Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
It's Mojo in the morning show, I start off this
break with Shannon, and Shannon is sick of being the doormat.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Well, this is something that I know about myself, and
that is that I am a people pleaser the to
a t.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
To the definition of it.
Speaker 2 (00:20):
I actually say I'm a recovering people pleaser because I'm
trying very hard to have better boundaries and not care
so much about what people think about me or if
people like me. But that is a very, very hard
thing that I have struggled with my whole entire life.
Speaker 4 (00:37):
And I.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
Have done it to myself in terms of making my
life harder by not putting my foot down in certain
situations and with certain people. And I feel like lately
it has caught up to me to a point where
I'm like, Okay, I have to take a step back
and work on this, Like this is something that I've
been working on with my therapist, with myself. But it's
(01:00):
so interesting to me because now that I am like
putting my foot down and having better boundaries and saying no,
we're telling people you know what I really think about something,
I feel like I'm coming off like a huge batch
and people are so taken aback by the.
Speaker 3 (01:19):
Change in me and people meaning like the friends.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Family, friends, people here at the radio station. Where normally
I feel like I will go above and beyond, I
will bend over backwards. I will, you know, say no
to a lot of things personally to say yes to
other people. And I just have gotten to a point
where I can't do it any I can't do it anymore.
(01:46):
It's killing me and it's having some really bad effects
on my mental health and my life. And so I'm like, okay,
you know, moving forward. I joked about this a week
or two ago and I said, I'm in my zero
I give zero fs. But this is really me saying
like I have to stop being a doormat for so
many people, because that's exactly the way I feel.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
What has made you change? What is it or what
is it that woke you up that you need to change.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
A lot of things, A lot of things having to
do with my kids, a lot of things having to
do with my time, and just realizing like I can't,
I can't do it anymore.
Speaker 3 (02:29):
Yeah, so boiling point your wits in? Have you been?
You know?
Speaker 1 (02:37):
And I know that that this has been going on
for a long time with you because of you and
I both shared that I feel like I'm also sometimes
you please other people all the time, and you.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
Want people to like you.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You want to be like you want to be nice,
you want I truly want to do things, you know,
in a lot of situations for people, and I want
to be flexible. But it just it's it's having some
negative effects for me.
Speaker 3 (03:02):
Now.
Speaker 1 (03:03):
Who bore the brunt of the first part of you
not being the doormat or in the not giving an f.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
Stage, Well, my husband always, but my ex husband too.
Speaker 3 (03:16):
Yeah yeah, where you just kind of said this is
enough is enough?
Speaker 1 (03:19):
Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. Good for you, by the way.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
And it's making me feel like not nice, but I
am uncomfortable.
Speaker 3 (03:29):
I like Mojo.
Speaker 2 (03:30):
You and I talked about this, like, I know I
did this to myself where I have a pattern of
being this way and you know what else is crazy
too And this really opened my eyes is I see
this quality in my daughter Lucy, and I do not
want that for her. I want her to be kind,
(03:51):
but I also want her to have very firm boundaries.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Yeah that you know, it's it is interesting when you
start seeing it in your kids and you go, this
is generational, this is and you're passing it down. Getting
older is actually good. I know sometimes people don't want
to get older. I mean obviously, you know, we shoot
ourselves with botox or whatever we possibly can, but get
when you get older, you kind of realize a little
(04:16):
bit of you know what. You look back on your
life and you're like, I don't want to do that anymore. Yeah,
because I think you start seeing things where it's like,
especially with your kids grow older and they get older,
like you're having less time with them than you ever had,
and you're like, you're being a pleaser, is taking away
(04:37):
from the people that you should be pleasing.
Speaker 4 (04:40):
I think also as you start to get older, you
start realizing or you start asking yourself the question who
am I living my life for? Because what's happening is
I'm sacrificing my truth, my happiness, and ultimately my reality
because I'm not living a real life. I'm living a
faker version of myself, trying to make sure that everybody
else is. It's like building a house of cards, like
(05:02):
it's a structure, but at any moment it can fall
because it's not being built on anything substantial infirm.
Speaker 2 (05:08):
It just feels very foreign to me.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
Yes, it does.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
And I keep saying to Lydia because I love like
Lydia to me has the greatest person.
