April 22, 2025 • 26 mins
Breakfast cereal commercials; smorgasbord hijinks; taking a dump on the floor at Walmart; Trump pisses off the penguins and more outright shenanigans.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Greetings and welcome to the broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
So this morning I was eating my breakfast, which was
a bowl of cocoa puffs, a very big bowl of
cocoa puffs, and I got to thinking, remembering back when
I was a kid, there used to be like commercials
during the Saturday morning cartoons, and most of those commercials
were either for kids toys obviously geared to kids, right,
(00:28):
and or breakfast cereal. And they always showed this nice
little set up on the kitchen table with a little
brat eating the cereal. The kid would have toast and
juice and god only knows what else. And I would
tell you that the cereal was part of this complete breakfast,
But honestly, who did that? I know in my household
(00:53):
as a kid, we didn't do that. You got a
bowl of cereal.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You ate it, and you went on your way.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Who actually would make the toes to the jews and
the cereal? Well, I'm sure out there somewhere there's some
family that did that. Of course, this was probably more
or less to negate the fact that most of your
kids' cereals are nothing short of garbage. Okay, with all
the sugar and all the other bad stuff. Most of
(01:22):
the cereal out there is not what you call nutritious
by any stretch of the imagination. So the toast and
the jews was primant to balance out the toxic effects
of your Captain Crunch. So, and speaking of Captain Crunch,
if I may divert here a little bit, why didn't
why has he not been promoted to admiral? So just
(01:45):
I just die, I throw that out there. He's been
Captain Crunch for years and now he's never been an admiral.
Come on now, move the guy up. Okay, got the
guy a break. He's like three thousand years old, come on,
really so, But getting back to the subject at hand, No, No,
even as a.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Kid, I can remember thinking like who does this? Who
makes the toast?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
And it's interesting some of you are quote unquote. Adult
cereals will show the same thing, but it is usually coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That goes along with the cereal.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
So for adults, you obviously you wouldn't have coffee with
the kids, although as a kid I drank coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
But yeah, with the adult.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Cereals, the beverage choices are a little bit different, and
you know, it would be more realistic if they had
a bottle of jack to go along with the coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
That just me.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But if there was a perfect family out there that
would actually serve up all this for breakfast in your
a nice little, perfect life where nothing ever ever went wrong,
and they all smiled at each other constantly.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Eventually, you know, sooner or later Mommy.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Would come home and catch Daddy with the lady next
door in bed, and Mommy would take a hatchet to
Daddy's head, and that would end the perfect home life
that they have, and there would be no more toast
to make your complete breakfast.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Just saying.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
But while I'm on the subject of food, you know
that I have often been hypercritical of some of the
food choices as far as dining out here in York County,
well actually south central Pennsylvania, in that it's not very
good here. Okay, there are far better places in the
(03:40):
world and the country to dine out anywhere around York Pennsylvania,
because quite honestly, it's not that good some of the
places out there.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
The service is poor, the food is poor. It's just
a bad experience all around.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Now, there is this one establishment out in Lancaster County,
and if you're not from Pas most people say Lancaster,
which I used to do when I moved there, say Lancaster,
but apparently it's supposed to be pronounced Lancaster. I don't
know why, nor do I care. But there's this one
(04:14):
eating establishment. It's at All you can Eat is Morgas Board.
So you go in there and there's like this whole
row of food and the warmers and stuff that you
get your food.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
You can eat all you want.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
However, however, this place is a little unusual in that
they're they're very religious, okay, and you know how I
am with religion, of course, right and as you if
you're standing in line, because normally there's a line to
get into this place because it is quite popular. I'm
not going to mention the name, but anyone from around
here knows what I'm talking about. There's these little signs,
(04:52):
well there's actually a little signs everywhere in this place.
It's a constant sermon no matter where you go. But
there is a side that says eat all that you want,
but if you take any food from the premises, it
will be considered shoplifting. Okay, well, all right, First of all,
(05:15):
it's like twenty dollars a person to eat in this place.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Okay, friend and I went there the other day, and.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It's like close to sixty bucks by time, all of
a sudden and done. And so I'm paying for this
food if I want to take a chicken leg with
me to bring home to my dog. Well, I don't
see what the promise. I already paid for it. Okay,
it's not like I'm not stealing it technically, No, what's
(05:47):
the deal? And I would think that they'd have a
hard time enforcing this, and I'm sure this is not
the only buffet that.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Has that rule on the wall.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
But the point of the matter is, I've already spent
money on this stuff, and technically the food is leaving
there one way or another in my belly. Okay, Now,
if you want, I can stop on the steps and
ship it out, so the food doesn't really leave the
premises if we're gonna push it to that degree. But
(06:18):
and then there's a few other signs, and it shows
a picture of a little kid eyeing up a whole
tray of food, and the sign reads.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Take all that you want, but eat all that you take.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
So what are they gonna do if you leave like
a little bit of mashed potatoes on your plate. Are
they gonna have you arrested for that too? Come on,
give me a break. All I can imagine is they
probably have food cops in there, Like do you remember
the original WKRP in Cincinnati when doctor Johnny Fever was
(06:55):
terrorized terrified of the of the phone cops. The cops
the phone company allegedly have. Well, that's what I imagine here.
