Planet Orange & The River Of Time

I missed you. In this episode I give you an eyes closed braindump on whats been going on in my world.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Welcome to a Girl Willing. Iam your host, Nicole McKenna. I
don't even know what episode it is. It's already December and I have not
satin down and brain dumped and recordedfor quite some time. So I'm happy
to be sitting here. I feellike September and October just didn't happen,

(00:22):
and then all of a sudden,we were in November, and then now
we're here, and every milestone andevery time there's a new week or a
new month or a new holiday,it's just this like, oh my gosh,
I can't believe we're here, andwe're just like flowing so quickly down
the stream of time that we don'tnotice it until we're like, oh,

(00:45):
that was my stop, and likethat, we just kept flowing down the
river. But I have mentioned onhere before that November is a really hard
a month for me physically mostly,which is really interesting. So every November
I seem to get really physically sick. It's an emotional month. It's just

(01:07):
it kind of brings me to myknees every November. And I thought that
leading up to it, I wasgoing to kind of bypass it because I
was feeling pretty good. Leading upto it, and I feel like in
years previous the decline started happening beforeNovember hit, So I thought, I'm

(01:30):
going to speed right past it.I'll be totally good. And I was
wrong, so I got wiped out. The first bit of November was I
don't realize. I don't think howlike full I am or how like much

(02:00):
consumed, whether it be like emotionsor just life coming at you from all
angles, until you know, youkind of get like burnt out or wiped
out, and then you're like,oh, wow, yeah, I guess
that was a lot, or Iguess I was wow. And before anyone
thinks that you have to have allthese like extra curricular parts of life show

(02:21):
up, being just a human isso overly the top too much already,
and then we have these extra thingsthat happen, like you know, when
you have difficult periods of time,or there's something distressing distressing going on,
or there's a change or a lossor whatever it is, that those are

(02:42):
the extra sort of like seasonings oflife. So without that, it's already
hard to be a human. Havinga physical body is hard. Taking care
of our physical body is a lotof work. The emotional body, whether
things are just kind of plain andeven keel. It's still life is still
happening. We're still hearing about stuff, We're still consumed with news and information.

(03:08):
Having a brain is hard. Ohmy god. This is a conversation
that I had with Dawson last night. She's having these sort of like nightmarish
thoughts before bed, and you know, we're talking about the brain, and
so being just a human is hard. And then we add these sort of

(03:31):
that the spices of life into that. And so the beginning of November,
I just felt like I was gettinga lot of spices sprinkled in my life
and nothing that is not fine andmanageable. But sometimes I think, I

(03:52):
know I do this, and Ifeel like a lot of people do this,
is that they all of a suddenare like, holy, I am
way too full of spices now,Like I am like I am burning up
because I got so much cayenne pepperput into me and I didn't know,
like I'm almost sometimes unaware of mythreshold until it's like very much past my

(04:15):
threshold and I'm like trying to crawlmy way out of the pit that I've
fallen in, which I know ishow so many people feel they don't they
don't realize that they've been overdoing ituntil they've been they're burnt out, and
then they cannot do it anymore.So I'm really just aware of of that

(04:41):
pattern for myself. And even whenI'm sick er i'm well, or in
that pit and I'm trying to getout, I'm like immediately trying to get
myself out as fast as i can, and it's like, okay, well,
the reason that you're here is becauseyou couldn't slow down, or you
couldn't take time to sit with thisor whatever it is. So typically I

(05:02):
would be, you know, tryingto I'd be in panic mode trying to
unfreeze myself. So when I pushmy threshold, I kind of eventually will
end up in a bit of afreeze response and then nothing happens. I
can't cook meals for myself, Ican't clean my house, I can't you

(05:27):
know, I can't even think.I can't make a plan, I can't.
Like it's just it gets I freeze, and that's when I know I'm
like way past my threshold. Andthen I usually am in panic mode to
get out of that because it feelsawful. I feel I feel helpless,

(05:50):
I feel incapable, I feel allthese things. I feel like a bad
mom, I feel like a badbusiness owner, I feel like a bad
friend, I feel like a badeverything. Like I just feel bad.
It just feels bad. So I'mtrying not to panic because that's just adding

(06:10):
more stress. So I was like, yeah, I'm just trying to like
really notice where I need to supportmyself right now. And yeah, yeah,
so I feel like I'm out ofthe depths of the November cellular upgrade.

