October 22, 2025 • 11 mins
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's mojo in the morning. So I kind of embarrassed
doing this. But I don't know if there are any
people that ever do this. But I got busted not
going home yesterday, got the text saying, Hey, when are
you coming home? And I text Chelsea back, I go,
I'm going to leave here in about like thirty or
(00:20):
forty minutes, and She's like, okay, no problem. And then
I ended up doing something that I do every now
and again, and that is stop off at the strip
club and have myself at a stake.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I don't ever know, although yesterday we were talking about
strip clubs and stuff like that, and it made me
think to myself, who are the guys that just go
to strip clubs randomly during the day, Like they go
and they say they're eating and stuff. But my strip
club is different. My strip club is the mall. I
like to go to the mall sometimes, and I like
to go like middle of the day on my way
(00:55):
home from work. I like to get myself a little
food out of the food court car usually well usually
I go to the Twelve Oaks Mall. So I'll go
Taco Bell and I'll just get like myself and I know,
it sounds weird to just say, cause why would you
go to Taco Bell? But everything else kind of has
gluten in it. You know. Back in the day, I
(01:15):
used to go to that you know, orange chicken on
a stick, give me the stap to get Taco Bell.
I know, but I but I go shopping too. I
go to the Apple Store and stuff like that. Yeah,
park my car up there right at the the you
know area where the Apple Store is, and do a
little walking around the mall, see the people over, you know,
(01:36):
Missus Fields or the cooks Hot Topic, hang out and
say hi to my friends at Hot Topic. So Chelsea goes,
you're not on your way home. She notices because you
got to find my on there. And I used to
get busted all the time, even before find my was
on there where you could track and see where you're going.
(01:57):
I'd get busted by the smell. So I'd come home home,
and back in the day, we used to be closer
to work, you know, like it was twelve minutes or something,
and I would go through the drive through of McDonald's,
or go through the drive through sometimes at you know, Chipotle,
and I would eat really quick and then I would
stop off at the shell station, which is right there
by my house, and I'd dump the garbage in there,
(02:18):
and then I'd come home and I'd give Chelsea a
hug to say, hey, honey, had a great day to go.
You smell like fris Do you do that? I want
to know if there are any listeners that do this.
I want to know if you are the type of
listener that you sneak after work and go somewhere. And
where do you sneak to? Because there are other places.
(02:39):
It doesn't have to be food. Alta might be one
of those places.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You know, you would never find me lying about going
to TJ Max.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Or Homegol whenever.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Whenever I tell Wes I'm running errands, he thinks it's
legit and now he knows it's It's Goods and TJ Max,
I mean legit.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
If I if she knew you were no, if I
said to her, I'm going to the mall, she would say,
what do you need now? Like would be one of
those things, but she would not No, she wouldn't care.
But it was one of those things where I can
I tell you what I was shamed about. I was
shamed about because I got on the scale and I
gained like five or six pounds, and I was shaming,
and I told her, I said, I'm gonna start watching
what I eat during the day, and I'm gonna make
sure I just foku it because I'm you know, I've
(03:20):
been really good. I've been losing weight and stuff. And
then I realized, but I didn't want all of a
sudden the day after I said I'm gonna watch what
I eat, saying I'm going to the food court at
the mall. Is it ever a.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Situation where you know she might not like it, so
you bring her something back?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
If I do the drive through on the way home,
what I'll do is I'll say I have a craving
and she'll go, what do you have a craving for?
And I'll tell her and she goes. I do too,
like like jumping on it because I feel like this
so often is the blow? Yeah, oh you got to
bring something home? Yeah, but there's just so fun. Yeah.
Fat I honestly admission here, fat I admission sometimes I
(03:55):
would like to go eat before I eat, because then
I eat less when I'm at home and makes me
look like I'm being good. So sometimes I actually no, no,
sometimes I'll go Chipotle three hard tacos. They do that,
they give you the three They have a three taco
pack and I get three hard tacos. I'll eat those
as kind of an appetizer start your day. Yeah, and
(04:17):
I'll eat those and then I'll go home. You know,
if it's a late day, like five o'clock, well, you're
gonna sit down and eat dinner, and then I'll be like,
you know, I don't think I'm gonna have the potatoes
tonight to stay.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
And they all look at me like what, and Chelsea
in her heads like.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah. I used to throw the garbage away in my
garbage cans. So we have garbage cans up by our house.
