April 29, 2025 • 32 mins
Best known for her roles on “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “The Middle”, Patricia Heaton knows how to find and share the humor in everyday life. She's as real and relatable as the characters she portrays, and is bringing those qualities to another career defining chapter - that of producer.
FourBoys Entertainment is the name of the production company she founded with her husband, David Hunt, and "Unexpected" is a prime example of their exemplary movie making. A heartfelt dramedy that brings humor and honesty to the emotional complexities of infertility and adoption... It's a film about embracing the unpredictable beauty of life.
Hang out with us for a while and get to know Patricia a little better. She's ahhhmazing!
~ Delilah
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
The daffodils, the tulip seben fading away, the cherry blossoms
falling in a profusion of soft, rosy petals that remind
me of fluffy, pink snow drifts in my yard. April
has nearly worn itself out, But before we bid it goodbye,
let's take a moment to appreciate all that it delivered
(00:27):
after winter had its way with us. I also want
to recognize it for another good reason. April is National
Infertility Awareness Month. It is a month filled with signs
of rebirth and renewal. Perhaps that is why it was
chosen to raise awareness and spread knowledge and hope for
(00:52):
those experiencing the painful reality of infertility. Because infertility is
a problem and it's getting more common all the time.
About twelve percent of couples experience it. But the unique
circumstances of couples and individuals can make infertility sufferers feel very,
(01:14):
very alone. They're not there is A beautiful film called Unexpected.
Unexpected was originally released back in twenty twenty three, but
it's now streaming on Prime Video. It's about a couple
struggling with infertility and how they navigate life's unexpected twists
(01:36):
that lead them on a heartfelt, humorous journey towards a
family they never saw coming. Here's a synopsis of the movie.
Music critic Bob is facing a career setback, increasing anxiety
and the daily chaos created by the animals his wife
(01:56):
Amy has brought into their home. Amy Key bringing animals
home common theme in my life. While grappling with the
weight of infertility, the couple faces acrossroads. Will adopting a
baby be the answer to their search for meaning fulfillment
and family. It is produced by Today's podcast guest I'm
(02:17):
going to be talking with the extremely funny and talented
Patricia Heaton. She worked on this movie with her production partner,
her husband, David Hunt. Patricia best known for her role
on the beloved and critically acclaimed series Everybody Loves Raymond.
For her nine season portrayal of Raymond's wife, Deborah, she
(02:39):
received seven consecutive Primetime Emmy nominations, winning for Best Actress
in a Comedy twice. She then followed that up with
another nine season starring run on the ABC comedy The Middle.
Patricia is with us today. I adore her work, I
adore what I know of her life. Her faith, her family.
(03:00):
I can't wait to share some time with her ride
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Hazel Cream and Love twenty four. Hi, Patricia, thank you
(04:53):
for joining us today. Yeah, hello, welcome to Love Someone
with Delilah.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I am so glad we're doing this on zoom. Although
our listeners can't see it, I get to see you
in fangirl for a minute. I don't fangirl very often
because I've worked nights for forty five years. Fifty years
I've done the night shift. So I am probably the
only person in America that, like, never watched a single
(05:21):
episode of Dallas, you know, back in the day, or
I've never seen I've never seen any of the talent
shows you know, America's got talent or whatever, unless I
see them, you know, on my computer and the little
clips they send out.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
But back when, back in the day, I would record you.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh that's lovely.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And that's how I figured out how to use the
recording device so I could record you, because.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, fantastic.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
You make me laugh and you're just so I'm fangirling
for a moment.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Okay, I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
You are, and you're even more beautiful, like you're so beautiful.
My podcast producer runs things by me and she's like, well,
how would you like to talk to this person? How
would you like to talk to that person? And she
reached out to me and she said, I already know
the answer, but I still have to get the official
(06:17):
So how would you like to talk to Patercia Heaton?
And you you're one of those people that we all
I think everybody feels like you're our friend. We've seen you,
You've been a part of our lives for so many decades.
Like when you popped up on my screen, I'm like, oh, yeah,
there she is. I've never met you before. But do
(06:39):
you get that a lot? Like people feel like you're
their best friend?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yes, And they relate to my characters that I've played,
and both Everybody Loves Raymond and The Middle are on
all the time, and people often tell me they go
to bed with one show or the other. A lot
of people go to sleep to Raymond and watch The
Middle with their whole family and binge it and rewatch
it and picked up, you know, sayings from the show.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
It kind of becomes a part of your vernacular.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, and it sort of becomes a tapestry, part of
the tapestry of the like the background of your life
or the environment. Just the way when you're a teenager
and you hear certain songs from the past, it evokes
that period of your life. And I think that comedies
(07:32):
can do that too. And the thing about Raymond in particular,
but The Middle has quite a wide international reach. Also,
they both have universal themes about family that anybody in
any country can relate to. In the Raymond it was
really about marriage and in laws, and then The Middle
(07:55):
is about raising kids from grade school to teens high school.
So and everybody in the world can relate to those things.