(06:34):
And man, it is like Itruly believe that everything physical that happens
is a is an upgrade on everylevel, an emotional and mental and energetic,
a timeline everything who was so interesting. I got really sick and them

(06:54):
the day that I was like kindof up and about, Like the next
day, like I wasn't even fullyfeeling better, but I threw my neck
out and then I couldn't move myneck for a couple of days, and
you know, just another sign thatmy body's like it just chill for a
second, Like you your world's notgonna end if you don't really participate for

(07:14):
a week, you know. Yeah, And just trying to remind myself what's
important because we see so much stuffhappening. I see other people in my
line of work who don't have kidsor do have kids, but have different

(07:43):
ways of showing up in their life. And not that kids are important in
this conversation necessarily, but it willmake sense in a moment where you know,
I see them showing up in certainways. And I see people showing
up in relationships or dating in differentways like I have not had. There's

(08:07):
I couldn't have possibly had even apen pal in November because people that I
wanted to connect with I felt likeI didn't even really have the ability to
do that. So I see peopledating, I see people in their businesses,
I see people in motherhood, Isee people in all these different areas
doing these things. We're just consumingso much information and seeing it and I'm

(08:30):
like, well, I have tobe doing all of these things, and
I have also desires to do thosethings. Of Course, I want to
date, of course, I wantto be exercising every day. Of course,
I want to be going in thison of course. I want to
be doing long meditations. Of course, I want to be putting new offerings
out of course, I want tobe teaching classes every day, of course,

(08:50):
of course, of course, ofcourse, of course, but instead
of having and I'm the type ofperson who wants to fucking do it all.
That's why I do so many differentthings. I do tarot and astrology
and coaching and energy healing and mentorshipand classes and certifications and speed like a
podcast learning stuff all the time.I want to do everything. That's who

(09:15):
I am. I'm passionate about theendless supply of things I could do.
I want to do every activity.I want to do it all. But
I have to find what's important rightnow. And what's important for me right
now might not be what's the mostimportant for me in a month, and
I will reassess then. So inthe last little bit, I've been really

(09:39):
trying to be like, Okay,what's the most important to me? What
are the most important things? Ionly have so much energy, I only
have so many resources, I onlyhave so much time in a day.
I only want to exhaust so manyhours of my day too. I don't
want to be doing something every hourof the day, which I have been

(10:03):
like, I can't remember other thanthis last week or so, the last
time I sat on the couch andwhen watched a show with nothing else going
on, with no work going on, with no like not me creating something
or doing some type of anything.So I've been trying to figure out what's

(10:24):
the most important for me, Andof course the most important thing is always
going to be Dawson and so andgiving her the best parts of me,
not the parts of me that areburnt out, or the parts of me
that are trying to date. BecauseI see it and I want it,

(10:46):
and other people are doing it,and I'm like, I want to be
doing that. I want to behaving fun stories to tell my friends and
to be wined and dined, andwant to I want to be offering all
these things with work because I seethese people who don't have kids doing that,
and of course it's just too muchstuff to be trying to do everything,

(11:09):
and so I've just been like,Okay, what's the most important,
and I I don't I don't thinkI've ever talked about it, really,
but I when Dawson started kindergarten,I took on a and out of the
house, fun little marketing thing andit was only a few hours a week

(11:31):
and it felt doable. I gotto leave the house because I've worked from
home for so long. Dawson wasstarting kindergarten, so I thought I had
more hours to do that, andso a whole year later, I stayed
and I was only there a fewhours a week, but I just I
just ended that because it was takingup a lot of time. And that

(11:54):
sounds kind of silly because I wasonly there a few hours of a week,
but it was the most important thing. So I let that go,
and I'm just making a few adjustments. I feel like where you need to
make adjustments. But that's my update. That is my update, and that's

(12:15):
my reminder too, is that youcan't do it all. And the really
fucked up part about that is thatsometimes you'll actually be able to and it'll
feel really good. You'll do allthe things that you know, you'll feel
so good. But that's a season, and especially as women, we go

(12:35):
through all four seasons in one month, and so just right now, as
we're in a collective season of winteringand slowing down and hibernating and connecting to

(12:56):
what's the most important. As we'rein hibernation, we don't bring everything into
hibernation. We take what's going tobe the most valuable for us until spring
and then we reconnect to abundance.So right now we're taking the things that
are like, if I have tocarry this, and this is going to
last me through the winter, what'sthe most important, What is going to

