July 22, 2021 • 9 mins
Fool #1 is telling a woman she gets an extra 3 months due to a bad drug test.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Well, coming up at the top of the hour, right
about four minutes after, it's my strawberry letter for today.
The subject he doesn't like different types of cookies. We'll
get into that in just a little bit. For a minute, man,
ain't nothing, but right now the nephew is in the
building because it is time for today's prank phone call.
(00:23):
What's you guy for us? You know, before we do that,
I got think about this. Why while we run this prank,
I got to take Jackie somewhere in Vegas. I need
a nice restaurant, nice romantic evening. Think about that while
run this prank. Alright, this right here is Ms Fade
Allen's drug test. Miss Faye Allen's drug test. Let's go. Hello. Hello,
(00:48):
I'm trying to reach a Faye place. This is Hello.
This is Officer Rodgers from the Probation Department. Yes, sir, listen,
Now you have been in UH on probation for a
little over a year now, all right, faith, Now you're
supposed to be serving two years probation. All right, now
(01:11):
I'm giving you a call actually bringing you a bit
of bad news. And I hate to do this, but
you you came in for a couple um, a couple
of weeks ago and did a did a drug test?
Am I right? All right now, I don't I hate
to bring you some bad news, but the actual drug
test that you took has come back positive. That's a lot.
(01:35):
That's a lot. That's a Wait a minute, Wait a minute. Now,
you came in a couple of weeks ago, you took
a drug test. This drug test is actually come in positive.
Now what I want to say to use this You're
gonna have to actually hold on a second. I either
need you to come into me or I don't, And
(01:55):
I don't want to save the embarrassment of having to
send a car out to pick you up. Now, not
embarrassments you're talking about, sir. I gave you some was good, ma'am.
Right now, I got you have a positive drug Tell
you have you you you come up positive? Man, Now
you gotta we used the one that you brought us
(02:19):
now must have been the wrong one. Couldn't have been, sir.
I'm sorry, sir, but I wouldn't have gave you a
bad year. And it just wouldn't me, ma'am. I don't
want to have it back to jail. I don't even
know why you would call me with this nonsense. I
got children. I'm trying to do right. I don't know
why you would call me. I wouldn't have game. You
know bad. That's not me, saud fly ma'am you have
(02:40):
to come in and do another three months now, oh, sir,
can come pick me up. I can tell you right now.
I can ple in your hand if you want me to. Ma'am,
your your yearine has come back positive of drugs. Now,
I don't I don't know any other way to explain
it to you. You've been actually evidently using drugs again, sir,
(03:01):
I'm trying to tell you I don't use no drugs.
I've been cleaned for a year and some months. Now
you got the wrong. That's not my How do you
telling you that? How do you know it's not yours? Ma'am?
It's got your name on the lid. Everything you have
come back positive whatever dinnly you put your name on it,
(03:22):
because that ain't came back, would have came back good.
You can't tell me and tell me I gave you
some man? Can me and tell me that that's a negative, sir,
that's a double negative. It's not a double negative, it's
a double positive, you've actually come back positive? Say he
has written here on the actual cup. Fake. No, No,
(03:43):
we don't have more than one faith. You're the only
thing I've actually double checked out myself. You need to
either come in or we got to come out and
all you're behind in here. Well, I need you to
come right now, cause I got some right now, right now.
Are you trying to tell me that if I come
and pick you up and tell your YearIn now, your
YearIn is gonna come up negative? Is that what you're saying.
I'm telling you that you're up terrible positive with that,
(04:07):
my yearine is gonna come up negative? Ma'am. I hate
to I don't want to come out all year in
front of your family, but you're actually gonna be coming
in and you're gonna do three months. That's all I
can tell you. You've got confident. You got the wrong
saying hellnor you got the wrong. It's one of the two.
Might be both you got the wrong, you got the wrong, fake.
(04:29):
I'm letting you positive positive. I'm trying to tell you
I got kids, man, I ain't had no positive. Listen, ma'am,
I'm telling you one more time. You either want to
come in or want me to come and get you.
What's one? Let me tell you what I want you
to do. I want you to find out who you have,
because that ain't money. Don't know. I'm gonna tell me
(04:52):
nothing about you got some some that that is not good.
I gave you some good times. I got to y'all.
Y'all keep picking up people, soft, fair kills and folks
y'all had me says time miss my children. Now I'm
I mean giving you good and you say I want
to with me, I'm dad. I ain't getting a bed.
(05:14):
I'm calling no more like that. And well is my
probation office? You say your name is? My name is
Officer Rogers. I don't know Officer Rogers. Like I said,
you might be the reason why it came back past.
You might be the reason I need to speak with Mr.
That's my probation officers. Now I have clean at all time. Mr.
(05:38):
You shouldn't be calling me. I should be calling you
because I'm gonna ever dently. I'm gonna have to come
down the hall you're behind in myself where you can
bring your song. And when you call me to bring
Mr with you here and let you know I have
no ties of you can come to my job. I
got you got let me know what. There's one more
There's one more thing that I need to bring you.
