August 4, 2024 • 25 mins
More Trump follies; the Paris Olympics; chicken rulings from the Ohio Supreme Court and other assorted nimrod material.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Readings and welcome to the broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So, in the aftermath of the Trump assassination attempt, we're
getting a few more details about the the would be assassin,
Thomas Matthew Crooks. It would seem that his motivation, or
his motive for attempting to kill Trump was that he
(00:26):
was looking to start a second civil war. Now I
don't know if killing Trump would have really had done that,
but you know, some of the a few of the
deranged radicals who do follow Trump, I mean not all
of them, but some of them would most likely cause
some civil unrest, as in the case of the insurrection
(00:50):
of a few years back.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
But whether or not it would.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Actually trigger a full out civil war, well, I have
my doubts there. But it is rather interesting to learn
some more of the mindset of.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
This of this guy and his motives for what he did.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And it is a little disturbing in that his thought
process doesn't seem to be one hundred percent how should
we say, rational, But then again, that seems to be
part of the world that we live in, in which
people suddenly go completely cuckoo for no apparent reason and
go on shooting spreeze and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Moving right along. Let me touch on the election for a.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Couple of minutes here in some of the stories have
been coming through concerning that in that Trump's.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Vice presidential candidate JD.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Vance, who seems to be questionable at best, has recently
been getting into a i say, a pissing contest with
Jennifer Aniston over some comments that Vance had made in
which he said, and I'm quoting here, that the country
is now being run by child childless cat ladies. And
(02:11):
of course this was an inference to Kamala Harris and others,
and of course Jennifer Anderson has been firing right back
at these comments, and rightfully so.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And Vance has.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Also commented that basically, if you don't have kids, then
you have no right to be running the country because
you have no stake in the future of the country.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
What kind of a stupid what what kind of moronic ideology.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Is that that if you don't have kids, then you're
not allowed to participate in the future of the country.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You're supposed to just sit in the corner be quiet.
I guess excuse me, mister J. D or whatever your
name is.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Every single citizen of the United States has a stake
in this country, especially if we're taxpayers. See there's there's
a little catch there, because we help pay the salary
of the people who run the country. And you know,
we all, we all we always stake in it. Okay,
we all live here. Uh, it is our home, and
(03:31):
you know, the future of the country concerns all of
us greatly, especially considering some of the people running for office,
such as yourself in mister Trump. Leaves us, especially myself,
with a great deal of doubt as to how well
things are going to go in the future if mister
Trump should hap to be re elected as president.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Let me let me make this quite clear.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Just because some of us have chosen not to breed,
then that does not mean we're to be excluded in
the running of this country. You're breeding practices should not
be a uh, you know, qualification as to your status
within within the Nation Act acton you shall procreate and
(04:20):
create babies in order to participate in the glory of
the nation.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Doesn't understand.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm sorry that that just kind of slipped out. I
don't know where that came from. That was not directed
towards anyone. Sorry, And of course, mister j.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
D Uh also wants to.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I guess take away all adult content from a online
and whatnot. And I hate to disappoint, but there's there's
there's this little thing called the Constitution which guarantees certain
rights such as freedom of speech and expression. And like
it or not, pornography does fall under that category as
(05:04):
artistic expression to one degree or another. So to start
taking that away or restricting it is there's a word
for that.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
It's called censorship.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
And you definitely you don't want to have censorship because
it's a bad thing. Maybe there may be mister Vance
is offended by pornography. Well, you know, there's a lot
of things that offend me. But if I went around
and said I want this band in that band, will
it be nothing left. But let me take a moment
(05:35):
here to kind of sidetrack and share with you a
little story from the historical Annals in that during World
War two there was a plan for the RAF to
drop bombs on Germany. Not bombs filled with explosives, but
(05:56):
these bombs were to be filled with thousands of leaflets
contained images of fine German pure bred folks engaged in
acts of sexual perversion, which I will not go into
it here.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
It's quite unspeakable.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
The thought was apparently Hitler and or the Nazis had
an aversion to pornography, and they figured if they did this,
these images would push Hitler off the deep end and
the Germans would eventually surrender. Unfortunately, the British decided that
(06:37):
the rif We're not going to drop the porno bombs,
and thus history went on as we now know it.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Just thought i'd.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Share that no particular reason, just to share, just to
