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January 29, 2025 12 mins

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hold on a second, Hold on, what is it that
somebody was asking you to? Are you going to sell
it to them? Or are you going to do it
as a favorite for them. I'm not doing it at all.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Well you're not. But what were they asking you for?

Speaker 1 (00:12):
They was asking from my p Wait wait, hold on,
like you're like, oh wait, I can't.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
I don't know what you were talking about. That's why
I looked at you like that.

Speaker 1 (00:26):
Wait what so they were they were asking you? Is
this like a stranger or who was this is a
family member. I'm gonna put them out their own blast,
but this is a family member.

Speaker 3 (00:34):
Oh is it a drug test situation?

Speaker 1 (00:35):
That's exactly what it is. They getting a new job
in this job drug test and they smoke weed. The
job doesn't allow that.

Speaker 2 (00:42):
I don't take that job.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
And wait what job? Truly? What job doesn't allow you that?

Speaker 2 (00:46):
Like government jobs and.

Speaker 3 (00:48):
A lot of the higherment even if it's legal. Really,
I did not know that.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
You can't well, hospitals too, you can't.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Oh well that would make sense to me, Okay, yes.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
They don't want you high as the job are.

Speaker 3 (00:59):
People who work in mission and who's all got drug tested?

Speaker 1 (01:01):
If it's just against your company's policy, or if they're
a worldwide company. Huh wait, so so they asked you,
they asked you to pee for them. Why do you
pee sitting down and the cook? I gotta test? How
do they know that you listen out of everybody's p
on this show. I ain't choosing your pee? Why because
I don't know where your pea's been. I don't know

(01:21):
what you're I might well, look, it was my p
this morning. It might be a darker, it might be
a lighter yellow because I think I had some juice
last night. I'm typically clear string. Wait, you don't do
any narcotics at all. I don't smoke, I don't sniff,
I don't shoot up. All I do is sit jon
none at all. I haven't seen you years. Really Yeah,
that's not my vibe no more. It takes me somewhere

(01:42):
out and.

Speaker 2 (01:43):
Need to go. Why do your eyes always look a
little glossy? That's just the shy.

Speaker 3 (01:48):
I don't know that's sparkling here?

Speaker 2 (01:52):
Interesting?

Speaker 1 (01:52):
Has anybody else? I've always wondered this with the the
can I get your pee? Somebody needs to call us
up and tell us. And this might be from back
in the day. But could that work because I've taken
drug tests before and they make you go into a
bathroom and it's got to be a certain temperature.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
I don't know if there are people that it does.

Speaker 1 (02:13):
I mean I've heard that certain jobs, they'll go in
the bathroom with you, like they're not looking at show
your part to see the pea actually come out, but
like they're physically.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
In the disroom.

Speaker 1 (02:23):
They're making sure you don't pull bottles out of Maggie's
or anything like that. When I've done I've done two
drug tests in my life, and the two drug tests
that I've done both were go into this bathroom and
it was a one stallar, but it was going to
this bathroom and it was with the little sample cup
or whatever it was, and it was the moment that
you're done, you know, like they would tell you how
to do it, which, by the way, I got to

(02:44):
be quite honest with you, I would always feel like
a man because the cup always made me feel like
a man, because I would piece so much pe that
I would overflow the cup.

Speaker 3 (02:54):
Or we need to put a little bit in there,
you don't just the adequate amount and the rest.

Speaker 1 (02:59):
In my pet all I peeled all over the cups,
so they had to smell my pigs.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Because girls have to pee every time they go to
the gun colleges.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
You don't fill it up, No.

Speaker 3 (03:10):
Doctor Warner gives you these little itty bitty plastic cups.
I fill it up maybe halfway, and then I set
it on the ground and then I pee the rest
of my pea in the toilet, because why does it
need to be over?

Speaker 1 (03:22):
Just you got to You got to get a little
bit more. More less is more and more is less time.
If I got to go, might as well give them
all a little bit. Uh by the way, you ever
had you ever have to give him a stool sample?
That's what I never had to do that.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
And that you give them your doodle. I had to
give them.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
That was like the word I just they gave you
a little spoon to scoop it with, like literally, it's
like you know, you know those the ice creams that
come with their own little spoons.