Speaker 3 (05:17):
I feel like she wasn't always like that though, No, Lydia,
help me, help me do that. Wasn't even like that, No, Lydia.
Speaker 1 (05:28):
When you first started here at the station, you were
everything yes, and you had to start saying no.
Speaker 3 (05:33):
Yeah, well you were.
Speaker 5 (05:34):
The one who told me that you're like, this is
how my former producers have been and they put their
foot down and I was never that person.
Speaker 3 (05:41):
I let people walk all over me now. Absolutely not Nope.
Do you think it's major life easier, Lydia.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
Absolutely because people know that there's boundaries they can't cross
with me.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
I wonder what it is from our childhood, Like I
was thinking about this with Shannon and you know myself,
Lydia and stuff. There had to be something, you know,
there had to be something with your maybe your parents
getting divorced or.
Speaker 3 (06:02):
Something like that. You always felt like you wanted to
make everything.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
Happy and want everybody to like me, ye to being
the quote unquote nice one all the time.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And it's like and you analyze that and then you
look at your kids and then you say, you know
you're talking about with Lucy, which I'm going to tell
you something good for you and recognizing that because sometimes
you don't recognize that your kids are being you and
not taking your your good things but taking some of
your bad things to and you realize it and you're like,
(06:29):
you don't want enough, man, I don't want them to
go through what you have gone through.
Speaker 3 (06:34):
You know you have to be the change.
Speaker 1 (06:36):
Yeah, absolutely, And and you do not want them to
be taken advantage of, like you've gotten taken advantage of Katrina.
What's happening? Shannon is no longer the doormat Good.
Speaker 6 (06:50):
Morning, Shannon Mojo in the morning, Hi, I just wanted
to tell Hi, Hunt, I wanted to tell you, honestly, girls,
do what I did. Stop doing things for people, and
you will see them walk out that door because you
don't need to see go out in your life. Those
are the people that wanted you just for what you
gave them and offered them interesting because they loved you interesting.
Speaker 3 (07:09):
The true people that love you will stay.
Speaker 7 (07:12):
Huh Mojo.
Speaker 6 (07:13):
That was my content on TikTok. I started making videos.
I have over one hundred thousand followers because of what
I stay and do because I don't let anybody talk
down to me anymore, or me or my son, Like
I have a son with autism, and that's exactly what
I started doing. I started doing stop doing things for people.
And you should see how people start like reacting towards you.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
What's your TikTok? You want to shout it out?
Speaker 5 (07:34):
Uh?
Speaker 6 (07:34):
Sure, Katrina Official.
Speaker 3 (07:36):
It's all about my son, all right, Katrina Official?
Speaker 1 (07:39):
And do you find your Do you find yourself having
more time for your son now?
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Because of that?
Speaker 6 (07:46):
Oh? Because you know what, the people who only show
up for the people that I don't need to ask anymore,
and and those are the people that I need in
my life.
Speaker 1 (07:55):
I kind of like the idea that when you finally
start sticking up for yourself, the people that were only
there for the the you know, the the good stuff
they got from for themselves will end up leaving you.
Speaker 3 (08:06):
Yeah, it's funny the other people.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
I feel like this, when you start standing up for yourself,
the other people show more respect for you.
Speaker 3 (08:13):
I really hope that's what's gonna come from.
Speaker 1 (08:16):
I will say this, My wife is somebody that I
literally aspire to be.
Speaker 3 (08:21):
I really do.
Speaker 1 (08:22):
She's she's amazing, and I will say that she's I
think she's more attracted to me when I put my
foot down on stuff because she knows that she's going
to get the best of me and that the scraps.
Speaker 3 (08:31):
What's up, Amanda?
Speaker 8 (08:34):
Bye Shannon. Don't you dare ever feel bad for protecting
yourself and protecting your peace. In the long run, it
is going to help you so much. I had to
learn this about myself as well. I even put myself
in credit card debt just to help someone and didn't
realize that they were taking advantage. And it was when
(08:56):
I went through my divorce that I realized I had
boundaries and who I was. And ever since I put
my foot down people, I actually have more respect from people.
And just like the last caller said, those people who
were taking advantage have disappeared, and it was because they
were only using me for what they needed. And ever
(09:18):
since I've done that, things have gotten so much easier,
and I've been able to teach my kids do not
let people take advantage of you and walk all over you,
because that's when you're going to find those nasty people
in the world that don't need your time and energy,
and you don't ever need to feel bad.
