Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:04):
Let me know when you're ready.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I bet that's a good start.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
This is Tanner, Drew and Laura's Donkey Show.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Donkey Show.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Yeah, whoa, Yeah, what's happened to him?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
That's the one he's just stretching. Probably, Yeah, that's what
I do, and I have to feel so good sometimes
it's stren It's Tanner, Drew and Laura's Donkey Show podcast
heard online at one of five nine, the prew dot
com or Rightheart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
I'm Tanner drews here, Laura's here bus dress, Marcus is
here and earlier on the show today we were discussing
(00:45):
the eleven eleven phrases that men don't want to hear
a woman's say yes, and the number one, Marcus, if
you missed it, was man up. Men don't want to
hear their woman say man up to them.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
I could see that. I don't think that's something my
wife's ever said to me before, but I would if
I was already seeing red and she dropped that one,
I don't know how i'd react.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah, I definitely think it's fair to say to a
guy who's acting like a little bitch. I think when
a girl tells you to man up, and if you're
being legitimately a bitch, I think it's I think it
kind of snaps you out of it. It should snap
you out of it, like, oh I am being a
little bitch, a little girl, or this girl just told me.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
But I also feel like you should never move to
the point of emasculating somebody because I feel like that
takes a deeper take.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
Yeah, yeah, like that there's a fight or flight that
might happen there if he dropped that, like Marcus just said,
I don't know how i'd react as then I might
just flip a table.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Yeah, but I don't see Marcus acting like a full child.
Well I would hope not a couple times he's asked out,
but you know, for the most parties. But sure, But
I'm saying like, there's got to be like a guy
that does ass out, you know, and every once in
a while a girl has to tell him to man up.
And I feel like that's fair, you know, only when
you are truly being a child.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Like okay, so here's here's And I know you have
a rachnophobia, so I knew you were going to ask this,
but like, because I'm pretty sure you've told a story
about how you had your girlfriend like kill a spider.
Speaker 7 (02:11):
Used to go get her if she would woke her.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, if she would have said, man up, do it yourself,
what would you have done?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
I probably would have done it because that would have
made me feel like.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Lept in my car, left it never came back.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
I feel like a pussy, and I would The only
way to overcome it is just doing it right. So
I would probably have done it, and I would have
worn the shame and would never have talked about it again.
I killed the spider, would never bring it up again.
But I think I would have done.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
It the president right, Think about the precedent that sets,
because now the next time you're like, hey, there's no
toilet paper in the bathroom, can you grab me a roll?
Oh man, it's like okay, now we're pulling it out
just a little bit too.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Yeah, that's not fair.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Nobody wants to do that. Walk yeah, closet to get
the toilet paper.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
You know, she didn't like spiders either, but I just
liked him a little less she liked him. I liked
them a little less than she did.
Speaker 6 (03:01):
I guess No one's stoked to be woken up to
do that, even if you are that you.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Woke her up.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Bro, it was so big. It was like it was
like the size of a sand dollar. And I had
a big body and it was furry. It was carrying
a boom box cardboard to break dance.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
It sounds cute to me.
Speaker 7 (03:17):
And yeah, you wouldn't have been able to sleep in
there with that thing I have.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
I'll admit I've gotten better with the spiders. Like I
see him at my house all the time and I
don't panic. As a matter of fact, I flicked one
not too long ago. I've done this a few times.
It's usually what I'm drinking, but the little chores light
helps and I'll just.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Flick liquid courage a long way.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
If I lose the weight loss competition, maybe I'll just
get a little drunk before the show that day.
Speaker 7 (03:39):
Yeah, then you'll be good whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
You'll try to flick the transhil and I'll just go things.
It won't even move.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Wears it in the chest.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
It's got boxing. It's got boxing.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
So uh anyway, Yeah, I woke her up, and I
remember when I woke her up, and I go, babe,
you got to kill the spider. For me, it's the
biggest fucking spider I've ever seen in this house. And
she goes, oh my god. She kind of like rolled
her eyes like are you serious, But she got up
and did it, and when she saw it, she went,
oh Jesus yeah, And so it was big.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
And because her reaction, her reaction scared me, you know, like,
oh it is that big.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
See.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I don't think anyone would ever ask me to do
that because I live in a no kill household, so
it would be going right outside. Honestly, I'd take the
time to put it on like a piece of paper.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I'm just coming right back.
Speaker 6 (04:25):
I mean, maybe not at your house, but like, you
have to attack these things when they're inside. The other day,
the same thing you said that sound Tanner that. So
I was in the bathroom doing my thing and I
look and I actually cleaned myself up, wash my hands,
and I turn around and look right into my shower
and the spider was so big that I went, oh,
like a hole. And through the door you hear Josie
(04:49):
come to the crack and go what was that?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Dad? What's happening in there?
Speaker 6 (04:52):
And I'm like, wow, did I make a whimper so
loud she heard it throw a wood door, like your
daughter's on it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, you just hear Josie on the outside be like,
man up.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
Dad, Yeah, And I gotta I gotta admit the bathroom
stunt because they've just gone to the bathroom, you know.
So I'm like, does anyone want to see the spider?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
It stinks in here? So each one of them came
in with like a shirt over their face.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
And like, oh, both to me and the spider.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, spider has it had its shirt over its face.
I'm pretty sure that's but.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
So you know, it got it got absolutely decimated and
a swirly death in my toilet.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
But if a woman told me to man up, I
could see myself manning up, just because it's like, oh geez,
even if even if it pissed me off, it's like, okay,
she's right, I got I got got a But.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Like it's not fair.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Like if we're like, okay, let's all jump off this
cliff and I decide, you know what, I'm forty something.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I don't want to jump off this clip.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Man up. That's different, dude. I don't want to be dumb.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Yeah, but I but I could see if you said
it to me in front of everyone, I'm probably gonna jump.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
I got like I'm a ten year old idiot.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah, that's why you.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Can't say that to us.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
We'll just break. So if Drew's friends drop off a bridge,
he's someone, says man. And we were talking about this
before the day he's paralyzed. We were talking about this
before the Donkey Show podcast, Like I'd feel terrible if
like I couldn't get an erection in. Like, let's say
me and my girlfriend are trying to hook up and
I got man there and she said, just man up.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Oh that that's like absolutely crushed man soft.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Yeah, man soft. And this happened to me once. So
a girl it was just I don't know how long
it was ten years ago, maybe it's.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Got to be more than ten.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Been here, I've been here for ten oh jeez, fifteen fifteen,
fifteen years ago. Maybe, so I was kind of hanging
out with this girl and we hadn't hooked. We've done
we did everything else, but we hadn't done the full
A fiddling, a lot of fiddling, a lot of what
is a phonication, fun and play fornication would be the deed. Yeah, okay,
that was where we were headed. Oh yeah, all right,
(06:49):
so just have four in town. Yeah, just a lot
of four play. And then so she came over one
night just wearing a trench coat. And see in the movies,
I didn't know she was going to do this. You
just showed up wearing a trench coat and that's it.
And I and you know, like I was, I was
so hot for this girl, you know what I mean,
she to me, she was super gorgeous, and I just
(07:11):
couldn't do it. I don't know what I panicked. I
don't know what happened, but it was the worst feeling ever.
And the way she reacted made feel even worse, like
she was wow, wow, I just came over here in
a trench coat and you can't even get it up.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Because imagine how bad she felt.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
But it's not her fault. It was not her fault
at all. I was definitely horny. I just couldn't.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Yeah, not everybody expects to just have an inspector gadget causeplay,
show up on the porch naked underneath and ready to
do the deed.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Give me a little bit of a warning, like every
woman would assume that's like, that's like every dude's dream.
But you guys are like that it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
Yeah, you're kind of eating up the dream too, if
you think that it's that easy, because I mean, it's
as simple as Also, who knows what condition you're in, Like,
am I clean and.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Ready to party?
