March 26, 2019 • 30 mins
This. This is exactly what I've been talking with all of you about; the idea that to change the world, you must only listen to - then act upon - those little whispers in the heart.
That's what Barbara Marlowe did when she saw a newspaper photograph of a little girl who desperately needed help. Their story is in the book "A Brave Face" which I encourage you to pick up and read.
Barbara and Teeba shared their story with me also, and I can not wait for you all to hear what they had to say. It's touching, awe inspiring, and so full of heart and soul, it will make you weep with joy. ~ Delilah
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Hello, my friends, Welcome back, Welcome to today's podcast episode
of Love Someone with Delilah. I am so delighted to
be able to have this extra bit of time with you.
I love taking calls, but I would like to get
a little deeper, to go a little deeper, to talk
(00:27):
a little bit more about specific things or with specific people.
And that is why we have our podcast series Love Someone.
The whole purpose, my whole prayer, my whole reason for
doing this podcast was that I wanted to talk to
people who are changing this world for good. Some of
(00:53):
those people are very famous. If you heard some of
my last few podcasts, I talked to Michael BUBLEI, to
m Tebow, to Josh Grobin. But some people, some of
the podcast are just ordinary people who did extraordinary things.
And that, my friend, is what today's podcast is all about.
(01:15):
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of the home, Pope. Have you ever felt a whisper
in your heart, a voice, a feeling urging you to
do something. Maybe you became overwhelmed by all the what ifs,
the avalanche of details your brain tumbled at you. Today,
(02:22):
I have the privilege of talking with two incredibly brave,
incredibly beautiful, loving women, Barbara Marlowe and Tiba Ferrat Marlowe.
They are the authors of the book A Brave Face,
which was released on March twelve. Their story, as you're
(02:44):
about to hear, is a fabulous testimony to my assertion
that changing the world is a job best done one
heart at a time. This story, Barbara's and Tiba's story,
all started the grainy photograph in a newspaper and a
(03:08):
whisper in Barbara's heart. Tell me the name of the book,
and Barbara, what was birthed in you to write the book. Well,
the name of the book is called A Brave Face
and it is being published by Harper Collins. Loved the title,
loved the picture on the front. Tiba, thank you. And
(03:29):
the impetus for the book actually started many, many years ago.
When Teba first got here. There was an article in
People magazine in their Heroes among Us section, and at
the time, the editor said, you know, this would make
a great book. And so she put together a book proposal,
and she submitted it to an agent in New York
(03:51):
who also said, hey, this is a great book, but
she's only been here one year. What's the rest of
the story. There was no middle, and there was definitely
leno and and so I kind of tabled it and
I put everything away. And over the course of all
these years now, repeatedly me and Tiba would always get
people saying, Oh, this needs to be a book, this
(04:13):
needs to be a movie, You need to write a book.
And this went on and on and on, and I
didn't think much about it until one day I was
cleaning out some papers and I came across that original
book proposal. So I pulled it out and I thought,
you know, maybe I ought to revisit this because I
keep hearing it over and over and over again. So
I contacted the original agent and he said that he
(04:36):
would still be interested in the story. And I had
also contacted a local friend, Jennifer Curran, who is a
writer and who really did a great story about Tib
and I many years ago, and spoke to her about
helping to put this book proposal together. And so she
and I we did it, submitted it, and the agent
in New York loved it because now our story actually
(04:58):
comes full circle, and so there's a lot of emotional
parts in it, and um, the next thing, you know,
here we are, here you are, So Barbara, I go
back to how it all began and and just paint
the picture for me. When you and your hubby were
sitting were you in your living room when you saw
(05:20):
the TV coverage? Actually it was a newspaper article. My
husband was going out to walk our dog and I
picked up the newspaper and there on the cover was
an article about children in a rack that needed multiple
surgeries and they couldn't get them. And keep in mind,
this was in two thousand and six. July six, two
thousand and six specifically, and I was reading the article,
(05:42):
and of course there was photographs, and I was completely
captivated by this one little girl who was four years
old at that time, sitting on her father's lap. And
the article said that this little girl named Tiba, when
she was nineteen months old, Uh, they had struck an
I E. D. Bomb and it had severely burned her face,
her head, and her and her hands and had killed
(06:05):
her little precious three year old brother. And her eyes
were so captivating to me, and I couldn't get him
out of my head. And so I cut the article
out and put it in my pocket, and I said,
you know what, I have to try to do something
to help her. And so the next day I emailed
the correspondent and Bagdad and asked him, I just want
(06:27):
to I just want to interject here and ask where
were you, Barbara in life at that time? You were married, married. Uh,
my husband has three grown children, so they were off
and getting married and doing their own thing. They were
starting their lives, and it was just my husband and
I and I had no previous children of my own. Okay,
(06:48):
So July six, two thousand and six, you see a
little picture, how big was this photograph. Oh, the picture
of her was maybe I don't know, three by three
at the most, okay, and something connected your eyes saw
that picture of her eyes, and something connected, and you
decided that God was calling you to make a difference. Oh,
(07:11):
I knew it. I knew it momentarily. And this is
gonna sound very weird, um And sometimes you read about
this happening to other people, but I really genuinely felt
like the room had blacked out and all I could
focus on was Tiba and those eyes. And I really
felt that we had a connection in that picture. And
(07:31):
at that moment, it was just one of those heart moments.