enlighten and inform of those who have an aversion to pornography.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But while I'm on the subject of the clown show,
that is the Trump jd Vance ticket for president and
vice president. I recently read that Trump is, if he
gets elected president, he's planning on protecting our nation from
attack by building an iron dome over the country. So
(07:24):
I don't know if if mister Trump is speaking maybe
metaphorically or literally, or what if he's being literal. I
hope he realizes that an iron dome would most likely
block out all the sun, which would probably not be
a good tank to you know, probably wouldn't help our
(07:44):
crops any And you know, I'm one of those people
who sunbathes in the nude. I like my all over tan,
unlike mister Trump. I don't get my tan out of
a can.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So I need the sun. So we can't have an
iron dome over the country.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And he couldn't even manage to build a wall along
the US Mexico border. How in the hell is he
gonna build an iron dome from c to Shining Sea
over the US of A?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
And how is this an't gonna work?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Is it gonna be able to like bounce missiles off
or or is it gonna be like lasers like the
Star Wars program that Ronald.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Reagan was pushing. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I have questions, and for my biggest question is how
much is it gonna cost those of us who pay
taxes in this country. That is a thought that concerns
me because if I have no money left after paying
my taxes to pay for the dome, then I don't
give a rats ask if I got a missile off
my head either way?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
But all kidding aside, this is just another example of
the the improv comedy show that is the sheer definition
of the Trump campaign. Is he gonna use a bunch
of lasers or is he actually gonna build a dome
over the country with him? You never know for certain,
but whatever, so let me just segue here onto the
(09:16):
Olympics in Paris. I really have not been watching the
games because I really don't care. But my understanding is
there was a certain amount of controversy at the opening ceremonies,
in which a group of drag queens performed a fashion
(09:38):
show that was a recreation of da Vinci's famous painting
known as The Last Supper. This performance included French actor
and singer Philippe Katerine I'm hoping I'm saying that correctly, who.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Was painted all blue and appeared as the Greek god
Anicius while wearing only a bouquet of flowers to cover
his crotch.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Some Christians and right wing radicals were outraged by the performance,
saying that it had overt pagan and Satanic symbolism and
was a supreme insult to the Last Supper. Thomas Jolly,
the artistic director of the opening ceremonies, said that the
(10:31):
opening was meant to show inclusion of people and not exclusion,
which is why they had that particular theme. He did
not realize it was going to be so offensive to
so many people.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Let me just say here, right here now, Viva la France,
Viva la France. Good for you, because you know what
they're trying to do here with this.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
The French were trying to shake up the status quo.
And that's exactly what they did.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
They ruffled some feathers. Well, too bad. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You know, a lot of the right wing Christians and
the radicals, they're offended by almost everything. In fact, I
would not be surprised that if and when they fuck
their significant other, they probably wear all their clothes, or
they have the lights turn out, or they just don't
look because they're afraid of being offended by their own sexuality.
(11:27):
And let us not forget the rampage that Jerry Flowell
went on in nineteen ninety nine when he declared that
the Teletubbies were gonna cause your kids to become perverts.
In particular, the supposed gay teletubby Tinky Winky or whatever
his name was, was a supreme level of perversion for
(11:48):
your kids. Well, you know what, No children's Saturday morning
show character is gonna cause your kid to become a pervert,
all right, They're gonna do that quite nicely on their own,
probably with some help from that uncle that nobody wants around. Anyways,
So the bottom line here, a little message to my
out of control rant, is that Christians are gonna be offended.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
By any goddamn thing that comes their way. Get over it.
Let the Olympics have their fun.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
If they want to have a bunch of drag queens
portraying the Last Supper, then so be it.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I'm sure Jesus would probably get a good laugh out
of it all. Really, So there enough said, let me
move on here.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Anyways, I happen to notice this story that came out
in which the Ohio Supreme Court recently ruled that boneless
wings may in fact have some bones in them. This
monumental decision comes as a result of a restaurant patron
(12:56):
who suffered serious medical complications from getting a bone stuck
in his throat while eating wings that were touted as boneless.
This man subsequently filed a lawsuit for his injuries, and
eventually the lawsuit was thrown out by a lower court
(13:18):
and it went all.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
The way to the Supreme Court.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
On appeal, the Supreme Court justices declared that boneless wings
refers to a cooking style, and that since chickens in
fact have bones, there is no guarantee that boneless wings
may not have bones. I can't tell you how relieved
(13:43):
I am that the Ohio Supreme Court has informed us
and probably ruled that chickens do in fact have bones.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But let me read to you.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
What Justice Deaters had to say on the subject, and quote.
