Stress and Bonus Families

Today, Doug Pike interviews Dr. Bethany Williams, PhD about stress. Pike also speaks with Dr. Jann Blackstone about her book "The Bonus Family Handbook". 

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:01):
Remember when it was impossible to misplace the TV remote.

Speaker 2 (00:06):
Because you were the TV remote. You?

Speaker 1 (00:09):
Remember when music sounded like this? Remember when social media
was truly social?

Speaker 2 (00:17):
Hey, John, how's it going today?

Speaker 3 (00:20):
Well?

Speaker 1 (00:20):
This show is all about you one. This is fifty
plus with Doug Pike. Helpful information on your finances, good health,
and what to do for fun. Fifty plus brought to
you by the UT Health Houston Institute on Aging Informed
Decisions for a healthier, happier life, and now fifty plus

(00:43):
with Doug Pike.

Speaker 4 (00:45):
All right, welcome board, Thank you for listening on yet
another episode of fifty plus. Eight hundred and what is
eight and eight nine ten?

Speaker 2 (00:53):
Will somewhere in there? Is that about right? I'm wearing there?

Speaker 4 (00:57):
Yeah, it's it's more than eight hundred and more than
eight hundred and twenty at this point, so it's in
that race. Not bad, I would say for a couple
of guys who just come in here and knock it
around four live days a week, and then Mondays, of course,
will plucks out the best of what we've done in
the prior week. I just hope someday will that I
tune in on a Monday when I'm driving somewhere and

(01:20):
there's just something else playing, and I'll call you frantically
and say what happened? He said, Well, there was just
really nothing worth putting in. Don't ever do that to me, please.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
Well, sometimes I think about just going live. I've told
you if.

Speaker 4 (01:32):
You, if you have the courage, just push the button.
The courage push the button, will see what happens. Maybe
I'll get it, I'll get it approved by the managers before. Yeah,
it'll have to go through me too, So I've you know,
and once again I've got you charged this week as
last with finding activities for the audience, things that will

(01:57):
entertain and amuse and educate them some, whether it's a museum,
a concert in the park, some sort of exhibit somewhere.
Can you come up with a couple this week?

Speaker 2 (02:11):
Yeah?

Speaker 4 (02:11):
Minimum two, minimum two, maximum three. Because we don't want
to overwhelm people with choices. That's an old retail thing.
If you offer people too many choices, they'll just walk
around and never decide.

Speaker 2 (02:25):
That makes sense, Yeah.

Speaker 4 (02:28):
I mean it doesn't really explain malls, but you know,
well in each store though all those are big stores,
you know, Yeah, yeah, it does. Because of flies in
the face of giant retail, doesn't it. That was something
that was told to me one time long ago for
a guy I was working with. He and I well,
he opened this store primarily for offshore fishermen and specific

(02:52):
needs that they have, and I was working with slash
for him and doing some tournament fishing with him and
on other boats, and that was something he told me.
Of course, his store didn't quite make it very long.
It was fun, it was good, it was interesting, but
never mind, we would diverting the whole. We just ran
the train right off the track. So I'm truly grateful,

(03:17):
really to all of you who've chosen to listen to
fifty plus. You heard in the Fox News report what
the market's doing this morning. So I won't belabor that
oil did slip a bit early. I haven't checked since then,
but it was down a couple of bucks. It was
sitting just a little south of sixty one dollars a
barrel when the school bell rang. Gold also eased back

(03:37):
a bit, down twenty six bucks and change, but still
north of three thousand, three hundred and twenty dollars an ounce.
If you sold gold last year at about twenty four
hundred and thought you got a good deal for every
ounce you sold. Basically you missed out on this well

(03:59):
another about another thousand dollars an ounce. But who knew?
We all know it's going to go up. There's no
question about that. It's a finite resource. Even though a
giant gold mine just was recently found over in China,
if I recall, so there is gold still in them
bar hills. But hey, it's who knows how much more

(04:21):
of it or how much how I don't want to
go there. Who knows when it will fall again? And
it won't fall far. Typically when it comes back down,
there's an economic reason. There's a driver to it, and
once that driver steps out of the buffer behind the wheel,
it goes back up again. We're doing all right, But

(04:41):
enough small talk, especially in another week where we learned
still more about how our mainstream media keeps keeping secrets
from us. It's really frustrating. From the truth Will Set
You Free desk, in stories from several outlets, comes worried
that the annual White House Correspondence Dinner on satur that

(05:01):
annual event at which all the people who are in
the White House press room get to come together and
pat each other on the back for what a great
job they've done. White House reporter Alex Thompson won the
prestigious Aldo Beckman Award for his coverage not only of
the Biden administration generally, but especially his coverage of Biden's

(05:23):
kind of poured debate showing against President Trump, and in fairness,
from what I've heard, he did a fantastic job of
that not a problem with his reporting. He also he
also in his acceptance speech, dropped kind of a truth
bomb on the press corps that left a whole lot
of them squirming in our seats or in their seats

(05:44):
accuse me.

