Love Sweet Love

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Thank you for joining me. I'm Rabbi David Lyon from
Congregation Beth Israel in Houston. As it is in many
faith traditions, there are special sabbaths or special times in
the year that come with special names. For example, during
this current month, we have a number of different Sabbaths

(00:21):
that are known by special names. For example, Shabba kazone
a sabbath a vision. It precedes the observance of what
is also called tish Ba'av, the ninth day of the
Hebrew month of of of a day to remember Jewish
history's long list of destructions beginning in the year five

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eighty six before the common era. Following Tishba'av, this sabbath
is called Shabbat Nahamu, or the Sabbath of Comfort. On
the Sabbath we read a passage from Isaiah chapter forty,
which provides hopefulness that flows from God's comfort, including the
promise that Jerusalem's suffering is over. It sounds historic that

(01:08):
it has been referenced throughout Jewish history to this very day. Moreover,
an ancient holiday that ended with the destruction of the
Second Temple in the year seventy CE has emerged in
modern Israel. It's called too Beov, or the fifteenth day
of the month above, and it's a day of love.

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The date is significant on a Hebrew calendar, which is
a lunar calendar. The fifteenth day is the middle of
the month and so a full moon, and the full
moon some say, awakens human desires and passions. From its
ancient origins, we learned that Tuba'ov was a day when
young love when seeking young love. Though the observance of

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Tuba'ov fell away at the destruction the Temple, it found
a new place in modern Israel, a land bursting with
prosperity and love. The celebration of Tuba'v in modern Israel
reflects the times Jews are living in today in Israel,
times yes, filled with tension, as is often the case,

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but also and always with potential and hope. Though tensions
can be high in the Middle East, our two thousand
year exile is over, and the celebration of tuba' Av
is a reason to find love in Israel, not loneliness
in exile, hope in Israel's potential, not despair in the

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temple's destruction, and life in the future not death in
the past. Anyone who has been to Israel or has
hoped for Israel will agree that there's much to learn
from Israel's past, and it struggles then and now, and
no reason to delay the celebration of love at all.

(03:00):
Judaism loves love in truth, it has also struggled with love,
especially with Jewish mothers who struggle for their children's love
and happiness, or is it their own happiness. There's a
story that's told about two Jewish mothers who haven't seen
each other in twenty years. They run into each other

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on the street. One says to the other, how's your daughter, Deborah,
the one who married that lawyer. They were divorced. The
second woman answers, oh, I'm so sorry, but she got
married again to a surgeon, Mazeltov. They were also divorced.
At this point, the first woman decides not to say

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anything more, but now everything is all right. Her friend
goes on she's married to a very successful architect. The
first woman shakes her head from side to side. Oh,
my goodness, from one daughter, so much joy. Love is
a complex emotion. Millions of poems, quotes, and songs have

(04:02):
been composed to express even a small part of what
is love? We know the love can be emotional and passionate,
and Tennyson wrote, better to have loved and lost than
to have never loved at all. So important is love
in Judaism that we're commanded to love. In Torah, we're
commanded to love God. In Deuteronomy six, we're taught you

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shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
with all your soul, and with all your might. The
commandment is written in the singular form. It means that
each of us is commanded to love God. How do
we do it? As it says, with all our heart?
The heart is not the seat of passion, that's a
hallmark convention. Rather, the heart is a source of sincerity

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and genuineness. To do something with all your heart, for example,
or to take it to heart, suggests that we show
our love for God when we observe commandments with intention,
those good deeds that reflect moral and method choices. In Torah.
We're also commanded to love our neighbor. In Leviticus chapter nineteen,
in a portion called the Holiness Code, we're commanded love

(05:09):
your neighbor as yourself, says God. The amount of love
we feel for ourselves is all we have to offer
our fellow human being. Like loving God, loving our neighbor
requires intention to Oddly, tor doesn't command us to love
our parents or to love our children. In these relationships,

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the bond is secured from birth or adoption. Love is assumed.
We're only commanded to fill our obligation to that love relationship.
In Exodus chapter twenty, the fifth commandment says, honor your
father and your mother, that you may long into on
the earth. Honor, not love, is how we're commanded, and

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honor doesn't mean obey or bend over backwards. It means
pay respect and give weight to their needs. And Torah
commands us to teach our children Torah and today general studies,
and to prepare them to earn a living so they
don't become dependent on the community, and teach them to swim.

