Ep. 4 | Your whole life is determined by two choices

Welcome to The 5 Great Questions podcast, where I ask people interesting questions, and you get to hear their answers.

My guest on episode 4 is a former roommate, but only for three months some 18 years ago. And yet somehow that short stint at a NorCal bachelor pad was part of a pivotal season for Jeff Dunkin of Bellingham, WA.

Jeff's story is likely relatable for many early 20-somethings, especially those who left college prematurely, who sensed something else pulling them altogether. From Northern Washington, it isn't hard to see how San Diego would send the siren call to a 20 year old wanderer, drawing Jeff with the promise of perfect weather and surfing with dolphins. Reality can be a b*tch though and Jeff had to pivot quickly, ending up at his cousins' house just north of San Francisco, just ten minutes from a little house with a cool yard that I was living in at the time, with two friends both getting married and on their way out. I'll let Jeff take it from here.

This is a great episode and I hope you enjoy the many nuggets a 40 year old can glean from (at the time) seemingly random events, that led him now to a happy life. If you'd like to be on a future episode go to aldenolmsted.com and tell me your story.

Enjoy ::

Episode Transcript

(00:02):
She actually talked, get out ofhere. Oh yeah, yeah, you've
really gotten into the bad habit ofasking a huge amount of questions that just
a question between friends, you know, she actually talked. All right,

(00:26):
Well, welcome to Five Great Questionspodcast. My name is Alden Olmstead.
As you probably know, this iswell, hopefully you know, this is
episode four. I never thought Iwould you get through one or two,
but here we are at four,so hopefully we'll keep rolling. But so
far, I appreciate the feedback I'vegotten. It's very small audience that is

(00:50):
listening, but they seem to beenjoying. And most importantly, I'll just
be one hundred percent honest, theguests of each each episode seem to really
enjoy delving into what we're going todelve into, so that to me is
the most important. I'm enjoying myself. It's one hundred percent casual, and

(01:12):
the whole premise behind the podcast isthat most of us get asked so many
questions on a daily and weekly basis. But we got to be honest.
They're necessary, they're not necessarily interesting, and they're certainly not interesting about ourselves.
They're very transactional. When are youcoming home? Did you remember X?

(01:34):
Did you remember? Why? Didyou send this bill? Did you
drop this off? Did you callyour parents? Did you see that silly
post that some dill friend sent somememe? So anyway, that's the premise
for the podcast is that we allcould use I like questions that cause your

(01:55):
mind to sort of do the recordscratch and wait a second, what did
he just say? That guy asked? You know? So anyway, that's
why we're here. And my guessthis week is, well, I don't
want to blow everything, so I'lljust tell you My guess this week is
someone who I also have some historywith from years past, as I do

(02:17):
with the previous three episodes. So, mister Jeff Duncan in uh, northern
northern Washington, what do you whatdo they call Bellingham? Do they call
that? What? I want toknow what the locals call Bellingham? It's
it's the last big city before youget big big city, before you get

(02:38):
to the border there. Okay,so the last So it's not like Reno,
the biggest little city. It's it'sthe last big city. You'll like
this. It's actually that the actualname of it is is the city of
Subdued excitement. Oh that's well,that's pretty awesome. I do like that.

(03:00):
Now. The only thing I wantto know and then we'll get rolling
here, is is there a localIPA called subdued excitement? Because if there
isn't, there should be no.I'll tell you what I call it.
Brewing Ham actually breweries in a town. I think we're eighty thousand, right

(03:21):
breweries, So you're basically which isI think the amount of saloons that Jack
London had in the town before hedrank himself to death. So tell the
locals, Hey, you know whathappened to this Jack guy. Be careful
if you start writing about trips tothe Yukon and visiting too many of these
freaking microbreweries. Okay, on thestreet, it's actually it's named after my

(03:42):
neighborhoods, the Sunnyland IPA, andit's my house beer if you will nice.
No, that's awesome, it is, you know what. It is
actually a cool little town. AndI was thinking right before we logged on
here that it is funny that thelast time I saw you was at your
little house in Brewingham on my wayto Nashville to move to Nashville. And

(04:06):
yes, for listeners. I tookthe long way to Nashville by way of
Bellingham and Saskatchewan. Uh, andthen to Nashville. But that's as my
as I want to do, sothat's a different podcast altogether. Okay,
So, mister Jeff, you havea wife and two cool little boys that

(04:26):
probably don't take after you at all. Now being sarcastic, okay, uh,
and and you have been Did youreceive the five questions that I sent
you earlier today? I did,and I chewed on them for a while,
and I'll tell you what, sogood. I have no idea which
one I would have chosen, SoI'm kind of hoping that you're gonna guide

(04:48):
me here. I'm excited. Okay, Well, let's try. So I
want there is one that I thatI think you're and my crossroads experience which
was very brief, which actually tome makes it more interesting that it was
very brief. Actually, So whydon't you tell me you're the one that

(05:08):
you would like to? If Isaid you can only pick one, you
tell me yours and I'll tell youmine and we'll see if they match.
Yeah. So one of the questionswas your life decision. Basically, you
have You've made two decisions and thathave affected your life. What are those
two decisions and how it affect you? And that was I feel like that
was probably the most fitting for wherewe could go in this. If you've

(05:30):
got it written down, you wroteit way better the way to question.
Yeah, no, that was theone I was hoping you would choose.
So, yes, you're the questionfor listeners. And I've been doing this
for When I say doing this,I mean testing out random questions to strangers
and friends for I don't know,fifteen years now ish, and it seems

(05:54):
that of all the questions, thatone gets the biggest record scratch, like
that's the deepest groove in the record. They all they all get response,
like you said, but that onegets the one where people go like,
well, how do you know it'stoo and you don't know me, dude,
and you know whatever, just whatever'sgoing through their minds. So okay,

(06:15):
So we're gonna go with that one, which I'm happy about. Is
there a number two you'd like tojust use as a little icebreaker just for
fun? You know? I thinkthe the travel, the you know,
trying to get around without without yourcell phone anymore. But that's yes,
that's well, you know what Iwas gonna call this analog stories. Oh

(06:36):
I like that, I know,I know, I see, I was,
I was torn. I know,I was. I was torn.
I but I but then I feltlike I was pigeonholing it. And then
everyone would be like, oh,there's those ludites on this on this podcast,
man, and all they do ishate on phones, and I don't
know, I just didn't, youknow. But there are some great stories

(06:57):
and challenges about what we all didpre phone, pre internet, how we
got around it. Just it's veryinteresting. So so the reason I put
that in there is because I findthat that does open up people's minds to
a lot of stories. So andas you know, I like stories,
is that one thing you know aboutme? As a matter of fact,

(07:17):
I do know that. Okay,so everyone's everyone's going, man, you
guys, this is a hell along intro to quote NorCal terminology. But
let's begin with Yes, your wholelife is determined by two choices. Tell
me about yours. Yeah, itwas, it was, so I guess

