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January 12, 2024 10 mins
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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Donkey Today is sponsored by renowned personal injury attorney Michael
the Bull Lamb is soft. Don't be a donkey when
you need a fighter on your side. If you're ever injured,
go to Michael to bull dot com. That's Michael to
bull dot com. And when you mess with the bull,
you get the horns.

Speaker 2 (00:13):
Make sure you're telling them to watch out of Florida.

Speaker 1 (00:15):
Malora, Malora, The craziest people in America come from the
Bronx and all of four.

Speaker 2 (00:21):
Yes, you are a donkey. The Florida man attacked an
ATM for a very strange reason. It gave him too
much money.

Speaker 3 (00:29):
Florida man is arrested after that, say he riggs the
door to his home in an attempt to electric hit
his President Whites Police.

Speaker 2 (00:35):
Arrested at Orlando man we're talking about from Luna the
breakfast club.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
Bitch you donkey other day, j'allam Haine a god.

Speaker 2 (00:41):
I don't know why y'all keep letting him get y'all electric.
It's not me as y'all.

Speaker 1 (00:44):
Donkey Today for Friday, January twelfth goes to a thirty
three year old Florida man named Kurt Beck. What does
your uncle Shalla always say about the great State of Florida.
The craziest people in America come from the Bronx and
all of Florida, and today is no exception. This is
actually the first Florida Donkey of twenty twenty four. I
know we just got back on the eighth, but you
mean to tell me Florida went all week without getting

(01:06):
the Donkey of the day. What happened Florida, y'all got saved.
Did Eric Abadu go down there and saved the whole state?
Did Sara Jakes Roberts say have prayed for Florida?

Speaker 2 (01:14):
What's happening? Did everyone in Florida make a New Year's
resolution and not be donkey of the day.

Speaker 1 (01:18):
No, mo, Well, Kurt has already broke that resolution, and honestly,
I have empathy for him. So ye'all try not to
judge people based on what they do when they are
in survival mode. And if I'm being honest, Kurt was
just trying to survive. And yes, he did break the law,
which is the reason he's getting donkey of to day
to day. But I feel like deputies with the Volisia
County Sheriffs should have a heart Okay, you don't got
to be ten men all your life, and even the

(01:38):
ten man long for a heart. See according to an
arrest Affidavid, a cashier witness the man in the jacket
leaving the store while concealing several bags of one of
the greatest comfort foods ever created, a food that brings
so many people together and brings us so much joy
and causes us to socialize. And that food, ladies and gettlemen,
is crablakes, tropla clues bond for crabs. Okay, now this

(02:01):
is Florida, so it's always an amazing, amazing plot twist. Now,
Kurt had a friend with him. With the friend didn't
steal anything, he was serving his mare, but lookout as
sexy decoy and he walked behind kurtis they exited the store.
Now a store manager followed them out. Why why huh huh?

Speaker 2 (02:17):
Whoever?

Speaker 1 (02:17):
The store manager is, just know when Dixie ain't dying
for you, okay, not nobody, and when Dixie is gonna
put their life on the line to you. So why
would you follow somebody outside and confront them over stealing
krab legs?

Speaker 2 (02:30):
Okay?

Speaker 1 (02:30):
The only logical answer is there was like this crab
leg shortage last year on red and blue kingkrabs. And maybe,
just maybe this storet manager was planning the makea sea
food boil, but he couldn't afford the crab legs until
he got his next check. And if curtis stealing krab legs,
and it won't be no crab legs for the store manager,
store manager to buy when he gets paid.

Speaker 2 (02:46):
Okay, now I made this whole story up in my head.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
But the moral of it is, if I'm a store
manager at when Dixie, I'm not following you outside for nothing. Okay,
you can have whatever you stole, go home and crack
those crab legs will be a But if I follow
you outside and confront you and you cracked my head
open like a king krab leg, then I won't be well.
According to the arrest, after David, the Mint attempt to
be leave, but their car wouldn't start. Florida Ladies, and

(03:10):
get them in Florida, the car would not start. That's
gotta feel like Bruce Banner in Infinity War when Halt
couldn't come out to fight. I mean, of all the
times for you not to start miss the car, you're
gonna choose right now. If this isn't God letting you
know that you're doing something wrong, then I don't know
what it is. Oh, with the tangled web we weave
when we steal crab legs and try to leave. Now
it gets better. Kurt, after his car wouldn't start, simply

(03:31):
tried to give the krab legs back to the store manager. Now,
if you ask me, the store manager should have just
felt pity for these fools and taking the krab legs back.
But no, this store manager said he was going to
pursue criminal charges. He said when Dixie was going to
pursue criminal charges. I don't agree. But this man, Kirk,
did break the law. So after they were in custody, right,

(03:52):
Kurt admitted during question it he knew what he did
was wrong.

