October 3, 2025 • 25 mins
Trump’s escalator adventure; the Department of War; Right Wing fellatio; the Rapture and more on this splendid example of verbal chaos
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Readings and welcome to the broadcast. So, on his recent
trip to the United Nations, Donald Trump and Millennia got
stuck while going up on an escalator that suddenly stopped working. Well,
I guess in the end, the two of them actually
(00:23):
had to walk the rest of their way up the escalator,
which apparently was a very traumatizing event for both Trump
and his first lady wife. In the aftermath of the
horrible escalator incident, Trump has vowed that there will be
an investigation and somebody will be arrested. The President is
(00:46):
convinced that it was sabotage, and the guilty parties shall
be brought to justice. And I'm sure the investigation will
be headed up by that incompetent Boob cash Patel who
runs the FBI, or well he says he runs the FBI,
But I'm sure that's how it's going to go down.
(01:06):
And if and when the guilty parties, if there are
any guilty parties, are apprehended, then there will be I'm
positive there will be a trial, a conviction, and there
will be sentenced to a public execution by hanging from
the said escalator.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yes, justice will be served in this situation.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So has anyone given any thought to the possibility this
just could have been a random mechanical failure that caused
the escalator to shut down. While the Trumps for walking
up said escalator doesn't necessarily mean that sinister forces are
work here by no means, And either way, all you
(01:55):
had to do was walk the rest of the way
up the escalator. It is not the end of the world.
So here's a bit of advice concerning the situation.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Get over it.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
There are far more pressing matters than a goddamn broken.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Escalator, just saying.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Also, as many of you may know, Trump recently decided
to change the name of the Department of Defense to
the Department of War.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yes, the Department of War. What is it good for anyways?
All right, So.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I don't get it why the name changed to Department
of War. It makes no goddamn sense. It's stupid and
as childish. It's been the Department of Defense for quite
a while. And why now it's suddenly the Department of War.
Completely eludes me, other than the fact that you know,
(02:58):
here we go. Trump is once again rattling sabers. So
I don't know. Maybe he's making up for a lack
of testosterone or something whatever. But what a goddamn clown
show this administration is.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yes, that just the innuendo. The message behind the name
change is just so.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
I don't know, it just sends the wrong message period
to first of all, the entire world. And I know
now this country is not about making war. Okay, we'll
give you a war if you want one, all right,
but that's not our nature. So to change it from
Department of Defense to Department of War, it's just asinine.
(03:51):
Plus not to mention the amount of money it's going
to cost to change all the stationary over and although
the logos you see guys scraping the letters off the
wall to change it to Department of War, like, come on, now,
this is extra money that doesn't have to be spent.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
And now you know, it's just plain stupid.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And while we was speaking of the Department of War,
let me move on to the War Secretary.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That's kind of funny when you say at the War Secretary.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Pete Hagsith, who recently convened all the generals everywhere in
military commanders to deliver a blunt message that they are
to get fit get on board with the Trump.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Agenda or they will get out.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Basically, it's Trump saying, either comply with my demands or
you can just get the hell out of the door.
And apparently all the military leaders are now supposed to
be fit and not overweight. Well, what about the commander
in chief? He's not exactly what you call body beautiful,
all right? So where is the exempt from the new
(05:10):
policy against any faddies from running the military or whatnot?
Does this now fall in the new regulations of the
Department of War. But most people are calling this convened
conference with Hegsith rather embarrassing for the United States. It's
(05:30):
kind of like addressing down in a lecture from your
parents more than anything else really, So it just Trump's
way of trying to put people under his thumb. It
didn't much prove anything, and it makes us look even
more dumb than we currently are. Just another typical example
(05:50):
of the radical right wing and what they're up.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
To these days. But while I'm speaking of.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
The radical right wing, in the last few weeks, in
the wake of the tragic killing Charlie Kirk, there have
been a lot a lot of radical right wing individuals,
a lot of maga people posting online that the fury
(06:19):
has now been unleashed, the sleeping giant has been awakened
in this country. It's gonna be a devastation on the left.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Okay, So I'm not
exactly clear on all of this, But did we like,
is it like now a war declared between the left
(06:42):
and the right in this country? Or did I miss
the memo on this? What's going on with all of this?