Speaker 2 (05:47):
And I quote.

Speaker 4 (05:48):
Being truth tellers also means telling the truth about ourselves.
We myself included, missed a lot of this story. President
Biden's decline and its cover up by the people around
him is a reminder that every White House, regardless of party,
is capable of deception.

Speaker 2 (06:05):
End quote.

Speaker 4 (06:07):
The interesting part I find in there is that the
way he worded it, and bear in mind, this guy's
a professional journalist. He knows, he knows the importance of
every word that he writes and says, every single one
of them. And what he did was with this reference
of having missed a lot of this story. Is actually
what he meant to say is covered up and buried

(06:30):
a lot of that story. They saw it firsthand, they
knew it, and not only did they ignore, and tonight
most of them went the other way and continued to
just say there was nothing wrong with President Biden at all,
And that was a deliberate deception on the parts of
all who participated in that charade. They ought to be
ashamed of themselves. Are we done well?

Speaker 2 (06:48):
The clock just disappeared.

Speaker 4 (06:50):
Yeah, we got something going on with our walk, that's
no big deal.

Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well have a one minute? Oh do we still have
a minute? Good?

Speaker 1 (06:58):
Well.

Speaker 4 (06:59):
The reason I'm with that story up is because that's
also why a majority of Americans and a growing majority
of Americans just don't trust network media any farther thing.

Speaker 2 (07:09):
Throw it.

Speaker 4 (07:10):
Thompson blamed Biden's people for covering up the decline. That's garbage.
They're professional reporters who get to ask questions about the
President of the United States and everything else that's going
on in that administration, and they wouldn't ask the hard
questions because they didn't want to have to acknowledge either

(07:30):
that they were being lied to or that they were
covering stuff up, so they just kind of ignored all
of that. Fox News Brianna Lyman said, these journalists are
claiming to be victims of deceit. Ah. Yeah, poor poor
reporters just can't get anybody to answer the question about
the emperor's new clothes.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
Huh.

Speaker 4 (07:50):
There he was in all his glory, in his new clothes,
and nobody wanted to talk about it.

Speaker 2 (07:57):
All right, we'll take a break now.

Speaker 4 (07:58):
On the way out, I'll tell you about the Late
Health I've been talking about them for ten years, and
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(08:20):
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If you, for example, are a man and over fifty five,
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(08:43):
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for in some cases, even head pain can be relieved
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(09:06):
Go to the website, take a look around alate elatehealth
dot com, or better yet, make a phone call and
schedule a consultation with them after you've gone to that website,
after you've seen all they can do for you. Seven
to one, three five, eight, eight, thirty eight eighty eight
seven one, three, five eight, eight thirty eight eighty.

Speaker 2 (09:25):
Eight what's life without a net? If I suggest to
go to bed, sleep it off, just wait until the
show's over. Sleepy.

Speaker 1 (09:33):
Back to Doug Pike as fifty plus continues. All right,
welcome back.

Speaker 4 (09:37):
Thanks for listening to fifty plus, and we're going to
talk in this segment about stress and how to manage
it and my hand goes in the air. Anybody who's yeah,
I juggle a lot. I'm not complaining at all. I'm
just saying I got a lot of things on the
They're all on the front burner, really, and since I'm
probably more stressed than able to talk about it calmly,

(09:58):
I having listed Doctor Bethany will You, a clinical neuropsychologist
Insistent Professor in the Department of Neurology at Mcgovernment Medical
School at UT Health Center.

Speaker 2 (10:07):
Welcome to fifty plus.

Speaker 5 (10:08):
Doctor Williams, Hi, good afternoon everyone.

Speaker 2 (10:10):
Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

Speaker 4 (10:12):
So let me sharpen my pencil as I asked this question,
what are some common symptoms of excess stress in our lives?