Speaker 2 (03:55):
Duh.

Speaker 1 (03:56):
Of course he knew it was wrong, but it was
a chance he was willing to take. Because what is
a seafood boil with our krab legs?

Speaker 2 (04:02):
All right? This man had to get together plans. Clearly
a whole crab crack.

Speaker 1 (04:05):
He didn't have money for the krab legs because he
probably spend his money on beer.

Speaker 2 (04:09):
Hell is Florida, so you probably spent money on some
meth too.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
And fun fact, a couple of days ago, authorities found
some meth and a crab boil at a Louisiana airport.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
True story. Do your google's but back to Florida.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
When police questioned kurtz homie that was with him, deputies
learned that he did not steal any merchandise and was
acting only as the driver for Kurt due to Kurt's
license being suspended. Nothing like a criminal with a conscience.
All right, he knows he can't commit two crimes. But
if you ain't got no license and you don't got

(04:43):
the kind of car, that's thoughts. When you want to you.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Probably need to keep your getaway driving to a minimum.

Speaker 1 (04:48):
And the way you keep your getaway driving to a
minimum is by not committing the.

Speaker 2 (04:52):
Crime in the first place.

Speaker 1 (04:54):
Now, we have a person who works here on the
breakfast club you have affectionately heard and me refer to
him as the president of the Fat Lives Matter Committee.
He actually started with us here at the breakfast club
is and then turned back in like twenty eleven or
twenty twelve.

Speaker 2 (05:09):
And he's back with us now. He was back with
us all last year.

Speaker 1 (05:11):
And you know he didn't want to get on camera
till you lost some weight, because you know, camera ads
about ten pounds.

Speaker 2 (05:16):
So he lost the weight, did he? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (05:18):
And he would like to come in and explain to
us why Kurt doesn't deserve donkey of the day at all.

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Ladies and gentlemen.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
You see him on wild'n Out, You see him on
the road doing stand up as one half of the
duo Thick and Thin. Please welcome the president of the
Fat Lives Matter Committee.

Speaker 2 (05:31):
Big Mac is here. Yes, our fat Mac, As Rose
calls him, Hey, did he lose? He did? He did?
He did?

Speaker 1 (05:41):
He looks dit he tell me, tell me Mac, why
Kurt doesn't deserve donkey at all?

Speaker 4 (05:49):
One word? Inflation?

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Have you heard of it?

Speaker 4 (05:52):
Like, come on now, the price of anything is way
too high now to the point where I'm surprised it's
not more that just happening.

Speaker 1 (05:58):
Yeah, higher food prices did boost We're all inflation and
December that is true.

Speaker 2 (06:01):
How has it impacted you in fact?

Speaker 4 (06:03):
To me, come on now, I'm the president of the
FATA Lives medic If the whole committee we had all
type of meaning. So I did some independent research, right,
So the fact that crab legs. If you want three
pounds of it is going for about two hundred right now,
two hundred, which is kind of crazy because now I
understand why mister crabs was so cheap, because people's coming
after him to get that two hundred. It's a lot

(06:24):
right now.

Speaker 1 (06:24):
So you guys told about six pounds of crabs, crazy
to understanding.

Speaker 3 (06:27):
You ain't got you ain't got that much money. How
many pounds do you eat yourself? How many pounds do
you eat yourself?

Speaker 4 (06:32):
A metric ton is actually how it comes up on
the scale. Google that anyway. I'm so lobster tails crazy
buck fifty a pound a buck fifty for some lobster tail. Damn,
where are you shopping that? Listen, I'm trying to tell you.
See you guys, you guys, this is you on the
rich side of the grocery store. This is the regular people.
They trying to tax us early. But while I'm here,

(06:53):
you know what I mean, I don't really get this opportunity.
While I'm here and I got your ear, I got
some other issues of the quarter pounds of whicheese, the
value about fourteen dollars.

