Episode #10: GIRL, GET UP! COVID CONVERSATION: Unveiling Resilience

The Pandemic, Sheltering In Place, The Impact On Women and Social Interactions.

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Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Hello, Hello, and hello.I hope if you are in the warmer
parts of the world, that youare staying hydrated and you are staying cool
or as cool as possible. Thisheat is nothing to play with, regardless
of where you may find yourself.So I hope that you are taking care

(00:25):
of yourself, you are staying safe. This is a woman's place. Girl,
get up, and I am donnaspent a minute. Since I've had
the opportunity to record, I promiseI'm going to be more consistent. I'm
on a mission. I think thelast episode I talked about COVID conversations,

(00:48):
specifically the COVID conversations I had withtwo women who were sisters, their sisters
and one was a colleague, theother was her sister, and we cut
into these really thought provoking conversations.We were isolated, we were sheltering in
place, remember that phrase, shelteringin place, and we just needed someone

(01:14):
to connect with whom we could betransparent. So I'm going to share bits
and pieces of our COVID conversations justfor us to think, to process.
Again. Not a therapist, nota counselor, but I have a heart
for digging deep and as we movedthrough these conversations that are parenting calling COVID

(01:37):
conversations. Let's think about unveiling resistance. Unveiling resistance. While we were isolated,
we had a lot of opportunity toturn inward and have conversations with ourselves
how we are and who we areand why we do what we do.

(02:00):
I understand that in the New Barbiemovie there is a segment where America Ferrara
has this powerful statement about to theextent, damned if you do, damned
if you don't. About women,we have to investigate ourselves, open ourselves
up to therapy, to thought provokingconversations, in depth conversations. What aver.

(02:25):
So let's talk about unveiling resistance asI share my COVID conversations with you
from twenty twenty COVID conversations. Yes, I'm pretty sure that people all overhead

(03:14):
these kinds of conversations, and maybefamily had these conversations. Spouses had these
conversations, siblings had these conversations.Because the layers began to kind of do
layers unravel. The layers began tounravel, and we had to turn inward.

(03:35):
Suddenly we were confronted with the newWe had to figure out how to
work remotely, had to figure out, if we had small kids, how
to manage the kids, how tomanage the household, how to manage ourselves,
how to manage our marriages, howto manage relationships. Since we no
longer had the opportunity to go quoteunquote outside, so we begin to turn

(03:58):
inward, and we begin to discoverthings about ourselves, things that we like,
things that we were indifferent about it, things we didn't care for at
all. The pandemic that sheltering inplace had a direct impact on social interactions.

(04:19):
Who knew about zoom before we hada shelter in place? Oh?
Yes, Google had it's social room, if I can see it that way,
But it was only used for teachersmeetings. Maybe here there, everywhere.
There were other opportunities to use socialmedia platforms. They weren't used that

(04:44):
often because everyone was on on campus, everyone was in the office, everyone
was at school. And then thepandemic came, and suddenly the way we
socially interacted shifted and changed in moreinto this different kind of thing. We

(05:06):
had new eatings in virtual rooms,we had we went to church in virtual
rooms. We just all of asudden at school classes in virtual rooms.
Some people managed it well. Otherpeople didn't manage it at all, kind

(05:26):
of lost it along the way.So it really had a direct impact on
our social interactions, how we builtrelationships. Could we even make friends on
Zoom? There were conferences on Zoom, workshops on zoom, what they call
webinars on zoom, just everything.Could we not only make new friends on

(05:50):
Zoom, but could we hold onto those relationships that were in place before
we had to stay in place wherewe had to show altered in place.
And that's where the significance of talkingto other women came into play for me.
I don't know why I started orreached out, but I reached out

(06:13):
and to two colleagues, and oneof them said I'm interested. The other
had family, had husband, hadchildren, managing all of that. I
understood, understood. The other colleaguereached out and we began this conversation,
and then the sister said I wantin, and the conversations continued, and

(06:39):
so we really needed and I don'tknow how long we did this, maybe
a month or two before work becamemore and more insistent about going back on
site, about putting these things inplace about this happening. Once again,