(06:00):
All right now, I got one more thing I need
to say to you. Are you listening to me? What
is it? Sir? This is Nephew timing from the Steve
Harvey Morning Show. You just got pregned by your sister Alan.
I know one thing. I'll played too much. I'll play
too much. But I'm coming to give him Mr Roger.
(06:23):
She gonna get out of me thinking I was doing
didn't know about it like this? Okay for you, all right,
I'm not I'm nervous. It's your sister. She putting me
(06:44):
up to it. Baby. Well, when you ever see her,
you see what she looked like. I'm gonna be the
hell out. I got one more question for your baby.
You got to tell me this. What is the baddest
I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land,
the st stupid at its best, the Nephew. I'm not
gonna let you down. I'm promising when you're tune in
(07:06):
in the morning from six to ten or five to nine,
depending on where you are, I promise you stupid would
be here for four hours all right before I had
to prank, asked, I want some way I can take
Jackie out in Vegas like a nice The Prime has
always been one of my favorite places in Vegas, downstairs
in the Bellagio. Also, The Wind has a really really
(07:30):
nice top of the line restaurant with like a laser
show outside of it, not the fountains, a different type
of laser show that they out. Huh, what are you
talking about? Is it called Lakeside Fantastic girl? Sure, let's
(07:54):
stop Jesus. It's in the Wind. I don't I don't
know the name of it. But they have nice little
laser shows that restaurant. It's nice. I very rarely take
Marjorie to Vegas anymore because I go out there to
gamble hard, and all my meals is at the twenty
four hour restaurant breakfast. I'm not having any of that.
(08:20):
I ain't got no time for this here. I got
to eat and get back out here. She wants to
see shows, want well, Margie don't want to go shows,
but she don't like losing, and that's her problem. Man,
Margine losing two hundred dollars oh she she mad at
the dealer, the machine. I'm done too with her. That
(08:42):
I am done. I'm playing some roulette though, that I'm
gonna do. I'm doing that. Yeah, Vegas is open, baby,
it's back open. Yeah, you're going to see ersha Usan ersha.
Oh they got a no booze out that timming Nobles
and it got a Nobles hot dude. All right, all right, well,
(09:05):
thank you, nephew. Coming up next, Strawberry letter. He doesn't
like different types of cookies. We'll get into that right
after this. You're listening to the name Harvey Morning Show.
Well, coming up at the top of the hour, right
about four minutes after, it's my strawberry letter for today.
The subject he doesn't like different types of cookies. We'll
get into that in just a little bit. For a minute, man,
ain't nothing, but right now the nephew is in the
building because it is time for today's prank phone call.
(00:23):
What's you guy for us? You know, before we do that,
I got think about this. Why while we run this prank,
I got to take Jackie somewhere in Vegas. I need
a nice restaurant, nice romantic evening. Think about that while
run this prank. Alright, this right here is Ms Fade
Allen's drug test. Miss Faye Allen's drug test. Let's go. Hello. Hello,
(00:48):
I'm trying to reach a Faye place. This is Hello.
This is Officer Rodgers from the Probation Department. Yes, sir, listen,
Now you have been in UH on probation for a
little over a year now, all right, faith, Now you're
supposed to be serving two years probation. All right, now
(01:11):
I'm giving you a call actually bringing you a bit
of bad news. And I hate to do this, but
you you came in for a couple um, a couple
of weeks ago and did a did a drug test?
Am I right? All right now, I don't I hate
to bring you some bad news, but the actual drug
test that you took has come back positive. That's a lot.
(01:35):
That's a lot. That's a Wait a minute, Wait a minute. Now,
you came in a couple of weeks ago, you took
a drug test. This drug test is actually come in positive.
Now what I want to say to use this You're
gonna have to actually hold on a second. I either
need you to come into me or I don't, And
(01:55):
I don't want to save the embarrassment of having to
send a car out to pick you up. Now, not
embarrassments you're talking about, sir. I gave you some was good, ma'am.
Right now, I got you have a positive drug Tell
you have you you you come up positive? Man, Now
you gotta we used the one that you brought us
(02:19):
now must have been the wrong one. Couldn't have been, sir.
I'm sorry, sir, but I wouldn't have gave you a
bad year. And it just wouldn't me, ma'am. I don't
want to have it back to jail. I don't even
know why you would call me with this nonsense. I
got children. I'm trying to do right. I don't know
why you would call me. I wouldn't have game. You
know bad. That's not me, saud fly ma'am you have
(02:40):
to come in and do another three months now, oh, sir,
can come pick me up. I can tell you right now.
I can ple in your hand if you want me to. Ma'am,
your your yearine has come back positive of drugs. Now,
I don't I don't know any other way to explain
it to you. You've been actually evidently using drugs again, sir,
(03:01):
I'm trying to tell you I don't use no drugs.