So and they're timeless also Raymond in particular, but also
pretty much with The Middle. They never did topical episodes,
(08:17):
you know, so that the show's never dated because they're
not talking about whatever the administration was current at that time,
and there's no political things it's really about these.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Broad universal.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Values and situations that anyone who's married with kids has
dealt with.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And now we're going to talk about a movie that
kind of wraps all those themes up together with Unexpected,
which came out two years ago, but now it's available
on Prime, so right, for those folks who never leave
the house anymore. Until it's available on Prime, it's not
really out there.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
That's right. And one of the reasons we've decided to.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Promote it again now is that it's National Infertility Awareness months.
And though Unexpected, with Anna Camp and Joe Mazzello as
our stars, is a quirky comedy about a marriage, but
it's dealing with the idea of struggling with infertility, struggling
(09:26):
with the question of whether to adopt or not. And
our couple, Bob and Amy, are on different pages about
adoption and infertility and struggle to get on the same
page at the same time. And we all have seen
articles about IVF and surrogacy, and there's all these, you know,
(09:51):
many articles mostly focused on women naturally, about what you
go through to try to get pregnant if you're struggling.
And one of the crew members, a guy said to
us while we were filming Unexpected. He said, you know,
you never hear really the male perspective and how a
man is also being emotionally impacted by this situation. And
(10:16):
it's really nice to see the man also given space
in this movie to go through his struggle and we
see that point of view also.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
So I was very impressed.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Because this is just a crew guy that I don't
even know that he's even married, but he, you know,
was suggesting that we don't get the male perspective and
the male struggle on this topic.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
So that was.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
An eye opener for me to hear that from a
male crew member. But it's and of course I love
comedy and I think comedy is a great way into
a difficult topic, and so it's it's very quirky. Our
actors are fantas plastick at a camp and Joe Mazzello,
(11:02):
and you know, with comedy of you you can kind
of grab people's hearts through laughter. They kind of open
up and relax even physically. If you're laughing, your body's
getting extra oxygen and your serotonin levels are going up.
And so that when things happen in the movie and
it takes a slightly more dramatic turn. You're kind of
(11:27):
open to it, and I think that's what makes this
movie so powerful.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Comedy does that with everything, whether it's you know, difficult
subjects like infertility. What a tough topic to talk about,
to be open about, to deal with. I'm trying to
think of any other movie or book that I've read
outside of you know, technical stuff or firsthand experience that
(11:58):
deals with the topic like it's a part of life.
It's what so many couples are facing today.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
So many couples, and for so many reasons. I think environmentally,
you know, I think we're really now paying very close
attention to what's in our food, what kind of drugs
we're taking, what we're giving our kids, what's in the
atmosphere plastic particular particulate matter and everything, you know, those things.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
I saw a study the other day about polyester pants
and how that affects.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh no, because well, it didn't affect me, because that's
all I wore in the seventies. I remember a particular
pair of peach colored, high waisted, thirty inch bell polyester
pants I got for my sixteenth birthday, which were fabulous,
But I was able to still have pop out for kids,
kind of late in life.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
So I'm going to vouch for polyester.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yes, I made my mother taught me how to sew
and what you basically means. She would come and say
rip it out, rip it out, rip it out, and
then she would end up finishing the project because but
she made me the thirty inch bell you know, high
waist polyester.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
You know that was really I had them in white,
and I had him in pink.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Okay, And let me say, the seventies are interesting because
the men looked terrible, horrid, but the women have never
looked better. You look at farafaucet, this gorgeous hair, right
these really these clothes like a high waisted polyester, thirty
inch bell bottom pant is fabulous. Look it makes everybody
(13:47):
look fantastic. Like the women looked wonderful and the men
looked terrible.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Look dorky as I'll get out. Yes, yeah, I saw
social media posts the other day that what could have
been me and my best friends hanging out, lazing around
and leaning against a camaro, you know, and it said
it said something like, you think you're cool, you will
never be as badass as your grandma.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
And.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It's true.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
It's and the guys with their dorky plaid polyester leisure suits,
what was that about.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, and bad haircuts and.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, yeah, we still thought they were hot back then.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
So yeah, we didn't have a choice else were we
going to go. But but just to say that, you know,
so the environment is a factor, I think in the struggle.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And then women delaying their.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Child bearing years until into their thirties, which is what
happened with me. Didn't have my first son until I
was thirty five, so and I had, you know, four
very quick succession. They were born in ninety three, ninety five,
ninety seven, and ninety nine. So so but and I
(15:16):
was just very fortunate, you know. I just come from
a very you know, large sort of Irish Catholic tribe.
And my mother was one of fifteen kids, and you know,
all of those fifteen kids had between five and ten
kids themselves.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
So how many first cousins, like around.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
One hundred first cousins.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yeah, And my husband jokes that he's British, and he
jokes that I had to marry someone out of the
country just to make sure I wasn't marrying a relative.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
So infertility is certainly not anything you or your family.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I've not struggled with it, Praise God, but I think
those are some of the factors. And I think, you know,
as far as delaying your child bearing until later, I
kind of understand women doing it twenty years ago, fifteen
years ago, when we didn't have companies willing to let
(16:33):
women work remotely.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I used to work with a group.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Called Feminists for Life, and they for years, years, way
before it was cool, way before it was normal, they
were always pushing and trying to get companies to allow
what they call telework that time, but we're talking about
remote work, and nobody was up for it, and then
(16:57):
the pandemic happened and it was forced upon everyone and
has become, you know, an option often now, although a
lot of people are being forced to go back into
the offices, and there's a case to be made for
that too, but now there are more, I think options
for parents in the workplace. So I feel that, you know,
(17:24):
if you've met your life partner, you know, investigate what
it would be like to if your company offers any
kind of that program to work remotely when you're having
your kids, you should go ahead and do that, because
(17:46):
it's really tough if you wait and wait and wait,
and then you get to be in your thirties, your
mid thirties, and then you find out you're now you're
struggling to get to conceive. You know, you've you the
clock is really ticking.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It's just a reality.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
And it's not a judgment of anybody who waits or whatever.