I imagine this place has food cops that come rushing
out in full combat riot gear and they take you
away if you either sneak food out or if you
don't eat everything that's on your plate. So, and to
(07:18):
add to the ambiance of being in lockdown, they have
on the ceiling they have cameras everywhere. The local casino
has fewer cameras in the ceiling than.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
This place does.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
And where we are sitting the other the other day
when we were there, I looked up and I counted
there was eight cameras within i'd say fifty foot radius
of actually probably less than that, probably more like twenty
five or thirty feet of a radius around our table.
On the ceiling, there's that many cameras. So I don't
(07:53):
know if anyone's actually watching the cameras or not. But
they have security everywhere. And here's the thing of it.
At one point in time, this place was the bomb.
It was the place to go. But lately, the last
few times that I've been there, the food is not
that been that good. It's either been cold when you
(08:17):
get it, it's not as warm as it should be,
which can technically be a health hazard of food is
and kept at a certain temperature. And it's just I
don't know the ambiance of constantly being threatened with, you know,
legal consequences of you so much as look sideways at
somebody or whatever, kind of as a downer. And at
(08:37):
one point the other night when I was there, I
decided to get up and go to the bathroom and
take a shit. So I go in the stall to
sit down, and there is this huge pile of puke
on the floor next to the toilet. I'm guessing somebody
felt they probably shouldn't leave the premises with the food, right, so.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
He just decide that Jack and lee with there.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
But that kind of a killed my appetite at that
point in time. It was really it ruined a good
bowel movement for me. So you know, here I got
to squeeze the turn back of my ass and none
of the other stalls are available, which I can understand
why that one was available.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
It was just a bad restroom experience to add to
a somewhat mediocre dining experience.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
However, I will.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Say this, this one night we went there. They're having
different theme nights now, and we went for the seafood
night because they had said they had stated they had
steam clams, which they did, and the clams were good.
Now I'm in New Englander, so I know my clams, okay, so,
and these clams were decent.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
They were kind of little, but they were still good.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But what amazed me is as you go up to
the buffet line, there's this grill area where the the
so called chef was making my mahi tuna, which was horrible.
It was tough, it was almost inedible. The one that
I got tuna, I was making salmon whatever. So I
(10:14):
went up and I asked the two of them, the
chef or the woman that was with him, where the
clams work. So I thought that clams might have been there,
and neither one of them had a clue that they
were serving clams. Now, when you walk twenty feet to
the left and you go to the buffet line. There
there was like several trays of clams. They had to
(10:36):
be close to any given time, eight hundred clams there.
And yet these two rocket scientists who were overcooking the
mahi tuna did not know that there was fucking clams nearby,
so which really almost set me into a rage, because
that's why I went there, was for the clams, and
they're telling me, oh, there's no clams that we know
of them. I was gonna bring a clam back over
(11:00):
to the guy and hold it to his nose the hair.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
This is a clam. Okay, they're all over here on
a case. You didn't know. But whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
So now at this point you're probably wondering if there's
a point here to my little rant about this smorgas
board in Leicester County, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Well, there really is no point.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I just decided I want to talk about it because
I'm fucked up on the head, as you all know. So,
but whatever I'm hoping, I gotta try going back there.
Their breakfast buffet is outstanding, or at least it was,
I don't know what. It's probably just as bad as
everything else now, So I'm gotta try that and maybe
that'll be a little bit better than what I've experienced
(11:40):
with the dinner offerings there as of late. But again,
they did have the clams, which made me quite happy,
so it wasn't a complete disaster. But before I segue
from this particular discussion, I would like to touch back
upon the subject of someone who might happened to snak
(12:00):
sneak out a little bit of food to take home
to the dogs.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
In my opinion, and.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
In my opinion it is the height of greed for
these people to even post that, because we did some
quick math when we arrived there, there was a line
of probably three hundred people waiting to get in, all right,
and my friend and I who she used to work
in food and beverage, so she knows figures about the
(12:31):
stuff backwards and forest, we did some quick math of
what they charge per person, how many people were there,
and how much money they're going to make and that
span of time, and then you figure it out as
to how much they're making and figuring figuring it out
they're making buku bucks in that place because they're busy
like that all the time, and here they are making
(12:51):
all this money, and there they got all their religious
sayings on the walls, you know, thank.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Jesus for being able to eat here.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
And again, don't take the food, and the food cops
will get you and execute you on the spot. But
so they're they're they're making all this money and they
they're they're they're threatening you for taking out, you know,
a drumstick of checking with you.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
All right.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I know it's probably not right to do that about
it in endorsing or condoning, condoning bad behavior, but give
me a break, all right, the amount of money they're
pulling in, and this place has been around since nineteen
eighty five, so you know it's bought and paid for. Okay,
I doubt if they have a mortgage anymore. Right, So
they just have their basic operational costs and that's about it.
