September 22, 2025 • 8 mins
This show is about stopping patterns! Alottofhelp.com James is for hire!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
So I had a guest who's not showing up, so
I sent me an episode for the next week. So
I decided, you know, I'm gonna make an episode, so
I'll happen to the guests.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I have no idea. They came to me and they
just peed it up.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
So I want to talk to you about something that
I'm learning and I'm actively working on, and that is patterns.
When you're fifty plus, you live some life, you have
some experiences, you know, and it's it's funny because you
start falling in the patterns. Well, hopefully the ones that
(00:40):
are self destructive, the ones that do never work, the
ones that get on your nerves, hopefully you're learning from them.
But it's also this other weird thing that happens. You
get more set in your ways to get older because
you learn after a while, right that well, anything life happens,
I survive it, and I know more than I used
to know. And now I've lived this long, or do
(01:01):
whatever I want. You're fully of your adults. Many folks
have lost parents and grandparents and they're they're patriarch to
their family. So we start getting set in our ways
on one area. But I always say the education never stops,
so so I'm trying to really kind of balance that
(01:22):
out and share that with you guys. I'm pretty sure
maybe you guys do the same thing. There are patterns
that just naturally come up. So I've done them over
and over again with the same results, which are never good.
And I'm really and I'm so prouds of that I'm
recognizing them. I'm actually doing more than just recognizing. You
can recognize you go, yeah, I do this all the time,
(01:43):
but it's proof is in the pudding. Are you taking action?
That's what I'm doing. So I actually are taking action,
and for me it's been great. Like for example, I'm
doing these walks every day and getting out the house.
I wish I could do it today, but I got
to be home by certain time, so I don't think
of we would do it today, but I think I
(02:03):
could do it tomorrow. I'm talking at my schedule. I'm
taking on. I'm taking at the end. I can't do
it tomorrow either. No, I'm like, I got my schedule.
But anyways, it's it's uh, it's well, I have two
interviews tomorrow, okay. But I'm learning to just defy overcome
(02:26):
my old feelings that pop up when something familiar happens.
I noticed this in my like my dating life, which
is really non existent. But I'm out there on the
apps and stuff, and I'm learning there are certain types
of people that I attract. Apparently I don't know why
I attract him. My dad's look deeper into that, but
(02:46):
I'm realizing I attract him. It's easy, breezy, but now
I'm learning. Nope, James, it's a trap. It's the same.
It's a it's the same person but a different person
that makes any sense. So it's not gonna work out.
I need to change my patterns. I need to change
(03:07):
who I am dating because what has not where I've
been dating this type for a long time. It's not working.
So I'm proud of myself to go. You know, I
don't care they're giving me attention. I don't care if
they're coming, you know, coming to me. Nope, James, it's
not good. It's hard to turn away attention right when
you're like, you don't have anything. I'm sitting by myself,
I'm home alone some all time, and I'm like, oh
(03:28):
my god. I mean, in some cases, some become friends
because you're like I recognize it's not I'm following the
same pattern.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
You become friends. That happens. Uh.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
In some cases you gotta just nope, that's it. Cut
it off. So I'm proud of that. Same with your jobs.
You have to have the same job stuff happening over
and over again, and you fight stuff in the same positions,
and you're like, I don't know, why does happening to me? Yeah,
I was going, go, oh, it is crazy, and it's like,
(04:02):
but it's you. It's hard to say it's you. It's
it's so easy to go it's everybody else, it's so
and so, it's this person, it's that, it's the universe,
it's life, it's astrology, it's whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
It's so easy to say that.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And when you get older, you're like, okay, okay, but
I when you get older, you get someone must get
more blunter because you blunt with yourself and go, James,
stop it.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
That is not good. Stop it.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
You have to get out of this job, or you
have to get out of the situation, or you have
to fire that client, or you have to get out
of this relationship. You have to get out of It's
up to me. It's up to me. You know, I
I you know expectations. You have to drop those two
the same things that have a pattern. Expectation. Well, if
(04:56):
I do this and everybody's gonna do this back and
they don't, they don't me today, I've let go. The
person didn't show up for whatever reason. You know, at first,
I'm like, they're wasting my time. You know, I showed up,
I sat side out my whole life for this interview,
and you don't think my shit's important enough to do it.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, I mean it may not.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Maybe it may not be it it maybe something totally
happened and I'll let me know later. I've had pergencies
happening things after my life all of a sudden, already
double booked, which I'm gone for. It ended up doing
with the other person. I know, a friend of mine
talked to you in like five months. I was getting
at to them too. Well, we finally connected last night.
