Today on The Breakfast, Dr. Judith Joseph Discuss 'High Functioning,' Hidden Depression, Burnout, Achieving Joy. Listen For More!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Breakfast Club Morning, everybody is dj n V Jess Hilarious,
Charlamage the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got
a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed we have to.
We have doctor Judith Joseph.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Welcome, Thank you so great to be here. Yes, Happy
Mental Health Awareness Month.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Do you have a new book out now called high
Functioning Overcome your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
What does hidden depression look like?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Ooh, so hidden depression is not like the typical depression.
When people think of depression, they think is someone crying?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
I get out of bed?
Speaker 3 (00:34):
But hidden depression hides behind a mask of pathologically being
pathologically productive. So imagine you know a single mom working
to take care of her kids, working at her job,
and she cannot sow down. People depend on her, So
what does she do. She shows up to work with
a smile on her face. She's showing up for others,
but she feels no joy. And it's something called anne hendonia.
(00:58):
It's a scientific term that I study in live People
don't even know it exists. So hidden depression doesn't necessarily
look sad, but it doesn't feel joy.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
It feels empty, and.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
I actually, I have a friend who just experienced that, right,
And he called me with like like he had just
hit the lottery. Though it was so it was it
was unusual. I don't like to say weird.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
It's so unusual.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
He called me and say, yo, I just figured something out.
I'm like what He was like, I've been depressed all
this time.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I'm depressed.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
And I'm like, why you why why you you want
a stay or a cookie?
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Like why are you so excited about it? Like this
is not good news?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
He was like, no, no, na, like I'm not suicidal
or anything. I've just been burying myself in my work
and I am the most productive, but I'm not happy.
My wife she gets no attention from me. I'm not
like mentally there for my kids. And I just found out.
I was talking to my therapist and we you know,
and he got he was diagnosed and he has uh
(01:55):
he he's depressed. And it was so crazy because I
wh when you think of depression, you know, you think
of you know, the suicidal thoughts and you say, damn,
you can't get out of bed.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
He was the opposite, but he was still depressed. So
I just I just found that out.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Wow. Yeah, you know why he was happy. It was
because there's a term in psychology called affect labeling. When
you know what you're dealing with, the uncertainty of not
knowing how you feel just makes you feel so stressed.
You feel like, Okay, maybe there's something wrong with me,
what I have to complain about. Maybe it's my fault.
But when someone tells you no, what you're experiencing is
a hadonia, it's actually a scientific symptom. Many people struggle
(02:33):
with it. Then you feel as if, Okay, it's not
my fault. There's a term for this. I know what
I'm working with hare so I can do something about it.
And as human beings, our birthright is joy. Like joy
is literally built into our DNA, and if we can't
access that joy, that's a problem. So just because someone's
not getting out, not you know, in bed and crying
all day, doesn't mean that it's not a problem. We
(02:54):
have to address this lack of joy.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How do you get out of it? Right?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So, let's say you work with somebody who bullies you
all the time, says you're Spanish when you're black. You
know somebody who has a bad wig and you have
to see it all the time. How do you get
out of that place of working with them? Because you
got to go to work looking at me like that.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You gotta make money, So how do you get out
of that? Because the people that don't want to work
with how do you get out of that?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
But you know what he's doing right now, He's accessing joy,
being playful, being comical. He is finding a way through
a difficult situation by accessing joy.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Right.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
But many of us just go to work and.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
We do serious.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
If you work with somebody that you don't like, but
you still need to get money. I'm not talking about
Sheelamane or just a Lauren, but when people that you
know don't like their job. But how do you continue
to go through that? Because you still need money? You
still got to pay for the food on the table,
You still gotta pay for rent, you still gotta pay
for your car, you still gotta pay.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
For your kids. How do you get through that? What
do you tell people to do?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
There's actually a term in my book called the biopsychosocial model. Right,
So what you're talking about and what you so eloquently said,
it's actually a model used by every single medical student
in the world. Right, the biopsychosocial is like a fingerprint.
We all have our fingerprints, but it's all unique. So
we each have a biopsychosocial. So, for example, the person
you're talking about, the biopsychosocial for that person, socially, what's
(04:15):
happening is that they're in this stressful situation. They're not supported,
they're actually being you know, there's microaggressions, maybe macroaggressions at work,
but that's just one part of why they're no longer happy.
It's one of the things that's draining the science of
their happiness.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
The other parts of that model are the biological. So
maybe this person also has a medical condition like I
don't know, diabetes, or psychologically they have past trauma. So
all of those things play into what's taking away from
their points of joy. So understanding where the stressors are
and what's causing you to be unhappy is important.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
But even within.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Stressful situations, because I've traveled the world over thirty countries
looking at joy, even when people don't have running water,
even when they're in war zones, they can still access.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Joy, something that makes you happy.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
With those of decisue.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Because joy is a survival technique. We have to access
joy in order to survive, not just to thrive, but
to survive. So you can find ways at work to
connect with someone else. Maybe someone else is going through
it with you, so you're sharing your venting. You know,
maybe you can use a candle at work or something
fragrant to stimulate the senses, or make sure that you're
leaving work and having lunch like a human being instead
(05:24):
of being in front of a screen. Right, there are
things ways that you can access joy because it's a
survival technique.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
I believe that. I believe joy is survival technique. We
actually had liz on we were talking about that. But
I also feel like some people fake happy and they
fake joy, So what does the real joy look like?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
That's why I say, understand the science of your happiness.
There's only one Leonard, There's only one Judith, you know,
ever in the history of the universe, in the future.
So what is it about you that makes you joyful?
And in my research lab, when we're studying joy, we're
actually adding up points. For example, if you took a
rest and you woke up, did you feel refreshed? That's
(06:02):
a point if you were hungry and you savored your meal,
that's a point. If you were lonely you connected with someone,
that's a point. But the rest of the world is
so busy chasing this idea of happy. Right, I will
be happy when I get the perfect partner. I'll be
happy when a pay up on debt, I'll be happy
when I have a house. The science shows us that
even when those things happen, we're still not happy. So
we have to access the points of joy that really
(06:24):
feed into our unique sense of happiness. For me, it's connection.