I look, I didn't, as I said, I didn't have
my kids till I was in my thirties. But I
think trying to take advantage of the way the world
is now where you have more opportunities to work from home,
if you can do that and you want to have kids,
and I would say investigate that.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Before you hear TikTok TikTok, TikTok TikTok, because then.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
You get stressed, and the stress and the pressure can
make your body, you know, make it harder for your
body to conceive when you have that on top of it.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
So your hobby, he's your producing partner, right you guys.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Were you directed this movie and we both produced it? Unexpected?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
How fun is that like to get to work with
the person you love the best?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Oh? Are you married? I am you've clearly never worked
with your husband.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Hell no, yeah, well we're working with a Dave.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
We just we have to.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
It's great and we're almost always on the same page,
but with different styles of working.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So what we have to do is kind of set
the rules.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
As long as you have rules and you know where
the boundaries are when you're working together.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
So what's your work is that?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It's fine?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Are you do you? Are you mythoonical? Do you have
a schedule?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
There?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Are you hierarchy? Well, so on a set, the director
is the last word. So he was directing. I was
sitting next to him at the monitor, but I, you know,
we're both actors and we love working with actors, and
I would have my own notes when we would watch,
like with Unexpected, when we would watch a scene, and
so we had to just and only the director should
(19:50):
be going on set to give actors notes after a take,
and so I have to make sure he didn't leap
out of his director's chair before I say, what do
you think about here's my notes? What do you think
about that? Because I didn't want to be running up
onto set with him, because they need to only be
listening to one person or else it gets confusing. So
(20:10):
there are things like that that we just had to
make sure we were we were in sync about all
of that, and you know, we're very opinion it where
both actors were super opinionated, but for the most part
we're we're on the same page.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
So and it's fun.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yeah, oh my gosh. Making a movie is probably one
of the hardest things you could do, but it is
so wonderful when you're in the midst of it, and
when you're in charge. It's a lot of responsibility, but
if you have a good crew supporting you, it can.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Be so much fun.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
And to have that creative control and to see things
come to life and then to see magic happen that
you didn't plan. You know, you try to plan, especially
when you're doing a low budget, you try to plan
within an inch of your life, uh, so that you
finish on time every day, you don't run over because
it's costly.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
And then when you've got that rolling like a machine.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Sometimes things just happened between the actors or there was
one there's one scene in the movie where it's sort
of a more serious moment and one of the one
of the characters walks out the door and as the
door shut, it created a little wind in the room
where this curtain just softly moved after he shut the door,
(21:34):
which you can't you can't plan, and it just was
like this beautiful thing where we're all of us have
the monitor, were like, oh, the curtain.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
It's like geeking out now about little things on set
that make you happy. But it's that kind of magic
and magic that happens between the actors. And there's a
there's a scene in the movie. There's a rabbit kind
of figures prominently in the movie, a live rabbit named Binkie,
(22:07):
but also a little origami rabbit that is in a
tiny little boat that sails down this little creek. And
to watch fifty people standing at this edge of this
creek just with their fingers crossed, hoping that that little
origami bunny makes it down this certain way and over
(22:28):
the waterfall of this creek, you know, and we're like, oh,
is it going?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Is it? Oh? I have to do it again because
he went the wrong way or the bunny tipped over.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's some of a ridiculous way of living, but it's
one of my favorite scenes in the movie because it's
just so it's shot beautifully by our wonderful DP Alison Andersson,
and it's just a very moving moment and it's visually
(23:00):
beautiful and touching with this beautiful music underneath it. So
those are the kind of things that keep crazies like
us going because it's an insane business and nobody in
the right mind would ever pursue it.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It would have to.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
It just has to be something that's in you that
you just feel you have stories to tell and they
must come out.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
So in addition to telling those stories in your acting
career when you were on camera and in your producing career,
you've written a book for moms, you've written a book
for us.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
That can act.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
How to get a job like mine.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Oh, motherhood in Hollywood? How to get a job like mine?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I wrote that many many years ago when I was
on Everybody Loves Raymond. And it's sort of an odd
autobiography and that it's it's divided into three sections, growing
up in Cleveland, struggling in New York, and making it
in Hollywood. So the chapters are not necessarily on a
(24:04):
start to finish timeline. It's sort of a little bit
stream of consciousness essays on certain events that happened in
those three different periods of my life, about things I
experienced and what I learned. And it is a really
(24:27):
fun book to write.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
And now you've got four boys, and have they all launched?