(07:42):
it's it's you and me. Let'slet's get right down to it. When
I live up in Bellingham, that'skind of where I've spent the majority of
my youth. And I was goingto college at Trinity Western up in Langley,
BC, British Columbia. And Ihad been going to a small school,
Trinity Western, and I had gonethrough a breakup in my sophomore year

(08:03):
and I just no direction, notsure what I was doing, spending a
bunch of money on college, andI said, you know what, screw
it, I don't I don't knowwhat I want to do here. And
so I took a leap, andI said, I'm gonna I'm gonna move
to San Diego. Man, I'mgoing to Point Loma. Magurine, one
of my buddies was down there,and if you know anything about Point Loma,

(08:24):
it's this beautiful Christian college that's righton the beach. It was absolutely
stunning. So I wake up onemorning. I helped him move back from
college one summer, and I wakeup one morning in his in his dorm
room, and I look out thewindow and it's a surfing community, right,
So all the roommates are gone,and you know me, I slept

(08:46):
in too late as usual, andso I look out the window and there's
all my roommates roommates, his roommates, and they're surfing and they're literal dolphins
jumping along as this guy was surfing, and I was like, I'm never
going back to be seen. Okay, so hold on, let's let's pause
just a minute. So number Sois this the first choice? Is this

(09:09):
the number one of the two?Number one? Okay? Number one?
No, there is number one.Now. The other thing is is were
you Are you born and raised Bellingham? No? Actually, I was born
in Ohio. I'm a buck Eye. Oh wow. Family. Yeah.
Family moved to Nevada, where mymom is from, when I was three,
and so we lived there for soI was about ten years old,
and then we moved up to Lynden, Washington, which is known for at

(09:33):
the time, there's about eight thousandpeople there, but there were thirty seven
churches in a town of eight thousand, so most churches per capita. And
my dad he was a minister.Wow, that's so interesting. That's so
interesting because I once read that Seattlewas like the number one or number two
least churched a city, or maybeI read that Washington was one of the

(09:54):
least church states. It is,Okay, so within the least church state.
You were in one of the highestchurch towns in the least church Okay,
okay, talk about a little littletrip, but yeah, good,
it was No, it was good, and it was a great place to
grow up, a conservative community,so you know, we could stay out

(10:16):
all hours and it was a lotof fun but pretty safe. Yeah,
so let's go. So let's getI want to stay on track because I
know I have a tendency to digress. So one of the interesting things about
this question is that sometimes people willthink they're answering it, but they're actually
not going far back enough to reallyanswer it. So when when you say

(10:37):
you think your first pivot point wasyou wanted to take a break in San
Diego? Right, yeah, okay, what take go backwards in your mind
to were you sitting in class inBellingham where you did someone say, hey,
you should check out San Diego,Like, go backwards in your mind
and really pinpoint where that point Lomacame from. Yeah, well, uh,

(11:03):
going back further than that, Imean when I was when I was
a kid living in Nevada, youknow, I was probably like five years
old, and my my folks said, let's let's hop in the car.
We're going to San Diego, youwant to check out the zoo. And
so that was my whole understanding ofSan Diego. And I don't remember flights.
You know, we drove everywhere whenI was a kid, and so,

(11:24):
you know, as I got older, and you know, in in
in high school, I met thisguy. He was this awesome dude.
He had this spalding green hair.This is what two thousand and his name
was John Slagel, and he turnedout to be my best friend. And
so John grew up in San Diego, actually in on what's the island down

(11:50):
there? It's this, oh,Coronado, you grew up. Oh my
gosh. Yeah, just like there'slike twenty seven people that live on Coronado.
I mean not literally, but youknow, no, it's it's true,
like hyper privileged. But he was, you know, he's a middle
class dude. It wasn't like aone of those situations, you know,
no, no silver spoon. Yeah. Yeah. So John was my connection

(12:11):
to San Diego and and you know, he talked about it off and I
got to know his family and there'swonderful people. So it always kind of
niggling in the back of my brain. Okay, So but but that little
bit that trip when you were akid, that that was your first inkling
that like paradise exists, the palmisLand might exist, especially for a kid

(12:35):
who grew up in in Fallon,Nevada. You know what I mean,
you're high desert. Just so whenyou saw when you I mean, just
be honest. This is a sidenote, but come on, when you
first saw point break point break,and Keanu Reeves says he's just an orphan
kid from Ohio wants to learn howto serve you, you had to be
like, do those me, dude, That's why. That's it. It

(12:58):
was my It was my Bill andTed excellent adventure to San Diego. Oh
that's awesome. I had no ideathat you were. I thought you were
from Nevada. I didn't know youwere I mean born and raised. Okay,
yeah, no, I'm seeing afew places. And my folks.
Here's the other thing too, allis when I was when I was seven
years old, my folks threw usin the back of this old econoline band

(13:22):
and all right, we're going fromNevada all the way up to northern Ontario
to where my dad's uncle had acabin. Uncle Gilbert's cabin. So we
drove all the I mean, youtalk about going the long way around.
Tried doing that with four kids inthe back of the in the middle of
summer, with no ac and thosewindows, you remember those windows, they

(13:45):
would never pop they popped down,they didn't go down, so they just
But anyway, so I knew.I knew that paradise existed elsewhere because I
saw what the rest of the countrylooks like, Oh wow, no,
that's awesome. Okay, So thenyou know, I want to honor my
audience. I really do. Soyou're you're in San Diego, You're looking

(14:05):
out the windows, You're seeing dolphins. I mean, this is like,
you couldn't get more sterio. Thisis like an ad for California. Basically
you basically were living an advertisement forlike so Cal beaches. I mean,
height, man, I felt likelike the governator was going to start narrating
it, you know, to goto Florida, yeah in my dream,

(14:28):
you know. And so I saidI couldn't. I couldn't go back.
I couldn't go back. But here'swhere it got more challenging was that I
had scholarships up at Trinity Western.You know, it was there was no
I could go there. You know, I was enrolled, I was ready
to go. I had plans,I was in student government, I had
all these things going on up there. But it just didn't feel right.

(14:48):
And so I said, I'm takinga shot here and I'm going to go
to San Diego. I'm going togo to Point Loma. And I have
a great relationship with my folks.Just a little diversent story here. Uh.
Never had a real argument with myfather. I was very lucky to
have just an amazing dad who wasalways supportive, corrective, but supportive of

(15:09):
my dreams. And that was onewhere I said, Dad, I'm not
going back to Trinity. And hesaid, well, how are we going
to pay for college here? AndI said, I don't know. You
got to figure it out, takeout some loans. And he said I
can't do that. And so heand my mom prayed for, you know,
two nights straight, and he calledme up while I'm sitting in a
dorm room with John and he says, Son, I can't. I can't

(15:31):
put you in debt forever. Wecan't afford to do it. And so,
you know, I said, well, you're going to be sorry.
Is what I said. I said, you're going to be sorry, and
he said, are you threatening me? And I said no. I totally
went sideways. It's this weird moment. And I just remember, you know
what, He's probably right and I'mspeaking out of turn here. And so
I said, okay, well,I'm going to get my stuff figured out.

