The Breakfast Club Sits Down With Gia & Envy To Discuss 'Real Life, Real Family,' Parenting Styles; 'Casey Crew,' Trials, Tribulations. Listen For More!
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Yeah, it's the world knows Dangerous wanting to show to
breakfast Club Charlamagne da God.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Laura le Ross is here, just hilarious? Is here?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Who's feeling in for envy? Laura l Rosse is feeling
in for envy? Is a me filling in? He's here?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I'm here, but she's feeling in?
Speaker 4 (00:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, he's a guest today though, because his new book,
Real Life, Real Family with the Queen of the House
Gia Casey.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Is out right now.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Will comes like April fifteenth?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Comes April fifteenth?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Yes, how you feeling?
Speaker 5 (00:29):
You humbled by being given the opportunity to write a
book about something that is the most important thing to me,
the thing I'm the most passionate about, the thing that
brings me the most joy, family, parenting, my household, our home.
Speaker 6 (00:47):
So yes, I'm very humbled.
Speaker 7 (00:50):
This is the second book. Yes, it's amazing. You know what,
let's just rewind it back for those who don't.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Know, who is the case Secret? Where did that name
come from? How did y'all get starty?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Do you remember the KSE crew?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yes? Our last name? What do you mean?
Speaker 5 (01:05):
No?
Speaker 6 (01:05):
No, no, but do you remember how we came up
with the name.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
How do we come up with the name.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
We were doing our first podcast and it was before
we were doing like the audio version of the video version.
It was just the audio version, and we started the
podcast without a name. And we sat there and we
kind of was coming up with like different names, and
one of us said, well, how about the k C Crew.
You know, our last name is Casey. We have a
whole crew of kids, a whole gaggle.
Speaker 6 (01:29):
What about the k C Crew.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
And then people you know, DMed us and emailed and whatnot,
and they said, yeah, we love that name.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
We love that name.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
So we decided to call ourselves the KC Crew.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Amazing that's where it came about.
Speaker 8 (01:41):
And whenever you post on social you always hashtag the
k C Crew.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
Yes, V does as well.
Speaker 8 (01:46):
But one of the things that you guys were really
good from the podcast to bringing it online is you
pay attention to the comments and the responses.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Ki.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
Yeah, and you guys.
Speaker 8 (01:54):
Bring them into the podcast, but you also like reflect
on them on social media. So I want to read
one of the the posts that we pulled in. I
thought that this was great. You inspired me. This is
someone commenting to you, guys, you inspired me. I wish
all parents had this level of intention, planning and vibe.
Truth is, most parents, moms are stressed, overworked by trying
(02:15):
to make ends meet, in harboring trauma. Therefore, it's passed
down to the children. You've passed down light and love
because of that and because of what you are, high
five to all of the parents during their best and
you use that as a moment to talk about like, no,
it gets a little crazy over here, but oh yeah,
but it's important because when you if you've ever been
around your family, it is a lot of love and
a lot of light. But I'm sure on inside things
(02:35):
get crazy.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Well, you know, that's a big misconception. People assume that
because you live a certain lifestyle or because you've earned
a certain financial status, that you don't have the same
problems that they have. You know, in the same comment section,
you'll see people like, oh, it's easy when you have money. Oh,
you know, like your problems are not our problems.
Speaker 6 (02:57):
But that is such a misconception.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
You know, we just got over one of the toughest
years of our lives, probably the worst year of our life,
and that yeah, the last two years have been and
that's a conversation for another day, But we've gone through
a lot of trauma, a lot of disappointment, a lot
of heartache, a lot of sadness, and things that we
had to shield our children from, things that we had
(03:25):
to figure out how to keep that brave face and
how to not let it affect our family foundation. You know,
because that trickle down effect is so real. Your kids
know when you're not happy, they know when you're stressed,
they know when you're struggling, they know when you're upset
with one another, and they receive that energy and they
(03:48):
project that energy.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
And that's something that is.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Universal because there's not a single family out there that
doesn't have trials, tribulations, heartache, setbacks, finance stress is I
don't care who you are, you have experienced that. So
financial abundance, financial security, even for people that have that,
that in and of itself doesn't mean that you're happy.
(04:13):
Some of the most miserable people that I know do
very very well. It doesn't mean that you come along
with the skill set to know how to live a
happy life and how to teach your children how to
have a happy life. So that comment really really stood
out to me because she spoke on the troubles and
(04:35):
the trauma and the word trauma that she used, and
Rashan will speak on the word trauma. Sometimes he feels
as though it's a word that's overused, but it's a
word that represents something that so many people endure. The
difference now is that we have words to identify how
we feel and what we go through, and it's articulated.
(04:58):
Because when our feelings and our experience says are articulated,
then you're able to communicate. People are able to understand you,
You're able to understand other people. You're able to have
empathy and compassion for other people because now we're all
speaking a universal language. Like the word triggered, like the
word trauma, like the word gas. You know, these are
(05:18):
things that some may think are overused now, but yes,
but there is value there. There is value there because
now we can see each other, we understand each other.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
When you're trying to create a safe space, you know,
how is it to venture into an unsafe space like
the comics, Especially when somebody looks on the air every day,
you know what I mean, You have an opinion about it.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
Every day so I read every single comment. I interact.
It started when I had a lower follower account. It
started because I always felt that if someone follows me,
that's an investment in a small invent maybe, but it's
(06:01):
an investment that they put into me. And they're looking
at my content content, they're looking at my pictures. And
you left a comment, I want to respond back to you.
I used to respond to almost every comment, you know,
but then when my followers went up, I wasn't really
able to do that. And that was something that you know,
I had to take that on the chin. I wasn't
(06:22):
able to. But it's a sign of respect. And you said,
why do I do that to myself? Because I'm strong
enough to do that. I'm strong enough to do that.
The comments don't if they are negative, and I have
to say, I don't receive a lot of negative comments, thankfully,
thank God. But if they are negative, I look at
(06:44):
it as insight. I might ask myself, why might someone
have that perspective? Why may you have drawn that conclusion?
Speaker 6 (06:52):
To me?
Speaker 5 (06:52):
It feeds my mental because I'm a thinker. I'm a
deep thinker. I'm all over things. I love to understand people,
I love the concepts that kind of creates society. I
love to understand cause and effect relationships and things of
that nature. So for me, the comments are food and
they also bring me happiness when they're good. It lets
(07:14):
you know that you're reaching someone whatever it is that
you're putting out, because it's in the sense of sharing.
There's a lot of things that I don't share.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
So if I choose to share and it's well received,
then that's a good feeling. I think that's why a
lot of people are on or part of the reason
why a lot of people are on social media, you
know what I mean, And I'm strong enough to do so,
and that's because of the way that I was raised.
I was raised to be a very strong and resilient woman.
It comes directly from my parents, and I'm fortunate in
(07:47):
the sense that I can look back and identify things
about the way that I was raised that created the individual,
the woman, the mother, the wife that I am, and
it's for me. It's a very beautiful thing. Both of
my parents are no longer here, so to be able
to say, wow, when my mother did this every single day,
(08:10):
or when she took me here once a week or
when she said this to me, and those compliments, and
that the way that she fed me and she fed
my soul, and the joy that I experienced and the
amount of fun that I had as a kid, like
I loved my life. And it's not because we were wealthy.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
We were not.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
We were a middle class family. I'm from Brooklyn, from
East Flatbush. We weren't raised, you know, like I'm from
an urban area.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
And it's not.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
It had nothing to do with money. It had nothing
to do with wealth. It had everything to do with
what my parents poured into my home and the love
that I felt. And that is what we put into
writing this book. There's a lot of books that we
could have written, you know, so many ideas came out
because Real Life for Love was a huge success. It
(08:55):
was a national bestseller. So it's I go, you can
write book about this. You We said we to write
a book about family. It's what we know best. It's
what we know best. We've had so many ups, so
many downs, so many wins, so many losses, so many
things that we thought we were doing right that we weren't.
That we had to regroup and make sure that we
were balanced, you know. As as a married couple, because
(09:18):
when we didn't agree, it's like my way is better,
know what my way is better? And this, you know,
we have to come to a meeting of the minds. Yeah,
you know what I mean. So our relationship, you know,
the relationship grew, you know, because we had to learn
how to see eye to eye as parents. So there
was just there was many, many ups and downs, and
we wanted to pour that all into a book, you know.
(09:41):
We wanted to let everyone know like it's really that
village mentality. It's really that like we are a community,
especially our black community because I'm black, yes, yeah, yeah,
for the record, for the record, some Spanish blood. But
(10:07):
it's like I know that you're well aware because you
speak to things of this nature often. But our history
is being erased in schools and it's being stripped away
silently in society. So the foundation starts in our homes.
(10:28):
We have to teach children how to identify themselves. We
have to teach children that sense of belonging and they
have to understand that they come from something meaningful. And
if you leave it up to society to teach them that,
you're going to wind up with children that are lost,
(10:51):
that are overlooked, that don't know how to identify themselves,
that get taken advantage of, and that are susceptible to
what society wants for them. So for us, our core,
our nucleus, our foundation, our home superseds anything else in
this world. We put our family first.
Speaker 7 (11:14):
Would you say that you and and we have two
different parenting styles, the more lenient parent.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Who was the more lenient parent?
Speaker 9 (11:24):
It depends what it is like. You know, everybody knows
my dad is retired police officer and ex military, so
I'm disciplined. I was the yell of the screamer because
I said, so is a lot different, Like she wants
to know why did you feel that she likes to
break down?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
You don't get it.
Speaker 7 (11:40):
You're gonna get it by the end of the right exactly.
Speaker 9 (11:44):
So you got to think, really think before you speak
to us, because she's like, all right, well, explain that,
like I just said it, just because no, no, no, explain this.
