May 1, 2024 • 52 mins
On this weeks episode of the Slightly Messy Show Mike and Meaghan can not stay on topic to save their lives. They talk about the trending TikTok topic of if you were alone in the woods would you want to be with a bear or a man, conspiracy theories and if the government is trying to warn us, how Meaghan's neighbors can hear her singing in the shower, the teachers we were in love with and wanted to date, public fights we have witnessed, books about sex, AND how Meaghan's tone changes when she doesn't want to do something.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Give me a level real fast,Michael, check check sibilants, sibilants,
sibilants, sibil sibilance a word oris that just something that people say?
Noun a hissing quality of sound orthe hissing sound itself. Oh, sibilants,
Oh yeah, sibilants. I'm gonnaask another question that might be worth
(00:23):
a google. What's it called whena word makes the sound that it putn't
or that it How am I kindaword like when you say the word it
also makes this sounds on amount ofpa that's right, crash bark, bark,
bark, drizzle, clang, clink, boom, splash, bang buzz.
(00:49):
Was that really in there a problem? Michael, and I am so
sorry that you face part of it. There is one joy of being single
with no kids, and it's Ihave no real responsibilities. Go. This
is the slightly Messy Show with Mikeand Meghan. State means a messy show,
(01:14):
messy, messy, Mic and Megan, It's a slightly messy show with
Mike and Megan man ready and club. At this point, I don't even
want to change it. I justwant to keep it. I just want
to make it more intense now,so that every time it is a slightly
(01:42):
messy show with Mike and Megan freshoff a weekend where I've probably seen you
more in forty eight hours seventy twohours? Wait, how many? How
many hours? Seven is three days? Seventy two? Yeah, yeah,
in math more in many two hoursthat I'm seeing you and probably a long
(02:04):
time, a long time. Wesaw each other a lot, and the
and that was three days and itwas great. I'm glad. I thought
you were gonna say it was miserable. That's what I would have said.
No, No, I didn't saywhat you just said. When I said,
hey, I loved hanging out.Maybe there's something we could talk about
with with the uh with us hangingout that on that Friday, and you
said, now it was kind ofboring. That is now when I said
you lie, I said, Imean this in the nicest way. I
(02:27):
know. It was so normal.It was like usually when we're together,
because it's so rare something like interestinghappens, It's like that never happens.
Right, This was just so normal. It was one hundred percent normal.
Because I think at that point,if if you wonder what we're talking about
last weekend was the Draft. Youand I had a chance after the show
on Friday to kind of run around, and I got to hang out your
(02:47):
place for a little bit do somework, which was great, and you're
in like the heart of everything.So then we just walked around and checked
out the NFL experience, ran intoa lot of listeners. Oh my god,
that was really really cool. Gotto run around and do a bunch
of other stuff which was fun,and kind of check out some of the
behind the scenes stuff, and alsoto run around and check out the draft
(03:10):
experience. But like, we wereso exhausted at that point. We had
hit a level of like, we'vebeen doing this for forty eight hours.
You're downtown, you're in the thickof it. I don't know if you're
going back and forth from your houseto the station. Yeah, so,
like I don't even want to say. It was maybe four o'clock, maybe
(03:30):
five o'clock. I don't know ifwe've made it to five o'clock the Early
Bird Special. We were like,all right, well, I think I'm
gonna head back to my place andmy friend. We ran into my buddy.
He come, He's like hyping meup. He's like, you gotta
stay the night, you got tocome out for drinks, and you're like
we both had had a drink andyou're like, yeah, yeah, that
(03:50):
sounds fun. I'm like, okay, I guess yeah, let's do that.
And then we like round the cornerand he walks away and says hi
to somebody and go, yeah,I'm not doing that. Like within thirty
seconds, I was like, there'sabsolutely no way I'm going out tonight.
I need you to make your plansbased on that information. If you decide
to go out tonight, know thatI will be saying that I'm going to
the bathroom and I'm sneaking away thatI'm I fully under god, I'm glad.
(04:15):
At first, I'm glad you saidsomething, but also I think I
was. I was in that moment, I was like, yeah, that
does sound fun. And as wekept walking and as we stood in the
heat and as we kind of justhung out, and realizing that I had
done the same, the same exactthing for the last those two days.
I was basically waiting a lot toget into certain areas. I was like
done, Like my body was tired, I was exhausted. I wanted to
(04:40):
get home and see my family.At that point, I just went on,
I'm gonna go home too. Ididn't want it, because otherwise I
would have been sitting there for anotherfive hours before he's even done and then
going out right. It just didn'tmake sense. And I don't know if
this is the case for you,Mike, but Fridays are my least favorite
days to go out, Like Iwould rather go out on a Wednesday night
a Friday night, because I thinkjust not sleeping throughout the week and having
(05:03):
this super weird schedule that we do. What time do you wake up for
the show? Uh? Four,bastard? Why I'm just kidding. Why
do you get up earlier on daysthat I don't fill in for Shannon?
I get up at three thirty inthe morning. Yeah, that's middle of
the night. Still. Yeah,I realize it's a half an hour,
(05:24):
but it's middle of the night.Still, three anything is middle of the
night. So by the time Fridayrolls around and I'm not going to bed
until ten eleven at night, andI'm getting up at three thirty every day,
like, I can't stay up pastnine pm on a Friday, I
can't. Oh really, what aboutduring the week? What time to go
to bed ten eleven. So onnights where you have to get up early,
(05:47):
you actually go to sleep later thanon nights where you could sleep in
the next day. Correct. Absolutely, I didn't say it made sense.
I said it was my life.We should all know that those things do
not go hand in hand. Soyeah, I think with our schedule just
I love going on on Saturdays.Saturdays are my favorite. I can sleep
in Saturday morning like have like thatslow rollout day. There's nothing better than
(06:08):
Saturdays are usually like my hair washedday too, so like I feel like
I look good, I'm put together, my apartments clean, like I'm ready
to go do something. I don'tfeel stressed out. It's way more fun
than Fridays, where it's just likeit's not. When I'm tired, I
become a raging bitch, like Ican't help it. I really can't.
I have no fuse my I alreadydon't have a poker face, and then
(06:31):
when you make me tired, it'sjust it's there and you can see it,
and nobody wants to be around Iknow. I know myself, and
so I just don't want to ruinother people's fridays being around I didn't.
I so I understand what you're saying. I didn't get that from you,
Like that vibe wasn't there. Yeah, yeah, I could tell when you
told me you weren't coming like thesecond because you're your whole Your whole tone
(06:56):
does change your whole tone, andmaybe you hit a level of like just
being done. And again I getit because I understand the schedule. But
it went from like I got ablood light in my hand, we're having
a great time, Yeah, Mike, Actually you were telling me for my
wife, who will listen or watchthis. At some point you were telling
me I'm not giving or I'm notsaying yes or no Mike if you should
stay because uh, I like yourwife so so I'm not gonna tell you
(07:21):
yes or no, which she wouldabsolutely love that you did that. I
forgot to tell her that, butshe but your your tone after like,
yeah, let's you know this soundsfun. We got a beer in a
hand, We have a good time. When you threw your beer away right
before you said it, and itmight have been gone, but you threw
it away, and you're like,just to let you know, I'm absolutely
not doing that for Oh okay,all right, I want you to do.
(07:46):
That was me telling you we areclose friends because if we were just
like friendly work people and I don'tsee that often, I would be like,
pull your shit together and go out. And here's the other thing.
When you and I go out andwe have gone out drinking before, we've
had those crazy nights. They arethe best. I think you and I
have so much fun when we goout, like it's the best in the
(08:07):
entire world. But like literally myfriendship was I'm gonna act cool in front
of your friend, but just knowas soon as he's out of your shot,
absolutely I love you. The secondwe were added the people he knew,
and he was like he stepped awayout of like almost the box the
(08:28):
area, just so you know,I'm absolutely not doing okay. I also
was like, you could go outwith him, like you could go have
fun, don't judgement you go youwant to party tonight, you go party,
but just no do that The factorme in that equation right right,
(08:48):
And and I my thing is isI was I was in the same boat.
Is like I was tired, Iwas exhausted. But for some reason,
if it's like one other person andI know it's gonna be way later
because we got to wait for him. I'm like, ah, I might
as well just call it in fora night. But if you had another
person on there, and you're like, oh, well that's three people,
(09:09):
Oh okay, well maybe I canguy math it and figure out a way
to tell my what I think.I had mapped it out where I wasn't
gonna see him til the next morninganyways, so that I was just gonna
come back. I was gonna stayanother night and then go the next morning
because at that point, uh,he was finding me a place to uh,
he was planing to me a placeto stay. You were like,
(09:31):
oh, you can sleep on thecouch if you want, and then that
instantly turned into I'm one hundred percentnot doing that. There is no way
boy mash and I was yeah.I was like, nah, you're right,
you're right, because at that pointI don't really need to I need
to go home. It was alsoone of those things where it was like,
if you're going to stay at myapartment, you're more than welcome.
We're calling Allen and getting permission.Yeah, that's fair if you're going to
(09:56):
stay. If your logic made sensein the fact that you were like,
I promise the kids that I wouldbe there when they woke up. I'm
not going to be there before theygo to bed, So like, what's
the difference if I leave at fiveo'clock in the morning versus you know,
five o'clock in the afternoon. Eitherway, I'm not going to see them
till the morning. Not bringing apromise. Your logic was solid, but
it was also if you don't comehome tonight because you went out with me,
(10:18):
and I obviously love an adore yourwife. I'm like, yes,
that is not gonna be my fault. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
And it's also that and I'm sureyou have friends like this. He's also
that buddy like I don't see asoften as i'd like to. He travels
a lot, but like when weget together and we go out, it's
gonna be a long night. SoI might not have made it that next
morning. So it's a good overall, it was the best decision. I
(10:39):
looked that you're acting like I mightnot have made you and I both know
you wouldn't have even gotten back tothe hotel room until five o'clock. You
wouldn't have been able to drive untilthree o'clock in the afternoon the next day.
That is a fact, That isone hundred percent, because then I
would have tried to justify, well, I'm already at the draft, I
might as well do draft things,you know what I mean. You would
have gone to the casino and allthe bars closed, to be honest.
(11:03):
Yeah, that's true. You're true. You're right. It's also really funny
to me that I moved into downtownDetroit in October November ish, and it
was right as the weather was changing. Like I moved and it was cold
outside. It started snowing a fewweeks later, and like the city kind
of dies down in the wintertime.Yeah. And it's so funny because for
months I've just been saying, thisplace is gonna be amazing when it's packed.
(11:26):
I can't wait for summer. Ican't wait for all the activity.
It's like, I can't wait towalk everywhere. It's gonna be so great.
It's gonna be so great. Andthen the draft happened in downtown Detroit
last weekend, and there were amillion people that went to the draft,
literally a million people. Yeah,And all I kept thinking was, there's
too many, goddamn people. Getout of here? Where did my quiet
city go? I it's so loudand I hate all of you. And
(11:48):
I'm just kidding. It was sogreat, but it was. It was
funny to go from zero to onehundred, like it was a very quiet
city too, Like, wow,that's a lot of people overnight. Is
it back to normal? It's backto like it's busy, Like it's back
to people are on motorcycles, peopleare blaring music, there's people walking around
people, you know, outside ofall the restaurants around me, they opened
(12:09):
up all their patio seatings, solike it's louder. But the draft was
it was just insanity. Yeah,insanity, And I wish we had it
every year because it was so muchfun. It was a lot of fun.
