Stevie B. at No Perfect People Group - Woodinville, WA - 11/9/2025

Stevie B. at the No Perfect People Group. Woodinville, WA 11/9/2025.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
Everybody. My name is Stevie B. I'm a grateful are
recovering alcoholic and a member of the Golden Text Group
of Hollywood, Florida. God bless you guys. Good to be
with you guys tonight. Great job, Cynthia, thank you No
Perfect People group for inviting me. And it's going to
be a great night. If you haven't drank today, which

(00:23):
I have not how to drink today, and most of
us have not had to drink today. Most of the
program is not about not drinking because most of us
not we don't even think about not drinking. Now, we
do have some new people here today, and so we're
gonna definitely talk about the way that it was and
how it was and what it was like, because that's
always fun. They're telling stories like that, you know, rolled

(00:45):
up in a carpet, arrested driving with one eye. I
only have one eye, so it's like driving always with
one eye. But so that's fun telling those type of stories.
And we'll go into some of those. But then really
the meat of this program for me, for us is
how it's like now, you know, what's the difference in

(01:08):
the way we used to live. That's going to be
a little bit of it and then and how we're
living now, and I just want to tell you the
end of the story, just in case you have to
leave early. The end of the story is there is
one that has all power. That one is God, and
we certainly hope you find them now. And for some reason,
I didn't hear that, what's up rober Camani Bubby. For
some reason I didn't hear that. I didn't hear that.
For years and years and years, I thought the program

(01:33):
is all about me. I thos, get me better, and
get me stronger, get me better muscles, and get me
out beautiful wife, and get me a nice car. Somehow
I missed the entire thing that it was not about me,
because in treatment they tell you it's about you, and
then we come in the rooms and they tell you you're
the most important person to me. I like that part.

(01:53):
I'm like, I feel like the most important person to me,
But like I carried that for years. I'm like, I'm
the most important person and they're like, no, that stops
a thirty days son. I didn't get that. I didn't
get that the Twelve Steps was a design for living
for people with mental illness. And I want to tell you,

(02:14):
I came here for my drinking, and I stayed here
for my thinking. And today I'm here for my thinking
because I wasn't even thinking about drinking. And I would
say I need a meeting. And what I mean by
that is left to my own devices. I'm in trouble.
I'm a criminal behavior away anytime without God. And the

(02:36):
whole thing for me is my story is a butt
God's story. And I know some of your stories is
a butt God's story. Like you were going straight into prison, right,
there's no doubt about it. But God, You're never going
to marry that beautiful wife. But God. I would never
have this beautiful wife but God. We wouldn't be in
this church but God. Most of us wouldn't have jobs,
but God. Our entire life is a but God's story.

(03:02):
But I didn't know that, you know, I'm like kind
of like a know it all guy from New York,
half Jewish, half Italian, so I forget. I was like
I knew everything kind of like factored into the knowing
it all. And because I'm from New York, I don't
know if that's the way it's in Washington. Everyone in
New York feels like the entire planet circles around New York,
like with the center of the universe. I don't know
if that's a Washington thing, but it's certainly a New

(03:24):
York thing. And and I didn't get the work for
things concept. I kind of got the lie for things concerts.
I was amazing liar. I was like one of the
best liars. I haven't met any other liars in here.
And do you other dishonest people in here? I know you.
Come on now if you're an alcoholic, not you, sir, No,

(03:44):
of course not. But but I was. I was a
tremendous liar. And I'm an incredible liar with low self esteem.
That means I will lie at any any anything just
to make myself feel better about myself because I don't
feel worthy. I didn't feel worthy, so if I lied,
I could become Before drinking, I had lion. I came

(04:07):
from a big school. Twenty five hundred kids in my
high school. In my class was five hundred, and there
was a new coach that came to school, and you know,
you know everybody in your school. I'm not saying I
knew all twenty five hundred, but I knew a lot
of the kids. We'd all growing up together. And a
new coach came to school and this is an example

(04:29):
of my lie. And he looks at the roster and
he says, Boyarsky and I say yes, Coach. He says,
does your brother play for the Pittsburgh Panthers. I just
need to back up for a second. I didn't have
a brother number one, number two. I had a little
chubby sister, which in my neighborhood you got no juice
if you had a chubby sister. All the guys that
had any juice had big brothers, and I didn't have

(04:50):
a big brother. But I always wanted a great brother.
And when he asked me that in front of five
hundred kids, I knew my life was about to chat.
I say, yes he does, coach, and all the kids
who knew I had a stepbrother as a plumber in
Massachusetts looked over at me and they're like, your brother
plays for the Pits. I go, yes, he does. And

(05:11):
you know, at that moment, I was with somebody, and
I love that feeling to this day. I have to
be careful that the ego to this day. When I
came up here, when I was just coming up here,
the ego said to me, you better do a good job.
These people came from one guy told me he came
from far distance. You better do a good job. And
then God told me just just get out of the way.

(05:34):
They don't want to hear from U, Steve. Nobody came
to the meeting tonight to hear about you. Page fifty
two of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous is an
amazing page and page fifty two, I hope. I'm so
glad you guys came for this three hour talk. He's
gonna be amazing. On pace fifty two, we have something
called the Big Devilments because we have the promises in

(05:56):
the middle of the ninth step, but in order to
get to the promises, we have to know that a problem.
Here's here were some of my problems. We were having
trouble with personal relationships. It's on page fifty two Bedevilments.
We're having problems with personal relationships. Can you relate to that?
Some of you guys problems with personal relate?

Speaker 2 (06:14):
Yeah?

Speaker 1 (06:14):
You know how I'm looking at you? Did you get
know that? By the way, if you feel like I'm
staring at you, my eye will look around the room
while I'm reading that has nothing to do with you.
I was shot, okay, so I'm blind in one eye
and it just looks around sometimes checking things out. So
don't get you know, don't be like, why is he
staring at me? It's none of you. It's just the

(06:36):
way that is. We were having trouble with our personal relationships.
We couldn't control our immersional emotional natures. We were prey
to misery and depression. We couldn't make a living. We
had a feeling of uselessness. Right, we had a feeling
of uselessness. That's why, Well, you take a drink, don't
go to work. I have a feeling of uselelness, useful lessness.

