these pie in the sky
evaluations of themselves in their company. They'll stand in front
of the room and be like, I am looking for
half a million dollars for a ten percent steak in
my business because they believe that their value and the
(02:09):
value of the company is five million dollars. And they
believe that for about three seconds until one of the
people in the room challenges them on their sales figures
or their marketing plan. And you can watch people based
on the opinion of the sharks begin to collapse on themselves.
They start to sweat, they start stammering, and all of
a sudden, they're walking out of there with a hundred
(02:32):
thousand dollars for a thirty three percent stake in their company.
And maybe that's the right action plan for them, maybe
it's not, but it illustrates the point that a lot
of times are self worth is based on outside circumstances,
outside of ourselves, and that will create a life of frustration, anxiety, depression, stress, frustration,
(02:53):
you name it. So my question for you to reflect
on this week is what makes you valuable or does
your value come from? There's the answer that we know
we should say, but our behavior is not always congruent
with it. Most people believe that their value will come
in getting the next certification or degree. I see this
on coaching applications. I hear it from many people that
(03:15):
I talked to when they're stuck in a dead end career.
You know that they fell into it's not a job
that they ever wanted, and they're thinking about their next level.
They're like, well, I'm gonna go back and get my master's.
I'm all for education. If getting a master's feels expansive
to you. And if it's truly aligned with your next
right step because you're moving from your purpose, you know,
(03:35):
rock on, go get it. But many people are out
there throwing down a hundred thousand dollars on a master's
program and they don't even know why they want it.
They just think that the piece of paper is going
to give them value in the eyes of an employer
or a future boss. Other people are chasing their value
in their possessions. If you go way back toen we
(03:57):
did the interview with Shawn Ascanozi, who was the undefeated
trial attorney who became a chocolate heer, and as he
realized that, you know, he was doing so well, the
number one lawyer in the state of Missouri, but he
was unfulfilled. You know, Rather than go pursue the thing
he felt called to do, he just went and bought
a new Mercedes. And I did it. Like in two
(04:18):
thousand six, the first time I moved to California, I
was the guy that overpaid on the square foot house
in a gated community with the big swimming pool and
a waterfall effect because I thought that that was what
would give me value. I thought I would feel like
I was enough by having this, and all I did
was completely overpay at the bottom of the housing market
(04:40):
for a house that was way bigger than I needed
for me and a dog at that point in my life.
So it was a very expensive lesson learned. And the house,
which was such a source of you know, silf value
and made me really proud of myself for about the
first six months, then became a news around my neck
because I was like, oh my god, I how to
pay this mortgage payment again, and I knew I was
(05:02):
never going to see this money back because the housing
market went south. So we look for our value in certifications, degrees,
we look forward in possessions. We can look for it
through our work, which if your work is connected to
your purpose, that can be a healthy thing. But many
of us are just chasing the next pay raise or
(05:22):
the next set of alphabet soup. In the corporate world,
you know, thinking all of if I become a VP
at my company, I'll be enough in the minute you
do that, you want to become an s v P,
then an e v P. It's this endless, endless chase.
So here's what I want to establish off the bat today.
What is your value? It's not about your net worth.
(05:43):
Your net worth doesn't equal your self worth. Your value
is simply about how connected you are to your purpose,
because when you're connected to your purpose, you are connected
to your infinite value. When you are moving from your
purpose is you are connected to your infinite imagination and creativity,
(06:04):
and you are using it towards something bigger than yourself. However,
most of us, if you think about this, we are
just born with this well of infinite creativity. We are
imaginative beings. We are creations, and therefore we are here
to create, and most of us invest our time and
energy creating the worst possible scenario. We invest all of
(06:26):
our time living in fear about, oh my god, what
happens if I do this? What happens if I don't
do this. We use all of this precious energy we've
been given trying to prevent things that haven't happened yet.
That's why we live in a culture of anxiety. You know,
a very high number of my clients come to me
and they experience anxiety pretty regularly, and that for me
(06:47):
is always a telltale sign that you have repressed your
own self expression. You are taking the path and doing
the things that are expected of you in your life.
You're doing the things that are safe, You're doing the
things that your family's old you would keep you safe.
But you are not really living in your inner value.
You're not owning it, and you're not connected to your
(07:08):
gifts and using them in service of other people. And
over time, yes, that will lead to anxiety. It certainly
leads to stress, and it could lead to depression. So
there was a study out of the University of Michigan
that I thought it was really telling. They studied the
self esteem of college students. So they started to work
with these kids before they went to school and then
(07:28):
through the fall and spring semesters. They studied six kids.
Here's what they found. They asked the students what they
based their self esteem on. More than eight percent of
the kids said academic competence, sent said their families support.
Sixty six percent of people based their self esteem on
doing better than others, and about sixty of the studies
(07:51):
and out of that this was overwhelmingly true for women
based their self esteem on their appearance. Now, the college
student who base their self worth on academic performance did
not receive higher grades than the other kids in the study,
even though that they were highly motivated, studying more hours
(08:11):
each week, working harder than the students who did not
rate academic performance as important to their self esteem. However,
the students who base their self worth on academic achievement
were more likely to report conflicts with professors in greater stress.
So there's a quote here from the researchers. She says,
they feel motivated to do well in academics, but having
(08:31):
their self worth on the line doesn't help their performance.