You know, you just know this is what you're meant
to do. And I never looked back, and I never
even thought about what it was going to take to
make it happen. But we just kept going forward and
never stopped. So you see the picture, a little girl
(07:52):
burned over, you know, most of her body. What was
the first step that you took? Because she was an
I rack. I mean, it's not like you can just
pack your bags and go on vacation to Iraq and
and look up this little girl and say, you know,
you're very God aunt is here and I want to
help you. Right well, I will say one thing though
her her body was fine, it was just her face,
(08:14):
her head in her hands. And I contacted I emailed
the correspondent bagg dad, and I said, you know, if
I can get her the help she needs, would you
talk to the family because in the article itself it
talked about her wanting to have a wig before she
went to school, and her dad did say in the
article he wanted to get her other help. And so
(08:38):
the correspondent, of course, was surprised that I had even
emailed him about it, because he had told Tiba's father
when they did the original interview, don't expect anything, anything
short of a miracle to have anybody tried to reach out,
and so he was very surprised when I call, and
I probably think he thought, well, maybe I was just,
(08:58):
you know, trying to do something but wouldn't follow through.
But I did, and I contacted all the people at
Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital in Cleveland, and they had
agreed that they would evaluate her. They couldn't commit to
anything because I needed to see her. They were just
looking at this photograph that I presented to them. Girlfriend,
you are bold. I love your faith, I love your boldness. Gone. Yeah,
(09:23):
I was very bold. I was bold, and I don't
want to say demanding, but I was so self assured
that this was going to happen. I just had no
doubt in my mind and in my heart specifically. And
there were little signs of things that came along the way,
and if I may share a couple of those with
you as we tell our story, but one of them
was about six months in trying to get her here.
(09:45):
It was so difficult trying to navigate through this political quagmire,
and I kept thinking that nobody would say no to me,
because who's going to resist helping her? Look at this
little face, right, And so then I um, about six
months into it, I'm still ending in my driveway and
I am screaming at God. I'm blaming him for everything,
and why aren't you helping me? And what good are you?
(10:05):
And I'm just ranting like a crazy person. And then
as I turned to come back in the house, I
looked out and at my feet in the driveway is
a golf ball marker. And I picked it up, and Delilah,
when I turned it over, it said God loves you.
And at that moment I knew, I mean, you just know,
the hair stood up on my neck and on my arms,
(10:26):
and I started to cry, and I just knew everything
was going to be okay. And shortly thereafter there were
certain pieces of the puzzle that fell into place, and
they're all explained in the book. And the next thing,
you know, I after a few more months and putting
a few more puzzle pieces together, I get this phone
call and they say, well, when do you want her?
(10:49):
And I just dropped to my knees and I just sobbed.
Oh my gosh, so did you keep that little um,
that little golf ball marker? And it's a price possession.
But the odd thing is that in my head when
they said, well when do you want her, I'm like
ticking off dates in my head and I'm thinking, Okay,
we can't do the fourth of July because I don't
(11:10):
want her to come here and hear fireworks and be
afraid and bombs and all, you know, all just sorts
of loud noises. So we picked a date and I
didn't think anything about the date that we picked until
probably about two years later, when it finally hit me
that the day we picked was July six, two thousand seven,
and she arrived exactly one year to the day that
(11:30):
I read about her. I love that, love that, love that.
So this little girl shows up, she's five now, and
what hospital had agreed to UM see her. It's University Hospitals,
Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital. So t But do you
remember those first days when you first came to the
(11:51):
US from Iraq? Yeah, I do remember it. Um. I
remember kind of looking around thinking, oh, my goodness, this
is crazy. My grandma, my dad's mother, came with me.
She accompanied me on the trip um because she didn't
want my mother to go since she was young and
she didn't want her to travel alone with me. So
(12:12):
my grandmother came with me. And we had spent a
few like six months in Jordan's prior to coming to America.
Then we landed in Cleveland, Ohio, and stayed with the Marlow's,
who I now call mom and Dad. We stayed with
them for a few nights and then slept at Ronald
McDonald house for a while, and then I went back
(12:34):
to the Marlow's house. Barbara, did you guys know at
that time how long the process would be? Oh? Not
at all. I believe that if you are confronted with
the situation, sometimes if you look at the big picture
and the magnitude of it, you won't take that first step.
I'm so inspired talking with Barbara and her daughter Tiba today.
(12:57):
Teba has grown from a little girl so badly wounded,
so badly burned, who needed help, to a young woman
who helps others. And the bond between this mother and daughter,
the love between these women and Tiba's family, her biological
(13:18):
family has grown to include so many people, communities, worlds apart.
Thank you for joining me today, ladies and sharing your
beautiful story. Yeah. When I was like five or just
um getting ready to make the journey, I was told
(13:39):
I was going to America for just a few short
months because that's what my parents figured the surgeries would take.
And when we got here, Dr cos Sain set us
straight right away saying, oh no, this is going to
take several several procedures and many years for recovery as well.
So yeah, none of us were expecting it to be
(14:01):
that long of a process. So going from that environment
and that atmosphere and that culture and the food and
your family and your mom and dad to coming home
to the Marlow's. What was that like for your little
five year old heart. Um, well, I definitely didn't understand
the circumstances I was in. I was kind of just,
(14:24):
you know, doing whatever my grandma told me, so I
would just hold her hand and we'd walk through everything.
But I remember walking into Marlow household and just my
jaw dropped because I was like, what is this marble floor?