A diner reading boneless wings on a menu would no
more believe that the restaurant was warranting the absence of
bones in the items and believe that the items were
made from chicken wings, just as a person eating chicken
(14:21):
fingers would know that he had not been served fingers.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Dear God, I cannot believe what I just read here.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
So now that we have, with the assistance of the
Ohio Supreme Court, established that, I guess chickens don't have fingers,
and if you ordered chicken fingers, you're not gonna get
actual fingers. Forgive me for laughing. I know somebody here
suffered an injury because of all this, But come on, now,
(15:02):
it's time for a reality check. I'm guessing it's really
really slow these days in the Ohio judicial system.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
That hey, they would even.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Hear this case in the first place, had secondly come
up with these resounding statements that will surely make the
law books for years to come. Okay, let me kind
of bottom line this for everybody here, because all of.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
This, what we're seeing, what we're reading, what.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
We're hearing, this is all the result of the fact
that we live in a world in which everything has
to be explained by justices of a Supreme court because
people are so goddamn dense.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
That's what this comes down.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
To, because you know what, there's no other logical explanation
for all this carrying on. Cases concerning mass murderers have
less attention drawn to them then the case of the
boneless chicken and what constant bones and a chicken and
fingers from a fucking chicken. So I'm sorry forgive me
(16:14):
for laughing, but this, this is right up there.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
With Oh God, I can just.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
See years from now, Harvard Law School will be teaching
an entire class on this very ruling from the Ohio
Supreme Court. Oh dear God, I need a drink.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I guess my trustee, psychic Philip is on the other.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Side of the glass here in the studio getting my
nerve pills out for me. It's like, no, I'm good,
I don't need in your bills what I could use.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It's a bulus chicken Christ, what a goddamn mess. Yes
it is. It is the end of civilization as we
know it. Least and gentlemen, you know what, you know what?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
The really sad part of all this is the fact
that the taxpayers in Ohio had to foot the bill
for this. That that's that's what's really so sad. But anyways, whatever,
oh dear God in.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
The in the in the.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Closing moments here in this episode, I'm gonna touch on
a couple of things which recently irritated me. Of course,
everything irritates me, as you know, but I'm gonna tell
you about it. Anyways, two things recently, I stopped into
this this donut shop and Mechanicsburg known as Duck Donuts
and Duck Donuts.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
They make the.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Donut right in front of you, so you can get
whatever toppings of the donut. You can choose them as
like twenty different toppings, a couple of different types of
donuts you can choose from.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
YadA, YadA, YadA. So I went in.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
I've never been in there before. I spent a lot
of time in that area, so I thought, let me
stop it and get a donut.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
See what it's like. I've heard good things about the donuts,
let me try it. So many I'm standing in line
and there's a woman in front of me.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
She's looking to get a donut or a couple of
donuts for someone at home. I guess because she calls
on her phone and she has this on speakerphone and
she's asking the person of the other end, Okay, I'm here,
what kind of donut do you want?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
What do you want on your donut?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And it's like this non response. It's like weird noises,
like moving around, but nothing that's what you'd say as
any sort of response. So she's like, oh, hey, what
do you want? They got strawberry frosting, they got chocolate frosting,
and they got sprinkled toppings.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
What do you want?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
And again there's really no response. There's like noise. Now
it's like.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
So it's it sounds like.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
A Neanderthal taking a ship, but it's not telling her
what kind of donut this person wants. So she's she's
asking and go, okay, well they got they got apple
crumb topping, and they get this, and they get that,
and da da da da da, what.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Do you want? What do you want? And there's like
still no answer here.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
So I don't know whether the the individual on the
other end of the line went into like a catatonic
state or whether the choice of what topping for a
donut is too much for this person's brain to handle.
But either way, this and I kid you not, this
little dissertation took close to five minutes.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
And before I finally left. Okay, because I'm getting old,
all right, I don't have a whole lot of time.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Every time I look at my rear view mirror driving
down the road, I see the grim reapermobile closing.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
In on me.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
So I don't have time and life to waste on
somebody who can't decide what fucking donut they want. Make
a choice at least talk, don't make intelligible noises, unintelligible
noises like you. I mean, you can get a better
conversation out of a dung beetle. And like I said,
I just left. I went out the door and I
(20:42):
was gone. I'm not time for this level of stupidity.