But so I'm more like, because I said so, she's
more like, well, you can't go to the more because
of this, because this could happen. Explain your parenting style
mine is my dad was like, no, and you didn't
ask why it was what it was.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You just figured out later. GI is a little different.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I prefer the explanation.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
So that's how my parents were with me.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I knew that my parents were invested in me living
a happy, fulfilled and fun life, and we didn't go
lightly on the fun. And because I knew that, and
my parents never said no.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Just for the sake of saying no.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Because parents are overworked and they are stressed, and the
last thing they want to hear when they walk through
the door is.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Mommy, can I can you take me here? Can you
buy me this? Can we watch this together?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Can we go?
Speaker 6 (12:39):
Like slow down?
Speaker 8 (12:40):
No?
Speaker 6 (12:41):
And sometimes you say no, you don't even know why
you're saying no. That's not a good parenting technique. You
really have to take a moment. You have to take
a beat.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
We all have to take a beat to listen to
our children and be patient. And because I knew that
my parents were invested in me that way, I knew
that when they said no, there was a good reason.
Because they would never slight me. They would never tell
me no because they were too tired. They would never
tell me no just because they didn't want to be bothered.
So it's like, oh, well, if mommy said no, that
(13:14):
means that I'm not supposed to be there, or that
means that she genuinely can't take me. And they both
would take the time to explain to me, you know, like,
you don't want to go to that party in Conye
Island because in that neighborhood there's a lot of shooting
and da da da, and you're a young girl. And
I'll take it a step further. You know what my
parents used to do from time to time. They would
(13:35):
take me to a party, not the one in Coney Island,
but a party and they would park and wait outside
for me for two or three hours until I came out.
And this was before cell phones and all that stuff.
My dad had this whole portable TV and he would
recline his seat, set the portable TV up on the dashboard,
and just watch TV until or whatever it was that
(13:57):
he was watching, until I came out. That let me
know that my parents rooted for me.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
They wanted me to enjoy life.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
So when they told me no, I knew that I
had no.
Speaker 6 (14:07):
Business considering it.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
Considering whatever it was that I was considering.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Take a step forward. The other day, London, which is
our eleven year old, wanted to walk to a friend's
house after school. A friend's house was a block.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
Away, two blocks, two blocks.
Speaker 9 (14:20):
Gear drives in a car looking like a stalker and
followed them the two blocks as they're walking.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
But London, no, London was like, that's my mom following us.
I don't worry. But she just wanted to walk, and
Gear followed her ass right to that house.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
Well, the thing is that, you know, she's eleven, so
she wants to all of her friends, all of them
they walk home from school because they all live in
the same neighborhood and they all walk home. But London
is not allowed to walk home. No, absolutely, positively not.
And there's there's this very significant reason for it, well
at least a partial reason. And I said, all right, babe,
(14:53):
you can walk, but I'm going to follow you those
two blocks.
Speaker 6 (14:57):
She's like, okay, mommy, no problem.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
Meanwhile, you have a kids that might be like, oh
why can't I just can't you trust me eleven?
Speaker 6 (15:05):
I'm not stupid, you know, other kids would rebel.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
Our kids are so conditioned to understanding that it's for
their safety, and they welcome it, especially like our oldest Madison, Madison,
when she went to college, she was like, can you
chip me, like, like put a chip in her arm.
Speaker 9 (15:28):
Because it was almost kidnapped as a kid. They try
to grab her the door, someone face being cut. So
we are very extra.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
When it comes to our kids.
Speaker 9 (15:40):
And then you know, Charlemagne and you guys know things
that has happened, you know, behind the scenes, but we're
very careful when it comes to the kids.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
Yeah, when I was nine, a man tried to abduct
me and it was awful.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
She was walking the door, I was, and all that
he choked.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Me out like he he had a change of clothes hidden.
Speaker 6 (15:58):
He was caught. He was caught.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
But that's yeah, that story is in the book. But
you know, so I experience, I understand. I come from
a place where I understand that the worst can happen
to you, you know, because we go through life hily like,
oh no, that happens to other people, you know, other
people go through things like that. I've been through so
much that I understand that the worst can happen to you.
(16:22):
So I protect my kids with vigilance because of that
personal knowledge that I have of it.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, make sure, you not. You're raising the kids out
of love and not fear.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
At though that's such a good question, it comes with
the explanations, do you know what I mean? I don't
tell them you can't do this and you can't do that.
Why because I said so, let me explain to you why.
You know, sometimes we'll watch the news together, you know,
when they're at an appropriate age, at about nine years old.
(16:53):
You know, I think that they're mature enough to ingest
certain things. So what I do is I would record
it on my DVR and then cherry pick different stories
that I think that are appropriate, that speak to the
protective measures that we take on them, you.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
So it's like, if I see a child abduction that's
not too traumatic, I might save that and then show
it to a child that's old enough. You know.
Speaker 6 (17:16):
I did it with Madison.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
I did it with Logan, and I find that they
take that into their adult lives and they're very very
Madison Like. Madison walks around like a police officer. She
has a boyfriend. His name is Andrew, and when they
go into a restaurant, she's the one that sits facing
the door. She feels like the protective force in that
relationship because her head is always on.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
Swivel, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
She could tell you a car that was driving six
cars ahead, you know, and she's always paying attention to
license plates. When she was young, I used to go
through like in case you get kidnapped scenarios because it's
the type of information that can save a child's life.
(18:10):
It's the type of information that can save a life,
especially now with all of this human trafficking and all
the stories with you know you they put like a
zip zip tag on your on your on your door,
and they put a dollar or money near your there's
there's all these techniques.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Girls are being taken. So if you have a.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Young girl, it is very proactive to educate them about
the realities and the tricks and the cons that people.
You know, because even me as proactive as I try
to be, that whole technique with a baby crying outside
your house, I would I would be inclined to open
the door if I hear a baby crying and someone
(18:55):
that sounds like a mother yelling and screaming outside the house.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
I am that type of person, but not me, but
now I am I am.
Speaker 5 (19:07):
I would my heart with my I would be inclined
to open that door. But now with all the knowledge
and some of the good things about social media is
that so much knowledge is being spread, so now we're
consuming good information as well. So I heard that, I'm like, wow,
that's absolutely absolutely right.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
It jogs your thinking.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
It makes you say, oh, wait a minute, I do
have to put myself first, even if someone else, a stranger,
seems to be in need. I have to prioritize myself,
my home, my family. So you know, it's it's important
to spread information and to teach your kids, even though
it may be a little scary, but you do have
to do it in a way where it doesn't incite fear.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
How do y'all, ah, how y'all pick and choose?
Speaker 8 (19:49):
What do y'all like, what y'all decide to be transparent about,
because there's so much, Like you have stuff that you
have to protect them from just because they're going to
school and you guys, people know you. But then you
also have stuff that just happening in the world that
they could encounter with their friends. Like it's just so much.
Your kids are getting older and they're like, you know,
like they they're wanting to walk by themselves with their friends.
Speaker 9 (20:06):
Know, if it was up to me, I'm transparent with
everything right has to hold back a lot. And the
reason I think I'm suaming, Well, the reason I'm so
transparent I'll explain. But the reason I'm so transparent.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
What you mean?
Speaker 9 (20:25):
But you know, so some things get you know, like
for instance, like with Logan. Right, Logan when he was
in high school used to get picked on all the time. Right,
but he used to get picked on. Guess for what reason?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
No, because because Charlamage. Yes, yes, so when you gave
me to ask, that's.
Speaker 9 (20:45):
Why he gave me the buck cake when he gave
me much better.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
You know what I mean, We're not about to hate.
He used to get made fun of it because of that.
Speaker 9 (21:06):
So, but the reason I'm so transparent is there's so
many families and people dealing with the same things but
never want to talk about it. Scared to So that's
why I talked about the orgasm thing in the first book.
That's why in this in the second but we talk
about you know the time that from.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
No, no, not every every you want to do some.
Speaker 9 (21:33):
Even like in this book we talk about the time
that that uh Logan found a bloody condom at one
of his friend's house, so he can't, but he's he's
comfortable while looking at that.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
It wasn't mine.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
He's like, oh he found blood.
Speaker 5 (21:53):
Right friends, and and he was like maybe nine years old,
nine years old.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
He was about nine years old.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
But he was comfortable enough to keep in the basement.
Speaker 6 (22:06):
And the little boy had an older brother.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, when Charlamagne gave daddy, so she had That's when
we had the sex talk and had to have the
sex talks with Logan and Madison. What kind of sex
talk though, it wasn't a backdoor sex talk that they
just birds and beans and wasp and.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
They got a full blown okay sex talk. They had
to understand because if you leave it back.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Door sex, if that's what I'm really trying to figure out,
why was the condon bloody?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I'm really because when somebody ran red.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Like yeah, just ripped some my butt open, somebody ran
a red.
Speaker 8 (22:54):
Don't be like the first time thing?
Speaker 5 (22:56):
Yeah yeah, but no they at that point I found
that they were old enough and mature enough, and they're
encountering things now. These conversations are being had amongst their peers,
and I knew that if I didn't set them straight,
that they were going to be absorbing all of this
wrong information and wrong ideas. So I told them sex
(23:19):
feels good. It's a pleasureful experience. God made us that
way because God wants us to reproduce. He wants us
to create offspring. So he made it something that we
would enjoy. But it's meant for someone that you love,
and that's the reason why. So they're like, oh, okay,
so what is it.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Like and what did you say?