If I'm busy, if I'm speaking at places, if I'm
on TV all the time and I'm not connecting with
my family, I'm gonna be unhappy. But for you it
could be something else.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
What are the signs of hidden depression and high functioning depression.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Yes, so many people confuse high function depression with burnout.
The difference is that, you know, for burnout, let's say
you go to a party and you say I'm burnt out,
people are like, oh, me too, me three right. But
if you walk into a party and you say I'm depressed,
people are like, oh, you should do something about that, right,
Like like your friend right.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Living.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
So when you think about burnout, right, burnout by definition
is an occupational hazard when though who the World Health
Organization classified it, it's the workplace causing the symptoms. So technically,
you take the person out of the workplace, they should
get better. With high functioning folks, even when you take
them out of the workplace, they're not better. What are
they doing. They're busying themselves on a side hustler too.
(07:26):
They're taking on somebody's problems. They can't sit still, they're
cleaning out their house or the garage, right, because it's
not the workplace. It's not something on the outside, it's
something inside that's unresolved. So this hidden trauma, this unresolved pain.
So they're trying to outrun it by busying themselves. So
when they sit still, they feel empty. When they're not working,
they feel restless.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Let me ask you a question. I feel like and
this is a good thing, but I also feel like
it's a bad thing. I feel like in the last
ten years, so many people have been talking about all
these mental health issues and terms. Does it Sometimes I
feel like it's an overload because it's like, you know,
you get a pain, right, you google it and it
is thirty things that's wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Now you're even more confused.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Right, is that the same thing with a lot of
sometimes with a lot of these terms, like when you
hear certain things, is now I'm depressed, Now I'm a
high function in depressed. Now I have anxiety. Now I
have this like do you feel like it's too much
for people? And how can people really break that all
down and realize what they really have and which really
bought them because everything sounds the same at sometimes.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I mean, it's a great question. But the term effect
labeling in psychology shows us that when you can name
it appropriately right, it decreases the anxiety. Think about if
you were in a room you know it's pitch black,
and you heard a loud crash. Some of us would
start swinging, someone start screaming, someone start running. But if
you turn that light on and you saw what it was,
a osfel or some inotimant object, you feel relaxed. Why
(08:49):
Because you know what you're doing, you know what it is.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
It's the not knowing and not naming appropriately that creates
a lot of anxiety. So people end up just drinking
a lot right to soothe that thing because they don't
know what it is, or they end up gambling or
spending a lot of money or doing things busying themselves
to outrun this pain they don't understand.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
And it's interesting too because you know, I think what
is speaking to to me anyway is the fact that
there was a time when nobody used to talk about
their mental health issues. So we went from saying we
don't speak about this at all. In order to eradicate
the stigma, we got to tell our story. So now
people are not just going out there to get help
and understanding what they're dealing with.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
They're telling their stories.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
They're telling their story. But still the older generations are
not as open, right, the younger ones they want to
talk about it. They want to feel seen, they want
to feel connected, and many of them do sometimes inappropriately
use a label to connect. Right, But there's still a
lot of stigma. You know, the places I go, the
corporations I go to, it's still more accepted to say
burnt out than depressed. But we have to name what
(09:47):
it is because the supports are going to look very different,
the resources look very different.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
Now, how do you know the different between somebody who's
staying busy as a response to trauma to somebody who's
actually really.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Busy, yes, great question. It's antedonia. You know, when you
ask someone who's busy but they're actually pathologically productive, they're
not getting joy. You know. They end up at my
office in Manhattan and they're like, I don't know what's wrong.
Everything looks good on the outside, but I just don't
feel joyful. Whereas someone who's actually engaged in what they're doing,
they got the pep in their step. They're engaged and
(10:20):
they're connected, and they're feeling as if they're getting a
sense of purpose Versus when you keep doing over time
without actually tapping into purpose, you do feel numb. You're like,
why am I doing this? But you cannot stop because
you're trying to outrun something that you don't even know
is there.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Now.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
You talked about, you know, working and being at rest,
So how do you know when you're at rest and
being okay with being at rest.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
One of the points of joy that we measure in
my research lab is actually that it's called psychomorgoric at agitation.
It's a terrible scientific term, but what it means is
that you can't sit still. You just on edge. And
when you add a points of joy, being able to
be calm and not stressed is actually a point that
many many of us leave on the table. We often think, oh,
that's anxiety and not depression. But no, it's almost like
(11:05):
a different side of the same coin. Right, You can't
be joyful if you're stressed. Do you know anyone who's
been really stressed out who is like also joyful? No? Then,
and look at the monks and other countries and the gurus.
They may have just a mat to sleep on and
bread and water, but they are joyful because they're at peace.
So if you're not feeling that sense of peace and
you have that inner restlessness, it's really difficult to be joyful.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
What does everybody's piece the same piece?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Though?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
It's not? And that's why I said to understand the
science of your happiness. In my book, I actually have
that model so that I democratize this information. Why are
just the doctors and medical students holding onto this. Every
patient that comes to my lab draws their own biopsychosocial right,
So you want to figure out what are the things
that are taking away from my happiness?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Right?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
If you don't understand what's taking away their points of joy.
How can you understand the science of your happiness? So
in some cases, you're going to look at the social factors, Right,
someone who is partner with somebody who's toxic. I mean,
they could eat all the care they want, They're still
going to be unhappy, right, Versus somebody who, let's say
psychologically they dealt with a lot of trauma in their childhood, neglected, abused.
(12:08):
We need to address that first because it's really hard
to act as story when you're in fight or flight.
And then biologically, let's say, if someone who has an
autoimmune condition, right, if you're constantly in a state of
high inflammation, your brain's not going to be happy. So
everyone's so unique, but we're chasing things that work for
other people without understanding our own science.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
And going back to what you said just a minute ago,
when you were saying, people bury themselves in work and
they have to be doing something all the time.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
They're always at their busiest. How do you I don't know,
how did I see?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Like?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
How are you supposed to feel when you do nothing? Yes? Like,
how are you know what I'm saying? Like, how are
you supposed to feel? And you just do nothing.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
My clients ask me that all the time, because high
functioning folks have something called all or nothing thinking. When
you tell them that you need to slow down, they're like, well,
I can't stop, and I'm like, hold on a second. Stopping
is not equivalent to slowing down. But their role, their
sense of their worth is so tied closely to what
they do. They feel like without their role, they are unlovable,
(13:07):
that they are lazy. Yeah, right, So we have to
challenge a lot of that. And in the PTSD, the
post traumatic stress research that I do with combat veterans,
what we see is that, you know, people who are
triggered by things like let's say a situation, a person,
a place, you know, they avoid those things, right, But
those of us who are pathologically productive with high function depression,
(13:29):
we avoid dealing with the pain by working. So a
lot of it is unpacking what are you running from? Right?