Speaker 5 (10:20):
Well, you know, I think for some of us, you know,
we express stress in so many different ways. You can
manifest physically. So sometimes you're full, your heart rate, you know,
just sort of pounding and increases. You might full tension
in your necker, shoulders, your hands might start to shake,
You might experience headaches or fatigues. For other people's expressed
this is the moodiness or anxiety. Sometimes you feel worried

(10:43):
or overwhelmed. You might lose interest in important aspects of
your life, like your social life or or sexual activity.
Your behavior habits might also change. For example, you might
notice that you're over under eating, perhaps you're having trouble sleeping,
or might turn to alcohol for help with coping with
the stress.

Speaker 4 (11:03):
Well, good, I didn't check hardly any I honestly didn't
check too many of those boxes.

Speaker 2 (11:07):
I feel pretty.

Speaker 4 (11:07):
I feel a little bit better, So that's good. And talk,
if you will about some of the stressors, the triggers
that some of us in this audience might not even
realize are triggering this angst and moodiness and tension.

Speaker 5 (11:21):
You know, I think for you know, as we're moving
to an older stage of our life, there are certain
unique stressors that we experience. For example, you're considering retirement,
or you've already transitioned away from your work life and
the financial changes that come along with that. The loss of,
you know, something that gave you so much purpose for
so many years, the loss of that connection with coworkers,

(11:43):
you know, your colleagues. Older adults also more prone to kic,
chronic and multiple health problems, So dealing with the change
in your body, your medical the state of your your
medical health, the costs of prescriptions and healthcare. You might
also lose connection with aspects of your social network, so

(12:04):
friends and family, you might start to isolate more often.
So those are just some of the things that some
of the challenges that we face this since we get older.

Speaker 4 (12:12):
Well, yeah, that's that's one of life's cruel little tricks.
We get all these aches and pains as we get
a little older, and then we find out that to
make the aches and pains go away, we got to
buy expensive medicine.

Speaker 2 (12:23):
Thanks, And you.

Speaker 4 (12:26):
Know, you could tell that to a thousand teenagers, not
a one I would pay attention.

Speaker 2 (12:31):
Oh my gosh. So are there.

Speaker 4 (12:34):
Maybe exercises or checklists we can create or whatever to
help us pick up on some of the little stressors
and deal with them before they become bigger problems in
our lives?

Speaker 3 (12:43):
Oh?

Speaker 5 (12:43):
Absolutely, you know, I myself do what I call a
body check in so asking questions like do I feel
tense or constantly run down? Do I notice aches or
pains that don't have an obvious cause. Do I feel
queasy and nauseous? Am I more prone to illness during
this period of my life? What about my sleep? Have

(13:05):
I been having trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or
my dreams to come in more vivid and worrisome. Am
I up thinking all night? Am I worrying about things
while I'm supposed to be sleeping. Are you finding it
hard to concentrate or think clearly? Are you finding that
you're less patient with people, especially those that you love,

(13:25):
you know, getting more frustrated? If you answer us to
any of those questions, take a moment what I call
a time out, to sit and think about any changes
in your life that may be affecting you. It could
be as minor as you know, a change in you know, routine,
or it could be as major as a change in
you know, living circumstances. Maybe you're losing independence, financial stress.

(13:49):
To just take a time out to do a check in,
I think.

Speaker 4 (13:52):
It's important too, And I had this question way down
the list, but I think it's important to go ahead
and bring it up now where we could discuss.

Speaker 2 (13:59):
A little bit.

Speaker 4 (14:00):
If you check more than one or two of those boxes,
it's perfectly okay to go ask somebody for help.

Speaker 2 (14:07):
Right, Oh?

Speaker 5 (14:09):
Absolutely, you know, as I said, Google is your friend. Yeah, yeah,
but seriously that I think that the internet could be
a really good resource for finding ways to cope with
and manage stress, finding ways to identify if you're under stressed,
also seeking advice from the people who you people you trust,
you know, family and friends who we've all gone through

(14:29):
it and they might have really great advice on how
to deal with it. And then for those who feel
that the stress is just overwhelming and unmanageable, I would
certainly recommend consulting with a professional like your primary care
provider and perhaps even a.

Speaker 4 (14:43):
Counselor if we have on the flip side of this,
go to the family for help thing. I know a
couple of people who have said, man, my brother in
law or my whatever, h just drives me crazy, just
really stresses man. If we have people in our lives
who tend to cause stress without even realizing that, what's
a good way to to maybe distance ourselves a little

(15:05):
bit from those stressful conversations and confrontations without destroying the
relationship altogether.