I don't quite understand. And of course, you know, a
lot of these loonies are still trying to make their
case against gay people. They're still trying to say that
train gender people are responsible for violence. Well, here's the
(07:04):
bottom line. There isn't so much as a single shred
of evidence anywhere to back up the claim that transgender
people are more violent than anyone else. There's no evidence
to back that up at all.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
There's no foundation behind it. It is just the ramblings
of some how should we say, people who have an
ax to grind and an agenda to get across. And
this overwhelming homophobia that's coming out against gay people. It's
you know, I have a lot of gay friends. They're
very nice people. But let me give let me give
(07:41):
the right wing a harsh dose of reality here. So
a lot of you men from the radical right and
from MAGA and whatnot, who are so anti gay, let
me throw a statistic at you.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
And I'm sure I'm pretty much on the nose here.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Actually I may be a little underestimating, but I would
have to say that.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
If you took all these.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Right wing men, these radicals, these these pure good saints
that they pretend to be, I'd be willing to bet
that over the years at least ten of those men
have either fondled and or sucked on another guy's cock. Yes,
(08:30):
you heard me right, I did say suck on a cock. Now,
some of the radicals probably just fainted on that one,
but it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
So while you're all out there.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Doing your gay bashing and your transgender bashing and whatnot,
remember you're not perfect either, Okay, So while you're throwing
your stones in glass houses, you might want to think
about that.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
See, right now, this country, he has a lot of issues.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
There's a lot of divisiveness going on in this country,
and especially in the wake of the killing of Charlie Kirk,
emotions are running high, and.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Instead of trying to make people come together after the killing.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Trump has further added fuel to the fire by immediately
coming out and ranting that it was the fault of
the left for all this.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
No, no, no, it was nobody's fault.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
As I've stated before in this podcast, it wasn't the left,
it wasn't the right. It was some deranged lunatic on
a roof with a gun. That's the fault here. And
the killer came from a Republican conservative, white family. So
I'm guessing in the trauma to try to skirt around that,
(09:55):
the right is trying to make issues where there or none,
such as declaring war on the left, which makes no sense.
But let's stop for a minute here to think about
the tragedy of nine to eleven and the disaster that
nine to eleven was, and how we all came together
afterwards as a nation. We came together, doesn't matter if
(10:17):
you're a white, Black, Chinese, Greek, man, woman, or otherwise.
We all came together to unite and get over the crisis.
And do you know one of the reasons why that
occurred is because President Bush helped us to get to
that point. He was able to communicate to us, he
(10:38):
was able to help overcome our fears. He acted as
a leader. That's what the president is supposed to do.
Act as a leader and keep the country from falling apart,
unlike the current leadership that we have in the White House.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Just some food for thought. That's all something for your consideration.
But moving right along.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I'd like to take a minute to discuss the rapture
that never occurred. You're probably familiar with the fact that
this past September, by the twenty fourth, at the end
of the world, was supposed to occur, and it was
going to be a rapture in which people dead and
alive were to be risen up to heaven for a
(11:31):
glorious life to be lived. Well, it turned out that
the rapture ended up being a great, big rupture.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Nothing happened. Most of this came.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
From a South African pastor by the name of Joshua
Lakia I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly, who claimed he
had a vision of Jesus and Jesus told him that
the rapture was coming. So he went forth and he
spread the word and apparently a lot of people, especially
(12:10):
online and social media whatever, believed him that the.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Rapture was indeed coming.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Some people even sold off personal belongings such as their
houses in their cars in preparation to be taken up
to the Great beyond. And again the great Beyond never occurred,
leaving a lot of people without their possessions. You know,
(12:39):
I always have to laugh when I hear about these
so called I guess they call themselves profits where they
see the endcoming and they're given visions of what's going
to happen, and they spread the word to people.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
From my opinion, a lot of these.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
People are flim flam artists hoping to scare people and
maybe make some.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Money out of it in the end.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And I'm sure the pastor here probably collected a dime
or two off of this entire situation. But let's get realistic.
There have been countless buffoons since the dawn of time
who have been preaching about the end of time. It
has yet to happen, and it probably won't happen for
(13:24):
some time to come. Let me give you a stark
dose of reality. When the end comes, we will probably
never see it. It will blindside us. It will come
out of nowhere, and puff will all be gone. There
will be so much as a single warning from anybody.
The good pastor from South Africa claims that Jesus informed
(13:48):
him of the coming rapture. Well, in this case, either
Jesus was drinking or the pastor was delusional and or
just making it all up as he went a long,
because obviously the rapture never occurred. Now, for all those
people who sold off their shit, my understanding from what
(14:10):
I'm sitting online, some of them are actually homeless because
they sold their houses for all of this. I'm guessing
if it were up to me, I would see to
it that the pastor would be somehow made responsible for
this situation through some sort of lawsuits or class action
suit or whatever you call it, because he started the
panic and now there were countless people not only following
(14:33):
this but hoping for.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
It, and it was all for not.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And again, this is why I am a devout agnostic,
plain and simple. So here's my advice. The next time
you hear someone rattling on about the end of the
world and everyone going to some beautiful place and it's
gonna be like a v occasion of Club med, don't
(15:02):
listen to it because it's it's They've been wrong. One
hundred percent of the time to this point, and they're
gonna be wrong one hundred percent of the time going
into the future. For as far as we can see,
nobody can see or tell you when the end of
the world is gonna come along.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Despite what they tell you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
As far as their connections to the higher authorities such
as Jesus and God and whatnot, they don't have it. Okay,
they're not connected. They don't have the ability to pick
up on communications from the other side or the great
beyond or Heaven or what the hell.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I don't know. They just don't have that ability. No
human does.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
They're just like the televangelists who make all of these
claims only in the end to collect the whole shitload
of money. Okay, you know they don't have the inside
line either, as much as they'd like to make you
believe it, so don't believe it. Don't listen to it.