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I was clean, but I and I was totally sober,
and maybe that was But who knows if you would
just on a bike ride or something, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I do think that it's a bold move just to
show up that well, like I would never have the
courage to do that.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Listen, I love you. I don't know why it hit
me that day where it just because I really liked
this chicken. She was really hot and I just got
in my head, and also she was I was super nervous,
and also she was also kind of dating somebody else,
and that was also in my head.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, you don't know where you're at. You don't know
what the deal is when it comes to people who.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
I mean, I did, I will say in my defense,
I did make up for it later. I made up
for it to come back.
Speaker 7 (08:37):
It was named Comeback Player of the Year. It was incredible.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
The amazing thing about these these Wiener pills that they're
prescribing online. Now, the majority of the people who are
prescribed and don't have a rectile dysfunction, No, they have anxiety.
And so like, even when we were trying to conceive
our first child, there's so much anxiety with we got
to keep doing this and are you we're missing this
population wind doing And it's just like that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It's a little different version, but it's.
Speaker 6 (09:05):
The same thing that would build up in my brain
and then you miss a month and it's like, am
I do it?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Does the seed not work?
Speaker 6 (09:11):
And so I just got to a point where I
didn't know how much it was gonna cost, but I
think I got six cy alis, which.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Was probably seven hundred dollars at the time.
Speaker 6 (09:20):
It was brutal, but I originally was prescribed thirty, and
I whittled it down to say.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Yeah, the same thing happened to me. My doctor gave
me a prescription and I went and said, oh, just
just give me all that that he said, you know,
like thirty or whatever. Have many and the ended up
coming like four or five hundred bucks. And I was like,
I'll do I'll do four of those and the wait
all that I just get Blue Choo now because Blue
Cheo is a rad and get them off the internet.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
And they're and like, they have some really cool options now.
And to be able to not have to wait for
the pills pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You know.
Speaker 6 (09:48):
The whole thing is it And it's just funny because
as soon as I was in a situation where I
wasn't worried about it, it wasn't a problem.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
When I'm as long as I'm not worried, I can
be everything.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
It is fine.
Speaker 5 (10:01):
Well, Drew, I'm sure it was a little tough when
every single negative pregnancy test that Amy handed you, she went.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Man up.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Mine, it does skill the sperm count.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
Yeah, I was dwindling, Like I think the one that
was left got through it.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
But yeah, I get it from her perspective that it
makes her feel bad, but it made me feel bad
like her. You know, this is a normal thing that
happens to guys. It sucks that it happened right now,
but it does happen. Yeah, and I made up for it,
but like she made me feel for like a two weeks,
I felt really shitty because we didn't hook up for
like another two weeks after that, because we come.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It over next.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
I thought for a little bit there I wasn't gonna
be able to make up for it, and luckily I
got a few chances.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
But anybody, any dude who's worn't their own dirt, knows
that you've let the girl down. I mean, they don't
have to rub it in for me to know I've
let you down.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I promise you just hear you.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Feel the body like yeah, and there, and they're the
nicest ones. They're acting for you to oh it's okay,
and you're like, no, you got all naked for me,
which is rare.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
And now we're doing this.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Yeah, ever experienced this, Laura, Oh sorry, before you go,
let Marcus do.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
I was just gonna say that. I think that ninety
nine times out of one hundred, when this happens to
any given guy, it's not the girl, Like, it's just
not you.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
We're already there.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
We look, if we had the choice, we'd snap our
fingers and this thing would work. It's not because of
what's standing in front of me here. It's because of
what's going on in the six inches between my ears. Like, yeah,
I can swing a golf club, but I can't fucking
swing it today and I don't know why.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
If you have that, if you have whiskey. Whiskey Dick
is another one, you know.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Yeah, alcohol is to blame the when it's not it's
anxiety or alcohol.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
It's the two ways.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Yeah, I've I've definitely blamed it on alcohol once when
like I maybe I wasn't feeling it or I just
you know, I don't know what. Maybe it was that
today the alcohol I just said, you know, I'm just
a little too drunk, I.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Know myself, and there's a level of buzz that I
won't even I won't even try attempt, you know, because
I'm just like, well, it might work, but I am
risking that moment, and so we'll do it.
Speaker 7 (12:01):
And if you're married, you're like, we'll do it tomorrow instead.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, reschedule.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
One of my favorite things is to is drunk sex.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Though I.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Drunk sex, there's a window where it works great, it's
just there's a there's a path too far right.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Uh So, Yeah, Laura, do you ever experience anything like
this where a guy couldn't get it up?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
And yeah, I mean, like I feel like it happens.
It's not that uncommon. And I think when you I
think with the person that you're described, like if it
just happens and you're just like hanging out and you
start hooking up on the couch or whatever the case
may be, and you've been drinking, that's one thing. But
when you, as a woman, put time and effort into Okay,
(12:41):
this is going to be really special. He's gonna love this,
and then he can't perform. That's I think when it
feels for me more like oh my god, like I
just did all this stuff and it's not good enough,
you know. So it's like even if he says, oh,
it's not you, it's not you, it's like.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
They're gonna take it like it is.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It feels like it though, because and I also feel
like we've been socialized to believe that, and I do
think this is probably true more times than not. But
like men, it's easy for you, Like for me, it's
like everybody's different, and it's like you got to figure
out how each individual person works and what each individual
person likes. But man, it's like if you create enough friction,
(13:23):
stuff's gonna happen, you know. So like when it doesn't, you're.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Like, man, sometimes it is a strong breath's.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Like what am I doing wrong? That? Like I can't
like get this dude to where he needs.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
But you know, and from your perspective, I totally understand that.
But just know the time, it's it's all And.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I'm usually super chill about it because it's like I
get it. It happens.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
The friction rule I think applies when we're nineteen, you know,
because it's like, no matter where my brain's at when
I was nineteen, it's just like Arah, but you're maybe
we overthink things more as we get older and like
you know, self conscious about this or that. Yeah, just
the fear of once you've had it not work once,
there's always that fear that it.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Can have again.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Sometimes I get boner's too much and I want to
take a pill that keeps me from getting a boner
you got overbone? Sometimes overbone they a boner those those places.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
While they have the Wiener pill for the standard operation,
they also have the one that is like a number.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
You know, so like you say, maybe you won't come
as fast you like you are.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
A two pump chump, but this makes you just thirty
one pump condom.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I should take care of it, right.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
Yeah, that that would honestly, if you want to have
that apology in the middle, remember, yeah, that's how I
thought it.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Was going to work.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
That's how the soft parade begins.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Soft, I can't feel it.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Damn listen, kids, if you're young and dumb, use condoms absolutely,
But god.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I know married couples who.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Still Howard Stern still uses a condom of his wife,
which is crazy.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
It's one of the great benefits of being married is
to not do that raw dogging.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, we're just get a damn sect to me, like
Howard Stern.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
Well, dude, my friend my friends in Eugene got a
vasectomy and his wife got her tubes tied and they
still got pregnancy. That is an anomal that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That is wild. That's Jesus also, and also that's medical malpractice,
like I would be suing somebody so fucking fast.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
But some of those things side a thing that says
it is not.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Why I think that the tubes tied though, that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
But to haven't both done and yeah still get pregnant,
to me, maybe there's some case there. But at the
same time, I could also see them saying like well
you know, uh, or like maybe he get snipped and
it can still happen.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Well, and maybe because you do have to wait, there's
a period of time that you have to wait.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Maybe did it too early?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (15:42):
And how about this when Laura sues that doctor for
her kid coming and then litigation lasts and tell your
child's about five, and you're like, so why are you
suing the doctor?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Oh, because you're here.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Rebecca, because you were an accident.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Because you're born. It would be a tough, tough thing.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But then once the litigation does go through and I
win the case, that kid's gonna have the best.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Life, Like I figured you would put her up for adoption,
enjoy the money.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
No, you're done, Ceilia.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
But I'll never forget the moment when I couldn't get
it up and that girl reacted that way, and I
just felt so terrible. And I remember I went to
a friend's house either that night or the next night,
and I told him about it, and he looked at
me like, bro, that was the worst thing. That was
the worst stay I've ever heard. And he made me
feel even worse, like I was trying to like looking
(16:35):
for a buddy to give me some help, like, hey,
it's happened.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It happens, you know whatever, But everyone knows that.