(15:52):
And it wasn't like I'm going toheadstrong and I'm going to go above
you or anything like that. Ijust said, I got to find a
way to get out on that beachand surf with dolphins. That's awesome.
So okay, so let's let's justkeep the timeline going. What what what?
What year of college is this thatyou bailed from Trinity. It was
my sophomore year, so this wouldhave been in two thousand and four,

(16:15):
okay, two thousand and four.Yeah, And so you believe this is
pivot number one, This is decisionnumber one, because you number one,
your life was on a track.I don't know what you would have done.
What was your major? Well,that's it gets a little more complicated
there, but that's a different Iwas. I was in communications, hoping
to be a filmmaker like yourself,right, That's what my dream was.

(16:36):
But after that, I just realizedthat it's it's a it's a lot,
as you know, and it's ittakes more than anybody would ever understand unless
they're doing it. And I knewthat it wasn't wasn't my passion enough to
make that dream come to life.And so I decided I wanted to be
a history teacher. And you canimagine, you can imagine this red,

(16:59):
white and blue yank you trying toteach Canadian history with my Canadian college degree.
I said, that's not going tofly. So that's where we were
going. And I mean I wasreally floating. I didn't know what I
wanted to do, and I didn'twant to not know for thirty thousand dollars
a year, you know, right, And so the dream at Point Loma
was big enough. There I couldget back into communications, probably a different

(17:21):
direction within that, but you know, more than anything, it was just
I wanted that beautiful college experience.Ye you know, no, I get
it. Yeah, So that didn'tpan out the way I thought because I
couldn't afford it. But in Californiaat that time, they said, if
you are a resident for a year, you get in residence pricing for school,

(17:45):
and that would have shaved off liketen fifteen thousand dollars on my tuition
bill. So I said, heck, yeah, I'm going to do that,
but I can live in San Diego. I happen to have cousins that
live in Petaluma, Nikola and Johnny, and my my Danish uncle, uncle
Fleming, and my aunt married mymom's sister. Just wonderful people. So

(18:07):
I call it my cousin Nickolas,a couple of years older, mutual friend,
and uh, I said, nick, I got to figure this out.
He says, come crash on myon my couch, like, come
come live with us, do itfor a few months, and you know,
start working towards residency and YadA yadas. So so I did throw my
step in the back of in theback of my Volkswagen Jetta and we went

(18:30):
on a trip. That's right,So so was the Jetta with the Jetta?
Was your first car? Was?No, that was like my six
car. I don't have as manyas you do, but that was I
had a lot of cars growing up. Well, if that was your if
that was multiple and you were stillin college, you must have burned through
a couple early I got stories fora day? Is how many podcasts do
you want to do it? Ithink I think you and I would have
a what's your number? What?Forty two? The cars? Yeah?

(18:55):
Oh no, I'm I actually justhave a truck. I never thought i'd
be a truck guy, but Ithink the truck I have is number seventeen.
Okay, come on all those otherstories well, I mean, I
mean there's if you count the twothat I bought for the movie eighteen.
I was just thinking about maybe theones that you're not talking about because th

(19:15):
HP has confiscated them as you pulledthe vend number off the side and they
had to pick them up. Well, No, that's a good that's that
That story does need a podcast that. Yeah, never never abandoned your car
in a California state park when it'swhen you think it's not registered to you
yet but it actually is. Sidenote. Yeah, so invite you did

(19:37):
it? Yeah that's a good one. Yeah, okay, so we're on.
So we're so the only thing I'mconfused about are we on question?
Are we on the number? On? In between? No? This is
where I mean, so I guessthis is where it's the story gets really
good for me because I'm living inmy my cousin's bedroom and he's let me

(20:03):
sleep on his bed while he's ona futon. It's not more than you
know, by twelve in there,and he's a twenty three year old man,
Like, yeah, he didn't needme crashing in his bedroom for that
long. And so now quickly,now hold on, quick little pause,
let's be let's be honest, becausethis, I do believe this, what
I'm just about to say right now, does happen to a lot of people
in California. It happened to mewhen I went down to college in LA.

(20:25):
The perception that that you know,you go to southern California and everything
is right on the water is simplynot true. So when I got to
college and I was forty minutes andI think I think I counted one time,
it was like twenty seven stop lightsbetween me and the beach. I
think the beach. I think thatwas one of the disappointments that I was
like, yeah, I know thisis so col but this is not doing

(20:48):
it for me, this suburbia,right, So let's be honest. You
you left the dolphins and the andthe point break Johnny Utah surfers to live
in Pedaluma, which, don't getme wrong, Pedaluma is a col little
town, but in the suburbia itit it it might as well be you
know, Modesta or something. Imean, if you're just on a cul

(21:08):
de sac. I just mean,if you're on a cul de sac.
I know people are gonna say,oh, the summer's in Modesto. I'm
just talking about your experience in thatbedroom. It's like, all of a
sudden, I wonder were you alreadythinking. Shoot, man, my dad
was right like, oh, absolutely, you know. I mean, you
wake up one morning and you're like, I've got to make a whole bunch

(21:29):
of new friends. I just leftthis whole life that I had before.
And I love my cousins. I'lltell you that I had a wonderful time,
a great experience, and you know, even in the weirdest of circumstances,
stories for for for days, butbut it really You're absolutely right.
It was not the dream that Ihad planned. But I always thought of
it as this is a stepping stone, you know, I'm just doing this

(21:51):
for a year and then boom,I'm right back down south. Everything's cool.
So the one hundred percent goal wasjust to get your residency and get
back to Point Loma. That wasit. That was the only thing that
I wanted. That was okay,thing that I wanted. But you know,
as as most good stories go,you you find yourself starting to fall
in love with the place that youdidn't plan to. And I met some

(22:15):
great people. I went to acool church there, Hessel and uh,
that probably brings up some good memoriesfor you as well, because that was
that was our our crew. Thatwas the way that you and I were
able to connect. And and sothey they welcomed me into this cool church
community. When I didn't have anyfriends, I didn't know what I was
doing. I started working at Starbucksafter a couple of failed experiences. I

(22:38):
actually did construction for five minutes.And if anybody knows these these soft,
delicate hands that they laughed to hearthat story about the side of buildings from
twenty foot scaffolding. You know,but I did. I did. Oh
that's that's awesome. Hey, Idid. I did sheet rock and gig

(22:59):
Harbor, Washington, and for sixweeks, I didn't know that. Yeah.
With Chris Asset during during a hotminute of of oh, maybe I'll
be a sheet rock worker in Washington, And yeah, you made a good
decision to not pursue that any further. You know what I think it was
when I had two five eighths fourby eight sheets on my head putting up

(23:21):
in a garage in the middle ofJanuary in Gig Harbor, and I thought,
I don't know, man, thisis this is the moment you contemplate
life. Right, these are mysand said, all of a sudden,
you know what, stand back atMom's for six months. That doesn't look
so bad actually right now? Okay, So so I but I still want