And I think they're gonna have theNBA They're talking about having the NBA
All Star Game there, which wouldbe kind of same level. I think.
(12:31):
Do you think it would draw onthe same people. No, No,
I think it would draw in alot though, because it's all the
All Stars, like it's every singlelike really really good basketball players. I
think it might draw a lot ofpeople. I don't know if it's gonna
be the level of the draft.They did it right, they did one
hundred percent of Detroit did it likeperfect. Couldn't have gone any better.
I just want more events to comebecause I spread, to God, this
(12:52):
is so selfish in me. Theyripped up literally every sidewalk that had a
microscopic cra and like fixed everything.So I was like, yeah, we
should do this stuff all the time. And the city's great. I'm not
like shitting on the city, no, but every little blemish was touched up,
and I was like beautiful, Yeah, yeah, that is a good
(13:15):
point. And because it probably broughta lot of money too, a shit
a ton of money. Well,when we had one home playoff game,
they said it brought in like twentyfour million dollars for a game. I
can't imagine what a three day drafted. Love to see it. The only
thing that broke my heart is Ifound out that there was a raising Kine's
(13:35):
truck food truck downtown and I didnot see it or go to it.
So I'm very heartbroken that Canes wasin the city and I didn't get any
I heard at one point that theyran out of food, that they ran
out of food and they had toget either get food for I don't know
if it was raising canes or likethe city of Detroit. I'll have to
look that up. But like therestaurants and stuff ran out of food,
so they had to go to likeCanada and get food and send it over.
(13:58):
I would have walked up to theraisin canes truck like a baby bird
with my mouth open and said,just put the sauce in my mouth.
I don't need the chicken, Idon't need the toast, I don't need
the fries. Give me the goddamnsauce right now. So I ended up
going home that night and my Istarted binge watching like TV with my wife.
I fell asleep like an old man, like a little old man.
(14:20):
Who what is that? I'm rebootingmy computer. If my computer locks after
like fifteen seconds, it drives menuts. Oh jeez. And so I
go to watch TV with her andwe start watching. I meant to look
it up before we started. It'scalled like Three Bodies or something like that.
I think that's what it's called.Yes, that's exactly okay. So
basically it's about aliens and all thisother stuff that I really can't dive into
(14:45):
because it's a long explanation, andit is something that my wife is very,
very into, to the point whereI think that you're going to be
super about this because I know you'rea conspiracy theory person she has. It's
now fallen into a side of maybeit's TikTok. Maybe it's just thought process
that every show like this, BlackMirrors, the Three Bodies or whatever,
(15:09):
shows like this is the government tellingus what's actually happening, but they're telling
us in a way that we thinkit's entertainment so that legally, someday they
can say, well, we toldyou, we put it right in front
of your face, right, sothat legally or not legally. But like,
as a society, we're so usedto it, or almost desensitized to
(15:31):
all this stuff that when it actuallydoes happen, when we do see it
in real life, that we're goingto think it's it's not that big of
a deal, so we don't allfreak out. She's absolutely correct, correct,
But I have a question. Didshe ever watch the Truman Show?
(15:52):
I did. I don't know ifshe did, but I did. Were
you one of those people that watchedthe Truman Show and thought this is a
warning? Yes, like looking aroundand then people come up to you and
say stuff to you, and you'relike, are you a commercial? Am
I being filmed right now? Somy brother and I are obviously very close.
The Truman Show fucked with my brotherin a way that like, I
(16:14):
think did serious damage to a psyche. Do you think so? Oh?
Absolutely, To this day, we'renot allowed to mention the movie. You're
like, really, you cannot bringit up. It freaks him out because
he was so in the position ofbeing like that was a warning sign to
me that that is my life.And he and I sat down and had
like a four hour conversation. Wewere definitely drunk. Four hour conversation once
(16:37):
about how we would tell the otherperson, or would we tell the other
person, or why they wouldn't tellus if we were truly in the Truman
Show, like we broke it downand eight million different face hits to be
like the Truman Show is real,it is about me. You wouldn't tell
me because you are the most,Like you have to be the highest paid
actor on the show. Yeah,because you're in my life the most,
(17:00):
So of course you want to keepthe secret the most because you need the
butt. Like it broke down intoeight million different parts and it was hysterical,
but it kind of goes hand inhand with what you were saying with
Ali. With the whole it's awarning. So, alright, is this
the Truman Show? Am I beingmy being watched? Right? You wouldn't
tell me because you were, asof right now in this very moment,
(17:22):
in this scene, you are theclosest. So let me tell you.
Bink twice when I realized The TrumanShow wouldn't be about me and that I
this can't be real because I wouldn'tbe the main character was, and then
if I wasn't, then I wouldknow about it. Um. I think
that I would be such bad twentyfour seven three sixty five programming with the
(17:48):
absolute bounts of depression that nobody addressed, and just just like good maybe for
like a week, and then youwould go, somebody needs to help her
and nobody, So either all peopleare really terrible or it's not real.
And also, how truly, Ithink a lot of people and I'm talking
(18:10):
for myself on this one, butI think because of our jobs, people
think we have these like very exciting, like fun filled lives, and I
truly have an incredibly boring life.I just know how to talk about boring
things in an interesting way where nobodywould watch it. You would listen to
hear me make jokes about something.But if it was truly twenty four seven
(18:32):
three sixty five. Yeah, ButI mean, if you're in the Truman
Show, there's commercials, right,Oh, I guess it was there wasn't
They never went away? And solike if you were being watched right now,
that would would be like Hulu andso for like a minute and thirty
seconds it would go away and thenit would come back and then but it
wouldn't be so those things that theythink are boring that people watching us wouldn't
(18:55):
actually see. They would just seea Hulu ad. What is the number
one most marketed product in the world? Ooh, marketed product? This is
so easy. You're overthinking it.I am overthinking it. Why am I
over food? No? It's adrink drink oka beer? No alcohol?
(19:15):
No? What is it? Cocacola? Oh? Is it really being
in the world that you can literallyget at a high end restaurant or like
a shack on the beach and it'sexpected to be there, and if it's
not there, it's a problem.It's like water and Coca Cola. I
was saying. I guess I wasthinking ads. I don't see a Coca
Cola ad. What's the last timeyou saw a Coca Cola AD. I
(19:37):
can't tell you a time I sawa Coca Cola. Well, I think,
wow, we are good. Wehad topics to talk about, and
I love talking about marketing, likethis is mom fucking reach crackers and jam,
but you put like peanut butter's andcrackers, but you say this is
my jab. So I see whereyou were going. You see where you're
(20:00):
God was like, we've got afreeze for this, try six at once.
But Coke did the whole product placement. They were super smart and they
started getting on like sitcoms where theydidn't play a Coke ad, but all
of the characters were drinking coke andit was like Christmas commercial. Are you
sweet? I haven't seen any recently, though, like if you told me
(20:22):
so in my childhood, I cantell you specifically the Panda bear or not
Panda the polar bear ads like Iremember those during the Super Bowl, but
I don't remember seeing one recently.I feels like bud Light is the most
McDonald's commercials always feature coke. Andwhen was the last time you go to
the movies? Every time you goto the movies, let's get your popcorn
in new Coke. Yeah, that'sinteresting. Anyways, Wow, what a
(20:45):
what a weird sidetrack we went on. Anyways, my big thing was,
you clearly don't see like product placementof coke in my life very often.
But what if Coke wasn't the biggestadvertiser in the world and it was actually
iHeartRadio. And that's why I walkaround with all these iHeartRadio sweatshirts. And
I got hired here to promote theIt haled my hair. I just healed
(21:07):
my hair. Was a real joke. What So you're saying that you work
way higher up. We're talking likeyour Bob Pittman's niece, and they put
you Intoledo so that you could riselike a champion, like a phoenix.
No, it's more like I neverdeserve to have this job. But because
(21:30):
The Truman Show is about me,I guess we'll have her work here so
that our products are talked about ontelevision all that. Would you want the
Truman Show? First off, Okay, let's go back to the fact that
your brother is scared of the movie, because genuinely, I think everybody who
watched it had an initial fear oflike this could be real, because you
think about all the times that likeyou want to do something, even like
(21:51):
travel out of the state or thecity or whatever, and something breaks down
and you're like, well shit,and then you try to do it again,
and then it just seems like it'snever gonna happen, and you're like,
what is going on? And it'sbecause the world is watching you and
they want you to stay in thisplace, so you don't anyways. Would
you tell if you were no,Because I'm that means I'm getting a big
(22:11):
enough paycheck where I would stop gettingpaid. I wouldn't tell, but there
would be signs. I would tryto sneak it in. I would try
to try to throw it in.I don't know how, but I would
try to be like, hey,yeah, but la la lah. He
wouldn't think that you were giving awarnings that he was on the Truman Show.
(22:33):
He would think that you're gonna murderhim. Fucking nuts. Yeah,
he would think. He would thinktybe that his dad his dad in the
movie where all of a sudden,he just reappears and he's just crazy.
He's just batshit crazy. That wouldbe me. But I think that at
a certain point I would be inon it, just for let's be honest,
the Instagram followers have got to belit. If you're on television twenty
four sevens like I'm picturing myself asthe wife of Truman. I forget what
(22:56):
the actress's name is. She's phenomenal. Yeah, but if like I was
her, she's on television like twentyseven, you know, like she went
to work, but she's sleeping inthe house with him, She's there constantly.
Yeah, that's it. But thatwhole thing was all a set up,
So you'd have to be like,pretend in love with somebody for the
rest of your life, have babies. Has been every relationship I've ever run
(23:18):
it up to this point? Isthere? Would you want? Okay,
you already said you wouldn't want tobe in the Truman You wouldn't want to
be Truman, right, is thatwhat you said? No, I just
don't. I would want to betrue, I'm an attention whore. I
would want to be Truman. Comeon, like Tinkerbell, if you stop
clapping I die, but I justthink I'm not interesting enough to be Truman.
(23:44):
Okay, is there any other movieout there that you think conspiracy theory
wise could be based on real lifesome day? Like I tend to think
those movies where like alien movies orparanormal movies. Yeah, those are the
ones where I'm like, those couldbe true. I'm gonna say it's it's
a documentary. I don't know ifyou've seen it before. It's called Independence
(24:07):
Day. Yeah with will Smith.Yeah, with William Smith because William and
he told a really interesting story fromthe perspective of I believe he was an
Air Force pilot, right, sohe had a lot of experience flying,
and it was he actually got calledup by the President to interact with these
aliens. First no I do,and then Men in Black though then he's
(24:30):
in Men in Black. Will Smith, we need to talk will William J.
Smith. I don't know what tosmid on. I think have you
ever seen the movie Arrival? Letme google. I could see something like
Arrival being the most accurate depiction ofthe future. Okay, I don't know.
(24:52):
I didn't see that one, butit looks like a good movie.
You need to watch it. It'sone of the best movies ever made.
But to give you like a quickkind of synopsis if you haven't seen it,
and I'm not gonna give you aspoiler, there's a really great twist
at the end. It's so interesting. I remember the first time I had
watched the movie, the twist hadhappened, and I had not seen it
(25:12):
in theaters, so I was streamingit. I think I rented it because
I wasn't sure if I was gonnalike it, and I immediately started the
movie back over again, like withthe knowledge of the twist, to be
like what did I miss Because youmiss a lot the first time you watch
it, and you don't realize thatyou missed a lot until the end.