(13:18):
nourish me the most, What isgoing to make me feel the most fulfilled
and happy and connected. In thespring, we'll be flowing in abundance.
But so we're entering this time,we're not supposed to be doing it all.
This is such a hard time ofyear too. This is the losses

(13:41):
that I'm seeing and the grief thatsurfaces is time of year. The days
are short, we have no vitaminD, people are getting sick, people
are tired, and it's because we'reI think we're running at the pace of

(14:09):
that doesn't match where we're at.So just what is the most important to
you, and how can you supportyourself in making it important, prioritizing it,
shimmying some things to the side fora little bit, to let the

(14:31):
light and air into the things thatare important, Because if I'm squished with
everything, I can't really let thelight into my connection with Dawson. If
I'm consumed everywhere else and burnt outeverywhere else. My connection with Dawson is
going to feel really stuffy, andit's going to feel pressure and tight and

(14:54):
short and like you're wearing two tightof pants after you ate a tight a
big meal. And my connection withmy clients is going to feel that way
too if everything else is stuffed.So I'm just trying to let some air
into my life, let some lightinto my life that through the act of

(15:15):
release, and it can feel scaryfor me. I'm sure so many of
you resonate that when there is thatspace, it's like, oh my god,
what do I do? Because itfeels a bit safer when everything is
every second is delegated to something,and for different reasons, it can feel

(15:41):
really scary when space does open up. Yeah, we can't do everything all
of the time, and then itjust makes me feel like I'm not doing
a good job in any of theareas when I am trying to do it

(16:03):
all, you know, I haven'tI feel like I haven't posted on social
media in like a month. Idon't think it's been that long. But
and then I'm like, oh mygod, I'm not going to get you
know, new clients or the offeringsthat I have available right now, no
one's going to sign up for thembecause I haven't posted about them. And

(16:30):
then I just feel shitty there.And then you know, I visit with
a friend and they're dating and doingall these fun things and it's cute and
exciting and they're going out and andI haven't changed my outfit in two weeks.
I've I've maybe washed it like once, and that's not a lie.

(16:52):
And my hair is greasy and it'sbeen in a ponytail and a bun for
two weeks, and my skin isbreaking out because I've been skipping washing my
face some night, like the realityof life. And then I'm and it's
not to say that the people whoare posting on social media every day of
their offerings and the people that areout dating are so fulfilled and perfect and
amazing, but I just get inthis really just it feels like it sucks

(17:26):
the life out of me, notthat they suck the life out of me,
that I suck the life out ofmyself trying to. And then I'm
come back to the reminder of like, if posting on social media was the
most important thing for you right now, you'd be doing it. And if
dating was the most important thing foryou right now, you'd be doing it,

(17:47):
but it's not. They are thingsyou want to do. Posting on
social media is social media is mymain well it's the second. Word of
mouth is always uh, the mostimportant. But social media is huge.
Instagram is huge for my business.I get new opportunities, I connect with

(18:14):
new people. So of course it'simportant, but it's not obviously the most
important thing or the top three OR'dbe doing I'd be doing it, and
same with dating, same with exerciseor whatever. All this all this stuff,
and that's okay. I'm not badfor those things not being at the

(18:36):
top of my list. Cleaning keepingmy house perfect is not the most important
thing for me right now. It'snot that we're living in squander. There's
just stuff on the counters and I'vegot a pile of launchry that needs to
be done and that's fine. Yeah, being a human god is a lot,

(19:04):
you guys. It's a lot.And I think because obviously it's normal,
like being a human is normal forus. It's all been normalized,
so all these things of like justhaving a body is normal. It's just
normal human shit. But it doesn'tmean that it's hard just because it's normal,
so I think we forget that itis really actually so hard. My

(19:34):
belief is that Earth is the hardestplanet that we can come to, so
that we're all these souls, andI believe that there's many different places we
can incardinate to. I think thatthere's this is okay, this solar system,

(19:59):
Neptune, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Pluto, Mars, Mercury.
You know the deal. Venus isEarth's solar system. So if your soul
that is residing on Earth, whichis you and I, Hello, this
is our solar system. But it'snot the solar system for every other solar
system or other planet we can resideon. So let's say there's another planet