(06:58):
Take another drink because you didn't go to work, and
so on and so on. And by the way, when
I say drink, this is Alcoholics Anonymous. Don't get don't
get offended. If you're not a drinker, and you're a drugger,
or you're a sexer, or you're a gambler. Alcoholics Anonymous
works for everything. Is is a unifying program, all inclusive,

(07:18):
never exclusive. I'm a real alcoholic, but I'm not a
pure alcoholic. Don't get it. I'm not gonna go into drugs.
Don't worry, Michael, I know, maybe getting nervous. I'm not
gonna get the drugs. But if I say I was
rolled up in a carpet or I peeped out of
a window for three days, and I say it's because
of scots, that's kind of silly, isn't it. You know
it's that scotch. That'd be some good scots, so right,

(07:42):
that'd be some good scotch. We're praying to misery depression.
We couldn't make a living. We had a feeling of uselessness.
We were full of fear. I was always full of fear.
And when I did some of that that high octane scotch,
I felt like every it was coming at one time.
The police were always positioned right outside my door, break

(08:05):
or breaker coming in right now, coming in high. One
time I called the police on myself, picked up the
phone and said nine to one. One said, what's your emergency?
I said, is I'm about to be arrested by some
mysterious police force. I need another police force to come
in here and intervene. That's a god's honest truth. I
threw myself down on the carpet I threw my hands

(08:28):
behind my back. I put them in a prone position
so that they wouldn't hurt me. I laid there on
the carpet. The real police finally got there, knocked on
the doors, said what's the problem? And can you imagine
how embarrassing that was? We were full of fear, we
were unhappy, We couldn't seem to be of real help
to other people. Was not a basic solution of all

(08:50):
these bedevelments more important than whether were this is the problem.
That was the problem. Now, not everyone's gonna have all
of that, but if you qualify for a recovery program,
you need to have at least one of them. I
have all of them. Fear is the number one. Fear
has been my main my main defective character, one of

(09:12):
my main deficts. Well it's one of the seven defectsive
character I've been suffered from in my life. So that's
the problem to be devilments. So I told the school
that my brother played for the Pittsburgh Panthers. Turns out
that's a major college team. I didn't know what it was,
but when he got drafted to the NFL, that was
like the best day of my life. I had a

(09:34):
jersey with his name I newspaper clippings. People are coming
up to me. How do you feel like it is
amazing for my family? You know, I kept that thing
going for years into college. I got shot in the
eye when I was twelve years old because I didn't
want to I didn't want a kid in the neighborhood
to leave while we were playing and uh and I

(09:55):
had a one seventy seven caliber pellet gun that was
really powerful, and it blew out my eye. And the
whole thing was because I didn't want them to go,
so I said, you could shoot at me. I've always
wanted I've always thought in the moment and not in
the next five minutes. And that's how I lost the honor.

(10:15):
And then during that time, I tried some of the
drugs that they gave me, and I liked them. Why
I like them. I liked them because it made me
be a different person. Alcohol and drugs for me make
me be able to be somebody else, somebody that I
envision I want to be an Alcohol is like a
great It's like a great elixir for a person that

(10:38):
has low self esteem. I could dance better. I was
taught my eyes were straight. I mean, it's great, and
I wasn't gonna give it up. And then I come
from an era of the eighties in New York, New York, Miami.
You know, I don't know if you've seen the movie
Scarface or a New Jack City, the kind of like

(11:01):
my Erar and kind of like my neighborhoods. So there
was a lot of that flowing and so I, you know,
I got in trouble with that, and uh, and my
family sent me out to a treatment center in Minnesota.
And by the way, you guys know, real cold out here.
It's wonderful, this amazing weather. I love, this's incredible, but

(11:22):
I have a feeling it gets colder in Minnesota, gets
really cold. I don't know it is. It's the same
type of cold here, in the same type of cold Minnesota.
That's serious cold, and I didn't know it. My family
sent me out to treatment. I had like a guinea
tea on like five gold chains. I had my hair gel.
I came, I had like muscle pants, balloon pants, and

(11:43):
I arrived on January of February seventh in Minnesota, and
I was woefully underdressed because they had popped in a
movie called Cleaning Sober with Michael Keaton, and they're like,
this is where you're going. And we never met anyone
that went to treatment. Nobody in my neighbor. People in
my neighbor don't go to treatment. They go to college

(12:03):
or jail. There's really not a treatment type of situation.
But I went to treatment. I was twenty years old,
and I was introduced to the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.
When I say introduced to the twelve steps, now it
sounds a lot more romantic the way I just said it.
They were on the wall. I was incarcerated at this
treatment center. They said, this is what we're gonna do.

(12:23):
And so I was introduced to the twelve Steps of
Alcoholics Anonymous. But I was not there for no drinking.
I for not drinking. I was twenty I just turned
twenty one. I was there for one substance and one
substance only. And the guys like, you know, we're powerless
over alcohol. Like I am not powerless of alcohol. I
haven't even really started drinking. Alcohol just started. How gond

(12:45):
I be powerless? He said, well, well we have an
answer to it for all your problems. I said, well,
I just came out here for one problem, and I
need to get that done. And I need to get
back to college. I'm in the senior you're a college.
I need to get that done. And my family was
under the impression that twenty eight days should do the trick,
and I agreed with them. I felt like, twenty eight
days to do the trick. I'll go back to college,

(13:06):
finish college, get on with my life. It's twenty eight
d spin drift program. And that didn't work out good
for me. First, I got kicked out on the twenty
sixth day for fighting because they kept telling me I
was powerless and I didn't really like that concept. And
so I got kicked out for fighting, and and I
got sent to a male halfway house and I got
kicked out for fighting, and then I got h and