It's all crack a shit. The end of the world
is probably not gonna come anytime soon. But here's what
(16:02):
I can tell you now. I'm no soothsayer, I'm no visionary.
I'm some dipshit with a podcast. Okay, that's about it.
But this much I can tell you if you're out,
let's say, on a walk, maybe through the woods or something,
and you see a bunch of animals who are normally enemies,
who are all running in the same direction, you might
(16:25):
want to follow them, okay, because that's an indicator there's
a problem.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
That's my bit of advice.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
That's how you know the end is coming right there.
If you see snakes running with mongoose or mongooses, I
don't know what the plural is there, follow them and
as fast as you can go after them and get
out of town because you know trouble's on the way then.
But until that time, don't worry about it. Don't sell anything,
no matter what anybody tells you, don't listen to their bullshit.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So there there's my piece of advice. Listen to it.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
So in other headlines, it would seem that the coffee
brand known as Maxwell House has recently decided to change
its name to fit with the times and the economy
in the living situation of many people. The new name
is gonna be Maxwell Apartment. Now, when I first heard this,
(17:24):
I thought it was some sort of a joke, but
apparently this is real. They're changing the name of Maxwell
House Coffee to Maxwell Apartment Coffee. Now, to me, this
makes about as much sense as changing the name of
the Department of Defense to the Department of War. In
(17:46):
a September twenty fifth press release, the company has said,
in a time where value matters now more than ever,
Americans seek value in areas of the every day, including
where they live, with nearly a third opting to rent
versus purchasing a home. So this is why they're changing
(18:07):
the name to Maxwell Apartment because I guess more people
are living in apartments than they are buying homes, which
still has me confused. I can't figure out the goddamn
logic behind this. But I'm not a marketing executive by
no means, so maybe that's why I'm not quite getting
the point.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
It would be.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
It's like, yeah, I want a couple of Maxwell Holl's coffee,
Now I got to ask for Maxwell Apartment coffee.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
For that matter.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Why didn't Why didn't they just you know, make it
Maxwell Condominium coffee And let's really push it. Well, is
it a studio apartment we're talking about here, Maxwell's studio apartment.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Or is it something else?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
How about Maxwell Bungalow, a one room bungalow out in
the woods somewhere.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Now that doesn't that doesn't have a good ring to it.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
And there is the possibility that this could turn into
another a fiasco like the recent cracker barrel fiasco when
they decided to get rid of Uncle Herschel off the barrel.
I wonder if they really thought this through, because this
could back up and smack them right in the face
as like a wet noodle. But I guess only time
(19:19):
will tell if this actually works for them. You know
what's next, changing the name of tam pax or cotexts
to suit the sensibilities of the modern vagina.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
But let me in the closing moments of this podcast,
let me give you some good news or something that
should be uplifting to everyone out there.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Well, at least it should be outlifting uplifting.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
There's a new study out that states if you go
and you hug a tree for twenty one seconds, I
guess once.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
A day you actually feel better.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
You're stress will be reduced, your immune system would be boosted.