Simple choices in life, we're not asking you to translate
the flight plan for the Apollo Moon missions here. No,
and it's not quite that complex. It should be like
a two or three second thought process and done.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
But no, it wasn't happening. And she's standing there.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
On her phone like, you know, I'm gonna hold up
everyone in line while you know, dumb ass on the
other end can't figure it out.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
But yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And the other thing also involves standing in line. I
was at a store the other day and how many
times have you out? I'm sure how many people have
experienced this. You're in line and the person in front
of he was checking out and suddenly they're a little
short on their debit card, so they need to transfer funds.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Now, some people can do this pretty quick.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Some people can, you know, get on the phone and
you know, do the transfer and they're done.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
And god, no, no. The other day I get behind
a guy who needs to transfer.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Funds obviously to his account, so he's gotta call somebody
to do this.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
He can't do it him, so he's gotta call it.
I guess it's his girlfriend or whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
And I need I need like six dollars or thirty
five cents transferred over my card, and I gotta hear
the girl on the other end like, well, what you
fussting complaining like, well, yeah, I need I gotm the register,
I need I need six to thirty five. This this
goes on for, you know, a couple of minutes, and
(22:11):
the other one on the other end is trying to
figure out how to do this transfer the money. I'm
waiting again, wasting more time. I'm thinking about the miserable
episode of Duck Donuts. I'm still not recovered from that,
and now I gotta deal with this. It takes less
effort for the Federal Reserve to transfer millions of dollars
than it took for this idiot to get six dollars
and thirty five cents transferred to his card by his honey.
(22:35):
It got to the point where I was gonna say, hey, look,
here's six dollars and thirty five cents, take it and
have a good day.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I need to get the hell out of here.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I can't stand await for you to try to figure
out how to get money that you should have had
taken care of before you went to the store.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
It's called pre planning.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Hello, dah, so I guess my point here is if
you go out in life and you do things, try
to be organized before you go out. Now, I know
a lot of these younger folks. I never thought i'd
to the day when I be talking like that, but
I am. I know a lot of these younger folks,
and in fact, i'm old ones, so who should know better.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
They have no.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Concept of pre planning because when they're growing up, their
parents or whatever adults were overseeing them did everything for them.
So they just like kind of like meander through life,
and when it comes down to actually doing something, they're
not prepared. Even the simplest of tasks causes a problem.
(23:35):
So try to, just for the sake of us who
have to wait behind you in line somewhere, try to
be prepared when you get to your destination. Like if
you're gonna get somebody donuts, ask them before you go
what sort of donut they want. Don't wait you get
there and then call and you want hey hey. But anyways,
(23:59):
I think I've set enough for today and it is
soon time for me to sign off, which I'm going to.
I'd like to thank you all for taking the time
out of your busy day to listen to this podcast
and my few moments of uncontrol laughter.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I hope that your day is going well. Please be
careful out there.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
If you get boneless chicken, make sure it is in
fact boneless. You don't want to wind up in front
of the Ohio Supreme Court with some sort of a case.
And until next time, also, please let me remind you again,
please feel free to subscribe to this podcast because I
don't know what you do in your life without me
in your life bitching to you about my life, so
(24:40):
so please feel free to subscribe.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Is this available on most of those major platforms where
you listen or not listen?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I don't know, I don't care, I don't get where
it's ask but please subscribe.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Thank you for listening. Have a good day. You have
a lovely, lovely wife and a lovely life. Those two
go hand in hand. And until next time, so long
for now, bye bye
Readings and welcome to the broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:03):
So, in the aftermath of the Trump assassination attempt, we're
getting a few more details about the the would be assassin,
Thomas Matthew Crooks. It would seem that his motivation, or
his motive for attempting to kill Trump was that he
(00:26):
was looking to start a second civil war. Now I
don't know if killing Trump would have really had done that,
but you know, some of the a few of the
deranged radicals who do follow Trump, I mean not all
of them, but some of them would most likely cause
some civil unrest, as in the case of the insurrection
(00:50):
of a few years back.
Speaker 1 (00:51):
But whether or not it would.
Speaker 2 (00:53):
Actually trigger a full out civil war, well, I have
my doubts there. But it is rather interesting to learn
some more of the mindset of.
Speaker 1 (01:01):
This of this guy and his motives for what he did.
Speaker 2 (01:06):
And it is a little disturbing in that his thought
process doesn't seem to be one hundred percent how should
we say, rational, But then again, that seems to be
part of the world that we live in, in which
people suddenly go completely cuckoo for no apparent reason and
go on shooting spreeze and whatnot.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Moving right along. Let me touch on the election for a.