(13:28):
then I got a woman roommate, and I got kicked
out for a smoking crack. That was a separate subject.
And so my experience, I said I wasn't gonna use drugs.
I apologized that slip that might, let's slip that, but
I didn't. I didn't even know how that happened. That's
just slipped. That was like, that's the last time you'll
hear about drugs. And so I'm here. I'm in Minnesota,

(13:49):
and my family joins a program called I don't know
the exact name of the program, but it was a
nara On tough love program. And I'm the only boy
in my family that had always coddled me, and I'm
the only male heir in the family. And I and
so when they sent me out to treatment, they sent
me out to treatment with a thirty five thousand dollars

(14:10):
check to go to Hazelin for Kids. And I came
out with three piece matching Gucci luggage. I was gonna
do it for twenty eight days, you know what I'm saying, keV.
I was gonna do three peach matching Gucci luggage temper treatment.
But they enjoined some type of secret society program called
narron On, and they taught my parents like this undercover code.
And I called him. I was saying, they just kicked

(14:31):
me out again, and I'm on the streets and it's
freezing out here and I don't have the right clothing
and I lost my luggage and I need to come home.
My parents say, we didn't cause this problem, so and
we can't cure this and we can't control it. You're
gonna figure it out. I was like, what you just

(14:51):
sent me out here? Now you join a program that
allows me not to come back. That doesn't seem like
good fair rules. And so I was stuck out there
in Minnesota and I had to and I had to
figure it out. So what I do? I got a sponsor.
Even though I wasn't sober. I started going to the
meetings to try to grab some traction. And it was
warm in the meetings and I and I and I
started to meet some people in the meetings, and sometimes

(15:14):
when there would be one newcomer, don't do this this,
this is a bad thing to do. Don't don't, don't
do what I'm about to tell you to do some
because I was more like a drugging, so when there
would be another newcomer that would raise that hand, I
would notice the other newcomer and after the meeting, I'd
go up to the newcomer. I say what you doing
after the meeting, you know, like like and then we
would get together, you know, not not female male, just
like you know others sick from males and so so

(15:38):
the main guy from the meeting from the Pacific group
called me and said, you can't start. You can't come
back here, like I was kicked out of AA. That's
hard to do, to get kicked out of AA. I mean,
the bar for AA kicking out is very very low.
But I was taking out other newcomers and that's like
a no no and uh and and so somehow I

(16:00):
got back in that other halfway house and and I
started doing not the deal. I started doing a deal,
and any deal was better than the deal I was doing.
But it wasn't the deal yet. It was like the
twelve steps light, which will work for a while. The
twelve steps work light could work for a while, especially
when it's very cold outside, that you could do that

(16:22):
for a while. And so my, my, my, my motivation
was to try to be inside as much as possible
with you people. And so I was inside for a while,
and I got about nine months clean. I was doing
Narcotics Anonymous back then, Narcotics Anonymous and which is which
is a good program for dating. I really appreciated that program.

(16:42):
I was making a killing and uh. And so I
relapsed with nine months, I had no no recovery. Now
I'm on the streets again, but this time it was
the summer, so it was better. When I say I'm
on the streets, I don't want to act. I don't
act like I'm a bad uh, you know, a bad
tush guy like I. When I say the streets, it's
more like it's more like like a street for an

(17:04):
hour type of situation. There wasn't really the streets. I
don't want to pretend I was. I'm like a street
guy because I would always manage to like, you know,
walk to someone's house and you know, tell my sad
story and that they would bring me in. And but
so I got back into the halfway house, and this
time I got a year and my family said come

(17:25):
down to Florida. And I got a year. And I
was almost on my fifth step, which is so it
means I'm going in the right direction. And when I
say almost on the fifth step, there's a lot of
people in the program that are almost on their fifth step.
I was almost on my step fifth step for years.
I was right there, and so you can imagine I
was a stark, raving crazy and I was always almost

(17:47):
on my fifth step, which means I was always writing
my fourth step for about six months and I get
down to Florida and then I meet I finally meet
alcohol Synonymous. And if you're here today, I want to
I want to welcome me at Alcoholics Anonymous. If you're new,
I want to well, Alcoholics Anonymous is the most amazing
program in the world. But Alcoholics Anonymous without God is

(18:08):
nothing for me. It's just a bunch of people commiserating together,
like we used to drink and now we don't, and
now we have a light beyond our wildness dreams. But
let's go pick up prostitutes. That's that's Alcoholics Anonymous without
without God for men. I know this is going to
be a little raw for this crowd, and I'm sorry

(18:29):
for that. Pably, every two years they forget how bad
the last talk was and they invite me back two
years from now. So I apologize that you're in this talk,
but it takes them a while to invite me back.
How was here two years ago? As a matter of fact,
it's a beautiful young girl in the back, and she
was here for her first meeting two years ago and
now she just celebrated one year and I just want

(18:50):
to congratulate Kaylee on her wedding. It took her one
year to recover from the first met she had went
to when I spoke, now she's got to use so
alcoholics anonymous without God for me is me without drinking,
and I need a drink to exist in life. Drink

(19:14):
the drink is actually the solution to my problem, not
my problem. I don't have an alcohol problem. I have
a me problem, and alcohol is actually helps me to
calm down whatever the alcohol substance is. So getting sober
for me is not the answer. And I'm sorry if
that offends anywhere, but let me finish the story before

(19:36):
you walk out. Getting sober will never be the answer
for me. I was twelve years sober and I gave
a kid a gun and said shoot at me and
I'll move fast. So sobriety is not the answer to
my mental illness. And then I was seven years sober

(19:58):
another time, and I was arrested for picking up a
prostitute coming out of a meeting of alcoholics. Anonymous sober.
The Bible says to be sober minded to think about
things about not physically sober. I could be physically sober
and be a complete crazy. I was arrested four times
in sobriety, four times in sobriety. I'm not bragging. I'm saying,

(20:19):
that's this terrible practicing these principles, and none of my affairs.
I was arrested by the alcohol, tobacco and firearms. That's
that's like a step up. Local police and state police,
four different times sober without God. And then I see