Everything would be good in hunky dory. But they have
found I guess that hugging a tree increases certain touch
sensory inputs or whatnot which releases the feel good in dorphin,
And right about now we could all use them feel
(20:28):
good in doorphins. And now I don't know who did
this study. I'm not really seeing and here any indicators,
whether it's a university or.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Some strange individual who lives in the woods.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But I'm sure the study was awarded a billion dollar
grant from the government.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
But that's what they're telling us.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Now, if you hug the tree for twenty one seconds,
you will feel good. Of course, it doesn't state what
type of tree. I would imagine the effect would not
be the same if you live in let's say, Florida
and you hug a palm tree, which has a smaller trunk,
as opposed to if you live in the Northeast and
(21:08):
you hug an elm tree, which usually has a bigger trunk.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I don't know if trunk size makes a.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Difference in this situation as far as the feel good
aspect of hugging said tree. For that matter, is there
a difference if you hug a dead tree as opposed
to a living tree or a tree that's fallen on
the ground. What I can tell you, let me relay
a story that I had experienced myself a number of
(21:36):
years back when I was hiking through the woods up
in Massachusetts, and this one particular day, on this rather
steep hillside, I suddenly lost my footing on some very
slippery pine needles. And let me tell you, pine needles
can be as slippery as ice and or teflon if
you step on them the wrong way. So I started
(21:58):
to plunge off of a of a cliff, but fortunately
I managed to grab hold of a pine tree and
hold on for dear life. I hold onto the tree,
get up under my feet, and I'm hugging this tree
for all it's worth. And every time I try to
step away and get off of the tree and get
back up to the top of the hill to safety,
(22:18):
I couldn't do it. My feet kept slipping on said
pine needles, And so I'm holding under this tree and
I'm trying to I'm gyrating around, bucking my hips. If
a casual observer were there, they would probably have thought
I was some sort of pervert dry humping the tree,
(22:40):
because that's what it most likely looked like. No, it
was me just desperately struggling to keep a grip, so
I didn't plunge down to my death. That's what was
going on. There nothing perverse about it at all. Some
other time maybe I will try it for perversion, but
not now.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
So.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Eventually, to make a long story somewhat shorter, I did
manage to get my footing and I crawled around the
back of the tree, keeping one arm around the tree
like I was dancing the tango with the thing, and
I managed to get around to a rock on the
other side which had firmer footing, and I was able
to climb off the tree and climb up very carefully,
(23:20):
basically on my hands and knees, up to the top
of the hill, and eventual safety and disaster was thus
averted thanks to the tree helping me save my pathetic ass.
I must have been clutching onto this tree for close
to maybe five minutes. There were a few screams that
(23:41):
came out of my mouth during this time. Nothing made
your mind you But during the time I was holding
onto this tree, I did not feel any different. I
did not get no feel good in doorphins, probably because
I was on the verge of pissing and shitting myself
out of panic and even in time following. When I
(24:02):
got home, I did not feel no positive effects from
hanging onto a tree for what seemed like an eternity,
definitely a lot longer than twenty one seconds, much longer
than I had planned. So from my own personal experience,
I can't say if hugging a tree is actually beneficial,
because in this case, it didn't work for me other
than saving my life.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
You know, there might be something to this.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
It might be a croc of shit, who knows, But
I will try to go out and hug a tree
today for twenty one seconds.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
I you know, they don't say is it just twenty.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
One seconds right on the nose or should you do
over twenty two seconds or a twenty seconds suitable? What
should I be wearing when I'm doing this? Should I
be nude? Should I be wearing a jogging outfit?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I don't know. They don't specify and to a lot
of the details.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But anyways, I'm gonna give it a try and I'll
report back as to what actually happens. Hopefully I won't
get arrested in the process of doing this. So anyways,
what all that being said down is now time for
me to close up this episode of the podcast and
go running out the goddamn door. I hope you enjoyed
listening today. Hopefully I didn't offend you or cause you distress.
(25:10):
I really don't care if I did either way. So
but again, let me remind you that it is free
to subscribe to this audio session of joy and merriment,
and very few.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Things are free these days.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
So until next time, take care, be happy, hug a
tree if you want. Don't listen to anything concerning the
rapture rupture because that's not gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
And until next time, so long for now, bye bye,
Readings and welcome to the broadcast. So, on his recent
trip to the United Nations, Donald Trump and Millennia got
stuck while going up on an escalator that suddenly stopped working. Well,
I guess in the end, the two of them actually
(00:23):
had to walk the rest of their way up the escalator,
which apparently was a very traumatizing event for both Trump
and his first lady wife. In the aftermath of the
horrible escalator incident, Trump has vowed that there will be
an investigation and somebody will be arrested. The President is
(00:46):
convinced that it was sabotage, and the guilty parties shall
be brought to justice. And I'm sure the investigation will
be headed up by that incompetent Boob cash Patel who
runs the FBI, or well he says he runs the FBI,
But I'm sure that's how it's going to go down.
(01:06):
And if and when the guilty parties, if there are
any guilty parties, are apprehended, then there will be I'm
positive there will be a trial, a conviction, and there
will be sentenced to a public execution by hanging from
the said escalator.
Speaker 2 (01:26):
Yes, justice will be served in this situation.
Speaker 1 (01:32):
So has anyone given any thought to the possibility this
just could have been a random mechanical failure that caused
the escalator to shut down. While the Trumps for walking
up said escalator doesn't necessarily mean that sinister forces are
work here by no means, And either way, all you
(01:55):
had to do was walk the rest of the way
up the escalator. It is not the end of the world.