I love movies like that. Butthese aliens come to Earth all over the
(25:37):
planet and different ships. Nobody cancommunicate with them. Nobody knows how to
handle it. All of the countriesthat have their own ships, like I
think there's like one in China,one in the United States, one in
Europe, somewhere, there's one inAfrica, they're not like communicating with each
other to figure out like how tocommunicate with the aliens. So they're all
(26:00):
doing their own thing. And anyways, it's a really interesting story of like
if a different sentient being came toEarth, how would you even start the
conversation of are we friends or foes? Oh? Yeah, it's so freaking
(26:21):
interesting. I love it much.I got the trailer pulled up in here.
I'm definitely gonna I might put thatin the queue today to watch.
Honestly, I'll probably watch it whileI clean my apartment today and like get
stuff done. I'm gonna fake tantoday. That might be the perfect thing
to sit down and draw too.Likes it is so incredibly interesting. Amy
Adams and Jeremy Fisher star in it, and it's right, I'll check it
(26:42):
out. I'll check that one outfor sure. I would say another one
too. Is I think that thatI've often wondered. I've thought about the
sixth Sense where he's dead the wholetime. I've often thought about those movies
where the twist because you mentioned twist, is that, like what's the one
(27:07):
with God? It's gonna bug menow. Leonardo DiCaprio and the Hulk and
he's on an island and it's justcalled the Island. I've never seen it,
don't spoil it. Shutter Island orinception Inception is another great one.
Where is this real right now?Or have I been dead for like forty
(27:29):
years? But I don't know whatdead is? You literally just fucking spoiled
it? No, no, no, no, I'm talking sixth sense,
sixth sense. Yeah, where he'sdead the whole time. He's dead the
whole time. No, the otherone, no, I promise you,
that's not the I promise you that'snot the But but what I'm telling you
is there's twists, so it's notwhat you think. It is the whole
time. And in the sixth sense, he's dead the whole time. Yeah,
(27:52):
So if you haven't seen the sixthsense, then I'm sorry that is
a spoiler. He's dead the entireBruce Willis is dead the entire time.
Wow, I know I have youever seen? And it's the only good
Michael Bay movie. I said whatI said. The Island Scarlett Johansson is
Alitada. I don't think so.Uh. It is a very interesting movie
(28:15):
about people who have and you figuredthis out, well, I don't know
if you figure it out until Lanethe Boy, You're gonna spoil it.
Don't spoil it very interesting movie aboutwhat the rich would be able to do
one day. You're telling me,hold on, let's dial it back.
The only, the only good MichaelBay movie. Oh absolutely, what Yeah?
(28:41):
I said what I said? Transformers? Is it enjoyable to watch?
Yes? Is it Good? BadBoys? The original Bad Boys Michael Bay.
Yes, Armageddon where Bruce Willis Godgood. Bruce Willis is an oil
guy, but also he stops aasteroid from hitting the Earth. And I'm
(29:03):
gonna give you the most common argument. It would have been easier to train
astronauts to drill than it was totake people who drill and turned them into
astronauts. Bad Boys too. Alsoa solid movie, The Rock with Sean
Connery. It was an okay movie. Well he actually has done all the
Bad Boys. I didn't know that. Okay. Is there anything else you
(29:30):
would even bring up in an argumentbecause I see you reading and I know
that you're quickly skimming to try tofind something else to add. Coyote Ugly.
I fucking love Coyote Ugly. That'sa Michael Bay movie. Michael Bay
movie, trash movie. I loveit. We have the four boys,
Oh say Jack, I forget theother two. There are a lot in
(29:55):
here that aren't that great, buthe does have a lot of good.
The ones that were good, we'repretty solid. The Island is really really
good. I actually think it's themost unlike a Michael Bay movie that there
is, and it's probably why Ilike it. I just listed four movies
that you were like, Oh Ilike that, Yeah, but they're not
good, you know what I'm like. You can like something that's about Emily
(30:18):
in Paris might be the worst Netflixoriginal programming ever, and I watch it
the day it drops. It's aterrible show, and I love it.
Speaking of trash and terrible shows,and I know we're all over the place
right now, but but I thought, uh, well, first I showed
my wife this because I think thatit was right up for Alley, but
it might be right up yours too, with uh, do you read spicy
(30:41):
books? Do you like the spicybooks? Your wife gives me all of
my spicy book recommendations. That's wonderful. She literally gave me a Penis bookmark
the last time I saw. That'sright. So there's a movie or a
show. I think it's a movie, and it's got Jenna Ortega in it,
and wait, the guy from Lordof the Ring. Yeah, as
a teacher. As the teacher,I need to watch that The Miller's or
(31:03):
Mister Miller or something like that,where she's basically trying to seduce him to
get a good grade. And it'sunlike Jenna Ortega at all. I guess
I've only seen her on Wednesday recently, but it's supposed to be very very
uh dirty and spicy. I didthat in my life. Yeah, well
I tried, but it didn't work. I don't know that it works for
her either. You have to watchwhat what do you mean? Yeah?
(31:26):
What do you? What do you? Uh? Now, let's go back
to that. I was in love. I probably shouldn't admit this, but
with I'll be general about it.I was in love with two teachers in
my life. One was in college, a one was in high school.
And I looking back at it now, I am embarrassed for how I behaved
in that high school class. ButI thought he was my schoolmate. Really,
(31:48):
Oh my god, he was perfect. I loved him. And we're
talking to you, said high schoolright, yes, okay, absolute perfection?
Wow? Like woodspend extra classes inhis classroom? Was you can't say
I was gonna ask what subject itwas. I'll tell you later. Yeah,
Like I wasn't the only one either, by the way, like you
(32:10):
would walk by when your lunch periodstarted and sometimes there are already people in
there and you're like, ah,bid me do it. So like this
poor teacher was getting left and rightfrom everybody. And did you know where
I went to high school? Everybodyknows who I'm talking about. Did anything?
(32:30):
Did you ever shoot your shot?No? Because I was, I
know, but no, No,we were just like, like it's not
like a Disney Prince movie walking throughthe village and we were all the girls
shopping for bread. Did he knowlike he knew that all these girls wanted
him? Oh, he had tohave to be fair. He was like
(32:52):
a very like I saw him recentlyand he's still very attractive, Like he
was he married at the time.Oh yes, and he has like kids
that are probably now in high schoolbut were young at the time. Like
he knew he was attractive. Hewas incredibly attractive. Okay, so everybody
was in love. I think themom's, the faculty, the students,
(33:14):
like everybody was in love with him. Okay, So there was that,
and then in college, I wasactually in love with a professor really,
oh absolutely, which is funny becauseand the most like trying not to be
disrespectful way possible. I knew Iwas actually in love with him because I
didn't find him that attractive, andI still was like, I want to
be with you. Really, yeah, I was like in love with him.
(33:36):
Did you say anything to this guy? No, No, I thought
I would. He got a jobsomewhere else and moved away, and I
straight up was like, oh,okay, you guys. I was doing
the whole like it's so inappropriate becauselike, I am your student, but
I was going to be out ofhis classes. And then it's I don't
(33:57):
feel like when you're in college andyour adults, it's inappropriate as long as
he's not grading, like choosing whetheror not I get my degree or not.
At that point, but then heannounced that he was moving away,
and I was like, oh damn, what type of class was it?
I don't want to get anybody Isay it. I don't think I think
he knew. It was like mediarelated classes. Yeah, so in this
(34:22):
one there, it's a writing class, so she writes a book or a
story based on somebody else's work andI guess it's just filthy and it's about
him and her and like she's yeah, it's a wait shit what Yeah,
yeah, it's thirty. I've onlyseen clips on TikTok and I'm like,
cause it's like the highlights where she'slike he's turning her around and bending her
(34:45):
over and then it flashes to somethingelse and then they're standing in the rain.
It's I don't know why it's notpromoted at all, but like I
keep seeing it everywhere. No,it had tons of ads, they're just
not targeted at You might yeah somethingwith somebody asked with the name of it,
something with Miller's like Miller's Girl orMiller's something. I don't know.
(35:06):
I can't remember what it was,but like it's been all over my TikTok
ads for you mean that thirty yearold guys, mid thirties guys. Shockingly
enough, I do not think thatyou are a target demographic, which is
kind of funny because I had anotherquestion for you, based on targeted stuff
on TikTok. Are you on thepart of TikTok where women are answering the
(35:27):
question who would you rather be stuckin the woods with a man or a
bear? No, No, whatis that my favorite turn on TikTok?
Right now? If you're on thelive right now and you're in the comments,
can you tell me if you've hitthat side of TikTok because it might
be the most dramatic part of TikTokthat I've reached since flavored Water TikTok,
and I'm living for it. Iam living for it. So there was
(35:51):
a prompt huh, oh my god, my comment section is filled with like
it's been all over my for youpage. I got a few yes and
then a couple no. The promptwas, if you're a woman and you're
stuck alone in the woods, wouldyou rather be stuck alone with a man
or a bear? And it's oneof those quick videos that you're supposed to
(36:14):
stitch, and like it cuts toalone with a man or a bear?
And then it's like, all right, cool, let's break this down.
And it's a whole bunch of differentperspectives on the question. Well, the
vast majority of women are saying thebear, and it's so funny. Everybody's
dying and I think also in agreementeven in my comments since bringing this up,
(36:34):
everybody said, I'm with a teambear. Why oh oh, because
okay, somebody stitched the original videowith a bear charging a group of people
and they're all yelling at it noand it runs away, and it was
like, see, a bear knowswhat knows what no means. A bear
means no mean no. That's whyI'd rather be stuckond or with with the
bear. Like, There's so manydifferent examples to it, right, and
(36:58):
I'm dying at every single response that'slike, a bear isn't going to tell
me that he knows how to getout of the woods while getting us more
lost, and now I'm asking fordirection, bit like out of a bit.
It's so funny to be all thedifferent reasons that are being brought up
on why we would choose to bealone in the woods with a bear.
(37:19):
I mineus the first one except forsome douchebag guys. I hate everything about
this. I hate everything about it. It's gonna pop up in mind now
You're very welcome. I honestly onlybrought it up so that it would hit
your live and then you're for youpage weight. It's faster and faster now
the more that people talk about things, it pops up faster and faster and
(37:42):
faster and faster, and I won'teven look it up on my phone or
do anything like that. It's wildhow quick it is, Like they're listening
all the time. There's no doubtin my mind at all. Right,
absolutely, as they should, becauseif I'm going to get as many adds
in my life as I do,I'd like it to at least be relevant.
Penis Straws Straws, Penis Straws,Penis Straws, Penis Straws. I
hope you get nothing but Penis Straws. That's what. That's who we should
(38:05):
do. You know how funny itwould be walk up to like people in
the building and just start saying randomthings so that they get ads for them,
like random ship, like the mostrandom, like Bucky's gas station.
Menstrual cups. Menstrual cups? Isthat what they're called? Are they called
menstrual cups? Are? Yeah?Proud of you. I am slowly,
(38:29):
slowly, slowly, slowly. It'sfor you. It's a growth moment.
