July 27, 2019 • 38 mins
This week on Life Amplified, Dan welcomes another one of his proud graduates... Nicole Obenshine!
Nicole is a coach, speaker, author and founder of Postpartum to Powerful, an organization to support Mothers/Birth Parents with PMADs, raise awareness and create resources for the maternal community. After reaching out for help after the birth of her son, she decided to take what she learned and help other moms who suffer from similar situations. She took her pain and used it as a springboard to create a new career and business for herself, all the while helping other moms!
In this episode, Dan and Nicole discuss:
- The science and research behind postpartum mood and anxiety disorder.
- How Nicole was able to take her real life situations after the birth of her son and turn it into a business to help others.
- Why the self-talk in your head isn't true and what you need to do to be able to tone it down.
- How it's okay to reach out and ask for help, especially when you don't know what you're dealing with.
- The three steps you can take right now to start moving forward in a new direction in life.
- The importance of support, whether it's a coach, therapist or other professional.
Find Nicole at postpartumtopowerful.org and on Instagram @postpartumtopowerful
Find Dan on Instagram @cscdanmason
Join the Life Amplified Facecbook Power Tribe! http://facebook.com/groups/lifeamplified
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Episode seventy three from Postpartum Too Powerful with Nicole Openshine.
My name is Dan Mason. I was overweight, getting divorced,
battling depression, and feeling trapped in a career where I
was successful but bored and unfulfilled. And it's actually the
greatest gift I've ever been given. I use my pain
(00:20):
as a springboard to discover my life's purpose. Now I
want to share the same tools and strategies which helped
transform my life with you so you can live life amplify.
I found a great quote from Sunny Dawn Johnston who says,
we all have a story. The differences do you use
your story to empower yourself or do you use your
(00:42):
story to keep yourself a victim? The question itself empowers
you to change your life. And I love that quote,
but I would take it a step further because this podcast,
at the end of the day, is about living your purpose.
And I think the true beauty of being in our
purpose is taking the life lessons, overcoming the struggles that
we've had to endure in our lifetime, and using it
(01:02):
in service of others to add value to other people's lives,
to help other people solve problems. So the other question
I would ask is, once you're using your story to
empower yourself, can you use it to help empower others.
Our guests today is doing that in a huge way,
and I'm so happy to have her on the podcast
and brag about her because she is one of my
(01:22):
graduated clients. Nicole Openshein is a coach, speaker, author, and
founder a Postpartum The powerful and organization to support mothers
and birth parents with postpartum depression and create resources for
the maternal community. As she's going to explain to us today,
after reaching out for help after the birth of her son,
(01:43):
she decided to take what she learned and help other
moms who suffer in similar situations. This is going to
be a really great conversation today, very educational, whether you
are a mother who's experienced p M a d S,
whether you are the partner of somebody who has gone
through it. Nicole is going to talk to us about
the science and research behind postpartum mood and anxiety disorder.
(02:06):
She's gonna tell us how she was able to take
a real life situation after the birth of her son
and turn it into a business that is helping other women.
We're going to discuss today why the self talk in
your head isn't true and what you need to be
able to do to tone down that negative inner critic.
She's gonna tell us how it's okay to reach out
and ask for help and how it's really necessary, especially
(02:29):
when you feel overwhelmed and don't know what it is
you're dealing with. She'll give us three steps you can
take right now to start moving forward in a new
direction in your life, and she's going to talk about
the importance of having support, whether it be a coach, therapist,
or other professional. If you love the podcast and it's
serving you, please screenshot this uploaded to Instagram or Twitter,
(02:50):
be sure to tag us both. You can find the
cole at Postpartumed Powerful and you can find me at
c SC Dan Mason. This is a sup for inspiring
half hour conversation with one of my graduated clients, and
I hope it discovers you to step into your purpose
and serve others. Is we talk with coach and motivational
(03:11):
speaker Nicole Openshine. Nicole, Welcome to life Amplified. Thank you
so so much for having me. This is really a
full circle moment. You know, it's always exciting anytime I
talked to a guest on the podcast, but it's always
really special when it's somebody who was a client who
(03:33):
is done the work and is outspreading their message and
doing big things in the world. So I am so
proud of you and so honored to have you here today.
Thank you. You know, one of the things we're going
to talk about today is your cause. People can find
you on Instagram, Postpartum Too Powerful and postpartum depression. You know.
I tried to do some research before we jumped here
(03:54):
into the interview, and the first thing that jumped out
at me there was a statistic at the National Institute
of Health that said it affects between fifteen and of mothers,
and I did a double take. I've never seen a
spread that big on any clinical research studies. So is
(04:15):
it something that we just haven't really invested the research
of the resources to learn more about when it comes
to postpartum depression or is it just something that's going
really under reported because a lot of women don't like
to talk about it. Yeah, Well, I think that's really
the key is there's so much discrepancy because we know
it affects about one in seven women, but do they
(04:39):
actually seek help? So really, the statistics that I've seen
from Postpartum Support International, which is the organization that I'm
you know, collaborating with in many aspects, it's one in seven,
but realistically it's probably closer to one in five or
even one in three in certain cases because it's also
you know, not just depression, but the whole spectrum of
(05:02):
mood disorders and anxiety disorders. So it really is being
looked at now more closely on all the levels that
moms can be affected. The statistics, yes, there are definitely
ever changing. I've seen one that only fifteen percent get
actual treatment, so uh, that could be you know, really
(05:23):
where that fifteen percent comes in go undiagnosed. It's really
that the statistics are really scary. It's we know it's
the number one complication of pregnancy. It's prevalent in most
moms lives once they have their children, and it can
maybe not happen to you after your first, second, third baby,
(05:43):
but you know that last one, if you go for four,
you can experience it. Um It really doesn't discriminate in
any sense. Right, you can be young old, rich, poor, black, white,
any socio ectionomic class, any color, any religion, any sexual orientation.
It can happen to you. One of the things and
(06:03):
the last thing I want to come across as doing
today is trying to man explain anything to my audience
about something that I'll never experience. So I'm approaching this
is somebody who wants to learn is well. But one
of the things that I've seen and I know from
just female friends who have had children, is it's pretty
typical in those first couple of weeks after giving birth
(06:24):
is the hormones are fluctuating to experience what's known as
baby blues. I've seen that term a lot. What is
the difference between just the regular baby blues after giving
birth versus when we cross over to postpartum depression. How
do we even know what that line is? Anything after
two weeks is not the baby blues. That's really again
(06:47):
what the experts say is the cut off. So you
can have baby blues, and then if it's prolonged far
past those two weeks, then definitely seek help. Additionally, it
could be you could have a great two weeks. I
had an amazing ten days after my birth and all
(07:07):
of a sudden, a switch flipped on day ten, and
you know, that's when my visions and interest of thoughts
and anxiety started happening. But it can happen. They say
the postpartum period is up to one year post birth um,
but I know moms that have had it, you know,
not even start until nine months. You know, there's a
(07:28):
lot of different factors involved, and every situation is different.
The blues, like you said, it's it's very common the blues.