(20:41):
her and we work at a mall where there was
a circus, and she joined the circus. She was a
dancer from Columbia and she came here and the first
job they gave her was a dancer in the circus,
and she worked on an elephant. And I saw her

(21:04):
and I said, if I can get that girl, the
one on the elephant, that's probably gonna fix all my problems.
I don't know if you've ever said that to yourself before.
Seems to be a common thing for men. If I
can get that girl that's working on the elephant, that's
gonna help me. Maybe you girls say if I can
get the job on the elephant. That I don't. But

(21:25):
I saw her. She was coming in on the elephant,
and I said, if I can get that girl, that
exotic girl with the headdress and the beautiful sequins, not
the elephant had nothing to do with the story. She
just happened to be on it. And she was taller.
She looked much taller on the elephant. I said, if
I can get that tall girl on the elephant, she's
gonna fix all my problems. And when she got down

(21:46):
from the elephant, I pursued her and pursued her pursuit.
Eventually she just gave up married me and we had
a big AA wedding and I was sober five years.
I said, by the way I said something wrong, I apologize.
I wasn't arrested for picking up a prostitute. When I
was seven years I was already with Sandy, and so
that's not I fast forward it. But before Sandy, before

(22:09):
we got married, I did that terrible thing. And I
thought she was going to fix me. Because if I
don't work the steps, if I don't get closer to God,
if I don't do the things that that are outlined
in this book and also the big big book for me,
the Bible, if I don't do these things, I'm going
to be all about me again. And that's what happened.

(22:31):
I had a god of my misunderstanding somehow. When you
said turn my will in my life over to the
care of God. I thought you said a god of
my understanding. I never really was paying attention. I thought
it said we made a decision to turn our will
and our lives over to the care of a God
of our understanding. So I made up a god. I

(22:51):
made up a god that went to strip clubs with me.
I made up a god that allowed me to punch
people in the face an alcoholics anonymous head buddy guy
in AA. I made up a God that allowed me
to lie to my fiance. I made up a God
that allowed me to do terrible things. I made up
a god. It turns out God doesn't need me to
make him up. He's already got a name, and it's God.

(23:12):
It's my job to find out who he is. He
already knows who I am. He wore me together in
my mother's womb. He knows me. And I didn't know that,
and she didn't fix me, and I got sicker, and
a year into our marriage, I started drinking and she
didn't sign up for that. I was bad, but I

(23:34):
wasn't bad like I was when I was drinking. And
then I wasn't coming home, and then I got a
six felony car crash. What that means is six felon.
He's in one car crash. That's serious business. Then I
destroyed our finances and I wrecked our home. My drug choice,
you wreck homes. My drug choice is not a drug

(23:55):
choice where you come home and you lay on the
couch and you go to sleep. My drug choice tells
you that there's police officers outside at all times, and
you're willing to hide anything you possibly can in any
wall in the house in that exact moment. And when
you do that, you have to sometimes take down some
of the walls in the house because you know the
police are coming in right now, and when they come in,

(24:17):
you can't be caught with all that all the alcohol,
So you got to hide all that alcohol like in
the moment. And when you do that, the best place
to hide alcohol is to pull a picture off the wall,
punch a hole in the wall, stick your alcohol in there,
and then put the picture up and hang out. So
when the police come in, you got the remote control
in your hand and you're like, what are you doing
breaking in my house? But they never came in because

(24:42):
they weren't there. So I'm sitting there with the remote control.
And when I finally figured out they weren't there, I
would go to the hole in the wall and grab
my alcohol. But it turns out.

Speaker 2 (24:50):
The wall is not solid, and all your alcohol falls
to the bottom, like thousands of dollars of alcohols now
on the botto of your wall.

Speaker 1 (25:04):
It's not like you're just gonna leave it there. You
take that wall down once you know the police aren't there.
That wall is fair game. So Sandy came home from
the country at Columbia and the house was missing walls.
This is true. There's not a made up story. Missing walls,
missing pipes, missing ceiling tiles. None of the bathrooms work,

(25:25):
the plumbing and the showers didn't work. You never heard
this story. It's bad. You will probably never write me
back again. This story. Our house was destroyed. So she
got the police and she served me with a restraining
order and they put me in a psychiatric ward. So

(25:46):
what they call a psychiatric board, not really, there's a
better name for it, mental institution, a house for the
criminally disturbed. And then and when I went to get out,
they showed me that I had a piece of paper
that I wasn't allowed to go back home. It's do

(26:07):
they have restraining order here in Washington? Let me ask
did they have that? You probably had to get one
on him, I would imagine recently. And uh, and so
I had nowhere to go. I was about to be
released to the streets sober. I had done the streets

(26:27):
for an hour or two, not sober, but now it
was like four days sober for inside this mental uh,
inside the psychiatric floor. And uh and and now I
find out I can't go home. And the guy comes in,
jim Jimmy D. And he and he comes in, he goes,
we'd like to invite you to come to our halfway house.

(26:48):
This is before I knew. Oh wait, this is before
I knew there was a restraining order against me. You know,
for you those that don't know restrains. The police say
you can't come home. That's what that is, because you're
a danger to your wife or the other way around.
You're just a danger. And so Jimmy D comes in
and goes, we want to invite you to come to
our halfway house. I said, I own a full house
in Hollywood, like right down the street. I well, I

(27:09):
come to you got halfway house? He says, well, we
got a restraining order. You're about to be homeless tomorrow.
I said, well, tell me about your program. You know,
like I already know I'm not doing homeless sober. That's
not going to happen. And so I started on that journey,
and what happened. This is my story. And I'm sorry
this upsets you, but the Big Book says that we're

(27:31):
quick to see where religious people are right. But this
is my story, my entire life. I've been I've been
in alcoholic Synonymous now for ten years. I never got
past the fifth step. I didn't have a God of
my under I had a God of my misunderstanding. This
is my story. I couldn't get it. I kept relapsing,
destroyed our family, destroyed my new marriage, destroyed our finances,