It is a growth moment, thegrowth member. All right, so uh
oh yeah, yeah, yeah,no, what I wanted to talk about.
We got it. We got really, really yeah, we're everywhere today.
(38:49):
What uh what were you telling mebefore we started the podcast about your
neighbors hearing everything you're doing in thewalls. Oh not not my walls,
thank god. I have to saythat my apartment has to be so heavily
insulated, because I have never onceheard a neighbor's alarm, clocks, television
(39:12):
music, anything like that. Theonly thing that frustrates me is that the
majority of our apartments are tile floors. So every once in a while,
the guy above me, it happensat night, so he must be tired,
kind of slaps his feet when hewalks. And it's really not the
biggest problem in the world. I'velived in apartments that are absolutely miserable,
so like, I'll take your footstepson the tile floors. But I was
(39:37):
I get ready, like we weresaying at the beginning of the podcast,
I get up at three thirty inthe morning. I usually that's when i'll
like take my showers, Like ifI'm not washing my hair, I'll take
a shower in the morning and I'llget ready for the day, and YadA,
YadA, YadA. I for somereason was in the bathroom just later
in the day and it mustn't linedup with the guy who lives above me,
(40:00):
because he was taking a shower,and I swear to God, mi
ink I could hear him singing inthe shower. Okay, like clear's day.
Hearing my neighbors did not bother me. I was not annoyed. I
did not want to file a complaint. I am not a Karen. That
happens in shared living spaces. ButI got mortified realizing that he was singing
(40:22):
pretty quietly and I could hear him, and I belt show tunes poorly in
my shower every single time my shower. This man has literally been late listening
to my screeching for months at fouro'clock in the morning, so he's hearing
everything. If you're yeah, he'sdoing it quiet, you're doing it loud.
(40:45):
He's heard everything at four am,at three point thirty in the morning,
singing about wanting a pregnancy test toturn out negative. That's my like
go to first shower song is forSummer in Waitress the musical, and the
second song in the musical is hopingthat her pregnancy test is negative and I'm
(41:06):
screaming it. Why Why is Broadwaysong show tunes your your go to shower
song because I'll never be on Broadway, but that is my stage. Yeah
is it? You know what isthe acoustics in bathrooms just better? Is
that why we sing that? Yes? I think so too. Yes,
it's the acoustics. It's the privacyof knowing that. Even if people like
(41:30):
when I lived with other people,whether it was roommates or back at home
with my dad and brother or whatever, you can't judge me. We live
together. You do weirder, grosser, and more annoying things. This is
my ten minutes of me time,so you can put up and shut up,
you know what I mean. Soit's the safe space. Yeah.
(41:50):
Do you know who this neighbor is? Not a fucking clue? No,
you never met that. It's rightabove you, the upstairs neighbor. No.
I do my absolute best to notknow anybody in the apartment building.
Well, they highlight like each likea good tenant in your building. Do
you think it's one of those guys, the guy with the puppy. Oh
god, it better not be him, because his picture makes him look like
(42:12):
the nice guy in the entire world. And if he's flipping his floppers up
there, I'm gonna kill I'm gonnakill him. He's sitting Just to give
you a picture of this, He'ssitting with this like nice blanket or robe,
I can't really tell, wrapped aroundhis arms with this little tiny dog
that's clearly posed and smiling at thecamera at the perfect moment. It like
(42:32):
it could be a modeling photo forsome I don't know, blanket company.
Maybe. Oh yeah. My complextries very very hard to really provide a
space where you can like meet people, and I actually really appreciate it about
it. Once a month they havelike happy hour mixers at the building,
(42:54):
where like they provide drinks and it'sjust to meet your neighbors and get to
know people. There's always like aconstant influx of new people to the I
think a lot of people who moveinto my building are not from this area,
Like we're a we all seem tobe transplants from the people that I've
talked to. Okay, so it'slike, oh, did you just move
(43:15):
in? Do you like it?How long have you been here? And
it's usually like, oh, Istarted a new job two weeks ago,
I'm from Chicago or I'm from Pennsylvania. Whatever it is, So it's not
like a lot of Michiganders there.But they do this thing in our elevators
where they feature a tenant to giveyou information about them and be like meet
your neighbors. Yeah, it's mybiggest fear to be one of those.
(43:37):
I want it so bad. IfI could vote that in I would vote
that you are the tenant of themonth. No in August. And I
love the people who work for myproperty and they do a really great system
where they have like a text messagingsystem where I don't have to call them
and bother them if I have aquestion, but I can shoot a text
and usually within the hour they'll respondand my well you uh, you were
(44:01):
there. They had like a petmixer two weeks ago for it was great
the Detroit Oh, the Detroit AnimalShelter, and they were doing an adoption
event because they're moving and they're tryingto move the as few animals as possible.
Great, but if you had apet, they said, you know,
bring your current pets too, andwe'll have this at the dog park.
(44:23):
I couldn't make it to the event. My property manager like left me
a goodie bag at my door becauseshe knows that I have a dog.
That guy just I love where Ilive. Yeah, that's incredible. Like
what if you go to this mixeror one of the mixers or whatever and
you see a guy with these loudass flippy floppies on and he's just flapping
around walking. Are you gonna steerclear of this guy? Or are you
(44:45):
talking to him? Now? Iwalk up and I go, do you
live in Unit bee? And whenhe goes, how do you know?
I'm gonna go? I could?I know? Those loud ass feet had
to be yours. You got touse the word like a like an old
bridge, like lot hoppers. Iknew those clod hoppers were yours. Are
you wearing wooden clogging shoes or onyour apartment at ten thirty at night every
(45:07):
night? What does he sing?What is his What is his song?
What do you mean? What didn'tyou say he was singing or he was
just talking? Oh? No,he was singing. What was he singing?
It was like a radio song?Oh it was Jack Harlowe's on one.
Because I heard this, because youcould me, I was like,
(45:28):
that's the part everybody knows. Sameboy, the whole part of me want
I'd be like, uncle, aredo you think it was a because there's
a different there's a different version ofsinging that song. It's singing the song
in the shower where he's just kindof feeling or whatever, or the shower's
not on and he's looking at himselfin the mirror, and then you know,
(45:50):
he's doing a little dancing. Yeah, he's doing a little little dancing
day hell, Captain Max. Andhere's the other thing I realized when I
could hear him. Now. Ican't complain about his stomping, because if
he stomps around at ten thirty atnight, that's one thing. But if
I'm belting at the top of mylungs every day at four in the morning
and he hasn't bitched about me,I owe you one. Yeah, that's
(46:12):
true. That's how that is true. I wonder, I wonder what the
craziest thing somebody's heard while like throughthe walls or in the bathroom. I
get sex. People probably hear thatall the time. But there's got to
be other things. This guy,I means singing's hilarious, especially if if
you're doing show tunes at four thirtyin the morning, three thirty in the
morning, like I'm bat he tellspeople that all the time. My psychopathic
(46:36):
neighbor, who's going to be aloneher entire life, Ah sings the same
song every morning in the shower likea psychopath. She's got a routine.
I think she kills people just likeyou have envisioned with this. It's a
guy, right, This guy lookslike I'm sure he's envisioned what you look
(47:00):
like as well. I've never meta woman who walked with such heavy flat
feet. It has to be aman, because we all know the guy.
You know exactly what it's how Ienvision keV walks. Kev's actually my
neighbor. Donnie says her husband usedto hold his ear up to the walls
(47:21):
when when they were in apartments andthe neighbors would argue. I am up
for a good argument. If Ihear some loud noises and it's like an
escalated like eh, and then itgoes down, I'm one hundred percent both
my ear on that wall. Itold you about my neighbors at my old
house in Toledo, right, mm oh, my god. There was
(47:42):
more drama at that house than there'sever been an apartment building with eight hundred
other residents and it kills me thatI don't have the drama, because I
would love a good topic every nowand then. But my neighbor's in Toledo.
At the house that I used tolive in, it was grandparents that
lived in a house, and theywere always on their back do entertaining people,
and most of the time it wasfamily members, but they would always
(48:04):
get super drunk, super early inthe day, so at like four pm,
everybody was chefast. And I justremember one day he goes, you're
such a seaword, grandma, iswhat he screamed. And we had like
the screen doors open like that they'renot open, but like the doors open,
and the screen doors and my brotherand I were sitting in the living
(48:25):
room and immediately we're like, Ithink it's time to go outside. I
mean, you need to relocate immediately. Something fun is happening. And so
I think, I uh, justgrabbed my buck and went outside the sunbathe
for a little bit, and Iheard grandpa go, don't you call my
wife a sea word? And hegoes, tell your bitch ass wife,
(48:49):
And I was like that those areyour grandparents, and everybody is slurring and
stumbling, and he walked home becauseGrandpa took his keys, and I was
like, man, I live forthis. It's better than television. Oh
yeah, that's a that's to getyour phone on your phone, get your
phone, and get your phone onbecause you don't know what's gonna happen.
You don't know what's gonna happen.Absolutely did that. What ended up happening.
(49:12):
You just walked home. You walkedhome, and they talked about how
this is why he doesn't get invitedover for the holidays. Oh my god,
this is so good living for it. I literally lived for the drama
because, let's be honest, Ihave the exact same feeling about some of
my family members, but I don'tscream it at them when I get drunk,
no or in public. Usually it'sI'm not a I'm not a public
(49:36):
fighter. But I've never I don'tthink I've ever called anybody a sea word.
I wish I have, but Ihaven't me either. You're a liar
you did today. I'm sure itis one of my favorite words. I
just think it's it conveys a messagethat is very clear. It does like
you even call somebody a bitch andthen be like, is she a bitch
(49:57):
because you don't really get along.Is she really a nasty person? Do
you just not see eye on things? Like? It can apply to somebody.
But if you call somebody the seaword, they know exactly what you
mean, they know how you feelexactly. They don't like they don't like
that person. No miscommunication there.Yeah, but there's some There is something
different about a public fight, notlike even sometimes physical. But I don't
(50:20):
I don't need just a good argumentin public is just thet I'll stop what
I'm doing. I could be ina hurry to get somewhere late for something
already. You see somebody start yellingin a produce aisle, I'm immediately stopping
immediately or slowing down and pretending likeI have to grab something. I mean,
(50:40):
there's that, but I don't thinkthere's any space that's better in the
world. And unfortunately, Mike,you've never experienced this, but the bar
bathroom at one am, when agirl is fighting with somebody. Now it
can be another woman who's not currentlyin the bathroom, But if she walks
in and that conversation immediately stops,everybody in that bathroom now knows who she's
having that argument with. Because we'renot going to have that discussion around her.
(51:07):
Those are always interesting because it couldbe like we're at a birthday party,
right, and we're all friends withthe same birthday girl, but I
don't like you, but we're allat this party. Those are my favorite
conversations to walk in in. Theonly thing that's better is a drunk girl
who's fighting with a guy who's beingin tooosh bang and she comes in the
bathroom to cry, and every personin that bathroom creates a wall of solidarity
(51:30):
and understanding around her. And wedon't need to know what he did.
We didn't. We don't need toknow if he's right or wrong. We
don't need to know what she didto instigate anything. We just all know
he's wrong and you're right and youdeserve better. Those are my two favorite
(51:51):
things to happen in a woman's bathroom. But drunk public fights are the best,
especially when the other person isn't eveninvolved in the fight. It's just
a communal effort of hatred towards aperson we've never met. It's bus ultimate
bonding experience. What is the piscesand what is the cancer? We have
no idea what that says about them, We're sure it's not good. It's
(52:12):
a slightly messy show with Megan andMine. I love that one.