Speaker 3 (07:01):
That's too expensive now, it's way too because the number two, right,
the two teess Burgers used to be three ninety nine crazy,
That was like eight dollars.

Speaker 4 (07:07):
Not too much.

Speaker 2 (07:08):
That double quarter powder better looked like.

Speaker 4 (07:09):
Me for fourteen dollars. God, that's not a value, man,
What value was that? That's crazy? The price of eggs
at one point were more expensive than Hunter Biden's cocaine.
That that right there, And that's how you start your
day with eggs. You guys eat eggs. Oh well, I've
seen Charlotte Mane need eggs. Eggs you eat? How much
is the baker's Was it like thirteen thirteen?

Speaker 2 (07:32):
Two of them? Two bakers? Jesus Christ? Yeah, kool Aid?

Speaker 4 (07:36):
I don't know last time y'all bought kol Aid? Remember
the little package? Forty nine cents? Growing up it was
ten cents. You know what I mean? You can get
a fifty cent. You can get five of all the flavors, red,
great fruit print, Now fifty cents, get you won?

Speaker 2 (07:50):
I hate awf passionate you are about this?

Speaker 4 (07:51):
Nah, listen, I don't get this opportunity and listen. Stores
Arizon the iced teas it says not even I said
on the can, don't be charging me a buck.

Speaker 2 (07:58):
Fifty for that it still say nine.

Speaker 4 (08:01):
It says ninety nine cents on it when I buy
it and I ring and guess what it says one fifty.
I'm like, nah, bro, that's gonna come out of your pocket.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
All his youre talking about a bunch of stuff you
shouldn't be.

Speaker 4 (08:10):
No and chip and dip. I gotta make a decision
in the store. Do I want the chip or do
I want the dip? Because they're so expensive and wild?

Speaker 2 (08:18):
You say, do you nah?

Speaker 4 (08:20):
I'm like my man in Florida, I'm stealing it.

Speaker 2 (08:22):
You put it under your role.

Speaker 4 (08:23):
I'm putting whatever it's cheaper. I asked what I'm going
through the you know, the self checkout of Warmer. I
go through there, but the rest of it, I put
it all on my rolls and folds.

Speaker 2 (08:32):
We gotta get you more money up here, man shout
out to Florida. We gotta gethim on a diet like.

Speaker 4 (08:38):
Listen, I don't. I don't do anything that has the
word dyeing it. It just doesn't sound good.

Speaker 1 (08:42):
So oh God, please give uh what's the guy's name,
Kurt Back the biggest Hea Hall, Jesus, I like this
Whiting is three fifty a pound two but the white
and too damn high as well.

Speaker 2 (08:56):
You don't playa no, I don't. I won't play I do.
I won't play again. Guess how much Mac.

Speaker 4 (09:08):
Guess how much Mack he weighs. I think he went
two seventy five.

Speaker 2 (09:14):
Leave him alone.

Speaker 4 (09:14):
I'll say, Uh, I'm not playing it. Carry the two
both legs or one leg.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
I'm not having three pounds.

Speaker 4 (09:21):
I think it's took three pounds.

Speaker 2 (09:22):
I'm not having this conversation.

Speaker 4 (09:24):
He always That's what I'm talking about. Schelde's twenty twenty four.
All that fat shaming he was doing all twenty twenty three.

Speaker 2 (09:29):
It's over for that. I've never fat shamedy.

Speaker 4 (09:31):
Shout to everybody that's sweat sitting down we out here,
whoa Jesus Christ, mind you up? All right? Well, thank
you to beer, to big Mac.

Speaker 2 (09:40):
Whoa mister, I have a stomach, growler Mac calling you?
He's just hungry.

Speaker 4 (09:48):
All right now.

Speaker 3 (09:49):
When we come back, Dean Phillips will be joining us.
He's running for president. Uh and we'll see.

Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yes, he's also the US Representative of Minnesota, and he's
the twenty twenty four president of your candidate's actual you're
the only person in the Democratic Party who's actually a
member of Congress who decided to challenge President Biden.

Speaker 4 (10:05):
And he said his career is over because of it.
And I hope he bring down the food prices. If
you get in there, that's all you care about it.
I mean, that's an important boat. Your interest bactive side.
We're gonna talk to him when we come back, and
don't move. It's to Breakfast Club.

Speaker 2 (10:17):
Good morning, the Breakfast Club.

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