Speaker 5 (15:12):
Oh, that's a great question. I commonly have patients who
are going through the same thing. What I recommend is
setting boundaries, so determining you know, what are your limits,
what are you okay? Discussing and what are you not
being you know, thoughtful around how how much time you
spend there. Sometimes you just have to say, you know what,

(15:33):
this isn't good for me right now, and I can
you know, maybe come to Thanksgiving dinner for a couple
of hours, but I won't stay for three.

Speaker 2 (15:39):
Or four hours, right, fair enough?

Speaker 5 (15:42):
Seeking sending some boundaries around how much engagement you have
with these people and also you know, for example of you,
that's your children who are going through a lot of things.
Sometimes you just have to say, I can't have these
negative conversations. You know, I need to take a break
from it, so I'm not worrying as much.

Speaker 4 (15:58):
It does distraction qualify as a reliever of stress or
does it just postpone resumption of being stressed by that
same thing.

Speaker 5 (16:08):
I think distraction could be great at least in the
short term, so it's a very time limited stressor, then
I think distraction is is very helpful. But if it's
a stressor that is ongoing and avoidance, you know, will
just lead to even more stress and prevent you from
dealing with it, then you know, then in that case,

(16:29):
I think distraction is probably not the best strategy for
dealing with it.

Speaker 2 (16:33):
Doctor Bethany Williams here on fifty plus.

Speaker 4 (16:36):
I did a little research of my own managing stress
before I got to this segment and saw time management
pop up a couple of times. It does make sense
to me and explain why it's important to keep a
daily schedule or routine.

Speaker 5 (16:51):
Absolutely, you know, I think having routine gives us predictability,
gives us purpose, and it also limits the likelihood of
stress creeping in. We know what's going to happen, we
have a schedule, we have a plan. Then it eases anxiety,
it eases the lack of predictability, So routines are very important.
It also helps us to prioritize what's most important to us,

(17:12):
so then we're not spending this mental energy and this
worry and anxiety on matters that maybe aren't as important.

Speaker 4 (17:19):
We're creeping up all a time crutch unfortunately, doctor Williams.
So I saw something else pop up that pops up
all the time in medical interviews, and that's exercise. What's
the what's the relationship between exercise and stress?

Speaker 2 (17:33):
All?

Speaker 5 (17:33):
Exercise is such a great stress management technique and and
and y'all, it doesn't have to be anything intensive. Yoga
is wonderful, sitting and meditating, just taking walks with family
or friends that through your neighborhood, you know, doing chair exercises,
anything that just gets you moving, gardening, yard work, something

(17:55):
that that just helps you to get moving and it
helps you feel good about yourself, helps your your bid
to feel good. It's a great idea.

Speaker 4 (18:03):
Say golf.

Speaker 2 (18:06):
Well, thank you.

Speaker 4 (18:07):
Yeah, I was hoping you might say, doctor Bethidy Williams,
thank you so very much for your time.

Speaker 2 (18:12):
That's really been helpful.

Speaker 4 (18:14):
I appreciate you, all right.

Speaker 2 (18:18):
All right, on the way out.

Speaker 4 (18:19):
Ut Health Institute on Aging is that collaborative among more
than a thousand providers around here. I don't know how
many they're up to now. It's been a long time
since they started, and they just keep growing. They keep
doing wonderful things for seniors because that's as the name implies,
that's who they're taken care of. All of the providers
who are and part of this Institute on Aging have

(18:42):
gone back and gotten additional training to whatever it was
it took them to get their credentials, as it shows
on the diploma on the wall, and they've learned how
to apply their knowledge their specific field of knowledge to seniors,
and we are different. It's very clear. Look at us,
look at younger people, and you can see the difference.

(19:03):
And these doctors and nurses and therapists and trainers and
all these people, psychologists, psychiatrists, anybody who's part of the
Institute on Aging has fine tuned and focused on us,
and that is a tremendous advantage. Most of them in
the medical center, as we've talked about before, but also
many of them who spend at least a couple of

(19:25):
three days a week working in outlying hospitals and clinics
and offices. So you can go see them even if
you don't want to go to the med center, and
you'll be seen by someone who really truly understands what's
happening with your body, what's happening with your mind to
bring you to them. Ut dot edu slash aging. Check
out all the resources and find yourself somebody who can

(19:48):
help you live a longer, happier or healthy, more productive life.
Ut dot edu slash aging.

Speaker 1 (19:54):
Now, they sure don't make them like they used to.
That's why every few months we wash them, check his
fluids and spring on a fresh code O Wax. This
is fifty plus with Doug Pike.