Speaker 6 (16:39):
I mean, well, and that was long enough ago to
where half your friends hadn't had to go through that.
Yet once they do, they don't say that to anyone else.
Like the first time it happens, you're like, Okay, I
get it that it happens and it's over.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
You always got that buddy.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
We could have soft in the middle Tacos and talked
about it.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, because everyone's get that buddy, old Tacos.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Who's never done it wrong. That's the guy who's apologized
more than anyone.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Yeah, well, there's there, it is.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I mean, it's okay, though, you guys. I'm just gonna
I'm gonna say this for everyone listening. It's okay. I
appreciate it, feel bad. I appreciates unless it's a chronic
problem and then maybe, you know, go get that taken
care of. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Yeah, if you're if it's once and a once, like
once in a year or twice a year or whatever,
but if you're doing it all the time over.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
And over again, then I'm gonna you're gonna.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Like, are you watching too much porn?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Yeah? Are you desensitized.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, no, no, no, I've been definitely with people who
not only was it it took so long, and also
like the shapes that they try to put you in.
It's like joy look like a fucking pretzel.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Like I sprayed everything that's real, that's not know, some
of the positions are look crazy. I have a hard
time the last two months or three months or however long.
It's been having a hard time finishing because I'm on
a medication and the first thing that it affects is.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Your Oh I've got the same thing end of the road.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
So I can get there, but and it's way more extreme.
But dude, it takes me a little like probably five
to ten minutes longer than normally. Woe and it's a bitch.
But you know, the medications are helping me because they're
like anti anxiety antidepressant type meds. Yeah, and I feel
so much for.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Your head up here. It's not so good.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah, yeah, I can still get hard on the problem.
It's just like, yeah, it just takes me forever.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
You can satisfy the partner, You just would like to
join them at the finish.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
And that's where fak and it comes in. I'm Casey
case Yes, Marcus. I don't know why through the case.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
That one threw me for a loop too, But I
think the medication should advertise itself you won't finish and
you won't care, because it kind of sounds like you're
won't you won't have anxiety about it anymore.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
It's not actually gonna Yeah, And the doctor said that,
like the main side effect is like, you know, it
affects your sexual performance. And I was like, damn, I've
been on pills that done this, have done this before,
and I kind of knew to expect this time, so
I was just like whatever, Yeah, but it's it's not
the worst thing because when you do get it, it's
it's way more intense. But uh, it is a bitch
man like especially when you're tired and hot, you can
(19:10):
tell she's done. Yeah, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
It's like, yeah, that is a very for me. It's
like there's a it's a relatively short window where it's
like when I'm either done or I've decided I'm finished. Yeah,
and it's just like a right, our Lord strikes me
as atokie, let's wrap this up. Oh yeah, because I
want to go watch TV.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
When when the meter is running for me, I know
all the sciences. Oh God, here we go, Come on,
just don't be left.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
There's there's one time I knew I just passed the
passed the market and or whatever I did, and I
I just said, it's not gonna happen for me, babe tonight.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I've definitely done that many times.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
I've just I've just had to be like, I'm going
to give you the grace here of me stopping.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
And it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
I do get blue balls sometimes when that happens, but
I mean girls.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Get blue balls too.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Really.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yeah, So what's it like? What's it feel like?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I mean I don't, I don't know. I mean, what's
it feel like for you guys?
Speaker 4 (20:09):
I mean it was just well just kind of throb
like ag. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I mean we get a little pulsation going on in
there too, where it's like we really were counting on
you and you just left his hang in there.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
I guess it makes sense, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
I mean, it's basically the same equipment.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Everyone's shape. Just where are you putting them?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Yeah, we all remember this so well. It's like this
memory seared into my mind. But I was in eighth grade.
I took a girl of the movies. We made out
for the whole movies, just like eighth graders would, right.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Ye.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
I've never touched any part of each other's bodies because
we were too prude at the time. And I had
to walk home that night, and I lived up a
big hill, and the Blue Balls was so bad that
it took like twice as long. And this was before
cell phones, so my parents were like wondering where the
hell I was. They knew where the movies when the
movie got out, they knew when I should have been home.
My ass was limping up the hill because I could
(20:59):
barely because my ball's hurt so bad. I've never heard
a woman say something like that before.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I mean, it's I've never been like limping down the street.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
I have. I've I've hobbled around when my ball's hurt
because I didn't bust.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
It feels like you just got kicked in the balls
and that pain just won't go away. It's just lingering
there is what it felt like to me.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
There was one time, and I told the story back
on the air and Eugene when I went down. I
was living in Portland, went to Salem to meet a girl.
I thought we were gonna hook up. We never actually
never hooked up. So on the way back, I was
so worked up that I jerked off in the car
while we were driving into a JanSport backpack. Oh crap,
I had just cleaned out my car. Backpack was mine.
(21:41):
I just cleaned out my car and there was nothing
in there except for the backpack, and it was empty.
Here we go and I just just didn't know what
else to do.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
So and then I used that backpack for the next
four years.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
It's got that leather bottom. You know, you don't just
throw those out.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Yeah, I think it went into the bag.
Speaker 6 (21:56):
Well, the whole base of the jans support is this
one big leather slash that's all soggy.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, it is swayed.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
O'll soaker, But I you know, I do. My balls
were aching and I had to take care of it.
As a matter of fact, I just read this. Listen
to this. I just read this last night. Stopping masturbation
may increase depression and stress.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
So what that means, I think that's in the middle
of it.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
What that means is if you're super sad and you
beat off all the time, you better not stop.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Yeah right, And this article starts off by saying, just
beat it. There, beat it.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Send that to your girlfriend when she walks in on
you doing.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
That's not what they told me at church.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
Yeah right, they told me I was going to go blind.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yeah, they had different paperwork.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Well, a new study seems to confirm most of us
already knew deep down in our in our in our loins.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Sexual pleasure is a boom for the body and the mind,
and denying yourself that pleasure in a bad way is
very bad in many ways, they say. Of course, a
survey commissioned by the makers of a popular vibrator, the
Magic wand.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Oh man, what a blessing.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
They're the ones who said this. But the statistics do
seem to be real Ande citing a shift towards sexual
wellness in general, understanding that sex, toy uses and pleasure
can have a positive impact. It representative for the makers
of the Personal Pleasure AID said in a written statement
that the company's goal was to collect significant data that
shows the real impact of that self love can have
(23:19):
on people's lives. They, I guess studied one thousand women
or participants you know. With that kind of plumbing. Yes,
and they found that they asked them to track their
quality of life over a three week period. Interesting, they say,
the game guinea pigs were introduced. The game guinea pigs
(23:41):
were introduced to adhere to one week absence one week
of daily magic wand use.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
See that this is just them trying to sell.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
They're going to sell some ones.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
But see what I mean, great investment ladies. If you
don't have one, get one.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
But there is some serious truth to the fact that, like,
think about anything that gives you true pleasure or euphoria,
mostly as a drug or an alcohol or sex, and
sex is the only one out of all of them
that doesn't have an adverse effect. After you get drunk,
you get hung over, you get high, you get low,
you do meth, you you know, crash out like that
(24:20):
doesn't happen with sex, especially you recenter and to throw
all those positive chemicals into your body have got to
be helping your mental state, especially.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
When you're by yourself, because I would I would argue
that if you're having sex with the stranger afterwards, you
might have.
Speaker 7 (24:38):
Bad decisions lead to bad feelings for sure.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Across the board, a week without the study show that
across the board, a week without pleasure reportedly triggered a
drop and a quality of a quality of life measures
including happiness, body image, confidence, and relationship connection. And you know, Drew,
you've said this, like you know, like you you, you
and your wife will hook up and all of a
sudden you feel like you're on the same page again.