(27:54):
destroyed the house. I was the president of the homeowners
association with shutters on in the middle of the wrong
season in Florida. BE like, you know, President, you shouldn't
have this. There's no hurricanes this time of the year.
I'm like, go away, you know. Like So, if this
part of the story offends you, I'm sorry, but this

(28:16):
is what this is what saved my life. My wife
started going to church behind my back. She joined a
program called allan On, which gives you the strength to
do whatever you want, like a secret society of women
and men that don't follow the rules of the marriage,
and she got a whole support group. They were they

(28:37):
were like telling her what to do. Yeah, you can
go to church. Girl, don't let them home. Girl. Change
the locks. Girl, just change one of the locks. This
is how mean this people in alan On are. There's
two locks in my house. She just changed one of them.
So I would come and I would tell I'm like,
got this. It turns out what after she finally allowed

(28:59):
me to come back in house. It turns out both
locks were keyed the same and I just couldn't figure
it out the entire time. So she starts going to turn.
I don't know about it. I'm thirty days clean, I
got no money, I'm in a very short leash, no car.

(29:23):
I come up with this amazing idea. I would like
to get high one more time. I'm serious about staying sober,
but I would want to get high one more time.
I have one more day of drinking. Not that I
want to go on a run, because I'm not going
to do it. I just want one more day of drink.
I want a day off. You do thirty days sober.
I felt I needed a day off. So but my

(29:44):
sponsor had told me to start praying on my knees.
It's a tough Jewish guy from San Francisco, Jerry Bear.
He's not from said San Francio, but he was living
in Marine County. Hardcore a out there in Marine County
marin may Man's group, and he started to eat sit.
You gotta start praying on your knees. In the morning.
You're gonna ask God to keep you clean and sober.

(30:04):
And at now you're gonna get on your knees and
you're gonna thank them for keeping you clean. So, because
if I invited you over my house for dinner, you
came over my house, you grab the food, you didn't
say please, you left the house, you didn't say thank you.
I would never invite you back again. And I said,
of course none. I would have no manners. He said,
we have no manners in God's world. If you don't
ask him for the gift of sobriety in the morning

(30:24):
and thank them for the gift of sobriety, not you
have no matters. He's not gonna give you a gift.
So I started praying on my knees for God to
keep me clean and sober. But the moment my knees
got to forty five degrees, I started to take back
my own will, which I can do on any given day.
It's either God's will or Steve's will. Who I feed wins,
who I starved dies. Right now I'm doing good in

(30:45):
this meeting. Steve's doing, he's dying. God's will's winning. That's
why I need meetings. People say, you got twenty four years,
you still need meetings. You got thirty seven years. Yeah,
I need meetings. I'm a mental patient. I was just
had a plan to take over Woodinville yesterday. My dead
doing Woodenville wrong. We'll put this circle. What kind of

(31:07):
a moron makes a circle in the middle of Woodenville.
My wife's like, you probably need a meeting. You should
not be on the planning committee of any traffic situations.
You got one eye, don't worry about if they have
a circle. All right, I need to get to a meeting. Honey,

(31:29):
you're right. I come up with this plan. I'm gonna
get drunk one more time, but I need some money.
And I appreciate the young people that go out without money.
I appreciate that. That's great. You guys are overachievers. I'm
not one of those guys that can go out on
a run with no money. That's the new thing. People

(31:49):
leave my treatment center. I go, where are you going?
We're going on a run? I go, you got no money?
Then we'ill figure it out. That doesn't not seem like
a good plan to me. It's Florida, it's one hundred degrees.
You got no sh is where are you going? You
ain't gonna make it to the end of the block.
But I called up my wife, who I was not
allowed to call, and I called her and I asked
her for one hundred and ninety nine dollars and she

(32:11):
gave it to me. I was thirty days sober. It
turns out an alan On they have a rule if
the attict wants to get high, we don't stand in
their way because we want to know exactly what they're
doing right away. So if she needed to follow through
on the divorce paper, she could and her sponsor set
me up, which I think is wrong. And they gave

(32:35):
me one hundred and ninety nine dollars worth thirty days
of sobriety, and I rushed to the phone store because
I told her I needed it for the phone, so
I had to call her from that phone so that
she wouldn't tell the halfway house owner that I was
on a run. And I say to the guy behind
the counter, look at God. This God is so good,
bringing hendy. Know. God is so good, Robert, you better

(32:56):
raise your hand. You know. God so good. I didn't
even believe in him, but he believed in me. The
guy behind the counter at the phone store, who I said,
I need to be out of here in fifteen minutes,
and I need to have the cheapest cell phone you have.
And I needed to be working because I need to
call my wife and tell her that I'm going to
a meeting. The guy behind the counter says, to be Stevie,

(33:17):
b I saw you yesterday at the victory meeting. Welcome back.
Let's go have a cup of coffee. Step two came
to believe a power greater than myself could restore me
to sound. And the God's amazing. He throws life preservers
at us all the time, doesn't hey Kirk. Sometimes he
throws us by us combs out. He throws it on us.

(33:38):
Sometimes he whacks us with it, and the guy behind
the counter drew. He stands up and he goes Stevie
B welcome home. I saw you yesterday in the victory meeting.
He's still sober today. I'm still sober today. He's got
twenty five years. I got twenty four years next month.
And that awesome. And my wife invited me to come
back and live in the house. Eleven months later. I

(34:00):
didn't pick up. I'm on my knees, thanking God. And
when I got up off my knees, I figured it
was my first night in the house. And I was
going to turn the mattress over because it seemed lumpy
because I hadn't been there in a year. And when
I turned the mattress over, there's my stash. You don't
know what stash is, Oh, your alcohol in one area,

(34:23):
like a whole stash of alcohol in one area. And
I and I and I had the power to call
her and say, honey, there's this stuff right here. And
she was crying, and I was crying, and I want
to be serious, for a second, I was crying because
for the first time I knew I was really in
when no one's around and you do the right thing,

(34:44):
that's called integrity. Because I'm amazing when everyone's watching, carry
my Bible, when everybody's watched, carry my big book, page
fifty two. But when no one's watching, and I call
her and I tell her, honey, this some stuff up here.
We need to get it out of the house. And

