Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Mojo in the Morning. What if you are with
(00:04):
someone that you are not attracted to? Kevin, Yeah, with
a discussion right now here on the Mojo in the Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I would love to know. First, let me ask you
all the question.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Have you ever been with someone that they were Okay,
they weren't ugly, right, but they weren't attractive to you?
Or they weren't attracted What I'm trying to say, they
weren't attractive to you? Yeah, like you didn't find them attractive,
but you found their personality attractive. You like who they were,
what they did, what they were about, but the looks
just weren't up to the standard that you know you
typically have. Is that somebody that you've been with or
(00:35):
could you see yourself doing that?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Honestly?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
And I don't know what this says about me, but no,
because that's such a huge part of the equation. To me,
they weren't to be attracted to this to the person
that I'm dating.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I had sex once when I was like nineteen or
twenty years old with a girl that was not great looking.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But why did you have sex with her? Because of
it was that it was an option.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
It was like it was available, and I had sexual
I had sex with her, and I will say this
to you, she became more attractive the more that we
had hung out with each other.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Just what to say.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
I've never dated anybody like repulsive or anybody that I
was like not attracted to. But I do value characteristics
that are not physical more than the physical ones. So like,
if you're funny, you're way hotter than.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Me, but there's still that attractiveness peace, you're not repulsive.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'm not like, oh, you're gross.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I look at my old pictures of when Chelsea and
I first got together, and I don't understand what the
hell she saw in me. I think it had to
be my personality or just my kindness of who I was,
because I look at pictures sometimes and she's like so
cute and stuff, and I'm like a freaking you know,
I look like a model for Men's warehouse plus what I.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Mean, yeah, or the x xal that story is.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
So this came up yesterday because there's a couple that
have been married for about a year or so and
the guy in the relationship has never really been aggressive
and in terms of trying to have sex with his wife,
but she thought it would change for some reason when
they got married, and it hasn't changed yet, and it's
starting to become a heavy discussion in their relationship where
(02:11):
she's not as happy as she would be if that
was something that was a priority. And I started asking
all of these questions like was is he sleeping with
somebody else?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And all of that was no, no, No, they seem fine,
they seem good, they seem like they love each other.
He's in love with her, and I'm like, well, maybe
it's just one of those things where he's never really
been attracted to her. Because full transparency, I've been in
relationships like that where I loved who the person was,
even though I wasn't as attracted to them that I
was to other women physically physically, but I enjoyed who
(02:43):
they were, what they represented, and that's what I wanted
to fall in love with. But it always came up
sometimes where you'd just be like, You'll look at it
and be like, oh, you know what I mean, just
the reality, and I feel like that's why they're not
having sex like.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
That, huh, I hear's the thing. I think that that's
very honest of them to say, to talk about that
but I also have seen people over time where they
their looks kind of change.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
That's what I was going to say, that would that
unfortunately makes sense to me, But after being married for
only a year, that's.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Have you ever done that game at all with either
your husband or with any other past relationships where you say,
if I had an accident and my face got you know,
melted off, would you still love me?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Like? Have you ever got that game? Before we play
this game?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
I'm very honest with this game, and he cannot believe
how honestly well I am that I'm not going to
play the game in lie, what do you say? I
like one of the quite like one question that he
got upset with, if I'm remembering correctly, is and Wes,
if you're listening to Colin because I don't want to
(03:58):
have the narrative here, but I think he asked me
if something happened to him and he passed away, would
I get married for a third time? And I was like, yeah,
and I don't know why that like really like.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
What I was talking about was if Wes said, Hey,
if I lost my legs, would is still like you
hum with me?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Or whatever?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
You know, No, we don't or we'll do the one if.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
But it's not that if Wes lost his hair. He's
got great hair. He does have great hair, He's got
he's got a lot of other great things on that body.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
This is so weird to me because in every relationship,
the end goal is to make it till dust us
part right, which is hopefully very late in life.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Have you ever looked at a seven year old and
we're like, oh my god, you're banging hot?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Apart from like Helen Mirren, what's you know what I mean? Like, honestly,
I find man so much literally on.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
This one, because I'm not talking about like George Clooney
and is part. I'm talking about Gary who literally for
sixty years and he's got dolls but hang down to
his knees.
Speaker 6 (05:10):
Are you going to tell me that?