Give me a level real fast,Michael, check check sibilants, sibilants,
sibilants, sibil sibilance a word oris that just something that people say?
Noun a hissing quality of sound orthe hissing sound itself. Oh, sibilants,
Oh yeah, sibilants. I'm gonnaask another question that might be worth
(00:23):
a google. What's it called whena word makes the sound that it putn't
or that it How am I kindaword like when you say the word it
also makes this sounds on amount ofpa that's right, crash bark, bark,
bark, drizzle, clang, clink, boom, splash, bang buzz.
(00:49):
Was that really in there a problem? Michael, and I am so
sorry that you face part of it. There is one joy of being single
with no kids, and it's Ihave no real responsibilities. Go. This
is the slightly Messy Show with Mikeand Meghan. State means a messy show,
(01:14):
messy, messy, Mic and Megan, It's a slightly messy show with
Mike and Megan man ready and club. At this point, I don't even
want to change it. I justwant to keep it. I just want
to make it more intense now,so that every time it is a slightly
(01:42):
messy show with Mike and Megan freshoff a weekend where I've probably seen you
more in forty eight hours seventy twohours? Wait, how many? How
many hours? Seven is three days? Seventy two? Yeah, yeah,
in math more in many two hoursthat I'm seeing you and probably a long
(02:04):
time, a long time. Wesaw each other a lot, and the
and that was three days and itwas great. I'm glad. I thought
you were gonna say it was miserable. That's what I would have said.
No, No, I didn't saywhat you just said. When I said,
hey, I loved hanging out.Maybe there's something we could talk about
with with the uh with us hangingout that on that Friday, and you
said, now it was kind ofboring. That is now when I said
you lie, I said, Imean this in the nicest way. I
(02:27):
know. It was so normal.It was like usually when we're together,
because it's so rare something like interestinghappens, It's like that never happens.
Right, This was just so normal. It was one hundred percent normal.
Because I think at that point,if if you wonder what we're talking about
last weekend was the Draft. Youand I had a chance after the show
on Friday to kind of run around, and I got to hang out your
(02:47):
place for a little bit do somework, which was great, and you're
in like the heart of everything.So then we just walked around and checked
out the NFL experience, ran intoa lot of listeners. Oh my god,
that was really really cool. Gotto run around and do a bunch
of other stuff which was fun,and kind of check out some of the
behind the scenes stuff, and alsoto run around and check out the draft
(03:10):
experience. But like, we wereso exhausted at that point. We had
hit a level of like, we'vebeen doing this for forty eight hours.
You're downtown, you're in the thickof it. I don't know if you're
going back and forth from your houseto the station. Yeah, so,
like I don't even want to say. It was maybe four o'clock, maybe
(03:30):
five o'clock. I don't know ifwe've made it to five o'clock the Early
Bird Special. We were like,all right, well, I think I'm
gonna head back to my place andmy friend. We ran into my buddy.
He come, He's like hyping meup. He's like, you gotta
stay the night, you got tocome out for drinks, and you're like
we both had had a drink andyou're like, yeah, yeah, that
(03:50):
sounds fun. I'm like, okay, I guess yeah, let's do that.
And then we like round the cornerand he walks away and says hi
to somebody and go, yeah,I'm not doing that. Like within thirty
seconds, I was like, there'sabsolutely no way I'm going out tonight.
I need you to make your plansbased on that information. If you decide
to go out tonight, know thatI will be saying that I'm going to
the bathroom and I'm sneaking away thatI'm I fully under god, I'm glad.
(04:15):
At first, I'm glad you saidsomething, but also I think I
was. I was in that moment, I was like, yeah, that
does sound fun. And as wekept walking and as we stood in the
heat and as we kind of justhung out, and realizing that I had
done the same, the same exactthing for the last those two days.
I was basically waiting a lot toget into certain areas. I was like
done, Like my body was tired, I was exhausted. I wanted to
(04:40):
get home and see my family.At that point, I just went on,
I'm gonna go home too. Ididn't want it, because otherwise I
would have been sitting there for anotherfive hours before he's even done and then
going out right. It just didn'tmake sense. And I don't know if
this is the case for you,Mike, but Fridays are my least favorite
days to go out, Like Iwould rather go out on a Wednesday night
a Friday night, because I thinkjust not sleeping throughout the week and having
(05:03):
this super weird schedule that we do. What time do you wake up for
the show? Uh? Four,bastard? Why I'm just kidding. Why
do you get up earlier on daysthat I don't fill in for Shannon?
I get up at three thirty inthe morning. Yeah, that's middle of
the night. Still. Yeah,I realize it's a half an hour,
(05:24):
but it's middle of the night.Still, three anything is middle of the
night. So by the time Fridayrolls around and I'm not going to bed
until ten eleven at night, andI'm getting up at three thirty every day,
like, I can't stay up pastnine pm on a Friday, I
can't. Oh really, what aboutduring the week? What time to go
to bed ten eleven. So onnights where you have to get up early,
(05:47):
you actually go to sleep later thanon nights where you could sleep in
the next day. Correct. Absolutely, I didn't say it made sense.
I said it was my life.We should all know that those things do
not go hand in hand. Soyeah, I think with our schedule just
I love going on on Saturdays.Saturdays are my favorite. I can sleep
in Saturday morning like have like thatslow rollout day. There's nothing better than
(06:08):
Saturdays are usually like my hair washedday too, so like I feel like
I look good, I'm put together, my apartments clean, like I'm ready
to go do something. I don'tfeel stressed out. It's way more fun
than Fridays, where it's just likeit's not. When I'm tired, I
become a raging bitch, like Ican't help it. I really can't.
I have no fuse my I alreadydon't have a poker face, and then
(06:31):
when you make me tired, it'sjust it's there and you can see it,
and nobody wants to be around Iknow. I know myself, and
so I just don't want to ruinother people's fridays being around I didn't.
I so I understand what you're saying. I didn't get that from you,
Like that vibe wasn't there. Yeah, yeah, I could tell when you
told me you weren't coming like thesecond because you're your whole Your whole tone
(06:56):
does change your whole tone, andmaybe you hit a level of like just
being done. And again I getit because I understand the schedule. But
it went from like I got ablood light in my hand, we're having
a great time, Yeah, Mike, Actually you were telling me for my
wife, who will listen or watchthis. At some point you were telling
me I'm not giving or I'm notsaying yes or no Mike if you should
stay because uh, I like yourwife so so I'm not gonna tell you
(07:21):
yes or no, which she wouldabsolutely love that you did that. I
forgot to tell her that, butshe but your your tone after like,
yeah, let's you know this soundsfun. We got a beer in a
hand, We have a good time. When you threw your beer away right
before you said it, and itmight have been gone, but you threw
it away, and you're like,just to let you know, I'm absolutely
not doing that for Oh okay,all right, I want you to do.
(07:46):
That was me telling you we areclose friends because if we were just
like friendly work people and I don'tsee that often, I would be like,
pull your shit together and go out. And here's the other thing.
When you and I go out andwe have gone out drinking before, we've
had those crazy nights. They arethe best. I think you and I
have so much fun when we goout, like it's the best in the
(08:07):
entire world. But like literally myfriendship was I'm gonna act cool in front
of your friend, but just knowas soon as he's out of your shot,
absolutely I love you. The secondwe were added the people he knew,
and he was like he stepped awayout of like almost the box the
(08:28):
area, just so you know,I'm absolutely not doing okay. I also
was like, you could go outwith him, like you could go have
fun, don't judgement you go youwant to party tonight, you go party,
but just no do that The factorme in that equation right right,
(08:48):
And and I my thing is isI was I was in the same boat.
Is like I was tired, Iwas exhausted. But for some reason,
if it's like one other person andI know it's gonna be way later
because we got to wait for him. I'm like, ah, I might
as well just call it in fora night. But if you had another
person on there, and you're like, oh, well that's three people,
(09:09):
Oh okay, well maybe I canguy math it and figure out a way
to tell my what I think.I had mapped it out where I wasn't
gonna see him til the next morninganyways, so that I was just gonna
come back. I was gonna stayanother night and then go the next morning
because at that point, uh,he was finding me a place to uh,
he was planing to me a placeto stay. You were like,
(09:31):
oh, you can sleep on thecouch if you want, and then that
instantly turned into I'm one hundred percentnot doing that. There is no way
boy mash and I was yeah.I was like, nah, you're right,
you're right, because at that pointI don't really need to I need
to go home. It was alsoone of those things where it was like,
if you're going to stay at myapartment, you're more than welcome.
We're calling Allen and getting permission.Yeah, that's fair if you're going to
(09:56):
stay. If your logic made sensein the fact that you were like,
I promise the kids that I wouldbe there when they woke up. I'm
not going to be there before theygo to bed, So like, what's
the difference if I leave at fiveo'clock in the morning versus you know,
five o'clock in the afternoon. Eitherway, I'm not going to see them
till the morning. Not bringing apromise. Your logic was solid, but
it was also if you don't comehome tonight because you went out with me,
(10:18):
and I obviously love an adore yourwife. I'm like, yes,
that is not gonna be my fault. Yeah, yeah, that's true.
And it's also that and I'm sureyou have friends like this. He's also
that buddy like I don't see asoften as i'd like to. He travels
a lot, but like when weget together and we go out, it's
gonna be a long night. SoI might not have made it that next
morning. So it's a good overall, it was the best decision. I
(10:39):
looked that you're acting like I mightnot have made you and I both know
you wouldn't have even gotten back tothe hotel room until five o'clock. You
wouldn't have been able to drive untilthree o'clock in the afternoon the next day.
That is a fact, That isone hundred percent, because then I
would have tried to justify, well, I'm already at the draft, I
might as well do draft things,you know what I mean. You would
have gone to the casino and allthe bars closed, to be honest.
(11:03):
Yeah, that's true. You're true. You're right. It's also really funny
to me that I moved into downtownDetroit in October November ish, and it
was right as the weather was changing. Like I moved and it was cold
outside. It started snowing a fewweeks later, and like the city kind
of dies down in the wintertime.Yeah. And it's so funny because for
months I've just been saying, thisplace is gonna be amazing when it's packed.
(11:26):
I can't wait for summer. Ican't wait for all the activity.
It's like, I can't wait towalk everywhere. It's gonna be so great.
It's gonna be so great. Andthen the draft happened in downtown Detroit
last weekend, and there were amillion people that went to the draft,
literally a million people. Yeah,And all I kept thinking was, there's
too many, goddamn people. Getout of here? Where did my quiet
city go? I it's so loudand I hate all of you. And
(11:48):
I'm just kidding. It was sogreat, but it was. It was
funny to go from zero to onehundred, like it was a very quiet
city too, Like, wow,that's a lot of people overnight. Is
it back to normal? It's backto like it's busy, Like it's back
to people are on motorcycles, peopleare blaring music, there's people walking around
people, you know, outside ofall the restaurants around me, they opened
(12:09):
up all their patio seatings, solike it's louder. But the draft was
it was just insanity. Yeah,insanity, And I wish we had it
every year because it was so muchfun. It was a lot of fun.