(23:41):
I still want to know are westill on hivot point one or would getting
to? Okay, you want meto get there? I just I just
want you to. I just wantyou to. I want to know when
we're done with one and we're goingto two. Well, it's it's good
and closed. So I I guessthis is the life decision that So when

(24:06):
I was down there, I fellin love with this place, and I
fell in love with these people,and I started to have these incredible experiences
and I started to see what youwould call real California. And you really
opened my eyes to so much aboutthe beauty of the place that we were
in, and you know, Ihope I get to tell some of those
stories. But but where this ledto was, you know, in my

(24:30):
loneliness and starting to make these newfriends, I happened to reconnect with a
girl up north and back back home, and so I would spend three hours
a day on my cellphone talking tothis girl that was not there. And
so I'm in this incredible place thatyou know, I was at twenty one

(24:53):
years old, thinking, you know, this is it. But I didn't
have the perspective at the time oflike knowing that you're in the good,
good old days when you're there,And I mean, I knew it was
amazing. I knew it was good. I was enjoying it, but I
didn't know it enough to say,hey, you can wait, you know,
like, and I don't mean inthe derogatory manner, but like that

(25:15):
was just that was something else thatwas distracting me from where I should have
been put And how did you andhow did you reconnect with her? Oh
gosh, she wanted to make Tshirts that said I met my boyfriend on
Facebook my Space. Oh, thatsounds like something I would do. Yeah,

(25:36):
Oh my gosh, that awesome.Yeah, no, she was.
She was a nice, nice gal. But you know, things didn't work
out when I moved back because Ispent what nine months, I didn't even
get to my whole year of residencyin California. Oh my gosh, I
biffed it. I absolutely face planted, you know. And there was one
one night al didn't. I wasout with the crew from Kessel. It

(25:59):
was after hours. I was onthe phone with with this gal and and
I'm sitting in the car. Wegot to the beach with you know,
its stars are out, it's thisperfect night. I can't remember which beach
it was, Sam Creek probably,yeah, and uh. And it was
like, I mean, I'm inthis heavenly spot with all these people building

(26:22):
the bonfire on the beach, justhaving fun. And I'm back in the
car on the phone with this thisperson. And I thought I was in
the right spot, you know.I was like, Ah, this is
my my future wife or something stupidlike that, and just missed that moment.
Man right on the other side ofthe windshield, and I just couldn't
wrap my head around, hey,it's time to hang up and go Yeah,

(26:42):
And that was. That was sortof the story of how a lot
of my experiences went. Is thatyou know, they're they're in they're stuck
in my mind. But I can'tquite say that I was a participant.
You know, I just saw it. You know, there's a yeah,
there's there's there's a there's a moviethere. Well, I don't know if

(27:03):
a movie, there's a short thereat least that idea. I mean,
that's almost because I think there's alot of stories that start with the protagonists
saying, you know, life washappening, but I wasn't really a part
of it, even though it wasaround me, you know. But but
that's not one hundred percent true.I mean, you were you know,
you you did give it a shotdown in San Diego. You had you

(27:26):
had a plan. I mean,you had a twenty year old plan,
which now as we look back nowwe can say, oh, you had
a twenty year old plan. Yeahit's not a real plan, but but
that doesn't mean it's not a planlike for in your mind right then that
was that was the only planning thatyou knew. So it's interesting that I

(27:47):
just I think a lot of peoplecan relate to that of maybe not appreciating
whether it is. You know,they were working too much when their first
kid was born, right, that'svery common they you know, they were
like me, I'm a caregiver rightnow with for my mom. I'm trying
to I'm trying to take notes andsoak it all in because I don't want

(28:08):
to miss this. This is thisis gold. There's some gold that happens
with with mom just spouting out somehilarious things that are you know that I
sometimes she doesn't mean to and andit's just yeah, it's just pretty awesome.
So but I think a lot ofpeople can relate to that. Yeah,

(28:30):
yeah, yeah. And I alwaysthought in my mind that I was
you know, I had been toldI was wise beyond my years, too
young, and I assumed that wasactually the case, and it's not.
You know, I always thought Iwas smarter than I was. You know,
what's the old saying, like,you know, I wish that I
had told my dad. I can'tremember how it goes, but basically it

(28:52):
comes down to you don't realize howdumb you are until you get older,
right exactly why? But you know, I thought that I was doing the
right thing, establishing she's a goodChristian girl, good family, all that
stuff, and that wasn't the case. But as we all know, these
these things have a tendency to shapewho we are and how we how we

(29:15):
turn things around. I mean,I was lucky enough when I came back
after stuff didn't work out with herthat I did reconnect with who is now
my wife and we just you know, tear and it was I wouldn't have
done that had it not been forthat failed relationship and coming back. Oh
so so is the failed relationship pivotnumber two? Yeah, that was it
was leaving California because cad I.Had I not come back home, I

(29:40):
probably would have. I mean,at the worst, I would have been
at Sonoma State right and continued thatadventure. And I mean, god knows
where we would have landed there.I had nothing but beautiful memories. But
so you didn't, Okay, sohold on, so so so number pivot
Pivot number one, or decision numberone is to go down to Point Loma,

(30:00):
which also led to a short stintin northern California. Now, let's
for the audience that doesn't know,because I actually still I actually don't remember.
How how did you become my roommatefor what was it, only three
months? See, I don't rememberhow it happened, you know, I

(30:21):
remembered it was so my my unclea wonderful man, but he he valued
work ethic and Starbucks wasn't really doingme, and he favors in his eyes.
And he said, you know,I gotta be honest with you.

(30:41):
We gotta we gotta figure out thisrent situation because I had been basically couch
surfing for four months from that point, and uh, you know, he
was charging me hundred bucks for foodand whatnot, but I'm sure that my
thirty minute showers probably added up prettyquick. So so eventually I was like,
well, shoot, you know youdo that. I don't want to

(31:03):
be sharing a room with my cousin. And I'm sure Nikolay had gotten tired
of sleeping on his futon, thoughhe'd never say otherwise, good man.
But so there was this uh,this uh, this lanky gentleman that I
ran into from Hessel and he cameinto this event a group of friends together.
I can't remember what restaurant it was, but he popped in. He

(31:26):
happened to be a little older thanthe rest of him. So I was
I was talking crap to him,trying to puff myself up, feeling cool.
And you know, I don't rememberthat. I don't know where where
was this. It was probably itwas like a coffee shop. I don't
know. You were just in andout. It was. It was really
a fleeting moment, really. Butand you would and and and we we

(31:49):
were you were talking smack or somethingor you never you you laughed, you
didn't, you know, And Idon't. I don't consider myself an arrogant
person or anything like that, butI like, I don't know what it
was in me that I felt thatit was a good idea to start to
start poking at you. I mean, the only one, the only one.
Yeah, you were what thirty fourat that time? Right, it's