Speaker 2 (01:34):
Couple of minutes here in some of the stories have
been coming through concerning that in that Trump's.
Speaker 1 (01:42):
Vice presidential candidate JD.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Vance, who seems to be questionable at best, has recently
been getting into a i say, a pissing contest with
Jennifer Aniston over some comments that Vance had made in
which he said, and I'm quoting here, that the country
is now being run by child childless cat ladies. And
(02:11):
of course this was an inference to Kamala Harris and others,
and of course Jennifer Anderson has been firing right back
at these comments, and rightfully so.
Speaker 1 (02:25):
And Vance has.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
Also commented that basically, if you don't have kids, then
you have no right to be running the country because
you have no stake in the future of the country.
Speaker 1 (02:40):
What kind of a stupid what what kind of moronic ideology.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Is that that if you don't have kids, then you're
not allowed to participate in the future of the country.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
You're supposed to just sit in the corner be quiet.
I guess excuse me, mister J. D or whatever your
name is.
Speaker 2 (03:06):
Every single citizen of the United States has a stake
in this country, especially if we're taxpayers. See there's there's
a little catch there, because we help pay the salary
of the people who run the country. And you know,
we all, we all we always stake in it. Okay,
we all live here. Uh, it is our home, and
(03:31):
you know, the future of the country concerns all of
us greatly, especially considering some of the people running for office,
such as yourself in mister Trump. Leaves us, especially myself,
with a great deal of doubt as to how well
things are going to go in the future if mister
Trump should hap to be re elected as president.
Speaker 1 (03:53):
Let me let me make this quite clear.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Just because some of us have chosen not to breed,
then that does not mean we're to be excluded in
the running of this country. You're breeding practices should not
be a uh, you know, qualification as to your status
within within the Nation Act acton you shall procreate and
(04:20):
create babies in order to participate in the glory of
the nation.
Speaker 1 (04:23):
Doesn't understand.
Speaker 2 (04:26):
I'm sorry that that just kind of slipped out. I
don't know where that came from. That was not directed
towards anyone. Sorry, And of course, mister j.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
D Uh also wants to.
Speaker 2 (04:41):
I guess take away all adult content from a online
and whatnot. And I hate to disappoint, but there's there's
there's this little thing called the Constitution which guarantees certain
rights such as freedom of speech and expression. And like
it or not, pornography does fall under that category as
(05:04):
artistic expression to one degree or another. So to start
taking that away or restricting it is there's a word
for that.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
It's called censorship.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
And you definitely you don't want to have censorship because
it's a bad thing. Maybe there may be mister Vance
is offended by pornography. Well, you know, there's a lot
of things that offend me. But if I went around
and said I want this band in that band, will
it be nothing left. But let me take a moment
(05:35):
here to kind of sidetrack and share with you a
little story from the historical Annals in that during World
War two there was a plan for the RAF to
drop bombs on Germany. Not bombs filled with explosives, but
(05:56):
these bombs were to be filled with thousands of leaflets
contained images of fine German pure bred folks engaged in
acts of sexual perversion, which I will not go into
it here.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
It's quite unspeakable.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
The thought was apparently Hitler and or the Nazis had
an aversion to pornography, and they figured if they did this,
these images would push Hitler off the deep end and
the Germans would eventually surrender. Unfortunately, the British decided that
(06:37):
the rif We're not going to drop the porno bombs,
and thus history went on as we now know it.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Just thought i'd.
Speaker 2 (06:47):
Share that no particular reason, just to share, just to
enlighten and inform of those who have an aversion to pornography.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (07:02):
But while I'm on the subject of the clown show,
that is the Trump jd Vance ticket for president and
vice president. I recently read that Trump is, if he
gets elected president, he's planning on protecting our nation from
attack by building an iron dome over the country. So
(07:24):
I don't know if if mister Trump is speaking maybe
metaphorically or literally, or what if he's being literal. I
hope he realizes that an iron dome would most likely
block out all the sun, which would probably not be
a good tank to you know, probably wouldn't help our
(07:44):
crops any And you know, I'm one of those people
who sunbathes in the nude. I like my all over tan,
unlike mister Trump. I don't get my tan out of
a can.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
So I need the sun. So we can't have an
iron dome over the country.
Speaker 2 (08:00):
And he couldn't even manage to build a wall along
the US Mexico border. How in the hell is he
gonna build an iron dome from c to Shining Sea
over the US of A?