(20:25):
that a soul can go to.I'm looking at my little bowl of oranges,
so let's call it planet Orange.Planet Orange also has its own solar
system that we're not aware of becausewe are in this solar system for Earth.
We only know Earth's incarnations stuff,so we know about like only what
we know here. And then whenyou, let's say, go to planet

(20:47):
Orange. Let's say you have alifetime on planet Orange, you wouldn't know
anything about Earth. Or Earth's solarsystem. There'd be no Neptune Uranus.
It would be like its own.It's kind of like you're in a vortex
of it's a shielded it's hidden.It's like this is Earth, and this
is like the set of Earth.This is Earth the movie, and there's
these streets and these planets and thisknowledge, and that's it. And then

(21:10):
it would be the same for allthe different things or places, and Earth
I believe is the hardest, mostsought after place to incarnate. It's kind
of like a friend and I wecalled it the Harvard of where a soul
comes to learn. So this isthe Harvard of places that we can reside.

(21:33):
And I've talked so deeply about thiswith different people, and it's like
one of my favorite conversations actually,where I think some planets our physical bodies
are different, and that there's nolike soul learning or growth. It's just

(21:55):
like we get a physical body,but it's just pure enjoyment. Like there's
only food that tastes good, there'sonly experiences that are filled with pleasure.
There's only like love and connection.On Earth, we have the very vast
scale of pain and suffering and loveand pleasure and bliss and birth and death.

(22:17):
And I think every planet is verydifferent or every place that we can
reside. So Earth is just hard. So you are here by so fucking
design, yes, El, youare not here by accident, like your

(22:37):
soul waited and waited and waited.And I think Delor's canon has stats which
I love, and I don't rememberon how many souls want to get to
Earth and how many souls actually cometo Earth, and how rare it is
to get to Earth. Dolores's canonthe goat. So we are here because

(23:00):
it is a lot, and it'sjust normal because this is the human experience.
But the human experience is not easy, and our soul is growing at
an exponential rate. It's in Harvardright now. We're all doing the hardest

(23:21):
learning, and so much of itis so amazing, like the fact that
we can laugh, that there's thingsthat make us laugh even when we don't
want to laugh, like you know, you like are trying to shut your

(23:44):
mouth and like you know, pinchingyour legs so you don't smile, but
like it just consumes you and youcannot not laugh or smile or let out
a little smirk or giggle, andthat there's food that tastes so good,
like the food that you just likeconsistently crave over and over and over again,
like you could never get sick ofit, or like memories from childhood,

(24:08):
whether it's like one little blip ofa memory that just stays with you
and it brings you peace or comfort, or it reminds you of your innocence,
and that it's all just here,that these are all things that we
can experience, that oranges have theselittle segments that you can just like peel

(24:32):
apart and eat, and that bananashave their own little house, their little
cases that you just open up beeat those little sweet inside. And then
there's so much pain too, andpain that we can't even look at fully,

(24:57):
pain that we that we would maybeglance at and then look away quickly
and hope that we would never seeit again. Like how that all exists
in one place is so insane.And then we expect ourselves to feel good
every day and to have the businesseswe want, in the relationships we want,

(25:19):
and to be the kind of momwe want to be, and to
be the friend that we want tobe, and to have the house that
we want to have and to andto be able to smile at strangers and
not be a bit to your partner, like, hello, do you' how
fucking complicated this place we are isand that everything's a mystery and that we

(25:42):
have to sleep so much of it, Like that's fucked up too. But
this is the most learning we're gonnahave, and so of course it's gonna
be a lot of everything. It'sgoing to be a lot. So just

(26:10):
give yourself a break. Give yourselfa break. And you know you're listening

(26:30):
to this right now, So you'resafe enough to have the ability to turn
on a podcast that's not required toget by. It's just here for fun
and enjoyment and a thought. Maybeyou're safe enough to be listening to this.

(27:06):
You have enough. You have enoughof what you need to be here
and to continue. But you haveenough already. We don't have to add
or be something different to continue gettingthrough to enjoy this good season that we're

(27:33):
in or this hard season that we'rein. You have enough. You don't
have to be more, or bebetter or be different, because then you
would just be missing out on youduring this any so so interesting to let

(28:15):
to let others and let ourselfs solveour own problems, or to navigate life
and and build self trust to getget to the next spot, or to

(28:37):
support ourselves through that we that we'recapable or we trust ourselves enough to be
able to get through these hard momentsor these good days, whatever it might
be, because we're just so primedto try to solve things for everyone.