(32:10):
possible, yeah, probably thirty threethirty four? Yeap. So I mean
it's funny because you know, beingthe old guy, shoot man, that's
like you're a young man, youngman, you're thinking the world, isn't
I just felt ancient to a twentyone year old old. Heck yeah,
I thought, But so what did? But so you just you we just
started bantering a little bit. Justyou were talking back and forth. I

(32:34):
mean, you you were nicer thanI was about it. You laughed,
you gave me some grace in that, and you didn't push me away either,
which you probably should have. Butuh, there was a guy that
had been living with you. Hisname escapes me now, but he was
I believe getting getting married or hadto move out or something was going on.
I know Chris was engaged at thatpoint. Chris was, Oh,

(32:57):
Kevin, Kevin spolining. Yeah,Kevin's spool. There we go. Okay,
so he was he had to scoot. And Kevin and I briefly worked
together in the construction deal, andhe's like, I'm moving out. He's
got a spot. Yeah, you'regonna love this. So my aunt Mary,
who's the sweetest woman, my auntMary, anytime that your name would

(33:19):
come up in conversation around the house, she said, oh, that all
did. Oh he's so sweet thatall and such a sweet man. And
so I was like, you knowwhat, he's a cool dude. It's
a it's a neat opportunity for meto get out. And I saw the
Katati bungalow and dude, we thatwas it. I was like, I'm
out, and I think you werecharging what it was less than four hundred

(33:40):
bucks rent or something stupid like that. It was dirt, yeah, it
was. It was dirt cheap.It was dirt cheap. I still that
little that little place I yeah tofind, to find a three bedroom house
for twelve hundred bucks. I mean, even in even at that time was
ridiculous. We were all paying fourhigh hundred. And then we were chipping
in for cable, which you mightnot have chipped in for, which doesn't

(34:02):
matter. But the only thing youhad to deal with was you know,
the the rats, and then thecat and then you know, and then
Chris and then Chris Sell on thecouch you know, uh, which have
actually turned out to be some ofthe best parts of the story on my

(34:23):
way out. Not to jump toofar ahead, but Chris made me a
mixtape. People don't do that anymore. He made me a CD and I
still have today that every once ina while pop on and reminisce. But
oh that's awesome. You know,you said something really cool the other day,
al and we don't. We don'tconnect as often as i'd like as
his real life or a husband andsomebody doing their own thing. But you

(34:47):
said that, you know that thatthese moments like they're short. It was
a short, sweet time. Butfor me, it was so darn impactful.
I mean, we had what threemonths together, but here we are.
I'd even as I say that,Yeah, even as I say that,
I don't believe it. Like inmy mind, I think now it

(35:07):
had to be five or six.But no, I think you're right.
I think it was just three orfour months. So it wasn't the death.
It's ridiculous. So so before wego to pivot number two, which
I'm assuming is Taran, what what? Why was that three months so impactful?

(35:30):
You know, it's a it's areally powerful question because it was the
first time that the training wheels wereoff for me. You know, it
was the first time that I actuallyhad a you know, a real roommate,
you know, a couple of us. And it was the first and
it was chat Was it Chad orGreg? That was it was Chad,

(35:51):
but it was Chris was there.Chris was there for a little bit.
He was engaged with Laurie at thattime, and so he's, you know,
thinking wedding and I'm seeing seeing youguys. You know, being the
older, wiser of the bunch,I got to witness what it was like
to be a real man for aminute and support yourself and get ready for
the next thing. And you know, I mean it was funny. I

(36:13):
was thinking about my first paycheck fromStarbucks. I think it was like four
hundred and twenty two dollars or somethinglike that for two weeks worth of work,
and I thought, ah, Iearned that, you know what I
mean, and all of it wentto rent. And it was you know,
but that was I was. Iwas stoked. I was stoked,
right, And you know, Igrew up in a lot of ways.

(36:34):
There was a funny you know,also being a Midwest kid in some ways.
I know that I talk about theNorth, but my heart is still
I still wave at people when I'mdriving, you know. But there was
something really special about the California lifestylethat I just it changed me, you
know, it grew me in alot of ways. It was okay to

(36:59):
kind of try and fail, Iguess, and or maybe it gave you
the license that it was okay tofail. I don't know. I'm not
putting your words in mouth. I'mjust put I'm just that was it,
and that was it. And Iwouldn't say that my time down there was
necessarily a failure, but it waskind of bouncing. You know. That
was the first time I had alegitimate reason to lose a job, you

(37:20):
know, to be truly fired,as opposed to like, hey, we
were downsizing or whatever. That wasthe first time that I had to pull
my weight in the house, youknow, I mean, my folks said
all that stuff. You know,you yeah, whatever, but you know,
I mean remembering you needed the lawnmode. This is this is a
good one. I think you forgetthat you needed the lawn mode, as

(37:44):
any normal twenty one year old shouldhave known better. Like go freaking mow
the lawn. And I remember gettingout and you kept waiting on me.
I'll get to it, all though, I'll get to it. And finally,
you know, it's a Saturday,it's sunny, it up at noon
or something stupid like that, andI get out to start mowing the lawn

(38:04):
and it runs out of gas.And rather than being a grown up,
I was like, well, it'sout of gas. I'll guess I'll get
that when I'm out shopping next orwhen I decided to leave the house next
time. You get home from workand you're like dude, what's the lawnmower
doing out in the middle of thefront yard. I was like, like

(38:25):
three strips of grass that have beentaken care of. And I was like,
well, I ran out of gas, and I swear you were going
to pull the hair out of yourhead right then and there. I'm surprised
you didn't just kick me out atthat moment. You're like, dude,
get gas. Well, and whatmade it better was that Chrissell, bless
his heart, was sleeping on theother couch in the living room at the

(38:49):
time. So it's not that it'snot just that the lawn wasn't mowed.
I didn't really care that much.I wasn't the homeowner. I was just
the home renter. But I waskind of funny. I thought, oh,
what what is he does? Doesn'tknow how to work it? Did
he hit a bottle or something?You know? And then I come in
and we had the We did havethese two awesome couches. You can tell

(39:09):
about the couches, but you weresprawled out on the one couch. And
then I look over and as if, you know, as if it takes
two people to not know alan,there's this other dill sprawled out on the
other couch and both dudes are fastasleep and the lawn is still not mode,

(39:31):
and I'm like, man, thisis this is a joke just waiting
to write itself here. I mean, I'm not a dad, but man,
my parents would have been so embarrassedto know what a horrible roommate I
was from that standpoint. You know, I thought that I could get away
with it by just being charming andfun to be around. But it's like

(39:51):
even I wasn't good at that halfthe time. So, I mean,
it was new, it was hotout, so I had to come and
laid out on the couch for aminute, and then sure enough we're both
crashed down. So so did didso? Did Chris? Did Chris knock
on the door and say, uh, what's you know, what's going on?