And the problem was then at the end of dinner,
when you're cleaning up, you have to be the one
to take the garbage out so that you don't see
the on top McDonald's best.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Everybody in my house, by the way, when I take
out the garbage, I'm like, oh, healthy, West was a culver.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
The evidence is in the garbe and it's tough because
you're throwing away a or this happens to me, you're
throwing away like the bag from McDonald's and then the
garbage guys shout out priority waste. Ninety nine point nine
percent of the time, you guys do a decent job
until you actually sometimes will leave my McDonald's bag in
the bottom right at the bottom of a can. Don't
(05:21):
get it all completely cleaned out.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I don't think you still call it that cayne.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
You gotta got the flip lit on the top of
the can. We call it a bin. It's not your
garbage can, which they don't call it a garbage bin.
They call it a garbage can, a trash ben. What's up, Anita?
How you doing good? I Needa? Where are you sneaking
off to after work?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
The casino?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Oh? You're good? Which one do you go to?
Speaker 5 (05:49):
It just depends on what floats my boat. Really, I
kind of go buy all of them because I take
ninety four to two or from work and I don't
do it anymore. I used to do it, but construction
and crap has made it harder now. But you know, oh,
traffic sucks.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I'm just going to stop at the casino and say
I was in.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Traffic, and I would do it on the way to
work too, if I got up really early, and I'd
be like laying there in red and I go.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
You know, I could get up and stop at the
casino on the way to work. You are an addiction,
by the way, call one eight hundred gambler there.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Anita, I don't do it anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I gave it up.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
You know what though, that I do hear you. There's
something relaxing about just sitting in there and king king exactly.
I get it. I like that, Angela. Where do you
sneak off to sneak? I sneak off to McDonald's. I'll
look at you.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Do you get what's your order?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Coke?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Coke?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And what's that? You know?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
That's just a good little man.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, that's nothing. That's nothing for you.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
A good sure box of McDonald fries is like top
five meals of all time if they make it the
right way with the nice salt proportion, like a good
McDonald fry can six.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And they have to cook it just right. If they
undercook him, which I got recently, I was really passed
Limp FROs by the way. I did not realize. I
did not realize that a small McDonald's fry still comes
in the small little pack the paper ones. How are
you ordering small McDonald fry exactly right, you do, right?
I shouldn't be ordering a small one.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Have you seen how cute the little fry boxes in
the Happy Meal?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Are they little teenies? Because they're little? Yeah, they're like
half the size of the small.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yes, all that Alexis does. Forget the casino and McDonald's.
Where do you sneak off to after work?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Well?
Speaker 5 (07:49):
My husband is He thinks I don't need it, but
he's quite a bit younger, so he may not know.
But I sneak off and get botox.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh, look at you? For you, he knows a little bit.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Most guys don't really knock.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
He don't. You don't look different.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
No, it's gradual, so it's free weeks to take it. Okay, okay, okay,
all right, we'll keep it for you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Okay, thank you, bye, And the same as botox? Jen,
Where do you sneak off to after work? Jen?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yes? Hi?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Where do you sneak off to?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh? I would like take a vacation day, but not
tell anybody that I was taking a vacation day. And
I would leave my house like I was going to work,
and then I would go do like a massage or
go to that float spa, go grab lunch where I
wanted to go.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Like the take a vacation there.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Well, because you always take a vacation day and you're
doing stuff around the house or you feel like you
have to do stuff around the house. So it was
kind of the only way I could go do that
and not feel guilty.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Do you because the only thing that I love, every
single thing about this, but I don't want to wake
up at the same time.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
That's the only thing that would throw me.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Do you still wake up at the same time or
prepare like you're going to work or do you just
say I'm going in.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I do, but then I use no, I do, but
then I would go get like treat myself to a lot. Hey,
I would just make it a whole day for me.
That's all the things I loved.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I like. I think everybody should try that. Yeah, that's good,
that is a great one. What happens though, you know
I got disconnected with her. I was gonna say, what
happens though, if your your husband or your family calls
work to see how you're doing it, doesn't call your
cell phone or can't get a hold of you when
you're getting that hour massage they freak out, go to
work and don't know your car's not there? You know,
war roses. Hold on, Tea, we're talking about sneaking off
(09:49):
after work. Where do you sneak off to after work?