This is crazy? And I remember the refrigerators and I
know I was so scared to flush the toilets, and
it was just a completely new world for me. And
(14:48):
being five years old, it wasn't very hard for me
to assimilate into that lifestyle because you know, it was
interesting and fun and I was I was ready to
participate in that. But for someone like my grandma, who
was uch older and way more set in her ways,
it was evident that she was just like uncomfortable the
whole time because it was it was nothing like she
was used to. And you can't even blame her for that,
(15:10):
because she knew what she knew, and when it was
time for her to go back, it was time, you know,
because she was just so out of place here and
that that had to be so stressful to want the
best for you and want to be your guide and
help you navigate that, and yet being completely out of
your element like a fish out of water, not being
(15:33):
able to breathe, but wanting the best for you, and
not speaking and not speaking the language either. So, Barbara,
how long into the relationship with Tiba and her grandma
do you think she developed in us enough trust in
you and your husband that she was able to let
go of Tiba's hand and put her hand in yours, Like,
(15:54):
was there a moment, was there a defining situation or
something that happened where Grandma's soul was at peace knowing
that she could trust you. I do recall that she
was having a conversation with her son, Tiba's father, and
the situation and Iraq was pretty dire, and she was
very afraid of what was going on with her family,
(16:16):
and in particular, she was trying to reach one son
and she could never reach him. And her father said,
at that point, you know, leave leave Teba and come home.
She's safe, she's with the Marlowe's. It's all good. And
maybe it was at that point. So, Barbara, how long
was Tiba in your household before you finally realize that
(16:36):
she's going to be here for a while. It was
actually after that first doctor's appointment when he said years
and years and years, and that's when her grandmother had
that look up shock on her face and said, I
can't stay here, I have to go. But um, the
minute Tiba was in our home, our home changed. It
was like a home before it was just my husband
(16:58):
and I and we came and did whatever, and it
was different. And Tiba brought something into my life in
particular that I never had before, and that was the
opportunity to mother her and to take care of her.
And I just, I mean, I fell in love with
that photograph before I ever met her. I fell in
love with her before I ever met her, and it
(17:19):
was just meant to be. And I remember her grandmother
left and she's laying in bed, and keep in mind,
this is a five year old who was just learning English,
and she says to me in broken English, you know, mom,
how come you never had any kids? And she says, well,
my brother and your mother sent me to you to
be your daughter. And I had, I mean I stared
(17:40):
at her for a minute and that I had, that
had to really resonate in me because I couldn't imagine
what she was saying. And then I realized that her
the accident was in two thousand three, and my mother
died in two thousand three, so her brother died also
of course then, and she's telling me that the two
of them in heaven are sending her to me to
(18:00):
be my daughter. And I just broke down because you
start to like doubt yourself that you're looking into things
that aren't there, but yet they are there, and you
go round and round with with your faith. And one
day Tiba was playing with these dolls, and everybody would
bring her a doll, and she started to name them all.
And one day she names them all Sarah and Anna,
(18:23):
and I said, you know, how do you know those names, honey,
where did you get those names? I don't know. I
just like them. So I get this picture and I said, honey,
these are my grandmother's Their names are Sarah and Anna,
and I was closer to them than my parents. And
yet those are the only two names that she picks
out of the sky to name all of her dolls.
(18:45):
All along the way, it sounds like God was giving
you very clear signs Oh yeah, I'm very very clear,
and her mother got some very clear signs too. So um,
when we were able to, over the years have conversations
about it, it was amazing how so many of the
things that happened on her end inter wreck and that
happened to me here were parallel. Hardest thing to give up, Barbara,
(19:08):
when you became a mom to Teba, what was the
hardest thing for you to transition going from the life
that you knew before, Like you said, your house was
a house, to it becoming a home with this precious
little girl. Well, I was fifty two years old when
(19:29):
Teba came, and so you would imagine that by then
I'd be pretty set in my ways. But I have
to tell you there wasn't anything that I had a
hard time giving up. There wasn't anything that mattered more
than her. And I mean I mean, if I had
to like dig super super deep, I mean, yeah, maybe
(19:50):
the ability to come and go freely wasn't there anymore,
But that wasn't even a big deal because I really
would have rather spent time with her than anybody else.
You know. I tell her that of this day, I'd
rather be with her than with anyone. I kind of
set you up for that because i work with um
kids in foster care and I'm always trying to encourage
(20:10):
people to consider building a family through adopting kids out
of foster care. And they come back with I can
I'm forty, I'm forty five years old, I can't start now,
And you just said the truth. The reality is it's
a joy to make that sacrifice. You know, with Tiba,
why would you want to miss on an opportunity to
(20:31):
have someone like her in your life just because you
think you're too old or you think you can't because
they bring so much more to you. So, Tiba, you
hear your mama bragging about you like this, how does
that make you feel in your heart? To know that
you have that kind of unconditional love behind you. It
(20:54):
puts a smile on my face. And when I hear
my mom Barbara say these things, I know also my
mom back home is saying the same things because both
my mother's they're very connected and they both show me
so much unconditional love and it's something I'm I'll forever
be grateful for because I know there are so many
kids in this world that don't even have one mom
(21:16):
and my heart breaks for them. But also I'm just
counting my blessings because I got two moms that brag
about me all the time, and it gets annoying sometimes,
but I just because they love me. So annoying to
know that they see all the good and all the
value in me. Because you're not just uh, you're not
(21:36):
a typical young woman. You're very ambitious, You're very well spoken.
You do speaking engagements, and you have used uh your
challenges to motivate other young people. What are share with
our listeners some of the cool things Tiba that you've done.
I mean, besides helping to write a book that I
think is going to be a best seller. Yeah, so
(21:57):
I did hope my mom write that book, but it's
mostly her her book. Um, I've done, like you said,
many speaking engagements for fundraisers or for just um public
events that I've helped my mom out with. And um,
I speak to encourage well. My goal is to encourage
(22:20):
the children who are in situations that I know all
too well. And so I'll speak for hospitals and whatever,
and I get to tell the children, Hey, I know
it's hard, but I beg you to hold on and
I've also I'm a youth Youth Ambassador for the Iraqi
Children Foundation, so my mom's part of that organization as well.