And I think they're gonna have theNBA They're talking about having the NBA
All Star Game there, which wouldbe kind of same level. I think.
(12:31):
Do you think it would draw onthe same people. No, No,
I think it would draw in alot though, because it's all the
All Stars, like it's every singlelike really really good basketball players. I
think it might draw a lot ofpeople. I don't know if it's gonna
be the level of the draft.They did it right, they did one
hundred percent of Detroit did it likeperfect. Couldn't have gone any better.
I just want more events to comebecause I spread, to God, this
(12:52):
is so selfish in me. Theyripped up literally every sidewalk that had a
microscopic cra and like fixed everything.So I was like, yeah, we
should do this stuff all the time. And the city's great. I'm not
like shitting on the city, no, but every little blemish was touched up,
and I was like beautiful, Yeah, yeah, that is a good
(13:15):
point. And because it probably broughta lot of money too, a shit
a ton of money. Well,when we had one home playoff game,
they said it brought in like twentyfour million dollars for a game. I
can't imagine what a three day drafted. Love to see it. The only
thing that broke my heart is Ifound out that there was a raising Kine's
(13:35):
truck food truck downtown and I didnot see it or go to it.
So I'm very heartbroken that Canes wasin the city and I didn't get any
I heard at one point that theyran out of food, that they ran
out of food and they had toget either get food for I don't know
if it was raising canes or likethe city of Detroit. I'll have to
look that up. But like therestaurants and stuff ran out of food,
so they had to go to likeCanada and get food and send it over.
(13:58):
I would have walked up to theraisin canes truck like a baby bird
with my mouth open and said,just put the sauce in my mouth.
I don't need the chicken, Idon't need the toast, I don't need
the fries. Give me the goddamnsauce right now. So I ended up
going home that night and my Istarted binge watching like TV with my wife.
I fell asleep like an old man, like a little old man.
(14:20):
Who what is that? I'm rebootingmy computer. If my computer locks after
like fifteen seconds, it drives menuts. Oh jeez. And so I
go to watch TV with her andwe start watching. I meant to look
it up before we started. It'scalled like Three Bodies or something like that.
I think that's what it's called.Yes, that's exactly okay. So
basically it's about aliens and all thisother stuff that I really can't dive into
(14:45):
because it's a long explanation, andit is something that my wife is very,
very into, to the point whereI think that you're going to be
super about this because I know you'rea conspiracy theory person she has. It's
now fallen into a side of maybeit's TikTok. Maybe it's just thought process
that every show like this, BlackMirrors, the Three Bodies or whatever,
(15:09):
shows like this is the government tellingus what's actually happening, but they're telling
us in a way that we thinkit's entertainment so that legally, someday they
can say, well, we toldyou, we put it right in front
of your face, right, sothat legally or not legally. But like,
as a society, we're so usedto it, or almost desensitized to
(15:31):
all this stuff that when it actuallydoes happen, when we do see it
in real life, that we're goingto think it's it's not that big of
a deal, so we don't allfreak out. She's absolutely correct, correct,
But I have a question. Didshe ever watch the Truman Show?
(15:52):
I did. I don't know ifshe did, but I did. Were
you one of those people that watchedthe Truman Show and thought this is a
warning? Yes, like looking aroundand then people come up to you and
say stuff to you, and you'relike, are you a commercial? Am
I being filmed right now? Somy brother and I are obviously very close.
The Truman Show fucked with my brotherin a way that like, I
(16:14):
think did serious damage to a psyche. Do you think so? Oh?
Absolutely, To this day, we'renot allowed to mention the movie. You're
like, really, you cannot bringit up. It freaks him out because
he was so in the position ofbeing like that was a warning sign to
me that that is my life.And he and I sat down and had
like a four hour conversation. Wewere definitely drunk. Four hour conversation once
(16:37):
about how we would tell the otherperson, or would we tell the other
person, or why they wouldn't tellus if we were truly in the Truman
Show, like we broke it downand eight million different face hits to be
like the Truman Show is real,it is about me. You wouldn't tell
me because you are the most,Like you have to be the highest paid
actor on the show. Yeah,because you're in my life the most,
(17:00):
So of course you want to keepthe secret the most because you need the
butt. Like it broke down intoeight million different parts and it was hysterical,
but it kind of goes hand inhand with what you were saying with
Ali. With the whole it's awarning. So, alright, is this
the Truman Show? Am I beingmy being watched? Right? You wouldn't
tell me because you were, asof right now in this very moment,
(17:22):
in this scene, you are theclosest. So let me tell you.
Bink twice when I realized The TrumanShow wouldn't be about me and that I
this can't be real because I wouldn'tbe the main character was, and then
if I wasn't, then I wouldknow about it. Um. I think
that I would be such bad twentyfour seven three sixty five programming with the
(17:48):
absolute bounts of depression that nobody addressed, and just just like good maybe for
like a week, and then youwould go, somebody needs to help her
and nobody, So either all peopleare really terrible or it's not real.
And also, how truly, Ithink a lot of people and I'm talking
(18:10):
for myself on this one, butI think because of our jobs, people
think we have these like very exciting, like fun filled lives, and I
truly have an incredibly boring life.I just know how to talk about boring
things in an interesting way where nobodywould watch it. You would listen to
hear me make jokes about something.But if it was truly twenty four seven
(18:32):
three sixty five. Yeah, ButI mean, if you're in the Truman
Show, there's commercials, right,Oh, I guess it was there wasn't
They never went away? And solike if you were being watched right now,
that would would be like Hulu andso for like a minute and thirty
seconds it would go away and thenit would come back and then but it
wouldn't be so those things that theythink are boring that people watching us wouldn't
(18:55):
actually see. They would just seea Hulu ad. What is the number
one most marketed product in the world? Ooh, marketed product? This is
so easy. You're overthinking it.I am overthinking it. Why am I
over food? No? It's adrink drink oka beer? No alcohol?
(19:15):
No? What is it? Cocacola? Oh? Is it really being
in the world that you can literallyget at a high end restaurant or like
a shack on the beach and it'sexpected to be there, and if it's
not there, it's a problem.It's like water and Coca Cola. I
was saying. I guess I wasthinking ads. I don't see a Coca
Cola ad. What's the last timeyou saw a Coca Cola AD. I
(19:37):
can't tell you a time I sawa Coca Cola. Well, I think,
wow, we are good. Wehad topics to talk about, and
I love talking about marketing, likethis is mom fucking reach crackers and jam,
but you put like peanut butter's andcrackers, but you say this is
my jab. So I see whereyou were going. You see where you're
(20:00):
God was like, we've got afreeze for this, try six at once.
But Coke did the whole product placement. They were super smart and they
started getting on like sitcoms where theydidn't play a Coke ad, but all
of the characters were drinking coke andit was like Christmas commercial. Are you
sweet? I haven't seen any recently, though, like if you told me
(20:22):
so in my childhood, I cantell you specifically the Panda bear or not
Panda the polar bear ads like Iremember those during the Super Bowl, but
I don't remember seeing one recently.I feels like bud Light is the most
McDonald's commercials always feature coke. Andwhen was the last time you go to
the movies? Every time you goto the movies, let's get your popcorn
in new Coke. Yeah, that'sinteresting. Anyways, Wow, what a
(20:45):
what a weird sidetrack we went on. Anyways, my big thing was,
you clearly don't see like product placementof coke in my life very often.
But what if Coke wasn't the biggestadvertiser in the world and it was actually
iHeartRadio. And that's why I walkaround with all these iHeartRadio sweatshirts. And
I got hired here to promote theIt haled my hair. I just healed
(21:07):
my hair. Was a real joke. What So you're saying that you work
way higher up. We're talking likeyour Bob Pittman's niece, and they put
you Intoledo so that you could riselike a champion, like a phoenix.
No, it's more like I neverdeserve to have this job. But because
(21:30):
The Truman Show is about me,I guess we'll have her work here so
that our products are talked about ontelevision all that. Would you want the
Truman Show? First off, Okay, let's go back to the fact that
your brother is scared of the movie, because genuinely, I think everybody who
watched it had an initial fear oflike this could be real, because you
think about all the times that likeyou want to do something, even like
(21:51):
travel out of the state or thecity or whatever, and something breaks down
and you're like, well shit,and then you try to do it again,
and then it just seems like it'snever gonna happen, and you're like,
what is going on? And it'sbecause the world is watching you and
they want you to stay in thisplace, so you don't anyways. Would
you tell if you were no,Because I'm that means I'm getting a big
(22:11):
enough paycheck where I would stop gettingpaid. I wouldn't tell, but there
would be signs. I would tryto sneak it in. I would try
to try to throw it in.I don't know how, but I would
try to be like, hey,yeah, but la la lah. He
wouldn't think that you were giving awarnings that he was on the Truman Show.
(22:33):
He would think that you're gonna murderhim. Fucking nuts. Yeah,
he would think. He would thinktybe that his dad his dad in the
movie where all of a sudden,he just reappears and he's just crazy.
He's just batshit crazy. That wouldbe me. But I think that at
a certain point I would be inon it, just for let's be honest,
the Instagram followers have got to belit. If you're on television twenty
four sevens like I'm picturing myself asthe wife of Truman. I forget what
(22:56):
the actress's name is. She's phenomenal. Yeah, but if like I was
her, she's on television like twentyseven, you know, like she went
to work, but she's sleeping inthe house with him, She's there constantly.
Yeah, that's it. But thatwhole thing was all a set up,
So you'd have to be like,pretend in love with somebody for the
rest of your life, have babies. Has been every relationship I've ever run
(23:18):
it up to this point? Isthere? Would you want? Okay,
you already said you wouldn't want tobe in the Truman You wouldn't want to
be Truman, right, is thatwhat you said? No, I just
don't. I would want to betrue, I'm an attention whore. I
would want to be Truman. Comeon, like Tinkerbell, if you stop
clapping I die, but I justthink I'm not interesting enough to be Truman.
(23:44):
Okay, is there any other movieout there that you think conspiracy theory
wise could be based on real lifesome day? Like I tend to think
those movies where like alien movies orparanormal movies. Yeah, those are the
ones where I'm like, those couldbe true. I'm gonna say it's it's
a documentary. I don't know ifyou've seen it before. It's called Independence
(24:07):
Day. Yeah with will Smith.Yeah, with William Smith because William and
he told a really interesting story fromthe perspective of I believe he was an
Air Force pilot, right, sohe had a lot of experience flying,
and it was he actually got calledup by the President to interact with these
aliens. First no I do,and then Men in Black though then he's
(24:30):
in Men in Black. Will Smith, we need to talk will William J.
Smith. I don't know what tosmid on. I think have you
ever seen the movie Arrival? Letme google. I could see something like
Arrival being the most accurate depiction ofthe future. Okay, I don't know.
(24:52):
I didn't see that one, butit looks like a good movie.
You need to watch it. It'sone of the best movies ever made.
But to give you like a quickkind of synopsis if you haven't seen it,
and I'm not gonna give you aspoiler, there's a really great twist
at the end. It's so interesting. I remember the first time I had
watched the movie, the twist hadhappened, and I had not seen it
(25:12):
in theaters, so I was streamingit. I think I rented it because
I wasn't sure if I was gonnalike it, and I immediately started the
movie back over again, like withthe knowledge of the twist, to be
like what did I miss Because youmiss a lot the first time you watch
it, and you don't realize thatyou missed a lot until the end.