I think almost nine of moms have the blues, and
that like you said, it's the hormones. It's the event
that you just went through, and postpartum moon and anxiety
(07:49):
disorders are well beyond just the blues. You talked about
your experience. You were a first time mom, you have
a beautiful baby boy, and I can only imagine the
excitement of going through that experience. But you also threw
around a couple of interesting words where you were talking
about visions and some other stuff. So can you fill
(08:10):
listen on what your experience was and how tough things
became for you when you were in the thrones of postpartum.
I was diagnosed with what's called the postpartum obsessive compulsive
disorder or o c D, and that is on the
spectrum of postpartum anxiety. Like you said, the spectrum now
of you know, depression and anxiety disorders. And I had
(08:34):
no idea of any of this before it happened to me.
But what was really great about my specific situation is
two things I always mentioned as I spoke up this
second I started feeling likeness, and I had a great
support team. So I had hired DULAS. They are basically emotional,
(08:55):
educational and just like empowering support for you during pregnancy
and for um, they also do some some stuff in postpartum,
like they basically come take care of you if you
don't have that support system. But they played a crucial
role because they are the ones who screened me for
any p M A d S. You know, when what
(09:18):
is that that's a peri and natal mood and anxiety disorder.
So that's the full spectrum, not just postpartum depression, but
anything that that it can occur. So they screened me
about three days before these thoughts and visions started happening,
and I passed with flying colors And that's how quickly
it can come on. But They were a really good resource.
Once I started feeling like feeling this way and having
(09:41):
the anxiety to immediately validate that I wasn't crazy, I
wasn't going to snap, I wasn't going to end up
on the nudes that I hurt my baby, and I
was able to actually be open about what I was
feeling with them because I knew they were on my side.
What happened was my husband ran out for Chinese food
on Friday night and I was just sitting on the
(10:02):
couch and I all of a sudden got this vision
of basically me with a knife and Dylan being stabbed.
Dylan is my son. He was ten days old at
the time, so you can imagine the fear and the
total debilitating anxiety that overtook me when I had that vision,
Like how could I possibly think that. I immediately called
(10:23):
my husband, said I don't care if you have food,
get back here, called my mom, called my dulas, anyone
who could explain to me why I, you know, would
be having this crazy thought, and they persisted. So then
it was Dylan ending up in the wash machine, Dylan
being you know, dropped on his head. Basically any scary
(10:44):
scenario you can think of, was very very real in
my mind. Now I know they're called intrusive thoughts, and
about nine percent of moms experienced them in some form
or another. And it could be as as little as,
you know, just being afraid of, you know, dropping your baby,
or it could be checking on them to make sure
(11:06):
they's breathing while they're sleeping, and it can be as
intense as what I had, where you have visions of
them really being harmed or even harming yourself, and that
what happened with my story is it progressed two visions
of me hurting myself walking into traffic or hanging from
a ceiling fan. It gets really dark, and as a
(11:28):
new mom, you're so overwhelmed in every aspect. This just
adds a whole different level of beer to your life.
Without dwelling on this, first of all, it's amazing that
you have the vulnerability to share this with my listeners,
and I truly thank you for your honesty and being
completely real. You mentioned as part of the visions it
(11:50):
progressed where you were thinking you were having visions of
hurting yourself when you were talking about the visions of
your son being hurt, where those visions it you had
snapped and done it, or just fear that somebody else
had done it. Like what was going on there. It
was kind of a mix because, like I said, I
had various ones um so they started with you know,
(12:12):
like I said, I was holding the knife and I
wouldn't touch knives for three months. I still get nervous
around knives. But it was then, you know, we were
in public and someone would come and snatch him, like
it was really every threat possible. But that was a
huge fear of mine, which was am I going to
snap at any moment and do something to him? Do
(12:34):
something to myself? You know, really, you hear on the
media and on the news all these wild stories, but
you don't hear the reasoning why and what they were
actually diagnosed with. You just hear this uncompassing term of
postpartum depression. Which is why it's really important to talk
about the spectrum. It's because those moms who end up
(12:58):
on the news there in whole different world there experienced
a psychotic episode, and they don't know whether the sky
is blue or red, and they truly believe that what
they're doing is helping or saving themselves or saving their children.
So when you're mom with oth e D that has
(13:19):
these crazy visions, you immediately go to, oh, my gosh,
is that going to be me on the news? And
that's why a lot of moms don't speak up and
say anything. But there's a huge difference between being fearful
and repulsed and anxious about the thoughts and not feeling
like there's anything wrong with them, right, There's a huge,
(13:39):
a huge difference there. So if someone would have just
educated me on the fact that you can have these
thoughts and as long as you're terrified of them, you're
not going to do anything, that could have been really
helpful to know before I had them. But you know
what my doctors and my therapist and my duel has
really helped me was just constantly validating that you're not
(14:03):
going to do anything. We don't think you're a threat
to anyone. But the thoughts just consume you to the
point where and again this is the o c D part,
the obsession of the thoughts and then the compulsions that follow,
is I refuse to be alone, either by myself or
with the baby. For about four months, um I was
(14:24):
always basically being watched because for me, that was how
I could make sure everyone was safe. I can't imagine
going through what you went through. Was there a level
of self judgment that you had for yourself or did
you have the presence of mind with the support that
you had that you could find Obviously you can find
(14:45):
compassion for what you went through now, But when you're
in it, how do you keep your own self talk
and check that I am a good mother, that I
am loving, that I am worthy of having children, that
I am a source of love of how do you?
How do you without just falling down the rabbit hole
of of judging and blaming yourself and making yourself wrong.
(15:09):
I really don't think that it's possible for you to
self talk yourself out of postpartum any kind when you're
in the thick of it. I mean, I will tell
you I had feelings of hopelessness and this is never
going to get better. And my mom she was amazing
and said, you know, no, you will, you will will
figure this out. You know. I had the support of
(15:31):
my husband again, my therapist, and I was resistant to
go on any medication because I had previous experience with
mindfulness practices and meditation and I was certified and breaking
and that all helped me so much during my pregnancy
and even during you know, labor that I was like, well,
(15:52):
why wouldn't it help me in in this facet of motherhood.
But what you experience and the trauma that your body
goes through and the hormones, and I say trauma just
in a very loose sense because of you know the
act of giving birth right there. We obviously know there's
(16:14):
traumatic births and things that are are definitely more severe,
but any birth, whether it's an easy one or not,
can be traumatizing to your body. So after going through that,
you know there's just so much going on within yourself
internally that you need the extra help. You know, you
(16:35):
need that balance to be get back into your own body. Basically,
you need those chemicals that the hormones produced to regulate.
And as much as I'm such an avid meditator and
mindfulness advocate, it was something that I couldn't get through
(16:55):
by myself. And that's a really important factor too for
moms to know, is that you don't have to be
alone in this process. You can you can heal, and
you can get treatment and you can get better as
long as you you know, are open about how you're feeling.
Does previous mental health history inform whether you're more susceptible
(17:18):
to postpartum if you're somebody who had anxiety issues or
depression issues before your pregnancy, does it exasperated during the
pregnancy or postpartum or is there no correlation? There's definitely
risk factors involved. And this was another thing that my
therapist really helped me understand. I'm a pretty type a personality.
(17:41):
I do have a history of anxiety, you know, so
it definitely the signs were on the wall once I started,
you know, actually educating myself about it, and again through
my therapist, she she basically explained why and what happened.
