Not My Baby

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Mojo in the morning.

Speaker 2 (00:01):
So yesterday on our show, there was a big, big
topic that was brought up. Actually it was honestly a
life situation that was brought up, and it was from Kevin.
And I ended up getting a message from a very
good friend of mine, Ur Dub.

Speaker 1 (00:20):
Do you remember our Dub was in studio with us.

Speaker 3 (00:22):
He's like the president has his own country.

Speaker 1 (00:25):
He owns his own country.

Speaker 2 (00:26):
Yes, he's visited every country in the world, and he
started his own country and it's a country of slow
jama stand which is what he hosts. He hosts a
show called Sunday Night Slow Jams. And so Dubb said, wow,
he goes, I've never in my life listened to radio
that was as real as the radio that he heard
yesterday when Kevin from our show announced on the air

(00:50):
that the baby that we all remember Kevin having a
couple of years ago was actually not his baby. And
for those that didn't get a chance to hear it,
I'm going to play you the clip of this so
that you guys get a chance to understand where Kevin
was coming from and get a recap on this. Because

(01:11):
I thought that this was so big and I think
a lot of people that listen at this time might
not have heard the conversation yesterday.

Speaker 4 (01:18):
And I've had like the weight of truth on me,
and I felt like, you kind of say, I'm going
to figure out when it's the right time to say something,
or I'll know when it's the right time to communicate,
or you hope that you receive this clarity or this
feeling where it feels like now is the moment that
I'm ready, And I always feel like that moment never

(01:39):
really comes. But over a year ago, Schrelle and I
were going through a rough patch. We separated for a
little bit of time, a few weeks, and during that time,
she conceived a child with someone else. And the child
that y'all saw me have a gender reveal for it,
that y'all saw me on the news, for the child
that I grew to love and come to to know

(02:00):
and understand and appreciate and call my own, in fact,
was not my biological daughter. And that sucked, for lack
of a better term, the hardest truth that I think
I've ever heard, a lot of pain, a lot of
anger at times, But we are now in a season

(02:22):
where you know, I'm not fully over it.

Speaker 1 (02:25):
Or fully healed.

Speaker 4 (02:25):
I still have my days, but I'm at a place
now where I can talk about it.

Speaker 2 (02:29):
Is that the reason why you and Churrell ended up
splitting up. It's not the ultimate reason.

Speaker 4 (02:34):
There are other things that factored around that situation. It's
not the end all br reason, but it is a
huge reason, yes, that we aren't together.

Speaker 3 (02:42):
Did you did you have any intuition about this?

Speaker 5 (02:45):
Oh?

Speaker 1 (02:45):
No, I had zero. I had zero intuition. I had
zero intuition.

Speaker 4 (02:48):
I made jokes, you know, just based on the color
of our skin and the color of the child skin.
But never in my mind did I ever think that
that baby wasn't mine.

Speaker 1 (02:56):
Yeah, I thought, you know, she looked just like my.

Speaker 4 (02:59):
Grandmother in certain she looked just like her mom in
certain instances. So never in my mind did I ever
think that that was a possibility until until it was.

Speaker 3 (03:08):
How did Josiah handle the news that this baby sister
that he thought was his baby sister is not really
his baby sister?

Speaker 4 (03:15):
Yeah, So that was a that was a very tough
conversation to have, and it was a very tough moment
of me actually being like trying to figure out how
to tell him and I honestly think some of it
was I didn't want it to be true, Like the
thought of even articulating that or understanding that was something
I was so far away from. I did not want

(03:36):
that to be my reality. And I think I prolonged
telling him because articulated it and telling him made it real.

Speaker 1 (03:43):
What's your relationship with Journey?

Speaker 5 (03:45):
Now?

Speaker 1 (03:46):
It is the one that's not my child? Okay, I
don't have a relationship with her. How does that affect you?

Speaker 6 (03:53):
Not a lot.

Speaker 4 (03:53):
I'm gonna be completely honest with really, not a lot.
I'm not her father, I don't have a I don't
have a relationship with her mom. I don't have a
relationship with her. Yeah. Yeah, But you know what the
craziest thing was, Like I want to say, maybe a
day or two or sometime within that week I found
out was Journey's first words, her first words were Dad.
At that that was a moment that like killed me.

(04:15):
You know, I went through a period of like shame,
went through a period of embarrassment.

Speaker 1 (04:21):
How could this happen to me?

