Debunking Your No & The Call For Change

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello there, and welcome to another episode of A Girl Willing.
It is your host, Nicole McKenna, and I'm so thrilled
that you are tuning in and spending some time with me.
It is truly an honor to share some future time
with you, so thank you for being here. I'm actually
currently in my car recording this. Dawson's in a dance

(00:23):
class and I'm parked outside the dance studio to record
because that is the real and true life of being
an entrepreneur, working for yourself and being a single mom.
You gotta do what you gotta do. And is this
my ideal podcast studio situation? No, but does it make

(00:46):
sense for me in this moment. Yes. So if we
want something to transform, if we want that the vision
of how we want something to look. You know, when
I think of like my ideal podcast studio, I see,
you know, a chair for me and a chair for
my guests, because in twenty twenty five, guests are becoming

(01:10):
a part of A Girl Willing, which is very exciting.
I see like big studio lights, I see video and audio.
I see, oh, like just a gorgeous set. And is
that what I have available to me right? Now no,
But how wild is it that we as people can

(01:33):
see this clear vision because we're taught and we know
the absolute power in that to be really clear on
these fully transformed parts of our lives, like the ideal relationship,
get really clear on it, give yourself all the information,
feel into it, like we know how to do that.
That is no mystery. We know the power of that.

(01:54):
But what happens is we get hooked on this fully
transformed vision that the things that we can actually do
to create conscious steps and movement towards that and elevation
and practice and examples for ourselves, we deny ourselves of
that because it doesn't match the fully transformed thing. And

(02:17):
So if I woke up this morning and went, oh,
my podcast studio isn't here, that's not my set. I'm
not going to record today, I'm not going to share,
I'm not gonna to tend to a girl willing, I'm
not going to show up in that space. How the
fuck on earth am I going to fully transform it?
If I can't even do what works for me right now,

(02:40):
how am I gonna do what works for me? Then? So,
if I can't feed into this podcast and this vision
and this space into you guys, how am I gonna
transform it? How am I gonna show up for it? Then,
So if tomorrow that podcast studio became available to me,
and I had one full day of recording and time

(03:03):
and space in this set, and it just made sense.
I have no practice, I have no example for myself
of how to show up for my podcast. I'd have
nothing developed or cultivated to actually show up for the
fully transformed thing. And so yes, this does not match
my fully transformed experience. But what makes sense for me

(03:27):
right now was to utilize the time that Dawson is
in her dance class, which means I'm in my car,
which means I've brought my mic into my car and
I've hooked it up. I've done what I've needed to do,
and I'm going to record here because I'm giving myself
the example. I'm showing myself it's possible to show up

(03:48):
for my podcast this thing that has uh sovereign conscious energy?
Does that makes sense? So, like I've been having so
many conversations with people, especially around this Pluto shift. So
Pluto just moved into the sign of Aquarius on the

(04:08):
nineteenth of November, and here it will be for nineteen years,
and in these nineteen years, the call from Pluto is
for everybody to step into their power as a in
a service oriented way to liberate society and their communities

(04:33):
and their people. And the Aquarius goddess does this through
pouring her knowledge onto the villages. And these conversations have
been coming up. I've been doing lots of astrology readings
and inside of per our live call was talking about
this and we did little little practice around it. And

(04:57):
the one thing that keeps coming up for people is
like the knowing that they have an offering, the knowing
that they are being called into their service more than
ever before. Like right now, people are like, oh no,
it's time, Like I can feel it. It's there, it's
communicating to me. It's this very conscious energy. But what
I've also noticed this common denominator is that for one,

(05:21):
they're not stepping into it or claiming it. And the
second thing is that they're viewing the fully transformed part
of it. And of course we can, we can. You know,
they're getting a lot of insights, Like it's a lot
of a lot of very like visual I can feel it,

(05:43):
like they're doing all these things like quote unquote right
like they're tapping into it, they're they're communicating with it.
But when it shows up in real life, practical right
now in the three D, which is essentially like ah,
it's working, Like they're tending to this like five D
X experience this five D very conscious in the quantum field,