I go, speak out it, Spikey carrent you what's that.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Pikey carring?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I support you? Go get spicy time? What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
It's PG for baking cookie?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Wait? And who you doing this with the side of
course you wait? Oh, I don't support it. You're speaking
in uh in code, Harry. She goes and wait, you're
a married woman and you go to sneak off and
get sex from your side piece? Yes? Oh t hold
on now I know why she's voices. Guys. Wow, how
(10:30):
long has this been going on?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Realistic? Please, I'm not lying over a couple of months.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That's craziness. Aren't you worried you're gonna get caught? There's
no way that they can catch it.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
You go out of town? Okay, next city over?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
How'd you find this Spicy Time?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I've been knowing the question.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Do they know your husband?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Oh? Lot? Oh Lord, have mercy.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Before I never turned if it was a girl.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
And baby Jesus.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
R A T.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Will you behave yourself? That's not good, that isn't that.
I'm just going to McDonald's. Wow.
It's mojo in the morning. So I kind of embarrassed
doing this. But I don't know if there are any
people that ever do this. But I got busted not
going home yesterday, got the text saying, Hey, when are
you coming home? And I text Chelsea back, I go,
I'm going to leave here in about like thirty or
(00:20):
forty minutes, and She's like, okay, no problem. And then
I ended up doing something that I do every now
and again, and that is stop off at the strip
club and have myself at a stake.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (00:34):
I don't ever know, although yesterday we were talking about
strip clubs and stuff like that, and it made me
think to myself, who are the guys that just go
to strip clubs randomly during the day, Like they go
and they say they're eating and stuff. But my strip
club is different. My strip club is the mall. I
like to go to the mall sometimes, and I like
to go like middle of the day on my way
(00:55):
home from work. I like to get myself a little
food out of the food court car usually well usually
I go to the Twelve Oaks Mall. So I'll go
Taco Bell and I'll just get like myself and I know,
it sounds weird to just say, cause why would you
go to Taco Bell? But everything else kind of has
gluten in it. You know. Back in the day, I
(01:15):
used to go to that you know, orange chicken on
a stick, give me the stap to get Taco Bell.
I know, but I but I go shopping too. I
go to the Apple Store and stuff like that. Yeah,
park my car up there right at the the you
know area where the Apple Store is, and do a
little walking around the mall, see the people over, you know,
(01:36):
Missus Fields or the cooks Hot Topic, hang out and
say hi to my friends at Hot Topic. So Chelsea goes,
you're not on your way home. She notices because you
got to find my on there. And I used to
get busted all the time, even before find my was
on there where you could track and see where you're going.
(01:57):
I'd get busted by the smell. So I'd come home home,
and back in the day, we used to be closer
to work, you know, like it was twelve minutes or something,
and I would go through the drive through of McDonald's,
or go through the drive through sometimes at you know, Chipotle,
and I would eat really quick and then I would
stop off at the shell station, which is right there
by my house, and I'd dump the garbage in there,
(02:18):
and then I'd come home and I'd give Chelsea a
hug to say, hey, honey, had a great day to go.
You smell like fris Do you do that? I want
to know if there are any listeners that do this.
I want to know if you are the type of
listener that you sneak after work and go somewhere. And
where do you sneak to? Because there are other places.
(02:39):
It doesn't have to be food. Alta might be one
of those places.
Speaker 3 (02:43):
You know, you would never find me lying about going
to TJ Max.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Or Homegol whenever.
Speaker 3 (02:50):
Whenever I tell Wes I'm running errands, he thinks it's
legit and now he knows it's It's Goods and TJ Max,
I mean legit.
Speaker 1 (03:00):
If I if she knew you were no, if I
said to her, I'm going to the mall, she would say,
what do you need now? Like would be one of
those things, but she would not No, she wouldn't care.
But it was one of those things where I can
I tell you what I was shamed about. I was
shamed about because I got on the scale and I
gained like five or six pounds, and I was shaming,
and I told her, I said, I'm gonna start watching
what I eat during the day, and I'm gonna make
sure I just foku it because I'm you know, I've
(03:20):
been really good. I've been losing weight and stuff. And
then I realized, but I didn't want all of a
sudden the day after I said I'm gonna watch what
I eat, saying I'm going to the food court at
the mall. Is it ever a.
