April 23, 2023 • 16 mins
When is the last time you went comparison shopping? I am a comparison shopper; I will track down an item until I find the best price or I will wait until the item goes on sale. Did you know we do the same thing when it comes to self-assessment, measuring ourselves against others. ? Well, we do (with a little vanity sprinkled in) and I also call that comparison shopping. Listen Up! Listen In!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Do you like to shop? Yeah? I do too. Are you that
individual that when you are out shopping? And I'm probably talking to mostly women,
but when you are out shopping,you see that dress, that jacket,
that suit, those shoes, thatpurse, those accessories, that lip
(00:25):
stick, those earrings, whatever,and you really like it, but you
check the cost and you think,nope, not paying that. But because
you really like that item, yougo on a search for something similar,
(00:52):
if maybe not even the exact samething, for less cost. You know
what that's called. That's called comparisonshopping. That's what we're talking about today.
Woman's place, girl, get up, let's talk about comparison shopping.
(01:37):
I will admit it. I amthat woman. I will go comparison shopping.
I see that dress, that jacket, those shoes, those ear rings.
I'm really big on ear rings andlipstick. Yesterday I was out at
(01:57):
a mall and a woman passed meand she had this lipstick on and it
just called my name and I wentout with the intent when I stepped into
them all I'm looking for that lipstick. I'm going to find that lipstick.
And I searched, and I searched, and I searched and there was similar
(02:17):
lipsticks, but not exactly what Iwas looking for, and I wanted it
at a reasonable price, could notfind it, so I had to settle
for an item that's pretty close toit at the cost because I couldn't find
it anywhere else. But if Ihad thought I could find it somewhere else,
(02:40):
I would have gone comparison shopping lookingfor this lipstick that I really loved
that would look the same. However, doesn't cost the same. Comparison shopping
just going from one vendor to thenext, from store to store looking for
that same are almost identical item andthinking I've gotten it at a lower cost
(03:07):
and I'm still happy with it,I still love it. But that's not
the comparison shopping I want to talkabout today. I want to tell you
something about myself here. Lately,I have begun to wear wigs. Now.
I've always done weaves, and ifyou don't know what a weave is,
look it up. But I've alwaysdone weaves and I've loved it.
(03:29):
You can change the length. Itcan be long. I've never gone here
all the way down to the rearend, but shoulder length and maybe a
little beyond, or I can goshort, and I love it. But
here lately I've started wearing wigs,and I was really, really kind of
self conscious about the idea of wearinga wig. But the convenience of it
(03:52):
all just pull it on and go. Well, it takes a little bit
more than that, so that doesn'tfly off somewhere in someone's face. But
just grab it, put it on, and go and your hair looks good.
I don't buy expensive wigs. Icannot afford expensive wigs. I do
(04:13):
the comparison shopping unexpensive wigs. Ilook at the one that I like that's
two, three, four or fivehundred dollars that I cannot afford, and
then I look for it real hairor as close to human hairr as I
can get it for a lesser price, and I can work with that and
make it look good. But asI mentioned, I was a little self
(04:35):
conscious about wearing wigs. What willpeople think? They will know that it's
a wig. Now, look,I'm not the first woman to wear a
wig. It will be the lastwoman to wear a wig. So why
am I self conscious about wearing awig? When people compliment me, I
(04:55):
want to, oh, it's justa wig, but no, that's not
what you do with compliments. Yousay thank you, but it brings up
an issue that has always been anissue for me. I never stepped into
what I really loved wearing what Ireally loved because I was too self conscious
(05:18):
about what others might think. Howwould they look at me? What would
they say about me? Is thisdrawing too much attention to me? And
then I would look at others andthey would be dressed so stylishly, or
(05:39):
to be so talented, just goodat what they do, And then I
would look at me and think,I'll never be able to pull that off.