What does this have to do with you. You're like Dan,
i am not in school anymore. You can easily replace
the word academic performance with career trajectory and career performance.
And that's what's interesting is the amount that the kids
studied did not relate to a higher productivity or higher
(08:54):
academic performance. But we also have so much research that
says the more hours you're putting and at work does
not make you more productive. You can work sixty seventy
eighty hour weeks, there's always going to be something else
on your desk the next day. So as you become tired,
your mental clarity is off, you become more stressed, you
become more overwhelmed, you're fatigued, which means you're not mentally sharp,
(09:18):
and through your striving to impress your boss or impress
your coworkers, all you're doing is affecting your own mental health.
So what did this study at Michigan say about self
esteem that comes from internal sources such as being a
virtuous person or adhering to moral standards. Those people were
found to receive higher grades. They were also less likely
(09:40):
to use alcohol or drugs or to develop eating disorders.
The research you're here says in the Journal of Social Issues,
we really think if people could adopt goals not focused
on their own self esteem, but on something larger than
their self, such as what they can create or contribute
to others, then they would be less susceptible to some
the negative effects of pursuing self esteem. It's about having
(10:03):
a goal that is bigger than the self, and that
is really what we're talking about when we consider the
idea of purpose. It is a set of emotional states
that you generate within yourself and then you give to
the world through your service. It is being connected to
yourself and something bigger than you. So let's be clear,
your job is not your value. The amount of work
(10:26):
and hours you put in does not determine your value.
The number of people swiping on you on your online
dating app who are trying to meet you does not
determine your value. And absolutely your money does not determine
your value. However, this is the mindset shift I want
you to leave this episode with this week. Money is
(10:48):
the result of sharing your value with the world when
you are solving problems for other people, when you are
truly connected to your own gifts and using that to
add value to the lives about there's people will pay
you for that. So money is the result of sharing
your value. It is not the cause of your value.
(11:08):
Your true wealth is all about the creativity that allows
you to express your purpose. I talked about this last year.
One of the most impactful books that I read in
nineteen was The Illusion of Money by Kyle C's and
he talks about this idea of what would happen if
the economy went south, if we have God forbid the
(11:29):
world slipped into another depression. Let's say Oprah lost everything
that she owned, she lost all the homes, she lost
the big house with the giant oak trees that you
see on super soul Sunday, she lost all the money
in her bank account. You know, she couldn't sell the oh,
that's good cauliflower pizza anymore in the frozen food section
(11:50):
of your store. Would Oprah no longer have value if
she lost all of her money, of course not. Oprah
would have so much value and be able to replenish
her bank accounts because Oprah's value is not what's on
her Chase Bank statement. It's not about you know, what's
in her four oh one K or her investment accounts.
Oprah's true as value is her empathy, her connectedness, her
(12:13):
storytelling ability, and her genuine desire to lift people up.
That is what Oprah's worth is based on. So if
she lost all of her money tomorrow, Oprah would still
be able to generate. Now, if you think conversely about
all these people that you see who win the powerball
drawing on television. Now when they have to come out
(12:33):
and go public and they get their big publishers clearing
house oversized, you know, cardboard check number one. You never
seem to see high six figure, high seven figure people
who win the lottery. Rich people generally do not play
the lottery because they feel like they've won the lottery.
Every day, they know they're worth, they're connected to their value.
(12:54):
They're just out there in the business of being generative
in their action. A lot of times when we see
lottery winners, these are people who come from more of
a poverty background. And this is also why those people
go broke within three years of winning the lottery. You
can be given five million dollars, you can win the
(13:15):
powerball tomorrow. But if you don't know your inner worth,
and if you are not rich in your own mind,
you'll never be able to sustain wealth in the outside world.
I think that that's an important point, and I want
to say that again. If you are not wealthy internally,
and you are not owning yourself value, you will never
(13:37):
create or maintain wealth in the external world. People who
are going through the motions in a job that they
hate but it pays well, you know, these are the
people who value money over their own purpose. And what
I generally find is those people will lose both. They
(13:59):
will hang on. They will work themselves into the ground
until there is a health crisis. They will work themselves
into the ground until there's an emotional crisis that you
know their schedule literally tears the family apart, and then
they're going through a divorce. They will work at the
same job and keep cashing the checks until the company
gets sold and they get laid off or they get
(14:20):
replaced by artificial intelligence. But if you're valuing money over
your purpose, there will come a day eventually when you
don't have either. You can't sustain any external wealth if
you don't see yourself as valuable. So what is the
process that we can take today to begin to reclaim
our inner value? How do we reconnect to that part
(14:41):
of ourselves. I'm going to give you two strategies. So
perhaps the best way that we can start to understand
how we value ourselves is how do we value our time?