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Okay, if I'm being honest, I told them that there
is a penis, and there is a vagina and it
does slide in and out. And my son Logan was like,
so like this, yeah, they're a bad Yeah, they're eleven
about they're about eleven and nine.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
That I'll never forget since you asked, he was like,
so is it like like? I was like, yeah, something
like that.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
I said, you know, some people look at it as
a negative thing.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
No, no, no, he really didn't know. He really didn't.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
He really didn't even even like my eleven year old
son right now, he does not know. He asked me
three days ago, like what does sexual mean?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
I said, it's not for you. It's not for you
to understand right now.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
So when they asked me questions that I don't want
them to know about. And he's older than Logan was,
But now with I have a better grip on his
friends and a grip on what he's exposed to on
his phone and whatnot in Parameter's boundaries, So I'm really
abreast of what he knows and what he doesn't in
our lines of communication are better, way better.
Speaker 6 (24:59):
Like he like those kids.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
They come to me every day and when they get
home from school, either for a half an hour an hour,
depending on what activity they have.
Speaker 6 (25:07):
Afterwards, they have their turns.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
They sit at the foot of my bed, they lay
down or they sit down and they tell me about
their entire day.
Speaker 6 (25:14):
They tell me the.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
Best part of their day, the worst part of their day,
and one kind thing that they did for someone else
that day. So that's just our routine, that's our ritual.
And they tell me everything. And you would be shocked
and appalled to know the things that they divulge. But
it's because we create that safe space, We create that
soft place to land, We create a no judgment zone.
(25:36):
You could tell me anything. It could be the world's worst.
I will never ever judge you. I will help you
fix it. We'll extract all the lessons everything that you
need to learn from it, whether you were wrong, whether
you weren't whatever. It is like this is your safe
space and they have that foundation. So they share, they share,
and we take that time like we share.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Yeah, you have six games?
Speaker 7 (26:00):
So was there anything because y'all have all age groups?
So is there anything that you felt like in the
beginning y'all didn't know until y'all got to that six kid,
of course, like what were some of the I'll give
you an example.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
You didn't know. You just was like, well we may
and Rashan winging.
Speaker 6 (26:17):
This, I'll give you. I'll give you an example.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
But to speak to what you said, like we wrote
a book, that doesn't mean that we know everything, and
it doesn't mean that it's not an evolution. It doesn't
mean that we're still learning every single day. Like I
said earlier, it's a sense of community where we share
our experiences and the wins and the losses so that
other people can understand they're not alone.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
And it comes in.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
All shades, all forms, all fashions, all financial groups. We
all speak a universal universal language as parents with Logan,
so one of one of the fails, and this was
something that we disagreed on. So it was the explaining
everything to the kids.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
I have the patience to do it.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
And he really is a because I said so type
of guy. And it worked beautifully with Madison, but with
Logan from a young age, I would explain everything to
him and he's a mama's.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Boy times thirty and he tells us he.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
Is that boy, Like we have a thing, you know,
and I have a different thing with all of my kids,
but me and him.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
Have our thing. Like he calls me at.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
All times of the day, all time. He will call
me at three o'clock in the morning, like at twelve
o'clock in the afternoon, and she's like, yea, what's up, mom,
what's going on?
Speaker 6 (27:37):
You're good?
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Yeah, I'm good. I was just at the club home.
I'm about to FaceTime you. Lucas and Andrew are here.
Take a look, take a look, and I'm like, what's up?
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Sleep is up? But okay, you know what I mean.
Like we're very, very close.
Speaker 5 (27:49):
But it kind of went wrong with him because what
we found was that we created an environment where he
felt that he was entitled to an explanation, and he
felt as though because we gave him too safe of
a space that he could challenge me. And he can
challenge a decision that I made. And he's very and
(28:13):
he's very intelligent. He's very, very intelligent. So Rashwan always
says that I'm like a lawyer, right, he says it
all the time. I know what it feels like because
I have a logan and logan lawyers me, do you
know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (28:28):
So they do it each other all day long.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Yes, all day.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Long, and in a lot of ways, I enjoy it
because I feel like he really does challenge me, and
he's one of the only people that I feel like
does that in my life. And I love to see
the mental exercise. I love to see how his brain
is moving and how he's getting around the things that
I'm saying and things like that.
Speaker 6 (28:48):
So it's good at his adult age.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
Now because he's twenty one, But when he was a child,
it wasn't acceptable because I'm going to explain because this
is what I do. But now you're not understanding that
that's a grace that I show you. It's not something
that you're entitled to This is a courtesy that I'm
extending to you, but you're not entitled. So we had
(29:11):
to dial that back. And then we had to teach
boundaries and let him know his place because he started
to misunderstand his place. So that was that was a
fail in a sense. And Rashalmud always looking at me
like see I told you, Like see I told you.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Because he's a bad guy.
Speaker 9 (29:32):
Because now I got to go discipline that, right, So
now me and Logan get into it.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
And now you can't beat Logan because Logan.
Speaker 9 (29:41):
So now I got a discipline Logan, and then me
and Logan get into it. But one thing about Logan
and all of our kids, which is the craziest thing,
is they're very forgiven. Like with Logan, I have to
get sometimes so disrespectful for him to understand.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And the next day he's like, hey Dad, what's up.
And I'm like, hey Dad, what's up. But that's how
he is, and he just has conversations.
Speaker 9 (29:57):
But we have those conversations and we understand and we
but he's the one that just like.
Speaker 6 (30:02):
His mom, did you fail like a failure?
Speaker 4 (30:05):
No?
Speaker 5 (30:05):
No, I didn't feel like a failure, but I knew
that that technique wasn't wasn't necessarily a fail, but it
needed tweaking.
Speaker 6 (30:13):
So then we had.
Speaker 5 (30:15):
Our other four and there was a huge gap. There's
about nine years between Logan and London. So I wanted
to maintain what I always believed in and how I
was raised, but I wanted to implement some of because
I told you so as well, Like I am going
to explain to you, but I'm going to let you
know that it is because I'm showing you grace and
it's because I respect you. So in turn, you have
(30:37):
to respect me, and you have to respect the decision.
And we can talk about it as long as it's
coming from a good place. And I'm not sensing any
attitude from you, any entitlement from you, or anything that
I don't like to feel as we sit here and
discuss it. So you got to make sure you keep
it right. And my kids get it. So this pack
of three, because Peyton's three years old, but my eleven,
(30:59):
my ten, and my eight, they get it. Like I
tell them, if they were really curious, they might question,
and then after I say it again, they're like, okay, absolutely,
whatever it is. And so it's it's through that trial
and error with Madison and Logan that were able to
take all the good stuff, you know, all the good
stuff and pour it into this second batch of kids.
Speaker 8 (31:21):
No, go ahead, I thought, I'm asking so much.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
So no, it's okay.
Speaker 7 (31:26):
So in the beginning, So going back to something you
said earlier, you were saying that the past two years
was very traumatic and not getting into that. How challenging
(31:46):
was it writing this book? Like was it ever moments
where you AMers or just you like broke down, like
not like giving up, But it was challenging for you
to get deep into any you know, any of the
chapters or what you win through within the pastry.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
You you know what, I'll be honest with you, no
pun intended, But I'm an open book. I'm not a
private person. I've never been a very private person. And
it's because I feel as though the value in life
is truth. You know, even if it's not pretty. You know,
there's no value to anything if it's not honest, if
(32:23):
it's not true, if it's not transparent, if it's bs,
it's worthless. You know, if you wrap everything in a
pretty bow, it's worthless because who can relate to you, nobody.
I can't relate to people that appear to be perfect
or pretend to be perfect, because I don't know you.
I don't know anybody like you, you know what I mean.
So anytime that I'm honest or I'm vulnerable about something,
(32:46):
to me, it's like giving a little gift from myself.
It's sharing something that I know other people wouldn't share
because they'd be too embarrassed or it disrupts the image
that they're trying to present, so that I don't respect.
So it's very easy for me to tell my truth
from where I genuinely come from.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
You know, did you have a family mission statement?
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
What is the mission statement? And tell people the importance of.
Speaker 9 (33:12):
That, well, just so we know, we don't have it
on our wall and then make the kids read it
when they walk in the house.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It's not like that.
Speaker 9 (33:19):
So our mission statement is just something that we, you know,
as a family, we all live by, right, And I'll
read some of them. And the reason is is we
are a close unit, right, So if you see us together,
we're all always out together. You see me the other
day with Jackson, You've seen me before, and Chelan has
seen before.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
So the mission statement is we are a unit, right,
we all ride together like we are really a unit,
a unit.
Speaker 9 (33:39):
I'm an only child, so I'm I'm heavy into taking
care of each other.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
Right.
Speaker 9 (33:45):
We respect each other, of course, it's simple, like we
make sure that, you know, we respect each other's feeling.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
We always have each other's backs.
Speaker 9 (33:51):
That's one thing that we always do, and it's you know,
sometimes when we have conversations up here, I always talk
about my kids.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
So when they see stuff on social media.
Speaker 9 (33:58):
At times I have to stop them because they will
go in, especially Logan Logan, Oh yeah, we always loved
uplift each other and point out the good in one another. Right,
So we see that more especially with our girls in
dance because they compete against each other a lot. So
when they do, we have to make sure that regardless
of what happens. Like a couple of weeks ago, London
lost and we thought London got jerked. So I told
(34:20):
you know, I had a conversation with Brooklyn, and Brooklyn
was like that, don't worry, I'm gonna get first and
second four And she went out there and busted at
that first and second.
Speaker 6 (34:26):
He got first place and second again.
Speaker 9 (34:28):
You know gave the first place to her sister, because
that's what it was. We represent each other at all times.
That's how it always is. So we always tell our
kids if we're not there, you make sure that those
parents come back and say, oh my gosh, she was
such a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
He was polite, he was this even with Jackson at
the game.
Speaker 9 (34:44):
You know, Jackson said thank you a million one time,
so you said hello million one time.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
So you because that's what he's taught to do, that
you show.