It's a pattern I get upset. I had to retract
(05:35):
all my upsetness because they when they filled me almost
go on their lives.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I can totally relate.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I was like, oh, I not get it, disregard all
shade I had towards you.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I totally get it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So I said, you, these patterns I just are there,
and it's one thing to acknowledge them, which is still good.
I acknowledge them, but you have to finally to change
it and now fall down the same path. I don't
want the same mistakes. I don't want the same outcomes.
I don't have the same feelings.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I know you don't either. You don't want them. You
don't want them. Also you don't want them. It's a
lot changing habits. It's really hard, and I'm doing that
also with my food intake and when I'm eating and
stuff like that. It's like sugar is hard. Sugar is
hard to drop. Coffee, which I'm not getting rid of it.
(06:30):
It's hard to drop. I get rid of it, so
I'm not getting rid of it. But ice cream and stuff,
I've cut that down a lot. I've had donut in
two months, and I'm seeing that. But see the actions
that I'm taking, I'm feeling and seeing the difference. I
do feel a little better. But it's just hard. It's
so hard. It's so hard. So changing is not easy.
(06:52):
But you have to like recognize patterns and then make
actual changes. They'll be better for you where they will
being your head against the wall, the proproverbial wall is
just going to make you tired.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
That's wrong. I'll be good. So I'm trying my best,
my best to not do that anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
And that's actually I said. It's an older thing, just
getting older. I'm like, when you're young, you're learning stuff
and you bump your head a few times. But now
it's like, I should know better. When you get to fifty,
you should know better about basic stuff. But education never
stops either, so I'm still learning stuff as we go along,
So I like that. Also, that's all I want to say.
I guess, like I said, I wasn't planning on talking
(07:37):
about this today, but the person I had coming on,
I'm gonna help them. They overcame some really strong things
and so hopefully we can reschedule them working out. But
they had some really strong they overcame, and they changed
some of their patterns in life and for the better,
(07:58):
and they're totally thriving now. So we like to talk
to this person seeing while we do it and have
a good time. It was fifty plus all over placed.
Je Jamie is everywhere, I'm James. I'm gin to talk
to you next time.
So I had a guest who's not showing up, so
I sent me an episode for the next week. So
I decided, you know, I'm gonna make an episode, so
I'll happen to the guests.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
I have no idea. They came to me and they
just peed it up.
Speaker 1 (00:19):
So I want to talk to you about something that
I'm learning and I'm actively working on, and that is patterns.
When you're fifty plus, you live some life, you have
some experiences, you know, and it's it's funny because you
start falling in the patterns. Well, hopefully the ones that
(00:40):
are self destructive, the ones that do never work, the
ones that get on your nerves, hopefully you're learning from them.
But it's also this other weird thing that happens. You
get more set in your ways to get older because
you learn after a while, right that well, anything life happens,
I survive it, and I know more than I used
to know. And now I've lived this long, or do
(01:01):
whatever I want. You're fully of your adults. Many folks
have lost parents and grandparents and they're they're patriarch to
their family. So we start getting set in our ways
on one area. But I always say the education never stops,
so so I'm trying to really kind of balance that
(01:22):
out and share that with you guys. I'm pretty sure
maybe you guys do the same thing. There are patterns
that just naturally come up. So I've done them over
and over again with the same results, which are never good.
And I'm really and I'm so prouds of that I'm
recognizing them. I'm actually doing more than just recognizing. You
can recognize you go, yeah, I do this all the time,
(01:43):
but it's proof is in the pudding. Are you taking action?
That's what I'm doing. So I actually are taking action,
and for me it's been great. Like for example, I'm
doing these walks every day and getting out the house.
I wish I could do it today, but I got
to be home by certain time, so I don't think
of we would do it today, but I think I
(02:03):
could do it tomorrow. I'm talking at my schedule. I'm
taking on. I'm taking at the end. I can't do
it tomorrow either. No, I'm like, I got my schedule.
But anyways, it's it's uh, it's well, I have two
interviews tomorrow, okay. But I'm learning to just defy overcome
(02:26):
my old feelings that pop up when something familiar happens.
I noticed this in my like my dating life, which
is really non existent. But I'm out there on the
apps and stuff, and I'm learning there are certain types
of people that I attract. Apparently I don't know why
I attract him. My dad's look deeper into that, but
(02:46):
I'm realizing I attract him. It's easy, breezy, but now
I'm learning. Nope, James, it's a trap. It's the same.
It's a it's the same person but a different person
that makes any sense. So it's not gonna work out.
I need to change my patterns. I need to change
(03:07):
who I am dating because what has not where I've
been dating this type for a long time. It's not working.