So yeah, I definitely think there's a correlation between history
of mental illness and the susceptibility to having it, you know,
(18:06):
once you have a baby. But that doesn't always mean
it to guarantee. I want to talk about your journey
into taking your experience now and becoming a speaker and
an advocate and a coach for mothers in just a
moment that There's one other thing I wanted to ask you.
A friend and coatworker of mine, his wife gave birth
to their first child. She had been off of her
(18:27):
antidepressants during the pregnancy, and she went into postpartum afterwards.
And I remember him walking into my office saying, having
a baby is the worst thing that's happened to us.
This is going to destroy my marriage, Like he literally
had no coping strategy to deal with her postpartum. For
the partner of somebody who is going through this, what
(18:49):
do they need to know? What are the signs that
they should look for, and how can they just be
a best supportive partner to somebody who is in the
throes of postpartum. So one thing I want to touch
on before I answer that is the fact that she
went off of her antidepressants during pregnancy is a really
big misconception right now. And I learned this because we
(19:12):
are in discussion about trying for a second and you know,
I immediately went to my doctor and said, hey, I'm
doing really well on this medication. I don't want to
have to get off and then have, you know, another baby,
And this happened again, Like what is the what is
the path here? Also, I just went to a conference
(19:33):
with Postpartum Support International where we had about a three
hour discussion on medications for this reason, and most medications
out there are safe to stay on during pregnancy and
obviously right after with postpartum, So again, even myself who's
been in the thick of this now for almost two
years and just learning that, so there really is solutions.
(19:57):
I think, you know, it's just about finding the right medication,
and there are obviously ones that aren't safe, but most
of them nowadays are um which is really promising, so
that you know going into your second, third, fourth pregnancy
that there's options and that you don't have to suffer
because also the effects of your untreated illness on your
(20:23):
new baby or the baby that you're growing can be
even worse than some of the effects of the medication.
But for the spouse and the partner, honestly, just being
aware and understanding that, you know, you guys have to
go through this together because both people in the relationship
can go through a lot of different emotional changes. Once
(20:47):
you know, a baby comes into the world, and it
is something that every situation can be different, you know,
depending on the lifestyle and how the baby is, and
it could definitely turn the world upside down, But just
knowing that it's temporary and once you get through those
first you know, three to six months, things get a
(21:08):
lot easier in terms of taking care of the baby,
in terms of sleeping um, because sleep is huge. And
I would definitely say to any partner if you see
something is not right, just speak up, you know, try
to get help, enlist anyone, any support you can. There
are so many resources that are out there, even if
(21:30):
they're not widely known. Again, Postpartum Support International has a
warmline that you can call and be connected with resources
in your area, and they support families as well, so
it's not just all about the mom. It's you know,
it really does take a village, and there's support for
that village as well, amazing advice, and again just want
(21:52):
to honor you for so beautifully and vulnerably sharing these
parts of yourself. It's interesting because I think suicidal ideation
for just people across the board is so much more
common than we'd like to talk about. You know, I
see it come up with clients a lot. And there's
a lot of people who've reached out to me, who
even listened to the podcast, and they have these thoughts
(22:13):
of you know, driving over the bridge and what would
happen if I just drive my car off the road,
but being able to talk not just about that, which
is uncomfortable enough, but also to share your experience as
a mother and the and the thoughts and the fears
and the visions you're having about your child. Like I said,
that just takes such a tremendous amount of courage. And
I guess that brings me to the next part of this,
(22:34):
which was, at what point did you decide that you
wanted to be a force and a change maker out
in the world raising awareness for this issue and also
being able to coach moms through the experience. As soon
as I recovered knew I wanted to help in some facet.
It kind of came out initially as helping parents being mindful.
(22:58):
I really wanted to one keep myself accountable for all
the practices that I said I was going to teach
my son and that I was going to uphold, you know,
throughout my entire pregnancy. And then you know, the curveball came.
So that's really where it started. And as I did
small workshops and and just started in that, then I
(23:22):
saw there was such a deeper need for the support
of moms. I saw friends of mine that I never
would have thought had experienced a similar story due to
their you know, social media and just never being open
with it. They were actually confiding in me now saying
that it had been years that they have been struggling.
(23:43):
I had only shared parts of my story, definitely not
the super vulnerable part like I can now at that point,
but the conversations just started happening. So after a few
months of doing that and and really just understanding the
greater need for mom support versus, you know, trying to
(24:04):
be these great parents for your kids, I enlisted in
a superb coach if I do think really I really
got clear on how can I really help help moms
instead of just this idea of mindful parenting, because that's
a component of it, but it's definitely not the foundational need.
(24:27):
And even through that, I think most of our time
working together, I had this idea of helping every mom
just feel really empowered, and there was a lot of
insecurity with that because I only have one son and
he was only you know, twelve to eighty months during
the time we were working together, and he was a
relatively amazing baby, So how could I ever empathize with
(24:51):
moms with three or two and you know, not not
great babies in the sense of sleeping and eating and
all the fun stuff that happened. And really, I think
it was a pivotal moment that just said, hey, own
your story and that's where the help can be impactful.
And at that point, my son was about eighteen months old,
(25:13):
so it had been far enough to where I really
I fully recovered in the sense of what I could
recovered and had been trying to help in a long
term fashion. So it was really like, Okay, I'm ready
to share my story and in detail. And when I did,
that's when even more people reached out, even more people
(25:37):
could relate and honored their journeys in that same sense
because I had shared mine. So it was really healing
for me. I think it added a whole different level
of healing that I didn't even know it was possible
for me, and just opened a lot of doors and
a lot of resources and a lot of everything. Um
(25:58):
that has guided me to being able to help other moms,
to be able to sit here and share my story
knowing that it's not uncommon to have. I think I
would be more resistant to sharing if I knew I
was someone who had these thoughts and no one could
(26:19):
understand them. But I feel like most moms can sit
where I'm sitting and tell you very similar things that
they've went through. But that's not known. And that's the
problem is we need to start having this conversation. We
need to bring a light to it because the moms
that do end up on the news that stuff can
be prevented. The moms that do hurt themselves, the moms
(26:42):
that do hurt their babies can be prevented. Because even
if you have something as severe as postpartum psychosis, it
is treatable. You can get better. And that's something that
we need to scream from the rooftop because if, like
you said, partners and spouses and doctors and providers and
(27:03):
and people on the street are educated about these disorders,
then moms won't be afraid to speak up. Moms won't
be afraid to seek help and get better and then
be the best moms for their babies. Two things that
jump out at me about what you're sharing. Number One,
that that's really the hero's journey that we talked about,
(27:26):
overcoming the things in your life that have been an
obstacle and then being of service to other people. Even
for me, I think I felt so unworthy in the
beginning of speaking up because I think my central inner
monologue was, well, who am I to help? Like? Who
am I? I'm just some schmuck that played pop songs
(27:49):
on the radio for fifteen years. Was there any part
of you back in the beginning, when especially we zeroed
in on this idea of serving moms with postpartum and
becoming an advocate and coach, There was there any part
of you that struggled with, well, who am I? I
don't have a mental health degree? Or somehow I'm not enough,
(28:09):
or I'm not healed enough, or I only have one
kid and other moms have three? What got in the
way for you? Mentally? Because I think that there's somebody
out there today who has a gift within them, a
story they want to share, and they haven't brought it
forward because they're telling themselves the same lives that we did.
