Constructive Criticism

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
All right, it is Mojo in the morning.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
Uh.

Speaker 1 (00:02):
Kev's son, Josiah is in seventh grade. All right, after
we talk about hoes and I know it's Kev's son.

Speaker 3 (00:12):
Josiah is in seventh grade, and he is one of
the most talented kids that I have ever seen. And he,
as well as all of those kids at his school,
did a fabulous job last night. They kept me awake
watching the Disney Descendants play that they had, their musical
that they had yesterday at school. Yeah, so they did
a great job.

Speaker 4 (00:31):
This is Josiah's first time, if you can believe it,
ever being in a play or ever doing anything theater related.

Speaker 1 (00:37):
He's more of a draw animator.

Speaker 4 (00:39):
He makes works of arts with his hands, and even
though he likes doing voiceovers, he's never auditioned or did
a play. So he's been really excited and really focused.
They're really looking forward to this moment. So again, appreciate
you and Chelse for pulling out. So once the play
has concluded, after all two hours of it, they get

(01:00):
done all.

Speaker 1 (01:00):
The can I stop you? Bro?

Speaker 3 (01:04):
So Kevin texts Chelsea and I and he goes, you,
guys know this thing is going to be two hours
he tags because he's sitting in like the front rows
with all the parents are and we're kind of in
the back, and he goes, feel free to scoot if
you want to. I said, this spit two hours. You
all won't, so I'm not gonna lie to you. I

(01:27):
was willing to stay the whole time. Miss Chelsea was
Chelsea was like Chelsea was like two hours. Which, by
the way, it is weird to go and watch and
you know one kid, like I know. Usually that's what
happens to you when you go see your kid and stuffing,
but you at least know the other kids. So I'm
sitting there the whole time and the entire time I'm
watching this thing going just sigh.

Speaker 1 (01:47):
Is better than that kid? You better than this kid?
Like I was judging these other kids, I have no
idea who they are. A big role. I would say,
he's not the main actor.

Speaker 5 (01:58):
He's done, he's supporting.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Yeah, he looks good though he's good. At first I
was growing up. Man, the kid does not look the same.
In a year time, he went from being this little
like I felt like the little kid who is just
like so cute and innocent, to now he's like a
grown ass man.

Speaker 1 (02:16):
It's crazy. How did he do? I thought he did well? Yeah,
though he did well.

Speaker 4 (02:19):
I mean it's his first time. And then you know
your child, so you know their tendencies. You can see
them like, Okay, Joe's a little bit nervous, or he's
not confident in this particular dance move, so you know
that type of stuff. But he delivered all his lines well.
I thought the inflection was great. But when he came
off the stage, that was his question. Immediately he asked
his mom. He was like, how did I do? And

(02:42):
his mom said, oh my god, you did a great job.
And Joe's like, no, give me the bad And then
that's when I step in because I have what I'm saying,
I have critiques. You want to know what you did wrong,
I'm gonna tell you. So I started, and he didn't
do a lot of things incorrect. But one of the
things that I paid attention to. And if you're a
theater person, they call it blocking. It's your staging where

(03:04):
you are on the stage, and like one of the
golden rules is never turn your back to the audience.

Speaker 1 (03:08):
Cheat out, cheat out, cheat out, give.

Speaker 4 (03:10):
Yourself at a little stand so you can like halfway,
look at your character you're referring to at the time,
and then the audience can see your physiology and all
the things. Now, this particular scene, I don't know how
he actually could have cheated out, but his whole back
was to us, and that was gonna be my critique.
But as I'm critiquing him, I start to see his
posture kind of start to slump, and I could kind

(03:32):
of see me giving him a critique is kind of
being met with sadness almost like he's not like engaged,
like okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, he's kind of taking it
to heart. And in that moment, I quickly pivot and
I'm like, man, but you did so then I went
to the things you did great. I'm like, man, when
you deliver this one line, it was incredible, Like how
excited you got The crowd was laughing, Like I tried

(03:53):
to pivot, and I'm like, man, like how do parents
give their children critiques? And then also like, how do
those critique change your child? Because I know for a
fact like sometimes parents could be so involved that it
can strip your child of enjoying the activity and they
never want to do it again.