Are they still in the nest on the edge of
the nesta? Have they flown the nest?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
They've all flown the nest in a sense. And there's
ages twenty six to thirty one, and they all have jobs,
but they're still, you know, finding their way. Three of
them have what I consider serious girlfriend. I think that
those are going to be their life partners. So we're
(25:03):
excited about that. And we're just trying to stay alive
long enough to see grandchildren because that could be a minute.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
So I'll lend you a few, oh, so that we can.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Give them back after a few hours. Yeah, it'd be great.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Between my husband and I, we have twenty twenty three
and one great grand So.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Oh my goodness. You sound like yeah my mom's family
growing up.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, but I didn't do it the old fashioned way
like your mom, right right right. I let other women,
God bless them, all the birth moms to the heavy lifting. Yeah,
and all but two I got after they were you
know out of diapers, right.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, so that's helpful. Yeah, they were.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Sleep through the night mostly mostly mostly.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
It's been so lovely catching up with Patricia Heaton today
and learning about the film and everything else. I want
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little something while you're there. So what's an nex? What
(27:20):
are you hoping to do next?
Speaker 3 (27:22):
We have a couple projects that we're going to be
taking out and pitching. I'd like to do another comedy,
possibly multi camera, with an audience, because it's such an
immediate gratification and I love being with comedy people. It's
really fun. And I think when you spend your life
(27:44):
trying to make people laugh, it gives you kind of
a lightness.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Now, of course there's a gat up comedians. We're a
little bit different.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
They're slightly darker, but for the most part comedic actors,
and sometimes they're both like Ray Ramano. It's just fun.
It's just fun to make people laugh. It's fun to
be around people who make you laugh. And I think
if everybody could go to work and your whole focus
(28:17):
of the day was trying to be funny and perfecting
it and honing it, and then at the end of
the week an audience came in and applauded your efforts
at your job, the world would be a much.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Much better place place.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
It's a blessing, a blessing. A blessing to be able
to make my living doing comedy. It's such a blessing.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I don't enjoy being around people who aren't funny, like
if you can't laugh, especially at tragic situations or.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Difficult Comedy is based on pain.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Really, when you analyze it, it's about pain and pain
as can be hilarious and it's the best. A great
way to deal with pain is to try to find
the humor in it, which kind of lends you a
sense of hope and that this, you know, whatever you're
going through, is not going to last forever. And that
the other message would be there's a lot of people
in the world who are going through what you're going through,
(29:17):
and we all get it and we share it.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Amen. Amen.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
When my when my father was passing away, all of
us five kids had the blessing of being with him
for the last three days of his life in the
in the hospice care and you know, every day, at
some point in the day, the nurses would come in
and say, I think this is time, it's time. Now
he's going, he's going, and we'd all gather around him
(29:46):
and put our hands on him and thank him and
talk to him, and then he'd hang in there, and
he'd hang in there, and then another day and another day.
By the third day, my brother said, this is the
worst slumber party.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
I have.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Come on Dad.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
And head.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
He was probably cracking himself up, like gotcha again, right,
So yeah, you know humor, humor, well, you humor us,
you make us laugh. Ah. Patricia, thank you, thank you
so much, Thank you, honey.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, God bless. Patricia recently finished filming a supporting role
alongside Zoey das Chanel and Charlie Cox on the Amazon
MGM studio's upcoming film MERV, and also start alongside Brian
Cox in the indie feature Mending the Line and in
Sony's faith based comedy Mom's Night Out. She can currently
(30:46):
be seen in the feature film Unbreakable Boy, Oh my gosh,
that movie made me cry so hard with Zachary Levi,
and next in the ritual with al Pacino, Oh my gosh,
this woman. She does not slow down. Make a note
of all those already released and still to come, but
(31:06):
right now. Watch Unexpected on Prime Video, a heartfelt dramedy
that brings humor and honesty to the emotional complexities of
infertility and adoption, showing us one couple wrestling with disappointment
who discover that family has not always formed how we
plan it, but often it is exactly what we need.
(31:30):
It's a film about embracing the unpredictable beauty of life.
Keep your eyes out and your ears open for new
projects coming from Four Boys Entertainment. That is the name
of Patricia's production company that she and her husband have
and keep up with Patricia on Facebook and Instagram. Embrace
(31:50):
what little is left of April and welcome May with
open arms and open hearts. And if you need a
little company in the evening, you know where to find me.
You are listening to the Lila
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Mhmm.
The daffodils, the tulip seben fading away, the cherry blossoms
falling in a profusion of soft, rosy petals that remind
me of fluffy, pink snow drifts in my yard. April
has nearly worn itself out, But before we bid it goodbye,
let's take a moment to appreciate all that it delivered
(00:27):
after winter had its way with us. I also want
to recognize it for another good reason. April is National
Infertility Awareness Month. It is a month filled with signs
of rebirth and renewal. Perhaps that is why it was
chosen to raise awareness and spread knowledge and hope for
(00:52):
those experiencing the painful reality of infertility. Because infertility is
a problem and it's getting more common all the time.
About twelve percent of couples experience it. But the unique
circumstances of couples and individuals can make infertility sufferers feel very,
(01:14):
very alone. They're not there is A beautiful film called Unexpected.