(22:44):
But it helps these displaced children um in in Iraq
that don't really have anywhere to go, don't have an education,
and don't have any um legal help. So we've been
able to speak behalf of them and help them. You know,
one of the reasons I wanted to do a podcast
(23:06):
in addition to my regular show is because I believe
that everybody Barbara has that thing in their heart, regardless
of where you live or what your faith is, there
is something in our heart that wants to make the
world a better place, a kinder place. But a lot
(23:26):
of people are afraid to step out on faith and
take that first step. A lot of people think I
could never do this. And you looked at a picture
in a newspaper and found the strength and the courage
you and your your family to move forward confidently. Like
you said, who could turn that that beautiful face down
(23:48):
to to be proactive? What would you say to a
person who's listening to this podcast right now, who might
have a passion for children, for displaced children, for animals,
for our environment. What would you say to them when
that voice pops up in their heads and says, so
you could you You could never do that? What do
(24:09):
you say to them? I think that you don't have
to maybe go across the country like I did, and
this was my calling, Um, you could do something in
your own community. Like I said, don't look at the
big picture, look at what you can do immediately, and
then it's not so overwhelming. But you can do it.
(24:29):
And it doesn't always mean um, because we are not
people of means by any stretch. So it doesn't mean
that you have to have lots of money, but it's
a gift of time and effort and holding somebody's hand
and just being a voice for them or a voice
for them that they can listen to. T But when
you were younger, and you would look in the mirror
(24:52):
and see, you know, what had happened because of the
the I E ed and the burns. Did you ever
imagine that you would be the face that encourages so
many other young people. No? I was actually looking in
the mirror and saying, twenty years from now, hopefully my
(25:14):
scars will go away. And as I've gotten older, I
realized that's just not something that's going to happen. It
will never happen. But I've also come to realize that's
not necessarily a bad thing, because, like you said, I
can provide that solace and that help for other children
and that encouragement that they need. So if I have
to um be burdened, I guess with these scars, then okay,
(25:39):
because at least it's benefiting other people. So it's okay
if twenty years from now they're not disappearing. How many
surgeries have you faced, Eva? Nineteen surgeries. Wow, she's so
different now than when she had that first accident with
some of these scars. You know, I've always told her
nobody's per I mean, so many of us as we
(26:01):
get older, you have more ugly, hairy, dark spots, spotchy, wrinkles,
whatever that comes out. And nobody's perfect. And that her
scars speak volumes is to her, to me, to her
character and the type of person that she is, and
she should hold her head up high. So the book
is called A Brave Face, and Tiba, your beautiful face
(26:23):
is on the cover and I had to blow the
picture up to wrap my head around the fact that
you were once terribly disfigured because the face that I
see is so beautiful and the same eyes that captured
your mama's heart, Barbara's heart. Man, those eyes are gorgeous, girlfriend,
(26:48):
they go all the way to your soul. Thank you?
All right? So, if somebody wants to get involved, plug
into the Iraqi Children's Foundation, how do they do that? Well,
the best thing is the five ks this summer and
they could be part of Team Tiba. And if you
just go to Iraqi children dot org or just google
(27:09):
the Iraqi Children's Foundation, it'll come up. And if they
want to be part of Team Tiba, we welcome everyone.
And if they can't get to where that five K is,
how could could they organize one in their school? They could,
They could organize anything and all that money could go
towards UM Team Tiba, or they can just make a
(27:30):
donation and UM we would list them as a participant
as part of Tiba's Team Tiba. What do you hope
that you are able to do for other young people?
I hope I am able to provide that encouragement and
be that voice that's saying, hey, you can do this.
(27:53):
You don't have to listen to that other voice saying
you can't because there's nothing stopping you. And my mom
has definitely me shown that. And I also hope, especially
for young girls, UM, that when they look into the mirror,
they're not saying twenty years from now, I want my
flaws to disappear. I hope I can um make these
girls realize nothing needs to change and that they're beautiful regardless.
(28:18):
And although that's something I'm still learning, I'm very grateful
for the experiences that have led me to being able
to cope with that and say, hey, it's okay, all right,
thank you for spending this time with me. You are
both lovely. Thank you. Pray that many people pick up
a brave face, and I pray that God just continues
(28:38):
to open doors and use you both to impact the
world for good. Okay, that's our goal, that's our mission.
Thank you, Thank you. Barbara Marlowe had no special skills,
no knowledge about Iraq, about I E. D. S. She
had never parented children. She wasn't a mom, she didn't
(28:59):
have any medical knowledge. She didn't know how to raise children,
especially children who were disabled or wounded. But she fell
into the eyes of a wounded little Iraqi girl photographed
setting in her father's lap. The fact that she didn't
(29:20):
have any skills, any knowledge, any information, any political clout
did not stop her from deciding that she was going
to try to do something to help Tiba. That July
day she read about her in the newspaper. She did
help her, and in doing so, discovered so much about herself,
(29:44):
such as her own tenacity when faced with insurmountable obstacles,
her ability to navigate complicated situations, and her capacity for loving.
I'm so very inspired by their story told in their
book A Bray Face, released by HarperCollins on March twelve.