I'll never be able to speak thatway. I'll never be able to
sing that way, I'll never beable to dress that way. I call
that comparison shopping, comparing yourselves toothers, and you're always at the low
(06:02):
end of the value spectrum. Comparisonshopping saying I have no value because I
don't measure up to what I perceiveas the standard that individual has set before
me. And more than likely theydon't even know that you're thinking that way,
(06:25):
that you're looking at them and thinking, oh wow. That insecurity is
ruling comparison shopping. Comparing myself toothers. And you know what I thought
about that idea of being self consciousand being concerned about what people think about
(06:47):
how people see you, about howpeople measure you, or how you measure
up to others. Do you knowwhat I've decided that is? That's vanity?
Way, Donna? How can thatbe vanity? That's insecurity? Know
that's vanity Because you think I thinkthat I am so that that people are
(07:15):
looking at me and watching me andassessing me, that's vanity. What people
think of me is none of mybusiness. How they assess how I am
and what I do is none ofmy business unless they are mentor are someone
whose constructive criticism adds to me,challenges me to grow into stretch. But
(07:41):
just because I think if I putthis week on, somebody's gonna look at
me, somebody's gonna say, girl, that's none of my business what anyone
else thinks about me. If Ilike it, if I enjoy it,
if it brings me great joy,then what others think? Again, And
(08:07):
unless it's someone that I've to askto critique, to give me feedback,
to give me their insights, andas is someone that I've asked to do
that, it's vanity. Oh,I know, call it what you will.
It's insecurity. It's how it usraised. No one ever valued me.
(08:30):
I was always the one that wasthought to me less. Then no
one ever said yes you can.Have you said to yourself, yes you
can? I can? And whatdoes the scripture say? Apostle Paul reminds
us and we quote it all thetime. I can do all things through
Christ, who strengthens me. SoI draw from the strength of Christ that's
(08:52):
in me that life I now livein the flesh. I live by the
faith of the Son of God wholoved me and gave them self for Megalatians
too, and before that Philippines four. So my going around and being concerned
about what I think people think ofme is just playing old vanity. Donna.
(09:16):
Let it go, because listen,listen, Linda, listen. There's
always going to be someone smarter.There's always going to be someone prettier,
There's always going to be someone richard, There's always going to be someone taller,
there's always going to be someone thinner, There's always going to be someone
more talented, more skilled. Sowhat do we do with that? What
(09:43):
we can spend our lives morning thefact that we're not that person, or
we can spend our lives giving itour personal best. I recently made a
real for Instagram and used the audiofrom Dion Sanders and what he kept seeing
(10:03):
the refrain He would say something.He said, The light may not be
on you, but keep making plays. You may not have the numbers,
but keep making plays. And I'mparaphrasing. You might not be as smart
as, but keep making plays.You may not be as talented as,
but keep making plays. You maynot be in the corner office, but
(10:28):
keep making plays. You may bedriving the Hoopedie rather than the tesla,
but keep making plays. They maynot be shouting your name, but keep
making plays. Keep moving forward,keep giving it your all, your personal
best. It's time out for thecomparison shopping. It's time to move forward.
(10:56):
To declare to ourselves. I amwho God says I am, just
as every other individual must say tothemselves. I am who God says I
am. I am not what anyoneelse says I am. I am not
who anyone else says I am.Someone once shared with me the paraphrase for
(11:22):
the double consciousness espoused by W.E. B. Du Bois, and
it is the idea of looking atoneself through the eyes of the majority culture,
if I can put it that way, And the way she shared it
(11:43):
with me was like this, Iam not who you think I am.
I am not who I think Iam. I am who I think you
think I am. Do you getthat? I am not who you think
I am. I am not whoI think I am. I am who
I think you think I am.And that's the way we have been going
(12:07):
through life, just measuring ourselves bywho we think the other person thinks we
are, rather than being ourselves.You know, you hear about your true
self, your authentic self, yourgenuine self. I don't know what that
means. All I can be isDonna, and I think it was a
Shakespeare This says, to thine ownself be true. So I must first
(12:28):
be true to myself about my visionof me, about who I think others
think I am, and let thatgo because what others think of me,
good or bad. Remember now,people will bring you the great press,
and that's wonderful. Thanks them forit. But that's none of your business
(12:52):
what they think of you, otherthan to be grateful that they see that
in you. And certainly the badpress. That's not in my business what
you think of me? Question hasto be what does God think of me?