(06:03):
they're developing this conscious energy. It's there, it's communicating with them.
Holy shit, it's happening. And then when it presents in
the three D physical world waiting for you to practice
with it and touch it and tend to it and
build it and get curious about it and play with
it and give yourself examples on how you work with

(06:26):
it and get to know it, nothing's happening. And then
they're viewing this thing that's so far in the future,
this five D thing, and they're like, Okay, why am
I not? Why like how do I get there? Why
am I not there? Am I not good enough to
get that? And then we snap into this place of
lack and we're not actually setting any examples. We're not

(06:49):
practicing with it, we're not playing with it, we're not
changing anything. So it becomes this really interesting game that
happens when all of a sudden. Now, what's being communicated
to this fully functioning, beautiful conscious energy in the quantum realm.

(07:10):
We're just communicating lack to it, and so we'll only
keep discovering ways that we feel of lack, and so
it can perpetuate these stories of like, well, I'm not
qualified enough, I'm not smart enough, i don't know enough,
I'm not ready, I don't have the time, i don't
have the space, I don't whatever. The excuse of lack

(07:33):
that is felt and experienced from the past start to
show up, and so it's just what can you do
now that would make sense for you now to begin
to change yourself to match this conscious energy of the

(08:02):
thing that you can view in a transformed way. What
can you change now to practice with it, to play
with it. Something has to change within you in order
to arrive there at the fully transformed place. So, for example,

(08:24):
the old Nicole, the nicole who was lacking time, lacking resources,
lacking the ability to show up as a good mom
and as a good business woman, like those things were
really hard for me, the old Nicole, it was really
hard for her to be both. I felt like I

(08:44):
had to trade one for the other. And when I
started to change the way I viewed that, and change
my habits around that, and change my capacity around that.
I started to receive the ability to be both a
good mom and a good entrepreneur and businesswoman. And so

(09:10):
the old Nicole thing today, I would have woken up
and gone, Okay, I need to record a podcast. I
have to record for per I have to clean the house.
I'm in ceremony for all day tomorrow from ten to seven,
and I've got to set up for ceremony. I've got
a prep for ceremony. I've got to get myself ready.
I've got to get Dawson ready. I have to clean

(09:32):
up from ceremony. I've got to clear out from ceremony.
That's all day tomorrow. So today, like I could have,
you know, I'm waking up today with this this knowing
that all of these things are happening. Dawson has danced,
I've got all these things to do, and I need
to record for a girl willing and so old Nicole
would have been completely overwhelmed by all these things. I

(09:55):
would have slept in for one, because I would have
been in like this functional freeze state where it was like, oh,
I actually can't. I can't do it. I would have
started to panic. I would have, you know, slept in
and then I would scroll on my phone and then
I would panic, and then I'd be stressed, and then
I wouldn't have recorded for Per and or for a

(10:18):
Girl Willing. I just would have like scrapped the podcast.
I wouldn't have recorded for PER. That would have been
I would have had to have emailed all the subscribers
and say, hey, sorry, there's no uploads this week. I
would have completely revolved around this lacking that I had

(10:38):
to meet myself. And so over time, I've opened the
capacity and my being. I've tended more to my natural
cycles that are happening so that I can support myself
at all points of my season, so that when I
arrive here in these busy days and these really full days,
I can actually meet myself. Well. So I've I've been

(11:01):
changing the way that I tend to myself. I've been
changing the way that I view myself so that when
this nicle this here now Nicole woke up this morning,
I already had all my videos prep for what I
was gonna film. I charged my mic, I had my
setups made. I already had the house cleaned, eyes started

(11:25):
to pack what I needed for ceremony. I prepped my
client tonight, I've prepped my ceremony playlists for tomorrow. I've
had Dawson's dance stuff ready. And that is not because
I am non human anymore. Because absolutely I am is

(11:50):
their fear and doubt and these things that creep in obviously,
and am I a highly well oiled machine. None of
it's coming from a systematic place at all. It's coming
from ease and fullness for the first time in my life,
for the first fucking time in my life. This fullness
that I have in my life is not coming from

(12:11):
like performing and systems and burnout and not actually being
able to sustain it. It's actually just fullness. And that's
because I've been changing the way that I showed up.
Have been showing up for myself, that's the only difference.