I know you will be to please pick up a
(30:07):
copy today. I'm grateful that they shared their story and
their time with us. Grateful too for my sponsor, the
Home Depot, who made all of this possible. I hope
today's episode of Love Someone inspired you, encouraged you to
follow the whisper in your heart. Tell your friends about
(30:32):
my podcast series Love Someone with Delilah and subscribe on
your favorite podcast platform, and I will talk to you
again real soon
Hello, my friends, Welcome back, Welcome to today's podcast episode
of Love Someone with Delilah. I am so delighted to
be able to have this extra bit of time with you.
I love taking calls, but I would like to get
a little deeper, to go a little deeper, to talk
(00:27):
a little bit more about specific things or with specific people.
And that is why we have our podcast series Love Someone.
The whole purpose, my whole prayer, my whole reason for
doing this podcast was that I wanted to talk to
people who are changing this world for good. Some of
(00:53):
those people are very famous. If you heard some of
my last few podcasts, I talked to Michael BUBLEI, to
m Tebow, to Josh Grobin. But some people, some of
the podcast are just ordinary people who did extraordinary things.
And that, my friend, is what today's podcast is all about.
(01:15):
This conversation is sponsored by the Home Depot. They're so
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(01:59):
of the home, Pope. Have you ever felt a whisper
in your heart, a voice, a feeling urging you to
do something. Maybe you became overwhelmed by all the what ifs,
the avalanche of details your brain tumbled at you. Today,
(02:22):
I have the privilege of talking with two incredibly brave,
incredibly beautiful, loving women, Barbara Marlowe and Tiba Ferrat Marlowe.
They are the authors of the book A Brave Face,
which was released on March twelve. Their story, as you're
(02:44):
about to hear, is a fabulous testimony to my assertion
that changing the world is a job best done one
heart at a time. This story, Barbara's and Tiba's story,
all started the grainy photograph in a newspaper and a
(03:08):
whisper in Barbara's heart. Tell me the name of the book,
and Barbara, what was birthed in you to write the book. Well,
the name of the book is called A Brave Face
and it is being published by Harper Collins. Loved the title,
loved the picture on the front. Tiba, thank you. And
(03:29):
the impetus for the book actually started many, many years ago.
When Teba first got here. There was an article in
People magazine in their Heroes among Us section, and at
the time, the editor said, you know, this would make
a great book. And so she put together a book proposal,
and she submitted it to an agent in New York
(03:51):
who also said, hey, this is a great book, but
she's only been here one year. What's the rest of
the story. There was no middle, and there was definitely
leno and and so I kind of tabled it and
I put everything away. And over the course of all
these years now, repeatedly me and Tiba would always get
people saying, Oh, this needs to be a book, this
(04:13):
needs to be a movie, You need to write a book.
And this went on and on and on, and I
didn't think much about it until one day I was
cleaning out some papers and I came across that original
book proposal. So I pulled it out and I thought,
you know, maybe I ought to revisit this because I
keep hearing it over and over and over again. So
I contacted the original agent and he said that he
(04:36):
would still be interested in the story. And I had
also contacted a local friend, Jennifer Curran, who is a
writer and who really did a great story about Tib
and I many years ago, and spoke to her about
helping to put this book proposal together. And so she
and I we did it, submitted it, and the agent
in New York loved it because now our story actually
(04:58):
comes full circle, and so there's a lot of emotional
parts in it, and um, the next thing, you know,
here we are, here you are, So Barbara, I go
back to how it all began and and just paint
the picture for me. When you and your hubby were
sitting were you in your living room when you saw
(05:20):
the TV coverage? Actually it was a newspaper article. My
husband was going out to walk our dog and I
picked up the newspaper and there on the cover was
an article about children in a rack that needed multiple
surgeries and they couldn't get them. And keep in mind,
this was in two thousand and six. July six, two
thousand and six specifically, and I was reading the article,
(05:42):
and of course there was photographs, and I was completely
captivated by this one little girl who was four years
old at that time, sitting on her father's lap. And
the article said that this little girl named Tiba, when
she was nineteen months old, Uh, they had struck an
I E. D. Bomb and it had severely burned her face,
her head, and her and her hands and had killed
(06:05):
her little precious three year old brother. And her eyes
were so captivating to me, and I couldn't get him
out of my head. And so I cut the article
out and put it in my pocket, and I said,
you know what, I have to try to do something
to help her. And so the next day I emailed
the correspondent and Bagdad and asked him, I just want
(06:27):
to I just want to interject here and ask where
were you, Barbara in life at that time? You were married, married. Uh,
my husband has three grown children, so they were off
and getting married and doing their own thing. They were
starting their lives, and it was just my husband and
I and I had no previous children of my own. Okay,
(06:48):
So July six, two thousand and six, you see a
little picture, how big was this photograph. Oh, the picture
of her was maybe I don't know, three by three
at the most, okay, and something connected your eyes saw
that picture of her eyes, and something connected, and you
decided that God was calling you to make a difference. Oh,
(07:11):
I knew it. I knew it momentarily. And this is
gonna sound very weird, um And sometimes you read about
this happening to other people, but I really genuinely felt
like the room had blacked out and all I could
focus on was Tiba and those eyes. And I really
felt that we had a connection in that picture. And
(07:31):
at that moment, it was just one of those heart moments.