Speaker 1 (08:15):
And how is this an't gonna work?
Speaker 2 (08:16):
Is it gonna be able to like bounce missiles off
or or is it gonna be like lasers like the
Star Wars program that Ronald.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
Reagan was pushing. I don't know.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I have questions, and for my biggest question is how
much is it gonna cost those of us who pay
taxes in this country. That is a thought that concerns
me because if I have no money left after paying
my taxes to pay for the dome, then I don't
give a rats ask if I got a missile off
my head either way?
Speaker 1 (08:46):
Do you see where I'm going with this?
Speaker 3 (08:50):
But all kidding aside, this is just another example of
the the improv comedy show that is the sheer definition
of the Trump campaign. Is he gonna use a bunch
of lasers or is he actually gonna build a dome
over the country with him? You never know for certain,
but whatever, so let me just segue here onto the
(09:16):
Olympics in Paris. I really have not been watching the
games because I really don't care. But my understanding is
there was a certain amount of controversy at the opening ceremonies,
in which a group of drag queens performed a fashion
(09:38):
show that was a recreation of da Vinci's famous painting
known as The Last Supper. This performance included French actor
and singer Philippe Katerine I'm hoping I'm saying that correctly, who.
Speaker 4 (09:54):
Was painted all blue and appeared as the Greek god
Anicius while wearing only a bouquet of flowers to cover
his crotch.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
Some Christians and right wing radicals were outraged by the performance,
saying that it had overt pagan and Satanic symbolism and
was a supreme insult to the Last Supper. Thomas Jolly,
the artistic director of the opening ceremonies, said that the
(10:31):
opening was meant to show inclusion of people and not exclusion,
which is why they had that particular theme. He did
not realize it was going to be so offensive to
so many people.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Let me just say here, right here now, Viva la France,
Viva la France. Good for you, because you know what
they're trying to do here with this.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
The French were trying to shake up the status quo.
And that's exactly what they did.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
They ruffled some feathers. Well, too bad. Whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
You know, a lot of the right wing Christians and
the radicals, they're offended by almost everything. In fact, I
would not be surprised that if and when they fuck
their significant other, they probably wear all their clothes, or
they have the lights turn out, or they just don't
look because they're afraid of being offended by their own sexuality.
(11:27):
And let us not forget the rampage that Jerry Flowell
went on in nineteen ninety nine when he declared that
the Teletubbies were gonna cause your kids to become perverts.
In particular, the supposed gay teletubby Tinky Winky or whatever
his name was, was a supreme level of perversion for
(11:48):
your kids. Well, you know what, No children's Saturday morning
show character is gonna cause your kid to become a pervert,
all right, They're gonna do that quite nicely on their own,
probably with some help from that uncle that nobody wants around. Anyways,
So the bottom line here, a little message to my
out of control rant, is that Christians are gonna be offended.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
By any goddamn thing that comes their way. Get over it.
Let the Olympics have their fun.
Speaker 2 (12:16):
If they want to have a bunch of drag queens
portraying the Last Supper, then so be it.
Speaker 1 (12:21):
I'm sure Jesus would probably get a good laugh out
of it all. Really, So there enough said, let me
move on here.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
Anyways, I happen to notice this story that came out
in which the Ohio Supreme Court recently ruled that boneless
wings may in fact have some bones in them. This
monumental decision comes as a result of a restaurant patron
(12:56):
who suffered serious medical complications from getting a bone stuck
in his throat while eating wings that were touted as boneless.
This man subsequently filed a lawsuit for his injuries, and
eventually the lawsuit was thrown out by a lower court
(13:18):
and it went all.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
The way to the Supreme Court.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
On appeal, the Supreme Court justices declared that boneless wings
refers to a cooking style, and that since chickens in
fact have bones, there is no guarantee that boneless wings
may not have bones. I can't tell you how relieved
(13:43):
I am that the Ohio Supreme Court has informed us
and probably ruled that chickens do in fact have bones.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
But let me read to you.
Speaker 2 (13:59):
What Justice Deaters had to say on the subject, and quote.
A diner reading boneless wings on a menu would no
more believe that the restaurant was warranting the absence of
bones in the items and believe that the items were
made from chicken wings, just as a person eating chicken
(14:21):
fingers would know that he had not been served fingers.
Speaker 1 (14:31):
Dear God, I cannot believe what I just read here.