That definitely was the case that insecurity that inner monologue
(28:31):
prior to finding this path, once I committed to to
sharing my postpartum story, and that that was the I
don't want to say audience, but that was the target
of healing that I wanted to do. I didn't feel
that way anymore, which was amazing, and it was this
moment of clarity. But before that, yes, a hundred percent,
(28:54):
I had a lot of insecurity around well, who am
I to to speak about helping moms? You know, I'm
only a mom of one, And there was a tiny
bit of Okay, should I go back to school and
become a therapist? But I think that we there are
therapists out there, but there's something different in what I
(29:15):
want to share and what I want to do, and
I don't think me being a therapist would really create
the impact and the force of change that I want
to do. But being a survivor and my story as
my credential and and looking through that lens really, just
like I said, was so clear that that was the
(29:37):
role and I do. I'm in the process of getting
some certifications on different healing modalities because again I was
a certified Reeky practitioner during this time. I most recently
got my Reggy Master UM and now I'm doing different
certifications more in the way the mind works. At one point,
(29:58):
it definitely was contemplated it, but I feel like again
and I think my dula actually reminded me of this
that my story is my credential, you know, And that's
what I think you know to your point too, is
that we all have a story and if we can
step in and own it and share it, that's when
the connectedness comes that other people are just like us.
(30:22):
You know, We're all people and we're all going through
the same bullshit in one way or another. But helping
others heal furthers our healing is one of the one
of the big messages that I believe you. You You deepen
your own healing when you're in service of other people,
and that's a big lesson. And the second big thing
(30:43):
that you hit on is everybody's looking for another degree
or certification and you have life cred. You know. I
don't think that there is anything more valuable than having
life experience in life cred and being able to speak
to somebody who is straight up going through it right now,
which you've been doing in an incredible way. So I guess, Nicole,
(31:05):
one of the things I'd like to wrap up with
this week for the person out there who's gone through
some experience, they've survived corporate America, they have overcome postpartum
somehow they're you know that that there's something in their
life that they've figured out and they want to help others,
but they don't feel like they're ready for it. What
(31:25):
would be maybe three action steps you could give somebody
that would get them started, that would help them turn
their message into a movement of their own. One, invest
in yourself right. Don't be afraid to really invest in
doing the inner work. And most of the time we
can't do that alone. We need that guidance from someone
(31:47):
who's been through it. I eat me and you, and
then you know, don't be afraid to just start and
then pivot as you go. It's really important. Like I said,
I started with mindful parenting and I got to this point.
But because I just started doing it, I found that journey.
I wasn't trying to figure it out and then start going, right.
(32:12):
I started going and then I figured it out. And
I think that's what holds a lot of people back
is we're afraid to do because it's not perfect. And
I'll tell you I'm still evolving and I'm still learning,
and I'm still pivoting as I find what is needed
out there more and more in the paternal very natal
mental health field. And then lastly, I would just I
(32:35):
also practice looking at at things through a different lens,
looking at things the way other people look through them
and not the way your childhood conditioning has led you
to look through them. Because once you do that, you
find answers and you find your path that can can
(32:56):
really lead you on on being purposeful and not just
playing small because we're told we could only be as
we were growing up. Amazing. You know, you are a
living example of everything that you just shared with us
with those three action steps. I mean, I think back
to when you and I first connected and you were
terrified to invest in yourself number one. But you did it,
(33:20):
and you stepped up and you did the work and
you got the clarity. And that's one of the big
things I wanted to reinforce from your message is so
many people think that they need to be clear on
what they're doing before they begin, but it's really only
acting with courage that leads people to clarity, which you've done,
and looking in a relatively short amount of time how
(33:41):
far you've come. You are now a panelist and expert
panelist at conventions, You are hosting your own events, you
are coaching clients and you're writing book proposals that you're
sending out. Did any of that feel like it was
something that we that could be on the horizon for
you six months to a year ago. I definitely have
the dreams about it, and you know, tholways like, well
(34:04):
maybe in five years once I figure everything out, you know,
that could happen. But what has happened was, like you said,
within six months now, all these different doors are opening,
and it seems like every time I say yes to
myself and you know, invest a little bit more or
take an action step that you know, maybe I was
(34:25):
a little bit fearful of. As soon as I do that,
doors open and different opportunities come up and people are
introduced in my life that can help me effectuate this change. So,
you know, just say yes to yourself. And that's what
I try to tell all my moms that like it's
really hard for them to like commit to themselves and
(34:47):
do anything for themselves because their new moms, they want
to do everything for their babies. But the second you
say yes to yourself, that's when things start to look better. Nicole,
and amazing conversations day. So proud of you. I always
love bragging about my graduated clients and sharing all the
amazing things that they're doing in the world. So much
(35:08):
love to you and all the best in the future.
People can find you on Instagram at postpartum two Powerful.
Is there any other way that they can reach out
to you. Yeah, so I'm also on Facebook also postpartum
two Powerful, and you can visit my website that has
basically everything I'm involved in and that is postpartum too
powerful dot org. All right, my friend, awesome conversation. Thank
(35:32):
you so much for being here. Thank you. One of
the things that keeps people stuck in the cycle of indecision,
procrastination in action is they often say they don't know
where to begin. And one of the things that I
hope comes through in this interview is that when Nicole
was starting her coaching journey with me, she had her
(35:53):
hand in about three different things, trying to serve mothers.
She didn't really have clarity on who her audience was,
but it was by getting started and just showing up
to serve that she found the answers. You know, remember me,
becoming a career and life change coach wasn't something I
originally set out to do. It was only when I
(36:14):
started writing content for the Huffington's Post and noticed that
the career oriented content I was writing was generating the
most feedback and the most emails that I was able
to get absolutely clear on who it was that I
wanted to serve in my lifetime. So really getting that
support to help you find clarity and just take those small,
(36:34):
grounded action steps, I think it is so so powerful.
And the other point that I wanted to make is
Nicole is proof positive how quickly you can start moving
forward and making an income helping other people. You know.
Nicole and I worked together for three months and in
that time she made more money in twelve weeks as
(36:55):
a coach than she had made the previous twelve months
doing it on her own. So having that coaching and
support in your corner is everything. And if you're looking
for some extra support, this is what I do as
your coaching mentor help you get clear on your purpose,
help you make that transition away from a soul sucking job,
and ultimately bring your purpose to life. You can get
(37:18):
more info on my August v I P coaching programs
by going to my website at Creative Soul coaching dot net.
If you're loving the interview today, please let Nicole and
I know you're listening. You can screenshot the podcast uploaded
to Instagram or Twitter. Nicole can be found at Postpartum
Too Powerful. You can find me at c SC Dan Mason.
(37:39):
While we're talking about people sharing the podcast with their friends,
I want to acknowledge our listener of the week, who
is she Dot shines dot authentically on Instagram. She recently
shared my episode with Stephen love Grow talking about how
to improve your relationship for money. She said, I am
rewriting my relationship with money as we speak. Thank you
(37:59):
so much, Dr love Grove and Dan Mason for the
episode today, and I'm so happy to note that the
podcast is serving you. I would love to shout you out.