(35:05):
she's crying because it she knows. We got a shot.
I had eleven months. I came out here to San
Francisco and did the third step with my sponsor. It
was a little weird because my sponsors said we're going
to meet in a hotel room in San Francisco, where
I get on our knees. It was a little weird,
just like that didn't even give me a chance to
think about it. He said, if you're willing to go
to a link again. But I said, okay, if this

(35:25):
is what we have to do, is what we have
to do. And we held hands on our knees in
a hotel room in San Francisco. We did the third step. Prayer, God,
I offer myself to THEE to build with me and
to do with me as Thou will relieve me of
the bondage of me. Relieve me of the bondage of
myself that I better do. Thy will take away my difficulties,

(35:46):
that victor over them may bear witness to those I
would help of Thy power that love in thy way
of life. Lord, move me out of the way so
I can help your people. If you keep me sober, Lord, Lord,
I'm I'm a bonafide drug addict. I'm a bonafide alcoholic.
I'm a bona fide sex addict. If you keep me
from those three things, I will serve you full time, forever,
one day at a time. People say the third step

(36:07):
is just a People make a mockery of the third step.
They don't know the Big Book about old timers. Think
they know the old the Big Book because they're old times.
That don't mean anything, just means they're old. I don't
give people respect because they have old time, sobriety if
they're nasty. The third step is not just the precursor

(36:30):
to the first step, which is a lot of the
main speakers around the country say that all the third
step is is your decision to do the fourth step. Well,
why don't we read it. Let's see if that's what
it sounds like, don't worry. I'm not gonna do all
the steps, take it easy. I hate when people do that.
But on page sixty two, when it talks about the
third step, it says, we had a new employer being

(36:52):
all powerful. If we stay close to him and performed
his work well, all sorts of remarkable things follow. I'm
just gonna stop there. I'm not don't worry. I'm not
gonna get in. Don't worry. It was like one of
the greatest hidden secrets of the Alcoholics Anonymous Program, the
Big Book. Made a decision to turn my will and

(37:14):
my life over to the care of God. Doing a
third step means I am making a decision to turn
my will and my life over the care of God.
Right there, to the best of my ability. It means
exactly that, don't dumb it down. You couldn't even get
into AA in nineteen thirty nine if you didn't get
if you couldn't stay at doctor Bob's house unless you
got on your knees in Anne's bed and gave your
life to God. I know a lot of my I

(37:42):
know a lot of my stuff's not popular, but it
doesn't matter. There's one that has all power. That one
is God. May you find them now. This is what
worked to me. My life is happy, joyson free. I
have an amazing life. I don't make a ton of money.
I only have one eye. I got a lot of
different problems going on, and my life is happy, joyous
and free. I counted all joy I got an amazing wife.

(38:04):
I'm gonna tell you about my amazing son. I got
an amazing career. I get to help people full time.
We get to help people full time. We get to
help people. It's incredible. My best thinking would have had
me wound up in a brothel in Tijuana. That's where
I was going, as a matter of fact, before I

(38:30):
married this beautiful, incredible, godly, honest. My wife is every
one of the cub Scout boy Scout things, every She's honest,
she's everything. I never have to worry about where she's going.
She's not thinking about other men. As far as I know,

(38:52):
she's the most amazing person. Her name is Sandra. But
I wanted to marry a girl named Diamond. Her stage
name was Diamond. Before I met Sandra, I was dating
a girl named Diamond. That's what I was gonna do.

(39:15):
But God, she would have been coming home at four
to five in the morning every night, Diamond. That was
the life of that I was gonna have. This is
I didn't make this up. This is a true story.
I wanted a wife with a stage name. God gave
me the most incredible, beautiful, loving, honest Karen wife.

Speaker 3 (39:38):
But God, page eighty five, eighty six, eighty seven, and
eight of the Big Book alcohols Now it's one of

(39:59):
the greatest daily meditations we can have.

Speaker 1 (40:02):
And just in case you don't know exactly those pages
when I said is it starts off with on awakening,
let us think about the twenty four hours a day ahead.
It actually gives us the plans that we should do
every day on awakening, and then the next page has
a when we retire at night. It gives us a
set of directions for every day so that we can

(40:23):
try to stay out of our own way. My wife
and I did something different today. Every morning I wake
up and I say, I want to get on my
knees and I want to pray to God. Most mornings
I do. But the second thing I do is I
pick this up. The second thing I do is I
picked this up. Today. We did something different. Did you

(40:45):
guys do something different today. Being convinced of this. We
were at step three A that we're alcoholic and could
not manage your own lives. If you're an alcoholic or
if you have a problem with drinking and you cannot
manage your own life, raise your hand. I'm watching you

(41:07):
out of the corner of my high one eye. Okay,
most of you know that you have you cannot manage
your own life. Okay, if you know that probably no
human power could relieve you of that problem, raising a hand,
and that God could and wouldn't if he were sought.
That God has the power to step into life. Resing hand.

(41:31):
That's the first three steps. Some of you guys didn't
want to raise your hand beause you're like, I don't
want to join this cult. No, join, It's a good
time to join because the cult that you're in, I
know the end of the story, and it doesn't end well. Jales,
institutions and death and sometimes slowly. The culture in this
is another cult. This cult is you're gonna have about
life beyond your wildest journal. You're gonna have things happen

(41:54):
to you that you can't even imagine. You're gonna meet
people around the world that you would never met. You're
gonna go to places that you are I netalily wouldn't go.
You're gonna have a freedom and a new happiness. You're
gonna help people for free and for fun. You're gonna
have a purpose in life. You're gonna know you're not alone.
Don't worry. I'm gonna get to some more debauchery stories

(42:16):
and some craziness. But I just want to say you today.
You have this thing in your town. This is the
separate part of the story. You have something called the
Friar Sauna in your town. You know what it is.
It's cold plunges and sauna on a wine in an orchard.
I don't know if you know how blessed you are
in Washington. This is one of the most beautiful places