Speaker 4 (20:05):
All Right, welcome back, Thanks for listening to fifty plus
broadcasting right here in the studio. Thank goodness too, because
last week, if you missed it, doctor Jan Blackstone and
I couldn't quite make the connection work. It is working
perfectly right now. That's me knocking on wood. Well, it's
not really would but it doesn't matter because I know

(20:27):
she's on the line. She also is. She's written a
very helpful book in my opinion, called Bonus Family, which
shares better ways to deal with families that have been
split by divorce or death and then introduced to not
necessarily a replacement, but a new partner for the person
who lost one and wanted to start something fresh in

(20:49):
the next chapter of their lives. So the author of
that book, as I said, doctor Jan Blackstone, is really
here this time, and I'm so glad. Welcome aboard, Doc.
So I just show I told Will right before we
came back on. I was tempted to prank you a
little bit and say I don't know, there's something wrong again,
but I didn't do it.

Speaker 2 (21:09):
I couldn't.

Speaker 4 (21:10):
I couldn't do that, So it really it's got to
be very awkward for the children and grandchildren on their
first Mother's Day when, for whatever reason, Dad shows up
with a new woman on his arm.

Speaker 3 (21:24):
Right, Well, I hope he doesn't do that on Mother's Day.

Speaker 4 (21:28):
Well that's a good thing.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
Introduce the new people. Oh god, I'm not on a holiday.

Speaker 4 (21:34):
Probably not the best way to ask that question on
an average day. When when is the appropriate time let's
go there?

Speaker 3 (21:43):
Well, when you know that this is somebody that's important
to you, then I would suggest that you do it
very slowly. You know, you don't just show up and say, hey,
this is my new group.

Speaker 4 (21:54):
Friend on a first date.

Speaker 3 (21:56):
No, no, okay. But the other thing is I mean,
if you've got it, like, are we talking about seniors now, yes, yes,
so okay, if you so, let's say you have a
deceased grandma's let's say that and grandpa that somebody knew,
you know. That's that it's just as complicated to bring
somebody in that's a grandparent as it was with a parent.

(22:20):
You have to go slow because the grandchildren are oftentimes
adults as well by that point, and they've established a
long relationship with the deceased grandparent, and so now you
have an allegiance and betrayal thing. How can you do
this to grandma? I mean, how could you do this
to mom? Kind of things. You really have to go
slow and not compare big, don't compare now that I've

(22:45):
got you know, now that this person has passed on,
I'm replacing them with this person. That's not it at all.
You have to acknowledge both of their importance.

Speaker 4 (22:54):
That's a very good point. And let's take care of
my audience first. It's the older people could that's good for?
And I ask I got to ask this question, when
is it better or is it better or worse? Really
for parents who don't get along? And I saw this
in the in the prep work, and I don't want
to miss it. So is it better to just split
up while the kids are younger or wait till they're

(23:15):
a little older?

Speaker 3 (23:17):
Oh you mean the people that wait until their children
are eighteen?

Speaker 2 (23:20):
Okay.

Speaker 3 (23:24):
I would suggest that you if you are having problems,
you do the best you can to put it together.
And if you can't split because I've never heard a
child ever tell me, and I've worked with thousands. Now,
I'm so glad my parents stayed together. And then broke
up when we got older because you're torturing the kids.
That's a very good thing you're making, you know, And

(23:44):
wouldn't it be. Everybody brings up certain people bring out
good things in other people, you know, you and so
you might meet somebody that you can really make it with.
And then you're demonstrating to the children about a good,
positive relationship because really, all you're giving your children if
you're fighting all the time, is how not to get along.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 3 (24:05):
That's not you know, and we really are teaching our
children how to have a relationship.

Speaker 4 (24:11):
So yeah, doctor John Blackstone on the Show with Me Today,
author of Bonus Family. If you haven't seen it yet,
go look for it and get a copy of it
if if you need it.

Speaker 2 (24:21):
For your family.

Speaker 4 (24:22):
Let's talk about with Mother's Day coming up, let's let's
get to that. How how do we how do we
honor all of that and keep all the moving parts together?

Speaker 3 (24:35):
Oh well, you know, that's a really good question, and
I was hoping that you would ask me that because
it really starts with mindset, you know, it starts with
how you're thinking and how you're approaching it all year round,
and there are new mother figures and mothers. It's not
you know, it's not two moms. Their mom is mom.

(24:56):
And there's a certain reality that we have to start
with and that because people don't stay together unfortunately. And
do you know that forty percent of all babies born
in the US are born to unmarried parents. Oh wow,
so we've got I know, it's huge.

Speaker 1 (25:12):
I know.

