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March 25, 2025 12 mins

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Episode Transcript

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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hold on, a second. Hold on, What is it that
somebody was asking you to? Are you going to sell
it to them? Or are you going to do it
as a favorite for them. I'm not doing it at all.

Speaker 2 (00:10):
Well you're not. But what were they asking you for?

Speaker 1 (00:12):
They was asking from a p Wait wait, hold on,
like you're like, oh wait, I can't.

Speaker 3 (00:21):
I don't know what you were talking about.

Speaker 2 (00:23):
Wait, that's why I looked at you like that. Wait
what so they were they were asking you? Was this
like a stranger or who was this is a family member.
I'm gonna put them out their own blast, but this
is a family member.

Speaker 4 (00:33):
Oh?

Speaker 3 (00:33):
Is it a drug test situation?

Speaker 2 (00:35):
That's exactly what it is.

Speaker 1 (00:36):
They getting a new job in this job drug test
and they smoke weed.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
The job doesn't allow that. I don't take that job.

Speaker 3 (00:43):
And wait what job? Truly? What job doesn't allow? You
don't like government and a lot of him even if
it's legal. Really, I did not know that.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
You can't well hospitals too? You can't.

Speaker 4 (00:54):
Oh well that.

Speaker 3 (00:54):
Would make sense to me.

Speaker 2 (00:55):
Okay, yes, they don't want you high on the job.

Speaker 5 (00:58):
Are people who work in Michigan news of a drug
test and if it's just against your company's policy, or
if they're a worldwide company.

Speaker 1 (01:03):
Huh wait, so so they asked you, they asked you
to pee for them?

Speaker 2 (01:08):
Why do you pee sitting down and the cook?

Speaker 1 (01:12):
I gotta how do they know that you listen out
of everybody's p on this show? I ain't choosing your
pe why because I don't know where your pea's been.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
I don't know what I might. Well, look, it was
my p this morning.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
It might be well, a darker, it might be a
lighter yellow because I think I had some juice last night.
I'm typically clear string. Wait, you don't do any narcotics
at all. I don't smoke, I don't sniff, I don't
shoot up. All I do is sit none at all.
I haven't seen you years. Really Yeah, that's not my
vibe no more.

Speaker 2 (01:41):
It takes me somewhere out and need to go.

Speaker 1 (01:43):
Why do your eyes always look a little glossy?

Speaker 3 (01:46):
That's just the I don't know that's sparkling?

Speaker 2 (01:51):
Interesting? Has anybody else?

Speaker 1 (01:53):
I've always wondered this with the the can I get
your pee? Somebody needs to call us up and tell us.
And this might be from back in a day, but
could that work? Because I've taken drug tests before, and
they make you go into a bathroom and it's got
to be a certain temperature.

Speaker 2 (02:08):
I don't know if there are people that it does.

Speaker 1 (02:10):
I mean I've heard that certain jobs, they'll go in
the bathroom with you, like they're not looking at show
your part to see the pe actually come out, but
like they're physically in the distom. They're making sure you
don't pull bottles out, baggies or anything like that. When
I've done I've done two drug tests in my life,
and the two drug tests that I've done, both were

(02:33):
go into this bathroom and it was a one stallar,
but it was going to this bathroom and it was
with the little sample cup or whatever it was, and
it was the moment that you're done, you know, like
they would tell you how to do it, which, by
the way, I got to be quite honest with you,
I would always feel like a man because the cup
always made me feel like a man, because I would
piece so much pe that I would overflow the.

Speaker 6 (02:53):
Cup or we need to put a little bit in there.
You don't just put the adequate amount and the rest.

Speaker 1 (02:58):
In my peed all I peeled all over the cups,
so they had to smell my pigs.

Speaker 3 (03:03):
Oh, because girls have to pee every time they go
to the gun colleges.

Speaker 2 (03:07):
You don't fill it up, no, doctor.

Speaker 6 (03:10):
Warner gives you these little itty bitty plastic cups. I
fill it up maybe halfway, and then I set it
on the ground and then I pee the rest of
my pea in the toilet.

Speaker 1 (03:17):
I need to, because why does it need to be over?
Just you got to You got to need a little
bit more more, less is more and more is less time.
If I got to go, might as well give them
all a little bit. Uh by the way, I ever
had to You ever have to give him a stool sample,
That's what I never had.