(28:57):
And I had a conversation with afriend earlier who is in a bit of
a support role for someone grieving,and you know, they expressed that they
feel like they have to dissolve thegrief that this person other person is in,

(29:18):
Like they have to say the rightthing or do the right thing or
somehow give them an answer so thatit can alleviate the grief or the pain
that they're in. And you know, I just was sitting with that after
our talk, and you know,I said to her, like it's on

(29:41):
a performance. There's there's actually nothingthat we can do that would alleviate someone's
pain or grief. There's nothing.There's no secret you know, phrase or
response or resource to alleviate that.There's just not so once we can free
ourself from that that there is nothing. There's nothing in the whole world that

(30:03):
could alleviate that and instead to bringintention to your ability as a spaceholder,
to bring intention to the way thatyou hold space for them, because somebody

(30:26):
who needs support, and this timeof year, like I said, is
really hard. Losses that accumulated throughoutthe year seem to come to a head
around this time to like preparing forChristmas and the holidays and just the wintering
is hard. Right we're taking ourstock, we're finding what's important, and

(30:48):
then we're going into hibernation. Andso when the things that are important to
us were lost or taken from us, we really notice it right now.
And so so whether the loss isrecent or was in February, it is
really heightened right now. But everybodyjust wants a safe space. People want

(31:15):
a safe space to feel their emotions. People want a safe space to talk
about what they're feeling or stories ortheir fears or whatever it is. People
just want a safe space to sitin silence. People just want a safe
space that they can show up inand know that it's authentic and genuine connection.

(31:44):
So if we're showing up in thissupport role as trying to solve it
or take it away or say theright thing or do the right thing.
We're actually creating this sense of panicpotentially in the space that you're holding for
them, and they want is safety. They just want a safe space.

(32:05):
So for anyone who feels like they'rein this role, and everyone is to
some degree, because you go towork, Let's say someone your co worker
had a shitty night and they gotin a fight with their partner and they're
kind of brain dumping it to you. You're in that spaceholder role. If
you're someone that you care about isgoing through hard time again, you're in

(32:29):
that spaceholder role. So if youfind yourself in that, just come back
to the intention of just they justwant a safe space. That's it.
They just want to save space tofeel or to show up or to come
and all that looks like is youactive listening and being there with them holding

(32:55):
space. That's it. And forthe people who need to show up in
those containers to be held and tobe seen and to be heard safely,
it's okay to do that. It'sokay to be seen and heard and to

(33:28):
find the people that feel safe tohold that space for you and to be
that for each other, and justfinding yourself at the top of that important
scale or list that you also needto have space held for you, which

(33:53):
is really challenging. I know formyself, I never shared stuff with anyone,
so you know, I feel likein this last month, I've had
things sort of come out that thatwasn't in the past, and so people

(34:15):
around me have shown up in sortof support of that. And to be
honest, I fucking hate it.Not because I hate that encounter. It
just it feels shocking to me tohave to be like held in that safe
space. But I know it's required. I know that I have to have

(34:38):
that. Every human needs to havethat. So if you feel like you
don't have safe space, then messageme and you can come to a class
on me and or I'll I'm alwaysan ear and I will find you a

(35:00):
to feel seen and heard safely becauseeverybody needs it. Everybody needs it,
and it might be uncomfortable and youmight hate it at first, but it's
not the safe space that you hate. It's that a part of you is

(35:20):
being witnessed that maybe hasn't been witnessedbefore, and it feels and it feels
painful. I just wish that Icould have this. I wish everybody could
prioritize having space held for them andto show up for themselves. I wish
everybody had that at the very topof their list. Then we would meet

(35:43):
every day and everyone would just befilled with love and a knowing that they
are valued and they could cultivate selftrust within themselves. I've got a new

(36:05):
thing that will be birthing in thenew year. It's different than anything I've
offered before, and it's very similarto that because I feel I don't know,
I just don't resonate with the onlinespace very much, and I feel

(36:29):
like I keep on my old podcast, I talked about the journey of my
business, and so when I startedthirteen years ago, I didn't even have
business cards, I didn't have asocial media I didn't even have an email
address like I just I started andit was fully and completely word of mouth,