You think you're chasing this gold is happiness, but what
are you actually running from?
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Right?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
And the trauma response of I don't feel worthy without
my role, you know, that is exactly it. They don't
even realize it's tied to some past unprocessed pain. So
a lot of times we spend going back in the past.
I'll ask them to, you know, open up their phones
or bring in old pictures so we can trace back
to a time when they actually were feeling purposeful and
(13:59):
tapping into joy, and we try to figure out and
unpack what was that trauma. And then we spend a
lot of time in grounding.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Grounding techniques help you to calm that fight or flight
because that busyness is you trying to outrun this past.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
So it doesn't like flashback, it doesn't like nightmares, but
it's this busyness because you're trying to outrun your in
fight or flight. But we spend a lot of time
with grounding, and I talk about the techniques of my book,
so they feel at ease when they sit still.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
We're talking to doctor Joseph Judith Joseph Us. She has
a new book out, High Functioning, Overcome your Hidden Depression
and Reclaim Your Joy.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Which you gonna say, just uh, what you like live
here in Manhattan.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
You can't ground out there actually can.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Great question, you know, I actually talk. That's a good one.
And I taught this course, the same one I'm teaching
about at the White House.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Talk about people who are in high stress situations at work.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I taught them how they can actually ground at their desk.
And there's a technique called the five four three two one.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
You can do it with a beverage.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
Like a coffee or a tea.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
But what you do is you sit and for five
minutes every day you practice this, you hold onto that
tee and you list five things you can see, so
you describe the cup, describe the liquid, You describe your hand,
the table, like you're really describing. Five things that you see,
the color. Four things that you feel, so you feel
the cup, you feel the warmth, you feel the chair,
(15:23):
You feel the ground under your feet. Three things that
you can hear, so you may hear some wind outside,
you may hear music, you may hear the sound of
the beverage. Two things that you can smell. You smell
the fragrances in the cup and on you. One thing
you can taste, you sip it. If you're doing five
for three two one in that way, you're not thinking
about your past pay, you're not getting trigger, you're not
thinking about you know what's happening around you. You're so
(15:44):
present and you're teaching your brain that you have the
capacity to sit still and to be present, because when
we don't process that fight or flight, we feel disconnected
from our bodies. But the grounding techniques allows us to
sit still and just do nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
You need to rest to find be.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I think so it's one of the points of joy,
you know. Excuse me, it's really difficult to access joy
when you are restless. It's really difficult to access that
feeling of happiness and pleasure when you have when you're
in fight or flight. Right, So it's important to practice
these peaceful methods.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I think. I keep I'm hung up on this.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
One question you asked earlier was like, can you feel
joy when you're stressed?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
It's very, very difficult. It's super difficult, you know, Like
imagine when you're stressed and you're sitting eating your food.
Many times we'll like finish the bowl and we don't
even know we finished our plate, right, because our brain
was somewhere else. So we missed out on a point
of joy, right, We weren't tasting the crunchy salad or
the dressings.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Right.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
That's crazy, Yeah, like mostly.
Speaker 5 (16:48):
Not even everything's not trying to sound like a client
here or anything like that. But a lot of things
that you're saying, like I like live this every day,
Like I'll heat something up and then do something else
and if forget that I'm even forget that I'm hungry
and then do it because I'm trying to keep myself busy.
Like I wake up every morning at four, being here
at six, we get done at a certain time, I
(17:10):
go home, then I work.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
On other businesses and I do and then I have an.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Eight month old baby, and I have a thirteen year
old son, and I'm married, and it's so many different things, right,
and the drugs and the drugs, so so yeah, he
does not have to put it all the day late day.
But yes, what I find for me, speaking of drugs,
at the end of the night a good like pre
(17:33):
roll Like for me, we that calms me down. I'm
able to relax and just like take a breath. But
by the time that is, that's like twelve one o'clock
in the morning, I.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Got to be back up at four.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yeah, it's like, but I don't think I'm stressed all
the prices. It's like, what the hell is going on?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Then maybe I'm not your doctor, but a lot of
people like you who have busy careers, families, a lot
of responsibilities.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
They're caretakers.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Right in my stof the first ever published in the
world on high function depression, a lot of caretakers, a
lot of caregivers, they experience that lack of joy. Why
because they're so busy in their minds, they're so restless
that they're missing out the precious baby's face in front
of them, who wants to snuggle with you? Right, you
lost the point right there, because when you snuggle, you're
getting oxytocin, right, You're getting that attachment hormone. And you know,
(18:21):
many times I hear a lot of people saying they're
intimate with their partners and they just can't wait to
get over what because they just want to You know,
they're not they're missing out. That's a point of joy
for human beings, right, Sleep is a point of joy.
But many of us are spending our times on our
phones before we go to bed, so that's disrupting our sleep.
So we are losing so many points because we cannot
sit still.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
What about the water too, what about the the five's?
Can you break down the concept of healing with the five's.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Well, the reason I the reason I came up with
the fives, I got a point of joy there. My
thirst is because when I travel the world, the number
or five comes up in a lot of countries. Right,
So I want people to envision their hand and say
to themselves, like, I am built with the DNA for joy.
(19:07):
It is my birthright as a human I want to
reclaim it, right and.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Joy tell me how to do.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
It and envision that. You know you were built with
the DNA for joy. It is your birthright as a
human being, but sometimes you forget how to access it.
So I want you to reclaim your joy tapping into
one of the five y's every day, right, just one.
Don't do more than one or two because that's too much.
And the first one is validation. So validation is acknowledging
(19:43):
and accepting how you feel good or bad without judgment. Right,
And you know how I said that when you don't
know what you're dealing with, validation is like turn the
light onto that room, so you know what you're working with.
You're naming the emotion good or bad, and you're accepting
it and you can self validate right to yourself. But
you know sometimes with my assessments, I validate through the quizzes.