Unexpected was originally released back in twenty twenty three, but
it's now streaming on Prime Video. It's about a couple
struggling with infertility and how they navigate life's unexpected twists
(01:36):
that lead them on a heartfelt, humorous journey towards a
family they never saw coming. Here's a synopsis of the movie.
Music critic Bob is facing a career setback, increasing anxiety
and the daily chaos created by the animals his wife
(01:56):
Amy has brought into their home. Amy Key bringing animals
home common theme in my life. While grappling with the
weight of infertility, the couple faces acrossroads. Will adopting a
baby be the answer to their search for meaning fulfillment
and family. It is produced by Today's podcast guest I'm
(02:17):
going to be talking with the extremely funny and talented
Patricia Heaton. She worked on this movie with her production partner,
her husband, David Hunt. Patricia best known for her role
on the beloved and critically acclaimed series Everybody Loves Raymond.
For her nine season portrayal of Raymond's wife, Deborah, she
(02:39):
received seven consecutive Primetime Emmy nominations, winning for Best Actress
in a Comedy twice. She then followed that up with
another nine season starring run on the ABC comedy The Middle.
Patricia is with us today. I adore her work, I
adore what I know of her life. Her faith, her family.
(03:00):
I can't wait to share some time with her ride
after I share some love with one of my podcast sponsors.
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Hazel Cream and Love twenty four. Hi, Patricia, thank you
(04:53):
for joining us today. Yeah, hello, welcome to Love Someone
with Delilah.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
I am so glad we're doing this on zoom. Although
our listeners can't see it, I get to see you
in fangirl for a minute. I don't fangirl very often
because I've worked nights for forty five years. Fifty years
I've done the night shift. So I am probably the
only person in America that, like, never watched a single
(05:21):
episode of Dallas, you know, back in the day, or
I've never seen I've never seen any of the talent
shows you know, America's got talent or whatever, unless I
see them, you know, on my computer and the little
clips they send out.
Speaker 3 (05:36):
Right.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
But back when, back in the day, I would record you.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Oh that's lovely.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
And that's how I figured out how to use the
recording device so I could record you, because.
Speaker 2 (05:48):
Yeah, fantastic.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
You make me laugh and you're just so I'm fangirling
for a moment.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
Okay, I'll take it.
Speaker 1 (05:56):
You are, and you're even more beautiful, like you're so beautiful.
My podcast producer runs things by me and she's like, well,
how would you like to talk to this person? How
would you like to talk to that person? And she
reached out to me and she said, I already know
the answer, but I still have to get the official
(06:17):
So how would you like to talk to Patercia Heaton?
And you you're one of those people that we all
I think everybody feels like you're our friend. We've seen you,
You've been a part of our lives for so many decades.
Like when you popped up on my screen, I'm like, oh, yeah,
there she is. I've never met you before. But do
(06:39):
you get that a lot? Like people feel like you're
their best friend?
Speaker 3 (06:42):
Yes, And they relate to my characters that I've played,
and both Everybody Loves Raymond and The Middle are on
all the time, and people often tell me they go
to bed with one show or the other. A lot
of people go to sleep to Raymond and watch The
Middle with their whole family and binge it and rewatch
it and picked up, you know, sayings from the show.
Speaker 1 (07:09):
It kind of becomes a part of your vernacular.
Speaker 3 (07:11):
Yeah, and it sort of becomes a tapestry, part of
the tapestry of the like the background of your life
or the environment. Just the way when you're a teenager
and you hear certain songs from the past, it evokes
that period of your life. And I think that comedies
(07:32):
can do that too. And the thing about Raymond in particular,
but The Middle has quite a wide international reach. Also,
they both have universal themes about family that anybody in
any country can relate to. In the Raymond it was
really about marriage and in laws, and then The Middle
(07:55):
is about raising kids from grade school to teens high school.
So and everybody in the world can relate to those things.
So and they're timeless also Raymond in particular, but also
pretty much with The Middle. They never did topical episodes,
(08:17):
you know, so that the show's never dated because they're
not talking about whatever the administration was current at that time,
and there's no political things it's really about these.
Speaker 2 (08:28):
Broad universal.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
Values and situations that anyone who's married with kids has
dealt with.
Speaker 1 (08:40):
And now we're going to talk about a movie that
kind of wraps all those themes up together with Unexpected,
which came out two years ago, but now it's available
on Prime, so right, for those folks who never leave
the house anymore. Until it's available on Prime, it's not
really out there.
Speaker 2 (08:57):
That's right. And one of the reasons we've decided to.
Speaker 3 (09:03):
Promote it again now is that it's National Infertility Awareness months.
And though Unexpected, with Anna Camp and Joe Mazzello as
our stars, is a quirky comedy about a marriage, but
it's dealing with the idea of struggling with infertility, struggling
(09:26):
with the question of whether to adopt or not. And
our couple, Bob and Amy, are on different pages about
adoption and infertility and struggle to get on the same
page at the same time. And we all have seen
articles about IVF and surrogacy, and there's all these, you know,
(09:51):
many articles mostly focused on women naturally, about what you
go through to try to get pregnant if you're struggling.
And one of the crew members, a guy said to
us while we were filming Unexpected. He said, you know,
you never hear really the male perspective and how a
man is also being emotionally impacted by this situation. And
(10:16):
it's really nice to see the man also given space
in this movie to go through his struggle and we
see that point of view also.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
So I was very impressed.