Speaker 6 (34:50):
Respect one before you go on with that.
Speaker 5 (34:55):
My goal for my kids is that when they leave
our house, I want everyone that they come in contact
with to know that they're well loved.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (35:05):
Like, I want them to know that they're well loved.
What we teach you inside this house, you exemplify outside
of this house. And it's so interesting because you know,
as parents, we have a goal, you know, and these
are goals that we vocalize to one another. So when
we get calls from other parents when our kids are
on a playdate, teachers principles. Both sets of kids went
(35:30):
to a new school and we got calls from like
the parent the teachers, like what are you guys doing
in that house? What are you doing with these kids?
Like I've never seen this before, and all three of
them are like this.
Speaker 6 (35:43):
It lets you.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
Know that you're doing something right, you're doing something meaningful.
Speaker 6 (35:48):
Those teachers know.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
That they're well loved, and of course other children are
well loved. It's not that, but it's coming from a
mental space that you understand. And like what we talked
about earlier about articulating words and things, when you articulate
something to a child and you do it in a
way where they understand what it means and what their
(36:11):
actions mean. Because you can love your child to death,
you could take a bullet for them. You do, you
work hard, you hustle, you do everything for your kids.
You love your kids, but they could still go out
and be a menace because the lessons may be lost.
And these are things that a lot of parents don't
put into perspective when raising children because what do.
Speaker 6 (36:30):
We usually do. We take it.
Speaker 5 (36:33):
We take, like, you know, an idea, and we throw
it up against the wall and we see if it
sticks or not.
Speaker 6 (36:36):
You know what I mean? Oh that worked, Oh that
didn't okay.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
But a lot of people don't have something tangible that
they can go back to and be like, this is
this is this is a way to create a foundation.
This is a way to create a structure. And because
we had so many ups and downs, we were able
to do that and put it in one place.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
And I think the biggest story now hate want to
tell a story was Jackson. Right.
Speaker 9 (37:01):
So we had a parent teacher's night a couple of
weeks ago and a teacher came up to me.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
The teacher that I had no idea you know who
he was a step night. Yeah, So he walks off
to me. He was like, are you Jackson's dad? And
I'm like yeah. When a teacher usually asked that' usually
some bs.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So I'm like, oh, hey, we go what did Jackson do?
Speaker 9 (37:17):
And he was like, I just want to tell you, you know,
Jackson did something that no child or adult has done
in my life.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
I'm like, well, what's that?
Speaker 9 (37:25):
And he was like the other day, I'm walking down
the hall and Jackson comes running up to me and
he goes, you know, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (37:30):
And the teacher was like, what do you mean? He
was like, you just don't look as happy as usually do,
or you are right? Is anything bothering you. Would you
like to have a conversation with me and just talk
it through.
Speaker 9 (37:42):
I was like, nah, you just don't seem as happy
as you do, but don't let things stress you out.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Just pray on it and tomorrow be better. Right and
if you need to talk to me, come talk to me.
Speaker 9 (37:50):
And he said Jackson ran off and he was like,
I've never had an adult or a child ever do
that to me.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
So he was like, whatever you're doing at home, continue that,
and you know, I mean.
Speaker 9 (37:58):
That just shows what the kids are learning that home
is worth every Yeah, so you.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Need to report that teacher too. He don't need to
be in school.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Was like, you got some time.
Speaker 7 (38:15):
So it was the only person, I mean, London was
the only person that saw him at.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
Jackson.
Speaker 6 (38:28):
So that was stem night.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
But at the parent teacher conference, one of the teachers
said that if she could use one word to describe Jackson,
it would be grateful. And she said, in thirty years
of teaching, I've never used that word with a child before.
I said, well, what do you mean by grateful? He says?
She said, every day, after every lesson, he comes up
(38:50):
to me and says, thank you for teaching. Me today
and I said really, And he said she said where,
Like where did like where does he get that from?
Speaker 6 (38:58):
Like what's what's like? You know?
Speaker 5 (38:59):
I said, that's his own interpretation. But when he plays
sports after every game, I tell him to shake the referees'
hand and look him in this, look him in the
eye a nice strong handshake, and say thank you. And
do the same thing with your coach, because these are
people that give their time, that don't have to give
their time, and it's for you and for your benefit
in your learning and your greatness. So you acknowledge that
(39:22):
man or that woman and you say thank you. So
I think that that's his interpretation how he's doing it
in another way, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
Such a beautiful family, Thank you. And this man will
crashed out for any of y'all. I know.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Behind the scenes a bunch of times.
Speaker 9 (39:41):
And Jessica was like, yo, you crash out for you?
Speaker 4 (39:45):
No, man, tell me I'm interested.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Excuse me?
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Shut up? Anyway, when is baby number seven?
Speaker 6 (39:54):
The shop is closed?
Speaker 5 (39:56):
This ship has said the shop is not closed.
Speaker 6 (40:02):
No, no, there's no sip snip.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
But I know how not to get pregnant. No, no,
I don't want them to get the case you ever wanted.
Speaker 6 (40:13):
No, I just don't think it's necessary. I know how
not to get pregnant.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Want the husband. I'm sorry say that again for the
wives who want their husbands.
Speaker 6 (40:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (40:26):
Other other women may have gotten pregnant unintentionally and have
a different view, But me personally, I just you know,
like people have asked me, like, do you want to
get your tubes tied? I just like our natural bodies
and I like them to function the way that they function.
And if I can take a human precaution to prevent
(40:46):
a particular result and don't do that, I don't. I
don't think that it's for me. It's not necessary. I
absolutely understand why people do both of those procedures, but
for me, I just don't find it to be necessary.
That's all, you know.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
April fifteen, it'll be out in bookstores everywhere everywhere you
buy books.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Man Gid, thank you for pulling up.
Speaker 6 (41:07):
Thank you so much. You can pre order on Amazon
right now.
Speaker 9 (41:10):
And for everybody else. We just want to add this
last part. We actually wrote it with somebody that helped
us out that we'll talk about that that helped us
with terms and helped us with different phrases and helped
us with made sure that we were actually doing the
right thing when it came to raising our kids.
Speaker 5 (41:23):
Yeah, so we wrote it alongside a psychologist because yes,
because we wanted to make sure that our outlooks were
were on the level that I would want to put
it out to the public. I wanted the psychological research
and quarterbacking behind the way that we parent to pretty
(41:47):
much put a stamp on it, to know that what
we're doing not just from our personal experience driven point
of view is sound, but from a psychological point of
view is also sound. I wanted to make sure that
alongside the true truth and the transparency and the experience
that we had that backing to the book as well.
I wanted that level of value in the book as well.
(42:08):
So and also, you know, if you have a child
with anxiety, add ADHD, other setbacks, other disabilities, you know
we speak to you in this book as well, because
those people are very like they don't have that many resources.
This book is for anyone who is a parent, a
single parent, a parent.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
That is married, may be about to have kids.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Someone that wants to have a child.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Look over here.
Speaker 6 (42:38):
Thank you It's, It's, It's, It's Forever.
Speaker 5 (42:39):
It's a very relatable book, and there's a lot of
exercises in the book. We kind of also created it
in like a workbook style, so there's a lot of reflections.
There's a lot of places in there for you to
answer questions, so you can kind of analyze yourself and
understand your own point of view in a way of
like articulation, where if you haven't really thought about certain things,
it'll jog you to think about things. And even if
(43:00):
you don't do don't take our take, it encourages you
and helps you to come up with your own takes
on parenting.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
So you have April fifteenth, guys, pre order it now.
Speaker 6 (43:09):
Pre order it now.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
My Real Family, The Casey Crew's The Breakfast Club.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Wake that ass up in the morning, Come Breakfast Club.
Wake that ass up in the morning. The Breakfast Club.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Yeah, it's the world knows Dangerous wanting to show to
breakfast Club Charlamagne da God.
Speaker 3 (00:08):
Laura le Ross is here, just hilarious? Is here?
Speaker 2 (00:11):
Uh?
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Who's feeling in for envy? Laura l Rosse is feeling
in for envy? Is a me filling in? He's here?
Speaker 1 (00:16):
I'm here, but she's feeling in?
Speaker 4 (00:18):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yeah, he's a guest today though, because his new book,
Real Life, Real Family with the Queen of the House
Gia Casey.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
Is out right now.
Speaker 3 (00:26):
Will comes like April fifteenth?
Speaker 1 (00:27):
Comes April fifteenth?
Speaker 3 (00:28):
Yes, how you feeling?
Speaker 5 (00:29):
You humbled by being given the opportunity to write a
book about something that is the most important thing to me,
the thing I'm the most passionate about, the thing that
brings me the most joy, family, parenting, my household, our home.
Speaker 6 (00:47):
So yes, I'm very humbled.
Speaker 7 (00:50):
This is the second book. Yes, it's amazing. You know what,
let's just rewind it back for those who don't.
Speaker 4 (00:55):
Know, who is the case Secret? Where did that name
come from? How did y'all get starty?
Speaker 3 (01:02):
Do you remember the KSE crew?
Speaker 1 (01:04):
Yes? Our last name? What do you mean?
Speaker 5 (01:05):
No?
Speaker 6 (01:05):
No, no, but do you remember how we came up
with the name.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
How do we come up with the name.
Speaker 5 (01:08):
We were doing our first podcast and it was before
we were doing like the audio version of the video version.
It was just the audio version, and we started the
podcast without a name. And we sat there and we
kind of was coming up with like different names, and
one of us said, well, how about the k C Crew.
You know, our last name is Casey. We have a
whole crew of kids, a whole gaggle.
Speaker 6 (01:29):
What about the k C Crew.
Speaker 5 (01:30):
And then people you know, DMed us and emailed and whatnot,
and they said, yeah, we love that name.