So here's a bit of advice concerning the situation.
Speaker 2 (02:05):
Get over it.
Speaker 1 (02:08):
There are far more pressing matters than a goddamn broken.
Speaker 2 (02:11):
Escalator, just saying.
Speaker 1 (02:16):
Also, as many of you may know, Trump recently decided
to change the name of the Department of Defense to
the Department of War.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Yes, the Department of War. What is it good for anyways?
All right, So.
Speaker 1 (02:37):
I don't get it why the name changed to Department
of War. It makes no goddamn sense. It's stupid and
as childish. It's been the Department of Defense for quite
a while. And why now it's suddenly the Department of War.
Completely eludes me, other than the fact that you know,
(02:58):
here we go. Trump is once again rattling sabers. So
I don't know. Maybe he's making up for a lack
of testosterone or something whatever. But what a goddamn clown
show this administration is.
Speaker 2 (03:16):
Yes, that just the innuendo. The message behind the name
change is just so.
Speaker 1 (03:29):
I don't know, it just sends the wrong message period
to first of all, the entire world. And I know
now this country is not about making war. Okay, we'll
give you a war if you want one, all right,
but that's not our nature. So to change it from
Department of Defense to Department of War, it's just asinine.
(03:51):
Plus not to mention the amount of money it's going
to cost to change all the stationary over and although
the logos you see guys scraping the letters off the
wall to change it to Department of War, like, come on, now,
this is extra money that doesn't have to be spent.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
And now you know, it's just plain stupid.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
And while we was speaking of the Department of War,
let me move on to the War Secretary.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
That's kind of funny when you say at the War Secretary.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
Pete Hagsith, who recently convened all the generals everywhere in
military commanders to deliver a blunt message that they are
to get fit get on board with the Trump.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Agenda or they will get out.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Basically, it's Trump saying, either comply with my demands or
you can just get the hell out of the door.
And apparently all the military leaders are now supposed to
be fit and not overweight. Well, what about the commander
in chief? He's not exactly what you call body beautiful,
all right? So where is the exempt from the new
(05:10):
policy against any faddies from running the military or whatnot?
Does this now fall in the new regulations of the
Department of War. But most people are calling this convened
conference with Hegsith rather embarrassing for the United States. It's
(05:30):
kind of like addressing down in a lecture from your
parents more than anything else really, So it just Trump's
way of trying to put people under his thumb. It
didn't much prove anything, and it makes us look even
more dumb than we currently are. Just another typical example
(05:50):
of the radical right wing and what they're up.
Speaker 2 (05:53):
To these days. But while I'm speaking of.
Speaker 1 (05:58):
The radical right wing, in the last few weeks, in
the wake of the tragic killing Charlie Kirk, there have
been a lot a lot of radical right wing individuals,
a lot of maga people posting online that the fury
(06:19):
has now been unleashed, the sleeping giant has been awakened
in this country. It's gonna be a devastation on the left.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. Okay, So I'm not
exactly clear on all of this, But did we like,
is it like now a war declared between the left
(06:42):
and the right in this country? Or did I miss
the memo on this? What's going on with all of this?
I don't quite understand. And of course, you know, a
lot of these loonies are still trying to make their
case against gay people. They're still trying to say that
train gender people are responsible for violence. Well, here's the
(07:04):
bottom line. There isn't so much as a single shred
of evidence anywhere to back up the claim that transgender
people are more violent than anyone else. There's no evidence
to back that up at all.
Speaker 2 (07:18):
Nothing.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
There's no foundation behind it. It is just the ramblings
of some how should we say, people who have an
ax to grind and an agenda to get across. And
this overwhelming homophobia that's coming out against gay people. It's
you know, I have a lot of gay friends. They're
very nice people. But let me give let me give
(07:41):
the right wing a harsh dose of reality here. So
a lot of you men from the radical right and
from MAGA and whatnot, who are so anti gay, let
me throw a statistic at you.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
And I'm sure I'm pretty much on the nose here.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Actually I may be a little underestimating, but I would
have to say that.
Speaker 2 (08:05):
If you took all these.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Right wing men, these radicals, these these pure good saints
that they pretend to be, I'd be willing to bet
that over the years at least ten of those men
have either fondled and or sucked on another guy's cock. Yes,
(08:30):
you heard me right, I did say suck on a cock. Now,
some of the radicals probably just fainted on that one,
but it's the truth.
Speaker 2 (08:40):
So while you're all out there.
Speaker 1 (08:43):
Doing your gay bashing and your transgender bashing and whatnot,
remember you're not perfect either, Okay, So while you're throwing
your stones in glass houses, you might want to think
about that.