(36:52):
which was so cool because I hadcorners of people that would show up
that I'm like, who did youhear this from? And it was one
of my favorite conversations to have,was like who, how did you find
me? Uh? And the weavingthat would happen through the community was so
so neat to me. But soI never had social media. And then

(37:13):
six years ago now, a friendof mine was like, you need to
have an Instagram because I did atarot reading on her. I think is
how it started. And she waslike, you need to have an Instagram.
And fuck, maybe it wasn't evensix years ago, because Dawson would

(37:34):
have been born. It was I'llhave to look maybe four years ago.
I don't know. Anyways, Istarted an Instagram account, and when I
first started it, I had nointention behind it. It was just like
me sharing astrology transits is how itkind of started. And I liked sharing

(37:57):
pretty pictures. I liked editing coolpink, pretty pictures. If you guys
remember that vibe, and everything justfeels so inauthentic and salesy on social media.
And I think because I didn't haveit for so long for my business,
maybe I'm just I just don't reallyI'm not a social media gal.

(38:19):
I know I say that a lot, but it's just so hard to like
show up in the way that Yeah, I don't know. I don't have
really a curated thought on this,but my goal is to make an online

(38:42):
community that feels like we live ina village where we meet regularly and we
have resources and tools and we share, and it feels like home, and
it feels safe and amazing and beautiful, and it feels like the place you

(39:07):
want to come to to feel athome and yourself. And it doesn't feel
like a million different ebooks on everythingon how to do sales and e commerce
and making money through this and makingten thousand dollars a week in your first
month, and just all of thisstuff is so loud to me on social

(39:28):
media. And I am not sayingthat it doesn't work. I'm not saying
that it's not valuable for them.I'm not saying that it doesn't benefit people,
because it absolutely does. Social mediais amazing for that there's everything for
everyone. So I need to makemy pillar for my people really strong because

(39:52):
I know that so many people feellike me through social media. But then
the reach is so amazing, andI've connected with so many of you that
I wouldn't have otherwise connected with.It's just a really interesting it's an interesting
space, and I need to just, I guess remember that it's my I

(40:13):
have a little corner of it toothat I get to claim and have as
my own, my own energy,because God, it's just it's very weird.
It's very bizarre out there. Ifeel like, you know, when

(40:37):
you get sick and you are inrecovery mode, but you're still kind of
out of it. So when we'resick, especially when we have a fever,
we have a soul fever. Italked about this a couple episodisodes ago
when I talked about getting your childto draw a picture before they get sick,

(40:58):
and then once they have completed theirfever and their sickness has come full
circle, you get them to drawa picture again and you'll see developmentally what
changes. So depending on what agethey are, you're going to recognize different
patterns in their sickness that gets changedor upgraded or leveled up. So our
soul kind of separates from our bodieswhen we have a fever, and in

(41:22):
particular when we have a fever.And I had a fever last when I
was sickup this last week or so, and so we kind of have this
soul separation and then eventually it kindof comes back and clicks back into place,
and it'll have this sort of cellularupgrade. I feel like my soul
has it like fully clicked back inI feel a little discombobulated inside, and

(41:47):
it really shows up mentally for me. I feel really like, yeah,
just things aren't lining up in myhead, which is hard when I'm such
a mental person and my brain isusually so strong and so quick and I
work at a quick pace and Ican write things really easily, and right

(42:12):
now my brain just feels like it'slike a bit of a swamp and I'm
walking through this swamp with big bootson and they're filled with water and I'm
like splishing and splashing try to getto the other side. So that's never
a fun feeling. But I feellike I know so many people that are
sick or who have just been sickwho feel like that. So I'm boiling

(42:39):
cedar on my stove right now tokill bacteria in my house. So I
take little cedar sprigs and I justput it in water on the stove and
I boil it all day. Bythe way, simmer pots are the bees
knees. I feel like every winterseason I do simmer pots a lot,

(43:00):
just because I'm home all day andit just is like, I don't know,
there are simmer pots that you cando for the summer months with like
florals and make them really fresh.But a winter simmer pot is d vine,
as Dawson would say, so rightnow. Yesterday I did cedar spriggs,

(43:22):
I did apples, oranges and mullingspices. Today I have cedar spriggs,
apple cinnamon, vanilla, and man, you just let it boil on
your stove all day long at alow, super super low simmer, and

(43:44):
your house smells so amazing. Butthen you have the benefits of the cedar
killing bacteria in your home and sortof cleansing and purifying your space, which
I really like, especially post sickness. I feel like I need to cleanse
this space of the purging that Ihad, because man, I sweat hard