Speaker 4 (04:22):
Sometimes you think like because growing up I never like
you hear these stories. But sometimes you be like dog,
like that's not going to be my story like that,
that can't be me finally out of place, Bro, where
it's like, you know what, don't never be a shame
to your story of what you're going through. It makes
you who you are, and I'm comfortable with who I am.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
That was a big moment yesterday on the show, and
you can listen to the entire podcast, including listeners that
said that they judged Kevin by not hearing him talk
about journey on the air but not knowing the full
story of what was going on and what you were
going through. So big, big part of our show yesterday,

(05:02):
and I recap this and bring this up because it's
also interesting to see how many other people that we
got text messages, calls, and honestly a ton of d
ms that said that they experienced something very very similar,
including Vinnie, who is on the phone with us right now. Vinnie,

(05:23):
you you experienced something similar to what keV experienced?

Speaker 5 (05:28):
Yes, sir, I mean my heart's out to you, Kevin Man,
because I went the same thing, Bro, and it was
it was terrible, man. Yeah, really long long story short.
I told my mom, she was all excited and all
this kind of stuff, my first baby, and then I
got I have to beaby was born at Since the picture,

(05:49):
she's instantly said, it's not your baby. I said, what,
this is my baby? No, this ain't your baby. She
looked like et I said, et man. I took a
fence other night. Me and my mama didn't talk for
like six months, and then we went to the court
and all that kind of stuff. I signed off and say, hey,
you know this is my baby. I not taking no

(06:10):
tests and everything. Long story short, two years later, we
had the bed birthday party and I was just sitting
there and just you know, everybody's saying, hey, he congratulations,
she's walking talk. I crossed the baby to walk talk everything,
and then I've seen the somber face on the baby
mama's face. He just sat through the whole party. And
then when we got home, she went took me to

(06:33):
the back room. She said, uh, Denny, I got something
to tell you. I said, what, it's not your baby.
I was like what, and I was white. I just
lost it and I started crying, balling out and I
walked out through just a kicker. I walked out the
room and I was like grandparents there, the parents there,

(06:53):
everybody's brothers and sisters, and I was like, oh he
know now huh.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
Wow, everybody knew except for you.

Speaker 5 (07:02):
Everybody knew except for me. I tore up that whole kitchen. Wow,
tow up do everything around there?

Speaker 1 (07:08):
All right?

Speaker 2 (07:08):
So, Vinnie, this this baby, which was a little girl.
Is that I'm assuming just like during a little girl? Yeah,
and so is this little girl for two years? This
is your baby, This is your daughter so much that.

Speaker 5 (07:23):
You daddy and everything.

Speaker 1 (07:25):
So what ended up happening after that?

Speaker 5 (07:29):
Uh? I had a little relationship for like a couple
of years now that I arn't so I was, you know,
around there, so well, I uh, through the years, it
just drifted apart. You know, I've seen them turning her
in and a kid, and I follow her on Facebook
and stuff.

Speaker 1 (07:45):
You know, she's you know, is her biological father in
her life?

Speaker 5 (07:50):
Oh yeah, yeah, it's in her life and everything.

Speaker 1 (07:52):
And so where so where was he?

Speaker 2 (07:54):
Where was he during the two years that that you
were thinking that you were the.

Speaker 5 (07:59):
Father and all the side of the base.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
So he was a guy that actually both served in
the military with.

Speaker 5 (08:07):
Yeah, So this is the part.

Speaker 2 (08:09):
This is the part that's the hardest part of this
whole thing, because I try to think back to you know,
when my children were that young and the attachment that
I got with them. You were there for two years? Okay,
How how do you walk away from what you are
believing as your daughter because.

Speaker 3 (08:29):
From a little girl who's called literally calling you daddy.

Speaker 2 (08:31):
Yeah, at any point did you want to stay in
that child's life?

Speaker 5 (08:37):
Of course? I did, you know, because I love the baby.
I mean two years, oh there almost every day. I
actually stayed at nights over their house. But she still
stay with her parents. Yeah, And so, like I said,
our real family, and they knew all this, and they
knew all the guy was coming around seeing the baby
and all this kind of stuff.

Speaker 2 (08:53):
What's the reasoning of why she didn't just tell you
right off the bat? Was that other man in a
relationship with somebody else and.

Speaker 5 (09:02):
No, man, he was there, he was seeing her and
seeing the baby.

Speaker 1 (09:06):
And also she just didn't want to lose you as a.

Speaker 5 (09:09):
As a right exactly exactly, and he was she was
getting child support from him.

Speaker 1 (09:15):
Wow, that's crazy. At the time.

Speaker 2 (09:18):
Man, The thing I feel for is the innocent victim,
which is the child in this case, because and you
know it's two years old. You think, okay, well, I
don't remember anything from when I was two years old.
But it's just so tough that that the love and
support that you pour out during this entire time, and
then you sit there and you go, man, I got
to take this baby out of it about my life.

Speaker 5 (09:39):
She acts about me because I'm on the birth certificate.

Speaker 1 (09:42):
Wow.

Speaker 5 (09:42):
And she said, who's who's this guy my birth certificate?
She told her the whole story. I guess her side
of the story.