And the goal here is that we want to release
ourselves from the things that lower your personal valuation and
stifle your growth. So if you kept a diary of
every single thing that you do over a three to
(15:04):
five day span, I'm talking to everything you know, sleeping,
brushing your teeth, going to meetings. How much time are
you spending on the toilet? Let's just call it out,
because you know that there is You might very well
be the person who will just sit in the bathroom
with the door locked for an extra ten minutes, pretending
that you're pooping, when in reality, you're just trying to
(15:26):
get away from like the responsibilities of your home. You're
in there scrolling on Facebook long after you've already finished
your business, just because you don't want to deal with
the stress of life. Let's mark down how much time
are you spending doing these things? How much time are
you spending on your commute. Take a full inventory of
all the things that you do, and then we want
(15:46):
to start to categorize them. We want to take a
letter P and market next to the actions and the
things that we do each each day or each week
that represent our priorities in life. And then let's take
a letter G and let's just put that down for
the activities and tasks that we're doing that are moving
(16:07):
as quicker to our goals. So, if you're big gold
this year, is that you want to lose that stubborn
fifteen pounds a gym time is great, We're gonna put
a G next to that. If you're food prepping for
the week, same thing. Also, what are the things that
just amplify your life that brings a sense of play
and fun enjoy. Perhaps that's spending time with your children
(16:28):
in the backyard. Perhaps that is, you know, going to
the movies with your best friend. But if there's something
that truly amplifies your life that just adds a sense
of player fun, we're gonna put an A next to that.
But also, as we start to take inventory, what are
the things that you hate doing? We're gonna put a
big X next to anything that you hate doing. What
(16:48):
are the things that you're doing because you feel like
you should do them? What are your shoulds in your
life right now? Let's put an S next to that.
And there's some of them they're not showed their mud.
We know that you have to sleep right, we know
that you have to brush your teeth. Let's put an
end there, and we want to start categorizing all the
(17:08):
ways that we use our time. The things, though, that
have a P or a G next to them are
the important ones. Those are the things we should really
be doing. And I would also suggest that you're a's
the amplified activities. That's important too, because we have to
have a sense of fun and connection in our lives.
(17:30):
But anything that you've marked is being something that you
hate or something that you feel like you should do.
That's where we want to examine how much time are
you wasting? And there might be some activities in your
life that you're not sure how to categorize it. You
might drink a couple of glasses of wine and watch Netflix,
but you know that's not really amplifying your life. It's
(17:50):
certainly not moving you toward a priority or a goal,
and it's also not something that you should or have
to do, so you don't know where to put it.
We want to get curious of about that as well,
and where this week could you eliminate or greatly reduce
some of those things that came up in your hate
category or you should category? And how can you spend
(18:11):
more time doing the things that are moving you toward
your priorities and your goals. As we begin to eliminate
the activities that numb us out from our pain, we're
creating space for new inspiration, for new creativity to come through,
for greater clarity on our next right steps. So I
(18:31):
call that an amplified schedule inventory, and I think that
that's a great exercise that you can engage in. But
the second thing, if you really want to increase your
inner value. Going all the way back to the Brian
Tracy quote that I shared at the beginning of the episode,
if you're working on yourself more than you work for
other people, your value will automatically increase. When you set
(18:55):
the boundary and you are not spending hours nine through
eleven in the office to try to prove your value
to your boss who who's already long gone. He doesn't
know that you're there working. When you stop doing that,
now we've freed up hours for you to start to
engage in yourself. That's more time for you to get
(19:16):
to the gym, which is going to make you feel better.
Certainly increases the endorphins in your body. That's going to
lift you up, and as you start seeing the results
in the mirror, that's going to increase yourself value because
you know that you are doing something that nurtures yourself.
There is certainly the opportunity for you to invest in
yourself this year. You know, whether that be working with
(19:38):
a therapist, working with a coach, going to seminars retreats.
But you've got to begin to acquire some new life
skills and strategies because if you continue to fall into
the same patterns of procrastination, perfectionism, people pleasing, isolating yourself
from the world because you're so tired from your job
(20:00):
you don't even have the energy to show up. You
keep engaging in those behaviors, you're just going to get
more of the same results. Nothing will change. It's amazing
to me how many times will invest in the new
flat screen TV. Right, So, I just saw this. Ever Christmas,
there's always some deal. You see people leaving with a
huge box with a brand new TV. I'm like, I
(20:21):
buy a new TV once every ten years, Like why
why do people need one every Christmas? But you know,
we invest in the new toy or the new gadget,
or get the new iPhone and these, you know, And
I've been the guy I think every new model of
the iPhone is going to be the one that it
will change my life forever. And then I'm like, well,
the cameras a little better, but now it's pretty much
(20:42):
still the same old iPhone. If you stop investing in
those things out there that distract you from your problems
and begin to invest in yourself, it's the best investment
that you'll ever make. One of the things that comes
up you know. When I talk to clients, you know,
and I offer the opportunity at the end every episode
for you to fill out a coaching application. We put
(21:03):
a link to it in the show notes, and once
you do that, you have a chance to schedule a
discovery call with me so we can talk more about
your goals and see if we're fit to work together.
But one of the things that I hear from the
people who choose not to invest is they always tell
me Dan, I'm sure you're coaching is worth every single penny.
And by the way, they're right, very good at what
(21:25):
I do. That's why my clients show up, they get
great results. But then they follow that up with the
butt I'm sure you're worth every penny, but I can't.
I can't spend this money right now. So if you're
positive that the thing that you're investing in is worth
the investment, what is the part of you that doesn't
believe you're worth making the investment in yourself? That is
(21:50):
the question that you have to consider. If you're a
person who has been on the fence about getting some
support this year, trying to white knuckle it another year
and makeing these changes on your own but you've been
trying that for six or seven years, and it always
just ends up in another year of broken promises to yourself.