Speaker 6 (01:35):
We love that name.
Speaker 5 (01:35):
So we decided to call ourselves the KC Crew.
Speaker 1 (01:38):
Amazing that's where it came about.
Speaker 8 (01:41):
And whenever you post on social you always hashtag the
k C Crew.
Speaker 6 (01:44):
Yes, V does as well.
Speaker 8 (01:46):
But one of the things that you guys were really
good from the podcast to bringing it online is you
pay attention to the comments and the responses.
Speaker 5 (01:53):
Ki.
Speaker 6 (01:54):
Yeah, and you guys.
Speaker 8 (01:54):
Bring them into the podcast, but you also like reflect
on them on social media. So I want to read
one of the the posts that we pulled in. I
thought that this was great. You inspired me. This is
someone commenting to you, guys, you inspired me. I wish
all parents had this level of intention, planning and vibe.
Truth is, most parents, moms are stressed, overworked by trying
(02:15):
to make ends meet, in harboring trauma. Therefore, it's passed
down to the children. You've passed down light and love
because of that and because of what you are, high
five to all of the parents during their best and
you use that as a moment to talk about like, no,
it gets a little crazy over here, but oh yeah,
but it's important because when you if you've ever been
around your family, it is a lot of love and
a lot of light. But I'm sure on inside things
(02:35):
get crazy.
Speaker 5 (02:36):
Well, you know, that's a big misconception. People assume that
because you live a certain lifestyle or because you've earned
a certain financial status, that you don't have the same
problems that they have. You know, in the same comment section,
you'll see people like, oh, it's easy when you have money. Oh,
you know, like your problems are not our problems.
Speaker 6 (02:57):
But that is such a misconception.
Speaker 5 (03:01):
You know, we just got over one of the toughest
years of our lives, probably the worst year of our life,
and that yeah, the last two years have been and
that's a conversation for another day, But we've gone through
a lot of trauma, a lot of disappointment, a lot
of heartache, a lot of sadness, and things that we
had to shield our children from, things that we had
(03:25):
to figure out how to keep that brave face and
how to not let it affect our family foundation. You know,
because that trickle down effect is so real. Your kids
know when you're not happy, they know when you're stressed,
they know when you're struggling, they know when you're upset
with one another, and they receive that energy and they
(03:48):
project that energy.
Speaker 6 (03:49):
And that's something that is.
Speaker 5 (03:51):
Universal because there's not a single family out there that
doesn't have trials, tribulations, heartache, setbacks, finance stress is I
don't care who you are, you have experienced that. So
financial abundance, financial security, even for people that have that,
that in and of itself doesn't mean that you're happy.
(04:13):
Some of the most miserable people that I know do
very very well. It doesn't mean that you come along
with the skill set to know how to live a
happy life and how to teach your children how to
have a happy life. So that comment really really stood
out to me because she spoke on the troubles and
(04:35):
the trauma and the word trauma that she used, and
Rashan will speak on the word trauma. Sometimes he feels
as though it's a word that's overused, but it's a
word that represents something that so many people endure. The
difference now is that we have words to identify how
we feel and what we go through, and it's articulated.
(04:58):
Because when our feelings and our experience says are articulated,
then you're able to communicate. People are able to understand you,
You're able to understand other people. You're able to have
empathy and compassion for other people because now we're all
speaking a universal language. Like the word triggered, like the
word trauma, like the word gas. You know, these are
(05:18):
things that some may think are overused now, but yes,
but there is value there. There is value there because
now we can see each other, we understand each other.
Speaker 2 (05:30):
When you're trying to create a safe space, you know,
how is it to venture into an unsafe space like
the comics, Especially when somebody looks on the air every day,
you know what I mean, You have an opinion about it.
Speaker 5 (05:40):
Every day so I read every single comment. I interact.
It started when I had a lower follower account. It
started because I always felt that if someone follows me,
that's an investment in a small invent maybe, but it's
(06:01):
an investment that they put into me. And they're looking
at my content content, they're looking at my pictures. And
you left a comment, I want to respond back to you.
I used to respond to almost every comment, you know,
but then when my followers went up, I wasn't really
able to do that. And that was something that you know,
I had to take that on the chin. I wasn't
(06:22):
able to. But it's a sign of respect. And you said,
why do I do that to myself? Because I'm strong
enough to do that. I'm strong enough to do that.
The comments don't if they are negative, and I have
to say, I don't receive a lot of negative comments, thankfully,
thank God. But if they are negative, I look at
(06:44):
it as insight. I might ask myself, why might someone
have that perspective? Why may you have drawn that conclusion?
Speaker 6 (06:52):
To me?
Speaker 5 (06:52):
It feeds my mental because I'm a thinker. I'm a
deep thinker. I'm all over things. I love to understand people,
I love the concepts that kind of creates society. I
love to understand cause and effect relationships and things of
that nature. So for me, the comments are food and
they also bring me happiness when they're good. It lets
(07:14):
you know that you're reaching someone whatever it is that
you're putting out, because it's in the sense of sharing.
There's a lot of things that I don't share.
Speaker 6 (07:22):
You know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (07:23):
So if I choose to share and it's well received,
then that's a good feeling. I think that's why a
lot of people are on or part of the reason
why a lot of people are on social media, you
know what I mean, And I'm strong enough to do so,
and that's because of the way that I was raised.
I was raised to be a very strong and resilient woman.
It comes directly from my parents, and I'm fortunate in
(07:47):
the sense that I can look back and identify things
about the way that I was raised that created the individual,
the woman, the mother, the wife that I am, and
it's for me. It's a very beautiful thing. Both of
my parents are no longer here, so to be able
to say, wow, when my mother did this every single day,
(08:10):
or when she took me here once a week or
when she said this to me, and those compliments, and
that the way that she fed me and she fed
my soul, and the joy that I experienced and the
amount of fun that I had as a kid, like
I loved my life. And it's not because we were wealthy.
Speaker 6 (08:26):
We were not.
Speaker 5 (08:27):
We were a middle class family. I'm from Brooklyn, from
East Flatbush. We weren't raised, you know, like I'm from
an urban area.
Speaker 6 (08:34):
And it's not.
Speaker 5 (08:34):
It had nothing to do with money. It had nothing
to do with wealth. It had everything to do with
what my parents poured into my home and the love
that I felt. And that is what we put into
writing this book. There's a lot of books that we
could have written, you know, so many ideas came out
because Real Life for Love was a huge success. It
(08:55):
was a national bestseller. So it's I go, you can
write book about this. You We said we to write
a book about family. It's what we know best. It's
what we know best. We've had so many ups, so
many downs, so many wins, so many losses, so many
things that we thought we were doing right that we weren't.
That we had to regroup and make sure that we
were balanced, you know. As as a married couple, because
(09:18):
when we didn't agree, it's like my way is better,
know what my way is better? And this, you know,
we have to come to a meeting of the minds. Yeah,
you know what I mean. So our relationship, you know,
the relationship grew, you know, because we had to learn
how to see eye to eye as parents. So there
was just there was many, many ups and downs, and
we wanted to pour that all into a book, you know.
(09:41):
We wanted to let everyone know like it's really that
village mentality. It's really that like we are a community,
especially our black community because I'm black, yes, yeah, yeah,
for the record, for the record, some Spanish blood. But
(10:07):
it's like I know that you're well aware because you
speak to things of this nature often. But our history
is being erased in schools and it's being stripped away
silently in society. So the foundation starts in our homes.
(10:28):
We have to teach children how to identify themselves. We
have to teach children that sense of belonging and they
have to understand that they come from something meaningful. And
if you leave it up to society to teach them that,
you're going to wind up with children that are lost,
(10:51):
that are overlooked, that don't know how to identify themselves,
that get taken advantage of, and that are susceptible to
what society wants for them. So for us, our core,
our nucleus, our foundation, our home superseds anything else in
this world. We put our family first.
Speaker 7 (11:14):
Would you say that you and and we have two
different parenting styles, the more lenient parent.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Who was the more lenient parent?
Speaker 9 (11:24):
It depends what it is like. You know, everybody knows
my dad is retired police officer and ex military, so
I'm disciplined. I was the yell of the screamer because
I said, so is a lot different, Like she wants
to know why did you feel that she likes to
break down?
Speaker 4 (11:39):
You don't get it.
Speaker 7 (11:40):
You're gonna get it by the end of the right exactly.
Speaker 9 (11:44):
So you got to think, really think before you speak
to us, because she's like, all right, well, explain that,
like I just said it, just because no, no, no, explain this.
But so I'm more like, because I said so, she's
more like, well, you can't go to the more because
of this, because this could happen. Explain your parenting style
mine is my dad was like, no, and you didn't
ask why it was what it was.
Speaker 1 (12:03):
You just figured out later. GI is a little different.
Speaker 3 (12:06):
I prefer the explanation.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 6 (12:08):
So that's how my parents were with me.
Speaker 5 (12:11):
I knew that my parents were invested in me living
a happy, fulfilled and fun life, and we didn't go
lightly on the fun. And because I knew that, and
my parents never said no.
Speaker 6 (12:27):
Just for the sake of saying no.
Speaker 5 (12:28):
Because parents are overworked and they are stressed, and the
last thing they want to hear when they walk through
the door is.
Speaker 6 (12:34):
Mommy, can I can you take me here? Can you
buy me this? Can we watch this together?
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Can we go?
Speaker 6 (12:39):
Like slow down?
Speaker 8 (12:40):
No?
Speaker 6 (12:41):
And sometimes you say no, you don't even know why
you're saying no. That's not a good parenting technique. You
really have to take a moment. You have to take
a beat.
Speaker 5 (12:51):
We all have to take a beat to listen to
our children and be patient. And because I knew that
my parents were invested in me that way, I knew
that when they said no, there was a good reason.