Speaker 6 (25:01):
Yeah, I think there's an animal instinct involved in the
whole thing that if you go too long without like
you do it like just the geographics of summertime, you
do it less because your kids are ever present, and
you know you don't have I mean, it's not like
that you don't feel in love with each other, but
it's not the same as when you're you're hitting those
(25:22):
benchmarks every week or every.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Couple of just clapping cheeks every day.
Speaker 6 (25:25):
Yeah, and just that for a couple of days after
you do it, even you know that you're connected at
least on that level.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
Well, they say, just like an apple and orgasm a
day will keep the doctor away.
Speaker 6 (25:36):
You know, I'm going to start preaching that in the
closed room conversations.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
They yeah, like you hear what they said about that.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
It does sound exhausting a little bit lower, but you
don't always have to have those with other people.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, yeah, that's what That's what I was going to say,
Like Zach Amy's like, Amy's like, all right, you're right,
an orgasm a day. So you know what I want
for Christmas? Magic wi Yeah I read that too.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I sent you a link.
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Yeah, then I'm backfire on me.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I want the pink one.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Never did it again.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
What's funny for me is that all this, like you know,
self help is like a popular thing. That's where a
lot of these studies come from. Love yourself. You know,
you should be doing this, you shouldn't be doing this.
There will be another study that I read later this afternoon,
just because we talked about this, it'll show up in
my feet that says you should stop masturbating once a day,
that it's way too much. You're getting addicted to the
(26:25):
dope meat hit. Yeah, and or you know, and like
is their merit to that as well? Like which one
of these arguments are right? And it is it different
for me at forty than it is for a nineteen
year old.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
That's say, if you're in your forties and you can
still bust every day, good for you, you know, like
who cares.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
And I think that even whether it's ever, if every
day is exhausting to you, or if it's every other
day or whatever it is, I think it's also good
to keep your plumbing flowing.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Yeah, they say the same reason why you need to pee,
you know, they say, like Christian people will tell you
that it's bad to masturbate. Like when I was in
the church, you're wasting your seat, I was gonna go.
But I mean, scientifically, it is actually good to get
that out.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I do think though, if if you are in a
committed relationship, and I don't know this but I and
I guess you could see this in a good way
or a bad way. But it's like you don't want
to become desensitized to the point where like now you're
with your partner and it's taking too long or what
you know. So I feel like there's a fine line there. Yeah,
(27:25):
like maybe not every day, but don't wait too long.
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
I will go in waves like sometimes I'll do it
every day and then I won't do it for a
little bit, you know, And usually it's to help me
go to sleep. Oh yeah, you know, I'll just just
fap one off and go right to bed. But sometimes
like then, because lately I haven't really been doing it.
You know, well you have.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
When you've been hanging with a lady. That definitely lowers
your numbers.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
I have found that I'm in a much better mood
when it is consistent. The sex absolutely just so much
happier and I'm less stressed.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And also when you're spending time with so when you
enjoy being with you know, it's regardless.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
I feel like when you have a connection.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
With combo makes a big you should try having them
over and then you're just masturbating on the other side
of a door. You can get it all. Guys, just there,
there are you out there?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I'm here weird.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I read an article.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
It was really interesting.
Speaker 6 (28:23):
All right, well I have to pee now that we've
all gone on a spank circle.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Yeah, it's like the.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Good old days.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
What should we call this episode? Like something FAPs FAP something.
Speaker 6 (28:38):
New fat city, new New.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I think it has been written.
Speaker 6 (28:48):
This stuff's made new FAPs, fawn FAP town.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
You as a.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
What's your suggestion?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Ah?
Speaker 5 (28:56):
Man, these are good. It's it's really hard to uh
because you know the the joke here and not to
explain it Drew and ruin it for you. But the
joke is New Jack City, and it sounds so much
better with New fac City. I'm just gonna put my
ball in that court.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
I'm going with.
Speaker 7 (29:10):
Ball as long as it's not what are you putting
one ball or both?
Speaker 5 (29:15):
I'm putting the whole sack of them.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Two testicles, two whole testies.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
M M all right, and they're swollen too.
Speaker 7 (29:25):
Has a bit of an elephant left, is what I heard.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Oh wow, that was an old football injury. But it's
a fun party trick.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
All right.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
We'll see tomorrow. If you're listening to this on July ninth. Wednesday,
July ninth, we're gonna have more passes to go see
comedian Jeremy Piven tomorrow at seven thirty.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Listening you've been listening to Tanner, Drew and Laura's Donkey Show,
heard daily at one oh five nine that brew dot com.
May God have mercy on all of our souls.
Let me know when you're ready.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
I bet that's a good start.
Speaker 3 (00:07):
This is Tanner, Drew and Laura's Donkey Show.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Donkey Show.
Speaker 2 (00:13):
Yeah, whoa, Yeah, what's happened to him?
Speaker 4 (00:25):
That's the one he's just stretching. Probably, Yeah, that's what
I do, and I have to feel so good sometimes
it's stren It's Tanner, Drew and Laura's Donkey Show podcast
heard online at one of five nine, the prew dot
com or Rightheart Radio app or wherever you listen to podcasts.
I'm Tanner drews here, Laura's here bus dress, Marcus is
here and earlier on the show today we were discussing
(00:45):
the eleven eleven phrases that men don't want to hear
a woman's say yes, and the number one, Marcus, if
you missed it, was man up. Men don't want to
hear their woman say man up to them.
Speaker 5 (00:56):
I could see that. I don't think that's something my
wife's ever said to me before, but I would if
I was already seeing red and she dropped that one,
I don't know how i'd react.
Speaker 4 (01:06):
Yeah, I definitely think it's fair to say to a
guy who's acting like a little bitch. I think when
a girl tells you to man up, and if you're
being legitimately a bitch, I think it's I think it
kind of snaps you out of it. It should snap
you out of it, like, oh I am being a
little bitch, a little girl, or this girl just told me.
Speaker 3 (01:22):
You know.
Speaker 2 (01:23):
But I also feel like you should never move to
the point of emasculating somebody because I feel like that
takes a deeper take.
Speaker 6 (01:32):
Yeah, yeah, like that there's a fight or flight that
might happen there if he dropped that, like Marcus just said,
I don't know how i'd react as then I might
just flip a table.
Speaker 4 (01:43):
Yeah, but I don't see Marcus acting like a full child.
Well I would hope not a couple times he's asked out,
but you know, for the most parties. But sure, But
I'm saying like, there's got to be like a guy
that does ass out, you know, and every once in
a while a girl has to tell him to man up.
And I feel like that's fair, you know, only when
you are truly being a child.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Like okay, so here's here's And I know you have
a rachnophobia, so I knew you were going to ask this,
but like, because I'm pretty sure you've told a story
about how you had your girlfriend like kill a spider.
Speaker 7 (02:11):
Used to go get her if she would woke her.
Speaker 2 (02:14):
Yeah, if she would have said, man up, do it yourself,
what would you have done?
Speaker 4 (02:18):
I probably would have done it because that would have
made me feel like.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
Lept in my car, left it never came back.
Speaker 4 (02:25):
I feel like a pussy, and I would The only
way to overcome it is just doing it right. So
I would probably have done it, and I would have
worn the shame and would never have talked about it again.
I killed the spider, would never bring it up again.
But I think I would have done.
Speaker 5 (02:37):
It the president right, Think about the precedent that sets,
because now the next time you're like, hey, there's no
toilet paper in the bathroom, can you grab me a roll?
Oh man, it's like okay, now we're pulling it out
just a little bit too.
Speaker 4 (02:48):
Yeah, that's not fair.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Nobody wants to do that. Walk yeah, closet to get
the toilet paper.