(20:03):
You know the quiz online that I have on my website.
If you take take the Antedonia quiz and you see
you have a high Antedonia score, You're like, wow, I'm
lacking joy. That is why I feel this way, right.
And the second is venting. Venting is expressing emotion. So
you could vent verbally like we are right now, or
you could write in a journal, or pray or dance
(20:24):
or sing or cry. All are ways to express emotion.
And in my lab when people come in, I'll fill
up a red balloon and every person would take a
turn trying to put that balloon underwater, and one hundred
percent of the time it pops up. You cannot escape physics.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
So venting is imagine if you're letting the air out
of that balloon slowly over time.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
What happens if you don't let that air out is
that that balloon that's stress, that emotion will pop up
in areas of your life that you don't want it
to pop about, work, in your relationships, in your family.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
So when you let the air out over time, you're
able to have that balloon glad on the word you know,
it's you're more peaceful. And then the third V is values. Right,
So I brought in those candles for you because I
value you know, giving back to my community. So right
now I'm wearing a design from a black designer who's
a close friend of mine, Carl Kushny, And I brought
candles from Harlem Candle Company, right because I like to
(21:18):
give and pour back into my community. And so tap
into what gives you meaning and purpose. Think priceless versus
price tags. Many of us chase the things, right, we
chase the cloud, we chase the money. I was like
that too, But you're not doing things that give you
meaning and purpose, so you're missing out, right. So now
I won't take a speaking engagement if it's if I'm
missing out on my time with my daughter, Yeah, because honestly,
(21:43):
I I co parent, so I'm only going to see
her for like you know how they do the math
on on socials. I'm going to miss out on my
time with her. It's that's priceless. Why would I do that?
No amount of money can give me that time back, right,
So really tap into things that matter. And the fourth
ve as vitals, what nourishes your mind, your brain, your body. Right,
(22:04):
you only get one. I tell my daughter, since she
was too how many bodies did God give you? And
she always says one, mommy, And I said, what do
you got to do with it? Take care of it?
And she's known that since she was too. Right. But
we treat our bodies so poorly, you know, we criticize
what we look. But it's like, I have strong legs
that get me to places, right. A lot of people
don't have that. So be kind to your body. Eat
(22:24):
nourishing foods, not processed foods. Get movement in, you know,
protect your brain from too much screen time. You know,
the way that we look at our faces all the time,
it's very unhealthy, you know, when we're looking at our
face on FaceTime, we're looking on zoom, super unhealthy. It's
causing a lot of stress. We weren't meant to look
at our face that much, right, really, we weren't. There's
a termins psychiatry called the otoscopic phenomenon. So people who
(22:47):
are psychotic with schizophrenia, they'll see images of themselves across
the room and it creates a lot of anxiety for
them and depression we're doing that to ourselves.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
And that's why filters exist, because that's the better way
to look at yourself. And a lot of women and
men cannot take a picture on the regular camera now
because oh okay, I get it, I'm putting it together.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yes, yes, it's really unhealthy for us. If I were
to see my face next year's right now, I'd be
so distracted I wouldn't even be listening to you. We
were made to look at each other, to interact with
each other, to get feedback, not to look at ourselves.
So really protect your brain and the other parts of
idols are our relationships. We neglect it. We have to
pour into healthy relationships because the unhealthy ones will drain
(23:29):
our life source. And then the last fee is vision.
How do you plan join in the future so you
keep moving forward instead of getting stuck in the past.
So this could be small, you know, like I plan
joy every day. After I get my kid to school
on time, on the days I have her, I'll sit
in my living room and I have my Caribbean coffee
and I enjoy it. You know, I savor it because
that's my time. But for someone else it could be
something else. Right, So plan the joy. Celebrate your wins.
(23:51):
When you meet a major milestone, right, celebrate it as
a team. You know you don't get that time back.
So plan joy in the future.
Speaker 6 (23:59):
What people walk away with after reading High Functioning, I.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Really hope that they understand that joy is a priority,
It is a necessity. It is part of our survival,
especially in our community. Without joy, what would have happened
to us? You know, So prioritize joy and understand the
science of your happiness. You know there is only one you,
and there will only ever be one you. So take
the time to know yourself, understand what's taking away from
(24:26):
your joy so you know where to add back to it.
And joy has the power to change people and their communities.
So you know, we all probably have interacted with people
who are not joyful. They can change the tone of
a room, right, So if we take the time to
invest in joy, we can literally change not just ourselves,
but our families, our communities, and I think the world.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
How do they find you, Doctor Judith.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Doctor Judith Joseph dot com and follow me on all
the socials, Doctor Judith Joseph, and pick up my book
High Functioning.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Overcome your Hidden depression and reclaim your joy. Thank you
for joining.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
That's Judith Joseph is Thereakfast Club, good morning, thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Wake that ass up early in the morning. Breakfast Club
Speaker 2 (25:09):
H
Wake that ass up in the morning.
Speaker 2 (00:02):
The Breakfast Club Morning, everybody is dj n V Jess Hilarious,
Charlamage the guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We got
a special guest in the building. Yes, indeed we have to.
We have doctor Judith Joseph.
Speaker 3 (00:14):
Welcome, Thank you so great to be here. Yes, Happy
Mental Health Awareness Month.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
Do you have a new book out now called high
Functioning Overcome your Hidden Depression and Reclaim Your Joy?
Speaker 1 (00:26):
What does hidden depression look like?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Ooh, so hidden depression is not like the typical depression.
When people think of depression, they think is someone crying?
Speaker 4 (00:33):
I get out of bed?
Speaker 3 (00:34):
But hidden depression hides behind a mask of pathologically being
pathologically productive. So imagine you know a single mom working
to take care of her kids, working at her job,
and she cannot sow down. People depend on her, So
what does she do. She shows up to work with
a smile on her face. She's showing up for others,
but she feels no joy. And it's something called anne hendonia.
(00:58):
It's a scientific term that I study in live People
don't even know it exists. So hidden depression doesn't necessarily
look sad, but it doesn't feel joy.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
It feels empty, and.
Speaker 5 (01:09):
I actually, I have a friend who just experienced that, right,
And he called me with like like he had just
hit the lottery. Though it was so it was it
was unusual. I don't like to say weird.