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Like, I don't know if you happy in your marriage
because I don't want to jump your bones because your
bones are about to be in a box under ground
any minute, now, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I think it's.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Different though, when you're in a relationship and you grow
and you love that person, I see them differently than
if you were just a leitary.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Question boggles my mind because they just got married, right,
So if he if he was never attracted physically attracted
to her and they're not having sex a year into
their marriage, there's a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
There's something going on. What's up? G your voice disguise,
what's going on?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
Good morning. I've been with my husband for quite a
long time. It's I'm I'm not physically attracted to him anymore.
It's not that I wasn't in the past. It's wait,
has a lot to do with it. We both have
gained weight.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
You know, it happens.
Speaker 7 (06:04):
Life happens.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
Yeah, but it's just at this time in my life,
I just don't know. And wow, so wait, so we
still we still have a sex life, for sure.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But it's not as we make it crazy fun. No,
And it's because he's gained weight. We both have, okay,
but you look at him differently though you're not.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
He doesn't. He doesn't get you excited, not as.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
Much as you used to. As God, And that is
to say I don't not love the man. I love
the mansion my soul. But yeah, it's just the physicality
of it.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Honestly.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
How big of a deal is this and has this
been in a relationship it's been.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
On and off over the past years that we've been together.
Just be an issue.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, well, I mean the level of love that you
have for him, like with him gaining weight change.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
You just don't find I love him till the day
I die, but.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
You find other men much more attractive because they look differently.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Yeah. Do you think you'd ever cheat?
Speaker 6 (07:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Okay, Well, that's that's good to say. I mean seriously,
because I do think that it is interesting over time.
You know, there are those that let themselves go, but
also there are those that that they can't control it.
I have a friend of mine who got alopecia and
she lost all of her hair, and one of the
most beautiful things that I have ever heard is the men,
(07:33):
the man that's in her life say I love you
whether you have hair or don't have it, and looks
at her the same way. You can't control something like
alopecia losing all your hair. Voices, Guys, Jay.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
What's up? Jay?
Speaker 6 (07:45):
Hey, how's it going good?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
What's going on? You're being voices? Guys? Do you want
to comment on this?
Speaker 7 (07:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (07:51):
So if you get into I got into a relationship
with somebody that was not very attractive because they gave
a false narrative. And now that that we're so deep
into the relationship and this person showed its true colors,
It's like waking up next to a different person. I
see that he's unattractive because of all of his bad traits,
(08:14):
and now I see it, Like it's like, does that
make sense? Like it's a different person. Now he doesn't
look the same.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes, he's changed because of the narrative has changed.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Yeah, like everything was supposed to be so good, like, oh,
all his friends pushed it, like why won't you give
him a chance? And then I gave him a chance?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And now are you later?
Speaker 6 (08:35):
It's gone nothing but downhill?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
You're married?
Speaker 6 (08:38):
Dan, No, we've just we're just dating.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Are you gonna leave him?
Speaker 6 (08:47):
Right now? We are talking about how unhappy I am.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Wow, Well, here's the thing that is I think way
different than looks. I mean, I'm sure he's become unattracted.
I think that. I think looks is one thing. But
I think if a person's character and what they're all about,
you can.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
If their whole life that they've told you is a lie,
you have every right to get out of that relationship,
especially if you're not married.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Christian, what's going on? Spoke Joe in the morning.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
Hey, how are you guys?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Good?
Speaker 8 (09:18):
So me and my wife have had a discussion about
it that if it ever comes to a point where
we are unattractive to each other, we would just have
an open relationship.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Would you guys have to agree upon it?
Speaker 8 (09:32):
Yeah, so we both have agreed that. You know, she
would allow only that she doesn't feel as comfortable doing
it herself, but she would allow me.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
So you're already thinking about this, or you guys wouldn't
have brought it up.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
Yeah, so we've thought about it just in case. Like
you know, we don't want it to be at a
cheating point where it's behind each other's back. You know,
we kind of want to have a full transparency with
you know, if whatever it does come to it later on,
then we rather because we love each other to death.
But if the attractiveness goes.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Away, then I'll be honest with you, I would be
shocked if she or you, whoever brought it up to
each other, would be okay with it. It's one thing
to talk about it hypothetically. It's another thing to act
upon it and just see what that does to a
person's ego and how they feel about themselves.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
How long have y'all been together.