So I'm proud of myself to go. You know, I
don't care they're giving me attention. I don't care if
they're coming, you know, coming to me. Nope, James, it's
not good. It's hard to turn away attention right when
you're like, you don't have anything. I'm sitting by myself,
I'm home alone some all time, and I'm like, oh
(03:28):
my god. I mean, in some cases, some become friends
because you're like I recognize it's not I'm following the
same pattern.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
You become friends. That happens. Uh.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
In some cases you gotta just nope, that's it. Cut
it off. So I'm proud of that. Same with your jobs.
You have to have the same job stuff happening over
and over again, and you fight stuff in the same positions,
and you're like, I don't know, why does happening to me? Yeah,
I was going, go, oh, it is crazy, and it's like,
(04:02):
but it's you. It's hard to say it's you. It's
it's so easy to go it's everybody else, it's so
and so, it's this person, it's that, it's the universe,
it's life, it's astrology, it's whatever.
Speaker 2 (04:15):
It's so easy to say that.
Speaker 1 (04:16):
And when you get older, you're like, okay, okay, but
I when you get older, you get someone must get
more blunter because you blunt with yourself and go, James,
stop it.
Speaker 2 (04:32):
That is not good. Stop it.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
You have to get out of this job, or you
have to get out of the situation, or you have
to fire that client, or you have to get out
of this relationship. You have to get out of It's
up to me. It's up to me. You know, I
I you know expectations. You have to drop those two
the same things that have a pattern. Expectation. Well, if
(04:56):
I do this and everybody's gonna do this back and
they don't, they don't me today, I've let go. The
person didn't show up for whatever reason. You know, at first,
I'm like, they're wasting my time. You know, I showed up,
I sat side out my whole life for this interview,
and you don't think my shit's important enough to do it.
Speaker 2 (05:13):
Well, I mean it may not.
Speaker 1 (05:14):
Maybe it may not be it it maybe something totally
happened and I'll let me know later. I've had pergencies
happening things after my life all of a sudden, already
double booked, which I'm gone for. It ended up doing
with the other person. I know, a friend of mine
talked to you in like five months. I was getting
at to them too. Well, we finally connected last night.
It's a pattern I get upset. I had to retract
(05:35):
all my upsetness because they when they filled me almost
go on their lives.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I can totally relate.
Speaker 1 (05:40):
I was like, oh, I not get it, disregard all
shade I had towards you.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
I totally get it.
Speaker 1 (05:46):
So I said, you, these patterns I just are there,
and it's one thing to acknowledge them, which is still good.
I acknowledge them, but you have to finally to change
it and now fall down the same path. I don't
want the same mistakes. I don't want the same outcomes.
I don't have the same feelings.
Speaker 2 (06:04):
I don't.
Speaker 1 (06:05):
I know you don't either. You don't want them. You
don't want them. Also you don't want them. It's a
lot changing habits. It's really hard, and I'm doing that
also with my food intake and when I'm eating and
stuff like that. It's like sugar is hard. Sugar is
hard to drop. Coffee, which I'm not getting rid of it.
(06:30):
It's hard to drop. I get rid of it, so
I'm not getting rid of it. But ice cream and stuff,
I've cut that down a lot. I've had donut in
two months, and I'm seeing that. But see the actions
that I'm taking, I'm feeling and seeing the difference. I
do feel a little better. But it's just hard. It's
so hard. It's so hard. So changing is not easy.
(06:52):
But you have to like recognize patterns and then make
actual changes. They'll be better for you where they will
being your head against the wall, the proproverbial wall is
just going to make you tired.
Speaker 2 (07:07):
That's wrong. I'll be good. So I'm trying my best,
my best to not do that anymore.
Speaker 1 (07:15):
And that's actually I said. It's an older thing, just
getting older. I'm like, when you're young, you're learning stuff
and you bump your head a few times. But now
it's like, I should know better. When you get to fifty,
you should know better about basic stuff. But education never
stops either, so I'm still learning stuff as we go along,
So I like that. Also, that's all I want to say.
I guess, like I said, I wasn't planning on talking
(07:37):
about this today, but the person I had coming on,
I'm gonna help them. They overcame some really strong things
and so hopefully we can reschedule them working out. But
they had some really strong they overcame, and they changed
some of their patterns in life and for the better,
(07:58):
and they're totally thriving now. So we like to talk
to this person seeing while we do it and have
a good time. It was fifty plus all over placed.
Je Jamie is everywhere, I'm James. I'm gin to talk
to you next time.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by Audiochuck Media Company.
NFL Daily with Gregg Rosenthal
Gregg Rosenthal and a rotating crew of elite NFL Media co-hosts, including Patrick Claybon, Colleen Wolfe, Steve Wyche, Nick Shook and Jourdan Rodrigue of The Athletic get you caught up daily on all the NFL news and analysis you need to be smarter and funnier than your friends.