(40:12):
And you just or or did youjust wake up? And he was
asleep too. I can't remember,but that sounds about right. I'm pretty
sure that he just was whatever.You know, That was how we rolled
back then. It was just likewhat's what what's the care? I don't
know what that is? You know. Yeah, well the girl, the
girl that wanted to make the theMySpace t shirt. I'm sure you've got

(40:35):
a couple of T shirts in herefrom this stories. Okay, So,
if if this were a normal podcast, we'd have an ad right here,
and this would be talking about,you know, the running shoes that feel
like bare feet or something or whateversome supplement. So let's well pretend that
that just happened, and let's uh, let's go on to what you feel

(40:58):
is your decision number two, whichuh totally changed or pointed your life in
the direction that it's in now.Yeah, relocating to leave all of that
behind and pack all my stuff upand and find my way back up to
Washington, and you know, justkind of kind of not giving up on

(41:19):
the dream, pursuing a different one, but one that I thought was more
practical, right, And what wasthe impetus? See I again, I
don't even remember what was the impetusthat that kicked you off? That it
was that I got tired. Ithought that my cell phone was going to
start growing into my face because ofthe amount of time that I was talking
to this woman. And you know, it was just this foolishness for me

(41:42):
to be spending all this time onthe phone and when I could just be
up there, you know, andso and so I I I'm not going
to say I abandoned it, butI left thinking that I was making a
practical decision, that it was aSo you thought, yeah, so this
girl you had reconnected with down inSan Diego, that you're still attached to
it at the hip or at thephone. And then you had a flip

(42:05):
phone. I think if I remember, right before the Razors came out,
I had a little Sony Erickson,and she called it was it was a
jackpot sound. So that's nice tohear that. Oh my god, Well
that's fitting because you spent some timein Reno, so that's fitting. Okay,
So you think, you know whatI've done, this California thing.

(42:27):
But let's face it, these theseroommates are are getting married and moving on.
I'm gonna maybe get married and moveon, you know, And and
so I'm going to pack up,and you know what, California has been
great, but we'll see you.Was that, yeah, yeah, And
you know, in in retrospect,and I mean at the time too,
I guess I knew that I wasprobably making a rash decision, but it

(42:53):
was a rash decision to get downthere in the first place too. You
know, I I wonder, Istill wonder to this day, had I
just stuck it out and called itquits on that relationship, would I would
I be in northern California because itholds that deer place in my heart.
I know things have changed significantly upthere, and maybe it's that same story

(43:14):
of like leave the party while it'sstill good. But you know that's that's
you feel like there was some unfinishedbusiness. And I lied to myself saying
that I was making the right choice, a good choice. I had to
convince myself of it to leave.And you know, when I got up
it wasn't. It wasn't. Threemonths after I had moved back there,

(43:36):
I realized that that relationship wasn't goingto work. You know, wonderful gal,
but it just wasn't right. Andso now I'm now I'm doing the
same thing before. So what Sowhat? What what did life look like?
Uh? You know when you firstgot back, was it was it
three months at the parents' house?Was it was it just grab some quick

(43:57):
friends from high school and said,you guys, man, I need just
a quick fix. What did itlook like? Yeah? Well, you
know I had been most of myfriends had gone off to college, and
at least the ones I had grownup with. I had an awesome buddy
who also had kind of I thinkhe did a two year thing at school

(44:17):
and ended up coming back to Bellingham, and so, you know, I
was with my parents for a coupleof months and then I was like,
Okay, I got used to beingnot with them, so I moved out
with my buddy, Casey. Iwas working at Starbucks at the time,
the mother ship still when I hadtransferred up. And here was what was
cool is that my manager there,she was you know, being in northern

(44:45):
Washington, we were really close tothe mothership of Starbucks, and so I
actually had a lot of great experienceswith that company. I got to go,
you know, I met the presidentsof the company, Award Schultz and
all those character and I got togo to these conferences and I ended up
getting to Sonics games because Schultz ownedthe Sonics at the time, and that

(45:07):
was a huge thing for me.It was basketball, and so you know,
I was in the box seats withthe Starbucks stuff. So it was
it was an alright adventure for atthat point I was twenty two. I
thought it was cool and they're fasttracking me. And you know, I
saw a lot of older people thathad you know, real real careers there
and so sure, well, andlet's face it, I mean it was

(45:30):
it was the it was the inand out burger of Washington, or maybe
it still is. I don't know, but yeah, yeah, so so
there's no no shame in it,and it was and especially at your age,
it was completely reasonable to just gofor it. You know, I
had health insurance, I had alot of fun. I love people.
That was a big part for me. Is I just enjoyed chatting. You

(45:51):
know, the stakes were relatively low. I was allowed to be myself,
you know. I mean now they'vetaken it to a whole different level of
being yourself, but that's another conversationyourself and someone else and someone else and
someone else. But yeah, that'sright. But but it was a good
it was a really good gig forme. And so I did that for
a little while until you know,I had always had in the back of

(46:13):
my mind, uh, this girlthat I had met at college, she
had a boyfriend of like seven yearsat that point. My my my wife
now Taran, and so I wouldn'tsay, I patiently waited because I had
some adventures along the way. Butthere was one one day while I was
living with Casey. We had thiscool duplex and lots of adventures there,

(46:35):
but I was lonely, you know, I was lonely. Uh, and
and so I I was just onFacebook or no, it was ms N
at that point was the m wasn'teven like all that hot at the point
that, as you biqu what isnow? I mean maybe on the other
side. But and Tarran, mywife is an artist, and uh,

(46:59):
just a creative and so fun,very clever, very just the funniest person
I've ever met. Honestly, She'sso witty. So I saw her posting
stuff and at that time, onthe Messenger, if you're listening to music,
it would say what music was playing, and she happened to be listening

(47:21):
to Amsterdam by Coldplay, and thatthat song meant a lot to me at
that time. I went through alot of stuff and it just you know,
I'm a romantic, So I waslike, hey, So I saw
an opportunity to dive in and belike, hey, what's going on?
And I figured, you know,when you get to a certain age,
if somebody isn't engaged after seventy eightyears, they're probably not gonna get married.

(47:45):
That was that was my thought,you know. I mean, granted
we were all young. I mean, she's like twenty at the time,
but I thought, you know what, she doesn't have a ring on her
finger. I want to I wantto see, you know, see what's
going on with her. Yeah,so we reconnected. She was very,

(48:07):
very generous with my advances, wasnot playing playing into it. She was
respectful of the relationship that she wasin. But I wanted to make sure
I planted a seed there. Andso she was good. So when you
left Trinity for your adventures, shewas going out with this guy. And
then you had all your adventures andyou come back and she's still going out

(48:30):
with him. And they both hadand I guess they had graduated or what
was their situation. She had oneyear left. He wasn't going to school
up there. He was doing somethingelse. He was a journalist or something.
Really awesome, dude. But Ijust again, I just said,
you know what, if if they'renot married, then they might not be.
And you know, I just knewI had a connection with her at

(48:50):
one point before and that was prettyspecial. That's a different story for a
different day. But you know,but always respectful and never you know,
cheating, and you can around behindanybody's back or anything like that. But
I wanted her to know that Isaw her and I was I was interested.
And eventually that relationship fizzled out forher, and uh and I said,