I've been cleaned for a year and some months. Now
you got the wrong. That's not my How do you
telling you that? How do you know it's not yours? Ma'am?
It's got your name on the lid. Everything you have
come back positive whatever dinnly you put your name on it,
(03:22):
because that ain't came back, would have came back good.
You can't tell me and tell me I gave you
some man? Can me and tell me that that's a negative, sir,
that's a double negative. It's not a double negative, it's
a double positive, you've actually come back positive? Say he
has written here on the actual cup. Fake. No, No,
(03:43):
we don't have more than one faith. You're the only
thing I've actually double checked out myself. You need to
either come in or we got to come out and
all you're behind in here. Well, I need you to
come right now, cause I got some right now, right now.
Are you trying to tell me that if I come
and pick you up and tell your YearIn now, your
YearIn is gonna come up negative? Is that what you're saying.
I'm telling you that you're up terrible positive with that,
(04:07):
my yearine is gonna come up negative? Ma'am. I hate
to I don't want to come out all year in
front of your family, but you're actually gonna be coming
in and you're gonna do three months. That's all I
can tell you. You've got confident. You got the wrong
saying hellnor you got the wrong. It's one of the two.
Might be both you got the wrong, you got the wrong, fake.
(04:29):
I'm letting you positive positive. I'm trying to tell you
I got kids, man, I ain't had no positive. Listen, ma'am,
I'm telling you one more time. You either want to
come in or want me to come and get you.
What's one? Let me tell you what I want you
to do. I want you to find out who you have,
because that ain't money. Don't know. I'm gonna tell me
(04:52):
nothing about you got some some that that is not good.
I gave you some good times. I got to y'all.
Y'all keep picking up people, soft, fair kills and folks
y'all had me says time miss my children. Now I'm
I mean giving you good and you say I want
to with me, I'm dad. I ain't getting a bed.
(05:14):
I'm calling no more like that. And well is my
probation office? You say your name is? My name is
Officer Rogers. I don't know Officer Rogers. Like I said,
you might be the reason why it came back past.
You might be the reason I need to speak with Mr.
That's my probation officers. Now I have clean at all time. Mr.
(05:38):
You shouldn't be calling me. I should be calling you
because I'm gonna ever dently. I'm gonna have to come
down the hall you're behind in myself where you can
bring your song. And when you call me to bring
Mr with you here and let you know I have
no ties of you can come to my job. I
got you got let me know what. There's one more
There's one more thing that I need to bring you.
(06:00):
All right now, I got one more thing I need
to say to you. Are you listening to me? What
is it? Sir? This is Nephew timing from the Steve
Harvey Morning Show. You just got pregned by your sister Alan.
I know one thing. I'll played too much. I'll play
too much. But I'm coming to give him Mr Roger.
(06:23):
She gonna get out of me thinking I was doing
didn't know about it like this? Okay for you, all right,
I'm not I'm nervous. It's your sister. She putting me
(06:44):
up to it. Baby. Well, when you ever see her,
you see what she looked like. I'm gonna be the
hell out. I got one more question for your baby.
You got to tell me this. What is the baddest
I'm talking about the baddest radio show in the land,
the st stupid at its best, the Nephew. I'm not
gonna let you down. I'm promising when you're tune in
(07:06):
in the morning from six to ten or five to nine,
depending on where you are, I promise you stupid would
be here for four hours all right before I had
to prank, asked, I want some way I can take
Jackie out in Vegas like a nice The Prime has
always been one of my favorite places in Vegas, downstairs
in the Bellagio. Also, The Wind has a really really
(07:30):
nice top of the line restaurant with like a laser
show outside of it, not the fountains, a different type
of laser show that they out. Huh, what are you
talking about? Is it called Lakeside Fantastic girl? Sure, let's
(07:54):
stop Jesus. It's in the Wind. I don't I don't
know the name of it. But they have nice little
laser shows that restaurant. It's nice. I very rarely take
Marjorie to Vegas anymore because I go out there to
gamble hard, and all my meals is at the twenty
four hour restaurant breakfast. I'm not having any of that.
(08:20):
I ain't got no time for this here. I got
to eat and get back out here. She wants to
see shows, want well, Margie don't want to go shows,
but she don't like losing, and that's her problem. Man,
Margine losing two hundred dollars oh she she mad at
the dealer, the machine. I'm done too with her. That
(08:42):
I am done. I'm playing some roulette though, that I'm
gonna do. I'm doing that. Yeah, Vegas is open, baby,
it's back open. Yeah, you're going to see ersha Usan ersha.
Oh they got a no booze out that timming Nobles
and it got a Nobles hot dude. All right, all right, well,
(09:05):
thank you, nephew. Coming up next, Strawberry letter. He doesn't
like different types of cookies. We'll get into that right
after this. You're listening to the name Harvey Morning Show.
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