Speaker 4 (03:29):
Situation where you know she might not like it, so
you bring her something back?
Speaker 1 (03:35):
If I do the drive through on the way home,
what I'll do is I'll say I have a craving
and she'll go, what do you have a craving for?
And I'll tell her and she goes. I do too,
like like jumping on it because I feel like this
so often is the blow? Yeah, oh you got to
bring something home? Yeah, but there's just so fun. Yeah.
Fat I honestly admission here, fat I admission sometimes I
(03:55):
would like to go eat before I eat, because then
I eat less when I'm at home and makes me
look like I'm being good. So sometimes I actually no, no,
sometimes I'll go Chipotle three hard tacos. They do that,
they give you the three They have a three taco
pack and I get three hard tacos. I'll eat those
as kind of an appetizer start your day. Yeah, and
(04:17):
I'll eat those and then I'll go home. You know,
if it's a late day, like five o'clock, well, you're
gonna sit down and eat dinner, and then I'll be like,
you know, I don't think I'm gonna have the potatoes
tonight to stay.
Speaker 3 (04:29):
And they all look at me like what, and Chelsea
in her heads like.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Yeah. I used to throw the garbage away in my
garbage cans. So we have garbage cans up by our house.
And the problem was then at the end of dinner,
when you're cleaning up, you have to be the one
to take the garbage out so that you don't see
the on top McDonald's best.
Speaker 3 (04:50):
Everybody in my house, by the way, when I take
out the garbage, I'm like, oh, healthy, West was a culver.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
The evidence is in the garbe and it's tough because
you're throwing away a or this happens to me, you're
throwing away like the bag from McDonald's and then the
garbage guys shout out priority waste. Ninety nine point nine
percent of the time, you guys do a decent job
until you actually sometimes will leave my McDonald's bag in
the bottom right at the bottom of a can. Don't
(05:21):
get it all completely cleaned out.
Speaker 3 (05:23):
I don't think you still call it that cayne.
Speaker 1 (05:25):
You gotta got the flip lit on the top of
the can. We call it a bin. It's not your
garbage can, which they don't call it a garbage bin.
They call it a garbage can, a trash ben. What's up, Anita?
How you doing good? I Needa? Where are you sneaking
off to after work?
Speaker 5 (05:43):
The casino?
Speaker 1 (05:44):
Oh? You're good? Which one do you go to?
Speaker 5 (05:49):
It just depends on what floats my boat. Really, I
kind of go buy all of them because I take
ninety four to two or from work and I don't
do it anymore. I used to do it, but construction
and crap has made it harder now. But you know, oh,
traffic sucks.
Speaker 1 (06:08):
I'm just going to stop at the casino and say
I was in.
Speaker 5 (06:11):
Traffic, and I would do it on the way to
work too, if I got up really early, and I'd
be like laying there in red and I go.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
You know, I could get up and stop at the
casino on the way to work. You are an addiction,
by the way, call one eight hundred gambler there.
Speaker 5 (06:25):
Anita, I don't do it anymore.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I gave it up.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
You know what though, that I do hear you. There's
something relaxing about just sitting in there and king king exactly.
I get it. I like that, Angela. Where do you
sneak off to sneak? I sneak off to McDonald's. I'll
look at you.
Speaker 3 (06:47):
Do you get what's your order?
Speaker 1 (06:50):
Coke?
Speaker 2 (06:53):
Coke?
Speaker 1 (06:53):
And what's that? You know?
Speaker 3 (06:56):
That's just a good little man.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, that's nothing. That's nothing for you.
Speaker 4 (07:00):
A good sure box of McDonald fries is like top
five meals of all time if they make it the
right way with the nice salt proportion, like a good
McDonald fry can six.
Speaker 1 (07:11):
And they have to cook it just right. If they
undercook him, which I got recently, I was really passed
Limp FROs by the way. I did not realize. I
did not realize that a small McDonald's fry still comes
in the small little pack the paper ones. How are
you ordering small McDonald fry exactly right, you do, right?
I shouldn't be ordering a small one.
Speaker 3 (07:32):
Have you seen how cute the little fry boxes in
the Happy Meal?
