Ties That Bind Us

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Thank you for joining me. I'm Rabbi David Lyon from
Congregation Meth Israel in Houston. Thanksgiving is upon us, the
holiday when we gather with family and friends around the
table to express our gratitude, to focus on the privilege
to be an American, to be alive, to have freedom
in our life, even as we struggle and work through

(00:24):
challenges which are part of life too. In the Torah
we actually open the Tora portion to Genesis chapter twenty five.
They're called a portion told dote, and the portion is
called Generations. It begins this way, this is the story
of Isaac, son of Abraham, and for what we know

(00:47):
follows a great story about Jacob and Esau and so
much more. The portion begins in this seemingly unremarkable way,
but its best part wasn't lost on Torah commentators. U.
So why is it necessary to name Abraham in a
story about Isaac? How can Isaac and his story be
great if it can't stand on its own Merit is

(01:10):
Isaac destined to be known only as his father's son.
The answer begins in what the rabbi's taught in Amid
Russian or Rabbinic interpretation. It has so much to do
with generations, and just as we imagine ourselves sitting at
the table this week with Thanksgiving to be celebrated among
family and friends, they cited Proverbs seventeen. There it says

(01:35):
grandchildren are the crown of their elders, and the glory
of children is their parents. That is, future grandchildren will
be born and will bring honor to their grandparents. In
this case, Abraham's future grandson, Jacob is destined to be
born for honor. The linkage between Isaac and his father
Abraham that begins in the first verse of this portion

(01:57):
finds its brilliance in the next generation, with Jacob, father
of the twelve tribes of Israel. That first verse might
be overlooked in favor of the story of the birth
of Jacob and Esa that everybody knows, but it's this
first verse that not only foreshadows the necessary outcome of
Jacob's obtaining the birthright, it's also critical to the strength

(02:19):
that we rely on in generational inheritance, not about money,
but about reputation and heritage. The linkage of Abraham, Isaac
and Jacob established the patriarchal trio that is the foundation
of Jewish history and Jewish lineage. These generations were forged
by faith and faith, but not without a literal struggle,

(02:44):
which is a principal part of this portion's famous story.
Rebecca struggles with twins in her womb, or two nations,
as she is told. And though struggle is part of
every person's life's journey, we learn from the first verse
of this portion again again that the meaning of our
life's journey can be found beyond our time in the

(03:05):
past and the future. So we might ask why do
we struggle? There were events, people, issues in the past
that were part of our parents and great grand grandparents
and great grandparents' lives that devolve upon us. Not that
we bear their issues or their sins, as Torah teaches,

(03:26):
because we don't. We bear our own. But we are
the product of our life experiences. We're the product of
our DNA, and so the generations are inextricably bound. We
are also a product of what will be the future,
born with what we have, our gifts, our skills, our
portion in life. Our journey is also about the future

(03:48):
that will unfold in front of us, and also the
future that we will happen because of what we make
it to be, and so we are intertwinedations past and
generation's future. Like our patriarchs. In this portion, our life's
purpose is linked to and intertwined with at least three generations.

(04:12):
You know, before genealogy websites like ancestry dot com or
twenty three and meters, it was uncommon to know or
sometimes even name our great grandparents, and certainly not our
great great grandparents. What has always been true is that
our life is a blessing to those who preceded us,
and so it should be to those who will succeed us.

(04:33):
Isaac and Abram are honored where their names are mentioned together,
and later Abram, Isaac and Jacobal were called an honored
together and with Sarah, Rebecca, Leah and Rachel too. We
are the product of our generation, and we are often
known as our parents child, what child did grow up

(04:56):
through school, as your Bob's son, your Joyce son, and
very often as we continue to grow and our children
learn and make their own way and succeed in special ways. Oh,
you are Johnny's father. Sometimes we are who we are,
and sometimes by virtue of the people we have grown
up with or the children we have created in our life,

(05:19):
we are known by many names. We know, but we
are linked by the generations. And so as Thanksgiving nears,
the Great American holiday, our tables will be full with
food and family at this time of gathering and gratitude.
It's imperative, it's so important that we engage in conversation

(05:40):
that honors the generations, past, present, and future. We were
born to thrive, not only for our own sake and
our own generation, but also to bring honor to our
grandparents and to no joy from our parents. So it
isn't only about us, but what was it our grandparents

(06:02):
wanted us to know and to deliver on? And what
kind of joy can we bring to our parents as well?
We the next generation should be a source of joy
to those who came before us and be present for
those who follow us. And so it becomes a conversation
about responsibility and generational inheritance. It also lifts off the

(06:26):
table the pressure to talk about politics, geopolitics, the economy, religion,
and all of the issues that have been splitting apart
families and pulling apart family and friends too. So I
would urge you at this Thanksgiving table to look around,
see those who are older, see those who are younger,

(06:47):
and see yourself in a role of responsibility to lift
up the conversation, to talk about what their generation was like,
what do the children want to see? What makes you happy,
what cause you to struggle? What lessons did you learn?
And to listen with an open heart and listening ears

(07:08):
speak less, listen more, and the inheritance and the nourishment
at that table will be so much richer. I also suspect,
as I'm suggesting, that there will be less turmoil, opposition,
and dislocation that sometimes can emerge at a family gathering
where sometimes family haven't seen each other for so many