(07:01):
the world infringed on female conversations.That's why you have to be intentional about
these conversations. You have to reachout and you have to say that set
of time, let's talk, let'smake this happen. Yeah, otherwise it
wonked because life is so demanding.Even if you're a single woman, it's

(07:27):
still demanding of you, time,strength, energy, demanding everything from you.
And so we're busy making sure thatall the pieces stay in place.
This piece over here is home,and this piece over here is job.
If I have a job, thispiece over here is school, or maybe
I'm home schooling, or this pieceover here is family. This piece over

(07:48):
here, if I'm older than maybemy parents are getting even older. And
this piece over here, and thispiece over here, and this piece over
here, all of those pieces tryingto make sure they stay in their proper
position, and so it infringes onour conversations. But I think the one
thing that the pandemic taught us isthe importance of these conversations. So today

(08:13):
I want to talk about decluttering.Wait a minute, you just talked about
COVID conversations. Now you're talking aboutdecluttering yes, I am, I am.
Have you ever watched the television programHoarders h O A R D R
E s. But people just havea compulsion to accumulate things, to keep

(08:35):
accumulating things, to keep acculing,to stop everywhere, until they can only
navigate if it's in their hall.They can only navigate narrow spaces they've created
for themselves so that they can getfrom one spot in the home to the
other. But just think about oldschool newspapers, and there are newspapers every
winter stacked stacked almost to the ceiling, and the width of the room,

(09:01):
the height, the wet, thewidth, just stacked with newspapers. And
you cut out this little path.But maybe to the bathroom where there's stuff
stacked, or maybe to the kitchenwhere there's stuff stacked, or maybe to
another bedroom where the stuff stacked,or maybe stuff is so stacked you can't
even lie down on the bed.You're in a recliner. You just it's

(09:22):
just stuffed everywhere. Hoarders. Inour COVID conversation, we talked about the
room that is us. The Biblecalls us a temple, temple of the

(09:43):
Holy Spirit. So let's talk aboutthe room that is us. What's in
your room? How cluttered is yourroom? What are you storied up?
What are you hoarding in your thatyou need to get rid of. Maybe

(10:05):
some low self esteem you've been hoarding. Maybe some doubts, some self doubts
you've been hoarding. Maybe the ideathat you have no value you've been hoarding,
just stacking it up. Maybe someold tapes from things that people said

(10:28):
about you back in the day.You'll never be this, you'll never be
that, You'll never be the other. Why can't you be like your sister?
Why can't you be like your cousin? Why can't you be like the
neighbor's daughter. What is your problem? Why can't you do better? What
are your issues? Maybe you've beenaccumulating some bitterness. It's in that room,

(10:50):
the room called self. You don'tlove yourself, you don't take care
of yourself, and you've been stackingthis stuff in this room, this particular
room, it's called the Room ofNo Consequence. This room in self it
self is the house. But you'reyou're You're You're made of many rooms.

(11:16):
And this particular room that I've talkedabout low self esteem and self doubt and
the need to be seen and theidea you have no value in the old
tapes you've been accumulating, and thebitterness and the no self love. This
room are calling the room of noconsequence because it all says you are of

(11:37):
no consequence? How dare you thinkmore highly of yourself than you are?
I understand what the Bible means bythat that as believers, we are to
be concerned about the welfare and thewell being of our brothers and sisters in
Christ. But how can I beconcerned about the wellbeing of my brothers,
my sisters, particularly in Christ,if I'm not caring for myself. If

(12:05):
every day I opened the door tothat room of No Consequence and I throw
in some more or low self esteem, I throw in some more no value,
I throw in some more stuff thatpeople have said that has negatively impacted
me. I throw in some moreself doubt, I think, and pretty
soon I have just this narrow littlepath in which to navigate my way through

(12:26):
the world. Because that room isso cluttered, it's so filled with doubts
and fears and frustrations and anger andanxiety. And I can barely find myself

(12:48):
in that room. Because you seeI'm defining myself by all the stuff I
see in that room, all thestuff I've been accumulated in that room,
business boxes and boxes of bitterness,boxes and boxes of low self esteem.
And eventually what I've been storing upin a room of no consequence, I'm

(13:15):
also going to discover that it isgoing to be so packed that it can
no longer be contained in that roomand no consequence, and it is going
to burst through the door into theliving room where I live. I think

(13:35):
in comfort, because you see,I've been accustomed to the living room where
I just go and just function theway I'm expected to function, speak the
way I'm expected to speak, reactthe way I'm expected to react, put
on the mask, step into theliving room. But eventually that's stopped.