(13:43):
The food is not gonna cost them a lot of money,
so they're making a lot of profit on this stuff.
It's like really, and it's just the height of greed
and and and just just total gluttony.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
That's what that well buffet is all about. Glutting.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Anyways, you sit there and pig yourself out like an
ungodly fiend, So I thought I would just add that
in just for shits and giggles running up the flagpole,
see who salutes it whatever, just saying so it is
the Easter time of the year, time of the Easter
(14:24):
Buddy to come around and drop off all those delicious
candies in the Easter basket and do his thing. Normally,
all go to an Easter dinner that is hosted by
a friend of mine, and which well I'm kind of
surprised I still get an invite because I usually tend
to ruin the mood for everybody at the table.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Such was the case.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
One year when I suddenly, out of nowhere, while eating
my ham, declared that Christ was actually teleported out of
the tomb by aliens. Well that kind of went over
like a turn in the punch bowl, as you can
well imagine. I don't know what I'm gonna come up
(15:07):
with this year, but I'm sure it should be delightful
and wonderful for all the guests in attendance. Also, this year,
I've noticed there's an abundance of something called adult Easter
egg hunts. Now, you know you we're all familiar with
the Easter egg hunts for kids, but now there's a
big thing going on where they're having egg hunts for adults,
(15:31):
and most of them are being done at night with flashlights,
which makes you wonder what the hell is in these
Easter eggs they're looking for, probably jello shots or something.
But here you have a bunch of grown people going
around with flashlights. Most of the flashlights are like halfway dim,
like the people themselves looking for Easter eggs in the
(15:52):
Usually it's like a park, or there was one park
near my home. They're doing this, and there's a like
some woods there, so I'm sure someone's gonna get lost
in the woods and have to be rescued at some
point during the during the egg hunt.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
But whatever, and.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
However you celebrate the Easter holiday, please enjoy and remember
the aliens did teleport Christ out.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Of the tomb.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But moving right along here, I've noticed, scrolling through my
social social media feeds and all that good stuff online
and through the headlines, there seems to be this strange
abundance of people lately who like will take a shit
on the floor in the grocery store when they're in there,
(16:39):
or in Walmart. They'll relieve themselves just out of the
clear blue. I don't know whether whether they don't realize
there's actually a bathroom in most of these stores or what.
But like the the one video of this one woman
who just she's in a dress and she just stops
in the middle of the produce aisle and unloads like
three big turns on the floor and just keeps on it.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Going like nothing ever happened.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Then there was a guy at bass Pro shops who
had a massive attack of diarrhea, and the video shows
him walking along with a trail of liquid shit coming
out of his pant.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Leg on the floor.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
As he goes It's like, sir, do you not realize
you just took a dump in your pants and it's
running down your pant leg. Maybe he doesn't realize that,
I don't know, or maybe he just didn't care, or
maybe he gets off on that sort of thing, one
of those weird fetishes. But I've mentioned this before, I'll
(17:38):
mention it again. Years ago that banned Devoir. Their idea
was that human civilization was de evolving.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And as I pointed out, they were exactly right.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
This is what's happening when people just suddenly take a
dump in the grocery store. We're going back to our
our primate ancestors who would be walking along in the
forest and just suddenly take a shit and just keep
on going. That's what's happening to humans. We're getting so
backward that we just just gonna take a dump right
(18:12):
here in the cereal aisle because it's part of a
complete breakfast and go on with my day. You know,
whatever you do, try not to shit in the grocery.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Store or in Walmart or any.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Other public place just because you're either a too lazy
to go to the bathroom. B you don't know really
there is a bathroom, or c you're just not potty trained.
Try to do it outside somewhere in the trees or whatnot.
But I guess people just don't realize what they're doing
how to time. Maybe that's the problem. But it's kind
(18:50):
of like changing gears here a little bit. It's like
that video of that woman down in Florida who crashed
her I think it was a BMW right into a
Popeye's restaurant, And now Popeyes the service is kind of
shitty in most Popeyes, so I can see why someone
would crash the vehicle into the place. But this particular
(19:12):
Popeyes was not open yet. It was early in the morning.
She went barreling across the road, crashed right into the store,
and she gets out. She's okay, but she decides she's
just gonna leave. You know, there's a guy there talking
with her, and she's like, well, I gotta go, I
can't be here, and and just takes off.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
You know, you crash your vehicle.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Into into a building, into private property and destroy it,
and you just leave, like nobody's not going to be
able to a TRACE's video that everyone's shooting up her
doing this or b they're not gonna be able to
trace your licensed plate number and find out who you
are eventually. Okay, it's called it's called leaving the scene
(19:52):
of an accident, all right, And that's a relatively serious offense.