(12:32):
And I've been changing the way I show up for
myself in my body. I've been really for the last
year resolving a ton of incomplete things in my body.
I have been sematically working with myself with practitioners. I've
been investing in my care so much more than ever.

(12:56):
I've tended to myself energetically differently than I ever have
in my life. I've really created a structure. I've been
tending to myself through my cycle so much better. I
actually plan my life around my cycle and my sleep schedule,
what time I wake up, what things I eat, what

(13:17):
I do for movement, what work I'm doing. So when
you hear me say that these parts of me are thriving,
this this here, now me can actually show up for
these things and feel full and it not feels stressful,
and not feel overwhelmed, and sure parts of me will

(13:37):
be showing up with those feelings, because that's the old pattern,
that's the old no goal, She's gonna show up. It's
not because I am like, oh I've ascended beyond humanness.
I'm still so fucking human, but I just have a
different level of self tending. I've changed the part of

(14:00):
me that I needed to change to evolve. That's simply
what it is. I changed the part of me that
needed to evolve to get me here because I had
clear visions of a fully of a fully transformed Nicole,
and I still have visions of her, And instead of

(14:20):
going being stuck in the lack spiral, I started to
actually make changes that I needed to make in order
to become her. And that's just simply what it is,
and that is why I'm creating these things like PER.
I created PER so that people had ways to tend

(14:47):
to themselves differently and that there was variety on how
they showed up for themselves, that they I have practices
in this online platform that I I feel like is
such a good fucking deal for two live calls a
month for a resource library that evolves for these practices,

(15:11):
so that these practices create change. And that's what it is.
It's that we can begin to make change. These containers
that I'm making. I have two in twenty twenty five,
So just in a couple months, I have the nest
and I have rich Girl Realm, and I make these

(15:34):
things because I know what can be changed. And we
don't change because we're bad and we're not worthy now
and all of those things we are. We just change
the way that we view that we come worthy, We come,
we come perfect, actually we come fully and completely like

(15:55):
this blank slate, and we accumulate a lot of beliefs
in programming and thinking that ends up distorting our wholeness.
So these things that I'm creating allow us to make change,

(16:18):
to come back to the wholeness, to remember the wholeness,
to change these things that get in the way of
our wholeness and create these these senses of lack within ourselves.
So here I am in the car, you guys. And

(16:41):
it was so neat to reflect on that, actually, because
a part of like the fully transformed states of things
is that we have to reflect. Like, you know, if
we think about a billionaire who came from nothing and
their journey to becoming a billionaire, Like, once they're a billionaire,

(17:03):
once they're in that fully transformed thing, they're going to
be doing a lot of reflecting, don't you think. I
feel like a huge part of my evolution is looking
back and going whoa, whoa, look at how far I've come.
So these reflecting moments are really important. And so congrats
to the here now me for feeling the fullness of

(17:27):
this day and showing up in a way that an
evolved nicole would so neat to Yeah, so neat to
reflect on that. I have a big smile on my face.
That's really cool. One of the things I actually wanted

(17:52):
to talk about today was debunking our yes is our
knows it. And it actually ties into this conversation that
I was just having, was we make choices based off

(18:14):
of our previous experiences and what would keep our systems
in a familiar place, because if the body knows something,
then it can predict something. So if our bodies are
in a familiar emotion or environment or something that feels familiar,

(18:38):
even if it's harmful, it would rather be there because
at least it can predict what's going to come or
what's going to happen. There's a level of prediction available.
So this the body really likes that, and so we
stay in these patterns. This is why we stay in patterns,