(49:13):
this is my shot. I'm gonnashoot it, and the rest is
history from there. I mean,I guess maybe not, depending on how
this podcast goes. So you're sobasically it's kind of funny. Basically your
your two decisions were to to cometo California and then to leave California.
Those are my two. But Imean I was thinking to myself, I

(49:36):
mean, there's all these little decisionsor whatever, but I mean, if
I were to say, what werethe ones that were the most impactful that
like you could put they were tangibledecisions, like I knew exactly what I
was doing at the time. Itwasn't an offhanded thing, you know,
right, but truly it sent mycourse. Like if I were to say,
well, are you going to delineatethis, like I would be in

(49:59):
California had I not chosen to comeback. I mean, that's that's where
I'm thinking I'd be living in SanDiego or yeah. Way, But twenty
years later, I'm back where Istarted, and I'm I'm happier than I
possibly could be without you know,lots of lots of rough edges getting knocked
off, but yeah, you know, we're always growing, but I love
it here. Yeah, and you'reand your your boys are, how old?

(50:22):
Eight and ten? Okay, soeight and ten years? I mean,
no, it's awesome. It's awesome. So so since your boys aren't
quite at the age where you canwhere these stories make the kind of sense
that they're gonna make when they're infive ten years from now. Have you
run into anyone in your travels upin Bellingham that you're able to pass on

(50:46):
a little of your wisdom as they'retalking about doing this or that. Have
you been able to yeah, oryou know, I mean you look for
opportunities. I'm in I'm in sales. I go into people's homes. I
sell HVAC equipment. You know,talk about the dream job, right,

(51:07):
I'm drawing under people's houses. Mykids think I'm a troll for a living
because of the amount of time Ispend under people's houses. But but but
I do. I do get alot of unique opportunities to connect with people
and and share and listen. Andyou know, had I not had that
experience in California, I don't knowthat I would be able to be as

(51:30):
effective as I am with people andknowing both trying something new and having it
not work out, or having yourlife take you for a turn or a
twist, you know, being ableto even just just chew the fat about
various places and uh like that's that'ssome yeah, with some experience behind it.

(51:51):
Right? Did you do you everwalk into Do you ever walk into
Starbucks these days just to get aquick coffee and think to yourself, Wow,
really, I'll walk into it.I'll walk into a different coffee shop,
but that's a different But well,but hold on, I mean I
have nothing, there's no they're nota sponsor, so I don't care.
But what but uh, but didyou had a good experience? But is

(52:15):
it just too too familiar? No, it's when what happens is when you
take a good idea and you knowthe the Starbucks is a religion. It's
very much a religion, and thepeople who work there know it. They
love it. They're supported in theirhealth insurance, they're supported in you know,

(52:36):
their their their stock options, andYadA, YadA, you name it.
All of it's there. And that'swhy they're willing to work for fifteen
bucks an hour, is because theyfeel like they're supported within that community.
Well, it's a good idea untilyou stop having any level of morality to
guide these people's principles. And soI got so I'll probably too, Frank,

(53:02):
but I got disgusted by what washappening there and what I've seen happen
within that business over the last decadeor so of encouraging people to their detriment,
loving people to hell is kind ofthe way I would say it.
And I can't support that. Iyou know, when somebody else is going

(53:23):
to Starbucks and they want to picksomething up, that's fine. But I
will not willfully choose to go thereanymore, just because I morally can't justify
what I've seen, which is reallyas you as you have brought up,
it was such an impactful part ofmy life. For me to have to
do that just tells you the depthwith which I've been convicted. Sure,

(53:45):
what's going on there, Well,let's let's end. Let's kind of end
with two kind of interesting questions justlooking back, because this is a you
know, a journey that I hopepeople enjoy. I enjoyed hearing it again.
Like I said, like I've saidto other people, it's it's funny
when you think you know someone's story, but there's always a couple of details
that you didn't know. So that'sgood. But uh, okay, number

(54:09):
one, what let me think,hold on number one, let's just what's
the most what's the most common storythat you retell about that time to anyone
else. I don't just what's themost common anecdote or moment that comes up?

(54:34):
Oh, there's there's so many.And that I think that's why those
three months meant so much is becauseyou you really introduced me all into real
California, and you took me underyour wing and you always treated me with
respect, and I just I hada great time growing up. And you
know, in those three months,I grew up probably more than I have

(54:55):
in a lot of other places inmy life. But my favorite I still
I still get it is is uhSalisbury Hill, And uh what that story
is is you'll you'll probably remember itpretty well too. But in northern California,
for those who maybe haven't been therebefore, you have all these beautiful

(55:16):
rolling hills and uh this you know, off of Wine Country, and uh,
when the moon is going, itis right, it is right.
And for his hustle and bustle issouthern California is, or or the Bay
Area in general is there's a quietnessthat happens in the hills of northern California

(55:37):
and Sonoma and Napa. So you'reChrysler, which I've mistold this story a
thousand times by referring to it asan old Smobile or something like a Buick.
I think was the last bad oneI did. That Chrysler forgives you.
Yeah, okay, that beautiful vehiclewith the drop top. You used

(56:00):
to say, hey man, hopin, let's go for a ride.
And I was I loved it.I just I mean, what's better than
riding in a car with the topdown. But it was always sunny,
right, we're on our way tothe beach. We're always doing this and
that. Well, one night yousaid, hey, check this out.
We're driving back from somewhere I can'tremember. You put the top down.

(56:20):
It's probably nine ten o'clock something likethat, stars are out, moon's just
spotlight. And you turned up theheat a little bit. And the cool
thing about that car was that theheat it was a different kind of heat
than any other heat that I everfelt like. It was the warmth coming
off of that big engine. Andyou turned on the radio or maybe it

(56:40):
was a tape for all I knewat that point, but Peter Gabriel Salisbury
Hill comes on and we're cruising throughthe hills in the moonlight, and you
say, check this out, andyou just turned off the lights and we
were just cruising and it was likeit may as well have been bright as

(57:01):
day, but there was a momentthere that it was almost like, uh,
I don't even know how to describeit. It was it was a
heaven heaven on earth moment and withsomebody that I really cared about, and
a really special experience. And Ithink those things stick with you. And

(57:21):
so any chance that I get totell my kids about that, I don't
tell them about turning off the light, but I do tell them about my
moonlight. Yeah, yeah, no, I think, yeah, don't tell
them about shooting off bottle rockets fromthe convertible, because that's not a good
with with the with the wildfires.Now I look back and go, man,

(57:43):
did we really do that? Ohcrap, we did and one of
them, one of them one timewent up and then it came down on
the windshield and it was on thewindshield wiper. So I turned on the
wiper to get rid of it,and then it shot off. No,
that's a great I The funny thingis, I did I do remember that?

(58:07):
I don't. Yeah, I don'tremember where we were coming from,
but I I do remember that noteveryone is, you know, when you
say something like that, Hey I'mgonna turn off lights, you know,
not everyone is okay with that.And I do remember that it was seemed
like to be It was. Itwas kind of a strange crossroads moment.