(42:37):
on the planet. It's like, I think God spent more
time in this area than he has anywhere else. And
this morning it was it was cold rain, and I
said to saying, I'm still going to the sauna at
this orchard, and I'll wear them. I'll have a number.
I'm going in cold water anyway, it doesn't really matter.
I'm going in freezing cold water. I'll just have an

(42:57):
umbrella where as they get in the cold water. And
I was. I got on this property, it illuminated with
the with the light of God. And I don't know
if you ever saw the movie Gladiator where the one
where the wife is already in heaven and he's gonna
go to heaven and she's walking along heaven, or he's
walking along heaven and he goes like this with his

(43:19):
hands into the into the bushes, and it's heaven. I
don't know. I forgot what they call heaven in the
gladiatorybody know the word silly or something some word? You
know what you have that here in wooden Bille, you
grow wine here, but you shouldn't do that. But but
it's heaven. And you know, if I was drinking, I

(43:40):
would have never seen that. If I was drinking, I
would have talked about gold and cold plunging. And I
would have woke up hung over at one today, or
or nasty at nine, or resentful at six am. I
would have been a sectis Washington is so cold and
it gets dark if far clock in the afternoon. And

(44:01):
what kind of people are these people with this circle
in the middle of the street. Who makes ru Who
knows who's going in that circle. Anybody can just start
off in a circle. Nobody there shocking, fracking shock, And
do you know that there's people in AA they still
act like that. There's thirty years sober, forty years sober,

(44:21):
and they look at the whole world like like who
put that damn circle in the middle of the street.
That's what I am without God. And so my wife
and I we want to have a baby. When I
was I know, you guys know the story, but it's
just my story. I just got to tell you we
want to have a baby on the ten year shober
at the time, and she's ten years of allen On

(44:42):
and she's got a sponsor on allen On. I have
a sponsor in AA and I'm sponsoring guys. We want
to have a baby. We can't have a baby, And
we get eggs donated from Columbia and we go to
inn in vitro perilization clinics. So good, look he's gonna everything.
It's a blessing. It's a blessing. It's a blessing. It's
a blessing. It's a blessed. We can't get we can't
have a baby. And then and then we finally get

(45:04):
pregnant and we lose the baby. We have a babym
built in the house. We're crushed. Took us five years
to get pregnant and four months to lose the baby.
We just can't. I came to my head around it.
I'm taking means into treatment centers, I'm speaking all of it.
But I'm in church, I'm in ministry, I'm speaking in

(45:25):
treatment centers. I'm taking five meetings a week into detoxes.
I'm doing all the stuff that you guys do, and
we can't have a baby, and then we lose on
the bit. And I just don't understand it because well
meeting people told me in alcoholics Anonymous that God only
gives you what you can handle. But that's not true.
That's not a true thing. It's just something we say.

(45:45):
It's actually that life gives you terrible things sometimes and
God gives you the strength to get through it. That's
actually the truth. I mean, God didn't give me alcoholism.
It wasn't his choice to say, you know what, let's
make Steve addicted to everything, including pornography, tobacco, gambling, sex, alcohol, drugs,
and one not. We're gonna give them all that no,

(46:05):
God doesn't do that, Life does that, and that God
gives us the strength to get through it. And now
so we sign up for an adoption agency and then
we get kicked out of the adoption and say, we
got asked to leave the adoption agency because of my
record with picking up the prostitute coming out of the
meeting of alcoholics anonymous, which my wife didn't know about.

(46:25):
So he calls and says, a man like your husband
cannot You may not know this part of the story, Brian,
A man like your husband cannot adopt in the state
of Florida because he picked up a prostitute. She gets
all the information in one call. You're not getting a baby.
You're married to a degenerate. This is what he did
when you were dating. In one call. And she doesn't leave,

(46:48):
and she stays faithful, and she says we're going to
have a baby. And she keeps going to church, and
we keep going to church, and we keep going to AA,
and she keeps going to ALAN. And that night we
lost the baby. We were in AA because you got
showed me that we don't have to go through anything alone.
And I have a friend whose daughter is murdered and
she's chopped up in pieces, and he goes to the
prison and he forgives her in AA. And I have

(47:11):
another friend whose wife was murdered and she was put
into a suitcase. His name is Mike the Mechanic, and
he stays sober, and we lose a baby, and we
both go to meetings because you've taught us that we
don't have to do anything alone. But then there's a
person in alcoholics Anonymous who knows this woman by the
name of Mindy, a Jewish woman that he says she

(47:32):
does home studies, and maybe she'll come to your house
and maybe she'll do a home study. And so we
call it Mindy and ask her to do a home study,
which means maybe we'll have a baby if Mindy can
approve it. But by this time, my wife and I
are over the top Christians. What that means is we
have a giant picture of Jesus on the wall. And
when I mean giant, I mean definitely giant. Jesus is
on the wall, and we also have statues and sayings

(47:57):
and holy water coming from the sprinkler system. You know,
we're definitely over the top. And I say to Sandy,
Sandy let's just put Giant Jesus in the closet. We're
not gonna, you know, but we'll just be undercovered. Turn
the car around with the bumper stickers. Let's take the
t shirts off, Let's take the ay she's off her head.
Let's just try to appear normal for an hour. And

(48:17):
she says, we're not going to pretend who we're not.
And Mindy comes in. She looks at Giant Jesus and
she says, do you think that God gave you another chance?
Let me say we know he did. So she says,
how could I not give you another chance? And she
signs off on a baby for us, and get a
baby in a couple of weeks. I'm going We meet
our baby on his first day of his life, and

(48:40):
the mom, his birth mom, says, what would you like
to name your son? And we say Joshua. She says,
why Joshua? We say in the Bible Joshua twenty four fifteen.
Says as for me and my house, we choose to
serve a ruld And she said, well, I'm not religious,
and she says, we said, well, just meet your son.