There's an old song every now andthen comes to me, I am
(13:15):
satisfied with Jesus, and the chorusgoes, I am satisfied, I am
satisfied. I am satisfied with Jesus. But the question comes to me as
I think as I gaze on Calvary, is my Master satisfied with me?
(13:39):
I will never be six feet tall. I wanted to be tall. I
landed at five ft four. Imay never get back down to one hundred
and thirty pounds, which is theideal weight for my height, but I
could press my way in that direction. I will never seem like any of
(14:00):
my daughters, but I can celebratetheir gifts and delight in what God has
placed in them. I will neverbe twenty or twenty five, or thirty
or thirty five, or forty orforty five or fifty or fifty five or
sixty or sixty five again. ButI can celebrate where I am right now,
(14:24):
thank God for another day, andpress forward in my personal best to
impact as many lives of women,young adult women to the positive women young
old in between to impact and tobring that which I've learned down through the
(14:46):
years and share it with them.Now what they do with it is their
business, But I no longer wantto be stuck in that place where the
only reason I don't is because I'mconcerned about what others will think. Time
out for the comparison shopping. Timeto move forward, to become all you
(15:11):
can be as God has created youto be, becoming all that He says
you are. This has been awoman's place. Girl get up, So
girl, get up, Get upand start moving forward. Start moving forward,
(15:35):
knowing that God goes before you.Goodness and mercy follows you at those
gifts, those talents, what youbring to the table the door that God
opens, walk through in the assurancethat it is by His plan that you
(15:56):
are who you are. You arewhere you are, and you can be
who God says you are by walkingin faith. Until next time. Please
follow. If you're not following,please cook the button and follow my podcast.
And what do you share it withothers? A woman's place is in
(16:19):
the will of God, So girl, get up. Until next time. God bless
Do you like to shop? Yeah? I do too. Are you that
individual that when you are out shopping? And I'm probably talking to mostly women,
but when you are out shopping,you see that dress, that jacket,
that suit, those shoes, thatpurse, those accessories, that lip
(00:25):
stick, those earrings, whatever,and you really like it, but you
check the cost and you think,nope, not paying that. But because
you really like that item, yougo on a search for something similar,
(00:52):
if maybe not even the exact samething, for less cost. You know
what that's called. That's called comparisonshopping. That's what we're talking about today.
Woman's place, girl, get up, let's talk about comparison shopping.
(01:37):
I will admit it. I amthat woman. I will go comparison shopping.
I see that dress, that jacket, those shoes, those ear rings.
I'm really big on ear rings andlipstick. Yesterday I was out at
(01:57):
a mall and a woman passed meand she had this lipstick on and it
just called my name and I wentout with the intent when I stepped into
them all I'm looking for that lipstick. I'm going to find that lipstick.
And I searched, and I searched, and I searched and there was similar
(02:17):
lipsticks, but not exactly what Iwas looking for, and I wanted it
at a reasonable price, could notfind it, so I had to settle
for an item that's pretty close toit at the cost because I couldn't find
it anywhere else. But if Ihad thought I could find it somewhere else,
(02:40):
I would have gone comparison shopping lookingfor this lipstick that I really loved
that would look the same. However, doesn't cost the same. Comparison shopping
just going from one vendor to thenext, from store to store looking for
that same are almost identical item andthinking I've gotten it at a lower cost
(03:07):
and I'm still happy with it,I still love it. But that's not
the comparison shopping I want to talkabout today. I want to tell you
something about myself here. Lately,I have begun to wear wigs. Now.