Speaker 4 (02:55):
You know, she didn't like spiders either, but I just
liked him a little less she liked him. I liked
them a little less than she did.
Speaker 6 (03:01):
I guess No one's stoked to be woken up to
do that, even if you are that you.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
Woke her up.
Speaker 4 (03:07):
Bro, it was so big. It was like it was
like the size of a sand dollar. And I had
a big body and it was furry. It was carrying
a boom box cardboard to break dance.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
It sounds cute to me.
Speaker 7 (03:17):
And yeah, you wouldn't have been able to sleep in
there with that thing I have.
Speaker 4 (03:20):
I'll admit I've gotten better with the spiders. Like I
see him at my house all the time and I
don't panic. As a matter of fact, I flicked one
not too long ago. I've done this a few times.
It's usually what I'm drinking, but the little chores light
helps and I'll just.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Flick liquid courage a long way.
Speaker 4 (03:35):
If I lose the weight loss competition, maybe I'll just
get a little drunk before the show that day.
Speaker 7 (03:39):
Yeah, then you'll be good whatever.
Speaker 2 (03:40):
You'll try to flick the transhil and I'll just go things.
It won't even move.
Speaker 1 (03:45):
Wears it in the chest.
Speaker 2 (03:46):
It's got boxing. It's got boxing.
Speaker 4 (03:49):
So uh anyway, Yeah, I woke her up, and I
remember when I woke her up, and I go, babe,
you got to kill the spider. For me, it's the
biggest fucking spider I've ever seen in this house. And
she goes, oh my god. She kind of like rolled
her eyes like are you serious, But she got up
and did it, and when she saw it, she went,
oh Jesus yeah, And so it was big.
Speaker 3 (04:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (04:08):
And because her reaction, her reaction scared me, you know, like,
oh it is that big.
Speaker 1 (04:12):
See.
Speaker 2 (04:12):
I don't think anyone would ever ask me to do
that because I live in a no kill household, so
it would be going right outside. Honestly, I'd take the
time to put it on like a piece of paper.
Speaker 4 (04:24):
I'm just coming right back.
Speaker 6 (04:25):
I mean, maybe not at your house, but like, you
have to attack these things when they're inside. The other day,
the same thing you said that sound Tanner that. So
I was in the bathroom doing my thing and I
look and I actually cleaned myself up, wash my hands,
and I turn around and look right into my shower
and the spider was so big that I went, oh,
like a hole. And through the door you hear Josie
(04:49):
come to the crack and go what was that?
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Dad? What's happening in there?
Speaker 6 (04:52):
And I'm like, wow, did I make a whimper so
loud she heard it throw a wood door, like your
daughter's on it.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, you just hear Josie on the outside be like,
man up.
Speaker 6 (05:01):
Dad, Yeah, And I gotta I gotta admit the bathroom
stunt because they've just gone to the bathroom, you know.
So I'm like, does anyone want to see the spider?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
It stinks in here? So each one of them came
in with like a shirt over their face.
Speaker 6 (05:11):
And like, oh, both to me and the spider.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Yeah, spider has it had its shirt over its face.
I'm pretty sure that's but.
Speaker 6 (05:20):
So you know, it got it got absolutely decimated and
a swirly death in my toilet.
Speaker 4 (05:25):
But if a woman told me to man up, I
could see myself manning up, just because it's like, oh geez,
even if even if it pissed me off, it's like, okay,
she's right, I got I got got a But.
Speaker 1 (05:35):
Like it's not fair.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Like if we're like, okay, let's all jump off this
cliff and I decide, you know what, I'm forty something.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I don't want to jump off this clip.
Speaker 4 (05:42):
Man up. That's different, dude. I don't want to be dumb.
Speaker 6 (05:44):
Yeah, but I but I could see if you said
it to me in front of everyone, I'm probably gonna jump.
Speaker 7 (05:50):
I got like I'm a ten year old idiot.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Yeah, that's why you.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
Can't say that to us.
Speaker 4 (05:54):
We'll just break. So if Drew's friends drop off a bridge,
he's someone, says man. And we were talking about this
before the day he's paralyzed. We were talking about this
before the Donkey Show podcast, Like I'd feel terrible if
like I couldn't get an erection in. Like, let's say
me and my girlfriend are trying to hook up and
I got man there and she said, just man up.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
Oh that that's like absolutely crushed man soft.
Speaker 4 (06:20):
Yeah, man soft. And this happened to me once. So
a girl it was just I don't know how long
it was ten years ago, maybe it's.
Speaker 1 (06:27):
Got to be more than ten.
Speaker 4 (06:28):
Been here, I've been here for ten oh jeez, fifteen fifteen,
fifteen years ago. Maybe, so I was kind of hanging
out with this girl and we hadn't hooked. We've done
we did everything else, but we hadn't done the full
A fiddling, a lot of fiddling, a lot of what
is a phonication, fun and play fornication would be the deed. Yeah, okay,
that was where we were headed. Oh yeah, all right,
(06:49):
so just have four in town. Yeah, just a lot
of four play. And then so she came over one
night just wearing a trench coat. And see in the movies,
I didn't know she was going to do this. You
just showed up wearing a trench coat and that's it.
And I and you know, like I was, I was
so hot for this girl, you know what I mean,
she to me, she was super gorgeous, and I just
(07:11):
couldn't do it. I don't know what I panicked. I
don't know what happened, but it was the worst feeling ever.
And the way she reacted made feel even worse, like
she was wow, wow, I just came over here in
a trench coat and you can't even get it up.
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Because imagine how bad she felt.
Speaker 4 (07:24):
But it's not her fault. It was not her fault
at all. I was definitely horny. I just couldn't.
Speaker 5 (07:29):
Yeah, not everybody expects to just have an inspector gadget causeplay,
show up on the porch naked underneath and ready to
do the deed.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
Give me a little bit of a warning, like every
woman would assume that's like, that's like every dude's dream.
But you guys are like that it's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 6 (07:49):
Yeah, you're kind of eating up the dream too, if
you think that it's that easy, because I mean, it's
as simple as Also, who knows what condition you're in, Like,
am I clean and.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
Ready to party?
Speaker 4 (08:00):
I was clean, but I and I was totally sober,
and maybe that was But who knows if you would
just on a bike ride or something, right, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (08:07):
I do think that it's a bold move just to
show up that well, like I would never have the
courage to do that.
Speaker 4 (08:13):
Listen, I love you. I don't know why it hit
me that day where it just because I really liked
this chicken. She was really hot and I just got
in my head, and also she was I was super nervous,
and also she was also kind of dating somebody else,
and that was also in my head.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
Yeah, you don't know where you're at. You don't know
what the deal is when it comes to people who.
Speaker 4 (08:32):
I mean, I did, I will say in my defense,
I did make up for it later. I made up
for it to come back.
Speaker 7 (08:37):
It was named Comeback Player of the Year. It was incredible.
Speaker 6 (08:43):
The amazing thing about these these Wiener pills that they're
prescribing online. Now, the majority of the people who are
prescribed and don't have a rectile dysfunction, No, they have anxiety.
And so like, even when we were trying to conceive
our first child, there's so much anxiety with we got
to keep doing this and are you we're missing this
population wind doing And it's just like that.
Speaker 1 (09:04):
It's a little different version, but it's.
Speaker 6 (09:05):
The same thing that would build up in my brain
and then you miss a month and it's like, am
I do it?
Speaker 1 (09:10):
Does the seed not work?
Speaker 6 (09:11):
And so I just got to a point where I
didn't know how much it was gonna cost, but I
think I got six cy alis, which.
Speaker 4 (09:18):
Was probably seven hundred dollars at the time.
Speaker 6 (09:20):
It was brutal, but I originally was prescribed thirty, and
I whittled it down to say.
Speaker 4 (09:25):
Yeah, the same thing happened to me. My doctor gave
me a prescription and I went and said, oh, just
just give me all that that he said, you know,
like thirty or whatever. Have many and the ended up
coming like four or five hundred bucks. And I was like,
I'll do I'll do four of those and the wait
all that I just get Blue Choo now because Blue
Cheo is a rad and get them off the internet.