Speaker 8 (10:27):
We've been together for a long time. We've been married
for eight years.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And when did you stop finding her attractive? No, he
still finds her attractive.
Speaker 8 (10:37):
Message, So I still find her attractive. I think there's
just things that become some things that you know, she
can do that become unattractive.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
But like what, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (10:51):
It can be. It can be sometimes in you know,
the way she acts or the way she addresses that
I'm like, I don't I don't find that attractive, you
know what.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I mean, Like like she's dressing.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Uh.
Speaker 8 (11:05):
Sometimes it's like the way she's dressing, not as in
like too appealing or like over the top that she's
showing off. It's just like you know, you know she
can dress maybe a little bit better than that, or
like if we go out, so I'm like, oh wow,
compared to you know, the way she's dressed or something.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Then another way, do you talk about that with her
that that like bugs you a little bit?
Speaker 8 (11:28):
Because I wonder, Yeah, we have, we have talked a
lot about like we're very open with how we feel.
You know, she has told me sometimes it was like, oh,
the way you dress, I don't like it. You know,
it's very unattractive. So I mean we've we like to
keep it, you know, very open with each other. So
but I mean it has become a discussion later on
(11:51):
in life, if it ever happens.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Then what her response to you not liking the way
she dresses.
Speaker 8 (11:59):
I mean, it's kind of just like you know, oh well,
and I mean my response is kind of the same.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
So it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Though you can change the clothes, you can't change the person.
You obviously aren't looking at the person then, and maybe
this is maybe one of the reasons she's dressing in
that way is you're not giving her the confident feeling
that she's can do anything, like I think you've got
to be able to, you know, let her feel like
she can do nothing wrong in your eyes. She now
(12:31):
thinks that she can because you're already looking towards somebody else.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That was pretty damn good, you can.
Speaker 7 (12:39):
Tell you.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Honestly, that's speaking from the heart though. That's that's it's
the truth. If clothes are the thing, you guys are doomed.
Go get a divorce attorney right now. Why waste the
memories of these years that you're having with each other.
I think it's stupid, but I'm gonna move this next
one because this is a good call.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Tiffany.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
There, Tiffany, hif I was telling oh, go ahead, tell
your story.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
This is wild. I just saw it up on this
call screen here.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
So I had me replacement surgery and it didn't take
well and there was a possibility of my leg being amputated,
and me and my husband had to have that discussion
if he would still find me attractive or if you
wanted to.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Be with me. What did he say?
Speaker 7 (13:23):
He told me that he would be with me no
matter what and that we would just get through it.
But it really made you that that I might have
to lose him, and that was a big discussion. Wow A.
Oh yeah, she loved you, by the way. Every morning
she said, I want to listen to Mojo in the morning.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Tiffany. I, that's a tough situation. Please tell me that
you didn't lose your leg.
Speaker 7 (13:53):
No I didn't. I Uh, they were able to save it.
But it's it's still a long road of recovery, but
I was able to keep it.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
That is wild.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Okay, once you're past this, then does that change your
perception of your husband, knowing that you've had these conversations.
Speaker 7 (14:11):
Yeah, but that means there's still word in my mind
because I'll find myself attractive because how bad everything looks.
But he reassures me all the time, and he tells
me that he loves me and he will always love me.
So I'm very thankful for that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Listen, Listen, I say this to you. One of the
things that hurts me in my relationship is my wife.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Always.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
My wife always is, you know, worried about how she
looks and all this stuff, and she looks amazing, and
I keep trying to explain to her maybe and maybe
it's it's that I love you, I would love you.
I wish that you would stop worrying about you know,
how you look and all this other stuff. And she
says to me, it's not about how I think you
think I look, it's how I feel like that.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Yes, yeah, because that affects how she shows up in
every area of her life, including in her marriage to you.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
And I think for your case, Tiffany, you have to
understand this is about you and how you would feel.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
If God forbid, you would have lost your legs Joe.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
But I yeah, when you're gone on Friday, I'm not
going to have anybody to pat me on the back anymore.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I love this. I love this version of you, this version.
I've been here all alive. But I like the vocal
restoring of the women.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Thanks for having Mojos back there, Megan, you are the best.
This is Mojo in the morning.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
All right, Well listen, Tiffany, you're not losing your legs,
so your legs are attached.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You're gonna be.