Speaker 2 (08:58):
See, right now, this country, he has a lot of issues.
Speaker 1 (09:01):
There's a lot of divisiveness going on in this country,
and especially in the wake of the killing of Charlie Kirk,
emotions are running high, and.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
Instead of trying to make people come together after the killing.
Speaker 1 (09:19):
Trump has further added fuel to the fire by immediately
coming out and ranting that it was the fault of
the left for all this.
Speaker 2 (09:29):
No, no, no, it was nobody's fault.
Speaker 1 (09:31):
As I've stated before in this podcast, it wasn't the left,
it wasn't the right. It was some deranged lunatic on
a roof with a gun. That's the fault here. And
the killer came from a Republican conservative, white family. So
I'm guessing in the trauma to try to skirt around that,
(09:55):
the right is trying to make issues where there or none,
such as declaring war on the left, which makes no sense.
But let's stop for a minute here to think about
the tragedy of nine to eleven and the disaster that
nine to eleven was, and how we all came together
afterwards as a nation. We came together, doesn't matter if
(10:17):
you're a white, Black, Chinese, Greek, man, woman, or otherwise.
We all came together to unite and get over the crisis.
And do you know one of the reasons why that
occurred is because President Bush helped us to get to
that point. He was able to communicate to us, he
(10:38):
was able to help overcome our fears. He acted as
a leader. That's what the president is supposed to do.
Act as a leader and keep the country from falling apart,
unlike the current leadership that we have in the White House.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
Just some food for thought. That's all something for your consideration.
But moving right along.
Speaker 1 (11:08):
I'd like to take a minute to discuss the rapture
that never occurred. You're probably familiar with the fact that
this past September, by the twenty fourth, at the end
of the world, was supposed to occur, and it was
going to be a rapture in which people dead and
alive were to be risen up to heaven for a
(11:31):
glorious life to be lived. Well, it turned out that
the rapture ended up being a great, big rupture.
Speaker 2 (11:42):
Nothing happened. Most of this came.
Speaker 1 (11:46):
From a South African pastor by the name of Joshua
Lakia I hope I'm pronouncing that correctly, who claimed he
had a vision of Jesus and Jesus told him that
the rapture was coming. So he went forth and he
spread the word and apparently a lot of people, especially
(12:10):
online and social media whatever, believed him that the.
Speaker 2 (12:14):
Rapture was indeed coming.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Some people even sold off personal belongings such as their
houses in their cars in preparation to be taken up
to the Great beyond. And again the great Beyond never occurred,
leaving a lot of people without their possessions. You know,
(12:39):
I always have to laugh when I hear about these
so called I guess they call themselves profits where they
see the endcoming and they're given visions of what's going
to happen, and they spread the word to people.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
From my opinion, a lot of these.
Speaker 1 (12:58):
People are flim flam artists hoping to scare people and
maybe make some.
Speaker 2 (13:02):
Money out of it in the end.
Speaker 1 (13:03):
And I'm sure the pastor here probably collected a dime
or two off of this entire situation. But let's get realistic.
There have been countless buffoons since the dawn of time
who have been preaching about the end of time. It
has yet to happen, and it probably won't happen for
(13:24):
some time to come. Let me give you a stark
dose of reality. When the end comes, we will probably
never see it. It will blindside us. It will come
out of nowhere, and puff will all be gone. There
will be so much as a single warning from anybody.
The good pastor from South Africa claims that Jesus informed
(13:48):
him of the coming rapture. Well, in this case, either
Jesus was drinking or the pastor was delusional and or
just making it all up as he went a long,
because obviously the rapture never occurred. Now, for all those
people who sold off their shit, my understanding from what
(14:10):
I'm sitting online, some of them are actually homeless because
they sold their houses for all of this. I'm guessing
if it were up to me, I would see to
it that the pastor would be somehow made responsible for
this situation through some sort of lawsuits or class action
suit or whatever you call it, because he started the
panic and now there were countless people not only following
(14:33):
this but hoping for.
Speaker 2 (14:35):
It, and it was all for not.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
And again, this is why I am a devout agnostic,
plain and simple. So here's my advice. The next time
you hear someone rattling on about the end of the
world and everyone going to some beautiful place and it's
gonna be like a v occasion of Club med, don't
(15:02):
listen to it because it's it's They've been wrong. One
hundred percent of the time to this point, and they're
gonna be wrong one hundred percent of the time going
into the future. For as far as we can see,
nobody can see or tell you when the end of
the world is gonna come along.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Despite what they tell you.
Speaker 1 (15:20):
As far as their connections to the higher authorities such
as Jesus and God and whatnot, they don't have it. Okay,
they're not connected. They don't have the ability to pick
up on communications from the other side or the great
beyond or Heaven or what the hell.