Speaker 2 (14:38):
So now that we have, with the assistance of the
Ohio Supreme Court, established that, I guess chickens don't have fingers,
and if you ordered chicken fingers, you're not gonna get
actual fingers. Forgive me for laughing. I know somebody here
suffered an injury because of all this, But come on, now,
(15:02):
it's time for a reality check. I'm guessing it's really
really slow these days in the Ohio judicial system.
Speaker 1 (15:09):
That hey, they would even.
Speaker 2 (15:10):
Hear this case in the first place, had secondly come
up with these resounding statements that will surely make the
law books for years to come. Okay, let me kind
of bottom line this for everybody here, because all of.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
This, what we're seeing, what we're reading, what.
Speaker 5 (15:30):
We're hearing, this is all the result of the fact
that we live in a world in which everything has
to be explained by justices of a Supreme court because
people are so goddamn dense.
Speaker 1 (15:47):
That's what this comes down.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
To, because you know what, there's no other logical explanation
for all this carrying on. Cases concerning mass murderers have
less attention drawn to them then the case of the
boneless chicken and what constant bones and a chicken and
fingers from a fucking chicken. So I'm sorry forgive me
(16:14):
for laughing, but this, this is right up there.
Speaker 1 (16:17):
With Oh God, I can just.
Speaker 2 (16:25):
See years from now, Harvard Law School will be teaching
an entire class on this very ruling from the Ohio
Supreme Court. Oh dear God, I need a drink.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
I guess my trustee, psychic Philip is on the other.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Side of the glass here in the studio getting my
nerve pills out for me. It's like, no, I'm good,
I don't need in your bills what I could use.
Speaker 1 (17:06):
It's a bulus chicken Christ, what a goddamn mess. Yes
it is. It is the end of civilization as we
know it. Least and gentlemen, you know what, you know what?
Speaker 2 (17:26):
The really sad part of all this is the fact
that the taxpayers in Ohio had to foot the bill
for this. That that's that's what's really so sad. But anyways, whatever,
oh dear God in.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
The in the in the.
Speaker 2 (17:49):
Closing moments here in this episode, I'm gonna touch on
a couple of things which recently irritated me. Of course,
everything irritates me, as you know, but I'm gonna tell
you about it. Anyways, two things recently, I stopped into
this this donut shop and Mechanicsburg known as Duck Donuts
and Duck Donuts.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
They make the.
Speaker 2 (18:09):
Donut right in front of you, so you can get
whatever toppings of the donut. You can choose them as
like twenty different toppings, a couple of different types of
donuts you can choose from.
Speaker 1 (18:19):
YadA, YadA, YadA. So I went in.
Speaker 2 (18:21):
I've never been in there before. I spent a lot
of time in that area, so I thought, let me
stop it and get a donut.
Speaker 1 (18:27):
See what it's like. I've heard good things about the donuts,
let me try it. So many I'm standing in line
and there's a woman in front of me.
Speaker 2 (18:32):
She's looking to get a donut or a couple of
donuts for someone at home. I guess because she calls
on her phone and she has this on speakerphone and
she's asking the person of the other end, Okay, I'm here,
what kind of donut do you want?
Speaker 1 (18:46):
What do you want on your donut?
Speaker 2 (18:48):
And it's like this non response. It's like weird noises,
like moving around, but nothing that's what you'd say as
any sort of response. So she's like, oh, hey, what
do you want? They got strawberry frosting, they got chocolate frosting,
and they got sprinkled toppings.
Speaker 1 (19:07):
What do you want?
Speaker 2 (19:08):
And again there's really no response. There's like noise. Now
it's like.
Speaker 1 (19:17):
So it's it sounds like.
Speaker 2 (19:20):
A Neanderthal taking a ship, but it's not telling her
what kind of donut this person wants. So she's she's
asking and go, okay, well they got they got apple
crumb topping, and they get this, and they get that,
and da da da da da, what.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
Do you want? What do you want? And there's like
still no answer here.
Speaker 2 (19:43):
So I don't know whether the the individual on the
other end of the line went into like a catatonic
state or whether the choice of what topping for a
donut is too much for this person's brain to handle.
But either way, this and I kid you not, this
little dissertation took close to five minutes.
Speaker 1 (20:07):
And before I finally left. Okay, because I'm getting old,
all right, I don't have a whole lot of time.
Speaker 2 (20:13):
Every time I look at my rear view mirror driving
down the road, I see the grim reapermobile closing.
Speaker 1 (20:18):
In on me.