You know, you just know this is what you're meant
to do. And I never looked back, and I never
even thought about what it was going to take to
make it happen. But we just kept going forward and
never stopped. So you see the picture, a little girl
(07:52):
burned over, you know, most of her body. What was
the first step that you took? Because she was an
I rack. I mean, it's not like you can just
pack your bags and go on vacation to Iraq and
and look up this little girl and say, you know,
you're very God aunt is here and I want to
help you. Right well, I will say one thing though
her her body was fine, it was just her face,
(08:14):
her head in her hands. And I contacted I emailed
the correspondent bagg dad, and I said, you know, if
I can get her the help she needs, would you
talk to the family because in the article itself it
talked about her wanting to have a wig before she
went to school, and her dad did say in the
article he wanted to get her other help. And so
(08:38):
the correspondent, of course, was surprised that I had even
emailed him about it, because he had told Tiba's father
when they did the original interview, don't expect anything, anything
short of a miracle to have anybody tried to reach out,
and so he was very surprised when I call, and
I probably think he thought, well, maybe I was just,
(08:58):
you know, trying to do something but wouldn't follow through.
But I did, and I contacted all the people at
Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital in Cleveland, and they had
agreed that they would evaluate her. They couldn't commit to
anything because I needed to see her. They were just
looking at this photograph that I presented to them. Girlfriend,
you are bold. I love your faith, I love your boldness. Gone. Yeah,
(09:23):
I was very bold. I was bold, and I don't
want to say demanding, but I was so self assured
that this was going to happen. I just had no
doubt in my mind and in my heart specifically. And
there were little signs of things that came along the way,
and if I may share a couple of those with
you as we tell our story, but one of them
was about six months in trying to get her here.
(09:45):
It was so difficult trying to navigate through this political quagmire,
and I kept thinking that nobody would say no to me,
because who's going to resist helping her? Look at this
little face, right, And so then I um, about six
months into it, I'm still ending in my driveway and
I am screaming at God. I'm blaming him for everything,
and why aren't you helping me? And what good are you?
(10:05):
And I'm just ranting like a crazy person. And then
as I turned to come back in the house, I
looked out and at my feet in the driveway is
a golf ball marker. And I picked it up, and Delilah,
when I turned it over, it said God loves you.
And at that moment I knew, I mean, you just know,
the hair stood up on my neck and on my arms,
(10:26):
and I started to cry, and I just knew everything
was going to be okay. And shortly thereafter there were
certain pieces of the puzzle that fell into place, and
they're all explained in the book. And the next thing,
you know, I after a few more months and putting
a few more puzzle pieces together, I get this phone
call and they say, well, when do you want her?
(10:49):
And I just dropped to my knees and I just sobbed.
Oh my gosh, so did you keep that little um,
that little golf ball marker? And it's a price possession.
But the odd thing is that in my head when
they said, well when do you want her, I'm like
ticking off dates in my head and I'm thinking, Okay,
we can't do the fourth of July because I don't
(11:10):
want her to come here and hear fireworks and be
afraid and bombs and all, you know, all just sorts
of loud noises. So we picked a date and I
didn't think anything about the date that we picked until
probably about two years later, when it finally hit me
that the day we picked was July six, two thousand seven,
and she arrived exactly one year to the day that
(11:30):
I read about her. I love that, love that, love that.
So this little girl shows up, she's five now, and
what hospital had agreed to UM see her. It's University Hospitals,
Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital. So t But do you
remember those first days when you first came to the
(11:51):
US from Iraq? Yeah, I do remember it. Um. I
remember kind of looking around thinking, oh, my goodness, this
is crazy. My grandma, my dad's mother, came with me.
She accompanied me on the trip um because she didn't
want my mother to go since she was young and
she didn't want her to travel alone with me. So
(12:12):
my grandmother came with me. And we had spent a
few like six months in Jordan's prior to coming to America.
Then we landed in Cleveland, Ohio, and stayed with the Marlow's,
who I now call mom and Dad. We stayed with
them for a few nights and then slept at Ronald
McDonald house for a while, and then I went back
(12:34):
to the Marlow's house. Barbara, did you guys know at
that time how long the process would be? Oh? Not
at all. I believe that if you are confronted with
the situation, sometimes if you look at the big picture
and the magnitude of it, you won't take that first step.
I'm so inspired talking with Barbara and her daughter Tiba today.
(12:57):
Teba has grown from a little girl so badly wounded,
so badly burned, who needed help, to a young woman
who helps others. And the bond between this mother and daughter,
the love between these women and Tiba's family, her biological
(13:18):
family has grown to include so many people, communities, worlds apart.
Thank you for joining me today, ladies and sharing your
beautiful story. Yeah. When I was like five or just
um getting ready to make the journey, I was told
(13:39):
I was going to America for just a few short
months because that's what my parents figured the surgeries would take.
And when we got here, Dr cos Sain set us
straight right away saying, oh no, this is going to
take several several procedures and many years for recovery as well.
So yeah, none of us were expecting it to be
(14:01):
that long of a process. So going from that environment
and that atmosphere and that culture and the food and
your family and your mom and dad to coming home
to the Marlow's. What was that like for your little
five year old heart. Um, well, I definitely didn't understand
the circumstances I was in. I was kind of just,
(14:24):
you know, doing whatever my grandma told me, so I
would just hold her hand and we'd walk through everything.
But I remember walking into Marlow household and just my
jaw dropped because I was like, what is this marble floor?