You want to talk about ways to reduce yourself worth,
(22:11):
have another year of just breaking promises and not doing
the things that you said you were going to do.
That's the fast track, right That is like your fast
pass to lowering your own self esteem, because then you
don't trust yourself anymore. And that's why having the accountability
in the mentorship is everything. And look, maybe it's me.
(22:31):
I certainly would love to work with you. I'd love
to talk more about my coaching programs. But maybe it's
somebody else. Maybe it's the seminar you want to go
to I take. You know, I took a lot of
grief from my father last year when I told him
in the amount that I spend on my own coaching
and personal development, He's like, oh my god, you could
take all that money the past couple of years and
put a down payment on a house. I'm like, I've
(22:53):
bought the house before. I know that that didn't make
me any happier. And that's not to say that there's
not going to be a time in my life, you know,
particularly is I find my person or build the relationship
where we're not going to want to have a house together.
But right now, I know buying the house in and
of itself isn't what's going to move my life forward.
My expansion is what makes me feel good. The more
(23:13):
I invest in myself, the more value and service I
can provide to my clients. I think about the people
that work with me four years ago, and really the
only thing that I knew how to do up until
that point was helped people really create their purpose statement
for their lives. And I knew a little bit about
trauma and the nervous system, so I can help people
see their blind spots. But the amount that I've invested
(23:34):
over the past four years allows me to offer so
much more value to my clients, and it's also helped
me increase my own personal valuation. So you've got to
get off the fence and you've got to find what
is the thing that's going to move your life forward.
Not the master's degree. I mean, master's degrees are great,
(23:54):
but if it's not really aligned with your purpose or
for how you want to show up in the world,
or particularly if you're a person who doesn't know your purpose,
You're just going to spend a bunch of money on
a master's and be like, well, I still don't know
where I'm going or what direction I'm moving in. So
this is the important conversation to recap on some of
the important points today. If you're a person who is
(24:15):
experiencing stress or anxiety as a baseline, it is the
number one telltale sign that you are disconnected from your
purpose and your true value. Your inner value is about
how connected to your purpose you are and how much
you're bringing it forward into the world. Money is the
result of you sharing your value with the world. It
(24:36):
is not the cause of your value. And remember, if
you value money more than your purpose, there will come
a day when you won't have either, because you cannot
sustain in the external world what you don't have internally
within yourself. Two ways that you can begin to increase
your value. Number one, keep a detailed journal of all
(24:56):
the ways you spend your time over the course of
the day. We're gonna break those out by categories, but
we want to closely examine the things you're doing that
are things that you should do, and the things that
you're doing that you hate. And also, what are the
things that you're doing just to numb out and not
feel that are distracting you from your purpose? And number two,
if you really work on yourself more than you work
(25:20):
for other people, your value automatically increases. This is a
message from my heart to yours, my friends. I'm just
here teaching all the things that I've had to learn
and things that I'm still in the process of learning
in my life. I hope this serves you. If you
love this podcast, would you please share it with a friend.
You can screenshot it, upload it to Instagram or Twitter.
(25:42):
Be sure to tag me at c sc Dan Mason.
You can also share your AHA moments in our private
Facebook group, the Life Amplified Power Tribe. We got a
link to that in the show notes. Would love if
you could take two minutes out of your day today.
Those five star ratings and reviews up on Apple mean
the world to us. They help us with the algorithm.
Or you can just give us a follow on the
(26:04):
I Heart radio app or whatever platform that you're listening on.
And if you need some coaching and support this year,
if you've been going through the motions and you haven't
been valuing your time, and you're you're a person who's
been on the endless hamster wheel chase of going after
that next ambitious career goal, but you're still not feeling fulfilled.
(26:26):
That's a telltale sign it's time for you to work
with a coach. I do have some spots open, both
in my one on one v I P coaching program,
but also the Wavelength group coaching program, which we just
officially got kicked off last week. Amazing breakthroughs already happening already.
I'm so inspired by the people who are showing up there,
(26:46):
and I'd love to talk to you about which option
is the best fit for you to move forward this
year to create your amplified career in life with more meaning,
more freedom, and more joy. Go to my website for
info on how we can connect and how you can
apply for those coaching programs created sole coaching dot Net.
In the meantime, turn down the volume on your negativity,
(27:08):
turn up the volume on your purpose so you can
live life amplified. I'll talk to you next week.
Episode eighty nine, How to Increase Your Inner Value. My
name is Dan Mason. I was overweight, getting divorced, battling depression,
and feeling trapped in a career where I was successful
but bored and unfulfilled. And it's actually the greatest gift
I've ever been given. I use my pain as a
springboard to discover my life's purpose. Now I want to
(00:23):
share the same tools and strategies which helped transform my
life with you so you can live life amplify. I'm
gonna start this week with two quotes. The first one
is from Brian Tracy, who says, if you wish to
achieve worthwhile things and your personal and career life, you
must become a worthwhile person in your own self development.
(00:43):
And the second quote is from Tim Fargo. He says,
if you want to improve yourself worth, stop giving other
people the calculator. Hello, and welcome back everybody to life amplified.