Speaker 2 (20:20):
So I don't have time and life to waste on
somebody who can't decide what fucking donut they want. Make
a choice at least talk, don't make intelligible noises, unintelligible
noises like you. I mean, you can get a better
conversation out of a dung beetle. And like I said,
I just left. I went out the door and I
(20:42):
was gone. I'm not time for this level of stupidity.
Simple choices in life, we're not asking you to translate
the flight plan for the Apollo Moon missions here. No,
and it's not quite that complex. It should be like
a two or three second thought process and done.
Speaker 1 (21:00):
But no, it wasn't happening. And she's standing there.
Speaker 2 (21:03):
On her phone like, you know, I'm gonna hold up
everyone in line while you know, dumb ass on the
other end can't figure it out.
Speaker 1 (21:13):
But yeah, all right.
Speaker 2 (21:14):
And the other thing also involves standing in line. I
was at a store the other day and how many
times have you out? I'm sure how many people have
experienced this. You're in line and the person in front
of he was checking out and suddenly they're a little
short on their debit card, so they need to transfer funds.
Speaker 1 (21:31):
Now, some people can do this pretty quick.
Speaker 2 (21:33):
Some people can, you know, get on the phone and
you know, do the transfer and they're done.
Speaker 1 (21:36):
And god, no, no. The other day I get behind
a guy who needs to transfer.
Speaker 2 (21:40):
Funds obviously to his account, so he's gotta call somebody
to do this.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
He can't do it him, so he's gotta call it.
I guess it's his girlfriend or whatever.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
And I need I need like six dollars or thirty
five cents transferred over my card, and I gotta hear
the girl on the other end like, well, what you
fussting complaining like, well, yeah, I need I gotm the register,
I need I need six to thirty five. This this
goes on for, you know, a couple of minutes, and
(22:11):
the other one on the other end is trying to
figure out how to do this transfer the money. I'm
waiting again, wasting more time. I'm thinking about the miserable
episode of Duck Donuts. I'm still not recovered from that,
and now I gotta deal with this. It takes less
effort for the Federal Reserve to transfer millions of dollars
than it took for this idiot to get six dollars
and thirty five cents transferred to his card by his honey.
(22:35):
It got to the point where I was gonna say, hey, look,
here's six dollars and thirty five cents, take it and
have a good day.
Speaker 1 (22:42):
I need to get the hell out of here.
Speaker 2 (22:43):
I can't stand await for you to try to figure
out how to get money that you should have had
taken care of before you went to the store.
Speaker 1 (22:50):
It's called pre planning.
Speaker 2 (22:51):
Hello, dah, so I guess my point here is if
you go out in life and you do things, try
to be organized before you go out. Now, I know
a lot of these younger folks. I never thought i'd
to the day when I be talking like that, but
I am. I know a lot of these younger folks,
and in fact, i'm old ones, so who should know better.
Speaker 1 (23:14):
They have no.
Speaker 2 (23:15):
Concept of pre planning because when they're growing up, their
parents or whatever adults were overseeing them did everything for them.
So they just like kind of like meander through life,
and when it comes down to actually doing something, they're
not prepared. Even the simplest of tasks causes a problem.
(23:35):
So try to, just for the sake of us who
have to wait behind you in line somewhere, try to
be prepared when you get to your destination. Like if
you're gonna get somebody donuts, ask them before you go
what sort of donut they want. Don't wait you get
there and then call and you want hey hey. But anyways,
(23:59):
I think I've set enough for today and it is
soon time for me to sign off, which I'm going to.
I'd like to thank you all for taking the time
out of your busy day to listen to this podcast
and my few moments of uncontrol laughter.
Speaker 1 (24:13):
I hope that your day is going well. Please be
careful out there.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
If you get boneless chicken, make sure it is in
fact boneless. You don't want to wind up in front
of the Ohio Supreme Court with some sort of a case.
And until next time, also, please let me remind you again,
please feel free to subscribe to this podcast because I
don't know what you do in your life without me
in your life bitching to you about my life, so
(24:40):
so please feel free to subscribe.
Speaker 1 (24:42):
Is this available on most of those major platforms where
you listen or not listen?
Speaker 2 (24:47):
I don't know, I don't care, I don't get where
it's ask but please subscribe.
Speaker 1 (24:50):
Thank you for listening. Have a good day. You have
a lovely, lovely wife and a lovely life. Those two
go hand in hand. And until next time, so long
for now, bye bye
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.