Speaker 4 (01:22):
It's so unusual.
Speaker 5 (01:23):
He called me and say, yo, I just figured something out.
I'm like what He was like, I've been depressed all
this time.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I'm depressed.
Speaker 5 (01:28):
And I'm like, why you why why you you want
a stay or a cookie?
Speaker 4 (01:32):
Like why are you so excited about it? Like this
is not good news?
Speaker 5 (01:35):
He was like, no, no, na, like I'm not suicidal
or anything. I've just been burying myself in my work
and I am the most productive, but I'm not happy.
My wife she gets no attention from me. I'm not
like mentally there for my kids. And I just found out.
I was talking to my therapist and we you know,
and he got he was diagnosed and he has uh
(01:55):
he he's depressed. And it was so crazy because I
wh when you think of depression, you know, you think
of you know, the suicidal thoughts and you say, damn,
you can't get out of bed.
Speaker 4 (02:07):
He was the opposite, but he was still depressed. So
I just I just found that out.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
Wow. Yeah, you know why he was happy. It was
because there's a term in psychology called affect labeling. When
you know what you're dealing with, the uncertainty of not
knowing how you feel just makes you feel so stressed.
You feel like, Okay, maybe there's something wrong with me,
what I have to complain about. Maybe it's my fault.
But when someone tells you no, what you're experiencing is
a hadonia, it's actually a scientific symptom. Many people struggle
(02:33):
with it. Then you feel as if, Okay, it's not
my fault. There's a term for this. I know what
I'm working with hare so I can do something about it.
And as human beings, our birthright is joy. Like joy
is literally built into our DNA, and if we can't
access that joy, that's a problem. So just because someone's
not getting out, not you know, in bed and crying
all day, doesn't mean that it's not a problem. We
(02:54):
have to address this lack of joy.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
How do you get out of it? Right?
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So, let's say you work with somebody who bullies you
all the time, says you're Spanish when you're black. You
know somebody who has a bad wig and you have
to see it all the time. How do you get
out of that place of working with them? Because you
got to go to work looking at me like that.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
You gotta make money, So how do you get out
of that? Because the people that don't want to work
with how do you get out of that?
Speaker 3 (03:23):
But you know what he's doing right now, He's accessing joy,
being playful, being comical. He is finding a way through
a difficult situation by accessing joy.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Right.
Speaker 3 (03:32):
But many of us just go to work and.
Speaker 1 (03:34):
We do serious.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
If you work with somebody that you don't like, but
you still need to get money. I'm not talking about
Sheelamane or just a Lauren, but when people that you
know don't like their job. But how do you continue
to go through that? Because you still need money? You
still got to pay for the food on the table,
You still gotta pay for rent, you still gotta pay
for your car, you still gotta pay.
Speaker 1 (03:51):
For your kids. How do you get through that? What
do you tell people to do?
Speaker 3 (03:54):
There's actually a term in my book called the biopsychosocial model. Right,
So what you're talking about and what you so eloquently said,
it's actually a model used by every single medical student
in the world. Right, the biopsychosocial is like a fingerprint.
We all have our fingerprints, but it's all unique. So
we each have a biopsychosocial. So, for example, the person
you're talking about, the biopsychosocial for that person, socially, what's
(04:15):
happening is that they're in this stressful situation. They're not supported,
they're actually being you know, there's microaggressions, maybe macroaggressions at work,
but that's just one part of why they're no longer happy.
It's one of the things that's draining the science of
their happiness.
Speaker 4 (04:29):
Right.
Speaker 3 (04:30):
The other parts of that model are the biological. So
maybe this person also has a medical condition like I
don't know, diabetes, or psychologically they have past trauma. So
all of those things play into what's taking away from
their points of joy. So understanding where the stressors are
and what's causing you to be unhappy is important.
Speaker 4 (04:48):
But even within.
Speaker 3 (04:49):
Stressful situations, because I've traveled the world over thirty countries
looking at joy, even when people don't have running water,
even when they're in war zones, they can still access.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
Joy, something that makes you happy.
Speaker 1 (05:01):
With those of decisue.
Speaker 3 (05:02):
Because joy is a survival technique. We have to access
joy in order to survive, not just to thrive, but
to survive. So you can find ways at work to
connect with someone else. Maybe someone else is going through
it with you, so you're sharing your venting. You know,
maybe you can use a candle at work or something
fragrant to stimulate the senses, or make sure that you're
leaving work and having lunch like a human being instead
(05:24):
of being in front of a screen. Right, there are
things ways that you can access joy because it's a
survival technique.
Speaker 6 (05:28):
I believe that. I believe joy is survival technique. We
actually had liz on we were talking about that. But
I also feel like some people fake happy and they
fake joy, So what does the real joy look like?
Speaker 3 (05:42):
That's why I say, understand the science of your happiness.
There's only one Leonard, There's only one Judith, you know,
ever in the history of the universe, in the future.
So what is it about you that makes you joyful?
And in my research lab, when we're studying joy, we're
actually adding up points. For example, if you took a
rest and you woke up, did you feel refreshed? That's
(06:02):
a point if you were hungry and you savored your meal,
that's a point. If you were lonely you connected with someone,
that's a point. But the rest of the world is
so busy chasing this idea of happy. Right, I will
be happy when I get the perfect partner. I'll be
happy when a pay up on debt, I'll be happy
when I have a house. The science shows us that
even when those things happen, we're still not happy. So
we have to access the points of joy that really
(06:24):
feed into our unique sense of happiness. For me, it's connection.
If I'm busy, if I'm speaking at places, if I'm
on TV all the time and I'm not connecting with
my family, I'm gonna be unhappy. But for you it
could be something else.
Speaker 6 (06:36):
What are the signs of hidden depression and high functioning depression.
Speaker 3 (06:41):
Yes, so many people confuse high function depression with burnout.
The difference is that, you know, for burnout, let's say
you go to a party and you say I'm burnt out,
people are like, oh, me too, me three right. But
if you walk into a party and you say I'm depressed,
people are like, oh, you should do something about that, right,
Like like your friend right.
Speaker 4 (06:59):
Living.