I share those quotes because they really represent both the
ideal of how we live our lives and how we
want to show up. And the second quote really represents
(01:04):
the obstacle that is in our way of truly owning
our inner value. We are trying to consume it from
the world rather than discover it within ourselves and bring
it forward. So anytime we talk about self worth, self love,
self esteem, and personal development, those words begin with self
for a reason. It is our responsibility, you could say,
(01:26):
our utmost responsibility, to discover it within ourselves and bring
it forward. Most of us, though, are in the endless chase,
looking out there to find things to make us feel
more valuable. And you know it's usually the opinion of
other people. That's a big one. I always love the
TV show Shark Tank because you can see these entrepreneurs
(01:48):
walk into the Shark Tank who have worked so hard
on this passion project, and they walk in really owning
their values. Sometimes they have these pie in the sky
evaluations of themselves in their company. They'll stand in front
of the room and be like, I am looking for
half a million dollars for a ten percent steak in
my business because they believe that their value and the
(02:09):
value of the company is five million dollars. And they
believe that for about three seconds until one of the
people in the room challenges them on their sales figures
or their marketing plan. And you can watch people based
on the opinion of the sharks begin to collapse on themselves.
They start to sweat, they start stammering, and all of
a sudden, they're walking out of there with a hundred
(02:32):
thousand dollars for a thirty three percent stake in their company.
And maybe that's the right action plan for them, maybe
it's not, but it illustrates the point that a lot
of times are self worth is based on outside circumstances,
outside of ourselves, and that will create a life of frustration, anxiety, depression, stress, frustration,
(02:53):
you name it. So my question for you to reflect
on this week is what makes you valuable or does
your value come from? There's the answer that we know
we should say, but our behavior is not always congruent
with it. Most people believe that their value will come
in getting the next certification or degree. I see this
on coaching applications. I hear it from many people that
(03:15):
I talked to when they're stuck in a dead end career.
You know that they fell into it's not a job
that they ever wanted, and they're thinking about their next level.
They're like, well, I'm gonna go back and get my master's.
I'm all for education. If getting a master's feels expansive
to you. And if it's truly aligned with your next
right step because you're moving from your purpose, you know,
(03:35):
rock on, go get it. But many people are out
there throwing down a hundred thousand dollars on a master's
program and they don't even know why they want it.
They just think that the piece of paper is going
to give them value in the eyes of an employer
or a future boss. Other people are chasing their value
in their possessions. If you go way back toen we
(03:57):
did the interview with Shawn Ascanozi, who was the undefeated
trial attorney who became a chocolate heer, and as he
realized that, you know, he was doing so well, the
number one lawyer in the state of Missouri, but he
was unfulfilled. You know, Rather than go pursue the thing
he felt called to do, he just went and bought
a new Mercedes. And I did it. Like in two
(04:18):
thousand six, the first time I moved to California, I
was the guy that overpaid on the square foot house
in a gated community with the big swimming pool and
a waterfall effect because I thought that that was what
would give me value. I thought I would feel like
I was enough by having this, and all I did
was completely overpay at the bottom of the housing market
(04:40):
for a house that was way bigger than I needed
for me and a dog at that point in my life.
So it was a very expensive lesson learned. And the house,
which was such a source of you know, silf value
and made me really proud of myself for about the
first six months, then became a news around my neck
because I was like, oh my god, I how to
pay this mortgage payment again, and I knew I was
(05:02):
never going to see this money back because the housing
market went south. So we look for our value in certifications, degrees,
we look forward in possessions. We can look for it
through our work, which if your work is connected to
your purpose, that can be a healthy thing. But many
of us are just chasing the next pay raise or
(05:22):
the next set of alphabet soup. In the corporate world,
you know, thinking all of if I become a VP
at my company, I'll be enough in the minute you
do that, you want to become an s v P,
then an e v P. It's this endless, endless chase.
So here's what I want to establish off the bat today.
What is your value? It's not about your net worth.
(05:43):
Your net worth doesn't equal your self worth. Your value
is simply about how connected you are to your purpose,
because when you're connected to your purpose, you are connected
to your infinite value. When you are moving from your
purpose is you are connected to your infinite imagination and creativity,
(06:04):
and you are using it towards something bigger than yourself. However,
most of us, if you think about this, we are
just born with this well of infinite creativity. We are
imaginative beings. We are creations, and therefore we are here
to create, and most of us invest our time and
energy creating the worst possible scenario. We invest all of
(06:26):
our time living in fear about, oh my god, what
happens if I do this? What happens if I don't
do this. We use all of this precious energy we've
been given trying to prevent things that haven't happened yet.
That's why we live in a culture of anxiety. You know,
a very high number of my clients come to me
and they experience anxiety pretty regularly, and that for me
(06:47):
is always a telltale sign that you have repressed your
own self expression. You are taking the path and doing
the things that are expected of you in your life.
You're doing the things that are safe, You're doing the
things that your family's old you would keep you safe.
But you are not really living in your inner value.
You're not owning it, and you're not connected to your
(07:08):
gifts and using them in service of other people. And
over time, yes, that will lead to anxiety. It certainly
leads to stress, and it could lead to depression. So
there was a study out of the University of Michigan
that I thought it was really telling. They studied the
self esteem of college students. So they started to work
with these kids before they went to school and then
(07:28):
through the fall and spring semesters. They studied six kids.