Speaker 1 (09:49):
Why why have you not been taking off the birth certificate.

Speaker 5 (09:54):
In state of Texas? When you put your name on
the birth certificate, you are the father. I mean, it's
a strange down there.

Speaker 3 (10:01):
Really. That doesn't make sense to me.

Speaker 1 (10:03):
That's wild.

Speaker 2 (10:05):
Even if you were to say, hey, I'm I'm not
and I'm signing off and that this other guy says
I am the father.

Speaker 1 (10:10):
I forget. That would be tough, you know that.

Speaker 5 (10:12):
But he does.

Speaker 1 (10:14):
I think about him too.

Speaker 2 (10:15):
I think it's sad for him, the the the biological father,
that he doesn't get to be able to be on
a birth certificate, even though it's just a piece of paper.
But thank you for the call, buddy, I appreciate it.
Thanks and thanks for contacting us after after hearing Cavs story.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
And I'm praying for your healing.

Speaker 5 (10:32):
Bro.

Speaker 1 (10:34):
Ricky, what's up, Ricky?

Speaker 5 (10:36):
How's it going on?

Speaker 7 (10:37):
More Joe and the Crew. I agree with the first
call on the last statement he made. Once she signed
your name on the birth certificate, you got to pay
child's appoint well, no matter if dad he had not.
But anyway, my story was before I met my wife.
I'll be married thirty years, thank god. But before I
met my wife, I was with a young lady. She

(10:57):
got pregnant, so I'm thinking of child.

Speaker 1 (10:59):
Is is mind?

Speaker 7 (11:00):
Blah blah blah? So years ago by it, you know,
I see I was seeing the daughter. But my wife,
my mother in law, when I first brought the daughter over,
she was like, Tyer, that's not Ricky baby. And I
was kind offended by it, you know, but you know,
life goes on. So when it came down to it,
eleven years later, we took a flood test. I was

(11:22):
not the father. Me and my wife went down there
and and the mama said, of the child.

Speaker 5 (11:28):
Let's take another because she had McDonald's.

Speaker 1 (11:30):
I'm like what McDonald's.

Speaker 7 (11:34):
Yeah, I'm like what. But you know, it was sad
because you know I love the girl and make make
it so bad more Joe. She was then intern on
your show.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Oh wait, hold on, don't you tell me off the air.

Speaker 5 (11:47):
Let me ask you this question.

Speaker 4 (11:48):
I'm not saying, by the way, I'm not the father, Ricky,
why did it take eleven years to do the blood test?

Speaker 7 (11:57):
Because you know, some women get mad when they want
you to do something for the child when you don't
do it, when they want to say, they want to
start taking you down for child supporting all. That's how
I went down for it and the lady at the
court say, look, they say you owe twenty thousand. I
was like, what, I take care of her. She said, well,
sign up, maybe the mama won't show up. But she

(12:17):
don't show up, we throw it out. So three months
ago was by get a letter and said they dismissed
it because she never showed up. She cust them out.

Speaker 5 (12:24):
She went off on them.

Speaker 7 (12:25):
So now the mom moved to Wayne, so she had
to go down to friends at court again, friends of
the court. So that's where we end up going on
there doing it all over again because I'm like, I'm
not paying twenty grand and I take care of this
young lady.

Speaker 1 (12:37):
You know, do you call her your daughter?

Speaker 7 (12:42):
Yes, I still do, but it's just I don't see
it like that.

Speaker 5 (12:45):
I've seen him last year.

Speaker 2 (12:47):
But can I say something, Ricky, Ricky, I'm gonna tell
you this, and I can't listen.

Speaker 1 (12:52):
I don't know your I don't walk in your shoes.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Many people adopt children, and they are greater parents to
a child than any biological parent can be. And I
know that, and I know the heartbreak of of what happened,
and you can't go back. But I just sit there
and I think to myself, eleven years of your life.
Don't let the child be the one that suffers because
the mother was the one that screwed this up.

Speaker 7 (13:17):
No, that's true. And I had to talk with her
Mojo and the mom, but I told the mom, don't
tell her until we together, but she told her anyway.

Speaker 1 (13:24):
Yeah, she's well, she's selfish.

Speaker 7 (13:25):
So but it brought a lot of pain into my mind.

Speaker 1 (13:29):
I can't only imagine. I can't you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 7 (13:32):
So my relative has never apologized to my wife because
and think about it, the young she still had my
last name. When I see I call her my baby,
my daughter. Now she still call her her sister. At
the end of the day, man wife comes first.

Speaker 2 (13:47):
Yeah, I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that.
I cannot imagine what you have gone through and I
cannot imagine that that you know anythink in the back
of your head you're thinking yourself, you know, I got
I'm not and I'm not even this is I've been
living this live right.