I love movies like that. Butthese aliens come to Earth all over the
(25:37):
planet and different ships. Nobody cancommunicate with them. Nobody knows how to
handle it. All of the countriesthat have their own ships, like I
think there's like one in China,one in the United States, one in
Europe, somewhere, there's one inAfrica, they're not like communicating with each
other to figure out like how tocommunicate with the aliens. So they're all
(26:00):
doing their own thing. And anyways, it's a really interesting story of like
if a different sentient being came toEarth, how would you even start the
conversation of are we friends or foes? Oh? Yeah, it's so freaking
(26:21):
interesting. I love it much.I got the trailer pulled up in here.
I'm definitely gonna I might put thatin the queue today to watch.
Honestly, I'll probably watch it whileI clean my apartment today and like get
stuff done. I'm gonna fake tantoday. That might be the perfect thing
to sit down and draw too.Likes it is so incredibly interesting. Amy
Adams and Jeremy Fisher star in it, and it's right, I'll check it
(26:42):
out. I'll check that one outfor sure. I would say another one
too. Is I think that thatI've often wondered. I've thought about the
sixth Sense where he's dead the wholetime. I've often thought about those movies
where the twist because you mentioned twist, is that, like what's the one
(27:07):
with God? It's gonna bug menow. Leonardo DiCaprio and the Hulk and
he's on an island and it's justcalled the Island. I've never seen it,
don't spoil it. Shutter Island orinception Inception is another great one.
Where is this real right now?Or have I been dead for like forty
(27:29):
years? But I don't know whatdead is? You literally just fucking spoiled
it? No, no, no, no, I'm talking sixth sense,
sixth sense. Yeah, where he'sdead the whole time. He's dead the
whole time. No, the otherone, no, I promise you,
that's not the I promise you that'snot the But but what I'm telling you
is there's twists, so it's notwhat you think. It is the whole
time. And in the sixth sense, he's dead the whole time. Yeah,
(27:52):
So if you haven't seen the sixthsense, then I'm sorry that is
a spoiler. He's dead the entireBruce Willis is dead the entire time.
Wow, I know I have youever seen? And it's the only good
Michael Bay movie. I said whatI said. The Island Scarlett Johansson is
Alitada. I don't think so.Uh. It is a very interesting movie
(28:15):
about people who have and you figuredthis out, well, I don't know
if you figure it out until Lanethe Boy, You're gonna spoil it.
Don't spoil it very interesting movie aboutwhat the rich would be able to do
one day. You're telling me,hold on, let's dial it back.
The only, the only good MichaelBay movie. Oh absolutely, what Yeah?
(28:41):
I said what I said? Transformers? Is it enjoyable to watch?
Yes? Is it Good? BadBoys? The original Bad Boys Michael Bay.
Yes, Armageddon where Bruce Willis Godgood. Bruce Willis is an oil
guy, but also he stops aasteroid from hitting the Earth. And I'm
(29:03):
gonna give you the most common argument. It would have been easier to train
astronauts to drill than it was totake people who drill and turned them into
astronauts. Bad Boys too. Alsoa solid movie, The Rock with Sean
Connery. It was an okay movie. Well he actually has done all the
Bad Boys. I didn't know that. Okay. Is there anything else you
(29:30):
would even bring up in an argumentbecause I see you reading and I know
that you're quickly skimming to try tofind something else to add. Coyote Ugly.
I fucking love Coyote Ugly. That'sa Michael Bay movie. Michael Bay
movie, trash movie. I loveit. We have the four boys,
Oh say Jack, I forget theother two. There are a lot in
(29:55):
here that aren't that great, buthe does have a lot of good.
The ones that were good, we'repretty solid. The Island is really really
good. I actually think it's themost unlike a Michael Bay movie that there
is, and it's probably why Ilike it. I just listed four movies
that you were like, Oh Ilike that, Yeah, but they're not
good, you know what I'm like. You can like something that's about Emily
(30:18):
in Paris might be the worst Netflixoriginal programming ever, and I watch it
the day it drops. It's aterrible show, and I love it.
Speaking of trash and terrible shows,and I know we're all over the place
right now, but but I thought, uh, well, first I showed
my wife this because I think thatit was right up for Alley, but
it might be right up yours too, with uh, do you read spicy
(30:41):
books? Do you like the spicybooks? Your wife gives me all of
my spicy book recommendations. That's wonderful. She literally gave me a Penis bookmark
the last time I saw. That'sright. So there's a movie or a
show. I think it's a movie, and it's got Jenna Ortega in it,
and wait, the guy from Lordof the Ring. Yeah, as
a teacher. As the teacher,I need to watch that The Miller's or
(31:03):
Mister Miller or something like that,where she's basically trying to seduce him to
get a good grade. And it'sunlike Jenna Ortega at all. I guess
I've only seen her on Wednesday recently, but it's supposed to be very very
uh dirty and spicy. I didthat in my life. Yeah, well
I tried, but it didn't work. I don't know that it works for
her either. You have to watchwhat what do you mean? Yeah?
(31:26):
What do you? What do you? Uh? Now, let's go back
to that. I was in love. I probably shouldn't admit this, but
with I'll be general about it.I was in love with two teachers in
my life. One was in college, a one was in high school.
And I looking back at it now, I am embarrassed for how I behaved
in that high school class. ButI thought he was my schoolmate. Really,
(31:48):
Oh my god, he was perfect. I loved him. And we're
talking to you, said high schoolright, yes, okay, absolute perfection?
Wow? Like woodspend extra classes inhis classroom? Was you can't say
I was gonna ask what subject itwas. I'll tell you later. Yeah,
Like I wasn't the only one either, by the way, like you
(32:10):
would walk by when your lunch periodstarted and sometimes there are already people in
there and you're like, ah,bid me do it. So like this
poor teacher was getting left and rightfrom everybody. And did you know where
I went to high school? Everybodyknows who I'm talking about. Did anything?
(32:30):
Did you ever shoot your shot?No? Because I was, I
know, but no, No,we were just like, like it's not
like a Disney Prince movie walking throughthe village and we were all the girls
shopping for bread. Did he knowlike he knew that all these girls wanted
him? Oh, he had tohave to be fair. He was like
(32:52):
a very like I saw him recentlyand he's still very attractive, Like he
was he married at the time.Oh yes, and he has like kids
that are probably now in high schoolbut were young at the time. Like
he knew he was attractive. Hewas incredibly attractive. Okay, so everybody
was in love. I think themom's, the faculty, the students,
(33:14):
like everybody was in love with him. Okay, So there was that,
and then in college, I wasactually in love with a professor really,
oh absolutely, which is funny becauseand the most like trying not to be
disrespectful way possible. I knew Iwas actually in love with him because I
didn't find him that attractive, andI still was like, I want to
be with you. Really, yeah, I was like in love with him.
(33:36):
Did you say anything to this guy? No, No, I thought
I would. He got a jobsomewhere else and moved away, and I
straight up was like, oh,okay, you guys. I was doing
the whole like it's so inappropriate becauselike, I am your student, but
I was going to be out ofhis classes. And then it's I don't
(33:57):
feel like when you're in college andyour adults, it's inappropriate as long as
he's not grading, like choosing whetheror not I get my degree or not.
At that point, but then heannounced that he was moving away,
and I was like, oh damn, what type of class was it?
I don't want to get anybody Isay it. I don't think I think
he knew. It was like mediarelated classes. Yeah, so in this
(34:22):
one there, it's a writing class, so she writes a book or a
story based on somebody else's work andI guess it's just filthy and it's about
him and her and like she's yeah, it's a wait shit what Yeah,
yeah, it's thirty. I've onlyseen clips on TikTok and I'm like,
cause it's like the highlights where she'slike he's turning her around and bending her
(34:45):
over and then it flashes to somethingelse and then they're standing in the rain.
It's I don't know why it's notpromoted at all, but like I
keep seeing it everywhere. No,it had tons of ads, they're just
not targeted at You might yeah somethingwith somebody asked with the name of it,
something with Miller's like Miller's Girl orMiller's something. I don't know.
(35:06):
I can't remember what it was,but like it's been all over my TikTok
ads for you mean that thirty yearold guys, mid thirties guys. Shockingly
enough, I do not think thatyou are a target demographic, which is
kind of funny because I had anotherquestion for you, based on targeted stuff
on TikTok. Are you on thepart of TikTok where women are answering the
(35:27):
question who would you rather be stuckin the woods with a man or a
bear? No, No, whatis that my favorite turn on TikTok?
Right now? If you're on thelive right now and you're in the comments,
can you tell me if you've hitthat side of TikTok because it might
be the most dramatic part of TikTokthat I've reached since flavored Water TikTok,
and I'm living for it. Iam living for it. So there was
(35:51):
a prompt huh, oh my god, my comment section is filled with like
it's been all over my for youpage. I got a few yes and
then a couple no. The promptwas, if you're a woman and you're
stuck alone in the woods, wouldyou rather be stuck alone with a man
or a bear? And it's oneof those quick videos that you're supposed to
(36:14):
stitch, and like it cuts toalone with a man or a bear?
And then it's like, all right, cool, let's break this down.
And it's a whole bunch of differentperspectives on the question. Well, the
vast majority of women are saying thebear, and it's so funny. Everybody's
dying and I think also in agreementeven in my comments since bringing this up,
(36:34):
everybody said, I'm with a teambear. Why oh oh, because
okay, somebody stitched the original videowith a bear charging a group of people
and they're all yelling at it noand it runs away, and it was
like, see, a bear knowswhat knows what no means. A bear
means no mean no. That's whyI'd rather be stuckond or with with the
bear. Like, There's so manydifferent examples to it, right, and
(36:58):
I'm dying at every single response that'slike, a bear isn't going to tell
me that he knows how to getout of the woods while getting us more
lost, and now I'm asking fordirection, bit like out of a bit.
It's so funny to be all thedifferent reasons that are being brought up
on why we would choose to bealone in the woods with a bear.
(37:19):
I mineus the first one except forsome douchebag guys. I hate everything about
this. I hate everything about it. It's gonna pop up in mind now
You're very welcome. I honestly onlybrought it up so that it would hit
your live and then you're for youpage weight. It's faster and faster now
the more that people talk about things, it pops up faster and faster and
(37:42):
faster and faster, and I won'teven look it up on my phone or
do anything like that. It's wildhow quick it is, Like they're listening
all the time. There's no doubtin my mind at all. Right,
absolutely, as they should, becauseif I'm going to get as many adds
in my life as I do,I'd like it to at least be relevant.
Penis Straws Straws, Penis Straws,Penis Straws, Penis Straws. I
hope you get nothing but Penis Straws. That's what. That's who we should
(38:05):
do. You know how funny itwould be walk up to like people in
the building and just start saying randomthings so that they get ads for them,
like random ship, like the mostrandom, like Bucky's gas station.
Menstrual cups. Menstrual cups? Isthat what they're called? Are they called
menstrual cups? Are? Yeah?Proud of you. I am slowly,
(38:29):
slowly, slowly, slowly. It'sfor you. It's a growth moment.
It is a growth moment, thegrowth member. All right, so uh
oh yeah, yeah, yeah,no, what I wanted to talk about.
We got it. We got really, really yeah, we're everywhere today.