(13:56):
That's been in the room of noconsequences gonna break forth in the living room,
and at some point it's going toimpact how I represent self in the
living room, going to act outin the living room. Some bitterness is
going to show up in the livingroom. Some self doubt is going to
show up in the living room.Some anger, some frustration. It's going

(14:20):
to show up in the living roombecause this room I'm no consequence, is
I've been. I've been holding stuffin there for years and years and years.
Now while I'm sheltering in place andI'm forced to look into that room,

(14:43):
I'm no consequence because see, I'vebeen comfortable in the living room,
been interacting in the real world outsidethe four doors of my home, socializing
and being what everyone else wants meto be paraphrase of double conscious. Since
I'm not who I think I am. I'm not who you think I am.
I am who I think you thinkI am. So I've been who

(15:05):
I think you think I am allof these years. And then the time
comes but I have to shelter inplace and I can no longer ignore the
room of no consequence. I haveto declutter. But I need help.

(15:33):
I need help from women who aretransparent, who will open the doors to
their own rooms and no consequence,who will challenge me to begin to declutter,
but will also be accountable for theirown decluttering. Because the new reality
is I can no longer go backto being mask in asked, I'm gonna

(16:02):
have to take that mask off andtake a good look at what's in that
room. Cause see the mask becausesomewhat blinded me to what's in the room.
Just got these little slits for theeyes, you see, and the
mouth, and so I appear tothe world outside the four doors in my
house. And so the mask forcesme faces front, to not look inward,

(16:26):
but to express outward. But nowthat I'm sheltering in place, the
mask has to be taken off becauseI have no longer have a concern about
how people see me, because noone sees me except whoever is in the

(16:52):
house with me at the time.Otherwise no one sees me. And that
room of consequence so long door closed. Every time an issue came up,
I just tossed it in that room. Now I have to deal with it.

(17:18):
Now, I have to begin todeclutter. I need friends to come
alongside and challenge me to begin todeclutter that room of no consequence. So
that's where we're going with these COVIDconversations, the decluttering of that room of

(17:44):
no consequence. I have no valuethe clearing out of all of that stuff,
and just share what we learned inthe process as we unveil resistance.
I'm sorry I said resistance, unveilresilience. I think I said resistance at

(18:07):
the beginning should be unveiling resilience.You know, I see resilience. It's
like snap back, and now youpull on a rubber band and we let
go of one end, it snapsback. Yeah, that's how I see
resilience. It's being able to snapback to come back. The focus is

(18:29):
sharp and it's clear, and you'redigging deep to get all of that stuff
out of that room of no consequence. And so we're going to unveil resilience
with each topic. I'm just layingthe groundwork here as we talk about who

(18:49):
we are in this new season afterthe sheltering in place, each where we're
free to move about. Understand thatCOVID is still around and the potential for
it to turn into another many pandemicis there for sure. But in this

(19:17):
new season, post COVID, postsheltering in place, maybe we should put
it that way. We need tofind that friend with whom we can sit
and talk and declutter that room ofno consequence. So that's where we're going.

(19:47):
I hope you will hang with mefor the ride. I believe that
revelation results in recovery and restoration,and resilience leads us to a place of
self acknowledgement and self actualization. Aswe move forward to become the women God

(20:18):
has called us, has designed usto be. Purpose is in place.
We may not yet understand the destiny, but we can certainly grow in the
journey. We can seize the momentto be productive as we declutter and discover

(20:52):
we were there all the time Untilnext time. As we die a little
deeper into the COVID conversations that Ihad with my friends, I pray that
you will connect with some friends whowill allow you to be transparent as you

(21:15):
allow them to be transparent, andyou discover you discover the real you and
not the one who presents to aworld what you think they want to see.
And then next time, this isDonna and the podcast is a woman's

(21:40):
place. Girl, get up,reminding you always that a woman's place is
in the will of God.