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Episode Transcript
Around the world, around your country, around your parts. This
is headline.
Speaker 2 (00:14):
Addition with the ed Parnell, a company in Birmingham, has
defended it's all you can eat sleeping bag. The device,
which is designed to be consumed without getting up, comes
in English continental oatmeal or waffles covered in maple syrup varieties.
The manufacturers are sure customers the maximum luxury sleeping experience,
save for the crumbs lodged between the buttocks, and the
(00:37):
Government officials are in uproar over the cuts to their
perks and limousines and luttery vehicles that they are used
to have been withdrawn and replaced by greeneram substantially cheaper skateboards.
It's long been thought many people are simply getting thinner
due to healthier lifestyles, but an investigation into weight loss
in the UK is located a warehouse just outside Birmingham
(00:57):
where the missing tonnage is being stored that is alphabetically
cataloged in disgusting filing cabinets were to leak out the sides,
but owners can easily access their own disgusting corpulate substances
for reassignment should the need occur. Werebel strikers come to
an end with representatives of potential victims and like aanthropic management,
agreeing terms on ours, demarcation and pensions. Many of the
(01:20):
so called prey experience dissatisfaction, however, with the settlement, but
they've reluctantly agreed to return to work and be torn
to shreds on a four day rotor system, although some
of those effected have expressed additional concerns over staff parking.
Greggs have long coured the market with spicy, standard and
vegan sausage rolls, but now the bakers can boast a
unique eating experience with the first sausage role to achieve
(01:43):
artificial consciousness. Customers can now enjoy the additional experience of
deciding to be benevolent to the snack and setting it
free in woodland, or savor the tyrannical consequence free power
trip of biting into a sausage which is screaming for mercy,
how much his revenue and customs of the fact that
they may in fact be entirely staffed by a bunch
of disgusting perverts. This comes hot on the heels of
(02:06):
offers being made to people who owed tax from previous
years that they can pay off their debts by simply
allowing their grandmother to be lightly massaged. That's headline edition.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
I met Parnell
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