Speaker 3 (10:28):
Because this is just a crew guy that I don't
even know that he's even married, but he, you know,
was suggesting that we don't get the male perspective and
the male struggle on this topic.
Speaker 2 (10:39):
So that was.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
An eye opener for me to hear that from a
male crew member. But it's and of course I love
comedy and I think comedy is a great way into
a difficult topic, and so it's it's very quirky. Our
actors are fantas plastick at a camp and Joe Mazzello,
(11:02):
and you know, with comedy of you you can kind
of grab people's hearts through laughter. They kind of open
up and relax even physically. If you're laughing, your body's
getting extra oxygen and your serotonin levels are going up.
And so that when things happen in the movie and
it takes a slightly more dramatic turn. You're kind of
(11:27):
open to it, and I think that's what makes this
movie so powerful.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Comedy does that with everything, whether it's you know, difficult
subjects like infertility. What a tough topic to talk about,
to be open about, to deal with. I'm trying to
think of any other movie or book that I've read
outside of you know, technical stuff or firsthand experience that
(11:58):
deals with the topic like it's a part of life.
It's what so many couples are facing today.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
So many couples, and for so many reasons. I think environmentally,
you know, I think we're really now paying very close
attention to what's in our food, what kind of drugs
we're taking, what we're giving our kids, what's in the
atmosphere plastic particular particulate matter and everything, you know, those things.
Speaker 1 (12:31):
I saw a study the other day about polyester pants
and how that affects.
Speaker 3 (12:38):
Oh no, because well, it didn't affect me, because that's
all I wore in the seventies. I remember a particular
pair of peach colored, high waisted, thirty inch bell polyester
pants I got for my sixteenth birthday, which were fabulous,
But I was able to still have pop out for kids,
kind of late in life.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
So I'm going to vouch for polyester.
Speaker 1 (13:00):
Yes, I made my mother taught me how to sew
and what you basically means. She would come and say
rip it out, rip it out, rip it out, and
then she would end up finishing the project because but
she made me the thirty inch bell you know, high
waist polyester.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (13:21):
You know that was really I had them in white,
and I had him in pink.
Speaker 3 (13:26):
Okay, And let me say, the seventies are interesting because
the men looked terrible, horrid, but the women have never
looked better. You look at farafaucet, this gorgeous hair, right
these really these clothes like a high waisted polyester, thirty
inch bell bottom pant is fabulous. Look it makes everybody
(13:47):
look fantastic. Like the women looked wonderful and the men
looked terrible.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
Look dorky as I'll get out. Yes, yeah, I saw
social media posts the other day that what could have
been me and my best friends hanging out, lazing around
and leaning against a camaro, you know, and it said
it said something like, you think you're cool, you will
never be as badass as your grandma.
Speaker 3 (14:15):
And.
Speaker 1 (14:17):
It's true.
Speaker 2 (14:18):
It's true.
Speaker 1 (14:19):
It's and the guys with their dorky plaid polyester leisure suits,
what was that about.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
Yeah, and bad haircuts and.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Yeah, yeah, we still thought they were hot back then.
Speaker 3 (14:34):
So yeah, we didn't have a choice else were we
going to go. But but just to say that, you know,
so the environment is a factor, I think in the struggle.
Speaker 2 (14:48):
And then women delaying their.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
Child bearing years until into their thirties, which is what
happened with me. Didn't have my first son until I
was thirty five, so and I had, you know, four
very quick succession. They were born in ninety three, ninety five,
ninety seven, and ninety nine. So so but and I
(15:16):
was just very fortunate, you know. I just come from
a very you know, large sort of Irish Catholic tribe.
And my mother was one of fifteen kids, and you know,
all of those fifteen kids had between five and ten
kids themselves.
Speaker 1 (15:33):
So how many first cousins, like around.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
One hundred first cousins.
Speaker 3 (15:38):
Yeah, And my husband jokes that he's British, and he
jokes that I had to marry someone out of the
country just to make sure I wasn't marrying a relative.
Speaker 1 (16:03):
So infertility is certainly not anything you or your family.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I've not struggled with it, Praise God, but I think
those are some of the factors. And I think, you know,
as far as delaying your child bearing until later, I
kind of understand women doing it twenty years ago, fifteen
years ago, when we didn't have companies willing to let
(16:33):
women work remotely.
Speaker 2 (16:35):
I used to work with a group.
Speaker 3 (16:37):
Called Feminists for Life, and they for years, years, way
before it was cool, way before it was normal, they
were always pushing and trying to get companies to allow
what they call telework that time, but we're talking about
remote work, and nobody was up for it, and then
(16:57):
the pandemic happened and it was forced upon everyone and
has become, you know, an option often now, although a
lot of people are being forced to go back into
the offices, and there's a case to be made for
that too, but now there are more, I think options
for parents in the workplace. So I feel that, you know,
(17:24):
if you've met your life partner, you know, investigate what
it would be like to if your company offers any
kind of that program to work remotely when you're having
your kids, you should go ahead and do that, because
(17:46):
it's really tough if you wait and wait and wait,
and then you get to be in your thirties, your
mid thirties, and then you find out you're now you're
struggling to get to conceive. You know, you've you the
clock is really ticking.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
It's just a reality.