Speaker 6 (09:42):
And they're and like, they have some really cool options now.
And to be able to not have to wait for
the pills pretty cool.
Speaker 3 (09:48):
You know.
Speaker 6 (09:48):
The whole thing is it And it's just funny because
as soon as I was in a situation where I
wasn't worried about it, it wasn't a problem.
Speaker 4 (09:57):
When I'm as long as I'm not worried, I can
be everything.
Speaker 1 (10:00):
It is fine.
Speaker 5 (10:01):
Well, Drew, I'm sure it was a little tough when
every single negative pregnancy test that Amy handed you, she went.
Speaker 1 (10:06):
Man up.
Speaker 4 (10:09):
Mine, it does skill the sperm count.
Speaker 6 (10:11):
Yeah, I was dwindling, Like I think the one that
was left got through it.
Speaker 4 (10:14):
But yeah, I get it from her perspective that it
makes her feel bad, but it made me feel bad
like her. You know, this is a normal thing that
happens to guys. It sucks that it happened right now,
but it does happen. Yeah, and I made up for it,
but like she made me feel for like a two weeks,
I felt really shitty because we didn't hook up for
like another two weeks after that, because we come.
Speaker 2 (10:32):
It over next.
Speaker 4 (10:33):
I thought for a little bit there I wasn't gonna
be able to make up for it, and luckily I
got a few chances.
Speaker 6 (10:39):
But anybody, any dude who's worn't their own dirt, knows
that you've let the girl down. I mean, they don't
have to rub it in for me to know I've
let you down.
Speaker 4 (10:48):
I promise you just hear you.
Speaker 6 (10:49):
Feel the body like yeah, and there, and they're the
nicest ones. They're acting for you to oh it's okay,
and you're like, no, you got all naked for me,
which is rare.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
And now we're doing this.
Speaker 4 (10:59):
Yeah, ever experienced this, Laura, Oh sorry, before you go,
let Marcus do.
Speaker 5 (11:04):
I was just gonna say that. I think that ninety
nine times out of one hundred, when this happens to
any given guy, it's not the girl, Like, it's just
not you.
Speaker 4 (11:14):
We're already there.
Speaker 5 (11:15):
We look, if we had the choice, we'd snap our
fingers and this thing would work. It's not because of
what's standing in front of me here. It's because of
what's going on in the six inches between my ears. Like, yeah,
I can swing a golf club, but I can't fucking
swing it today and I don't know why.
Speaker 4 (11:29):
If you have that, if you have whiskey. Whiskey Dick
is another one, you know.
Speaker 6 (11:33):
Yeah, alcohol is to blame the when it's not it's
anxiety or alcohol.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
It's the two ways.
Speaker 4 (11:38):
Yeah, I've I've definitely blamed it on alcohol once when
like I maybe I wasn't feeling it or I just
you know, I don't know what. Maybe it was that
today the alcohol I just said, you know, I'm just
a little too drunk, I.
Speaker 6 (11:51):
Know myself, and there's a level of buzz that I
won't even I won't even try attempt, you know, because
I'm just like, well, it might work, but I am
risking that moment, and so we'll do it.
Speaker 7 (12:01):
And if you're married, you're like, we'll do it tomorrow instead.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, reschedule.
Speaker 4 (12:06):
One of my favorite things is to is drunk sex.
Speaker 3 (12:08):
Though I.
Speaker 6 (12:10):
Drunk sex, there's a window where it works great, it's
just there's a there's a path too far right.
Speaker 4 (12:16):
Uh So, Yeah, Laura, do you ever experience anything like
this where a guy couldn't get it up?
Speaker 2 (12:20):
And yeah, I mean, like I feel like it happens.
It's not that uncommon. And I think when you I
think with the person that you're described, like if it
just happens and you're just like hanging out and you
start hooking up on the couch or whatever the case
may be, and you've been drinking, that's one thing. But
when you, as a woman, put time and effort into Okay,
(12:41):
this is going to be really special. He's gonna love this,
and then he can't perform. That's I think when it
feels for me more like oh my god, like I
just did all this stuff and it's not good enough,
you know. So it's like even if he says, oh,
it's not you, it's not you, it's like.
Speaker 4 (12:58):
They're gonna take it like it is.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
It feels like it though, because and I also feel
like we've been socialized to believe that, and I do
think this is probably true more times than not. But
like men, it's easy for you, Like for me, it's
like everybody's different, and it's like you got to figure
out how each individual person works and what each individual
person likes. But man, it's like if you create enough friction,
(13:23):
stuff's gonna happen, you know. So like when it doesn't, you're.
Speaker 4 (13:26):
Like, man, sometimes it is a strong breath's.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Like what am I doing wrong? That? Like I can't
like get this dude to where he needs.
Speaker 4 (13:33):
But you know, and from your perspective, I totally understand that.
But just know the time, it's it's all And.
Speaker 2 (13:41):
I'm usually super chill about it because it's like I
get it. It happens.
Speaker 6 (13:44):
The friction rule I think applies when we're nineteen, you know,
because it's like, no matter where my brain's at when
I was nineteen, it's just like Arah, but you're maybe
we overthink things more as we get older and like
you know, self conscious about this or that. Yeah, just
the fear of once you've had it not work once,
there's always that fear that it.
Speaker 2 (14:05):
Can have again.
Speaker 4 (14:06):
Sometimes I get boner's too much and I want to
take a pill that keeps me from getting a boner
you got overbone? Sometimes overbone they a boner those those places.
Speaker 6 (14:15):
While they have the Wiener pill for the standard operation,
they also have the one that is like a number.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
You know, so like you say, maybe you won't come
as fast you like you are.
Speaker 6 (14:24):
A two pump chump, but this makes you just thirty
one pump condom.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
I should take care of it, right.
Speaker 6 (14:30):
Yeah, that that would honestly, if you want to have
that apology in the middle, remember, yeah, that's how I
thought it.
Speaker 1 (14:36):
Was going to work.
Speaker 4 (14:37):
That's how the soft parade begins.
Speaker 2 (14:39):
Soft, I can't feel it.
Speaker 4 (14:42):
Damn listen, kids, if you're young and dumb, use condoms absolutely,
But god.
Speaker 2 (14:47):
I know married couples who.
Speaker 4 (14:49):
Still Howard Stern still uses a condom of his wife,
which is crazy.
Speaker 6 (14:53):
It's one of the great benefits of being married is
to not do that raw dogging.
Speaker 2 (14:58):
Yeah, we're just get a damn sect to me, like
Howard Stern.
Speaker 4 (15:01):
Well, dude, my friend my friends in Eugene got a
vasectomy and his wife got her tubes tied and they
still got pregnancy. That is an anomal that's crazy.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
That is wild. That's Jesus also, and also that's medical malpractice,
like I would be suing somebody so fucking fast.
Speaker 1 (15:19):
But some of those things side a thing that says
it is not.
Speaker 2 (15:22):
Why I think that the tubes tied though, that's crazy.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
But to haven't both done and yeah still get pregnant,
to me, maybe there's some case there. But at the
same time, I could also see them saying like well
you know, uh, or like maybe he get snipped and
it can still happen.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
Well, and maybe because you do have to wait, there's
a period of time that you have to wait.
Speaker 4 (15:41):
Maybe did it too early?
Speaker 2 (15:42):
Yeah?
Speaker 6 (15:42):
And how about this when Laura sues that doctor for
her kid coming and then litigation lasts and tell your
child's about five, and you're like, so why are you
suing the doctor?
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Oh, because you're here.
Speaker 2 (15:54):
Rebecca, because you were an accident.
Speaker 1 (15:56):
Because you're born. It would be a tough, tough thing.
Speaker 3 (16:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (16:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (16:00):
But then once the litigation does go through and I
win the case, that kid's gonna have the best.