(38:49):
What uh what were you telling mebefore we started the podcast about your
neighbors hearing everything you're doing in thewalls. Oh not not my walls,
thank god. I have to saythat my apartment has to be so heavily
insulated, because I have never onceheard a neighbor's alarm, clocks, television
(39:12):
music, anything like that. Theonly thing that frustrates me is that the
majority of our apartments are tile floors. So every once in a while,
the guy above me, it happensat night, so he must be tired,
kind of slaps his feet when hewalks. And it's really not the
biggest problem in the world. I'velived in apartments that are absolutely miserable,
so like, I'll take your footstepson the tile floors. But I was
(39:37):
I get ready, like we weresaying at the beginning of the podcast,
I get up at three thirty inthe morning. I usually that's when i'll
like take my showers, Like ifI'm not washing my hair, I'll take
a shower in the morning and I'llget ready for the day, and YadA,
YadA, YadA. I for somereason was in the bathroom just later
in the day and it mustn't linedup with the guy who lives above me,
(40:00):
because he was taking a shower,and I swear to God, mi
ink I could hear him singing inthe shower. Okay, like clear's day.
Hearing my neighbors did not bother me. I was not annoyed. I
did not want to file a complaint. I am not a Karen. That
happens in shared living spaces. ButI got mortified realizing that he was singing
(40:22):
pretty quietly and I could hear him, and I belt show tunes poorly in
my shower every single time my shower. This man has literally been late listening
to my screeching for months at fouro'clock in the morning, so he's hearing
everything. If you're yeah, he'sdoing it quiet, you're doing it loud.
(40:45):
He's heard everything at four am,at three point thirty in the morning,
singing about wanting a pregnancy test toturn out negative. That's my like
go to first shower song is forSummer in Waitress the musical, and the
second song in the musical is hopingthat her pregnancy test is negative and I'm
(41:06):
screaming it. Why Why is Broadwaysong show tunes your your go to shower
song because I'll never be on Broadway, but that is my stage. Yeah
is it? You know what isthe acoustics in bathrooms just better? Is
that why we sing that? Yes? I think so too. Yes,
it's the acoustics. It's the privacyof knowing that. Even if people like
(41:30):
when I lived with other people,whether it was roommates or back at home
with my dad and brother or whatever, you can't judge me. We live
together. You do weirder, grosser, and more annoying things. This is
my ten minutes of me time,so you can put up and shut up,
you know what I mean. Soit's the safe space. Yeah.
(41:50):
Do you know who this neighbor is? Not a fucking clue? No,
you never met that. It's rightabove you, the upstairs neighbor. No.
I do my absolute best to notknow anybody in the apartment building.
Well, they highlight like each likea good tenant in your building. Do
you think it's one of those guys, the guy with the puppy. Oh
god, it better not be him, because his picture makes him look like
(42:12):
the nice guy in the entire world. And if he's flipping his floppers up
there, I'm gonna kill I'm gonnakill him. He's sitting Just to give
you a picture of this, He'ssitting with this like nice blanket or robe,
I can't really tell, wrapped aroundhis arms with this little tiny dog
that's clearly posed and smiling at thecamera at the perfect moment. It like
(42:32):
it could be a modeling photo forsome I don't know, blanket company.
Maybe. Oh yeah. My complextries very very hard to really provide a
space where you can like meet people, and I actually really appreciate it about
it. Once a month they havelike happy hour mixers at the building,
(42:54):
where like they provide drinks and it'sjust to meet your neighbors and get to
know people. There's always like aconstant influx of new people to the I
think a lot of people who moveinto my building are not from this area,
Like we're a we all seem tobe transplants from the people that I've
talked to. Okay, so it'slike, oh, did you just move
(43:15):
in? Do you like it?How long have you been here? And
it's usually like, oh, Istarted a new job two weeks ago,
I'm from Chicago or I'm from Pennsylvania. Whatever it is, So it's not
like a lot of Michiganders there.But they do this thing in our elevators
where they feature a tenant to giveyou information about them and be like meet
your neighbors. Yeah, it's mybiggest fear to be one of those.
(43:37):
I want it so bad. IfI could vote that in I would vote
that you are the tenant of themonth. No in August. And I
love the people who work for myproperty and they do a really great system
where they have like a text messagingsystem where I don't have to call them
and bother them if I have aquestion, but I can shoot a text
and usually within the hour they'll respondand my well you uh, you were
(44:01):
there. They had like a petmixer two weeks ago for it was great
the Detroit Oh, the Detroit AnimalShelter, and they were doing an adoption
event because they're moving and they're tryingto move the as few animals as possible.
Great, but if you had apet, they said, you know,
bring your current pets too, andwe'll have this at the dog park.
(44:23):
I couldn't make it to the event. My property manager like left me
a goodie bag at my door becauseshe knows that I have a dog.
That guy just I love where Ilive. Yeah, that's incredible. Like
what if you go to this mixeror one of the mixers or whatever and
you see a guy with these loudass flippy floppies on and he's just flapping
around walking. Are you gonna steerclear of this guy? Or are you
(44:45):
talking to him? Now? Iwalk up and I go, do you
live in Unit bee? And whenhe goes, how do you know?
I'm gonna go? I could?I know? Those loud ass feet had
to be yours. You got touse the word like a like an old
bridge, like lot hoppers. Iknew those clod hoppers were yours. Are
you wearing wooden clogging shoes or onyour apartment at ten thirty at night every
(45:07):
night? What does he sing?What is his What is his song?
What do you mean? What didn'tyou say he was singing or he was
just talking? Oh? No,he was singing. What was he singing?
It was like a radio song?Oh it was Jack Harlowe's on one.
Because I heard this, because youcould me, I was like,
(45:28):
that's the part everybody knows. Sameboy, the whole part of me want
I'd be like, uncle, aredo you think it was a because there's
a different there's a different version ofsinging that song. It's singing the song
in the shower where he's just kindof feeling or whatever, or the shower's
not on and he's looking at himselfin the mirror, and then you know,
(45:50):
he's doing a little dancing. Yeah, he's doing a little little dancing
day hell, Captain Max. Andhere's the other thing I realized when I
could hear him. Now. Ican't complain about his stomping, because if
he stomps around at ten thirty atnight, that's one thing. But if
I'm belting at the top of mylungs every day at four in the morning
and he hasn't bitched about me,I owe you one. Yeah, that's
(46:12):
true. That's how that is true. I wonder, I wonder what the
craziest thing somebody's heard while like throughthe walls or in the bathroom. I
get sex. People probably hear thatall the time. But there's got to
be other things. This guy,I means singing's hilarious, especially if if
you're doing show tunes at four thirtyin the morning, three thirty in the
morning, like I'm bat he tellspeople that all the time. My psychopathic
(46:36):
neighbor, who's going to be aloneher entire life, Ah sings the same
song every morning in the shower likea psychopath. She's got a routine.
I think she kills people just likeyou have envisioned with this. It's a
guy, right, This guy lookslike I'm sure he's envisioned what you look
(47:00):
like as well. I've never meta woman who walked with such heavy flat
feet. It has to be aman, because we all know the guy.
You know exactly what it's how Ienvision keV walks. Kev's actually my
neighbor. Donnie says her husband usedto hold his ear up to the walls
(47:21):
when when they were in apartments andthe neighbors would argue. I am up
for a good argument. If Ihear some loud noises and it's like an
escalated like eh, and then itgoes down, I'm one hundred percent both
my ear on that wall. Itold you about my neighbors at my old
house in Toledo, right, mm oh, my god. There was
(47:42):
more drama at that house than there'sever been an apartment building with eight hundred
other residents and it kills me thatI don't have the drama, because I
would love a good topic every nowand then. But my neighbor's in Toledo.
At the house that I used tolive in, it was grandparents that
lived in a house, and theywere always on their back do entertaining people,
and most of the time it wasfamily members, but they would always
(48:04):
get super drunk, super early inthe day, so at like four pm,
everybody was chefast. And I justremember one day he goes, you're
such a seaword, grandma, iswhat he screamed. And we had like
the screen doors open like that they'renot open, but like the doors open,
and the screen doors and my brotherand I were sitting in the living
(48:25):
room and immediately we're like, Ithink it's time to go outside. I
mean, you need to relocate immediately. Something fun is happening. And so
I think, I uh, justgrabbed my buck and went outside the sunbathe
for a little bit, and Iheard grandpa go, don't you call my
wife a sea word? And hegoes, tell your bitch ass wife,
(48:49):
And I was like that those areyour grandparents, and everybody is slurring and
stumbling, and he walked home becauseGrandpa took his keys, and I was
like, man, I live forthis. It's better than television. Oh
yeah, that's a that's to getyour phone on your phone, get your
phone, and get your phone onbecause you don't know what's gonna happen.
You don't know what's gonna happen.Absolutely did that. What ended up happening.
(49:12):
You just walked home. You walkedhome, and they talked about how
this is why he doesn't get invitedover for the holidays. Oh my god,
this is so good living for it. I literally lived for the drama
because, let's be honest, Ihave the exact same feeling about some of
my family members, but I don'tscream it at them when I get drunk,
no or in public. Usually it'sI'm not a I'm not a public
(49:36):
fighter. But I've never I don'tthink I've ever called anybody a sea word.
I wish I have, but Ihaven't me either. You're a liar
you did today. I'm sure itis one of my favorite words. I
just think it's it conveys a messagethat is very clear. It does like
you even call somebody a bitch andthen be like, is she a bitch
(49:57):
because you don't really get along.Is she really a nasty person? Do
you just not see eye on things? Like? It can apply to somebody.
But if you call somebody the seaword, they know exactly what you
mean, they know how you feelexactly. They don't like they don't like
that person. No miscommunication there.Yeah, but there's some There is something
different about a public fight, notlike even sometimes physical. But I don't
(50:20):
I don't need just a good argumentin public is just thet I'll stop what
I'm doing. I could be ina hurry to get somewhere late for something
already. You see somebody start yellingin a produce aisle, I'm immediately stopping
immediately or slowing down and pretending likeI have to grab something. I mean,
(50:40):
there's that, but I don't thinkthere's any space that's better in the
world. And unfortunately, Mike,you've never experienced this, but the bar
bathroom at one am, when agirl is fighting with somebody. Now it
can be another woman who's not currentlyin the bathroom, But if she walks
in and that conversation immediately stops,everybody in that bathroom now knows who she's
having that argument with. Because we'renot going to have that discussion around her.
(51:07):
Those are always interesting because it couldbe like we're at a birthday party,
right, and we're all friends withthe same birthday girl, but I
don't like you, but we're allat this party. Those are my favorite
conversations to walk in in. Theonly thing that's better is a drunk girl
who's fighting with a guy who's beingin tooosh bang and she comes in the
bathroom to cry, and every personin that bathroom creates a wall of solidarity
(51:30):
and understanding around her. And wedon't need to know what he did.
We didn't. We don't need toknow if he's right or wrong. We
don't need to know what she didto instigate anything. We just all know
he's wrong and you're right and youdeserve better. Those are my two favorite
(51:51):
things to happen in a woman's bathroom. But drunk public fights are the best,
especially when the other person isn't eveninvolved in the fight. It's just
a communal effort of hatred towards aperson we've never met. It's bus ultimate
bonding experience. What is the piscesand what is the cancer? We have
no idea what that says about them, We're sure it's not good. It's
(52:12):
a slightly messy show with Megan andMine. I love that one.
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