From Loneliness to Love

Episode Transcript

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Thank you for joining me. I'mRabbi David Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel in
Houston. At any time of year, there are moments we look forward to.
They could be anniversaries and birth thesespecial moments, and especially summer time
for vacation reunions with family and friends. But it doesn't mean that there aren't
lonely times too, and it doesn'tmean that events havn't occurred that have created

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some feelings of disorientation, loneliness,fearfulness, and when that feeling overcomes us,
it's one of those times, andwe sometimes don't know where to turn
and how to overcome it to findjoy and goodness again. But our faith
traditions have ways of helping us appreciatethat in times of loneliness, we don't

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have to feel alone, even ifwe're the only one in the room.
How do we do it? Howdoes faith bring us along? There are
many prayers that certainly help us toplumb the depths of our traditions. There
are role models who are there tolisten, lend a hand and some advice.
Sometimes we have to go home andrely on ourselves to know that what

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we've heard, what we've studied,and what we know truly to be true
is there for us, and wecan do this in a gathering of prayers.
There are some sources that I findmeaningful, and I'll share with you.
One says, Lord, my God. Many are tired and lonely.

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Teach us to be their friends.Many are anxious and afraid. Help us
to calm their fears. Some aretortured in body and mind, and view
them with courage and strength. Others, in their emptiness, seek only well,
fame or power. Teach them tovalue other gifts than these. Some

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are drained of faith, they arecynical, bored, or despairing. Let
our faith shine forth for them tosee through us, they may come to
know your love. And some livewith death and their souls. They are
stunned, violent, and filled withhate. Give us wisdom to save them
from the wastelands of the spirit,and teach us to show our love that

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compassion and knowledge combine for the welfareof all your children, that all may
know they are not alone. Oneof the reasons I enjoy this prayer and
I find it meaningful to share withyou, is because many of the points
of despair and loneliness that we identify, observe, or feel are also places

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where we already own and can identifythe remedy or the antidote for those feelings.
So when it says many are anxiousand afraid, we know who they
are. They may even be us. But the antidote is help us to
calm their fears. That's the beginningof a solution to such a fearful problem.

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Is to take that deep cleansing breath, or to know that we're not
completely alone. Because the prayer begins, God, many are tired and lonely.
That's you, that's me. Fromtime to time too, teach us
to be their friends, teach usto be a friend to others, and

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as a result, not only isour loneliness diminished, but so is others.
And that commonality and community that wecreate is a remedy, a therapy,
a cure. And even as weget to the depth of the reading
where it says in some live withdeath and their souls. They are stunned,
violent, and filled with hate,we know there are people like that

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too, and perhaps we sometimes findourselves at that place. The prayer says,
give us wisdom to save them fromthe wastelands of the spirit. It
doesn't say what to do, Itsays, give us the wisdom to save
them. Wisdom is understanding its experience. It's a path forward that isn't filled

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with anything but feelings of empathy andconcern for another person's passion. And in
this case, that passion is hateand despair and ugliness that is projected towards
the world. But wisdom can helptap into feelings of empathy that break down
those passionate feelings into feelings of compassionand understanding, and teach us to show

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our love that compassion and knowledge combinedfor the welfare of all your children.
To show our love that is oncewe find it, once we have a
control over it. Then it's somethingthat we don't keep to ourselves, but
we share it, and that expressionof love is actually an expression of gratitude.

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I'm healed, I'm stronger, I'vefound my way, I found friends.
I want to share that method orthat means with others, and I
want to be a friend to otherstoo. Love is a great quality and
surely an aspiration we can begin with, like we can begin with some affection,
and if we actually love as anideal or as an emotion. Then

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we come to it eventually over time. But the point of the prayer is
this, as it concludes that allmay know that they are not alone,
and as the prayer ends with thatexpression and hope, we come to understand
that all of the maladies and concernsthat that prayer and poem express are all

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as a result of the lack oflove and the feeling of being alone.
When we tap into someone's loneliness andhelp them feel needed, counted, and
then we value them, the senseof loneliness disappears. I'll share with you
that on occasion, when I visitsomebody at their home and make a visit,

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perhaps they're ill, or they're inhospice, or simply recovering from any
manner of issues, I'll let themknow that in the course of the conversation
how much I've enjoyed the time withthem, even if the conversation is difficult,
even if the circumstances aren't joyful,I've enjoyed the time and found meaning

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in it. And I hope thatthe person that I'm with has found meaning
in it too. And I tellthem, because you are needed, we
don't want you to go away orto disappear for any reason. You are
needed. And when they hear thatfrom somebody, not just because I'm a
Rabbi or a person with religious authorityand conviction, but from somebody who listens

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carefully. To hear that they areneeded goes a long way to helping them
feel that they are not alone,even when the visit ends and their evening
continues where they are literally alone intheir home apartment. To feel needed is
the beginning of feeling connected to theworld around us, and so another reading

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helps us to understand where it saysthere are times when each of us feels
lost or alone, adrift and forsaken, unable to reach those next to us
or to be reached by them.And there are days and nights when existence
seems to lack all purpose and ourlives seem brief sparks in an indifferent cosmos.