Here's what they found. They asked the students what they
based their self esteem on. More than eight percent of
the kids said academic competence, sent said their families support.
Sixty six percent of people based their self esteem on
doing better than others, and about sixty of the studies
(07:51):
and out of that this was overwhelmingly true for women
based their self esteem on their appearance. Now, the college
student who base their self worth on academic performance did
not receive higher grades than the other kids in the study,
even though that they were highly motivated, studying more hours
(08:11):
each week, working harder than the students who did not
rate academic performance as important to their self esteem. However,
the students who base their self worth on academic achievement
were more likely to report conflicts with professors in greater stress.
So there's a quote here from the researchers. She says,
they feel motivated to do well in academics, but having
(08:31):
their self worth on the line doesn't help their performance.
What does this have to do with you. You're like Dan,
i am not in school anymore. You can easily replace
the word academic performance with career trajectory and career performance.
And that's what's interesting is the amount that the kids
studied did not relate to a higher productivity or higher
(08:54):
academic performance. But we also have so much research that
says the more hours you're putting and at work does
not make you more productive. You can work sixty seventy
eighty hour weeks, there's always going to be something else
on your desk the next day. So as you become tired,
your mental clarity is off, you become more stressed, you
become more overwhelmed, you're fatigued, which means you're not mentally sharp,
(09:18):
and through your striving to impress your boss or impress
your coworkers, all you're doing is affecting your own mental health.
So what did this study at Michigan say about self
esteem that comes from internal sources such as being a
virtuous person or adhering to moral standards. Those people were
found to receive higher grades. They were also less likely
(09:40):
to use alcohol or drugs or to develop eating disorders.
The research you're here says in the Journal of Social Issues,
we really think if people could adopt goals not focused
on their own self esteem, but on something larger than
their self, such as what they can create or contribute
to others, then they would be less susceptible to some
the negative effects of pursuing self esteem. It's about having
(10:03):
a goal that is bigger than the self, and that
is really what we're talking about when we consider the
idea of purpose. It is a set of emotional states
that you generate within yourself and then you give to
the world through your service. It is being connected to
yourself and something bigger than you. So let's be clear,
your job is not your value. The amount of work
(10:26):
and hours you put in does not determine your value.
The number of people swiping on you on your online
dating app who are trying to meet you does not
determine your value. And absolutely your money does not determine
your value. However, this is the mindset shift I want
you to leave this episode with this week. Money is
(10:48):
the result of sharing your value with the world when
you are solving problems for other people, when you are
truly connected to your own gifts and using that to
add value to the lives about there's people will pay
you for that. So money is the result of sharing
your value. It is not the cause of your value.
(11:08):
Your true wealth is all about the creativity that allows
you to express your purpose. I talked about this last year.
One of the most impactful books that I read in
nineteen was The Illusion of Money by Kyle C's and
he talks about this idea of what would happen if
the economy went south, if we have God forbid the
(11:29):
world slipped into another depression. Let's say Oprah lost everything
that she owned, she lost all the homes, she lost
the big house with the giant oak trees that you
see on super soul Sunday, she lost all the money
in her bank account. You know, she couldn't sell the oh,
that's good cauliflower pizza anymore in the frozen food section
(11:50):
of your store. Would Oprah no longer have value if
she lost all of her money, of course not. Oprah
would have so much value and be able to replenish
her bank accounts because Oprah's value is not what's on
her Chase Bank statement. It's not about you know, what's
in her four oh one K or her investment accounts.
Oprah's true as value is her empathy, her connectedness, her
(12:13):
storytelling ability, and her genuine desire to lift people up.
That is what Oprah's worth is based on. So if
she lost all of her money tomorrow, Oprah would still
be able to generate. Now, if you think conversely about
all these people that you see who win the powerball
drawing on television. Now when they have to come out
(12:33):
and go public and they get their big publishers clearing
house oversized, you know, cardboard check number one. You never
seem to see high six figure, high seven figure people
who win the lottery. Rich people generally do not play
the lottery because they feel like they've won the lottery.
Every day, they know they're worth, they're connected to their value.
(12:54):
They're just out there in the business of being generative
in their action. A lot of times when we see
lottery winners, these are people who come from more of
a poverty background. And this is also why those people
go broke within three years of winning the lottery. You
can be given five million dollars, you can win the
(13:15):
powerball tomorrow. But if you don't know your inner worth,
and if you are not rich in your own mind,
you'll never be able to sustain wealth in the outside world.
I think that that's an important point, and I want
to say that again. If you are not wealthy internally,
and you are not owning yourself value, you will never
(13:37):
create or maintain wealth in the external world. People who
are going through the motions in a job that they
hate but it pays well, you know, these are the
people who value money over their own purpose. And what
I generally find is those people will lose both. They
(13:59):
will hang on. They will work themselves into the ground
until there is a health crisis. They will work themselves
into the ground until there's an emotional crisis that you
know their schedule literally tears the family apart, and then
they're going through a divorce. They will work at the
same job and keep cashing the checks until the company
gets sold and they get laid off or they get
(14:20):
replaced by artificial intelligence. But if you're valuing money over
your purpose, there will come a day eventually when you
don't have either. You can't sustain any external wealth if
you don't see yourself as valuable. So what is the
process that we can take today to begin to reclaim
our inner value? How do we reconnect to that part
(14:41):
of ourselves. I'm going to give you two strategies. So
perhaps the best way that we can start to understand
how we value ourselves is how do we value our time?