You can find me on Instagram. You can always join
the private Facebook community Are Life Amplified Power Tribe on Facebook.
We have a linked to that in the show notes,
or if you want to shout out here on the podcast,
just leave those five star reviews for us up on Apple,
(38:22):
which helps us with the algorithm. As always, it is
my deepest honor and privilege to serve you, and don't
forget turned down the volume on your negativity, turn up
the volume on your purpose so you can live life amplified.
I'll talk to you next week.
Episode seventy three from Postpartum Too Powerful with Nicole Openshine.
My name is Dan Mason. I was overweight, getting divorced,
battling depression, and feeling trapped in a career where I
was successful but bored and unfulfilled. And it's actually the
greatest gift I've ever been given. I use my pain
(00:20):
as a springboard to discover my life's purpose. Now I
want to share the same tools and strategies which helped
transform my life with you so you can live life amplify.
I found a great quote from Sunny Dawn Johnston who says,
we all have a story. The differences do you use
your story to empower yourself or do you use your
(00:42):
story to keep yourself a victim? The question itself empowers
you to change your life. And I love that quote,
but I would take it a step further because this podcast,
at the end of the day, is about living your purpose.
And I think the true beauty of being in our
purpose is taking the life lessons, overcoming the struggles that
we've had to endure in our lifetime, and using it
(01:02):
in service of others to add value to other people's lives,
to help other people solve problems. So the other question
I would ask is, once you're using your story to
empower yourself, can you use it to help empower others.
Our guests today is doing that in a huge way,
and I'm so happy to have her on the podcast
and brag about her because she is one of my
(01:22):
graduated clients. Nicole Openshein is a coach, speaker, author, and
founder a Postpartum The powerful and organization to support mothers
and birth parents with postpartum depression and create resources for
the maternal community. As she's going to explain to us today,
after reaching out for help after the birth of her son,
(01:43):
she decided to take what she learned and help other
moms who suffer in similar situations. This is going to
be a really great conversation today, very educational, whether you
are a mother who's experienced p M a d S,
whether you are the partner of somebody who has gone
through it. Nicole is going to talk to us about
the science and research behind postpartum mood and anxiety disorder.
(02:06):
She's gonna tell us how she was able to take
a real life situation after the birth of her son
and turn it into a business that is helping other women.
We're going to discuss today why the self talk in
your head isn't true and what you need to be
able to do to tone down that negative inner critic.
She's gonna tell us how it's okay to reach out
and ask for help and how it's really necessary, especially
(02:29):
when you feel overwhelmed and don't know what it is
you're dealing with. She'll give us three steps you can
take right now to start moving forward in a new
direction in your life, and she's going to talk about
the importance of having support, whether it be a coach, therapist,
or other professional. If you love the podcast and it's
serving you, please screenshot this uploaded to Instagram or Twitter,
(02:50):
be sure to tag us both. You can find the
cole at Postpartumed Powerful and you can find me at
c SC Dan Mason. This is a sup for inspiring
half hour conversation with one of my graduated clients, and
I hope it discovers you to step into your purpose
and serve others. Is we talk with coach and motivational
(03:11):
speaker Nicole Openshine. Nicole, Welcome to life Amplified. Thank you
so so much for having me. This is really a
full circle moment. You know, it's always exciting anytime I
talked to a guest on the podcast, but it's always
really special when it's somebody who was a client who
(03:33):
is done the work and is outspreading their message and
doing big things in the world. So I am so
proud of you and so honored to have you here today.
Thank you. You know, one of the things we're going
to talk about today is your cause. People can find
you on Instagram, Postpartum Too Powerful and postpartum depression. You know.
I tried to do some research before we jumped here
(03:54):
into the interview, and the first thing that jumped out
at me there was a statistic at the National Institute
of Health that said it affects between fifteen and of mothers,
and I did a double take. I've never seen a
spread that big on any clinical research studies. So is
(04:15):
it something that we just haven't really invested the research
of the resources to learn more about when it comes
to postpartum depression or is it just something that's going
really under reported because a lot of women don't like
to talk about it. Yeah, Well, I think that's really
the key is there's so much discrepancy because we know
it affects about one in seven women, but do they
(04:39):
actually seek help? So really, the statistics that I've seen
from Postpartum Support International, which is the organization that I'm
you know, collaborating with in many aspects, it's one in seven,
but realistically it's probably closer to one in five or
even one in three in certain cases because it's also
you know, not just depression, but the whole spectrum of
(05:02):
mood disorders and anxiety disorders. So it really is being
looked at now more closely on all the levels that
moms can be affected. The statistics, yes, there are definitely
ever changing. I've seen one that only fifteen percent get
actual treatment, so uh, that could be you know, really
(05:23):
where that fifteen percent comes in go undiagnosed. It's really
that the statistics are really scary. It's we know it's
the number one complication of pregnancy. It's prevalent in most
moms lives once they have their children, and it can
maybe not happen to you after your first, second, third baby,
(05:43):
but you know that last one, if you go for four,
you can experience it. Um It really doesn't discriminate in
any sense. Right, you can be young old, rich, poor, black, white,
any socio ectionomic class, any color, any religion, any sexual orientation.
It can happen to you. One of the things and
(06:03):
the last thing I want to come across as doing
today is trying to man explain anything to my audience
about something that I'll never experience. So I'm approaching this
is somebody who wants to learn is well. But one
of the things that I've seen and I know from
just female friends who have had children, is it's pretty
typical in those first couple of weeks after giving birth
(06:24):
is the hormones are fluctuating to experience what's known as
baby blues. I've seen that term a lot. What is
the difference between just the regular baby blues after giving
birth versus when we cross over to postpartum depression. How
do we even know what that line is? Anything after
two weeks is not the baby blues. That's really again
(06:47):
what the experts say is the cut off. So you
can have baby blues, and then if it's prolonged far
past those two weeks, then definitely seek help. Additionally, it
could be you could have a great two weeks. I
had an amazing ten days after my birth and all
(07:07):
of a sudden, a switch flipped on day ten, and
you know, that's when my visions and interest of thoughts
and anxiety started happening. But it can happen. They say
the postpartum period is up to one year post birth um,
but I know moms that have had it, you know,
not even start until nine months. You know, there's a
(07:28):
lot of different factors involved, and every situation is different.
The blues, like you said, it's it's very common the blues.
I think almost nine of moms have the blues, and
that like you said, it's the hormones. It's the event
that you just went through, and postpartum moon and anxiety
(07:49):
disorders are well beyond just the blues. You talked about
your experience. You were a first time mom, you have
a beautiful baby boy, and I can only imagine the
excitement of going through that experience. But you also threw
around a couple of interesting words where you were talking
about visions and some other stuff. So can you fill
(08:10):
listen on what your experience was and how tough things
became for you when you were in the thrones of postpartum.
I was diagnosed with what's called the postpartum obsessive compulsive
disorder or o c D, and that is on the
spectrum of postpartum anxiety. Like you said, the spectrum now
of you know, depression and anxiety disorders. And I had
(08:34):
no idea of any of this before it happened to me.