Speaker 5 (04:09):
Yeah, you suck the spirit right out of them.

Speaker 3 (04:11):
By the way, he was tom Izzo man, he was
yelling at him in the loft. Can I tell you
a piece of advice from coaching that I got from
Tim McCormick, tim NBA player, great guy. Tim McCormick told
me that after the event that you go to like
so after the game, he said, never talked about the

(04:31):
game or talk about the event afterwards. And I know
Josiah asked you for advice, he said, he would say,
don't even if you have a critique or criticism, don't
talk about it right after the game, because after the
game is the last time in the world that they
should know about what they did and did wrong. The
next day you when you're doing it, and only because
what happens is they just got done with this high

(04:53):
of playing the game or low if they lost. And
he would say that the comment that you're going to
make to them is only going to make them feel worse,
not better.

Speaker 1 (05:02):
So he would always say so.

Speaker 3 (05:03):
He would always turn music onto the car and crank
up music and laugh and oh my god, what's going on?
You know, And he wouldn't even talk about the game.
But with a play it might be different.

Speaker 1 (05:12):
I don't know. I thought Josiah did great.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Can I tell you what I was most impressed with
with Joe because they had their sound system was bad.
They had a broken sound system, which I felt bad
for the whoever the teacher was that puts the play
on because he had to come out and explain. He
said that whole thing, which, by the way, I ain't
a cheap school. That sound system. Somebody needs to donate
a better sound system. That tell Mitt Romney to donate

(05:38):
some more money. That's cool. So, long story short. Josiah
inflected when his mic wasn't working so I could hear
him in the back like he did a good job.
He knew that his mic maybe wasn't the best, and
I thought I could hear him. He's got a lot
of his dad in him and that so I thought
that was pretty That was pretty cool.

Speaker 1 (05:56):
Yeah, but I just I don't know. So they have
two more today.

Speaker 4 (06:01):
They're doing a one pm show, which was always like
my favorite when you do the play for the students
like you do it for your school. Yeah, that's always
the name. He's got one later today at seven. Are
you going to all three shows?

Speaker 6 (06:10):
Hell?

Speaker 4 (06:10):
No, I don't even think I'm allowed to go to
the one at one, but I'll be back at the
one tonight, so you're going to both those shows.

Speaker 1 (06:16):
The show quick question.

Speaker 3 (06:17):
I got to ask you with this with him doing
theater and stuff as a guy, because I had one
theater kid, so I had Actually Luke was a choir kid.

Speaker 1 (06:28):
Though this was that was pretty interesting. I'm thinking about that.

Speaker 5 (06:30):
It wasn't in that special guy Boys Girl.

Speaker 3 (06:31):
He was in uh yeah, oh god, the uh the
no is Notre Dame Prep. They called it The Irishman. Yeah, yeah,
they were The Irishman. As a dad, do you do
you want and I know he's not a sports kid
and stuff like that. He's taken after you though, as
being a theatrical and stuff.

Speaker 1 (06:49):
Do you do you like that you.

Speaker 5 (06:51):
Say boys in theaters? Nerdy?

Speaker 3 (06:53):
No, I'm just saying that. I'll be honest with you.
I was kind of bummed that Jacob didn't want.

Speaker 1 (06:57):
To do sports.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
He's like, as a dad, how do you feel because
I think there's a lot of times where dad's you know,
with boys, you want your kid to be a sports
kid man.

Speaker 4 (07:05):
So I mean originally, of course, like my favorite sport
is basketball. Would I like to I always envision myself
being on March Madness when they show to college parents
and they're wearing their team shirts.

Speaker 1 (07:16):
Or Tim Hardaway, Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 4 (07:18):
But early you want to put Josia in baseball and
like T ball, and he was really good. Josiah is
incredibly athletic. He's like faster than most kids and have
always been. And he was performing really well, but he
wasn't really in it. And then I told his mom
to take him to like some Halloween thing and she
was in the car.

Speaker 1 (07:35):
He was crying.

Speaker 4 (07:35):
She was like, he won't get out the car, and
I'm like, Josiah, I need you get out the car.
He was like, you didn't ask me if I wanted
to go the same way. You didn't ask me if
I wanted to play baseball. And I was like, Okay,
from now on, I'm just going to support where you're
at it, not trying to make.