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Fear and loneliness enter into the soul. None of us is immune from
doubt and fear. None escapes timeswhen all seems dark and senseless. Then
at the ebb tide of the spirit, the soul cries out and reaches for
companionship. In those few words,we hear what many human beings come to

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experience. Perhaps you've experienced it.I know a long time ago, as
I was learning more about myself isespecially as a young adult, I had
moments of darkness and despair. Butas I came to appreciate the people in
my life, sometimes even changing thatcircle of people in my life, and

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fear and loneliness was entering my soul. It was at the ebb tide of
the spirit that my soul cried out. I reached for companionship and found it.
Very often. I share it withpeople as they're going through stages of
life that sometimes there are people whohave been a part of our life.
Our circle of friends have accompanied usalong the way for many years. But

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as a result of job change,or city change, or relationship change,
many changes that can be a partof a life journey, those friends don't
always accompany us all the way throughour lifetime, and that's okay. We
have to give them permission in ourselves, permission to let go a little bit

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and to thank them for the partof the journey they accompany us on and
to remember those memories something good.But as we transition and turn corners in
our life journey, we find newfriends, new relationships that continue with us
on that stage of our journey that'slife. And so as we reach out

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from transitions and turning points that canbe filled with tumult and to spare and
insecurity, we find companionship again,a new friend, a new acquaintance.
We begin to feel vulnerable all overagain. But through that vulnerability we also
build up confidence and trust, laughterand humor and meaning in the way that

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it causes us to grow up,to mature, and to become the adults
we are meant to be. Iknow that many people can claim they have
life long friends. Sometimes I'm jealousof that. Sometimes I don't understand it.
I have friends that I remember frommy early childhood, in high school
and college, and sometimes they popup on Facebook, but they aren't living

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nearby, and I don't communicate withthem on a regular basis. They are
part of my past and part ofmemories. And there are other people from
college who ended that journey with metoo, because we went in separate directions.
And now in my journey with myfamily and grandchildren, there are still

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new people coming into my life,and that not only keeps it relevant and
important, but it helps us tounderstand that change is something that happens constantly,
And as the old saying goes,the more things change, the more
they stay the same. We areconstantly growing and becoming the persons we're intended
to be. Another reading says,as the moon sinks on the mountain edge,

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the fishermen's lights flicker far out onthe dark wide sea. When we
think that we are alone are steeringour ships at midnight, we hear the
flash of oars far beyond us.Isn't that beautiful to imagine that, even
when we are sitting in the darkwaters, if we listen closely enough and

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things are stiller around us than usual, we can hear the oars splashing in
the water from another boat nearby.We never were in this wide ocean of
our world ever alone. Perhaps wefind it even alone in God's presence.
How beautiful. But I believe thehuman experiences to find friends. Perhaps it

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is going to synagogue or church,or the mosque or your house of worship,
or to a community center to bein the company of people, to
a cafe, perhaps to become aregular there so that people recognize and identify
you. But the splash of thewater is a reminder that we are not
alone, nor are we adrift andjust lost at sea. I'm Rabbi David

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Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel in Houston, and to listen again or share this
message with others, you can findit at my podcast called Heart to Heart
with Rabbi David Lion at Sunny ninetynine dot com, are on the iHeartRadio
app. And there is a beautifulsaying that I sometimes weave into readings that
need to be read. It says, a small star still shines in the

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darkness. It's a Danish proverb.A small star still shines in the darkness.
Yes, in the great sea ofstars, not only in the sea
of the ocean, but in thesea of stars above us. When we
look up on a clear night,away from the city lights, we see

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that a small star still shines inthe darkness too. And we can be
not just the burst of light thatpeople might think we are, or feel
from time to time that we are. But there are times when we are
just a small star still shining butnevertheless visible in the dark sky around us.

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And so as our summer comes andgoes, as our feelings come and
go, we might feel that weare at our best, but it doesn't
necessarily have to be always at ourbest, and we're less than our best.
We are not lost, and we'recureainly not alone. And perhaps if
we look deep within us, we'llfind what God has implanted within us,

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so that we can find it anduse it not only to help ourselves,
but to project it on others too, and to see that there are very
few people who are beyond our reachor beyond help, beyond a touch or
reach to help them feel that theytoo might simply be a small star shining
in the darkness, but can glowbrighter and brighter, perhaps as we grow

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nearer to them, or perhaps asthey find the source of their energy.
As well. As we are createdin God's image. According to Torah,
we are all filled with value.And as a great rabbi one said that
God created us with blessing to findmeaning and joy in the world around as
happiness and goodness, and when wedo, we have an obligation to give

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thanks to the source of that goodness, happiness and joy. So in your
own way, when we have agood day or a good night, perhaps
to say, in your own words, thank God, I am not alone.
I have many reasons feel grateful,perhaps even to help others feel grateful
too, for similar or different reasons. But for all of us to go

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out this day and each day tofind that we're not alone. A small
starry maybe, but glowing in thedarkness for sure. Thank you for joining
me. I look forward to beingwith you again next time.