Speaker 3 (18:03):
And it's not a judgment of anybody who waits or whatever.
I look, I didn't, as I said, I didn't have
my kids till I was in my thirties. But I
think trying to take advantage of the way the world
is now where you have more opportunities to work from home,
if you can do that and you want to have kids,
and I would say investigate that.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
Before you hear TikTok TikTok, TikTok TikTok, because then.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
You get stressed, and the stress and the pressure can
make your body, you know, make it harder for your
body to conceive when you have that on top of it.
Speaker 1 (18:36):
So your hobby, he's your producing partner, right you guys.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Were you directed this movie and we both produced it? Unexpected?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
How fun is that like to get to work with
the person you love the best?
Speaker 2 (18:52):
Oh? Are you married? I am you've clearly never worked
with your husband.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Hell no, yeah, well we're working with a Dave.
Speaker 2 (19:02):
We just we have to.
Speaker 3 (19:04):
It's great and we're almost always on the same page,
but with different styles of working.
Speaker 2 (19:11):
So what we have to do is kind of set
the rules.
Speaker 3 (19:14):
As long as you have rules and you know where
the boundaries are when you're working together.
Speaker 1 (19:21):
So what's your work is that?
Speaker 2 (19:22):
It's fine?
Speaker 1 (19:23):
Are you do you? Are you mythoonical? Do you have
a schedule?
Speaker 2 (19:27):
There?
Speaker 3 (19:27):
Are you hierarchy? Well, so on a set, the director
is the last word. So he was directing. I was
sitting next to him at the monitor, but I, you know,
we're both actors and we love working with actors, and
I would have my own notes when we would watch,
like with Unexpected, when we would watch a scene, and
so we had to just and only the director should
(19:50):
be going on set to give actors notes after a take,
and so I have to make sure he didn't leap
out of his director's chair before I say, what do
you think about here's my notes? What do you think
about that? Because I didn't want to be running up
onto set with him, because they need to only be
listening to one person or else it gets confusing. So
(20:10):
there are things like that that we just had to
make sure we were we were in sync about all
of that, and you know, we're very opinion it where
both actors were super opinionated, but for the most part
we're we're on the same page.
Speaker 1 (20:30):
So and it's fun.
Speaker 3 (20:31):
Yeah, oh my gosh. Making a movie is probably one
of the hardest things you could do, but it is
so wonderful when you're in the midst of it, and
when you're in charge. It's a lot of responsibility, but
if you have a good crew supporting you, it can.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
Be so much fun.
Speaker 3 (20:48):
And to have that creative control and to see things
come to life and then to see magic happen that
you didn't plan. You know, you try to plan, especially
when you're doing a low budget, you try to plan
within an inch of your life, uh, so that you
finish on time every day, you don't run over because
it's costly.
Speaker 2 (21:10):
And then when you've got that rolling like a machine.
Speaker 3 (21:13):
Sometimes things just happened between the actors or there was
one there's one scene in the movie where it's sort
of a more serious moment and one of the one
of the characters walks out the door and as the
door shut, it created a little wind in the room
where this curtain just softly moved after he shut the door,
(21:34):
which you can't you can't plan, and it just was
like this beautiful thing where we're all of us have
the monitor, were like, oh, the curtain.
Speaker 2 (21:43):
You know.
Speaker 3 (21:44):
It's like geeking out now about little things on set
that make you happy. But it's that kind of magic
and magic that happens between the actors. And there's a
there's a scene in the movie. There's a rabbit kind
of figures prominently in the movie, a live rabbit named Binkie,
(22:07):
but also a little origami rabbit that is in a
tiny little boat that sails down this little creek. And
to watch fifty people standing at this edge of this
creek just with their fingers crossed, hoping that that little
origami bunny makes it down this certain way and over
(22:28):
the waterfall of this creek, you know, and we're like, oh,
is it going?
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Is it? Oh? I have to do it again because
he went the wrong way or the bunny tipped over.
Speaker 3 (22:38):
It's some of a ridiculous way of living, but it's
one of my favorite scenes in the movie because it's
just so it's shot beautifully by our wonderful DP Alison Andersson,
and it's just a very moving moment and it's visually
(23:00):
beautiful and touching with this beautiful music underneath it. So
those are the kind of things that keep crazies like
us going because it's an insane business and nobody in
the right mind would ever pursue it.
Speaker 2 (23:12):
It would have to.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
It just has to be something that's in you that
you just feel you have stories to tell and they
must come out.
Speaker 1 (23:21):
So in addition to telling those stories in your acting
career when you were on camera and in your producing career,
you've written a book for moms, you've written a book
for us.
Speaker 2 (23:36):
That can act.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
How to get a job like mine.
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Oh, motherhood in Hollywood? How to get a job like mine?
Speaker 3 (23:43):
I wrote that many many years ago when I was
on Everybody Loves Raymond. And it's sort of an odd
autobiography and that it's it's divided into three sections, growing
up in Cleveland, struggling in New York, and making it
in Hollywood. So the chapters are not necessarily on a
(24:04):
start to finish timeline. It's sort of a little bit
stream of consciousness essays on certain events that happened in
those three different periods of my life, about things I
experienced and what I learned. And it is a really
(24:27):
fun book to write.