Speaker 1 (07:48):
You do what I want to do.

Speaker 7 (07:49):
Have I literally had the same discussion with Smith in
the car yesterday because every day when I pick him
up from school, he's.

Speaker 5 (07:55):
Like, do you to go to swim today?

Speaker 7 (07:57):
And he like has a meltdown when I tell him, yeah,
today's day and he's like.

Speaker 5 (08:02):
You and Dad didn't even ask me.

Speaker 1 (08:05):
If I wanted to do it. That's such a thing.
It's funny.

Speaker 3 (08:09):
It hit me and it hurt me when Jacob at
first because he was our best athlete in the family,
when because he was such a good soccer player. But
then I started seeing what happens in his life now
and to look back on it, going, God, I was
so petty with Yeah.

Speaker 1 (08:23):
I wanted it for me, not for him. What's up, Austin,
how you doing?

Speaker 8 (08:28):
Hey?

Speaker 2 (08:28):
Good morning you lovely people.

Speaker 1 (08:30):
What's up?

Speaker 2 (08:32):
Hey?

Speaker 6 (08:33):
So keV you were talking about, like, how do you
give criticism?

Speaker 2 (08:38):
One of the things that I've learned through just like
my work and social work and everything, is you have
to give the compliment sandwich.

Speaker 1 (08:44):
You basically like you start with, hey, this is something
you did really well, and then you give that.

Speaker 9 (08:49):
Criticism of like hey, like maybe we could work on this,
and then you finish.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
It up with another compliment and then just encourage them
to keep practicing.

Speaker 1 (08:57):
Yeah, okay, compliments that before.

Speaker 7 (09:01):
But even as an adult and somebody compliment sandwich is me,
all I can focus on is the middle.

Speaker 8 (09:07):
Yeah, And then I wonder if the other compliments were
like sincere or they just in there.

Speaker 1 (09:12):
Yeah, they didn't just want to say the best stuff. Hey, Riley,
what's happening?

Speaker 9 (09:17):
Good morning?

Speaker 6 (09:18):
Hi?

Speaker 9 (09:18):
How are you guys doing?

Speaker 1 (09:19):
We're good? What's going on?

Speaker 10 (09:22):
Uh?

Speaker 2 (09:22):
Yeah?

Speaker 10 (09:22):
So I just wanted to comment.

Speaker 9 (09:24):
One thing that I personally heard and like I feel
like I try and pass on, is that you know,
when your kid asks you how they did, you ask
them how they sorry, you asked them how they think
they did, And then you know, you can feed off
that because you end up teaching them inner acceptance opposed to,

(09:46):
you know, the outer acceptance from other people.

Speaker 1 (09:50):
What do you do in a situation where your child
just like I did?

Speaker 10 (09:53):
Okay, I think that's I think that's okay to accept
So I think it's good to, you know, judge yourself
somewhat and say, okay, well.

Speaker 9 (10:05):
Like, what can we do better from that situation? And
teach them you know, there's always room for improvement. It's
only a failure if you don't learn from what you fail.

Speaker 1 (10:15):
That gotcha, Riley, what's your background with this? You have kids?
Are you a teacher? What are you? I?

Speaker 6 (10:23):
You have a kid, but he's very young, he's only
he's about the eighteen months. But I do have a
lot of nieces and nephews so and very close to them,
So I definitely try and learn as much as I
can and pass that on because I know I feel
like we all try to get that outer acceptance and
that's not what do.

Speaker 3 (10:42):
You look at your eighteen month old and say you
are the greatest drooler I have ever seen it?

Speaker 6 (10:49):
Oh?

Speaker 9 (10:49):
Yes, I do praise him. I mean he's crazy, wicked, smart.

Speaker 6 (10:54):
I'm a little scared, but but I do think that
eventually something I really hope I stick with. And I
mean it's hard because I think our initial reaction is
always like you did such a good job, you know,
But I think it's an important tool to teach your kids.

Speaker 3 (11:11):
Yeah, And I do think though it's actually good to
hear to tell the kids, you know what, I've seen
you guys play better, but that's okay, you know what
I mean, you got it next time, because I think
kids honestly do call bs sometimes.