Speaker 5 (16:06):
Life, Like I figured you would put her up for adoption,
enjoy the money.
Speaker 2 (16:11):
No, you're done, Ceilia.
Speaker 4 (16:14):
But I'll never forget the moment when I couldn't get
it up and that girl reacted that way, and I
just felt so terrible. And I remember I went to
a friend's house either that night or the next night,
and I told him about it, and he looked at
me like, bro, that was the worst thing. That was
the worst stay I've ever heard. And he made me
feel even worse, like I was trying to like looking
(16:35):
for a buddy to give me some help, like, hey,
it's happened.
Speaker 2 (16:37):
It happens, you know whatever, But everyone knows that.
Speaker 6 (16:39):
I mean, well, and that was long enough ago to
where half your friends hadn't had to go through that.
Yet once they do, they don't say that to anyone else.
Like the first time it happens, you're like, Okay, I
get it that it happens and it's over.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
You always got that buddy.
Speaker 5 (16:55):
We could have soft in the middle Tacos and talked
about it.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah, because everyone's get that buddy, old Tacos.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Who's never done it wrong. That's the guy who's apologized
more than anyone.
Speaker 4 (17:04):
Yeah, well, there's there, it is.
Speaker 2 (17:08):
I mean, it's okay, though, you guys. I'm just gonna
I'm gonna say this for everyone listening. It's okay. I
appreciate it, feel bad. I appreciates unless it's a chronic
problem and then maybe, you know, go get that taken
care of. I don't know.
Speaker 4 (17:22):
Yeah, if you're if it's once and a once, like
once in a year or twice a year or whatever,
but if you're doing it all the time over.
Speaker 2 (17:28):
And over again, then I'm gonna you're gonna.
Speaker 4 (17:30):
Like, are you watching too much porn?
Speaker 1 (17:31):
Yeah? Are you desensitized.
Speaker 2 (17:34):
Yeah, no, no, no, I've been definitely with people who
not only was it it took so long, and also
like the shapes that they try to put you in.
It's like joy look like a fucking pretzel.
Speaker 4 (17:48):
Like I sprayed everything that's real, that's not know, some
of the positions are look crazy. I have a hard
time the last two months or three months or however long.
It's been having a hard time finishing because I'm on
a medication and the first thing that it affects is.
Speaker 2 (18:04):
Your Oh I've got the same thing end of the road.
Speaker 4 (18:07):
So I can get there, but and it's way more extreme.
But dude, it takes me a little like probably five
to ten minutes longer than normally. Woe and it's a bitch.
But you know, the medications are helping me because they're
like anti anxiety antidepressant type meds. Yeah, and I feel
so much for.
Speaker 2 (18:23):
Your head up here. It's not so good.
Speaker 4 (18:24):
Yeah, yeah, I can still get hard on the problem.
It's just like, yeah, it just takes me forever.
Speaker 6 (18:28):
You can satisfy the partner, You just would like to
join them at the finish.
Speaker 4 (18:31):
And that's where fak and it comes in. I'm Casey
case Yes, Marcus. I don't know why through the case.
Speaker 5 (18:38):
That one threw me for a loop too, But I
think the medication should advertise itself you won't finish and
you won't care, because it kind of sounds like you're
won't you won't have anxiety about it anymore.
Speaker 4 (18:49):
It's not actually gonna Yeah, And the doctor said that,
like the main side effect is like, you know, it
affects your sexual performance. And I was like, damn, I've
been on pills that done this, have done this before,
and I kind of knew to expect this time, so
I was just like whatever, Yeah, but it's it's not
the worst thing because when you do get it, it's
it's way more intense. But uh, it is a bitch
man like especially when you're tired and hot, you can
(19:10):
tell she's done. Yeah, Oh my god.
Speaker 2 (19:13):
It's like, yeah, that is a very for me. It's
like there's a it's a relatively short window where it's
like when I'm either done or I've decided I'm finished. Yeah,
and it's just like a right, our Lord strikes me
as atokie, let's wrap this up. Oh yeah, because I
want to go watch TV.
Speaker 6 (19:34):
When when the meter is running for me, I know
all the sciences. Oh God, here we go, Come on,
just don't be left.
Speaker 4 (19:41):
There's there's one time I knew I just passed the
passed the market and or whatever I did, and I
I just said, it's not gonna happen for me, babe tonight.
Speaker 1 (19:49):
I've definitely done that many times.
Speaker 6 (19:52):
I've just I've just had to be like, I'm going
to give you the grace here of me stopping.
Speaker 4 (19:56):
And it's not a big deal.
Speaker 3 (19:57):
You know.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
I do get blue balls sometimes when that happens, but
I mean girls.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Get blue balls too.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
Really.
Speaker 4 (20:03):
Yeah, So what's it like? What's it feel like?
Speaker 2 (20:06):
I mean I don't, I don't know. I mean, what's
it feel like for you guys?
Speaker 4 (20:09):
I mean it was just well just kind of throb
like ag. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
I mean we get a little pulsation going on in
there too, where it's like we really were counting on
you and you just left his hang in there.
Speaker 4 (20:20):
I guess it makes sense, I didn't.
Speaker 2 (20:21):
I mean, it's basically the same equipment.
Speaker 1 (20:23):
Everyone's shape. Just where are you putting them?
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Yeah?
Speaker 5 (20:26):
Yeah, we all remember this so well. It's like this
memory seared into my mind. But I was in eighth grade.
I took a girl of the movies. We made out
for the whole movies, just like eighth graders would, right.
Speaker 2 (20:36):
Ye.
Speaker 5 (20:36):
I've never touched any part of each other's bodies because
we were too prude at the time. And I had
to walk home that night, and I lived up a
big hill, and the Blue Balls was so bad that
it took like twice as long. And this was before
cell phones, so my parents were like wondering where the
hell I was. They knew where the movies when the
movie got out, they knew when I should have been home.
My ass was limping up the hill because I could
(20:59):
barely because my ball's hurt so bad. I've never heard
a woman say something like that before.
Speaker 2 (21:04):
I mean, it's I've never been like limping down the street.
Speaker 4 (21:09):
I have. I've I've hobbled around when my ball's hurt
because I didn't bust.
Speaker 5 (21:13):
It feels like you just got kicked in the balls
and that pain just won't go away. It's just lingering
there is what it felt like to me.
Speaker 4 (21:20):
There was one time, and I told the story back
on the air and Eugene when I went down. I
was living in Portland, went to Salem to meet a girl.
I thought we were gonna hook up. We never actually
never hooked up. So on the way back, I was
so worked up that I jerked off in the car
while we were driving into a JanSport backpack. Oh crap,
I had just cleaned out my car. Backpack was mine.
(21:41):
I just cleaned out my car and there was nothing
in there except for the backpack, and it was empty.
Here we go and I just just didn't know what
else to do.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
So and then I used that backpack for the next
four years.
Speaker 1 (21:50):
It's got that leather bottom. You know, you don't just
throw those out.
Speaker 4 (21:53):
Yeah, I think it went into the bag.
Speaker 6 (21:56):
Well, the whole base of the jans support is this
one big leather slash that's all soggy.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
Yeah, it is swayed.
Speaker 4 (22:03):
O'll soaker, But I you know, I do. My balls
were aching and I had to take care of it.
As a matter of fact, I just read this. Listen
to this. I just read this last night. Stopping masturbation
may increase depression and stress.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
So what that means, I think that's in the middle
of it.
Speaker 6 (22:19):
What that means is if you're super sad and you
beat off all the time, you better not stop.
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Yeah right, And this article starts off by saying, just
beat it. There, beat it.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Send that to your girlfriend when she walks in on
you doing.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
That's not what they told me at church.
Speaker 4 (22:34):
Yeah right, they told me I was going to go blind.
Speaker 1 (22:35):
Yeah, they had different paperwork.