Speaker 1 (24:30):
And now you've got four boys, and have they all launched?
Are they still in the nest on the edge of
the nesta? Have they flown the nest?
Speaker 3 (24:41):
They've all flown the nest in a sense. And there's
ages twenty six to thirty one, and they all have jobs,
but they're still, you know, finding their way. Three of
them have what I consider serious girlfriend. I think that
those are going to be their life partners. So we're
(25:03):
excited about that. And we're just trying to stay alive
long enough to see grandchildren because that could be a minute.
Speaker 1 (25:09):
So I'll lend you a few, oh, so that we can.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Give them back after a few hours. Yeah, it'd be great.
Speaker 1 (25:19):
Between my husband and I, we have twenty twenty three
and one great grand So.
Speaker 3 (25:24):
Oh my goodness. You sound like yeah my mom's family
growing up.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
Yeah, but I didn't do it the old fashioned way
like your mom, right right right. I let other women,
God bless them, all the birth moms to the heavy lifting. Yeah,
and all but two I got after they were you
know out of diapers, right.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Yeah, so that's helpful. Yeah, they were.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Sleep through the night mostly mostly mostly.
Speaker 2 (25:53):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:54):
It's been so lovely catching up with Patricia Heaton today
and learning about the film and everything else. I want
to stop for a moment and thank my podcast sponsor
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(26:17):
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little something while you're there. So what's an nex? What
(27:20):
are you hoping to do next?
Speaker 3 (27:22):
We have a couple projects that we're going to be
taking out and pitching. I'd like to do another comedy,
possibly multi camera, with an audience, because it's such an
immediate gratification and I love being with comedy people. It's
really fun. And I think when you spend your life
(27:44):
trying to make people laugh, it gives you kind of
a lightness.
Speaker 2 (27:48):
Now, of course there's a gat up comedians. We're a
little bit different.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
They're slightly darker, but for the most part comedic actors,
and sometimes they're both like Ray Ramano. It's just fun.
It's just fun to make people laugh. It's fun to
be around people who make you laugh. And I think
if everybody could go to work and your whole focus
(28:17):
of the day was trying to be funny and perfecting
it and honing it, and then at the end of
the week an audience came in and applauded your efforts
at your job, the world would be a much.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Much better place place.
Speaker 3 (28:36):
It's a blessing, a blessing. A blessing to be able
to make my living doing comedy. It's such a blessing.
Speaker 1 (28:43):
I don't enjoy being around people who aren't funny, like
if you can't laugh, especially at tragic situations or.
Speaker 2 (28:52):
Difficult Comedy is based on pain.
Speaker 3 (28:55):
Really, when you analyze it, it's about pain and pain
as can be hilarious and it's the best. A great
way to deal with pain is to try to find
the humor in it, which kind of lends you a
sense of hope and that this, you know, whatever you're
going through, is not going to last forever. And that
the other message would be there's a lot of people
in the world who are going through what you're going through,
(29:17):
and we all get it and we share it.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Amen. Amen.
Speaker 3 (29:22):
When my when my father was passing away, all of
us five kids had the blessing of being with him
for the last three days of his life in the
in the hospice care and you know, every day, at
some point in the day, the nurses would come in
and say, I think this is time, it's time. Now
he's going, he's going, and we'd all gather around him
(29:46):
and put our hands on him and thank him and
talk to him, and then he'd hang in there, and
he'd hang in there, and then another day and another day.
By the third day, my brother said, this is the
worst slumber party.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
I have.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
Come on Dad.
Speaker 2 (30:06):
And head.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
He was probably cracking himself up, like gotcha again, right,
So yeah, you know humor, humor, well, you humor us,
you make us laugh. Ah. Patricia, thank you, thank you
so much, Thank you, honey.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
Appreciate you.
Speaker 1 (30:24):
Yeah, God bless. Patricia recently finished filming a supporting role
alongside Zoey das Chanel and Charlie Cox on the Amazon
MGM studio's upcoming film MERV, and also start alongside Brian
Cox in the indie feature Mending the Line and in
Sony's faith based comedy Mom's Night Out. She can currently
(30:46):
be seen in the feature film Unbreakable Boy, Oh my gosh,
that movie made me cry so hard with Zachary Levi,
and next in the ritual with al Pacino, Oh my gosh,
this woman. She does not slow down. Make a note
of all those already released and still to come, but
(31:06):
right now. Watch Unexpected on Prime Video, a heartfelt dramedy
that brings humor and honesty to the emotional complexities of
infertility and adoption, showing us one couple wrestling with disappointment
who discover that family has not always formed how we
plan it, but often it is exactly what we need.
(31:30):
It's a film about embracing the unpredictable beauty of life.
Keep your eyes out and your ears open for new
projects coming from Four Boys Entertainment. That is the name
of Patricia's production company that she and her husband have
and keep up with Patricia on Facebook and Instagram. Embrace
(31:50):
what little is left of April and welcome May with
open arms and open hearts. And if you need a
little company in the evening, you know where to find me.
You are listening to the Lila
Speaker 3 (32:05):
Mhmm.
Host
Delilah
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