But what was really great about my specific situation is
two things I always mentioned as I spoke up this
second I started feeling likeness, and I had a great
support team. So I had hired DULAS. They are basically emotional,
(08:55):
educational and just like empowering support for you during pregnancy
and for um, they also do some some stuff in postpartum,
like they basically come take care of you if you
don't have that support system. But they played a crucial
role because they are the ones who screened me for
any p M A d S. You know, when what
(09:18):
is that that's a peri and natal mood and anxiety disorder.
So that's the full spectrum, not just postpartum depression, but
anything that that it can occur. So they screened me
about three days before these thoughts and visions started happening,
and I passed with flying colors And that's how quickly
it can come on. But They were a really good resource.
Once I started feeling like feeling this way and having
(09:41):
the anxiety to immediately validate that I wasn't crazy, I
wasn't going to snap, I wasn't going to end up
on the nudes that I hurt my baby, and I
was able to actually be open about what I was
feeling with them because I knew they were on my side.
What happened was my husband ran out for Chinese food
on Friday night and I was just sitting on the
(10:02):
couch and I all of a sudden got this vision
of basically me with a knife and Dylan being stabbed.
Dylan is my son. He was ten days old at
the time, so you can imagine the fear and the
total debilitating anxiety that overtook me when I had that vision,
Like how could I possibly think that. I immediately called
(10:23):
my husband, said I don't care if you have food,
get back here, called my mom, called my dulas, anyone
who could explain to me why I, you know, would
be having this crazy thought, and they persisted. So then
it was Dylan ending up in the wash machine, Dylan
being you know, dropped on his head. Basically any scary
(10:44):
scenario you can think of, was very very real in
my mind. Now I know they're called intrusive thoughts, and
about nine percent of moms experienced them in some form
or another. And it could be as as little as,
you know, just being afraid of, you know, dropping your baby,
or it could be checking on them to make sure
(11:06):
they's breathing while they're sleeping, and it can be as
intense as what I had, where you have visions of
them really being harmed or even harming yourself, and that
what happened with my story is it progressed two visions
of me hurting myself walking into traffic or hanging from
a ceiling fan. It gets really dark, and as a
(11:28):
new mom, you're so overwhelmed in every aspect. This just
adds a whole different level of beer to your life.
Without dwelling on this, first of all, it's amazing that
you have the vulnerability to share this with my listeners,
and I truly thank you for your honesty and being
completely real. You mentioned as part of the visions it
(11:50):
progressed where you were thinking you were having visions of
hurting yourself when you were talking about the visions of
your son being hurt, where those visions it you had
snapped and done it, or just fear that somebody else
had done it. Like what was going on there. It
was kind of a mix because, like I said, I
had various ones um so they started with you know,
(12:12):
like I said, I was holding the knife and I
wouldn't touch knives for three months. I still get nervous
around knives. But it was then, you know, we were
in public and someone would come and snatch him, like
it was really every threat possible. But that was a
huge fear of mine, which was am I going to
snap at any moment and do something to him? Do
(12:34):
something to myself? You know, really, you hear on the
media and on the news all these wild stories, but
you don't hear the reasoning why and what they were
actually diagnosed with. You just hear this uncompassing term of
postpartum depression. Which is why it's really important to talk
about the spectrum. It's because those moms who end up
(12:58):
on the news there in whole different world there experienced
a psychotic episode, and they don't know whether the sky
is blue or red, and they truly believe that what
they're doing is helping or saving themselves or saving their children.
So when you're mom with oth e D that has
(13:19):
these crazy visions, you immediately go to, oh, my gosh,
is that going to be me on the news? And
that's why a lot of moms don't speak up and
say anything. But there's a huge difference between being fearful
and repulsed and anxious about the thoughts and not feeling
like there's anything wrong with them, right, There's a huge,
(13:39):
a huge difference there. So if someone would have just
educated me on the fact that you can have these
thoughts and as long as you're terrified of them, you're
not going to do anything, that could have been really
helpful to know before I had them. But you know
what my doctors and my therapist and my duel has
really helped me was just constantly validating that you're not
(14:03):
going to do anything. We don't think you're a threat
to anyone. But the thoughts just consume you to the
point where and again this is the o c D part,
the obsession of the thoughts and then the compulsions that follow,
is I refuse to be alone, either by myself or
with the baby. For about four months, um I was
(14:24):
always basically being watched because for me, that was how
I could make sure everyone was safe. I can't imagine
going through what you went through. Was there a level
of self judgment that you had for yourself or did
you have the presence of mind with the support that
you had that you could find Obviously you can find
(14:45):
compassion for what you went through now, But when you're
in it, how do you keep your own self talk
and check that I am a good mother, that I
am loving, that I am worthy of having children, that
I am a source of love of how do you?
How do you without just falling down the rabbit hole
of of judging and blaming yourself and making yourself wrong.
(15:09):
I really don't think that it's possible for you to
self talk yourself out of postpartum any kind when you're
in the thick of it. I mean, I will tell
you I had feelings of hopelessness and this is never
going to get better. And my mom she was amazing
and said, you know, no, you will, you will will
figure this out. You know. I had the support of
(15:31):
my husband again, my therapist, and I was resistant to
go on any medication because I had previous experience with
mindfulness practices and meditation and I was certified and breaking
and that all helped me so much during my pregnancy
and even during you know, labor that I was like, well,
(15:52):
why wouldn't it help me in in this facet of motherhood.
But what you experience and the trauma that your body
goes through and the hormones, and I say trauma just
in a very loose sense because of you know the
act of giving birth right there. We obviously know there's
(16:14):
traumatic births and things that are are definitely more severe,
but any birth, whether it's an easy one or not,
can be traumatizing to your body. So after going through that,
you know there's just so much going on within yourself
internally that you need the extra help. You know, you
(16:35):
need that balance to be get back into your own body. Basically,
you need those chemicals that the hormones produced to regulate.
And as much as I'm such an avid meditator and
mindfulness advocate, it was something that I couldn't get through
(16:55):
by myself. And that's a really important factor too for
moms to know, is that you don't have to be
alone in this process. You can you can heal, and
you can get treatment and you can get better as
long as you you know, are open about how you're feeling.
Does previous mental health history inform whether you're more susceptible
(17:18):
to postpartum if you're somebody who had anxiety issues or
depression issues before your pregnancy, does it exasperated during the
pregnancy or postpartum or is there no correlation? There's definitely
risk factors involved. And this was another thing that my
therapist really helped me understand. I'm a pretty type a personality.
(17:41):
I do have a history of anxiety, you know, so
it definitely the signs were on the wall once I started,
you know, actually educating myself about it, and again through
my therapist, she she basically explained why and what happened.
So yeah, I definitely think there's a correlation between history
of mental illness and the susceptibility to having it, you know,
(18:06):
once you have a baby. But that doesn't always mean
it to guarantee. I want to talk about your journey
into taking your experience now and becoming a speaker and
an advocate and a coach for mothers in just a
moment that There's one other thing I wanted to ask you.
A friend and coatworker of mine, his wife gave birth
to their first child. She had been off of her
(18:27):
antidepressants during the pregnancy, and she went into postpartum afterwards.
And I remember him walking into my office saying, having
a baby is the worst thing that's happened to us.