You know, this is when I talk about jay walking. Here,
we're we're talking about a relatively serious problem. But she
just didn't seem to quite grasp the gravity of the situation.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Well, the gravity was when her car went to the
wall of the building. That's the gravity.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
But you know, I don't think this bitch, even though
a gravity is all right, so just walk away, not
a problem.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I don't want to be here. I can't be here.
I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
So yeah, ye had Devo was right?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
They were right spot on.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Oh yeah. But anyways, moving right along here, I would
now like to take a moment to recognize yet another
stroke of brilliance on the part of the train wreck
that is known as the Trump administration, in that.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
A few weeks ago, Trump decided to.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Enact tariffs upon an island or islands in the Antarctic.
And these islands are mostly populated by penguins and seals. Yes,
ladies and gentlemen, and yet another brilliant move to make
America great again. We're gonna make the penguins pay their
(21:18):
fair share in tariffs, yes you, oh.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, but here here.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Here's the thing of it that has been pointed out
by a number of people. You know, Trump won't hesitate
to slap some tariffs on some penguins, but he is
yet to really tighten the screws on Russia. So far,
Russia has kind of come through this relatively unscathed. While
(21:46):
everyone else in the world, including penguins, are getting tariffs,
Russia is getting basically a free pass. Now, of course,
we all know that Putin and Trump are good buddies,
so that probably has something to do with it.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But anyways, so.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I guess the penguins are really pissed off and the
seals aren't much happier about all this and whatever.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Now, I know, normally.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
On this podcast I'll devote like the first ten or
fifty minutes just to talking about Trump. I decided to
stick this at the tail end of this broadcast because
there's so much god damn bullshit coming out of the
Trump presidency it's tough to keep up with it. Now
you can do an entire three hour podcast just on
the incredible amount of stupidity that is currently coming out
(22:39):
of the White House.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
But what do I know?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Right, so, it is almost time for me to wrap
this up and scurry out the door.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I know I've been a.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Little miss lately and putting out some new episodes. I've
been busy with a couple other projects. Hopefully I'll get
back on track with a weekly episode here of the podcast.
I know I've said that before, right, But before I go,
I would like to touch upon a subject which those
of you know that I can sometimes be hyper critical
(23:15):
of those in power, particularly in law enforcement.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Those rare cases where you you know.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
You get a bad cop out there, and I usually
try to speak on the subject, well, I'd like to
tell this time around, I tell a story of a
good cop. And this is from my own personal experience
wherein I was in uh Dunkin Donuts in uh Well,
Tendanly is dover right on the Dover York line here
(23:42):
in Pennsylvania, getting my morning coffee.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I was at the drive through.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
And there was a police vehicle in front of me
from the West Manchester Township Police Department, which is basically
right down the road from there. And so I'm, you know,
going through and I placed my order and we're in line,
and then the cop goes up and gets his stuff
and then he goes about his very way, and of
(24:07):
course I was right behind him. I go up to
the window and the guys, you know, he hands me
my coffee and I go to hand them money, and
he says, no, it's all good.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
The cop took care of it for you.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So, as we all know, that's referred to as paying
it forward, and it was something that I appreciated. I
was having a crappy morning at that point. Of course,
most of my mornings are crappy, and that kind of
turned my attitude towards the good. Was just out of
the clear blue, someone who doesn't even know me decides
(24:41):
to pay for my coffee, which I appreciated.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
And paying it forward is.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Something you know that should be done more often. If
you're in a grocery store, pay for the guy behind
you or whatever. You know he's just getting a couple
of things or the same thing. If you're gonna drive
up or whatever, pay for the guy behind you. And
that's what this officer did for me. And again I
greatly appreciated whoever, whoever the officer was that day with
(25:08):
the West Manchester Township Police Department. Thank you very much.
It was a very good gesture. And that's that's a
good cop right there. That's a good cop. And on
that happy note, it is now time for me to
wrap up this episode of the podcast. Like to thank
you for taking the time to listen. I also want
(25:30):
to remind you that it is free to subscribe to
this auditory circus until next time. Please be careful out there,
be nice. Pay it forward if you can, if you're
in line, pay for the guy behind you and make
someone's day. Make the world a little bit of a
(25:50):
brighter place. So until next time, So long for now,
bye bye,
Greetings and welcome to the broadcast.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
So this morning I was eating my breakfast, which was
a bowl of cocoa puffs, a very big bowl of
cocoa puffs, and I got to thinking, remembering back when
I was a kid, there used to be like commercials
during the Saturday morning cartoons, and most of those commercials
were either for kids toys obviously geared to kids, right,
(00:28):
and or breakfast cereal. And they always showed this nice
little set up on the kitchen table with a little
brat eating the cereal. The kid would have toast and
juice and god only knows what else. And I would
tell you that the cereal was part of this complete breakfast,
But honestly, who did that? I know in my household
(00:53):
as a kid, we didn't do that. You got a
bowl of cereal.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
You ate it, and you went on your way.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Who actually would make the toes to the jews and
the cereal? Well, I'm sure out there somewhere there's some
family that did that. Of course, this was probably more
or less to negate the fact that most of your
kids' cereals are nothing short of garbage. Okay, with all
the sugar and all the other bad stuff. Most of
(01:22):
the cereal out there is not what you call nutritious
by any stretch of the imagination. So the toast and
the jews was primant to balance out the toxic effects
of your Captain Crunch. So, and speaking of Captain Crunch,
if I may divert here a little bit, why didn't
why has he not been promoted to admiral? So just
(01:45):
I just die, I throw that out there. He's been
Captain Crunch for years and now he's never been an admiral.