And the goal here is that we want to release
ourselves from the things that lower your personal valuation and
stifle your growth. So if you kept a diary of
every single thing that you do over a three to
(15:04):
five day span, I'm talking to everything you know, sleeping,
brushing your teeth, going to meetings. How much time are
you spending on the toilet? Let's just call it out,
because you know that there is You might very well
be the person who will just sit in the bathroom
with the door locked for an extra ten minutes, pretending
that you're pooping, when in reality, you're just trying to
(15:26):
get away from like the responsibilities of your home. You're
in there scrolling on Facebook long after you've already finished
your business, just because you don't want to deal with
the stress of life. Let's mark down how much time
are you spending doing these things? How much time are
you spending on your commute. Take a full inventory of
all the things that you do, and then we want
(15:46):
to start to categorize them. We want to take a
letter P and market next to the actions and the
things that we do each each day or each week
that represent our priorities in life. And then let's take
a letter G and let's just put that down for
the activities and tasks that we're doing that are moving
(16:07):
as quicker to our goals. So, if you're big gold
this year, is that you want to lose that stubborn
fifteen pounds a gym time is great, We're gonna put
a G next to that. If you're food prepping for
the week, same thing. Also, what are the things that
just amplify your life that brings a sense of play
and fun enjoy. Perhaps that's spending time with your children
(16:28):
in the backyard. Perhaps that is, you know, going to
the movies with your best friend. But if there's something
that truly amplifies your life that just adds a sense
of player fun, we're gonna put an A next to that.
But also, as we start to take inventory, what are
the things that you hate doing? We're gonna put a
big X next to anything that you hate doing. What
(16:48):
are the things that you're doing because you feel like
you should do them? What are your shoulds in your
life right now? Let's put an S next to that.
And there's some of them they're not showed their mud.
We know that you have to sleep right, we know
that you have to brush your teeth. Let's put an
end there, and we want to start categorizing all the
(17:08):
ways that we use our time. The things, though, that
have a P or a G next to them are
the important ones. Those are the things we should really
be doing. And I would also suggest that you're a's
the amplified activities. That's important too, because we have to
have a sense of fun and connection in our lives.
(17:30):
But anything that you've marked is being something that you
hate or something that you feel like you should do.
That's where we want to examine how much time are
you wasting? And there might be some activities in your
life that you're not sure how to categorize it. You
might drink a couple of glasses of wine and watch Netflix,
but you know that's not really amplifying your life. It's
(17:50):
certainly not moving you toward a priority or a goal,
and it's also not something that you should or have
to do, so you don't know where to put it.
We want to get curious of about that as well,
and where this week could you eliminate or greatly reduce
some of those things that came up in your hate
category or you should category? And how can you spend
(18:11):
more time doing the things that are moving you toward
your priorities and your goals. As we begin to eliminate
the activities that numb us out from our pain, we're
creating space for new inspiration, for new creativity to come through,
for greater clarity on our next right steps. So I
(18:31):
call that an amplified schedule inventory, and I think that
that's a great exercise that you can engage in. But
the second thing, if you really want to increase your
inner value. Going all the way back to the Brian
Tracy quote that I shared at the beginning of the episode,
if you're working on yourself more than you work for
other people, your value will automatically increase. When you set
(18:55):
the boundary and you are not spending hours nine through
eleven in the office to try to prove your value
to your boss who who's already long gone. He doesn't
know that you're there working. When you stop doing that,
now we've freed up hours for you to start to
engage in yourself. That's more time for you to get
(19:16):
to the gym, which is going to make you feel better.
Certainly increases the endorphins in your body. That's going to
lift you up, and as you start seeing the results
in the mirror, that's going to increase yourself value because
you know that you are doing something that nurtures yourself.
There is certainly the opportunity for you to invest in
yourself this year. You know, whether that be working with
(19:38):
a therapist, working with a coach, going to seminars retreats.
But you've got to begin to acquire some new life
skills and strategies because if you continue to fall into
the same patterns of procrastination, perfectionism, people pleasing, isolating yourself
from the world because you're so tired from your job
(20:00):
you don't even have the energy to show up. You
keep engaging in those behaviors, you're just going to get
more of the same results. Nothing will change. It's amazing
to me how many times will invest in the new
flat screen TV. Right, So, I just saw this. Ever Christmas,
there's always some deal. You see people leaving with a
huge box with a brand new TV. I'm like, I
(20:21):
buy a new TV once every ten years, Like why
why do people need one every Christmas? But you know,
we invest in the new toy or the new gadget,
or get the new iPhone and these, you know, And
I've been the guy I think every new model of
the iPhone is going to be the one that it
will change my life forever. And then I'm like, well,
the cameras a little better, but now it's pretty much
(20:42):
still the same old iPhone. If you stop investing in
those things out there that distract you from your problems
and begin to invest in yourself, it's the best investment
that you'll ever make. One of the things that comes
up you know. When I talk to clients, you know,
and I offer the opportunity at the end every episode
for you to fill out a coaching application. We put
(21:03):
a link to it in the show notes, and once
you do that, you have a chance to schedule a
discovery call with me so we can talk more about
your goals and see if we're fit to work together.