I've always done weaves, and ifyou don't know what a weave is,
look it up. But I've alwaysdone weaves and I've loved it.
(03:29):
You can change the length. Itcan be long. I've never gone here
all the way down to the rearend, but shoulder length and maybe a
little beyond, or I can goshort, and I love it. But
here lately I've started wearing wigs,and I was really, really kind of
self conscious about the idea of wearinga wig. But the convenience of it
(03:52):
all just pull it on and go. Well, it takes a little bit
more than that, so that doesn'tfly off somewhere in someone's face. But
just grab it, put it on, and go and your hair looks good.
I don't buy expensive wigs. Icannot afford expensive wigs. I do
(04:13):
the comparison shopping unexpensive wigs. Ilook at the one that I like that's
two, three, four or fivehundred dollars that I cannot afford, and
then I look for it real hairor as close to human hairr as I
can get it for a lesser price, and I can work with that and
make it look good. But asI mentioned, I was a little self
(04:35):
conscious about wearing wigs. What willpeople think? They will know that it's
a wig. Now, look,I'm not the first woman to wear a
wig. It will be the lastwoman to wear a wig. So why
am I self conscious about wearing awig? When people compliment me, I
(04:55):
want to, oh, it's justa wig, but no, that's not
what you do with compliments. Yousay thank you, but it brings up
an issue that has always been anissue for me. I never stepped into
what I really loved wearing what Ireally loved because I was too self conscious
(05:18):
about what others might think. Howwould they look at me? What would
they say about me? Is thisdrawing too much attention to me? And
then I would look at others andthey would be dressed so stylishly, or
(05:39):
to be so talented, just goodat what they do, And then I
would look at me and think,I'll never be able to pull that off.
I'll never be able to speak thatway. I'll never be able to
sing that way, I'll never beable to dress that way. I call
that comparison shopping, comparing yourselves toothers, and you're always at the low
(06:02):
end of the value spectrum. Comparisonshopping saying I have no value because I
don't measure up to what I perceiveas the standard that individual has set before
me. And more than likely theydon't even know that you're thinking that way,
(06:25):
that you're looking at them and thinking, oh wow. That insecurity is
ruling comparison shopping. Comparing myself toothers. And you know what I thought
about that idea of being self consciousand being concerned about what people think about
(06:47):
how people see you, about howpeople measure you, or how you measure
up to others. Do you knowwhat I've decided that is? That's vanity?
Way, Donna? How can thatbe vanity? That's insecurity? Know
that's vanity Because you think I thinkthat I am so that that people are
(07:15):
looking at me and watching me andassessing me, that's vanity. What people
think of me is none of mybusiness. How they assess how I am
and what I do is none ofmy business unless they are mentor are someone
whose constructive criticism adds to me,challenges me to grow into stretch. But
(07:41):
just because I think if I putthis week on, somebody's gonna look at
me, somebody's gonna say, girl, that's none of my business what anyone
else thinks about me. If Ilike it, if I enjoy it,
if it brings me great joy,then what others think? Again, And
(08:07):
unless it's someone that I've to askto critique, to give me feedback,
to give me their insights, andas is someone that I've asked to do
that, it's vanity. Oh,I know, call it what you will.
It's insecurity. It's how it usraised. No one ever valued me.
(08:30):
I was always the one that wasthought to me less. Then no
one ever said yes you can.Have you said to yourself, yes you
can? I can? And whatdoes the scripture say? Apostle Paul reminds
us and we quote it all thetime. I can do all things through
Christ, who strengthens me. SoI draw from the strength of Christ that's
(08:52):
in me that life I now livein the flesh. I live by the
faith of the Son of God wholoved me and gave them self for Megalatians
too, and before that Philippines four. So my going around and being concerned
about what I think people think ofme is just playing old vanity. Donna.