Speaker 3 (07:04):
So when you think about burnout, right, burnout by definition
is an occupational hazard when though who the World Health
Organization classified it, it's the workplace causing the symptoms. So technically,
you take the person out of the workplace, they should
get better. With high functioning folks, even when you take
them out of the workplace, they're not better. What are
they doing. They're busying themselves on a side hustler too.
(07:26):
They're taking on somebody's problems. They can't sit still, they're
cleaning out their house or the garage, right, because it's
not the workplace. It's not something on the outside, it's
something inside that's unresolved. So this hidden trauma, this unresolved pain.
So they're trying to outrun it by busying themselves. So
when they sit still, they feel empty. When they're not working,
they feel restless.
Speaker 2 (07:46):
Let me ask you a question. I feel like and
this is a good thing, but I also feel like
it's a bad thing. I feel like in the last
ten years, so many people have been talking about all
these mental health issues and terms. Does it Sometimes I
feel like it's an overload because it's like, you know,
you get a pain, right, you google it and it
is thirty things that's wrong with you.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Now you're even more confused.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Right, is that the same thing with a lot of
sometimes with a lot of these terms, like when you
hear certain things, is now I'm depressed, Now I'm a
high function in depressed. Now I have anxiety. Now I
have this like do you feel like it's too much
for people? And how can people really break that all
down and realize what they really have and which really
bought them because everything sounds the same at sometimes.
Speaker 3 (08:27):
I mean, it's a great question. But the term effect
labeling in psychology shows us that when you can name
it appropriately right, it decreases the anxiety. Think about if
you were in a room you know it's pitch black,
and you heard a loud crash. Some of us would
start swinging, someone start screaming, someone start running. But if
you turn that light on and you saw what it was,
a osfel or some inotimant object, you feel relaxed. Why
(08:49):
Because you know what you're doing, you know what it is.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (08:52):
It's the not knowing and not naming appropriately that creates
a lot of anxiety. So people end up just drinking
a lot right to soothe that thing because they don't
know what it is, or they end up gambling or
spending a lot of money or doing things busying themselves
to outrun this pain they don't understand.
Speaker 6 (09:06):
And it's interesting too because you know, I think what
is speaking to to me anyway is the fact that
there was a time when nobody used to talk about
their mental health issues. So we went from saying we
don't speak about this at all. In order to eradicate
the stigma, we got to tell our story. So now
people are not just going out there to get help
and understanding what they're dealing with.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
They're telling their stories.
Speaker 3 (09:25):
They're telling their story. But still the older generations are
not as open, right, the younger ones they want to
talk about it. They want to feel seen, they want
to feel connected, and many of them do sometimes inappropriately
use a label to connect. Right, But there's still a
lot of stigma. You know, the places I go, the
corporations I go to, it's still more accepted to say
burnt out than depressed. But we have to name what
(09:47):
it is because the supports are going to look very different,
the resources look very different.
Speaker 6 (09:52):
Now, how do you know the different between somebody who's
staying busy as a response to trauma to somebody who's
actually really.
Speaker 3 (09:57):
Busy, yes, great question. It's antedonia. You know, when you
ask someone who's busy but they're actually pathologically productive, they're
not getting joy. You know. They end up at my
office in Manhattan and they're like, I don't know what's wrong.
Everything looks good on the outside, but I just don't
feel joyful. Whereas someone who's actually engaged in what they're doing,
they got the pep in their step. They're engaged and
(10:20):
they're connected, and they're feeling as if they're getting a
sense of purpose Versus when you keep doing over time
without actually tapping into purpose, you do feel numb. You're like,
why am I doing this? But you cannot stop because
you're trying to outrun something that you don't even know
is there.
Speaker 1 (10:35):
Now.
Speaker 2 (10:36):
You talked about, you know, working and being at rest,
So how do you know when you're at rest and
being okay with being at rest.
Speaker 3 (10:42):
One of the points of joy that we measure in
my research lab is actually that it's called psychomorgoric at agitation.
It's a terrible scientific term, but what it means is
that you can't sit still. You just on edge. And
when you add a points of joy, being able to
be calm and not stressed is actually a point that
many many of us leave on the table. We often think, oh,
that's anxiety and not depression. But no, it's almost like
(11:05):
a different side of the same coin. Right, You can't
be joyful if you're stressed. Do you know anyone who's
been really stressed out who is like also joyful? No? Then,
and look at the monks and other countries and the gurus.
They may have just a mat to sleep on and
bread and water, but they are joyful because they're at peace.
So if you're not feeling that sense of peace and
you have that inner restlessness, it's really difficult to be joyful.
Speaker 2 (11:28):
What does everybody's piece the same piece?
Speaker 1 (11:29):
Though?
Speaker 3 (11:30):
It's not? And that's why I said to understand the
science of your happiness. In my book, I actually have
that model so that I democratize this information. Why are
just the doctors and medical students holding onto this. Every
patient that comes to my lab draws their own biopsychosocial right,
So you want to figure out what are the things
that are taking away from my happiness?
Speaker 4 (11:47):
Right?
Speaker 3 (11:47):
If you don't understand what's taking away their points of joy.
How can you understand the science of your happiness? So
in some cases, you're going to look at the social factors, Right,
someone who is partner with somebody who's toxic. I mean,
they could eat all the care they want, They're still
going to be unhappy, right, Versus somebody who, let's say
psychologically they dealt with a lot of trauma in their childhood, neglected, abused.
(12:08):
We need to address that first because it's really hard
to act as story when you're in fight or flight.
And then biologically, let's say, if someone who has an
autoimmune condition, right, if you're constantly in a state of
high inflammation, your brain's not going to be happy. So
everyone's so unique, but we're chasing things that work for
other people without understanding our own science.
Speaker 5 (12:25):
And going back to what you said just a minute ago,
when you were saying, people bury themselves in work and
they have to be doing something all the time.