But one of the things that I hear from the
people who choose not to invest is they always tell
me Dan, I'm sure you're coaching is worth every single penny.
And by the way, they're right, very good at what
(21:25):
I do. That's why my clients show up, they get
great results. But then they follow that up with the
butt I'm sure you're worth every penny, but I can't.
I can't spend this money right now. So if you're
positive that the thing that you're investing in is worth
the investment, what is the part of you that doesn't
believe you're worth making the investment in yourself? That is
(21:50):
the question that you have to consider. If you're a
person who has been on the fence about getting some
support this year, trying to white knuckle it another year
and makeing these changes on your own but you've been
trying that for six or seven years, and it always
just ends up in another year of broken promises to yourself.
You want to talk about ways to reduce yourself worth,
(22:11):
have another year of just breaking promises and not doing
the things that you said you were going to do.
That's the fast track, right That is like your fast
pass to lowering your own self esteem, because then you
don't trust yourself anymore. And that's why having the accountability
in the mentorship is everything. And look, maybe it's me.
(22:31):
I certainly would love to work with you. I'd love
to talk more about my coaching programs. But maybe it's
somebody else. Maybe it's the seminar you want to go
to I take. You know, I took a lot of
grief from my father last year when I told him
in the amount that I spend on my own coaching
and personal development, He's like, oh my god, you could
take all that money the past couple of years and
put a down payment on a house. I'm like, I've
(22:53):
bought the house before. I know that that didn't make
me any happier. And that's not to say that there's
not going to be a time in my life, you know,
particularly is I find my person or build the relationship
where we're not going to want to have a house together.
But right now, I know buying the house in and
of itself isn't what's going to move my life forward.
My expansion is what makes me feel good. The more
(23:13):
I invest in myself, the more value and service I
can provide to my clients. I think about the people
that work with me four years ago, and really the
only thing that I knew how to do up until
that point was helped people really create their purpose statement
for their lives. And I knew a little bit about
trauma and the nervous system, so I can help people
see their blind spots. But the amount that I've invested
(23:34):
over the past four years allows me to offer so
much more value to my clients, and it's also helped
me increase my own personal valuation. So you've got to
get off the fence and you've got to find what
is the thing that's going to move your life forward.
Not the master's degree. I mean, master's degrees are great,
(23:54):
but if it's not really aligned with your purpose or
for how you want to show up in the world,
or particularly if you're a person who doesn't know your purpose,
You're just going to spend a bunch of money on
a master's and be like, well, I still don't know
where I'm going or what direction I'm moving in. So
this is the important conversation to recap on some of
the important points today. If you're a person who is
(24:15):
experiencing stress or anxiety as a baseline, it is the
number one telltale sign that you are disconnected from your
purpose and your true value. Your inner value is about
how connected to your purpose you are and how much
you're bringing it forward into the world. Money is the
result of you sharing your value with the world. It
(24:36):
is not the cause of your value. And remember, if
you value money more than your purpose, there will come
a day when you won't have either, because you cannot
sustain in the external world what you don't have internally
within yourself. Two ways that you can begin to increase
your value. Number one, keep a detailed journal of all
(24:56):
the ways you spend your time over the course of
the day. We're gonna break those out by categories, but
we want to closely examine the things you're doing that
are things that you should do, and the things that
you're doing that you hate. And also, what are the
things that you're doing just to numb out and not
feel that are distracting you from your purpose? And number two,
if you really work on yourself more than you work
(25:20):
for other people, your value automatically increases. This is a
message from my heart to yours, my friends. I'm just
here teaching all the things that I've had to learn
and things that I'm still in the process of learning
in my life. I hope this serves you. If you
love this podcast, would you please share it with a friend.
You can screenshot it, upload it to Instagram or Twitter.
(25:42):
Be sure to tag me at c sc Dan Mason.
You can also share your AHA moments in our private
Facebook group, the Life Amplified Power Tribe. We got a
link to that in the show notes. Would love if
you could take two minutes out of your day today.
Those five star ratings and reviews up on Apple mean
the world to us. They help us with the algorithm.
Or you can just give us a follow on the
(26:04):
I Heart radio app or whatever platform that you're listening on.
And if you need some coaching and support this year,
if you've been going through the motions and you haven't
been valuing your time, and you're you're a person who's
been on the endless hamster wheel chase of going after
that next ambitious career goal, but you're still not feeling fulfilled.
(26:26):
That's a telltale sign it's time for you to work
with a coach. I do have some spots open, both
in my one on one v I P coaching program,
but also the Wavelength group coaching program, which we just
officially got kicked off last week. Amazing breakthroughs already happening already.
I'm so inspired by the people who are showing up there,
(26:46):
and I'd love to talk to you about which option
is the best fit for you to move forward this
year to create your amplified career in life with more meaning,
more freedom, and more joy. Go to my website for
info on how we can connect and how you can
apply for those coaching programs created sole coaching dot Net.
In the meantime, turn down the volume on your negativity,
(27:08):
turn up the volume on your purpose so you can
live life amplified. I'll talk to you next week.
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