(44:09):
for like four days, I hada fever. I was releasing, I
was purging, and so the houseneeds to be the house needs to be
cleansed out a little bit too.Oh. I hope everyone is doing well.
It's such a beautiful time to bealive and a trying time to be

(44:34):
alive, but I guess that's whatwe signed up for. I just don't
want us to feel tired at asoul level all the time. I don't
want us to feel like we aredragging parts of us behind us that feel

(45:01):
tired. So if you feel likethat right now, figure out what's the
most important, and the most importantthings might not be the best for business,
it might not be the best forcertain areas of your life that you

(45:23):
know you want to be pouring into. But we have to sometimes readjust so
that we can pour back into thosethings with beautiful, full energy when we
can again. You know, wecould have ten pots that need watering,

(45:46):
and we've only got so much water, so if we put a drip in
each pot, then then everything's justgoing to go to shit. But if
we maybe put a couple outside toget sprinkled on by the rain, and
then we pour into to the threemost important ones in our house, that's
okay too. Speaking of rain,I'm sitting here and it's pouring out West

(46:10):
Coast. Winter is here. Wehad some really cold days, which is
actually I think I enjoy a littlebit more when the skies are blue and
it's crisp and cold and the car'sfrosty in the morning, but the skies
are blue and it doesn't feel likewe're living under a blanket. But now

(46:30):
that has changed and it's rainy andwarmer, but it is damp and wet,
which is beautiful too, because Iwas sitting at my desk earlier and
I was looking outside and I'm like, oh damn, I'm happy to be
in here. I don't feel likeI need to be out at all,

(46:51):
which is nice. So here's myupdate you guys. I wanted to come
on and teach you something, togive you something super valuable, but a
brain dump is what you get.And I will be back very soon to

(47:14):
give you another update. I've beendoing in person energy healing sessions again,
which I want to talk to youabout. I want to talk and tell
you about what a session is likeand what it's like for me, because
this is that's the biggest question Iget is when people have a session,
they're like, holy shit, whatis happening for you? Like? What
what's happening in your brain? Whatare you seeing? What are you feeling?

(47:37):
How do you know that? Whatare you doing? Like? So
I want to I want to reallygo in depth on that because it is
such a seriously special time that Iget to share with my clients. So
I want to talk about that,and I want to give you some more
updates on the writing process. I'moffering kids classes now. I feel like

(48:00):
I have a lot of like actualupdates and things that I'm excited to talk
about. I just wanted to giveyou an update because I've had some of
you reach out, which is socool, and I don't hate it.
By the way, I would havelike run away, I would have never
texted any of y'all back, becauseI'm like, but I have opened myself

(48:24):
up to be willing to share andto receive and to be utilizing the instrument
of my body in the way thatit knows how to work. I am
a giver and a receiver. Everybodyis. We have that technology in our
bodies, and so I said Iwould be willing to do that. So
part of my willingness to put outis also to receive. I have to

(48:45):
have that balance. So I've hada few of you reach out and just
say like, hey, I knowNovember is hard for you, we miss
you, we love you, Andthat means so much because I can receive
that. So that feels really special. But so I just wanted to give

(49:06):
you an update on what was goingon for me. Sit here with my
eyes closed and brain dump. ButI do have some real updates that I'll
hit you with very soon. Ilove you all so much. What is
important for you? And what wouldit feel like and look like to actually
put those things at the top ofyour list Right now? Everything will still
move forward. We are still flowingon the river of time. Just because

(49:30):
we delegate ourselves a little differently doesnot mean the boat is going to stop
and we're gonna drown. We willalways keep flowing. Life is going to
keep going. It'll keep going whenyou're burnt out and can't get out of
bed, and it'll keep going whenyou delegate your time differently to the most
important things. So let's choose thatone because you deserve to be participating in

(49:52):
life. Because it is short,it is weird. I don't like that
we have to sleep so much.And this will all make sense one day
when we're on planet Orange and allthe food is good and there's only love
and only pleasure, and we're likeeight feet tall and we all have hair
down to like the back of ourknees, and that'll just be so fun.

(50:15):
So it's just where everything's going tokeep going. So just make it
work the best for you, notwhat's the best for other people because it's
probably not the best for them either. What they're showing okay, love you, Bye,