Speaker 5 (09:34):
For that ever.
Speaker 3 (09:36):
Good job, Amanda.
Speaker 8 (09:40):
It's an amazing thing to figure out in life ahead.
Speaker 7 (09:43):
I put myself and I'm telling you, and I put myself.
Speaker 8 (09:47):
In credit card debt just as a family member. And
ever since I stopped helping them and enabling their bad habits,
actually my relationship has grown with that person.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
That is incredible. Kelly, what's up? It's Mojoe in the morning.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
Hi Kelly, good morning, How are you good? What's going on?
Speaker 7 (10:08):
I was just calling in to say, like, growth doesn't
happen in your comfort zone, and if something makes you
feel uncomfortable, that just it means you're growing. And it's
not it's weird, but it's it's true. It's happened to me.
I can't really give specifics right now, but yeah, yeah,
just growth doesn't happen in your comfort zone. So way
(10:31):
to go putting your foot down on say no to stuff,
because I've had to do that too. I'm a people
pleaser and I like to do all the things, but
when you sit down and think about it's all those
things costs and and then you feel bad to say
no to people. But you have to you have to
do it for your own peace.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
My wife always says, when you when you say yes
to others, you're saying no to the people.
Speaker 3 (10:55):
That truly love you.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
And it wasn't even about It's not necessarily only about
saying yes or no to say It's also about, you know,
saying that I'm okay with something, and then after I
say it going good really, you know, knowing that that
was not what I actually wanted to say. And so
that's where I'm like, I just need to like actually
(11:16):
say what I'm thinking and feeling instead of just trying
to be quote unquote cool about it.
Speaker 4 (11:21):
I read somewhere once and they said, value your relationships,
but don't ignore your values to keep them. And that's
that boundary situation. Like, as long as you can look
in the mirror and be comfortable with who you are,
that's the most important thing. But once you start changing
who you are in order to save quote unquote the
relationship you think is worthy to be saved, then that's
(11:44):
where it becomes a problem.
Speaker 1 (11:45):
I want to end on Kathy because I think Kathy's
pretty emotional about this whole thing.
Speaker 3 (11:51):
This made you tear up hearing this Kathy, Oh, yeah, Hi,
what's going on? Kathy?
Speaker 5 (11:57):
I Shaanon, I've met you a few times.
Speaker 3 (12:01):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (12:02):
I as soon as I heard this, it's like, yes,
this needs to be talked about more. I turned sixty
this year in May, and I saw I listened every
single day for years now, and I've seen so much
of me, you and I not like we're the same,
but when I was I'm sixty now, when I was
(12:23):
your age, a lot of things you've been going through
in your life with a new marriage, with an act,
the family, the children, everything and everything, I'm like, oh
my god, I see a lot like we're very similar.
So the point to last year, leading up to my
sixtieth birthday, I just really got the point. I'm a
(12:46):
people pleaser, I have my whole life, and I really
made a choice, a conscious choice to I don't even
know what the words would how it happened, but I
really just had to not feel guilty about it. That's
what I would say to you. You can't feel guilty
(13:09):
about it.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
And it took you to get easier, it took you
to sixty. Shannon's doing Shannon's doing this now.
Speaker 5 (13:16):
That's amazing. Yeah, that's that's another thing positive, Shannon, I could.
It's something that is calling. It's great for you. Sorry,
I'm just I am a little emotional, but I'm walking
aroun because I was getting nervous. I've talked to you
a couple of times. I see that. So when you
said that, it brought me to tears. That yay, Shannon.
Speaker 1 (13:39):
Yeah that is cool. That's a really awesome Kathy. And
you know what, Kathy, is never too late. Right now
a fact. Now now you've got the rest of your life.
Speaker 5 (13:53):
Oh, it's so much nicer. And yeah, it's just it
takes practice and being not allowing another people get used
to it.
Speaker 3 (14:05):
We need we need to practice.
Speaker 1 (14:07):
No no no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no.
Speaker 3 (14:11):
No no no no no no no no no no
no no no no no no no no no no.
We gotta we gotta record. Come on, Catherine, no no, no, no.
Speaker 5 (14:24):
No no.
Speaker 3 (14:28):
I love you. Bye.