Come on now, move the guy up. Okay, got the
guy a break. He's like three thousand years old, come on,
really so, But getting back to the subject at hand, No, No,
even as a.
Speaker 1 (02:03):
Kid, I can remember thinking like who does this? Who
makes the toast?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
And it's interesting some of you are quote unquote. Adult
cereals will show the same thing, but it is usually coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
That goes along with the cereal.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
So for adults, you obviously you wouldn't have coffee with
the kids, although as a kid I drank coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:27):
But yeah, with the adult.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Cereals, the beverage choices are a little bit different, and
you know, it would be more realistic if they had
a bottle of jack to go along with the coffee.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
That just me.
Speaker 2 (02:40):
But if there was a perfect family out there that
would actually serve up all this for breakfast in your
a nice little, perfect life where nothing ever ever went wrong,
and they all smiled at each other constantly.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
Eventually, you know, sooner or later Mommy.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
Would come home and catch Daddy with the lady next
door in bed, and Mommy would take a hatchet to
Daddy's head, and that would end the perfect home life
that they have, and there would be no more toast
to make your complete breakfast.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Just saying.
Speaker 2 (03:17):
But while I'm on the subject of food, you know
that I have often been hypercritical of some of the
food choices as far as dining out here in York County,
well actually south central Pennsylvania, in that it's not very
good here. Okay, there are far better places in the
(03:40):
world and the country to dine out anywhere around York Pennsylvania,
because quite honestly, it's not that good some of the
places out there.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
The service is poor, the food is poor. It's just
a bad experience all around.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Now, there is this one establishment out in Lancaster County,
and if you're not from Pas most people say Lancaster,
which I used to do when I moved there, say Lancaster,
but apparently it's supposed to be pronounced Lancaster. I don't
know why, nor do I care. But there's this one
(04:14):
eating establishment. It's at All you can Eat is Morgas Board.
So you go in there and there's like this whole
row of food and the warmers and stuff that you
get your food.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
You can eat all you want.
Speaker 2 (04:29):
However, however, this place is a little unusual in that
they're they're very religious, okay, and you know how I
am with religion, of course, right and as you if
you're standing in line, because normally there's a line to
get into this place because it is quite popular. I'm
not going to mention the name, but anyone from around
here knows what I'm talking about. There's these little signs,
(04:52):
well there's actually a little signs everywhere in this place.
It's a constant sermon no matter where you go. But
there is a side that says eat all that you want,
but if you take any food from the premises, it
will be considered shoplifting. Okay, well, all right, First of all,
(05:15):
it's like twenty dollars a person to eat in this place.
Speaker 1 (05:19):
Okay, friend and I went there the other day, and.
Speaker 2 (05:22):
It's like close to sixty bucks by time, all of
a sudden and done. And so I'm paying for this
food if I want to take a chicken leg with
me to bring home to my dog. Well, I don't
see what the promise. I already paid for it. Okay,
it's not like I'm not stealing it technically, No, what's
(05:47):
the deal? And I would think that they'd have a
hard time enforcing this, and I'm sure this is not
the only buffet that.
Speaker 1 (05:53):
Has that rule on the wall.
Speaker 2 (05:55):
But the point of the matter is, I've already spent
money on this stuff, and technically the food is leaving
there one way or another in my belly. Okay, Now,
if you want, I can stop on the steps and
ship it out, so the food doesn't really leave the
premises if we're gonna push it to that degree. But
(06:18):
and then there's a few other signs, and it shows
a picture of a little kid eyeing up a whole
tray of food, and the sign reads.
Speaker 1 (06:28):
Take all that you want, but eat all that you take.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
So what are they gonna do if you leave like
a little bit of mashed potatoes on your plate. Are
they gonna have you arrested for that too? Come on,
give me a break. All I can imagine is they
probably have food cops in there, Like do you remember
the original WKRP in Cincinnati when doctor Johnny Fever was
(06:55):
terrorized terrified of the of the phone cops. The cops
the phone company allegedly have. Well, that's what I imagine here.
I imagine this place has food cops that come rushing
out in full combat riot gear and they take you
away if you either sneak food out or if you
don't eat everything that's on your plate. So, and to
(07:18):
add to the ambiance of being in lockdown, they have
on the ceiling they have cameras everywhere. The local casino
has fewer cameras in the ceiling than.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
This place does.