Speaker 2 (03:38):
To do that. And that you give them your doodle.
I had to give them.

Speaker 1 (03:42):
That was like the word I just they gave you
a little spoon to scoop it with, like literally, it's
like you know, you know those the ice creams that
come with their own little spoons.

Speaker 2 (03:52):
That's what it looks like. What if it's not solid
that day we put it on?

Speaker 6 (03:57):
You got to poop at home and bring it in
like I do the vet, like bring Charlie's poop in.

Speaker 3 (04:02):
Or do you have to or do you have to
poop there? I cannot.

Speaker 2 (04:07):
I brought it in I did my first.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Do you muscle it into your passenger seat?

Speaker 2 (04:12):
Oh? Listen, listen.

Speaker 1 (04:13):
I figure if I'm going to get pulled over by
a cop, that might get me out of the traffic ticket.
I got bio waste on my passengers, and I actually
keep the seat warm.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Worst Shanna.

Speaker 1 (04:26):
We were talking about how keV was asked by a
family friend member to set for his pee.

Speaker 2 (04:34):
What's going on?

Speaker 7 (04:35):
So my kids are My boys are eight years apart,
and my middle son was like, you know, good in school,
good in sports, while his brother's eight years older than him.
So he would sell his piss all of his brothers.

Speaker 3 (04:47):
Oh my god, I'd.

Speaker 7 (04:49):
Make extra money in high school because the pist was clean.
Like people would literally be hitting me up asking me
to get him out of school so they could get
some pee.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, I gotta tell you, I don't know where are
you from, By the way, are you well?

Speaker 7 (05:04):
I'm from Florida, but I live in Adrian.

Speaker 1 (05:07):
I love, I love, I love that you call it piss.
I liken my pass My son's busy.

Speaker 7 (05:13):
Well, because I have a bunch of boys. They're just
like they're ruthless.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
I love it. Thank you mom for calling me.

Speaker 7 (05:20):
You and you use a pocket warmer?

Speaker 2 (05:23):
Oh is that what it's called? Then?

Speaker 1 (05:28):
Like? Wait, the pocket warmer like those things you hold
on to it around at a football game.

Speaker 4 (05:32):
Yeah.

Speaker 7 (05:33):
Yeah, it helps keep your urine warm.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
It's good trip, man, oh man, thank you for the call. Ryan.
What's going on? How are you not too much? What's
going on?

Speaker 1 (05:43):
Nothing much? We're talking about people selling their pee. Yeah,
well this was a family deal, so I guess they
got the family discount.

Speaker 2 (05:51):
Someone I used to work with had her son.

Speaker 1 (05:53):
Tea in a bag and she taints it to the
inside of her side so it'd be warm when she
had to go take.

Speaker 2 (05:58):
A test the bag boss, I don't know. I think
you know, honestly, I think she might have used the condom.

Speaker 1 (06:06):
I like, By the way, the family deal. All I
think about is the La Fontaine get the family deal on.
That's awesome. Thank you for the call. What's up, Elizabeth?

Speaker 8 (06:18):
Hey? So I work for our company and we have
truck drivers on staff. I drive not a truck but
a car for my job. I had to take a
drug test, but our truck drivers have to pass drug
tests with no trace of marijuana because they have a
CDL license.

Speaker 2 (06:38):
Okay, okay, And.

Speaker 8 (06:41):
As far as Kevin given his piss to his family member,
the people that do drug testing know when they grab
that cup what temperature it should be. I know the
guy just said take a pocket warmer. But you cannot
walk into the bathroom with any thing like they'll see
you stuff in your pockets. You can't take a jacket,

(07:03):
you can't take a bag. They will sometimes put a
thermometer in the peed to make sure it's body temps.
So good luck to Kevin guy. But they are way
smart at these places.

Speaker 1 (07:17):
Yeah, they've got detections. I know on that they can
tell what's going on. Initial B wants to be voices, guys,
listen to this one. Initial B. I'm looking at your
your comment here, what's up?

Speaker 5 (07:29):
So I have to take a giant kick and I
knew I was gonna tail, So I use a late
pick and I use my little clean and I actually
put it inside of me because I need to be
more and I just take it off.

Speaker 1 (07:47):
So wait, so your sister gives you hers, you put
it in a latex condom and then you put it
in your vagina. Yes, and then you go into the
testing room and just break off the thing or and
put it into the thing.