Speaker 4 (12:33):
They're always at their busiest. How do you I don't know,
how did I see?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Like?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
How are you supposed to feel when you do nothing? Yes? Like,
how are you know what I'm saying? Like, how are
you supposed to feel? And you just do nothing.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
My clients ask me that all the time, because high
functioning folks have something called all or nothing thinking. When
you tell them that you need to slow down, they're like, well,
I can't stop, and I'm like, hold on a second. Stopping
is not equivalent to slowing down. But their role, their
sense of their worth is so tied closely to what
they do. They feel like without their role, they are unlovable,
(13:07):
that they are lazy. Yeah, right, So we have to
challenge a lot of that. And in the PTSD, the
post traumatic stress research that I do with combat veterans,
what we see is that, you know, people who are
triggered by things like let's say a situation, a person,
a place, you know, they avoid those things, right, But
those of us who are pathologically productive with high function depression,
(13:29):
we avoid dealing with the pain by working. So a
lot of it is unpacking what are you running from? Right?
You think you're chasing this gold is happiness, but what
are you actually running from?
Speaker 4 (13:38):
Right?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
And the trauma response of I don't feel worthy without
my role, you know, that is exactly it. They don't
even realize it's tied to some past unprocessed pain. So
a lot of times we spend going back in the past.
I'll ask them to, you know, open up their phones
or bring in old pictures so we can trace back
to a time when they actually were feeling purposeful and
(13:59):
tapping into joy, and we try to figure out and
unpack what was that trauma. And then we spend a
lot of time in grounding.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Grounding techniques help you to calm that fight or flight
because that busyness is you trying to outrun this past.
Speaker 4 (14:12):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:13):
So it doesn't like flashback, it doesn't like nightmares, but
it's this busyness because you're trying to outrun your in
fight or flight. But we spend a lot of time
with grounding, and I talk about the techniques of my book,
so they feel at ease when they sit still.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
We're talking to doctor Joseph Judith Joseph Us. She has
a new book out, High Functioning, Overcome your Hidden Depression
and Reclaim Your Joy.
Speaker 5 (14:30):
Which you gonna say, just uh, what you like live
here in Manhattan.
Speaker 4 (14:36):
You can't ground out there actually can.
Speaker 3 (14:40):
Great question, you know, I actually talk. That's a good one.
And I taught this course, the same one I'm teaching
about at the White House.
Speaker 4 (14:47):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:48):
Talk about people who are in high stress situations at work.
Speaker 4 (14:51):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:52):
I taught them how they can actually ground at their desk.
And there's a technique called the five four three two one.
Speaker 4 (14:58):
Right.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
You can do it with a beverage.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
Like a coffee or a tea.
Speaker 3 (15:02):
But what you do is you sit and for five
minutes every day you practice this, you hold onto that
tee and you list five things you can see, so
you describe the cup, describe the liquid, You describe your hand,
the table, like you're really describing. Five things that you see,
the color. Four things that you feel, so you feel
the cup, you feel the warmth, you feel the chair,
(15:23):
You feel the ground under your feet. Three things that
you can hear, so you may hear some wind outside,
you may hear music, you may hear the sound of
the beverage. Two things that you can smell. You smell
the fragrances in the cup and on you. One thing
you can taste, you sip it. If you're doing five
for three two one in that way, you're not thinking
about your past pay, you're not getting trigger, you're not
thinking about you know what's happening around you. You're so
(15:44):
present and you're teaching your brain that you have the
capacity to sit still and to be present, because when
we don't process that fight or flight, we feel disconnected
from our bodies. But the grounding techniques allows us to
sit still and just do nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
You need to rest to find be.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
I think so it's one of the points of joy,
you know. Excuse me, it's really difficult to access joy
when you are restless. It's really difficult to access that
feeling of happiness and pleasure when you have when you're
in fight or flight. Right, So it's important to practice
these peaceful methods.
Speaker 1 (16:21):
I think. I keep I'm hung up on this.
Speaker 6 (16:23):
One question you asked earlier was like, can you feel
joy when you're stressed?
Speaker 3 (16:28):
It's very, very difficult. It's super difficult, you know, Like
imagine when you're stressed and you're sitting eating your food.
Many times we'll like finish the bowl and we don't
even know we finished our plate, right, because our brain
was somewhere else. So we missed out on a point
of joy, right, We weren't tasting the crunchy salad or
the dressings.
Speaker 1 (16:44):
Right.
Speaker 4 (16:45):
That's crazy, Yeah, like mostly.
Speaker 5 (16:48):
Not even everything's not trying to sound like a client
here or anything like that. But a lot of things
that you're saying, like I like live this every day,
Like I'll heat something up and then do something else
and if forget that I'm even forget that I'm hungry
and then do it because I'm trying to keep myself busy.
Like I wake up every morning at four, being here
at six, we get done at a certain time, I
(17:10):
go home, then I work.
Speaker 4 (17:10):
On other businesses and I do and then I have an.
Speaker 5 (17:13):
Eight month old baby, and I have a thirteen year
old son, and I'm married, and it's so many different things, right,
and the drugs and the drugs, so so yeah, he
does not have to put it all the day late day.
But yes, what I find for me, speaking of drugs,
at the end of the night a good like pre
(17:33):
roll Like for me, we that calms me down. I'm
able to relax and just like take a breath. But
by the time that is, that's like twelve one o'clock
in the morning, I.
Speaker 4 (17:44):
Got to be back up at four.
Speaker 1 (17:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (17:46):
Yeah, it's like, but I don't think I'm stressed all
the prices. It's like, what the hell is going on?
Speaker 3 (17:51):
Then maybe I'm not your doctor, but a lot of
people like you who have busy careers, families, a lot
of responsibilities.
Speaker 4 (17:58):
They're caretakers.
Speaker 3 (17:59):
Right in my stof the first ever published in the
world on high function depression, a lot of caretakers, a
lot of caregivers, they experience that lack of joy. Why
because they're so busy in their minds, they're so restless
that they're missing out the precious baby's face in front
of them, who wants to snuggle with you? Right, you
lost the point right there, because when you snuggle, you're
getting oxytocin, right, You're getting that attachment hormone. And you know,
(18:21):
many times I hear a lot of people saying they're
intimate with their partners and they just can't wait to
get over what because they just want to You know,
they're not they're missing out. That's a point of joy
for human beings, right, Sleep is a point of joy.
But many of us are spending our times on our
phones before we go to bed, so that's disrupting our sleep.
So we are losing so many points because we cannot
sit still.
Speaker 6 (18:40):
What about the water too, what about the the five's?
Can you break down the concept of healing with the five's.