This is crazy? And I remember the refrigerators and I
know I was so scared to flush the toilets, and
it was just a completely new world for me. And
(14:48):
being five years old, it wasn't very hard for me
to assimilate into that lifestyle because you know, it was
interesting and fun and I was I was ready to
participate in that. But for someone like my grandma, who
was uch older and way more set in her ways,
it was evident that she was just like uncomfortable the
whole time because it was it was nothing like she
was used to. And you can't even blame her for that,
(15:10):
because she knew what she knew, and when it was
time for her to go back, it was time, you know,
because she was just so out of place here and
that that had to be so stressful to want the
best for you and want to be your guide and
help you navigate that, and yet being completely out of
your element like a fish out of water, not being
(15:33):
able to breathe, but wanting the best for you, and
not speaking and not speaking the language either. So, Barbara,
how long into the relationship with Tiba and her grandma
do you think she developed in us enough trust in
you and your husband that she was able to let
go of Tiba's hand and put her hand in yours, Like,
(15:54):
was there a moment, was there a defining situation or
something that happened where Grandma's soul was at peace knowing
that she could trust you. I do recall that she
was having a conversation with her son, Tiba's father, and
the situation and Iraq was pretty dire, and she was
very afraid of what was going on with her family,
(16:16):
and in particular, she was trying to reach one son
and she could never reach him. And her father said,
at that point, you know, leave leave Teba and come home.
She's safe, she's with the Marlowe's. It's all good. And
maybe it was at that point. So, Barbara, how long
was Tiba in your household before you finally realize that
(16:36):
she's going to be here for a while. It was
actually after that first doctor's appointment when he said years
and years and years, and that's when her grandmother had
that look up shock on her face and said, I
can't stay here, I have to go. But um, the
minute Tiba was in our home, our home changed. It
was like a home before it was just my husband
(16:58):
and I and we came and did whatever, and it
was different. And Tiba brought something into my life in
particular that I never had before, and that was the
opportunity to mother her and to take care of her.
And I just, I mean, I fell in love with
that photograph before I ever met her. I fell in
love with her before I ever met her, and it
(17:19):
was just meant to be. And I remember her grandmother
left and she's laying in bed, and keep in mind,
this is a five year old who was just learning English,
and she says to me in broken English, you know, mom,
how come you never had any kids? And she says, well,
my brother and your mother sent me to you to
be your daughter. And I had, I mean I stared
(17:40):
at her for a minute and that I had, that
had to really resonate in me because I couldn't imagine
what she was saying. And then I realized that her
the accident was in two thousand three, and my mother
died in two thousand three, so her brother died also
of course then, and she's telling me that the two
of them in heaven are sending her to me to
(18:00):
be my daughter. And I just broke down because you
start to like doubt yourself that you're looking into things
that aren't there, but yet they are there, and you
go round and round with with your faith. And one
day Tiba was playing with these dolls, and everybody would
bring her a doll, and she started to name them all.
And one day she names them all Sarah and Anna,
(18:23):
and I said, you know, how do you know those names, honey,
where did you get those names? I don't know. I
just like them. So I get this picture and I said, honey,
these are my grandmother's Their names are Sarah and Anna,
and I was closer to them than my parents. And
yet those are the only two names that she picks
out of the sky to name all of her dolls.
(18:45):
All along the way, it sounds like God was giving
you very clear signs Oh yeah, I'm very very clear,
and her mother got some very clear signs too. So um,
when we were able to, over the years have conversations
about it, it was amazing how so many of the
things that happened on her end inter wreck and that
happened to me here were parallel. Hardest thing to give up, Barbara,
(19:08):
when you became a mom to Teba, what was the
hardest thing for you to transition going from the life
that you knew before, Like you said, your house was
a house, to it becoming a home with this precious
little girl. Well, I was fifty two years old when
(19:29):
Teba came, and so you would imagine that by then
I'd be pretty set in my ways. But I have
to tell you there wasn't anything that I had a
hard time giving up. There wasn't anything that mattered more
than her. And I mean I mean, if I had
to like dig super super deep, I mean, yeah, maybe
(19:50):
the ability to come and go freely wasn't there anymore,
But that wasn't even a big deal because I really
would have rather spent time with her than anybody else.
You know. I tell her that of this day, I'd
rather be with her than with anyone. I kind of
set you up for that because i work with um
kids in foster care and I'm always trying to encourage
(20:10):
people to consider building a family through adopting kids out
of foster care. And they come back with I can
I'm forty, I'm forty five years old, I can't start now,
And you just said the truth. The reality is it's
a joy to make that sacrifice. You know, with Tiba,
why would you want to miss on an opportunity to
(20:31):
have someone like her in your life just because you
think you're too old or you think you can't because
they bring so much more to you. So, Tiba, you
hear your mama bragging about you like this, how does
that make you feel in your heart? To know that
you have that kind of unconditional love behind you. It
(20:54):
puts a smile on my face. And when I hear
my mom Barbara say these things, I know also my
mom back home is saying the same things because both
my mother's they're very connected and they both show me
so much unconditional love and it's something I'm I'll forever
be grateful for because I know there are so many
kids in this world that don't even have one mom
(21:16):
and my heart breaks for them. But also I'm just
counting my blessings because I got two moms that brag
about me all the time, and it gets annoying sometimes,
but I just because they love me. So annoying to
know that they see all the good and all the
value in me. Because you're not just uh, you're not
(21:36):
a typical young woman. You're very ambitious, You're very well spoken.
You do speaking engagements, and you have used uh your
challenges to motivate other young people. What are share with
our listeners some of the cool things Tiba that you've done.
I mean, besides helping to write a book that I
think is going to be a best seller. Yeah, so
(21:57):
I did hope my mom write that book, but it's
mostly her her book. Um, I've done, like you said,
many speaking engagements for fundraisers or for just um public
events that I've helped my mom out with. And um,
I speak to encourage well. My goal is to encourage
(22:20):
the children who are in situations that I know all
too well. And so I'll speak for hospitals and whatever,
and I get to tell the children, Hey, I know
it's hard, but I beg you to hold on and
I've also I'm a youth Youth Ambassador for the Iraqi
Children Foundation, so my mom's part of that organization as well.