Speaker 2 (07:32):
And where we are sitting the other the other day
when we were there, I looked up and I counted
there was eight cameras within i'd say fifty foot radius
of actually probably less than that, probably more like twenty
five or thirty feet of a radius around our table.
On the ceiling, there's that many cameras. So I don't
(07:53):
know if anyone's actually watching the cameras or not. But
they have security everywhere. And here's the thing of it.
At one point in time, this place was the bomb.
It was the place to go. But lately, the last
few times that I've been there, the food is not
that been that good. It's either been cold when you
(08:17):
get it, it's not as warm as it should be,
which can technically be a health hazard of food is
and kept at a certain temperature. And it's just I
don't know the ambiance of constantly being threatened with, you know,
legal consequences of you so much as look sideways at
somebody or whatever, kind of as a downer. And at
(08:37):
one point the other night when I was there, I
decided to get up and go to the bathroom and
take a shit. So I go in the stall to
sit down, and there is this huge pile of puke
on the floor next to the toilet. I'm guessing somebody
felt they probably shouldn't leave the premises with the food, right, so.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
He just decide that Jack and lee with there.
Speaker 2 (09:02):
But that kind of a killed my appetite at that
point in time. It was really it ruined a good
bowel movement for me. So you know, here I got
to squeeze the turn back of my ass and none
of the other stalls are available, which I can understand
why that one was available.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Right.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
It was just a bad restroom experience to add to
a somewhat mediocre dining experience.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
However, I will.
Speaker 2 (09:31):
Say this, this one night we went there. They're having
different theme nights now, and we went for the seafood
night because they had said they had stated they had
steam clams, which they did, and the clams were good.
Now I'm in New Englander, so I know my clams, okay, so,
and these clams were decent.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
They were kind of little, but they were still good.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
But what amazed me is as you go up to
the buffet line, there's this grill area where the the
so called chef was making my mahi tuna, which was horrible.
It was tough, it was almost inedible. The one that
I got tuna, I was making salmon whatever. So I
(10:14):
went up and I asked the two of them, the
chef or the woman that was with him, where the
clams work. So I thought that clams might have been there,
and neither one of them had a clue that they
were serving clams. Now, when you walk twenty feet to
the left and you go to the buffet line. There
there was like several trays of clams. They had to
(10:36):
be close to any given time, eight hundred clams there.
And yet these two rocket scientists who were overcooking the
mahi tuna did not know that there was fucking clams nearby,
so which really almost set me into a rage, because
that's why I went there, was for the clams, and
they're telling me, oh, there's no clams that we know
of them. I was gonna bring a clam back over
(11:00):
to the guy and hold it to his nose the hair.
Speaker 1 (11:02):
This is a clam. Okay, they're all over here on
a case. You didn't know. But whatever.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
So now at this point you're probably wondering if there's
a point here to my little rant about this smorgas
board in Leicester County, Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1 (11:18):
Well, there really is no point.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
I just decided I want to talk about it because
I'm fucked up on the head, as you all know. So,
but whatever I'm hoping, I gotta try going back there.
Their breakfast buffet is outstanding, or at least it was,
I don't know what. It's probably just as bad as
everything else now, So I'm gotta try that and maybe
that'll be a little bit better than what I've experienced
(11:40):
with the dinner offerings there as of late. But again,
they did have the clams, which made me quite happy,
so it wasn't a complete disaster. But before I segue
from this particular discussion, I would like to touch back
upon the subject of someone who might happened to snak
(12:00):
sneak out a little bit of food to take home
to the dogs.
Speaker 1 (12:06):
In my opinion, and.
Speaker 2 (12:09):
In my opinion it is the height of greed for
these people to even post that, because we did some
quick math when we arrived there, there was a line
of probably three hundred people waiting to get in, all right,
and my friend and I who she used to work
in food and beverage, so she knows figures about the
(12:31):
stuff backwards and forest, we did some quick math of
what they charge per person, how many people were there,
and how much money they're going to make and that
span of time, and then you figure it out as
to how much they're making and figuring figuring it out
they're making buku bucks in that place because they're busy
like that all the time, and here they are making
(12:51):
all this money, and there they got all their religious
sayings on the walls, you know, thank.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
Jesus for being able to eat here.
Speaker 2 (13:01):
And again, don't take the food, and the food cops
will get you and execute you on the spot. But
so they're they're they're making all this money and they
they're they're they're threatening you for taking out, you know,
a drumstick of checking with you.
Speaker 1 (13:19):
All right.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
I know it's probably not right to do that about
it in endorsing or condoning, condoning bad behavior, but give
me a break, all right, the amount of money they're
pulling in, and this place has been around since nineteen
eighty five, so you know it's bought and paid for. Okay,
I doubt if they have a mortgage anymore. Right, So
they just have their basic operational costs and that's about it.