Speaker 7 (11:22):
I always hear Wes, who is a track coach, ask kids,
do you feel like you had more?

Speaker 5 (11:27):
You had more left in the tank.

Speaker 7 (11:29):
Yeah, when they reach the finish line, And I feel
like that's a good question. Because it forces them to
reflect on what they were capable of versus how they did.

Speaker 3 (11:37):
You know, I always hated when my kids would come
back and they would they would bitch and moan and
complain about the other kids that were playing there, because
I always felt like it wasn't being a team player.
So I was there and go I would like defend
these other kids, and they would get so mad at me,
be like, you know what, don't worry about them, worry
about you and how you did.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
What's up? Justin how you doing there?

Speaker 2 (11:59):
You areds te kind of like the first color dude.
I know sentence that she hates the compliment sandwich, But
I usually try to I'm a first off, I'm a
gym teacher, so I do with this a lot. I
make them play competitively, and I get I get them
a good feedback first, and then try to sprinkle in

(12:21):
a negative feedback with let's work on this, let's work
on that.

Speaker 3 (12:27):
Yeah, yeah like that, Let's work on yeah like that. Hey,
as a gym teacher, do you pick on the fat
kids like my gym teachers used to do with me
all the time?

Speaker 1 (12:35):
I do not, mo Joe, do you make.

Speaker 3 (12:38):
Kids climb ropes, like I used to have to climb ropes,
and as a big kid in school, I can never climb.

Speaker 2 (12:42):
The rope have a rope. But I know these kids,
some of them are going to make it to the top,
and I'm worried about one of them falling rock hard
gym floor.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
Yeah, I remember we used to climb.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
We did.

Speaker 3 (12:55):
We did stuff that I guarantee you nowadays they don't
do in school anymore. In gym class like, I'm like,
we used to actually wash our gym teacher's cards.

Speaker 1 (13:06):
Yeah, it would make us wash his car. It was crazy.
Can I give a critique of the play from last night, Well,
you got to start with a compliment, you know, give
me the sandwich.

Speaker 3 (13:16):
I'll give you a compliment that, uh, the temperature was
nice inside the theater. Here's my complaint. They did not
have any refreshments for me to I wanted to. I
wanted like, uh, popcorn and candy and stuff like that.
And they could be selling it for a fundraiser or something.
I said to Chelsea. We were hungry going in, and
I said to I, go, I guarantee you a school

(13:36):
like this has to have like a refreshment stand or something.

Speaker 1 (13:38):
I walked around that place.

Speaker 3 (13:40):
I was looking all over, like where the hell of
the refreshments across the hall.

Speaker 1 (13:43):
They had some type of cod cod. They have some
trouble cookies.

Speaker 4 (13:47):
They had a bunch of stuff I saw, but that
looked like a private party. I didn't know because some
people I knew when in there for tends all you
can eat.

Speaker 3 (13:55):
They had all tell me a fish fry going on
or something. Huh, All right, Josiah was awesome. Tell Josiah,
by the way, can I play?

Speaker 1 (14:03):
Can I play? Okay? This was This is actually pretty funny.
Hold on a second, let me see if I can
play this for you guys.

Speaker 3 (14:10):
Josiah left us a voicemail message, uh for for Chelsea.

Speaker 1 (14:15):
And I just like his dad does.

Speaker 3 (14:18):
Really seriously honestly spitting of him. Okay, so here you go,
hold on.

Speaker 8 (14:26):
Some Mojoe Joe and I just made him.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
On the spot.

Speaker 8 (14:33):
It's just how cool I am. But today today was
my play day. I'm pretty sure you was were there, right, Dack.
I'm really happy that you guys were able to come,
and I'm just really thanks thank you guys for being
for taking the time out of your day to come
and uh lo y'all.

Speaker 1 (14:52):
Oh, my god, kid, it's amazing. That's such a cute kid.
I appreciate God. He takes after his mother.

Speaker 3 (15:02):
By the way, Jasmine looks like she's like fourteen years old.

Speaker 1 (15:06):
She's so young, big ass. She's all right.