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We teach them to swim because it's a life saving skill,
and if they're going to swim on their own, we
have to let them go. Our goal is to prepare
them to leave home one day and repeat the cycle
from generation to generation. Torah isn't explicit about love between
partners either, except in Exodus. There we learn that partners

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should provide each other, food, clothing, and onna. Onna means season,
which is a reference to proper times for relations. The Torah,
like the Rabbis and the tall have preferred euphemisms to
talk about love making, but in Talmunic sources, the Rabbis
were direct about mutual respect, peace between partners before love

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happens between partners, and how to love making can be
a source of comfort, joy and peace. In Judaism, the
source of all this love is God. In Mishnah pure Chaevote,
we learn beloved are we, that we are created in
the image of God, especially beloved our we, for it

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was made known to us that we had been created
in the image of God, as it is said Forgin,
the image of God. God created us. To paraphrase, it
is one thing to be loved, It is another thing
to know that you are loved. You see, God's love
is reflected in God's act of creation. God created us

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and then made us aware that God created us. Wherever
we are, and whether we're joyful or sorrowful, God's love
is present. It needs no proof other than our own life.
Inherent in our life is worth and value, no matter
what others might say or what others might make us
feel No one and nothing can ever diminish God's love

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for us and our awareness of that love. Why is
it special? A young student once asked me if his
dog feels his love. I said, yes, of course, your
dog feels your love, just as you feel your dog's
love when it slathers your faith face with its wet tongue.
But I added, your dog isn't aware of God's act

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of creation, or God's inherent love in that act of creation. Therefore,
what we say is one thing to be loved. It
is another thing to know that you are loved. We
infer something special about that love. To be loved I
have taught means to be loved in the present tense

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on TUPA of love expressed with cards and flowers is
a very good start. But to know that you are
loved doesn't depend on cards and flowers, or dinner or candlelight.
It's a love, like God's love, that resides deep within us.
It's always present, even when our loved one or our

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lover is absent. On this kind of love, Rabbi Morris
Abler wrote, those I have loved, though now beyond my view,
have given form and quality to my being. They have
led me into the wide universe I continue to inhabit,
and their presence is more real to me than their absence.

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Would you give to me, Oh God, you never take away,
and bounties once granted, shed their radiance evermore. It's one
of my favorite poems because it reflects God's love for us,
and by extension, the ever present love that remains even
when our loved one is gone. On the Sabbath, our

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liturgy expresses thanks to God. It doesn't include portions where
we ask God for something, or need something or ache
for something from God. It's a time of humility. It's
a time to express gratitude. It's why it continues to
be a custom in many synagogues on Friday night and

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on Saturday to end the service with something sweet to eat,
because it's the sweetness of the day of the Sabbath,
a day of rest and joy and peace, which includes
love and love making. On the Sabbath is considered a
double bitsvah. You get double points, as I like to say,
for enjoying the love that is made possible with the

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reflection of peace on the Sabbath. Day one sanctifies God's
name and memory of our dear ones who are gone
from life. The other one sanctifies the Sabbath day, the
day in which we give thanks to God for the
gift of life. In life, we are loved and we
know that we are loved. On Tuba of a day
dedicated to love, we shouldn't shy away from the privilege

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to love God, to love our neighbor, to build on
the relationships we've created with our partners and friends, our children, grandchildren,
and great grandchildren. In every way, we should see expressions
of that love and all the gestures that we make,
the ways we touch each other's hands or hold each
other closely. And we should also find it in the

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way we look into each other's hearts and souls to
see the most special love that God makes known to
each of us. And I acknowledge that in these days
when many people suffer, not only in our own nation,
in the Middle East and in other places around the world,
this notion of love is not something that we should

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put away until times are better. On the contrary, love
is exactly what transforms we're challenging and evil times into
what they ought to be. Because the commandment that God
gives us to love God, to love our neighbor, to
love our children and others never ends. The commandment is

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not on hold, it's not on layaway. It's present and urgent.
If we can start at home, continue in the workplace,
in the community, and especially across lines that have been
frayed or blurred in recent years, we will find that
the urgency to love can also transform us in places

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where there's an urgency for greater healing and greater peace.
I'm Rabbi David Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel in Houston.
To listen again or to share this message with others,
you can find it my podcast called Heart to Heart
with Rabbi David Lyon at Sunny ninety nine dot com
on the iHeartRadio app. It is especially at this time

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of year, in the heat of summer, in the times
of war and uncertainty, when we need to look for
some antidote, some elixir, and not to simplify or to
call our cures something quick and easy. But if we
can begin with love that resides within us simply because

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God created us in life, then we have something that
can never be taken away, something that never fades or
breaks down. God's love endures, and if we can identify
it in ourselves, then as we are commanded, we can
identify it in others. In conversation, in careful listening, in

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careful helpfulness, we can build bridges that have been frayed
or broken and come to know love again. Tuba av
This day in the month that also includes a date
that remembers destruction, perfectly demonstrates how we can move from
destruction to love again by taking the moment and opportunity

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to follow all that our sacred teachings have taught us,
not only in Judaism, but in Christianity, in Islam and
other faith traditions too, And even for those who still
seek faith or wrestle with it, we know that more
than anything we want as a human being is to
know love and to be loved. So whether it comes

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from God or not for you, it certainly comes for
all of us. Between us, Let's reach out, Let's speak kindly,
Let's do all that we can in the weeks and
months to come to be sure that from destruction or
despair or grief, we can build bridges again to no
kindness and courtesy, friendship and love that endures and helps

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all of us to know how to be at the
very best. We can always be together. Thank you for
joining me. I look forward to being with you again
next time.