This is going to destroy my marriage, Like he literally
had no coping strategy to deal with her postpartum. For
the partner of somebody who is going through this, what
(18:49):
do they need to know? What are the signs that
they should look for, and how can they just be
a best supportive partner to somebody who is in the
throes of postpartum. So one thing I want to touch
on before I answer that is the fact that she
went off of her antidepressants during pregnancy is a really
big misconception right now. And I learned this because we
(19:12):
are in discussion about trying for a second and you know,
I immediately went to my doctor and said, hey, I'm
doing really well on this medication. I don't want to
have to get off and then have, you know, another baby,
And this happened again, Like what is the what is
the path here? Also, I just went to a conference
(19:33):
with Postpartum Support International where we had about a three
hour discussion on medications for this reason, and most medications
out there are safe to stay on during pregnancy and
obviously right after with postpartum, So again, even myself who's
been in the thick of this now for almost two
years and just learning that, so there really is solutions.
(19:57):
I think, you know, it's just about finding the right medication,
and there are obviously ones that aren't safe, but most
of them nowadays are um which is really promising, so
that you know going into your second, third, fourth pregnancy
that there's options and that you don't have to suffer
because also the effects of your untreated illness on your
(20:23):
new baby or the baby that you're growing can be
even worse than some of the effects of the medication.
But for the spouse and the partner, honestly, just being
aware and understanding that, you know, you guys have to
go through this together because both people in the relationship
can go through a lot of different emotional changes. Once
(20:47):
you know, a baby comes into the world, and it
is something that every situation can be different, you know,
depending on the lifestyle and how the baby is, and
it could definitely turn the world upside down, But just
knowing that it's temporary and once you get through those
first you know, three to six months, things get a
(21:08):
lot easier in terms of taking care of the baby,
in terms of sleeping um, because sleep is huge. And
I would definitely say to any partner if you see
something is not right, just speak up, you know, try
to get help, enlist anyone, any support you can. There
are so many resources that are out there, even if
(21:30):
they're not widely known. Again, Postpartum Support International has a
warmline that you can call and be connected with resources
in your area, and they support families as well, so
it's not just all about the mom. It's you know,
it really does take a village, and there's support for
that village as well, amazing advice, and again just want
(21:52):
to honor you for so beautifully and vulnerably sharing these
parts of yourself. It's interesting because I think suicidal ideation
for just people across the board is so much more
common than we'd like to talk about. You know, I
see it come up with clients a lot. And there's
a lot of people who've reached out to me, who
even listened to the podcast, and they have these thoughts
(22:13):
of you know, driving over the bridge and what would
happen if I just drive my car off the road,
but being able to talk not just about that, which
is uncomfortable enough, but also to share your experience as
a mother and the and the thoughts and the fears
and the visions you're having about your child. Like I said,
that just takes such a tremendous amount of courage. And
I guess that brings me to the next part of this,
(22:34):
which was, at what point did you decide that you
wanted to be a force and a change maker out
in the world raising awareness for this issue and also
being able to coach moms through the experience. As soon
as I recovered knew I wanted to help in some facet.
It kind of came out initially as helping parents being mindful.
(22:58):
I really wanted to one keep myself accountable for all
the practices that I said I was going to teach
my son and that I was going to uphold, you know,
throughout my entire pregnancy. And then you know, the curveball came.
So that's really where it started. And as I did
small workshops and and just started in that, then I
(23:22):
saw there was such a deeper need for the support
of moms. I saw friends of mine that I never
would have thought had experienced a similar story due to
their you know, social media and just never being open
with it. They were actually confiding in me now saying
that it had been years that they have been struggling.
(23:43):
I had only shared parts of my story, definitely not
the super vulnerable part like I can now at that point,
but the conversations just started happening. So after a few
months of doing that and and really just understanding the
greater need for mom support versus, you know, trying to
(24:04):
be these great parents for your kids, I enlisted in
a superb coach if I do think really I really
got clear on how can I really help help moms
instead of just this idea of mindful parenting, because that's
a component of it, but it's definitely not the foundational need.
(24:27):
And even through that, I think most of our time
working together, I had this idea of helping every mom
just feel really empowered, and there was a lot of
insecurity with that because I only have one son and
he was only you know, twelve to eighty months during
the time we were working together, and he was a
relatively amazing baby, So how could I ever empathize with
(24:51):
moms with three or two and you know, not not
great babies in the sense of sleeping and eating and
all the fun stuff that happened. And really, I think
it was a pivotal moment that just said, hey, own
your story and that's where the help can be impactful.
And at that point, my son was about eighteen months old,
(25:13):
so it had been far enough to where I really
I fully recovered in the sense of what I could
recovered and had been trying to help in a long
term fashion. So it was really like, Okay, I'm ready
to share my story and in detail. And when I did,
that's when even more people reached out, even more people
(25:37):
could relate and honored their journeys in that same sense
because I had shared mine. So it was really healing
for me. I think it added a whole different level
of healing that I didn't even know it was possible
for me, and just opened a lot of doors and
a lot of resources and a lot of everything. Um
(25:58):
that has guided me to being able to help other moms,
to be able to sit here and share my story
knowing that it's not uncommon to have. I think I
would be more resistant to sharing if I knew I
was someone who had these thoughts and no one could
(26:19):
understand them. But I feel like most moms can sit
where I'm sitting and tell you very similar things that
they've went through. But that's not known. And that's the
problem is we need to start having this conversation. We
need to bring a light to it because the moms
that do end up on the news that stuff can
be prevented. The moms that do hurt themselves, the moms
(26:42):
that do hurt their babies can be prevented. Because even
if you have something as severe as postpartum psychosis, it
is treatable. You can get better. And that's something that
we need to scream from the rooftop because if, like
you said, partners and spouses and doctors and providers and
(27:03):
and people on the street are educated about these disorders,
then moms won't be afraid to speak up. Moms won't
be afraid to seek help and get better and then
be the best moms for their babies. Two things that
jump out at me about what you're sharing. Number One,
that that's really the hero's journey that we talked about,
(27:26):
overcoming the things in your life that have been an
obstacle and then being of service to other people. Even
for me, I think I felt so unworthy in the
beginning of speaking up because I think my central inner
monologue was, well, who am I to help? Like? Who
am I? I'm just some schmuck that played pop songs
(27:49):
on the radio for fifteen years. Was there any part
of you back in the beginning, when especially we zeroed
in on this idea of serving moms with postpartum and
becoming an advocate and coach, There was there any part
of you that struggled with, well, who am I? I
don't have a mental health degree? Or somehow I'm not enough,
(28:09):
or I'm not healed enough, or I only have one
kid and other moms have three? What got in the
way for you? Mentally? Because I think that there's somebody
out there today who has a gift within them, a
story they want to share, and they haven't brought it
forward because they're telling themselves the same lives that we did.