Speaker 7 (15:35):
Fine, right, yeah, yeah, after that happened to I broke
my back and my neck.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Oh Christ, he was still there for me. What you're
doing now? That please? The motorcycle. That's an interesting thing.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
My sister is with her husband, my brother in law,
Scott has uh. He has early on set all Ceimer's
and he's not the man that he was. Matter of fact,
he's not doesn't even act like a man anymore. He
acts like he's a little boy. And it frustrates the
hell out of her that this is going on. But
I see how she cares for him. That is when
(16:15):
you know you have your person, when you go through
something like what they're going through, or your situation where
you almost, you know, break your back. That's when you
realize that you're with that person. It's not about the looks,
it's not about the sacks, it's not about any of
that stuff. It's about the person that you know is
going to be there for you, and that's gonna that's
going to be you know, the person that is your person.
Speaker 7 (16:38):
You know.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So, Tiffany, I would say this to you.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Your husband would love you legless and armless. And Kevin's
going in the penalty box. We got to have a
penalty box there right now. Alright, We'll talk to you later, Tiffany,
It's Mojo in the Morning. What if you are with
(00:04):
someone that you are not attracted to? Kevin, Yeah, with
a discussion right now here on the Mojo in the Morning.
Speaker 2 (00:11):
I would love to know. First, let me ask you
all the question.
Speaker 3 (00:12):
Have you ever been with someone that they were Okay,
they weren't ugly, right, but they weren't attractive to you?
Or they weren't attracted What I'm trying to say, they
weren't attractive to you? Yeah, like you didn't find them attractive,
but you found their personality attractive. You like who they were,
what they did, what they were about, but the looks
just weren't up to the standard that you know you
typically have. Is that somebody that you've been with or
(00:35):
could you see yourself doing that?
Speaker 2 (00:36):
Honestly?
Speaker 4 (00:36):
And I don't know what this says about me, but no,
because that's such a huge part of the equation. To me,
they weren't to be attracted to this to the person
that I'm dating.
Speaker 1 (00:46):
I had sex once when I was like nineteen or
twenty years old with a girl that was not great looking.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
But why did you have sex with her? Because of
it was that it was an option.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
It was like it was available, and I had sexual
I had sex with her, and I will say this
to you, she became more attractive the more that we
had hung out with each other.
Speaker 2 (01:05):
Just what to say.
Speaker 5 (01:05):
I've never dated anybody like repulsive or anybody that I
was like not attracted to. But I do value characteristics
that are not physical more than the physical ones. So like,
if you're funny, you're way hotter than.
Speaker 4 (01:18):
Me, but there's still that attractiveness peace, you're not repulsive.
Speaker 2 (01:22):
I'm not like, oh, you're gross.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
I look at my old pictures of when Chelsea and
I first got together, and I don't understand what the
hell she saw in me. I think it had to
be my personality or just my kindness of who I was,
because I look at pictures sometimes and she's like so
cute and stuff, and I'm like a freaking you know,
I look like a model for Men's warehouse plus what I.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Mean, yeah, or the x xal that story is.
Speaker 3 (01:50):
So this came up yesterday because there's a couple that
have been married for about a year or so and
the guy in the relationship has never really been aggressive
and in terms of trying to have sex with his wife,
but she thought it would change for some reason when
they got married, and it hasn't changed yet, and it's
starting to become a heavy discussion in their relationship where
(02:11):
she's not as happy as she would be if that
was something that was a priority. And I started asking
all of these questions like was is he sleeping with
somebody else?
Speaker 2 (02:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
And all of that was no, no, No, they seem fine,
they seem good, they seem like they love each other.
He's in love with her, and I'm like, well, maybe
it's just one of those things where he's never really
been attracted to her. Because full transparency, I've been in
relationships like that where I loved who the person was,
even though I wasn't as attracted to them that I
was to other women physically physically, but I enjoyed who
(02:43):
they were, what they represented, and that's what I wanted
to fall in love with. But it always came up
sometimes where you'd just be like, You'll look at it
and be like, oh, you know what I mean, just
the reality, and I feel like that's why they're not
having sex like.
Speaker 1 (02:56):
That, huh, I hear's the thing. I think that that's
very honest of them to say, to talk about that
but I also have seen people over time where they
their looks kind of change.
Speaker 4 (03:10):
That's what I was going to say, that would that
unfortunately makes sense to me, But after being married for
only a year, that's.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Have you ever done that game at all with either
your husband or with any other past relationships where you say,
if I had an accident and my face got you know,
melted off, would you still love me?