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yes?
Speaker 3 (07:35):
Are they little teenies? Because they're little? Yeah, they're like
half the size of the small.
Speaker 1 (07:40):
Yes, all that Alexis does. Forget the casino and McDonald's.
Where do you sneak off to after work?
Speaker 2 (07:49):
Well?
Speaker 5 (07:49):
My husband is He thinks I don't need it, but
he's quite a bit younger, so he may not know.
But I sneak off and get botox.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
Oh, look at you? For you, he knows a little bit.
Speaker 3 (08:03):
Most guys don't really knock.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
He don't. You don't look different.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
No, it's gradual, so it's free weeks to take it. Okay, okay, okay,
all right, we'll keep it for you.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
Okay, thank you, bye, And the same as botox? Jen,
Where do you sneak off to after work? Jen?
Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yes? Hi?
Speaker 1 (08:32):
Where do you sneak off to?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Oh? I would like take a vacation day, but not
tell anybody that I was taking a vacation day. And
I would leave my house like I was going to work,
and then I would go do like a massage or
go to that float spa, go grab lunch where I
wanted to go.
Speaker 1 (08:51):
Like the take a vacation there.
Speaker 2 (08:56):
Well, because you always take a vacation day and you're
doing stuff around the house or you feel like you
have to do stuff around the house. So it was
kind of the only way I could go do that
and not feel guilty.
Speaker 4 (09:06):
Do you because the only thing that I love, every
single thing about this, but I don't want to wake
up at the same time.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
That's the only thing that would throw me.
Speaker 4 (09:12):
Do you still wake up at the same time or
prepare like you're going to work or do you just
say I'm going in.
Speaker 2 (09:16):
I do, but then I use no, I do, but
then I would go get like treat myself to a lot. Hey,
I would just make it a whole day for me.
That's all the things I loved.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
I like. I think everybody should try that. Yeah, that's good,
that is a great one. What happens though, you know
I got disconnected with her. I was gonna say, what
happens though, if your your husband or your family calls
work to see how you're doing it, doesn't call your
cell phone or can't get a hold of you when
you're getting that hour massage they freak out, go to
work and don't know your car's not there? You know,
war roses. Hold on, Tea, we're talking about sneaking off
(09:49):
after work. Where do you sneak off to after work?
I go, speak out it, Spikey carrent you what's that.
Speaker 3 (09:58):
Pikey carring?
Speaker 1 (09:59):
I support you? Go get spicy time? What does that mean?
Speaker 3 (10:03):
It's PG for baking cookie?
Speaker 1 (10:05):
Wait? And who you doing this with the side of
course you wait? Oh, I don't support it. You're speaking
in uh in code, Harry. She goes and wait, you're
a married woman and you go to sneak off and
get sex from your side piece? Yes? Oh t hold
on now I know why she's voices. Guys. Wow, how
(10:30):
long has this been going on?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
Realistic? Please, I'm not lying over a couple of months.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
That's craziness. Aren't you worried you're gonna get caught? There's
no way that they can catch it.
Speaker 3 (10:44):
You go out of town? Okay, next city over?
Speaker 2 (10:47):
You know.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
How'd you find this Spicy Time?
Speaker 2 (10:52):
Oh?
Speaker 3 (10:53):
I've been knowing the question.
Speaker 1 (10:55):
Do they know your husband?
Speaker 2 (10:57):
Yep?
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Oh? Lot? Oh Lord, have mercy.
Speaker 3 (11:03):
Before I never turned if it was a girl.
Speaker 4 (11:07):
And baby Jesus.
Speaker 2 (11:09):
Wow.
Speaker 5 (11:09):
R A T.
Speaker 1 (11:10):
Will you behave yourself? That's not good, that isn't that.
I'm just going to McDonald's. Wow.
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CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist
It’s 1996 in rural North Carolina, and an oddball crew makes history when they pull off America’s third largest cash heist. But it’s all downhill from there. Join host Johnny Knoxville as he unspools a wild and woolly tale about a group of regular ‘ol folks who risked it all for a chance at a better life. CrimeLess: Hillbilly Heist answers the question: what would you do with 17.3 million dollars? The answer includes diamond rings, mansions, velvet Elvis paintings, plus a run for the border, murder-for-hire-plots, and FBI busts.