Speaker 4 (22:37):
Well, a new study seems to confirm most of us
already knew deep down in our in our in our loins.
Speaker 3 (22:42):
Uh.
Speaker 4 (22:42):
Sexual pleasure is a boom for the body and the mind,
and denying yourself that pleasure in a bad way is
very bad in many ways, they say. Of course, a
survey commissioned by the makers of a popular vibrator, the
Magic wand.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
Oh man, what a blessing.
Speaker 4 (22:58):
They're the ones who said this. But the statistics do
seem to be real Ande citing a shift towards sexual
wellness in general, understanding that sex, toy uses and pleasure
can have a positive impact. It representative for the makers
of the Personal Pleasure AID said in a written statement
that the company's goal was to collect significant data that
shows the real impact of that self love can have
(23:19):
on people's lives. They, I guess studied one thousand women
or participants you know. With that kind of plumbing. Yes,
and they found that they asked them to track their
quality of life over a three week period. Interesting, they say,
the game guinea pigs were introduced. The game guinea pigs
(23:41):
were introduced to adhere to one week absence one week
of daily magic wand use.
Speaker 2 (23:48):
See that this is just them trying to sell.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
They're going to sell some ones.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
But see what I mean, great investment ladies. If you
don't have one, get one.
Speaker 6 (23:56):
But there is some serious truth to the fact that, like,
think about anything that gives you true pleasure or euphoria,
mostly as a drug or an alcohol or sex, and
sex is the only one out of all of them
that doesn't have an adverse effect. After you get drunk,
you get hung over, you get high, you get low,
you do meth, you you know, crash out like that
(24:20):
doesn't happen with sex, especially you recenter and to throw
all those positive chemicals into your body have got to
be helping your mental state, especially.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
When you're by yourself, because I would I would argue
that if you're having sex with the stranger afterwards, you
might have.
Speaker 7 (24:38):
Bad decisions lead to bad feelings for sure.
Speaker 4 (24:41):
Across the board, a week without the study show that
across the board, a week without pleasure reportedly triggered a
drop and a quality of a quality of life measures
including happiness, body image, confidence, and relationship connection. And you know, Drew,
you've said this, like you know, like you you, you
and your wife will hook up and all of a
sudden you feel like you're on the same page again.
Speaker 6 (25:01):
Yeah, I think there's an animal instinct involved in the
whole thing that if you go too long without like
you do it like just the geographics of summertime, you
do it less because your kids are ever present, and
you know you don't have I mean, it's not like
that you don't feel in love with each other, but
it's not the same as when you're you're hitting those
(25:22):
benchmarks every week or every.
Speaker 4 (25:23):
Couple of just clapping cheeks every day.
Speaker 6 (25:25):
Yeah, and just that for a couple of days after
you do it, even you know that you're connected at
least on that level.
Speaker 4 (25:31):
Well, they say, just like an apple and orgasm a
day will keep the doctor away.
Speaker 6 (25:36):
You know, I'm going to start preaching that in the
closed room conversations.
Speaker 1 (25:41):
They yeah, like you hear what they said about that.
Speaker 4 (25:43):
It does sound exhausting a little bit lower, but you
don't always have to have those with other people.
Speaker 2 (25:47):
Yeah, yeah, that's what That's what I was going to say,
Like Zach Amy's like, Amy's like, all right, you're right,
an orgasm a day. So you know what I want
for Christmas? Magic wi Yeah I read that too.
Speaker 1 (25:57):
I sent you a link.
Speaker 7 (25:58):
Yeah, then I'm backfire on me.
Speaker 2 (26:01):
I want the pink one.
Speaker 1 (26:02):
Never did it again.
Speaker 5 (26:04):
What's funny for me is that all this, like you know,
self help is like a popular thing. That's where a
lot of these studies come from. Love yourself. You know,
you should be doing this, you shouldn't be doing this.
There will be another study that I read later this afternoon,
just because we talked about this, it'll show up in
my feet that says you should stop masturbating once a day,
that it's way too much. You're getting addicted to the
(26:25):
dope meat hit. Yeah, and or you know, and like
is their merit to that as well? Like which one
of these arguments are right? And it is it different
for me at forty than it is for a nineteen
year old.
Speaker 4 (26:36):
That's say, if you're in your forties and you can
still bust every day, good for you, you know, like
who cares.
Speaker 6 (26:42):
And I think that even whether it's ever, if every
day is exhausting to you, or if it's every other
day or whatever it is, I think it's also good
to keep your plumbing flowing.
Speaker 4 (26:51):
Yeah, they say the same reason why you need to pee,
you know, they say, like Christian people will tell you
that it's bad to masturbate. Like when I was in
the church, you're wasting your seat, I was gonna go.
But I mean, scientifically, it is actually good to get
that out.
Speaker 2 (27:03):
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 3 (27:04):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (27:04):
I do think though, if if you are in a
committed relationship, and I don't know this but I and
I guess you could see this in a good way
or a bad way. But it's like you don't want
to become desensitized to the point where like now you're
with your partner and it's taking too long or what
you know. So I feel like there's a fine line there. Yeah,
(27:25):
like maybe not every day, but don't wait too long.
I don't know.
Speaker 4 (27:29):
I will go in waves like sometimes I'll do it
every day and then I won't do it for a
little bit, you know, And usually it's to help me
go to sleep. Oh yeah, you know, I'll just just
fap one off and go right to bed. But sometimes
like then, because lately I haven't really been doing it.
You know, well you have.
Speaker 6 (27:47):
When you've been hanging with a lady. That definitely lowers
your numbers.
Speaker 4 (27:50):
I have found that I'm in a much better mood
when it is consistent. The sex absolutely just so much
happier and I'm less stressed.
Speaker 2 (27:58):
And also when you're spending time with so when you
enjoy being with you know, it's regardless.
Speaker 4 (28:04):
I feel like when you have a connection.
Speaker 6 (28:05):
With combo makes a big you should try having them
over and then you're just masturbating on the other side
of a door. You can get it all. Guys, just there,
there are you out there?
Speaker 2 (28:16):
I'm here weird.
Speaker 1 (28:20):
I read an article.
Speaker 2 (28:21):
It was really interesting.
Speaker 6 (28:23):
All right, well I have to pee now that we've
all gone on a spank circle.
Speaker 4 (28:30):
Yeah, it's like the.
Speaker 1 (28:32):
Good old days.
Speaker 4 (28:33):
What should we call this episode? Like something FAPs FAP something.
Speaker 6 (28:38):
New fat city, new New.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
I think it has been written.
Speaker 6 (28:48):
This stuff's made new FAPs, fawn FAP town.
Speaker 3 (28:52):
You as a.
Speaker 4 (28:54):
What's your suggestion?
Speaker 2 (28:56):
Ah?
Speaker 5 (28:56):
Man, these are good. It's it's really hard to uh
because you know the the joke here and not to
explain it Drew and ruin it for you. But the
joke is New Jack City, and it sounds so much
better with New fac City. I'm just gonna put my
ball in that court.
Speaker 4 (29:09):
I'm going with.
Speaker 7 (29:10):
Ball as long as it's not what are you putting
one ball or both?
Speaker 5 (29:15):
I'm putting the whole sack of them.
Speaker 2 (29:18):
Two testicles, two whole testies.
Speaker 4 (29:21):
M M all right, and they're swollen too.
Speaker 7 (29:25):
Has a bit of an elephant left, is what I heard.
Speaker 5 (29:27):
Oh wow, that was an old football injury. But it's
a fun party trick.
Speaker 2 (29:33):
All right.
Speaker 4 (29:34):
We'll see tomorrow. If you're listening to this on July ninth. Wednesday,
July ninth, we're gonna have more passes to go see
comedian Jeremy Piven tomorrow at seven thirty.
Speaker 3 (29:42):
Listening you've been listening to Tanner, Drew and Laura's Donkey Show,
heard daily at one oh five nine that brew dot com.
May God have mercy on all of our souls.
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