Because they would never slight me. They would never tell
me no because they were too tired. They would never
tell me no just because they didn't want to be bothered.
So it's like, oh, well, if mommy said no, that
(13:14):
means that I'm not supposed to be there, or that
means that she genuinely can't take me. And they both
would take the time to explain to me, you know, like,
you don't want to go to that party in Conye
Island because in that neighborhood there's a lot of shooting
and da da da, and you're a young girl. And
I'll take it a step further. You know what my
parents used to do from time to time. They would
(13:35):
take me to a party, not the one in Coney Island,
but a party and they would park and wait outside
for me for two or three hours until I came out.
And this was before cell phones and all that stuff.
My dad had this whole portable TV and he would
recline his seat, set the portable TV up on the dashboard,
and just watch TV until or whatever it was that
(13:57):
he was watching, until I came out. That let me
know that my parents rooted for me.
Speaker 6 (14:01):
They wanted me to enjoy life.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
So when they told me no, I knew that I
had no.
Speaker 6 (14:07):
Business considering it.
Speaker 5 (14:08):
Considering whatever it was that I was considering.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Take a step forward. The other day, London, which is
our eleven year old, wanted to walk to a friend's
house after school. A friend's house was a block.
Speaker 6 (14:18):
Away, two blocks, two blocks.
Speaker 9 (14:20):
Gear drives in a car looking like a stalker and
followed them the two blocks as they're walking.
Speaker 1 (14:26):
But London, no, London was like, that's my mom following us.
I don't worry. But she just wanted to walk, and
Gear followed her ass right to that house.
Speaker 5 (14:32):
Well, the thing is that, you know, she's eleven, so
she wants to all of her friends, all of them
they walk home from school because they all live in
the same neighborhood and they all walk home. But London
is not allowed to walk home. No, absolutely, positively not.
And there's there's this very significant reason for it, well
at least a partial reason. And I said, all right, babe,
(14:53):
you can walk, but I'm going to follow you those
two blocks.
Speaker 6 (14:57):
She's like, okay, mommy, no problem.
Speaker 5 (14:59):
Meanwhile, you have a kids that might be like, oh
why can't I just can't you trust me eleven?
Speaker 6 (15:05):
I'm not stupid, you know, other kids would rebel.
Speaker 5 (15:09):
Our kids are so conditioned to understanding that it's for
their safety, and they welcome it, especially like our oldest Madison, Madison,
when she went to college, she was like, can you
chip me, like, like put a chip in her arm.
Speaker 9 (15:28):
Because it was almost kidnapped as a kid. They try
to grab her the door, someone face being cut. So
we are very extra.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
When it comes to our kids.
Speaker 9 (15:40):
And then you know, Charlemagne and you guys know things
that has happened, you know, behind the scenes, but we're
very careful when it comes to the kids.
Speaker 5 (15:45):
Yeah, when I was nine, a man tried to abduct
me and it was awful.
Speaker 4 (15:50):
She was walking the door, I was, and all that
he choked.
Speaker 5 (15:53):
Me out like he he had a change of clothes hidden.
Speaker 6 (15:58):
He was caught. He was caught.
Speaker 5 (15:59):
But that's yeah, that story is in the book. But
you know, so I experience, I understand. I come from
a place where I understand that the worst can happen
to you, you know, because we go through life hily like,
oh no, that happens to other people, you know, other
people go through things like that. I've been through so
much that I understand that the worst can happen to you.
(16:22):
So I protect my kids with vigilance because of that
personal knowledge that I have of it.
Speaker 3 (16:28):
Yeah, make sure, you not. You're raising the kids out
of love and not fear.
Speaker 5 (16:31):
At though that's such a good question, it comes with
the explanations, do you know what I mean? I don't
tell them you can't do this and you can't do that.
Why because I said so, let me explain to you why.
You know, sometimes we'll watch the news together, you know,
when they're at an appropriate age, at about nine years old.
(16:53):
You know, I think that they're mature enough to ingest
certain things. So what I do is I would record
it on my DVR and then cherry pick different stories
that I think that are appropriate, that speak to the
protective measures that we take on them, you.
Speaker 6 (17:07):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (17:08):
So it's like, if I see a child abduction that's
not too traumatic, I might save that and then show
it to a child that's old enough. You know.
Speaker 6 (17:16):
I did it with Madison.
Speaker 5 (17:17):
I did it with Logan, and I find that they
take that into their adult lives and they're very very
Madison Like. Madison walks around like a police officer. She
has a boyfriend. His name is Andrew, and when they
go into a restaurant, she's the one that sits facing
the door. She feels like the protective force in that
relationship because her head is always on.
Speaker 6 (17:40):
Swivel, you know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (17:41):
She could tell you a car that was driving six
cars ahead, you know, and she's always paying attention to
license plates. When she was young, I used to go
through like in case you get kidnapped scenarios because it's
the type of information that can save a child's life.
(18:10):
It's the type of information that can save a life,
especially now with all of this human trafficking and all
the stories with you know you they put like a
zip zip tag on your on your on your door,
and they put a dollar or money near your there's
there's all these techniques.
Speaker 6 (18:30):
Girls are being taken. So if you have a.
Speaker 5 (18:34):
Young girl, it is very proactive to educate them about
the realities and the tricks and the cons that people.
You know, because even me as proactive as I try
to be, that whole technique with a baby crying outside
your house, I would I would be inclined to open
the door if I hear a baby crying and someone
(18:55):
that sounds like a mother yelling and screaming outside the house.
Speaker 6 (18:57):
I am that type of person, but not me, but
now I am I am.
Speaker 5 (19:07):
I would my heart with my I would be inclined
to open that door. But now with all the knowledge
and some of the good things about social media is
that so much knowledge is being spread, so now we're
consuming good information as well. So I heard that, I'm like, wow,
that's absolutely absolutely right.
Speaker 6 (19:25):
It jogs your thinking.
Speaker 5 (19:27):
It makes you say, oh, wait a minute, I do
have to put myself first, even if someone else, a stranger,
seems to be in need. I have to prioritize myself,
my home, my family. So you know, it's it's important
to spread information and to teach your kids, even though
it may be a little scary, but you do have
to do it in a way where it doesn't incite fear.
Speaker 6 (19:46):
How do y'all, ah, how y'all pick and choose?
Speaker 8 (19:49):
What do y'all like, what y'all decide to be transparent about,
because there's so much, Like you have stuff that you
have to protect them from just because they're going to
school and you guys, people know you. But then you
also have stuff that just happening in the world that
they could encounter with their friends. Like it's just so much.
Your kids are getting older and they're like, you know,
like they they're wanting to walk by themselves with their friends.
Speaker 9 (20:06):
Know, if it was up to me, I'm transparent with
everything right has to hold back a lot. And the
reason I think I'm suaming, Well, the reason I'm so
transparent I'll explain. But the reason I'm so transparent.
Speaker 4 (20:17):
What you mean?
Speaker 9 (20:25):
But you know, so some things get you know, like
for instance, like with Logan. Right, Logan when he was
in high school used to get picked on all the time. Right,
but he used to get picked on. Guess for what reason?
Speaker 1 (20:38):
No, because because Charlamage. Yes, yes, so when you gave
me to ask, that's.
Speaker 9 (20:45):
Why he gave me the buck cake when he gave
me much better.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
You know what I mean, We're not about to hate.
He used to get made fun of it because of that.
Speaker 9 (21:06):
So, but the reason I'm so transparent is there's so
many families and people dealing with the same things but
never want to talk about it. Scared to So that's
why I talked about the orgasm thing in the first book.
That's why in this in the second but we talk
about you know the time that from.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
No, no, not every every you want to do some.
Speaker 9 (21:33):
Even like in this book we talk about the time
that that uh Logan found a bloody condom at one
of his friend's house, so he can't, but he's he's
comfortable while looking at that.
Speaker 1 (21:46):
It wasn't mine.
Speaker 3 (21:49):
He's like, oh he found blood.
Speaker 5 (21:53):
Right friends, and and he was like maybe nine years old,
nine years old.
Speaker 6 (22:02):
He was about nine years old.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
But he was comfortable enough to keep in the basement.
Speaker 6 (22:06):
And the little boy had an older brother.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
Yeah, when Charlamagne gave daddy, so she had That's when
we had the sex talk and had to have the
sex talks with Logan and Madison. What kind of sex
talk though, it wasn't a backdoor sex talk that they
just birds and beans and wasp and.
Speaker 5 (22:32):
They got a full blown okay sex talk. They had
to understand because if you leave it back.
Speaker 2 (22:39):
Door sex, if that's what I'm really trying to figure out,
why was the condon bloody?
Speaker 4 (22:43):
I'm really because when somebody ran red.
Speaker 7 (22:45):
Like yeah, just ripped some my butt open, somebody ran
a red.
Speaker 8 (22:54):
Don't be like the first time thing?
Speaker 5 (22:56):
Yeah yeah, but no they at that point I found
that they were old enough and mature enough, and they're
encountering things now. These conversations are being had amongst their peers,
and I knew that if I didn't set them straight,
that they were going to be absorbing all of this
wrong information and wrong ideas. So I told them sex
(23:19):
feels good. It's a pleasureful experience. God made us that
way because God wants us to reproduce. He wants us
to create offspring. So he made it something that we
would enjoy. But it's meant for someone that you love,
and that's the reason why. So they're like, oh, okay,
so what is it.
Speaker 4 (23:38):
Like and what did you say?
Speaker 5 (23:42):
Okay, if I'm being honest, I told them that there
is a penis, and there is a vagina and it
does slide in and out. And my son Logan was like,
so like this, yeah, they're a bad Yeah, they're eleven
about they're about eleven and nine.