Speaker 3 (25:13):
So we've got a huge amount of people that are
trying to raise children and integrating different people into the family.
And if parents break up, there's a very high percentage
of that they're going to recouple. And so now you've
got you know, you're going to be raising your child
with somebody else, and your your ex is going to

(25:33):
be raising your child with somebody else. So parents have
to know that and go into it that way instead
of being jealous and angry. And this isn't a reality,
and so now it's time to put it all, to
put it all aside and start working together. And with grandparents,
there's even more kids because if everybody's breaking up. My
grandson has three grandmas, well, wow, he was raised with

(25:57):
three grandmothers. Because you've got me, he's got his mom's dad,
I mean, his mom's mom and he's got his dad's mom.

Speaker 2 (26:05):
Oh wow.

Speaker 3 (26:08):
So so you know there's there's a lot of grandparents
when people and what what about if the grandparents break up?
Now there's all sorts.

Speaker 2 (26:17):
Good heaven, everybody on the blocks coming to the.

Speaker 3 (26:19):
Party, exactly. And so then you have a day like
Mother's Day or Father's Day that rolls around and people
are going, how do.

Speaker 4 (26:26):
We do this? I saw a reference in the in
the material I got to to addressing that that new
person in there as a bonus grandmother.

Speaker 2 (26:37):
Why that?

Speaker 3 (26:37):
H Well, I always use the term bonus because it's
acknowledging an extra bonus is like if you're in sales,
it's a reward for a job well done. So it
doesn't because people aren't getting married unfortunately anymore, so you
don't have it. And STEP really implies marriage. So bonus
kind of goes all the way across the board and

(26:59):
it's something possible. And that's the reason I use it
instead of STEP.

Speaker 4 (27:03):
Talk again, if you would a little bit about the
importance of not comparing past and present spouses and partners
and just how destructive that can be.

Speaker 3 (27:13):
Oh, it really is, because I mean, it really doesn't
acknowledge the importance of the persons who's past or give
credit to the new person at all. So if you
don't compare them and just acknowledge them as individuals, loving
individuals that play a part in your life now or
in the past, that's what you have to do. Comparing

(27:34):
is the bane of bone families, because you you can't
compare kids, you can't compare moms, and you certainly can't
compare grandparents. You must respect everybody for who they are
and love them for who they.

Speaker 4 (27:46):
Are in your life.

Speaker 2 (27:48):
Yeah, that's a good point.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yes, And it doesn't respect them how.

Speaker 4 (27:54):
Doctor Blackstone should say, the adult child of somebody in
that situation, introduced to friends or neighbors or at a
Christmas party, whatever, that new person in their life, what
are they to him or her?

Speaker 3 (28:11):
Well, I would I would if it was me, I
would say, this is my dad's new friend, or my
dad's new girlfriend, or my dad's new partner. Yeah, that's
the way I would would do it. If my dad
was there as well, you know, because that's who it is.
And then when there was a more of a family feeling,
you might say, this is my bonus mom in this case.

(28:31):
But in that case, if you're just introducing somebody, they
want to know how that's related to you.

Speaker 4 (28:38):
Just be straightforward, don't try to sugarcoat it, don't try
to dance around it. Just say this is my dad's
new partner or whatever.

Speaker 3 (28:46):
Exactly exactly in the term bonus. In my case, I'm
divorced from my bonus kids. I mean I was married
to him for twenty three years. But so they are
still I'm very very close to them. Sure I still
talk all them, my bonus kids. No, wow, And I
haven't been doing it to their dad and their grand
and their children are my grandchildren, you know, are my

(29:08):
bonus grandchildren. Because once you're a bonus, you're always a bonus.

Speaker 2 (29:12):
Yeah.

Speaker 3 (29:12):
Once once you lead with love, you always lead with love.

Speaker 4 (29:15):
That's a very good point. Yeah, that never goes away,
if it's if it's real, it never goes away, does it.

Speaker 3 (29:20):
And I and there, you know, the people pass on
and I'm still around so I can still fill that
that role.

Speaker 4 (29:28):
So thank you very much, doctor jan Blackstone. Thank you
so much. Bonus Family, go look it up. It's available
just about everywhere. Awesome cool family books are sold. Thank you, doctor.

Speaker 3 (29:40):
You're welcome. It's called the Bonus Family Handbooks.

Speaker 4 (29:42):
Oh well, I'll fix that Bonus Family Handbook. Thank you
so much, all right, I know I wanted to get
it right for you.

Speaker 2 (29:49):
Thanks. All right.