Speaker 2 (03:35):
Like? Have you ever got that game? Before we play
this game?
Speaker 4 (03:37):
I'm very honest with this game, and he cannot believe
how honestly well I am that I'm not going to
play the game in lie, what do you say? I
like one of the quite like one question that he
got upset with, if I'm remembering correctly, is and Wes,
if you're listening to Colin because I don't want to
(03:58):
have the narrative here, but I think he asked me
if something happened to him and he passed away, would
I get married for a third time? And I was like, yeah,
and I don't know why that like really like.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
What I was talking about was if Wes said, Hey,
if I lost my legs, would is still like you
hum with me?
Speaker 2 (04:20):
Or whatever?
Speaker 4 (04:21):
You know, No, we don't or we'll do the one if.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
But it's not that if Wes lost his hair. He's
got great hair. He does have great hair, He's got
he's got a lot of other great things on that body.
Speaker 5 (04:36):
This is so weird to me because in every relationship,
the end goal is to make it till dust us
part right, which is hopefully very late in life.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (04:45):
Have you ever looked at a seven year old and
we're like, oh my god, you're banging hot?
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Apart from like Helen Mirren, what's you know what I mean? Like, honestly,
I find man so much literally on.
Speaker 5 (04:56):
This one, because I'm not talking about like George Clooney
and is part. I'm talking about Gary who literally for
sixty years and he's got dolls but hang down to
his knees.
Speaker 6 (05:10):
Are you going to tell me that?
Speaker 5 (05:11):
Like, I don't know if you happy in your marriage
because I don't want to jump your bones because your
bones are about to be in a box under ground
any minute, now, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2 (05:20):
I think it's.
Speaker 3 (05:20):
Different though, when you're in a relationship and you grow
and you love that person, I see them differently than
if you were just a leitary.
Speaker 4 (05:27):
Question boggles my mind because they just got married, right,
So if he if he was never attracted physically attracted
to her and they're not having sex a year into
their marriage, there's a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (05:41):
There's something going on. What's up? G your voice disguise,
what's going on?
Speaker 6 (05:46):
Good morning. I've been with my husband for quite a
long time. It's I'm I'm not physically attracted to him anymore.
It's not that I wasn't in the past. It's wait,
has a lot to do with it. We both have
gained weight.
Speaker 4 (06:03):
You know, it happens.
Speaker 7 (06:04):
Life happens.
Speaker 6 (06:05):
Yeah, but it's just at this time in my life,
I just don't know. And wow, so wait, so we
still we still have a sex life, for sure.
Speaker 1 (06:15):
But it's not as we make it crazy fun. No,
And it's because he's gained weight. We both have, okay,
but you look at him differently though you're not.
Speaker 2 (06:26):
He doesn't. He doesn't get you excited, not as.
Speaker 6 (06:30):
Much as you used to. As God, And that is
to say I don't not love the man. I love
the mansion my soul. But yeah, it's just the physicality
of it.
Speaker 2 (06:39):
Honestly.
Speaker 3 (06:40):
How big of a deal is this and has this
been in a relationship it's been.
Speaker 6 (06:45):
On and off over the past years that we've been together.
Just be an issue.
Speaker 3 (06:49):
Yeah, well, I mean the level of love that you
have for him, like with him gaining weight change.
Speaker 6 (06:55):
You just don't find I love him till the day
I die, but.
Speaker 1 (06:59):
You find other men much more attractive because they look differently.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Yeah. Do you think you'd ever cheat?
Speaker 6 (07:09):
No?
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Okay, Well, that's that's good to say. I mean seriously,
because I do think that it is interesting over time.
You know, there are those that let themselves go, but
also there are those that that they can't control it.
I have a friend of mine who got alopecia and
she lost all of her hair, and one of the
most beautiful things that I have ever heard is the men,
(07:33):
the man that's in her life say I love you
whether you have hair or don't have it, and looks
at her the same way. You can't control something like
alopecia losing all your hair. Voices, Guys, Jay.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
What's up? Jay?
Speaker 6 (07:45):
Hey, how's it going good?
Speaker 2 (07:47):
What's going on? You're being voices? Guys? Do you want
to comment on this?