(09:16):
Let it go, because listen,listen, Linda, listen. There's
always going to be someone smarter.There's always going to be someone prettier,
There's always going to be someone richard, There's always going to be someone taller,
there's always going to be someone thinner, There's always going to be someone
more talented, more skilled. Sowhat do we do with that? What
(09:43):
we can spend our lives morning thefact that we're not that person, or
we can spend our lives giving itour personal best. I recently made a
real for Instagram and used the audiofrom Dion Sanders and what he kept seeing
(10:03):
the refrain He would say something.He said, The light may not be
on you, but keep making plays. You may not have the numbers,
but keep making plays. And I'mparaphrasing. You might not be as smart
as, but keep making plays.You may not be as talented as,
but keep making plays. You maynot be in the corner office, but
(10:28):
keep making plays. You may bedriving the Hoopedie rather than the tesla,
but keep making plays. They maynot be shouting your name, but keep
making plays. Keep moving forward,keep giving it your all, your personal
best. It's time out for thecomparison shopping. It's time to move forward.
(10:56):
To declare to ourselves. I amwho God says I am, just
as every other individual must say tothemselves. I am who God says I
am. I am not what anyoneelse says I am. I am not
who anyone else says I am.Someone once shared with me the paraphrase for
(11:22):
the double consciousness espoused by W.E. B. Du Bois, and
it is the idea of looking atoneself through the eyes of the majority culture,
if I can put it that way, And the way she shared it
(11:43):
with me was like this, Iam not who you think I am.
I am not who I think Iam. I am who I think you
think I am. Do you getthat? I am not who you think
I am. I am not whoI think I am. I am who
I think you think I am.And that's the way we have been going
(12:07):
through life, just measuring ourselves bywho we think the other person thinks we
are, rather than being ourselves.You know, you hear about your true
self, your authentic self, yourgenuine self. I don't know what that
means. All I can be isDonna, and I think it was a
Shakespeare This says, to thine ownself be true. So I must first
(12:28):
be true to myself about my visionof me, about who I think others
think I am, and let thatgo because what others think of me,
good or bad. Remember now,people will bring you the great press,
and that's wonderful. Thanks them forit. But that's none of your business
(12:52):
what they think of you, otherthan to be grateful that they see that
in you. And certainly the badpress. That's not in my business what
you think of me? Question hasto be what does God think of me?
There's an old song every now andthen comes to me, I am
(13:15):
satisfied with Jesus, and the chorusgoes, I am satisfied, I am
satisfied. I am satisfied with Jesus. But the question comes to me as
I think as I gaze on Calvary, is my Master satisfied with me?
(13:39):
I will never be six feet tall. I wanted to be tall. I
landed at five ft four. Imay never get back down to one hundred
and thirty pounds, which is theideal weight for my height, but I
could press my way in that direction. I will never seem like any of
(14:00):
my daughters, but I can celebratetheir gifts and delight in what God has
placed in them. I will neverbe twenty or twenty five, or thirty
or thirty five, or forty orforty five or fifty or fifty five or
sixty or sixty five again. ButI can celebrate where I am right now,
(14:24):
thank God for another day, andpress forward in my personal best to
impact as many lives of women,young adult women to the positive women young
old in between to impact and tobring that which I've learned down through the
(14:46):
years and share it with them.Now what they do with it is their
business, But I no longer wantto be stuck in that place where the
only reason I don't is because I'mconcerned about what others will think. Time
out for the comparison shopping. Timeto move forward, to become all you
(15:11):
can be as God has created youto be, becoming all that He says
you are. This has been awoman's place. Girl get up, So
girl, get up, Get upand start moving forward. Start moving forward,
(15:35):
knowing that God goes before you.Goodness and mercy follows you at those
gifts, those talents, what youbring to the table the door that God
opens, walk through in the assurancethat it is by His plan that you
(15:56):
are who you are. You arewhere you are, and you can be
who God says you are by walkingin faith. Until next time. Please
follow. If you're not following,please cook the button and follow my podcast.
And what do you share it withothers? A woman's place is in
(16:19):
the will of God, So girl, get up. Until next time. God bless
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