(22:44):
But it helps these displaced children um in in Iraq
that don't really have anywhere to go, don't have an education,
and don't have any um legal help. So we've been
able to speak behalf of them and help them. You know,
one of the reasons I wanted to do a podcast
(23:06):
in addition to my regular show is because I believe
that everybody Barbara has that thing in their heart, regardless
of where you live or what your faith is, there
is something in our heart that wants to make the
world a better place, a kinder place. But a lot
(23:26):
of people are afraid to step out on faith and
take that first step. A lot of people think I
could never do this. And you looked at a picture
in a newspaper and found the strength and the courage
you and your your family to move forward confidently. Like
you said, who could turn that that beautiful face down
(23:48):
to to be proactive? What would you say to a
person who's listening to this podcast right now, who might
have a passion for children, for displaced children, for animals,
for our environment. What would you say to them when
that voice pops up in their heads and says, so
you could you You could never do that? What do
(24:09):
you say to them? I think that you don't have
to maybe go across the country like I did, and
this was my calling, Um, you could do something in
your own community. Like I said, don't look at the
big picture, look at what you can do immediately, and
then it's not so overwhelming. But you can do it.
(24:29):
And it doesn't always mean um, because we are not
people of means by any stretch. So it doesn't mean
that you have to have lots of money, but it's
a gift of time and effort and holding somebody's hand
and just being a voice for them or a voice
for them that they can listen to. T But when
you were younger, and you would look in the mirror
(24:52):
and see, you know, what had happened because of the
the I E ed and the burns. Did you ever
imagine that you would be the face that encourages so
many other young people. No? I was actually looking in
the mirror and saying, twenty years from now, hopefully my
(25:14):
scars will go away. And as I've gotten older, I
realized that's just not something that's going to happen. It
will never happen. But I've also come to realize that's
not necessarily a bad thing, because, like you said, I
can provide that solace and that help for other children
and that encouragement that they need. So if I have
to um be burdened, I guess with these scars, then okay,
(25:39):
because at least it's benefiting other people. So it's okay
if twenty years from now they're not disappearing. How many
surgeries have you faced, Eva? Nineteen surgeries. Wow, she's so
different now than when she had that first accident with
some of these scars. You know, I've always told her
nobody's per I mean, so many of us as we
(26:01):
get older, you have more ugly, hairy, dark spots, spotchy, wrinkles,
whatever that comes out. And nobody's perfect. And that her
scars speak volumes is to her, to me, to her
character and the type of person that she is, and
she should hold her head up high. So the book
is called A Brave Face, and Tiba, your beautiful face
(26:23):
is on the cover and I had to blow the
picture up to wrap my head around the fact that
you were once terribly disfigured because the face that I
see is so beautiful and the same eyes that captured
your mama's heart, Barbara's heart. Man, those eyes are gorgeous, girlfriend,
(26:48):
they go all the way to your soul. Thank you?
All right? So, if somebody wants to get involved, plug
into the Iraqi Children's Foundation, how do they do that? Well,
the best thing is the five ks this summer and
they could be part of Team Tiba. And if you
just go to Iraqi children dot org or just google
(27:09):
the Iraqi Children's Foundation, it'll come up. And if they
want to be part of Team Tiba, we welcome everyone.
And if they can't get to where that five K is,
how could could they organize one in their school? They could,
They could organize anything and all that money could go
towards UM Team Tiba, or they can just make a
(27:30):
donation and UM we would list them as a participant
as part of Tiba's Team Tiba. What do you hope
that you are able to do for other young people?
I hope I am able to provide that encouragement and
be that voice that's saying, hey, you can do this.
(27:53):
You don't have to listen to that other voice saying
you can't because there's nothing stopping you. And my mom
has definitely me shown that. And I also hope, especially
for young girls, UM, that when they look into the mirror,
they're not saying twenty years from now, I want my
flaws to disappear. I hope I can um make these
girls realize nothing needs to change and that they're beautiful regardless.
(28:18):
And although that's something I'm still learning, I'm very grateful
for the experiences that have led me to being able
to cope with that and say, hey, it's okay, all right,
thank you for spending this time with me. You are
both lovely. Thank you. Pray that many people pick up
a brave face, and I pray that God just continues
(28:38):
to open doors and use you both to impact the
world for good. Okay, that's our goal, that's our mission.
Thank you, Thank you. Barbara Marlowe had no special skills,
no knowledge about Iraq, about I E. D. S. She
had never parented children. She wasn't a mom, she didn't
(28:59):
have any medical knowledge. She didn't know how to raise children,
especially children who were disabled or wounded. But she fell
into the eyes of a wounded little Iraqi girl photographed
setting in her father's lap. The fact that she didn't
(29:20):
have any skills, any knowledge, any information, any political clout
did not stop her from deciding that she was going
to try to do something to help Tiba. That July
day she read about her in the newspaper. She did
help her, and in doing so, discovered so much about herself,
(29:44):
such as her own tenacity when faced with insurmountable obstacles,
her ability to navigate complicated situations, and her capacity for loving.
I'm so very inspired by their story told in their
book A Bray Face, released by HarperCollins on March twelve.
I know you will be to please pick up a
(30:07):
copy today. I'm grateful that they shared their story and
their time with us. Grateful too for my sponsor, the
Home Depot, who made all of this possible. I hope
today's episode of Love Someone inspired you, encouraged you to
follow the whisper in your heart. Tell your friends about
(30:32):
my podcast series Love Someone with Delilah and subscribe on
your favorite podcast platform, and I will talk to you
again real soon
Host
Delilah
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