Speaker 7 (07:51):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (07:51):
So if you get into I got into a relationship
with somebody that was not very attractive because they gave
a false narrative. And now that that we're so deep
into the relationship and this person showed its true colors,
It's like waking up next to a different person. I
see that he's unattractive because of all of his bad traits,
(08:14):
and now I see it, Like it's like, does that
make sense? Like it's a different person. Now he doesn't
look the same.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Yes, he's changed because of the narrative has changed.
Speaker 6 (08:25):
Yeah, like everything was supposed to be so good, like, oh,
all his friends pushed it, like why won't you give
him a chance? And then I gave him a chance?
Speaker 2 (08:33):
And now are you later?
Speaker 6 (08:35):
It's gone nothing but downhill?
Speaker 2 (08:38):
You're married?
Speaker 6 (08:38):
Dan, No, we've just we're just dating.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
Are you gonna leave him?
Speaker 6 (08:47):
Right now? We are talking about how unhappy I am.
Speaker 1 (08:52):
Wow, Well, here's the thing that is I think way
different than looks. I mean, I'm sure he's become unattracted.
I think that. I think looks is one thing. But
I think if a person's character and what they're all about,
you can.
Speaker 4 (09:07):
If their whole life that they've told you is a lie,
you have every right to get out of that relationship,
especially if you're not married.
Speaker 2 (09:13):
Christian, what's going on? Spoke Joe in the morning.
Speaker 8 (09:16):
Hey, how are you guys?
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Good?
Speaker 8 (09:18):
So me and my wife have had a discussion about
it that if it ever comes to a point where
we are unattractive to each other, we would just have
an open relationship.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
Would you guys have to agree upon it?
Speaker 8 (09:32):
Yeah, so we both have agreed that. You know, she
would allow only that she doesn't feel as comfortable doing
it herself, but she would allow me.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
So you're already thinking about this, or you guys wouldn't
have brought it up.
Speaker 8 (09:48):
Yeah, so we've thought about it just in case. Like
you know, we don't want it to be at a
cheating point where it's behind each other's back. You know,
we kind of want to have a full transparency with
you know, if whatever it does come to it later on,
then we rather because we love each other to death.
But if the attractiveness goes.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Away, then I'll be honest with you, I would be
shocked if she or you, whoever brought it up to
each other, would be okay with it. It's one thing
to talk about it hypothetically. It's another thing to act
upon it and just see what that does to a
person's ego and how they feel about themselves.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
How long have y'all been together.
Speaker 8 (10:27):
We've been together for a long time. We've been married
for eight years.
Speaker 2 (10:33):
And when did you stop finding her attractive? No, he
still finds her attractive.
Speaker 8 (10:37):
Message, So I still find her attractive. I think there's
just things that become some things that you know, she
can do that become unattractive.
Speaker 2 (10:45):
But like what, I don't know.
Speaker 8 (10:51):
It can be. It can be sometimes in you know,
the way she acts or the way she addresses that
I'm like, I don't I don't find that attractive, you
know what.
Speaker 2 (11:02):
I mean, Like like she's dressing.
Speaker 3 (11:05):
Uh.
Speaker 8 (11:05):
Sometimes it's like the way she's dressing, not as in
like too appealing or like over the top that she's
showing off. It's just like you know, you know she
can dress maybe a little bit better than that, or
like if we go out, so I'm like, oh wow,
compared to you know, the way she's dressed or something.
Speaker 4 (11:22):
Then another way, do you talk about that with her
that that like bugs you a little bit?
Speaker 8 (11:28):
Because I wonder, Yeah, we have, we have talked a
lot about like we're very open with how we feel.
You know, she has told me sometimes it was like, oh,
the way you dress, I don't like it. You know,
it's very unattractive. So I mean we've we like to
keep it, you know, very open with each other. So
but I mean it has become a discussion later on
(11:51):
in life, if it ever happens.
Speaker 5 (11:52):
Then what her response to you not liking the way
she dresses.
Speaker 8 (11:59):
I mean, it's kind of just like you know, oh well,
and I mean my response is kind of the same.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
So it's interesting.
Speaker 1 (12:09):
Though you can change the clothes, you can't change the person.
You obviously aren't looking at the person then, and maybe
this is maybe one of the reasons she's dressing in
that way is you're not giving her the confident feeling
that she's can do anything, like I think you've got
to be able to, you know, let her feel like
she can do nothing wrong in your eyes. She now
(12:31):
thinks that she can because you're already looking towards somebody else.