Speaker 2 (03:53):
That's what it looks like. What if it's not solid
that day.

Speaker 3 (03:56):
Well you put it on. You got to poop at
home and bring it in like I do you at
the vet, like bring Charlie's poop in or do you
have to or do you have to poop there? I cannot.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
I brought it in.

Speaker 3 (04:08):
I did my first Do you muscle it into your
passenger seat?

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Oh listen, listen.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
I figure if I'm going to get pulled over by
a cop, that might get me out of the traffic ticket.
I got bio waste on my passengers seat and I
actually keep the seat warm.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Worst Seanna.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
We were talking about how keV was asked by a
family friend member to set for his pee.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
What's going on?

Speaker 4 (04:35):
So my kids are My boys are eight years apart,
and my middle son was like, you know, good in school,
good in sports, while his brother is eight years older
than him, so he would sell his piss all of
his brothers. Oh my god, I'd make extra money in
high school because the piss was clean. Like people would
literally be hitting me up asking me to get him
out of school so they could get some pee.

Speaker 5 (04:56):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (05:00):
Way, I gotta tell you. I don't know where are
you from. By the way, are you well?

Speaker 5 (05:05):
I'm from West Florida, but I live in Adrian.

Speaker 1 (05:08):
I love, I love I love that you call it piss.
I was like, damn, my pass my son's busy well
because I have.

Speaker 5 (05:14):
A bunch of boys.

Speaker 4 (05:16):
They're just like they're ruthless.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
I love it. Thank you mom for calling you.

Speaker 4 (05:21):
And you use a pocket warmer?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh is that what it's called? Then?

Speaker 6 (05:28):
Like?

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Wait, the pocket warmer like those things you hold on
to it around at a football game.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah, yeah, helps keep your urine warm.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
It's good man, oh Man, thank you for the call. Ryan.
What's going on? How are you not too much?

Speaker 5 (05:42):
What's going on?

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Nothing much? We're talking about people selling their pee.

Speaker 7 (05:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 8 (05:47):
Well this was a family deal, so I guess they
got the family discount. Someone I used to work with
had her son key in a bag and she taints
it to the inside of her side so it would
be warm when she had to go take a test.

Speaker 2 (06:00):
What's the bag, boss?

Speaker 9 (06:03):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (06:03):
I think you know, honestly, I think she might have
used the condom.

Speaker 1 (06:07):
I've heard that too. I like, by the way, the
family deal. All I think about is the La Fontaine
get the family deal on PA. That's awesome. Thank you
for the call. What's up, Elizabeth?

Speaker 7 (06:18):
Hey? So I work for our company and we have
truck drivers on staff. I drive not a truck but
a car. For my job. I had to take a
drug test. But our truck drivers have to pass drug
tests with no trace of marijuana because they have a
CDL license.

Speaker 1 (06:38):
Okay, okay, And.

Speaker 7 (06:41):
As far as Kevin given his piss to his family member,
the people that do drug testing know when they grab
that cup what temperature it should be. I know the
guy just said take a pocket warmer. But you cannot
walk into the bathroom with me. Think like they'll see
you stuff in your pockets. You can't take a jacket,

(07:04):
you can't take a bag. They will sometimes put a
thermometer in the peed to make sure it's body temps.
So good luck to Kevin's guide. But they are way
smart at these places.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, they've got detections. I know on that they can
tell what's going on. Initial B wants to be voices. Guys,
listen to this one, Initial B. I'm looking at your
your comment here, what's up?

Speaker 10 (07:30):
So I have to take a gigi and I knew
I was gonna tail, so I use a late kick
and I use my little and I actually put it
inside of me because I need to be more and
I just take it off.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
So wait, so your sister gives you hers, you put
it in a latex condom and then you put it
in your vagina. Yes, and then you go into the
test teen room and just break off the thing or
and put it into the thing.

Speaker 6 (08:05):
So they.