That definitely was the case that insecurity that inner monologue
(28:31):
prior to finding this path, once I committed to to
sharing my postpartum story, and that that was the I
don't want to say audience, but that was the target
of healing that I wanted to do. I didn't feel
that way anymore, which was amazing, and it was this
moment of clarity. But before that, yes, a hundred percent,
(28:54):
I had a lot of insecurity around well, who am
I to to speak about helping moms? You know, I'm
only a mom of one, And there was a tiny
bit of Okay, should I go back to school and
become a therapist? But I think that we there are
therapists out there, but there's something different in what I
(29:15):
want to share and what I want to do, and
I don't think me being a therapist would really create
the impact and the force of change that I want
to do. But being a survivor and my story as
my credential and and looking through that lens really, just
like I said, was so clear that that was the
(29:37):
role and I do. I'm in the process of getting
some certifications on different healing modalities because again I was
a certified Reeky practitioner during this time. I most recently
got my Reggy Master UM and now I'm doing different
certifications more in the way the mind works. At one point,
(29:58):
it definitely was contemplated it, but I feel like again
and I think my dula actually reminded me of this
that my story is my credential, you know, And that's
what I think you know to your point too, is
that we all have a story and if we can
step in and own it and share it, that's when
the connectedness comes that other people are just like us.
(30:22):
You know, We're all people and we're all going through
the same bullshit in one way or another. But helping
others heal furthers our healing is one of the one
of the big messages that I believe you. You You deepen
your own healing when you're in service of other people,
and that's a big lesson. And the second big thing
(30:43):
that you hit on is everybody's looking for another degree
or certification and you have life cred. You know. I
don't think that there is anything more valuable than having
life experience in life cred and being able to speak
to somebody who is straight up going through it right now,
which you've been doing in an incredible way. So I guess, Nicole,
(31:05):
one of the things I'd like to wrap up with
this week for the person out there who's gone through
some experience, they've survived corporate America, they have overcome postpartum
somehow they're you know that that there's something in their
life that they've figured out and they want to help others,
but they don't feel like they're ready for it. What
(31:25):
would be maybe three action steps you could give somebody
that would get them started, that would help them turn
their message into a movement of their own. One, invest
in yourself right. Don't be afraid to really invest in
doing the inner work. And most of the time we
can't do that alone. We need that guidance from someone
(31:47):
who's been through it. I eat me and you, and
then you know, don't be afraid to just start and
then pivot as you go. It's really important. Like I said,
I started with mindful parenting and I got to this point.
But because I just started doing it, I found that journey.
I wasn't trying to figure it out and then start going, right.
(32:12):
I started going and then I figured it out. And
I think that's what holds a lot of people back
is we're afraid to do because it's not perfect. And
I'll tell you I'm still evolving and I'm still learning,
and I'm still pivoting as I find what is needed
out there more and more in the paternal very natal
mental health field. And then lastly, I would just I
(32:35):
also practice looking at at things through a different lens,
looking at things the way other people look through them
and not the way your childhood conditioning has led you
to look through them. Because once you do that, you
find answers and you find your path that can can
(32:56):
really lead you on on being purposeful and not just
playing small because we're told we could only be as
we were growing up. Amazing. You know, you are a
living example of everything that you just shared with us
with those three action steps. I mean, I think back
to when you and I first connected and you were
terrified to invest in yourself number one. But you did it,
(33:20):
and you stepped up and you did the work and
you got the clarity. And that's one of the big
things I wanted to reinforce from your message is so
many people think that they need to be clear on
what they're doing before they begin, but it's really only
acting with courage that leads people to clarity, which you've done,
and looking in a relatively short amount of time how
(33:41):
far you've come. You are now a panelist and expert
panelist at conventions, You are hosting your own events, you
are coaching clients and you're writing book proposals that you're
sending out. Did any of that feel like it was
something that we that could be on the horizon for
you six months to a year ago. I definitely have
the dreams about it, and you know, tholways like, well
(34:04):
maybe in five years once I figure everything out, you know,
that could happen. But what has happened was, like you said,
within six months now, all these different doors are opening,
and it seems like every time I say yes to
myself and you know, invest a little bit more or
take an action step that you know, maybe I was
(34:25):
a little bit fearful of. As soon as I do that,
doors open and different opportunities come up and people are
introduced in my life that can help me effectuate this change. So,
you know, just say yes to yourself. And that's what
I try to tell all my moms that like it's
really hard for them to like commit to themselves and
(34:47):
do anything for themselves because their new moms, they want
to do everything for their babies. But the second you
say yes to yourself, that's when things start to look better. Nicole,
and amazing conversations day. So proud of you. I always
love bragging about my graduated clients and sharing all the
amazing things that they're doing in the world. So much
(35:08):
love to you and all the best in the future.
People can find you on Instagram at postpartum two Powerful.
Is there any other way that they can reach out
to you. Yeah, so I'm also on Facebook also postpartum
two Powerful, and you can visit my website that has
basically everything I'm involved in and that is postpartum too
powerful dot org. All right, my friend, awesome conversation. Thank
(35:32):
you so much for being here. Thank you. One of
the things that keeps people stuck in the cycle of indecision,
procrastination in action is they often say they don't know
where to begin. And one of the things that I
hope comes through in this interview is that when Nicole
was starting her coaching journey with me, she had her
(35:53):
hand in about three different things, trying to serve mothers.
She didn't really have clarity on who her audience was,
but it was by getting started and just showing up
to serve that she found the answers. You know, remember me,
becoming a career and life change coach wasn't something I
originally set out to do. It was only when I
(36:14):
started writing content for the Huffington's Post and noticed that
the career oriented content I was writing was generating the
most feedback and the most emails that I was able
to get absolutely clear on who it was that I
wanted to serve in my lifetime. So really getting that
support to help you find clarity and just take those small,
(36:34):
grounded action steps, I think it is so so powerful.
And the other point that I wanted to make is
Nicole is proof positive how quickly you can start moving
forward and making an income helping other people. You know.
Nicole and I worked together for three months and in
that time she made more money in twelve weeks as
(36:55):
a coach than she had made the previous twelve months
doing it on her own. So having that coaching and
support in your corner is everything. And if you're looking
for some extra support, this is what I do as
your coaching mentor help you get clear on your purpose,
help you make that transition away from a soul sucking job,
and ultimately bring your purpose to life. You can get
(37:18):
more info on my August v I P coaching programs
by going to my website at Creative Soul coaching dot net.
If you're loving the interview today, please let Nicole and
I know you're listening. You can screenshot the podcast uploaded
to Instagram or Twitter. Nicole can be found at Postpartum
Too Powerful. You can find me at c SC Dan Mason.
(37:39):
While we're talking about people sharing the podcast with their friends,
I want to acknowledge our listener of the week, who
is she Dot shines dot authentically on Instagram. She recently
shared my episode with Stephen love Grow talking about how
to improve your relationship for money. She said, I am
rewriting my relationship with money as we speak. Thank you
(37:59):
so much, Dr love Grove and Dan Mason for the
episode today, and I'm so happy to note that the
podcast is serving you. I would love to shout you out.
You can find me on Instagram. You can always join
the private Facebook community Are Life Amplified Power Tribe on Facebook.
We have a linked to that in the show notes,
or if you want to shout out here on the podcast,
just leave those five star reviews for us up on Apple,
(38:22):
which helps us with the algorithm. As always, it is
my deepest honor and privilege to serve you, and don't
forget turned down the volume on your negativity, turn up
the volume on your purpose so you can live life amplified.
I'll talk to you next week.
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