Speaker 2 (12:35):
That was pretty damn good, you can.
Speaker 7 (12:39):
Tell you.
Speaker 1 (12:41):
Honestly, that's speaking from the heart though. That's that's it's
the truth. If clothes are the thing, you guys are doomed.
Go get a divorce attorney right now. Why waste the
memories of these years that you're having with each other.
I think it's stupid, but I'm gonna move this next
one because this is a good call.
Speaker 2 (12:57):
Tiffany.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
There, Tiffany, hif I was telling oh, go ahead, tell
your story.
Speaker 2 (13:04):
This is wild. I just saw it up on this
call screen here.
Speaker 7 (13:07):
So I had me replacement surgery and it didn't take
well and there was a possibility of my leg being amputated,
and me and my husband had to have that discussion
if he would still find me attractive or if you
wanted to.
Speaker 2 (13:19):
Be with me. What did he say?
Speaker 7 (13:23):
He told me that he would be with me no
matter what and that we would just get through it.
But it really made you that that I might have
to lose him, and that was a big discussion. Wow A.
Oh yeah, she loved you, by the way. Every morning
she said, I want to listen to Mojo in the morning.
Speaker 1 (13:47):
Tiffany. I, that's a tough situation. Please tell me that
you didn't lose your leg.
Speaker 7 (13:53):
No I didn't. I Uh, they were able to save it.
But it's it's still a long road of recovery, but
I was able to keep it.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
That is wild.
Speaker 5 (14:03):
Okay, once you're past this, then does that change your
perception of your husband, knowing that you've had these conversations.
Speaker 7 (14:11):
Yeah, but that means there's still word in my mind
because I'll find myself attractive because how bad everything looks.
But he reassures me all the time, and he tells
me that he loves me and he will always love me.
So I'm very thankful for that.
Speaker 1 (14:25):
Listen, Listen, I say this to you. One of the
things that hurts me in my relationship is my wife.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
Always.
Speaker 1 (14:32):
My wife always is, you know, worried about how she
looks and all this stuff, and she looks amazing, and
I keep trying to explain to her maybe and maybe
it's it's that I love you, I would love you.
I wish that you would stop worrying about you know,
how you look and all this other stuff. And she
says to me, it's not about how I think you
think I look, it's how I feel like that.
Speaker 4 (14:52):
Yes, yeah, because that affects how she shows up in
every area of her life, including in her marriage to you.
Speaker 1 (14:58):
And I think for your case, Tiffany, you have to
understand this is about you and how you would feel.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
If God forbid, you would have lost your legs Joe.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
But I yeah, when you're gone on Friday, I'm not
going to have anybody to pat me on the back anymore.
Speaker 6 (15:13):
I don't know.
Speaker 2 (15:13):
I love this. I love this version of you, this version.
I've been here all alive. But I like the vocal
restoring of the women.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
I'm here for it.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Thanks for having Mojos back there, Megan, you are the best.
This is Mojo in the morning.
Speaker 1 (15:29):
All right, Well listen, Tiffany, you're not losing your legs,
so your legs are attached.
Speaker 2 (15:34):
You're gonna be.
Speaker 7 (15:35):
Fine, right, yeah, yeah, after that happened to I broke
my back and my neck.
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Oh Christ, he was still there for me. What you're
doing now? That please? The motorcycle. That's an interesting thing.
Speaker 7 (15:52):
You know.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
My sister is with her husband, my brother in law,
Scott has uh. He has early on set all Ceimer's
and he's not the man that he was. Matter of fact,
he's not doesn't even act like a man anymore. He
acts like he's a little boy. And it frustrates the
hell out of her that this is going on. But
I see how she cares for him. That is when
(16:15):
you know you have your person, when you go through
something like what they're going through, or your situation where
you almost, you know, break your back. That's when you
realize that you're with that person. It's not about the looks,
it's not about the sacks, it's not about any of
that stuff. It's about the person that you know is
going to be there for you, and that's gonna that's
going to be you know, the person that is your person.
Speaker 7 (16:38):
You know.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So, Tiffany, I would say this to you.
Speaker 1 (16:41):
Your husband would love you legless and armless. And Kevin's
going in the penalty box. We got to have a
penalty box there right now. Alright, We'll talk to you later, Tiffany,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!