Speaker 6 (24:05):
That I'll never forget since you asked, he was like,
so is it like like? I was like, yeah, something
like that.
Speaker 5 (24:16):
I said, you know, some people look at it as
a negative thing.
Speaker 6 (24:21):
No, no, no, he really didn't know. He really didn't.
Speaker 5 (24:24):
He really didn't even even like my eleven year old
son right now, he does not know. He asked me
three days ago, like what does sexual mean?
Speaker 6 (24:33):
I said, it's not for you. It's not for you
to understand right now.
Speaker 5 (24:36):
So when they asked me questions that I don't want
them to know about. And he's older than Logan was,
But now with I have a better grip on his
friends and a grip on what he's exposed to on
his phone and whatnot in Parameter's boundaries, So I'm really
abreast of what he knows and what he doesn't in
our lines of communication are better, way better.
Speaker 6 (24:59):
Like he like those kids.
Speaker 5 (25:01):
They come to me every day and when they get
home from school, either for a half an hour an hour,
depending on what activity they have.
Speaker 6 (25:07):
Afterwards, they have their turns.
Speaker 5 (25:09):
They sit at the foot of my bed, they lay
down or they sit down and they tell me about
their entire day.
Speaker 6 (25:14):
They tell me the.
Speaker 5 (25:14):
Best part of their day, the worst part of their day,
and one kind thing that they did for someone else
that day. So that's just our routine, that's our ritual.
And they tell me everything. And you would be shocked
and appalled to know the things that they divulge. But
it's because we create that safe space, We create that
soft place to land, We create a no judgment zone.
(25:36):
You could tell me anything. It could be the world's worst.
I will never ever judge you. I will help you
fix it. We'll extract all the lessons everything that you
need to learn from it, whether you were wrong, whether
you weren't whatever. It is like this is your safe
space and they have that foundation. So they share, they share,
and we take that time like we share.
Speaker 4 (25:58):
Yeah, you have six games?
Speaker 7 (26:00):
So was there anything because y'all have all age groups?
So is there anything that you felt like in the
beginning y'all didn't know until y'all got to that six kid,
of course, like what were some of the I'll give
you an example.
Speaker 4 (26:15):
You didn't know. You just was like, well we may
and Rashan winging.
Speaker 6 (26:17):
This, I'll give you. I'll give you an example.
Speaker 5 (26:20):
But to speak to what you said, like we wrote
a book, that doesn't mean that we know everything, and
it doesn't mean that it's not an evolution. It doesn't
mean that we're still learning every single day. Like I
said earlier, it's a sense of community where we share
our experiences and the wins and the losses so that
other people can understand they're not alone.
Speaker 6 (26:41):
And it comes in.
Speaker 5 (26:42):
All shades, all forms, all fashions, all financial groups. We
all speak a universal universal language as parents with Logan,
so one of one of the fails, and this was
something that we disagreed on. So it was the explaining
everything to the kids.
Speaker 6 (27:02):
I have the patience to do it.
Speaker 5 (27:04):
And he really is a because I said so type
of guy. And it worked beautifully with Madison, but with
Logan from a young age, I would explain everything to
him and he's a mama's.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
Boy times thirty and he tells us he.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
Is that boy, Like we have a thing, you know,
and I have a different thing with all of my kids,
but me and him.
Speaker 6 (27:26):
Have our thing. Like he calls me at.
Speaker 5 (27:29):
All times of the day, all time. He will call
me at three o'clock in the morning, like at twelve
o'clock in the afternoon, and she's like, yea, what's up, mom,
what's going on?
Speaker 6 (27:37):
You're good?
Speaker 5 (27:37):
Yeah, I'm good. I was just at the club home.
I'm about to FaceTime you. Lucas and Andrew are here.
Take a look, take a look, and I'm like, what's up?
Speaker 6 (27:44):
Sleep is up? But okay, you know what I mean.
Like we're very, very close.
Speaker 5 (27:49):
But it kind of went wrong with him because what
we found was that we created an environment where he
felt that he was entitled to an explanation, and he
felt as though because we gave him too safe of
a space that he could challenge me. And he can
challenge a decision that I made. And he's very and
(28:13):
he's very intelligent. He's very, very intelligent. So Rashwan always
says that I'm like a lawyer, right, he says it
all the time. I know what it feels like because
I have a logan and logan lawyers me, do you
know what I mean?
Speaker 1 (28:28):
So they do it each other all day long.
Speaker 4 (28:31):
Yes, all day.
Speaker 5 (28:31):
Long, and in a lot of ways, I enjoy it
because I feel like he really does challenge me, and
he's one of the only people that I feel like
does that in my life. And I love to see
the mental exercise. I love to see how his brain
is moving and how he's getting around the things that
I'm saying and things like that.
Speaker 6 (28:48):
So it's good at his adult age.
Speaker 5 (28:50):
Now because he's twenty one, But when he was a child,
it wasn't acceptable because I'm going to explain because this
is what I do. But now you're not understanding that
that's a grace that I show you. It's not something
that you're entitled to This is a courtesy that I'm
extending to you, but you're not entitled. So we had
(29:11):
to dial that back. And then we had to teach
boundaries and let him know his place because he started
to misunderstand his place. So that was that was a
fail in a sense. And Rashalmud always looking at me
like see I told you, Like see I told you.
Speaker 1 (29:31):
Because he's a bad guy.
Speaker 9 (29:32):
Because now I got to go discipline that, right, So
now me and Logan get into it.
Speaker 3 (29:36):
And now you can't beat Logan because Logan.
Speaker 9 (29:41):
So now I got a discipline Logan, and then me
and Logan get into it. But one thing about Logan
and all of our kids, which is the craziest thing,
is they're very forgiven. Like with Logan, I have to
get sometimes so disrespectful for him to understand.
Speaker 1 (29:52):
And the next day he's like, hey Dad, what's up.
And I'm like, hey Dad, what's up. But that's how
he is, and he just has conversations.
Speaker 9 (29:57):
But we have those conversations and we understand and we
but he's the one that just like.
Speaker 6 (30:02):
His mom, did you fail like a failure?
Speaker 4 (30:05):
No?
Speaker 5 (30:05):
No, I didn't feel like a failure, but I knew
that that technique wasn't wasn't necessarily a fail, but it
needed tweaking.
Speaker 6 (30:13):
So then we had.
Speaker 5 (30:15):
Our other four and there was a huge gap. There's
about nine years between Logan and London. So I wanted
to maintain what I always believed in and how I
was raised, but I wanted to implement some of because
I told you so as well, Like I am going
to explain to you, but I'm going to let you
know that it is because I'm showing you grace and
it's because I respect you. So in turn, you have
(30:37):
to respect me, and you have to respect the decision.
And we can talk about it as long as it's
coming from a good place. And I'm not sensing any
attitude from you, any entitlement from you, or anything that
I don't like to feel as we sit here and
discuss it. So you got to make sure you keep
it right. And my kids get it. So this pack
of three, because Peyton's three years old, but my eleven,
(30:59):
my ten, and my eight, they get it. Like I
tell them, if they were really curious, they might question,
and then after I say it again, they're like, okay, absolutely,
whatever it is. And so it's it's through that trial
and error with Madison and Logan that were able to
take all the good stuff, you know, all the good
stuff and pour it into this second batch of kids.
Speaker 8 (31:21):
No, go ahead, I thought, I'm asking so much.
Speaker 4 (31:23):
So no, it's okay.
Speaker 7 (31:26):
So in the beginning, So going back to something you
said earlier, you were saying that the past two years
was very traumatic and not getting into that. How challenging
(31:46):
was it writing this book? Like was it ever moments
where you AMers or just you like broke down, like
not like giving up, But it was challenging for you
to get deep into any you know, any of the
chapters or what you win through within the pastry.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
You you know what, I'll be honest with you, no
pun intended, But I'm an open book. I'm not a
private person. I've never been a very private person. And
it's because I feel as though the value in life
is truth. You know, even if it's not pretty. You know,
there's no value to anything if it's not honest, if
(32:23):
it's not true, if it's not transparent, if it's bs,
it's worthless. You know, if you wrap everything in a
pretty bow, it's worthless because who can relate to you, nobody.
I can't relate to people that appear to be perfect
or pretend to be perfect, because I don't know you.
I don't know anybody like you, you know what I mean.
So anytime that I'm honest or I'm vulnerable about something,
(32:46):
to me, it's like giving a little gift from myself.
It's sharing something that I know other people wouldn't share
because they'd be too embarrassed or it disrupts the image
that they're trying to present, so that I don't respect.
So it's very easy for me to tell my truth
from where I genuinely come from.
Speaker 3 (33:06):
You know, did you have a family mission statement?
Speaker 4 (33:09):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (33:10):
What is the mission statement? And tell people the importance of.
Speaker 9 (33:12):
That, well, just so we know, we don't have it
on our wall and then make the kids read it
when they walk in the house.
Speaker 1 (33:16):
It's not like that.
Speaker 9 (33:19):
So our mission statement is just something that we, you know,
as a family, we all live by, right, And I'll
read some of them. And the reason is is we
are a close unit, right, So if you see us together,
we're all always out together. You see me the other
day with Jackson, You've seen me before, and Chelan has
seen before.
Speaker 1 (33:34):
So the mission statement is we are a unit, right,
we all ride together like we are really a unit,
a unit.
Speaker 9 (33:39):
I'm an only child, so I'm I'm heavy into taking
care of each other.
Speaker 4 (33:44):
Right.
Speaker 9 (33:45):
We respect each other, of course, it's simple, like we
make sure that, you know, we respect each other's feeling.
Speaker 1 (33:50):
We always have each other's backs.
Speaker 9 (33:51):
That's one thing that we always do, and it's you know,
sometimes when we have conversations up here, I always talk
about my kids.