Speaker 2 (15:37):
I don't know. They just don't have that ability. No
human does.
Speaker 1 (15:42):
They're just like the televangelists who make all of these
claims only in the end to collect the whole shitload
of money. Okay, you know they don't have the inside
line either, as much as they'd like to make you
believe it, so don't believe it. Don't listen to it.
It's all crack a shit. The end of the world
is probably not gonna come anytime soon. But here's what
(16:02):
I can tell you now. I'm no soothsayer, I'm no visionary.
I'm some dipshit with a podcast. Okay, that's about it.
But this much I can tell you if you're out,
let's say, on a walk, maybe through the woods or something,
and you see a bunch of animals who are normally enemies,
who are all running in the same direction, you might
(16:25):
want to follow them, okay, because that's an indicator there's
a problem.
Speaker 2 (16:30):
That's my bit of advice.
Speaker 1 (16:32):
That's how you know the end is coming right there.
If you see snakes running with mongoose or mongooses, I
don't know what the plural is there, follow them and
as fast as you can go after them and get
out of town because you know trouble's on the way then.
But until that time, don't worry about it. Don't sell anything,
no matter what anybody tells you, don't listen to their bullshit.
Speaker 2 (16:56):
So there there's my piece of advice. Listen to it.
Speaker 1 (17:00):
So in other headlines, it would seem that the coffee
brand known as Maxwell House has recently decided to change
its name to fit with the times and the economy
in the living situation of many people. The new name
is gonna be Maxwell Apartment. Now, when I first heard this,
(17:24):
I thought it was some sort of a joke, but
apparently this is real. They're changing the name of Maxwell
House Coffee to Maxwell Apartment Coffee. Now, to me, this
makes about as much sense as changing the name of
the Department of Defense to the Department of War. In
(17:46):
a September twenty fifth press release, the company has said,
in a time where value matters now more than ever,
Americans seek value in areas of the every day, including
where they live, with nearly a third opting to rent
versus purchasing a home. So this is why they're changing
(18:07):
the name to Maxwell Apartment because I guess more people
are living in apartments than they are buying homes, which
still has me confused. I can't figure out the goddamn
logic behind this. But I'm not a marketing executive by
no means, so maybe that's why I'm not quite getting
the point.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
It would be.
Speaker 1 (18:28):
It's like, yeah, I want a couple of Maxwell Holl's coffee,
Now I got to ask for Maxwell Apartment coffee.
Speaker 2 (18:34):
For that matter.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Why didn't Why didn't they just you know, make it
Maxwell Condominium coffee And let's really push it. Well, is
it a studio apartment we're talking about here, Maxwell's studio apartment.
Speaker 2 (18:46):
Or is it something else?
Speaker 1 (18:49):
How about Maxwell Bungalow, a one room bungalow out in
the woods somewhere.
Speaker 2 (18:55):
Now that doesn't that doesn't have a good ring to it.
Speaker 1 (18:59):
And there is the possibility that this could turn into
another a fiasco like the recent cracker barrel fiasco when
they decided to get rid of Uncle Herschel off the barrel.
I wonder if they really thought this through, because this
could back up and smack them right in the face
as like a wet noodle. But I guess only time
(19:19):
will tell if this actually works for them. You know
what's next, changing the name of tam pax or cotexts
to suit the sensibilities of the modern vagina.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
Whatever.
Speaker 1 (19:39):
But let me in the closing moments of this podcast,
let me give you some good news or something that
should be uplifting to everyone out there.
Speaker 2 (19:50):
Well, at least it should be outlifting uplifting.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
There's a new study out that states if you go
and you hug a tree for twenty one seconds, I
guess once.
Speaker 2 (20:01):
A day you actually feel better.
Speaker 1 (20:06):
You're stress will be reduced, your immune system would be boosted.
Everything would be good in hunky dory. But they have
found I guess that hugging a tree increases certain touch
sensory inputs or whatnot which releases the feel good in dorphin,
And right about now we could all use them feel
(20:28):
good in doorphins. And now I don't know who did
this study. I'm not really seeing and here any indicators,
whether it's a university or.
Speaker 2 (20:37):
Some strange individual who lives in the woods.
Speaker 1 (20:40):
But I'm sure the study was awarded a billion dollar
grant from the government.
Speaker 2 (20:46):
But that's what they're telling us.
Speaker 1 (20:47):
Now, if you hug the tree for twenty one seconds,
you will feel good. Of course, it doesn't state what
type of tree. I would imagine the effect would not
be the same if you live in let's say, Florida
and you hug a palm tree, which has a smaller trunk,
as opposed to if you live in the Northeast and
(21:08):
you hug an elm tree, which usually has a bigger trunk.