(13:43):
The food is not gonna cost them a lot of money,
so they're making a lot of profit on this stuff.
It's like really, and it's just the height of greed
and and and just just total gluttony.
Speaker 1 (13:59):
That's what that well buffet is all about. Glutting.
Speaker 2 (14:01):
Anyways, you sit there and pig yourself out like an
ungodly fiend, So I thought I would just add that
in just for shits and giggles running up the flagpole,
see who salutes it whatever, just saying so it is
the Easter time of the year, time of the Easter
(14:24):
Buddy to come around and drop off all those delicious
candies in the Easter basket and do his thing. Normally,
all go to an Easter dinner that is hosted by
a friend of mine, and which well I'm kind of
surprised I still get an invite because I usually tend
to ruin the mood for everybody at the table.
Speaker 1 (14:44):
Such was the case.
Speaker 2 (14:46):
One year when I suddenly, out of nowhere, while eating
my ham, declared that Christ was actually teleported out of
the tomb by aliens. Well that kind of went over
like a turn in the punch bowl, as you can
well imagine. I don't know what I'm gonna come up
(15:07):
with this year, but I'm sure it should be delightful
and wonderful for all the guests in attendance. Also, this year,
I've noticed there's an abundance of something called adult Easter
egg hunts. Now, you know you we're all familiar with
the Easter egg hunts for kids, but now there's a
big thing going on where they're having egg hunts for adults,
(15:31):
and most of them are being done at night with flashlights,
which makes you wonder what the hell is in these
Easter eggs they're looking for, probably jello shots or something.
But here you have a bunch of grown people going
around with flashlights. Most of the flashlights are like halfway dim,
like the people themselves looking for Easter eggs in the
(15:52):
Usually it's like a park, or there was one park
near my home. They're doing this, and there's a like
some woods there, so I'm sure someone's gonna get lost
in the woods and have to be rescued at some
point during the during the egg hunt.
Speaker 1 (16:06):
But whatever, and.
Speaker 2 (16:07):
However you celebrate the Easter holiday, please enjoy and remember
the aliens did teleport Christ out.
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Of the tomb.
Speaker 2 (16:17):
But moving right along here, I've noticed, scrolling through my
social social media feeds and all that good stuff online
and through the headlines, there seems to be this strange
abundance of people lately who like will take a shit
on the floor in the grocery store when they're in there,
(16:39):
or in Walmart. They'll relieve themselves just out of the
clear blue. I don't know whether whether they don't realize
there's actually a bathroom in most of these stores or what.
But like the the one video of this one woman
who just she's in a dress and she just stops
in the middle of the produce aisle and unloads like
three big turns on the floor and just keeps on it.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Going like nothing ever happened.
Speaker 2 (17:05):
Then there was a guy at bass Pro shops who
had a massive attack of diarrhea, and the video shows
him walking along with a trail of liquid shit coming
out of his pant.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
Leg on the floor.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
As he goes It's like, sir, do you not realize
you just took a dump in your pants and it's
running down your pant leg. Maybe he doesn't realize that,
I don't know, or maybe he just didn't care, or
maybe he gets off on that sort of thing, one
of those weird fetishes. But I've mentioned this before, I'll
(17:38):
mention it again. Years ago that banned Devoir. Their idea
was that human civilization was de evolving.
Speaker 1 (17:47):
And as I pointed out, they were exactly right.
Speaker 2 (17:51):
This is what's happening when people just suddenly take a
dump in the grocery store. We're going back to our
our primate ancestors who would be walking along in the
forest and just suddenly take a shit and just keep
on going. That's what's happening to humans. We're getting so
backward that we just just gonna take a dump right
(18:12):
here in the cereal aisle because it's part of a
complete breakfast and go on with my day. You know,
whatever you do, try not to shit in the grocery.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
Store or in Walmart or any.
Speaker 2 (18:30):
Other public place just because you're either a too lazy
to go to the bathroom. B you don't know really
there is a bathroom, or c you're just not potty trained.
Try to do it outside somewhere in the trees or whatnot.
But I guess people just don't realize what they're doing
how to time. Maybe that's the problem. But it's kind
(18:50):
of like changing gears here a little bit. It's like
that video of that woman down in Florida who crashed
her I think it was a BMW right into a
Popeye's restaurant, And now Popeyes the service is kind of
shitty in most Popeyes, so I can see why someone
would crash the vehicle into the place. But this particular
(19:12):
Popeyes was not open yet. It was early in the morning.
She went barreling across the road, crashed right into the store,
and she gets out. She's okay, but she decides she's
just gonna leave. You know, there's a guy there talking
with her, and she's like, well, I gotta go, I
can't be here, and and just takes off.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
You know, you crash your vehicle.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Into into a building, into private property and destroy it,
and you just leave, like nobody's not going to be
able to a TRACE's video that everyone's shooting up her
doing this or b they're not gonna be able to
trace your licensed plate number and find out who you
are eventually. Okay, it's called it's called leaving the scene
(19:52):
of an accident, all right, And that's a relatively serious offense.