Speaker 7 (14:03):
But you know what, Mojoe, whenever she see me in
my family, She's seen us at the reunion last year
and she cried. She came over to us. She was
just crying and my daughter mother daughter us like, Dad,
what's wrong with blah blah blah. And she was like,
I say, well, you know, it's it's a lot on her.

Speaker 5 (14:17):
Yeah, well see you.

Speaker 7 (14:18):
She just cried because she wanted to. You know, it's
just a longts.

Speaker 2 (14:22):
He let Lydia know exactly who who she was, because
if I I listen, I'd love to just keep in
contact with some of our past interns.

Speaker 1 (14:30):
And I hope that she's doing well.

Speaker 5 (14:32):
Thank you, she's doing good. She's doing good.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Thank you, Thank you by it. I appreciate that. Wow,
there's so many of these stories. Hold on a second here,
David's going through it right now. David, are you there?

Speaker 5 (14:44):
Yeah, I'm here.

Speaker 2 (14:45):
So this sounds kind of familiar. You're hearing this stories, huh.

Speaker 6 (14:49):
Yes, And it seems because I'm one of the survivors
of that myself. My father had left when I was
six months old and went to Houston, Texas, and I've
never seen him.

Speaker 1 (15:03):
I couldn't tell you what he looks like, you.

Speaker 6 (15:06):
Know, So I kind of feel the pain that these
kids are going through, that they're in this situation, and
I'm in that situation. My baby mom had messed around
and got pregnant, and I found out that he wasn't
mine in the delivery room. And I'm still taking care

(15:28):
of the boy today because, like I tell everybody, it's
not the child's fault that the mother did what she did,
so I can't turn my back on him.

Speaker 1 (15:37):
Because of her. Do you call him your son?

Speaker 5 (15:40):
Yes?

Speaker 7 (15:40):
I do every day.

Speaker 6 (15:41):
Yeah, And I tell him and I tell him I
loving more than the stars every day.

Speaker 2 (15:44):
Do you find yourself doing that because of what you
didn't have from the circumstances of you being a child, Yes.

Speaker 6 (15:51):
I think that had that has a lot to play
with it, because I've been through that situation and I
didn't have my father there, and so I kind of
know what he's going through, you know, so I kind
of try to step up and be that so he
doesn't have that feeling in his life.

Speaker 1 (16:08):
How old is your son now?

Speaker 6 (16:10):
He just turned ten on the twelfth.

Speaker 1 (16:12):
Wow. And it's amazing. And he looks at you, he
calls you dad.

Speaker 5 (16:16):
Yes, he does every day.

Speaker 6 (16:17):
He's at the house right now waiting for me to
get back to uh take him to school. I'm dropping
my high schooler off right now at Bows or high school.

Speaker 1 (16:25):
Wow. Well, listen, buddy.

Speaker 2 (16:28):
You know, everybody's stories are so honestly, there's they're so heartbreaking.
It's nice to know that there are situations where, you know,
the situations turn out okay. And it sounds to me
like out of these three stories here, you know, there's
the heartbreak for the guy that's in the in the circumstances.

Speaker 1 (16:51):
You know, I don't know why it happens.

Speaker 2 (16:52):
I mean, sometimes it just happens and you just don't
You don't necessarily think that it's going to be that way.
You don't know, I mean case, and you don't figure
it out until until later. But at least the beauty
that comes out of this is a gorgeous child. Right,
So how are you feeling a day after that? I'm
I'm goody put the music under it. That was a

(17:13):
nice touch, that was.

Speaker 4 (17:15):
But I will say this though, because there I can
hear the pain in every single one of these callers
and in everybody who doesn't have the opportunity to get
through because you know so show we only got a
start abound of time.

Speaker 1 (17:26):
You got to move on to certain things.

Speaker 4 (17:27):
But healing is the ultimate goal in these situations, and
the absence of pain isn't the presence of healing. And
I think sometimes when we try to alleviate ourselves of pain,
the goal is for our heart to hurt less. But

(17:47):
if we aren't intentional with how we heal, not only
will our heart hurt less, it'll it won't it'll work less.
And that's what you don't want. You don't want your
heart to work less. You don't want to stop loving,
You don't want to stop finding opportunities to be loved
and think that your future has to be connected to
the pain of your past. You want to heal intentionally
and properly, so not only do you hurt less, but

(18:08):
your heart still works at a pace that is able
to receive and give love.

Speaker 1 (18:15):
Do you want more kids? For sure? I still want
I got I still got twins in the sack.

Speaker 3 (18:23):
You want in your family or do you want to get my.

Speaker 1 (18:25):
Literal say you want at least two more. I want twins.
That's the goal.

Speaker 2 (18:29):
I feel like I'm gonna get them straight.

Speaker 1 (18:34):
I can't say it was all right. It's mojo in
the morning.