Speaker 2 (21:11):
I don't know if trunk size makes a.
Speaker 1 (21:14):
Difference in this situation as far as the feel good
aspect of hugging said tree. For that matter, is there
a difference if you hug a dead tree as opposed
to a living tree or a tree that's fallen on
the ground. What I can tell you, let me relay
a story that I had experienced myself a number of
(21:36):
years back when I was hiking through the woods up
in Massachusetts, and this one particular day, on this rather
steep hillside, I suddenly lost my footing on some very
slippery pine needles. And let me tell you, pine needles
can be as slippery as ice and or teflon if
you step on them the wrong way. So I started
(21:58):
to plunge off of a of a cliff, but fortunately
I managed to grab hold of a pine tree and
hold on for dear life. I hold onto the tree,
get up under my feet, and I'm hugging this tree
for all it's worth. And every time I try to
step away and get off of the tree and get
back up to the top of the hill to safety,
(22:18):
I couldn't do it. My feet kept slipping on said
pine needles, And so I'm holding under this tree and
I'm trying to I'm gyrating around, bucking my hips. If
a casual observer were there, they would probably have thought
I was some sort of pervert dry humping the tree,
(22:40):
because that's what it most likely looked like. No, it
was me just desperately struggling to keep a grip, so
I didn't plunge down to my death. That's what was
going on. There nothing perverse about it at all. Some
other time maybe I will try it for perversion, but
not now.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
So.
Speaker 1 (22:58):
Eventually, to make a long story somewhat shorter, I did
manage to get my footing and I crawled around the
back of the tree, keeping one arm around the tree
like I was dancing the tango with the thing, and
I managed to get around to a rock on the
other side which had firmer footing, and I was able
to climb off the tree and climb up very carefully,
(23:20):
basically on my hands and knees, up to the top
of the hill, and eventual safety and disaster was thus
averted thanks to the tree helping me save my pathetic ass.
I must have been clutching onto this tree for close
to maybe five minutes. There were a few screams that
(23:41):
came out of my mouth during this time. Nothing made
your mind you But during the time I was holding
onto this tree, I did not feel any different. I
did not get no feel good in doorphins, probably because
I was on the verge of pissing and shitting myself
out of panic and even in time following. When I
(24:02):
got home, I did not feel no positive effects from
hanging onto a tree for what seemed like an eternity,
definitely a lot longer than twenty one seconds, much longer
than I had planned. So from my own personal experience,
I can't say if hugging a tree is actually beneficial,
because in this case, it didn't work for me other
than saving my life.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
You know, there might be something to this.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
It might be a croc of shit, who knows, But
I will try to go out and hug a tree
today for twenty one seconds.
Speaker 2 (24:35):
I you know, they don't say is it just twenty.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
One seconds right on the nose or should you do
over twenty two seconds or a twenty seconds suitable? What
should I be wearing when I'm doing this? Should I
be nude? Should I be wearing a jogging outfit?
Speaker 2 (24:46):
I don't know. They don't specify and to a lot
of the details.
Speaker 1 (24:49):
But anyways, I'm gonna give it a try and I'll
report back as to what actually happens. Hopefully I won't
get arrested in the process of doing this. So anyways,
what all that being said down is now time for
me to close up this episode of the podcast and
go running out the goddamn door. I hope you enjoyed
listening today. Hopefully I didn't offend you or cause you distress.
(25:10):
I really don't care if I did either way. So
but again, let me remind you that it is free
to subscribe to this audio session of joy and merriment,
and very few.
Speaker 2 (25:23):
Things are free these days.
Speaker 1 (25:24):
So until next time, take care, be happy, hug a
tree if you want. Don't listen to anything concerning the
rapture rupture because that's not gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (25:36):
And until next time, so long for now, bye bye,
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
Cardiac Cowboys
The heart was always off-limits to surgeons. Cutting into it spelled instant death for the patient. That is, until a ragtag group of doctors scattered across the Midwest and Texas decided to throw out the rule book. Working in makeshift laboratories and home garages, using medical devices made from scavenged machine parts and beer tubes, these men and women invented the field of open heart surgery. Odds are, someone you know is alive because of them. So why has history left them behind? Presented by Chris Pine, CARDIAC COWBOYS tells the gripping true story behind the birth of heart surgery, and the young, Greatest Generation doctors who made it happen. For years, they competed and feuded, racing to be the first, the best, and the most prolific. Some appeared on the cover of Time Magazine, operated on kings and advised presidents. Others ended up disgraced, penniless, and convicted of felonies. Together, they ignited a revolution in medicine, and changed the world.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.