(58:28):
I mean, for me, bothof my roommates were getting married, right,
so I didn't know what my lifeheld. So and then I'm faced
with, Okay, now I'm takingon a couple of college or post college
students roommates. You know, Idon't want to be the Funsarelli. You
know, I don't mind being Fonzarellifor a short time, but I want

(58:49):
to be Funzarelli forever. But butbut so it's just kind of funny that
the crossroads it kind of seemed likeI guess looking back now, I realize
it maybe both of us kind ofhad a little we're having kind of a
little crossroads of moment. Like Iwas wondering, you know, should I
be you know, might get leftbehind because I'm not getting married like my

(59:10):
friends or and for you, youwere, you know, you were coming
up north and and wondering where thisCalifornia dream was going to lead to.
So I think it was kind ofa strange. Yeah, just kind of
a strange crossroads moment, which wasI guess, as my dad would say,

(59:30):
you know, serendipitous that it madesense. I mean, I had
a good time with with the othertwo, you know, the Chat and
Greggs, but they were, youknow, they were they were different,
and I'm glad I recorded some ofthat time. I do drive by that
house sometimes and it is it's alittle bit sad because it's like the people

(59:52):
that are there now, they've gotlike, you know, twelve cars all
junked out in front, and like, you know, the lawns not mode.
You should feel okay that they can'tmow the lawn either. They have
three broken down lawn mowers in thefront yard exactly. Yeah. But the
tree, you know, I don'tknow, it just it just looks all
janky, and it just I'm like, man, you know, maybe maybe

(01:00:15):
we didn't do anything amazing, butwe you know, for that three or
whatever four years when I lived there, we you know, we cared for
that house like we owned it.And I look back at the film fest
the Super eight film festivals I hadon the wall of the that I would
project onto the wall of the house, and the barbecues and the you know,

(01:00:39):
the rat problem and almost blowing itup with putting the the the smoke
bomb that was supposed to go underground, but I threw it under the sink.
I mean that one was pretty awesome. And then finally I had to
suck it up and get a cat. I never wanted to get a cat.
Yeah, but this that girl atwork was always talking about this cat
and that cat, the cat.So finally I came to work one day

(01:01:01):
and I just said, Okay,look Shelley, check it out. I
just need a cat. I don'tcare what you got. And she's like,
give me five minutes all then andthat, and then she gave me
that address of Pedaluma and we pulledinto that cul de sac and this these
people just handed me a kitten.No no box, no box, no

(01:01:22):
name, no no food, justjust knock on a door. Oh oh,
you're Shelley's friend. Oh okay,here's the kitten. And and that
cat tore it up. Man,that cat took care of the rats and
the birds. I've got I've gotsome amazing rat stories. That would be

(01:01:44):
the second story that I tell themost. I don't think we have time
for it here podcast about the ratproblem, because yeah, that was epic.
I yeah, no, I forgotthat you were there during that time.
Yeah, well, I want toI want to honor my audience and
not and not get them burned outsaying yeah I like that guy's podcast,

(01:02:04):
but man, they just go onand on, so let me so,
yeah, do what What's what's justa final little nuggetive wisdom. I don't
want to sound too cliche, butwhat's what's a nuggetive wisdom that you would
tell to your former you would tellto your younger self during that whole time?

(01:02:30):
Yeah? You know, I Iguess I'm I'm lucky enough to be
able to look back and recognize thatit was, you know, a young
man's adventures for an old man toremember. And I think that that's that's
the thing is, is making thosememories and hanging on to him as best
you can, you know, Andit's important to stay stay connected even if

(01:02:53):
you've got that short window or thatshort period with people. God knows where
you're gon land someday and you mightend up on a podcast being able to
reminisce. And I feel amazing rightnow being able to go back and have
those those happy memories pop back up. So stay stay, stay in it
when you're there. Yeah, Yeah, that's good. Stay in it.

(01:03:15):
That's that's a good one. Yeah. I think in take time to it
sounds like a Ferris Bueller's cliche,but you really do. Gotta stop and
enjoy the and enjoy the view andtake time to smell the roses, because
man, when you're when you're atthat age, it's a never ending you're
you think you're never gonna get old, right, You're never gonna You're never

(01:03:38):
gonna go through you know, theseold man challenges or even forget old man,
but just middle age challenges. You'relike, what's middle age? You
know. That's the part of thereason I bought the convertible was because I
thought, I don't want a midlifecrisis. I'm gonna get the convertible now
and just stretch it out right anduh so, and then it's just,

(01:04:00):
you know, it's just funny,what what you I do think you got
to be true to yourself. Ithink sometimes we overthink this idea that we've
got to find ourselves or we've gotto you know. No, I think
as I look back in my life, I think that the best thing I
did, honestly was just be myself. And I didn't think that was rare.

(01:04:23):
But when I hear feedback from people, they're like, well, you
know, I met you at thisstage in my life, or I met
you at this stage and you treatedme like I was older or like I
was your equal. And I thought, well, I wasn't trying to do
that. All I was trying todo was be one hundred percent me and

(01:04:44):
that's it. Yeah. It doesn'tneed to be big. It doesn't need
to be this huge fanfare all that, right, I mean, the biggest
impact or from people like yourself,that you just you can't you can't shake
those things that you experienced or thethings that uh that keep coming back to
make you make you happy and bringbring you joy and peace. I mean

(01:05:06):
that's and years later you find thatthat that it still has meaning, maybe
even more of a meeting than ithad in the moment. I think I
texted you at one o'clock in themorning just to let you know that I
love you and I appreciated what youdid for me from twenty years ago.
And I don't do that to everybody, all of them, but that tells

(01:05:26):
you what what what kind of impactyou can make in a short period of
time. So I love you,man, I appreciate you. I really
do. Well. I love youtoo. I appreciate it, and I
I think it's awesome that I'm justglad that you're You're happy, you got
your your kids are great, yourwife is great. You've got a cool
little house and a little quiet uhyou know, Norman Rockwell kind of a

(01:05:46):
street I would call it. Andyou know it sounds like I need to
take a little, uh you know, my one of my next trip.
I need to put Bellingham on theshort list. Please do yeah, talking
about it. We want to seeyour fade, all right, Jeff,
Hey, I really appreciate it.I hope the audience did. I If

(01:06:09):
anyone's listening you you think you'd liketo be on a future episode, you
can email al than five This thenumber five at spreaker dot com. If
that's too difficult, just go toalden almost dot com and go to the
contact and find me somewhere. Ifyou think you'd like to be on a
future episode. We'll see where thispodcast goes. But for the time being,

(01:06:29):
I think it's important to to askeach other good questions and to take
the time to listen. So loveyou, brother, Stay cool, all
right, peace out. You talkto me when you're now. Now you'll

(01:07:08):
get talk to me. So mistisexpress all away. I'm i gonna be

(01:07:29):
all that Hall you mean all that