(07:30):
months or even years. And in this time of great polarization,
let's not bring it into the house. Let's not set
it at the table. Let's be part of the generations
that are trying to strive for something good and do
something better and at best, to model for the children
and grandchildren who are present that fighting isn't a bar

(07:50):
out the future. Fighting is something that we do separately,
but not in front of them, and perhaps we can
avoid it altogether by focusing on what true as is important.
Our unselfish obligation is to reflect honor among and between
the generations, so that our faith, heritage, culture, language, and

(08:11):
people will endure. The intertwining of the generations sustains us.
It's how we got here, it's how the generations continue
beyond us. Ecclesiastes wrote, a chord of three strands is
not easily broken, and so it might be said of
the generations too. If we can think about our grandparents,

(08:35):
we the parents, and our grandchildren. If you have the
privilege to have great grandparents in the family, picture four generations,
what a blessing. But three is not an uncommon number.
A three legged stool sustains us and supports us. A
two legged stool doesn't. And a cord of three strands,

(08:56):
according to Ecclesiastes, is not easily broken. It can be
pulled on, it can be strained, It could even be thinned,
but it is not easily broken all at once, and
so we have a lot to do to maintain it
and to strengthen it. They may be strains and pulls
on it. That's inevitable because life is filled with challenges too.

(09:18):
But let's try to hold together the three generations that
are a part of our memory. We know who each
other is without forgetting the names, and if we're fortunate
to spend time together in a fulsome wholly and sacred way,
and so as Thanksgiving comes, let's step into it with

(09:38):
intention and preparation. Let's not just arrive at the table
with memories of the past, especially if those memories were
not pleasant or happy. Let's come together knowing that the
world is fraught. The challenges and the headlines are amazing,
but our opportunity at the table is to do something
more and to rise above the fray by noting what

(10:00):
our history and our Bible also teach that the generations,
though filled with human stories, not perfect individuals, suggest to
us that the triarchs and the Patriarchs Abraham, Isaac and
Jacob a chord of three strands, and their spouses Sarah, Rebecca,

(10:21):
Leah and Rachel, provide for us an integral foundation that
we stand on and build from, to be sure that
we model for ourselves and our own families how it
can be done the very best way. This past week,
I attended a Grandparents and Special Friends Day at our
day school program with children from kindergarten through fifth grade.

(10:47):
They sang songs in English and in Hebrew. They celebrated
their heritage. They delighted their parents, grandparents, and in some
cases their great grandparents, and with great and general applause
and a lot of picture taking, the families came to
understand that while we break for Thanksgiving, we also look inward,

(11:10):
not only outward at the world, but inward around the
table and into our hearts, to see what we've created,
what we've inherited. What is our precious treasure that means
the world to us. It is our family, It is
our children, and all that we can model for them
and teach them is all that they have to bring
with them into the future. If we don't teach them

(11:33):
at home, if we don't model the best ways for them,
they can only bring into the future what they have.
They should have all that we can give them. And
as I said earlier, it isn't about an inheritance of money.
It's an inheritance of legacy, of treasure, of culture, language,
and food. The joy of knowing the people who love

(11:55):
us unconditionally is what will help us to step over
the gap or fear and misunderstanding is creating so much
tumult and aggravation today. And so as you prepare, I
hope you have your favorite recipes, your favorite stories, and
one more thing, bring to the table the memories of
those who are gone from life. Raise a glass of

(12:18):
wine or a cup of something delicious, and remember the
stories that they told, the foods they loved, the way
they lived, and the values that were the models that
you learned from so that you could conduct your life
with respect and dignity to don't forget them and don't

(12:39):
hide their memory or their names. They are part of
the lasting generations that are that bind you up to
be strong, to be able, and ready for the future
to come. So I wish you, from my family to yours,
happy Thanksgiving with all of your family and friends. I
hope that you engage in rich conversations that strengthen the

(13:00):
highs that bind you and bind us all together. I'm
Rabbi David Lyon from Congregation Beth Israel in Houston. To
listen again or to share this measures, please find it
at my podcast called Heart to Heart with Rabbi David Lyon.
You can find it at Sunny ninety nine dot com
on the iHeartRadio app. Many people have said to me

(13:21):
that the holidays are coming so quickly, the years unfolding
faster than they ever thought that it would. Perhaps it is.
Perhaps others would say it should slow down a little bit,
it's going too fast, and maybe some say it should
speed up. If you ask me, I'd say it's going
very quickly. But as it comes, we do need to
take a breath and a pause to prepare. It isn't

(13:44):
only about the food. It's also about the heart and
the soul and the table that we're setting, the glassware
and the table where might be in the right places
where it needs to be for everybody to feel welcome. Well,
let's be sure that everybody leaves feeling welcome too, and
with hope in their hearts, with thoughts in their heads

(14:05):
and hearts. To be sure that in these times of struggle,
that we are not feeling alone. We are drawn up
tied together across generations that really do form a chord
of three strands that are not easily broken. That's a
place where I would like to be. I believe that's
a place where you would like to be and welcome

(14:27):
others to join you there. Strength isn't only about power.
Strength is also about faith and hope and optimism for
the future that we can share and build together, so
happy Thanksgiving, A good week for you to come, travel safely,
be patient with each other, smile a little bit more,

(14:48):
and let's give thanks for the blessings that all of
us have in our lives. Thank you for joining me.
I look forward to being with you again next time.