(18:58):
and so much of it is just predictability. The body
can predict it, the nervous system can predict it. There's
a knowing of what's going to happen. We stay in
the same emotions, we stay in the same environment, circumstances,
et cetera, et cetera. So this change that I've been
talking about is the thing that makes it all different.
It's the thing that changes it. And so when we

(19:21):
are looking for change, there's this moment that people have
where they're like, Okay, I want the change. I want
to be better, I want to be different, I want
to grow, I want to evolve, I want to have
a more pleasant experience, I want to expand this thing,
whatever it might be. They become a magnant for things

(19:43):
to help them do that. They've put out this really
clear intention. There's usually an emotional component involved that feels
like maybe free or excited, or they're sick of their
own shit, whatever it is. There's this moment that is created,
and so the environment will go, Okay, yeah, you're ready. Sure,
I'm gonna put this here and see if you grab it.

(20:04):
And I'm gonna put this here and see if you
grab it, and are you actually wanting to change? Are
you not wanting to change? And so this is where
we have choice. This is where we have to choose
and become very active in our change. But what happens
is our body's like, oh, no, that would be different.

(20:26):
So we don't like that. We can't predict from that place,
so no thanks, and we actually don't say yes to
the things that would actually help us change. So in
the spiritual community, a really big part of the language
is like if it feels like a yes, does it

(20:49):
feel like a yes, tune into it and like is
this a yes? What can be really hard about that?
And I love this. This is like connecting to like
what's coming up for you? Does it feel like yes?
Does it feel like you know? Is this aligned for you?
Is this a part of your path? Yes? Or no?
Love that. But what I find to be really challenging
is that oftentimes our body goes hmmm, nope, not predictable.

(21:14):
I wouldn't know what would happen. So as a entrepreneur
in an entrepreneurial space where I see tons of other
women offering incredible programs and of course me offering incredible programs,
people see this marketing of like whatever it is, whatever
the feature is, what is the you know, what is

(21:37):
being projected on the loudspeaker. So let's say, for rich girl, realm,
like it's this abundance, it's this richness, it's this like,
oh delicious way of living, somatically attuned, resolving on you know,
the wounding, unfreezing, unthawing, like all of these wonderful things.

(22:00):
But the body hears this, and of course there has
to be this this emotional reaction that happens if someone's
interested it's like, oh, yeah, I want to be rich,
I want to be wealthy, I want to be abundant,
want I want to resolve old patterning. I want that,
I want this, I want that. And what happens is
that the body goes no, it's not predictable. It wouldn't

(22:24):
be safe if we were abundant, it wouldn't be safe
if we had that. I don't know what that would
be like. And then it feels like a no. So
we get caught up in this is this yes? Is
this a no? And because our body wants to stay
where it is so it can predict we have to

(22:44):
be able to discern if we're willing to make a
change with the energetics or with the components of the
things that we're choosing. So, if something piques interest, if
there's value in this thing, can you be willing to

(23:05):
say yes and change the way that you show up
in your life. It's just are you willing to change
through this course or are you willing to change through
this event or are you willing to change through this thing,
whatever it might be, and actually debunk the yes and
no system that you might have and use it as curiosity.

(23:27):
And if you're coming up with a no, or if
you're coming up with a yes, are you willing to
take it a step further and go, Okay, what's actually
wanting to be known here? What actually wants to be known?
What's on the other side of this no, what's on
the other side of this yes? What actually wants to
be known? Can I go deeper? Can you explore your

(23:48):
yes and no system a little bit more and not
rely on this kneed your reaction of the body that's
gonna say no, Oh my god, Like if I went
through my dating life like that, I'd never get out
of the fucking house because my body's like, oh no,
we can't predict what's going to happen and if you
go on a date, So no, we've got to be

(24:09):
willing to say, am I willing to change using this
as an experience to change, as a catalyst to change,
as an opportunity to change, as a container to change
whatever it is. Am I willing to use this as
a vessel for change and sit with your guests and