You know, this is when I talk about jay walking. Here,
we're we're talking about a relatively serious problem. But she
just didn't seem to quite grasp the gravity of the situation.
Speaker 1 (20:08):
Well, the gravity was when her car went to the
wall of the building. That's the gravity.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
But you know, I don't think this bitch, even though
a gravity is all right, so just walk away, not
a problem.
Speaker 1 (20:19):
I don't want to be here. I can't be here.
I gotta go.
Speaker 2 (20:22):
So yeah, ye had Devo was right?
Speaker 1 (20:27):
They were right spot on.
Speaker 2 (20:29):
Oh yeah. But anyways, moving right along here, I would
now like to take a moment to recognize yet another
stroke of brilliance on the part of the train wreck
that is known as the Trump administration, in that.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
A few weeks ago, Trump decided to.
Speaker 2 (20:55):
Enact tariffs upon an island or islands in the Antarctic.
And these islands are mostly populated by penguins and seals. Yes,
ladies and gentlemen, and yet another brilliant move to make
America great again. We're gonna make the penguins pay their
(21:18):
fair share in tariffs, yes you, oh.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, but here here.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
Here's the thing of it that has been pointed out
by a number of people. You know, Trump won't hesitate
to slap some tariffs on some penguins, but he is
yet to really tighten the screws on Russia. So far,
Russia has kind of come through this relatively unscathed. While
(21:46):
everyone else in the world, including penguins, are getting tariffs,
Russia is getting basically a free pass. Now, of course,
we all know that Putin and Trump are good buddies,
so that probably has something to do with it.
Speaker 1 (22:03):
But anyways, so.
Speaker 2 (22:07):
I guess the penguins are really pissed off and the
seals aren't much happier about all this and whatever.
Speaker 1 (22:14):
Now, I know, normally.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
On this podcast I'll devote like the first ten or
fifty minutes just to talking about Trump. I decided to
stick this at the tail end of this broadcast because
there's so much god damn bullshit coming out of the
Trump presidency it's tough to keep up with it. Now
you can do an entire three hour podcast just on
the incredible amount of stupidity that is currently coming out
(22:39):
of the White House.
Speaker 1 (22:40):
But what do I know?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
Right, so, it is almost time for me to wrap
this up and scurry out the door.
Speaker 1 (22:52):
I know I've been a.
Speaker 2 (22:53):
Little miss lately and putting out some new episodes. I've
been busy with a couple other projects. Hopefully I'll get
back on track with a weekly episode here of the podcast.
I know I've said that before, right, But before I go,
I would like to touch upon a subject which those
of you know that I can sometimes be hyper critical
(23:15):
of those in power, particularly in law enforcement.
Speaker 1 (23:19):
Those rare cases where you you know.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
You get a bad cop out there, and I usually
try to speak on the subject, well, I'd like to
tell this time around, I tell a story of a
good cop. And this is from my own personal experience
wherein I was in uh Dunkin Donuts in uh Well,
Tendanly is dover right on the Dover York line here
(23:42):
in Pennsylvania, getting my morning coffee.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
I was at the drive through.
Speaker 2 (23:47):
And there was a police vehicle in front of me
from the West Manchester Township Police Department, which is basically
right down the road from there. And so I'm, you know,
going through and I placed my order and we're in line,
and then the cop goes up and gets his stuff
and then he goes about his very way, and of
(24:07):
course I was right behind him. I go up to
the window and the guys, you know, he hands me
my coffee and I go to hand them money, and
he says, no, it's all good.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
The cop took care of it for you.
Speaker 2 (24:19):
So, as we all know, that's referred to as paying
it forward, and it was something that I appreciated. I
was having a crappy morning at that point. Of course,
most of my mornings are crappy, and that kind of
turned my attitude towards the good. Was just out of
the clear blue, someone who doesn't even know me decides
(24:41):
to pay for my coffee, which I appreciated.
Speaker 1 (24:44):
And paying it forward is.
Speaker 2 (24:46):
Something you know that should be done more often. If
you're in a grocery store, pay for the guy behind
you or whatever. You know he's just getting a couple
of things or the same thing. If you're gonna drive
up or whatever, pay for the guy behind you. And
that's what this officer did for me. And again I
greatly appreciated whoever, whoever the officer was that day with
(25:08):
the West Manchester Township Police Department. Thank you very much.
It was a very good gesture. And that's that's a
good cop right there. That's a good cop. And on
that happy note, it is now time for me to
wrap up this episode of the podcast. Like to thank
you for taking the time to listen. I also want
(25:30):
to remind you that it is free to subscribe to
this auditory circus until next time. Please be careful out there,
be nice. Pay it forward if you can, if you're
in line, pay for the guy behind you and make
someone's day. Make the world a little bit of a
(25:50):
brighter place. So until next time, So long for now,
bye bye,
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