Speaker 5 (08:05):
So that I have so I could pop it.

Speaker 2 (08:08):
So oh my gosh, finger pop.

Speaker 1 (08:10):
Question for you on this is this doing the testing
because you're like in trouble with the law and you're
not supposed to be doing drugs.

Speaker 5 (08:18):
No, it was for a change service. They watch you.

Speaker 2 (08:21):
Okay, that's okay.

Speaker 5 (08:23):
You have to practice the pope it. So it wasn't
the first try.

Speaker 1 (08:26):
I was a pat Yeah, to try practice because I
know that there's a lot of people when their number
gets or their color gets called, because I know it's
I think it's a color system, they'll like call like
all the people that are blue have to go in
and do task for when you're in trouble the law.
I wonder if some of those people have to do
that too. Uh heyzus on the phone with us right now?

(08:46):
What's up zus?

Speaker 4 (08:48):
Hey, sir, So long time listener, first time calling. So
I actually went to take a drug test, and I
knew that I was going to pee dirty from marijuana.
So I asked my father to pee for me, and
I got my result back a week later, and I
got fired because I failed my job for cocaine.

Speaker 1 (09:09):
Oh my god, did you know your dad did that?

Speaker 4 (09:19):
No, no, no clue at all. And then when I
told him about it, he was like, dude, I totally forgot.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
I am so so my god, that's crazy.

Speaker 1 (09:30):
Oh my lord, that is unbelievable.

Speaker 2 (09:34):
That is crazy. What a crazy call? That is? What's
going on, Gabriel?

Speaker 4 (09:42):
What's up? First time? Long time?

Speaker 1 (09:47):
Anytime we talk about drugs, we get all the first
time callers calling in.

Speaker 2 (09:51):
What's going on? Not much?

Speaker 4 (09:54):
I had a story where I had a drop for
a job and a buddy of mine had to have.

Speaker 2 (10:00):
Him urine in a balloon.

Speaker 4 (10:03):
I tied the balloon up, put the balloon in my
underwear right underneath my genitals, had to go to the employer,
and then had to put a needle to pop the
balloon and then put it into the cups.

Speaker 1 (10:19):
Were you worried at all about making the wrong move
and having that balloon pop?

Speaker 2 (10:26):
Weren't supposed to have?

Speaker 4 (10:28):
Actually, when I went to go pop it, it almost
got stuck in the balloon, so it almost got to
the point where I had to rip it, so then
it would have just went everywhere.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
But luckily I was able to save it in time
without making too much noise in the bathroom.

Speaker 2 (10:42):
Oh my god. Yeah, they go into the bathroom.

Speaker 1 (10:44):
Here iber the of the balloon and you got the
job right, Yeah? If I hope I hung up on him.
Hopefully Dad. That last guy's dad wasn't Dan. Last call
on this one?

Speaker 4 (10:57):
Here?

Speaker 2 (10:57):
What's going on?

Speaker 4 (10:58):
Dan?

Speaker 1 (11:01):
I'm honestly dumbfounded. These calls have been fantastic this morning.
What's going on?

Speaker 8 (11:06):
Uh?

Speaker 7 (11:07):
You stayed the best for lad This one's this one's
just like uh, basically like a strap on, but it's
kind of uh my buddy used to use it.

Speaker 4 (11:16):
To pass this drug test the peak for probation. Well
you used to. It's basically like a strap on.

Speaker 6 (11:23):
You wear it and it's got a bag attached to it, and.

Speaker 4 (11:27):
You use like a hand warmer too to hold the peace.
And I didn't touch it, but I was.

Speaker 2 (11:35):
Wondering how it worked. It's just like milk and milk
and a cowl. Does this thing have a name? It's
called This is like a commercial in the middle of
the night.

Speaker 6 (11:57):
Look at that thing ruptured while you're hearing it? Or
can you imagine watching someone else's peet all over you?

Speaker 1 (12:05):
Or watching him milk the my god, let me see.
All I'm thinking about is uh meet the fokkers. When
he was talking about milking, Oh.

Speaker 3 (12:15):
He's not choking. It looks like I want to.

Speaker 2 (12:17):
Say it again, but he looked it up instanly.

Speaker 1 (12:22):
Bro.

Speaker 2 (12:22):
Appreciate you, buddy. Thanks for calling Dan. Go on bye,
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