(24:30):
nose for a little bit more and just go, Okay,
what's actually wanting to be known here? What's on the
other side of this Dawson's dance class is going to
be ending very soon. Just as a warning, I'm going
I'm gonna talk a little bit more, but just so
you know, if you hear children and my sweet child
getting in the car, that is why. But yeah, just

(24:54):
be willing to debunk your guess and no system a
little bit and maybe see if you can expand. And
there's a lot of value in that. I've had some
of my most profound experiences and evolution and change and
fullness because I debunked my no and the things that

(25:17):
felt like a no, I had to challenge a little
bit and maybe they really truly were a no, and
me just spending a little bit more time with it
could really like verify that I could really feel confident
that that thing was a no. But some things I
actually got more information out of and even if it
remained to know, at least I got more information out

(25:38):
of it. And some of those nos ended up actually
being a yes. So it doesn't mean that we override
our nose. That's not it at all. And it does
not mean that we force a yes out of a no.
It just means that we're willing to challenge it. We're
willing to see why the no is there? What is it?

(25:58):
Are we creating a sense of like validity with it?
Are we really clear that that's a no? Or are
we able to see what's on the other side and
find out what's really there? And are we willing in
our guesses to use that as a vessel for change.

(26:18):
You know, we don't sign up for something and go
this is going to change me. We sign up for
something because we are going to change ourselves through that
that it is a container. Why I call things a
container because it is a container we have to step
in and we have to be willing to make change

(26:39):
through that. It's an opportunity for change. So what is
worthy of your experience of change? What is it that
you want to invest in? What are the things that
are are your guesses? And is that a match for
the parts of you that want to change? Things were

(27:00):
so hard for me to say yes to because it
opened up this part of me that was like, oh,
then I'm not a good mom. If I'm like, oh
my god, if I have to seek help on this,
or I have if I have to change my view
on this, if I have to challenge these things on parenting,
then it might expose a part of me that feels

(27:21):
really fucking bad. And I thank god I did it.
Think God, I challenged myself. Thank God I've changed as
a parent. Think God, I can look back and go, WHOA,
I don't like that. I'm not comfortable if this was
the pattern I continued moving forward as a mom. Thank
God I was willing to debunk my nose. Thank god

(27:44):
I was willing to do that grimy work as a mom,
and thank God that I'm going to continue to do that.
So that's it, you guys. This is the Car Podcast today,

(28:04):
and it's short and sweet and it fits right inside
the space that Dawson's valet class offered, and yeah, thank
you for being here. I'm passionately, I'm passionately calling everybody

(28:31):
forward that's listening to this to debunk the parts of
them that are operating from patterns, to tend to themselves
differently so that they can change the parts of them

(28:52):
and the experiences in the way that they show up
for themselves a more full experience. That's my that's my
passionate call for you all is like, can you take
some of these messages and begin to apply them? And

(29:12):
I'm not passionate because I'm like just passionate, Lucy Goosey.
I'm passionate because i cannot believe my life is how
my life is and how I feel because I've been
so far in the gutter. In the Ninja Turtles episode

(29:34):
of Workaholics, I reference that episode so much, you guys,
I love that episode. I'm in the Seuwwige system. I've
been there. Old Nicole lived there, and I'm I still
know that. I still know how to go in there.
I still know how to take the grade off and
cut my little eye holes out of my Ninja Turtle headband.

(29:57):
I still know because old Nicole, she wrote the map.
I still know how to get there. And I'm still
a human. I'm still gonna have human experiences. But this
fullness that I have access to, holy shit. So I'm
passionately calling everybody forward into that fullness, into their fullness

(30:20):
that you came here as a baby with. You're not
developing it for the first time, you're remembering it, and
you're changing the things that have gotten in the way
of you having that. It's so fucking possible. We came
with the fullness, the wholeness. So I'm passionate because you

(30:47):
deserve it, and that's it, and I deserve it, and
I love you all, thank you for being here, and
we will see each other very soon