Speaker 1 (33:56):
So when they see stuff on social media.
Speaker 9 (33:58):
At times I have to stop them because they will
go in, especially Logan Logan, Oh yeah, we always loved
uplift each other and point out the good in one another. Right,
So we see that more especially with our girls in
dance because they compete against each other a lot. So
when they do, we have to make sure that regardless
of what happens. Like a couple of weeks ago, London
lost and we thought London got jerked. So I told
(34:20):
you know, I had a conversation with Brooklyn, and Brooklyn
was like that, don't worry, I'm gonna get first and
second four And she went out there and busted at
that first and second.
Speaker 6 (34:26):
He got first place and second again.
Speaker 9 (34:28):
You know gave the first place to her sister, because
that's what it was. We represent each other at all times.
That's how it always is. So we always tell our
kids if we're not there, you make sure that those
parents come back and say, oh my gosh, she was
such a pleasure.
Speaker 1 (34:40):
He was polite, he was this even with Jackson at
the game.
Speaker 9 (34:44):
You know, Jackson said thank you a million one time,
so you said hello million one time.
Speaker 1 (34:48):
So you because that's what he's taught to do, that
you show.
Speaker 6 (34:50):
Respect one before you go on with that.
Speaker 5 (34:55):
My goal for my kids is that when they leave
our house, I want everyone that they come in contact
with to know that they're well loved.
Speaker 6 (35:03):
Do you know what I mean?
Speaker 5 (35:05):
Like, I want them to know that they're well loved.
What we teach you inside this house, you exemplify outside
of this house. And it's so interesting because you know,
as parents, we have a goal, you know, and these
are goals that we vocalize to one another. So when
we get calls from other parents when our kids are
on a playdate, teachers principles. Both sets of kids went
(35:30):
to a new school and we got calls from like
the parent the teachers, like what are you guys doing
in that house? What are you doing with these kids?
Like I've never seen this before, and all three of
them are like this.
Speaker 6 (35:43):
It lets you.
Speaker 5 (35:44):
Know that you're doing something right, you're doing something meaningful.
Speaker 6 (35:48):
Those teachers know.
Speaker 5 (35:49):
That they're well loved, and of course other children are
well loved. It's not that, but it's coming from a
mental space that you understand. And like what we talked
about earlier about articulating words and things, when you articulate
something to a child and you do it in a
way where they understand what it means and what their
(36:11):
actions mean. Because you can love your child to death,
you could take a bullet for them. You do, you
work hard, you hustle, you do everything for your kids.
You love your kids, but they could still go out
and be a menace because the lessons may be lost.
And these are things that a lot of parents don't
put into perspective when raising children because what do.
Speaker 6 (36:30):
We usually do. We take it.
Speaker 5 (36:33):
We take, like, you know, an idea, and we throw
it up against the wall and we see if it
sticks or not.
Speaker 6 (36:36):
You know what I mean? Oh that worked, Oh that
didn't okay.
Speaker 5 (36:39):
But a lot of people don't have something tangible that
they can go back to and be like, this is
this is this is a way to create a foundation.
This is a way to create a structure. And because
we had so many ups and downs, we were able
to do that and put it in one place.
Speaker 1 (36:58):
And I think the biggest story now hate want to
tell a story was Jackson. Right.
Speaker 9 (37:01):
So we had a parent teacher's night a couple of
weeks ago and a teacher came up to me.
Speaker 1 (37:06):
The teacher that I had no idea you know who
he was a step night. Yeah, So he walks off
to me. He was like, are you Jackson's dad? And
I'm like yeah. When a teacher usually asked that' usually
some bs.
Speaker 3 (37:15):
Right.
Speaker 1 (37:15):
So I'm like, oh, hey, we go what did Jackson do?
Speaker 9 (37:17):
And he was like, I just want to tell you, you know,
Jackson did something that no child or adult has done
in my life.
Speaker 1 (37:23):
I'm like, well, what's that?
Speaker 9 (37:25):
And he was like the other day, I'm walking down
the hall and Jackson comes running up to me and
he goes, you know, are you okay?
Speaker 1 (37:30):
And the teacher was like, what do you mean? He
was like, you just don't look as happy as usually do,
or you are right? Is anything bothering you. Would you
like to have a conversation with me and just talk
it through.
Speaker 9 (37:42):
I was like, nah, you just don't seem as happy
as you do, but don't let things stress you out.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
Just pray on it and tomorrow be better. Right and
if you need to talk to me, come talk to me.
Speaker 9 (37:50):
And he said Jackson ran off and he was like,
I've never had an adult or a child ever do
that to me.
Speaker 1 (37:54):
So he was like, whatever you're doing at home, continue that,
and you know, I mean.
Speaker 9 (37:58):
That just shows what the kids are learning that home
is worth every Yeah, so you.
Speaker 3 (38:02):
Need to report that teacher too. He don't need to
be in school.
Speaker 4 (38:09):
Was like, you got some time.
Speaker 7 (38:15):
So it was the only person, I mean, London was
the only person that saw him at.
Speaker 1 (38:21):
Jackson.
Speaker 6 (38:28):
So that was stem night.
Speaker 5 (38:30):
But at the parent teacher conference, one of the teachers
said that if she could use one word to describe Jackson,
it would be grateful. And she said, in thirty years
of teaching, I've never used that word with a child before.
I said, well, what do you mean by grateful? He says?
She said, every day, after every lesson, he comes up
(38:50):
to me and says, thank you for teaching. Me today
and I said really, And he said she said where,
Like where did like where does he get that from?
Speaker 6 (38:58):
Like what's what's like? You know?
Speaker 5 (38:59):
I said, that's his own interpretation. But when he plays
sports after every game, I tell him to shake the referees'
hand and look him in this, look him in the
eye a nice strong handshake, and say thank you. And
do the same thing with your coach, because these are
people that give their time, that don't have to give
their time, and it's for you and for your benefit
in your learning and your greatness. So you acknowledge that
(39:22):
man or that woman and you say thank you. So
I think that that's his interpretation how he's doing it
in another way, you know what I mean.
Speaker 4 (39:30):
Such a beautiful family, Thank you. And this man will
crashed out for any of y'all. I know.
Speaker 1 (39:40):
Behind the scenes a bunch of times.
Speaker 9 (39:41):
And Jessica was like, yo, you crash out for you?
Speaker 4 (39:45):
No, man, tell me I'm interested.
Speaker 1 (39:49):
Excuse me?
Speaker 4 (39:51):
Shut up? Anyway, when is baby number seven?
Speaker 6 (39:54):
The shop is closed?
Speaker 5 (39:56):
This ship has said the shop is not closed.
Speaker 6 (40:02):
No, no, there's no sip snip.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
But I know how not to get pregnant. No, no,
I don't want them to get the case you ever wanted.
Speaker 6 (40:13):
No, I just don't think it's necessary. I know how
not to get pregnant.
Speaker 3 (40:21):
Want the husband. I'm sorry say that again for the
wives who want their husbands.
Speaker 6 (40:26):
I don't know.
Speaker 5 (40:26):
Other other women may have gotten pregnant unintentionally and have
a different view, But me personally, I just you know,
like people have asked me, like, do you want to
get your tubes tied? I just like our natural bodies
and I like them to function the way that they function.
And if I can take a human precaution to prevent
(40:46):
a particular result and don't do that, I don't. I
don't think that it's for me. It's not necessary. I
absolutely understand why people do both of those procedures, but
for me, I just don't find it to be necessary.
That's all, you know.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
April fifteen, it'll be out in bookstores everywhere everywhere you
buy books.
Speaker 3 (41:05):
Man Gid, thank you for pulling up.
Speaker 6 (41:07):
Thank you so much. You can pre order on Amazon
right now.
Speaker 9 (41:10):
And for everybody else. We just want to add this
last part. We actually wrote it with somebody that helped
us out that we'll talk about that that helped us
with terms and helped us with different phrases and helped
us with made sure that we were actually doing the
right thing when it came to raising our kids.
Speaker 5 (41:23):
Yeah, so we wrote it alongside a psychologist because yes,
because we wanted to make sure that our outlooks were
were on the level that I would want to put
it out to the public. I wanted the psychological research
and quarterbacking behind the way that we parent to pretty
(41:47):
much put a stamp on it, to know that what
we're doing not just from our personal experience driven point
of view is sound, but from a psychological point of
view is also sound. I wanted to make sure that
alongside the true truth and the transparency and the experience
that we had that backing to the book as well.
I wanted that level of value in the book as well.
(42:08):
So and also, you know, if you have a child
with anxiety, add ADHD, other setbacks, other disabilities, you know
we speak to you in this book as well, because
those people are very like they don't have that many resources.
This book is for anyone who is a parent, a
single parent, a parent.
Speaker 1 (42:27):
That is married, may be about to have kids.
Speaker 5 (42:30):
Someone that wants to have a child.
Speaker 4 (42:36):
Look over here.
Speaker 6 (42:38):
Thank you It's, It's, It's, It's Forever.
Speaker 5 (42:39):
It's a very relatable book, and there's a lot of
exercises in the book. We kind of also created it
in like a workbook style, so there's a lot of reflections.
There's a lot of places in there for you to
answer questions, so you can kind of analyze yourself and
understand your own point of view in a way of
like articulation, where if you haven't really thought about certain things,
it'll jog you to think about things. And even if
(43:00):
you don't do don't take our take, it encourages you
and helps you to come up with your own takes
on parenting.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
So you have April fifteenth, guys, pre order it now.
Speaker 6 (43:09):
Pre order it now.
Speaker 3 (43:10):
My Real Family, The Casey Crew's The Breakfast Club.
Speaker 1 (43:14):
Wake that ass up in the morning, Come Breakfast Club.
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