Speaker 4 (29:50):
We got to take a little break here on the
way out. I'm going to tell you about Berry Hill.
If you've never eaten at berry Hill, you kind of
owe it to yourself. It's called berry Hill Baja Grill.
It's a family run restaurant down on fifty nine in
sugar Land at Sugar Creek Boulevard. Been around for I
want to say, thirty something years and has I don't know.
Many would argue the best fish tacos in town. Some

(30:12):
would maybe say nay. But I got my hand in there.
I love those things. My wife and I found berry
Hill when we moved into sugar Land about I don't
whenever they opened or whenever we got there, whichever was first.
It was just kind of an easy match and we've
been eating there ever since. Very casual, very family friendly restaurant.

(30:33):
You don't have to get dressed up. It's not that way.
It's a very comfortable, very homey feeling, very backyard barbecue
kind of a feeling. Only with some of the best
Mexican food you will ever eat in your life. I
am partial to the seafood enchiladas. My wife is partial
to the Baja chicken tacos, and we have tried a

(30:57):
lot of different things on the menu, frankly, and can't
find a bad one. I guarantee you that the people
who are in that kitchen, one of the reasons Berry
Hill has survived out there is because those same people
have been in that kitchen for a couple of them
more than a decade. It's a very consistent product. They
use the same recipe every time. Make sure you got

(31:18):
the same delicious meal on your plate every time you
go to Berry Hill.

Speaker 2 (31:22):
If you're new to.

Speaker 4 (31:22):
Sugar Land, walk through there, walk through the door and
just kind of announce yourself. I've actually seen this happen
where somebody came in and was talking to the server
or the person taking their order and mentioned that it
was their first time there, and somebody over in the
kind of the sports bar area with the high tops
just said, hey, come on over here, we'll tell you,
we'll show you the ropes. That's how comfortable, that's how

(31:45):
easy it is to have a good time at Berry hills.
Berryhill dot com is the website. And oh don't forget
the tresh letches. They got chocolate or vanilla, and yeah
both Berryhill dot com.

Speaker 1 (31:58):
Aged to perfection. This is fifty plus with Doug Pike.

Speaker 4 (32:03):
All right, welcome back forth, and final segment of the
program starts right now. From the Rocky Mountain Desk. I'm
gonna have to try to think of some of those
unusual little things I had Will, because I don't remember
if I printed him, they would be on the print.

Speaker 2 (32:17):
Frankly, would you do me a favorite?

Speaker 4 (32:18):
Just go look on that printer and see if they're
like two pages a little bits and pieces. I feel
like I did, but maybe I didn't. And if it's
not Frankie helping me out. By the way, he didn't
have to do that. He just jumped up because he's learning.
How's he doing? Will he's doing while he's out of
the room.

Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah, I like him, Frankly.

Speaker 4 (32:35):
I think he's got a good future around here. From
the Rocky Mountain Desk comes good outcome to a potentially
horrible situation. This past week, a teen girl who was
being held captive by a convicted sex offender was found
hiding in a closet in that man's Colorado home. Somehow

(32:55):
she was able to text a friend. I don't know how.
She must have gotten hold of his phone and gave
enough nothing there huh, dang it, dang it, that's okay.

Speaker 2 (33:05):
I'll be more for tomorrow.

Speaker 4 (33:07):
Somehow she was able to text a friend with enough
information that law enforcement was able to locate the house
and then, whilst searching it, locate her.

Speaker 2 (33:19):
The guys said he met.

Speaker 4 (33:20):
The girl, well, I'm sure she told them he met
the girl online and actually drove a considerable distance, being
very careful to bypass all the toll roads and avoid detection,
and then ultimately took her back to his place. And
he's been charged with doing pretty much everything you could
imagine him doing to someone who didn't want to be

(33:43):
there and was being held against her will. It really
bothers me to know that people are being held against
their will inness country and in the world, and it
actually happens. If you read the right stories, it happens
more often than you think most of us would. I
rather believe that it's a very rare occurrence. But after

(34:04):
having four years of open borders and seeing how many
people suddenly were being sex trafficked in here, and human trafficked.
It's probably worse than we think it is. It's very real,
that's for sure, and.

Speaker 2 (34:18):
It just needs to be stopped. It really does.

Speaker 4 (34:22):
From the topsy Turvy desk, by way of Breitbart comes
word that Harvard law professor emeritus, what is his name,
I can't recall Dershwitz, Alan Dershwitz. He pointed out a
pretty obvious thing when he noted in a television interview
recently that our country is making heroes out of criminals.