Speaker 3 (18:47):
Well, the reason I the reason I came up with
the fives, I got a point of joy there. My
thirst is because when I travel the world, the number
or five comes up in a lot of countries. Right,
So I want people to envision their hand and say
to themselves, like, I am built with the DNA for joy.
(19:07):
It is my birthright as a human I want to
reclaim it, right and.
Speaker 2 (19:15):
Joy tell me how to do.
Speaker 3 (19:21):
It and envision that. You know you were built with
the DNA for joy. It is your birthright as a
human being, but sometimes you forget how to access it.
So I want you to reclaim your joy tapping into
one of the five y's every day, right, just one.
Don't do more than one or two because that's too much.
And the first one is validation. So validation is acknowledging
(19:43):
and accepting how you feel good or bad without judgment. Right,
And you know how I said that when you don't
know what you're dealing with, validation is like turn the
light onto that room, so you know what you're working with.
You're naming the emotion good or bad, and you're accepting
it and you can self validate right to yourself. But
you know sometimes with my assessments, I validate through the quizzes.
(20:03):
You know the quiz online that I have on my website.
If you take take the Antedonia quiz and you see
you have a high Antedonia score, You're like, wow, I'm
lacking joy. That is why I feel this way, right.
And the second is venting. Venting is expressing emotion. So
you could vent verbally like we are right now, or
you could write in a journal, or pray or dance
(20:24):
or sing or cry. All are ways to express emotion.
And in my lab when people come in, I'll fill
up a red balloon and every person would take a
turn trying to put that balloon underwater, and one hundred
percent of the time it pops up. You cannot escape physics.
Speaker 4 (20:39):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:39):
So venting is imagine if you're letting the air out
of that balloon slowly over time.
Speaker 4 (20:44):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:44):
What happens if you don't let that air out is
that that balloon that's stress, that emotion will pop up
in areas of your life that you don't want it
to pop about, work, in your relationships, in your family.
Speaker 4 (20:55):
Right.
Speaker 3 (20:55):
So when you let the air out over time, you're
able to have that balloon glad on the word you know,
it's you're more peaceful. And then the third V is values. Right,
So I brought in those candles for you because I
value you know, giving back to my community. So right
now I'm wearing a design from a black designer who's
a close friend of mine, Carl Kushny, And I brought
candles from Harlem Candle Company, right because I like to
(21:18):
give and pour back into my community. And so tap
into what gives you meaning and purpose. Think priceless versus
price tags. Many of us chase the things, right, we
chase the cloud, we chase the money. I was like
that too, But you're not doing things that give you
meaning and purpose, so you're missing out, right. So now
I won't take a speaking engagement if it's if I'm
missing out on my time with my daughter, Yeah, because honestly,
(21:43):
I I co parent, so I'm only going to see
her for like you know how they do the math
on on socials. I'm going to miss out on my
time with her. It's that's priceless. Why would I do that?
No amount of money can give me that time back, right,
So really tap into things that matter. And the fourth
ve as vitals, what nourishes your mind, your brain, your body. Right,
(22:04):
you only get one. I tell my daughter, since she
was too how many bodies did God give you? And
she always says one, mommy, And I said, what do
you got to do with it? Take care of it?
And she's known that since she was too. Right. But
we treat our bodies so poorly, you know, we criticize
what we look. But it's like, I have strong legs
that get me to places, right. A lot of people
don't have that. So be kind to your body. Eat
(22:24):
nourishing foods, not processed foods. Get movement in, you know,
protect your brain from too much screen time. You know,
the way that we look at our faces all the time,
it's very unhealthy, you know, when we're looking at our
face on FaceTime, we're looking on zoom, super unhealthy. It's
causing a lot of stress. We weren't meant to look
at our face that much, right, really, we weren't. There's
a termins psychiatry called the otoscopic phenomenon. So people who
(22:47):
are psychotic with schizophrenia, they'll see images of themselves across
the room and it creates a lot of anxiety for
them and depression we're doing that to ourselves.
Speaker 5 (22:55):
And that's why filters exist, because that's the better way
to look at yourself. And a lot of women and
men cannot take a picture on the regular camera now
because oh okay, I get it, I'm putting it together.
Speaker 3 (23:09):
Yes, yes, it's really unhealthy for us. If I were
to see my face next year's right now, I'd be
so distracted I wouldn't even be listening to you. We
were made to look at each other, to interact with
each other, to get feedback, not to look at ourselves.
So really protect your brain and the other parts of
idols are our relationships. We neglect it. We have to
pour into healthy relationships because the unhealthy ones will drain
(23:29):
our life source. And then the last fee is vision.
How do you plan join in the future so you
keep moving forward instead of getting stuck in the past.
So this could be small, you know, like I plan
joy every day. After I get my kid to school
on time, on the days I have her, I'll sit
in my living room and I have my Caribbean coffee
and I enjoy it. You know, I savor it because
that's my time. But for someone else it could be
something else. Right, So plan the joy. Celebrate your wins.
(23:51):
When you meet a major milestone, right, celebrate it as
a team. You know you don't get that time back.
So plan joy in the future.
Speaker 6 (23:59):
What people walk away with after reading High Functioning, I.
Speaker 3 (24:04):
Really hope that they understand that joy is a priority,
It is a necessity. It is part of our survival,
especially in our community. Without joy, what would have happened
to us? You know, So prioritize joy and understand the
science of your happiness. You know there is only one you,
and there will only ever be one you. So take
the time to know yourself, understand what's taking away from
(24:26):
your joy so you know where to add back to it.
And joy has the power to change people and their communities.
So you know, we all probably have interacted with people
who are not joyful. They can change the tone of
a room, right, So if we take the time to
invest in joy, we can literally change not just ourselves,
but our families, our communities, and I think the world.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
How do they find you, Doctor Judith.
Speaker 3 (24:48):
Doctor Judith Joseph dot com and follow me on all
the socials, Doctor Judith Joseph, and pick up my book
High Functioning.
Speaker 6 (24:54):
Overcome your Hidden depression and reclaim your joy. Thank you
for joining.
Speaker 1 (24:57):
Thank you so much.
Speaker 2 (24:58):
That's Judith Joseph is Thereakfast Club, good morning, thank you.
Speaker 1 (25:01):
Wake that ass up early in the morning. Breakfast Club
Speaker 2 (25:09):
H
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