Speaker 10 (08:07):
So I told pop it.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
So, oh my gosh, finger pop.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Question for you on this is this doing the testing
because you're like in trouble with the law and you're
not supposed to be doing drugs?

Speaker 10 (08:18):
No, it was for a change service. They watch you.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Okay, that's it.

Speaker 10 (08:23):
You have to practice the pope it.

Speaker 4 (08:25):
So it wasn't The first.

Speaker 5 (08:26):
Try was a past.

Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, to try practice because I know that there's a
lot of people when their number gets or their color
gets called, because I know it's I think it's a
color system though, like call, like all the people that
are blue have to go in and do task for
when you're in trouble the law. I wonder if some
of those people have to do that too. Uh heyzous
on the phone with us right now? What's ups hey, sir?

Speaker 5 (08:50):
So long time listener, first time calling. So I actually
wait to take a drug test, and I knew that
I would gonna pee dirty for marijuana. So I asked
my father to peek for me, and I got my
result back a week later and I got fired because
I failed my job for cocaine.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Oh my god, did you know your dad did that?

Speaker 5 (09:20):
No, No, had no clue at all. And then when
I told him about it, he was like, dude, I
totally forgot I am so.

Speaker 2 (09:26):
So my god. That's crazy.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh my lord, that is unbelievable.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
That is crazy. What a crazy call? That is? What's
going on, Gabriel?

Speaker 11 (09:43):
What's the first time long time, anytime we talk about drugs,
we get all the first time callers calling in?

Speaker 2 (09:51):
What's going on? Not much?

Speaker 11 (09:55):
I had a story where I had a drop for
a job and a buddy in my I had to
have him year and in a balloon. I tied the
balloon up, put the balloon in my underwear right underneath
my genitals, had to go to the employer, and then
had to put a needle to pop the balloon and

(10:16):
then put it into the cup.

Speaker 1 (10:20):
Were you worried at all about making the wrong move
and having that balloon pop?

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Weren't supposed to have?

Speaker 11 (10:29):
Actually, when I went to go pop it, it almost
got stuck in the balloon, so it almost got.

Speaker 5 (10:33):
To the point where I had to rip it so
then it.

Speaker 11 (10:36):
Would have just went everywhere, but luckily I was able
to save it in time without.

Speaker 2 (10:40):
Making too much noise in the bathroom. Oh my god, Yeah,
they go into the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
Here, I got the rubber of the balloon and you
got the job right, Yeah, if I hope I hung
up on him.

Speaker 2 (10:53):
Hopefully Dad? That guy. Last guy's dad wasn't Dan. Last
call on this one?

Speaker 6 (10:58):
Here?

Speaker 2 (10:58):
What's going on?

Speaker 8 (10:58):
Dan?

Speaker 6 (11:00):
There's not much to mojo.

Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm honestly dumbfound of these calls have been fantastic this morning.

Speaker 2 (11:05):
What's going on?

Speaker 5 (11:07):
Uh?

Speaker 7 (11:07):
You say the best for lads.

Speaker 6 (11:09):
This one's This one's.

Speaker 9 (11:10):
Just like uh, basically like a strap on, but it's
kinda uh my buddy used to use it to pass
this drug test, the piece for probation.

Speaker 5 (11:20):
Well you used. It's basically like a strap on.

Speaker 1 (11:23):
You wear it.

Speaker 6 (11:24):
And it's got a bag attached to it, and you
use like a hand warmer too to hold the peace.
And I didn't touch it, but I was wondering how
it worked.

Speaker 5 (11:37):
It's just like milk and milk and a towel.

Speaker 2 (11:43):
Does this thing have a name? It's called this is
like a commercial in the middle of the night.

Speaker 3 (11:57):
Look at that thing ruptured you're hearing it or can
you imagine watching someone else's peet all over you or.

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Watching him milk the O my god, practice let me see.
All I'm thinking about is uh meet the Fokkers. When
he was talking about milking.

Speaker 3 (12:14):
The Oh, he's not choking. It looks like I want.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
To say it again, but he looked it up in.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Appreciate you, buddy, Thanks for calling Dan. Go On bye,
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