(34:42):
He mentioned most recently the judge who allegedly walked a
man wanted by ice at his attorney out of the
private back interests entrance to her chambers.

Speaker 2 (34:54):
And then of.

Speaker 4 (34:55):
Course there's the man accused of executing a corporate executive.

Speaker 2 (34:59):
It's got a husband father.

Speaker 4 (35:01):
The accused is accused of walking right up behind the
guy and shooting him in the back, and some Americans
actually want to see that guy not convicted. We're turning
these terrible people, Dershwititz said, into heroes. That's a quote
from him. And I have to wonder what's turning evil
into good and good into evil. It's a little scary,

(35:22):
honestly from the outer space desk and I have it
on in emails and a couple of phone calls. There's
a bigger piece of this audience, I think than you
would imagine, among whom there are outer space lovers and
people who wonder about alien life forms and this, that
and the other. Will, I forget your position on outer

(35:46):
space news. Are you pro anti or down the middle?
I like outer space news? Okay, yeah, I do too.
I find it very interesting. And this I saw the
video of this, and this is one of those things
things that if you're interested at all, you should go
find it and look it up. Okay, because it's video

(36:06):
taken from some observatory or some device that Will and
I and and Frankie would have a hard time operating
on our own without a lot of instruction. Me especially then,
probably wouldn't take that along. But the bottom line is
there was some mysterious round object. And it doesn't look

(36:27):
kind of a round. It looks really dialed in around that
just went soaring past the sun recently.

Speaker 2 (36:35):
When was caught on video? What was it? Will, What
do you think it was? I don't know. I haven't
seen it. A balloon, A beach ball.

Speaker 4 (36:44):
I don't proby would have melted a beach ball the sun,
you know, I don't know, And I don't know how
close it was.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
I don't know how far it was. I have no
idea what it was.

Speaker 4 (36:52):
You should look it up, will see if you can
pop it up orb passes by son do that. That
probably will get you there. I'm just kind of curious
to see what you think it could be. I don't
I'm not really sure. An above ground pool turned on
its side and rolled.

Speaker 2 (37:10):
Past the sun. Perhaps maybe I don't know when.

Speaker 4 (37:13):
Well, from the spin it are you looking at it?

Speaker 2 (37:17):
I just pulled it up.

Speaker 4 (37:19):
Okay, Well, it's only about a five second read something else?

Speaker 2 (37:23):
All right? Felt well from the from the well what
do you know? Desk?

Speaker 4 (37:26):
Just days behind Chinese Airlines being told to stop receiving
Boeing aircraft an MSN story about how China comes along
and has decided to play a little nicer with American businesses.
While the world's two largest economies are still a good
distance from long term stability. Uh, the China's latest tone

(37:49):
seems to be one leaning a little bit more strongly
toward negotiation, and I think that would be best for
the entire world. Frankly, we'll get through this. We will,
and with or without mainstream media being truthful about what's
going on and about the time for all of this
that's gonna happen. It's still it's still early. President Trump's

(38:14):
been in one hundred days. That's it, and there's there's
a lot that has happened. And I've said it before,
and it's it's cliche, but he's playing chess and a
lot of these other people are, uh, in media and
in some quiet countries, are kind of playing checkers, and
he's he doesn't. He doesn't do things. He seems to

(38:36):
do them on a whim. He seems to just say
risky things and do risky things. But I think he's
smarter than that, I really do. And I think he's
very calculated with what he says and to whom he
says it and and how he says it. And I
feel pretty good about where we're going to be in
a while.

Speaker 2 (38:56):
Uh.

Speaker 4 (38:56):
And in case you're wondering, the the most recent poll
showed that sixty two percent of Americans now are in
favor of deleting all the illegal immigrants from our country.
That's something he promised to do, and it is working
on and immigrants who want to return through proper channels
still will be able to do that, but they're just

(39:18):
going to have to do it.

Speaker 2 (39:19):
The right way.

Speaker 4 (39:20):
But to avert all sorts of hot mess problems for
this country moving forward, we have got to hit a
reset button.

Speaker 2 (39:27):
We just have to.

Speaker 4 (39:29):
We have to get back to being able to care
for Americans first and then for others who want to
live here. And maybe the people who want to keep
all those illegal migrants here would be willing to hows Oh,
I don't know a handful of them.

Speaker 2 (39:41):
Are we down to almost half? This? A weeconds?

Speaker 4 (39:45):
All right, let's go ahead and get out on time
for change. Thank you will, Glad we made it through here.
We'll be back tomorrow's same time, same station. Thanks for listening,
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