(49:01):
Our son's going to grow up in a godly home.
And our son has grown up in a godly home.
It's been fourteen years. We've had a life beyond our
wildss dreams. It hasn't been easy, It's never going to
be easy, but it's certainly fun. Every single time we
go to a place like this and people open up

(49:22):
their homes to us, and we travel around alcoholics noms
now and on meetings, we just we just pinch ourselves.
I would have set I would have settled for a
woman named Diamond and a life beyond no nobody's dreams. Well,
God said, you know what I want to I want
you to have more son. I want you, I want

(49:43):
you to do the steps. I want you to help people.
I want you to sponsor people. You're going to open
up a treatment center down the roads and be faith
based treatment center. It's going to be Jc's House, and
I'm going to give you the name right now. It's
called Jac's House. And you open it up. And people
told me, you can't open up a faith based treatment center.
Nobody's coming to a faith based treatut center. You can
have faith based track, but you can't have a whole
treatment center where everybody in there has to be subject

(50:05):
to your faith. We're doing it. We've been open twelve years.
People come from all over the country. Whether they're ready
or not, they at least have an open mind when
they get there. Right now, we're opening in Hollywood, and
my son is with our brother in law and her
niece and his and her husband. And that guy was

(50:28):
a guy from my halfway house. The guy that my
son is with right now was a degenerate drug addict,
the worst I've ever had. And we're at a Bible
study and her niece comes in from Columbia, the nicest
girl you've ever met other than my wife, the nicest

(50:49):
girl you've ever met. And he's at one side of
the Bible study with the degenerate people from my halfway house,
and she's on the other side with family members. And
I never let the two go to get her, and
I told her don't even look in that area. And
she comes on and she goes, that's what Spanish is.

(51:12):
And I see her talking to my wife in Spanish,
and I see her say and I know she's talking
about one of the boys at the Bible setup, and
she's talking about the worst one of them all, the
guy that just relapsed last week sold his bike for drugs,
wound up on the corner with no pants. That guy,

(51:36):
I said to her sobrino, which means niece in Spanish.
That's like one of the six words I know. I
go listen. That guy's the worst any guy. But that
guy she's like. And five years later she marries that guy,

(51:57):
that guy who was the worst drug act that I've
ever known, who was not responsible enough to have forty
dollars in his pocket without using it. But God and
alcoholics anonymous went down to Colombia, where our drug of
choice is me with four thousand dollars in his pocket.

(52:18):
And when you get on your knees, what was it?
Coolian proposed? That word is so offensive to my spirit.
Even to this day, it's hard for me to get
him out of my own proposed to her in Colombia
on his own. He got on a plane with four
thousand dollars and went down and proposed to her niece.

(52:39):
And now they're the most unbelievable godly people you've ever
She was always godly. He's the most godly person. He's
got eleven years of sobriety and he's taking care of
our son. And to be honest, with you. He's a
better parental type of role model than I am, because
he's strict. That's what God and alcoholics AnonymOS do. He's

(53:02):
a deacon in the church. We trust him with our son.
He's got all the keys to our house. He knows
all our bank accounts, he knows everything. If I die today,
he knows how to get into the safe so that
Sandy has everything. Not that there's that much, but if
there was, and I'm gonna end up with this part

(53:22):
of the story. You want to settle for sober, you
want to settle for sober and miserable. That's your choice.
There's plenty of sober miserable people in AA, but at
any meeting you'll be able to pick them out. They
got those switchy faces. They look like cabbage patch people,
and they're sitting there and they got squissy faces, and
they'll never smile, no matter how funny this speaker is,

(53:44):
no matter how route rage this figures. They sit there
like this. Bleeding deacons look like they're spiritually constipated. They're
at every meeting. Some of you look like that. Tonight
they're going to tell you have those faces. Not all
of you, but a couple of you. He a spiritual
animals what you need and if that's what you want,

(54:07):
is that's why you're staying in AA's. If that's the
best you have, fine, I can't stay sober for that.
If I was miserable in AA I wouldn't stay. I'm
gonna tell you that much. This is not a game
for me. If this wasn't enjoyable and fun and meaningful,
and if I wasn't if this wasn't about the next person,
if this wasn't about my buddy coat. And I'm not
saying you're an nockey, because I know I'm not saying
you are. But I love you and you and it's

(54:29):
your second day, right, I'm not trying to make you
feel uncomfortable, but I love you. Right. If you could
get this not maybe not to but Kaylee a couple
of years ago, now she's got a year. I love
this thing. I think this is the greatest thing that's
ever happened to me. But some people all they want
is sober. They sponsor miserably, they act miserably that how

(54:51):
much did you spend on the cookies? And they live
to destroy business meetings. Their whole existence is to get
to the business meeting so that they can stick a
needle in your side. That's AA without God. You know

(55:17):
that this year the first time the International Convention, the
first time in the history of the International Conventions, they
took the Lord's Prayer out of the International Collage. You
know you were there, right, weren't you there? We can't
let non godly people win. Where I'm from in New York,
they took out both prayers. The home group in my town,

(55:38):
they are no prayer. It's no prayer to no prayer.
I went there and says, this is a prayer to
prayer meeting. They go not in this meeting. I said, well,
what's the point there is one that has all God
that you find? Well, there is one that there is
one that has all power that want is God. May
you can find them. Now, what's the point to stay sober?
Only to stay sober you've missed only the first half

(56:01):
of the first step even has anything to do with alcohol.
Everything else is about the joy of living. We have
the joy of living. We make shirts, we high five
each other, we hug each other, we act inappropriately, we
make the ten step. On that we apologize. We go
to the next day we get on our knees, we
do our even inventory. We call the person and say

(56:22):
I'm sorry, I was wrong, I said something ridiculous and
get to the next meeting and do it all over again.
And for some of you that sounded attractive. That's attracted
to me. And then we try to bring God to
the next person. But some people come to AA and
then they hear that you can have a life beyond

(56:45):
your wildish dreams, and they realize it's a buffet and
they settle for cruton. That's not us. We're not selling
for crouton. Cruton means you go to the buffet and
you stop at cruton. It's food, and you can see them.
They're kruton. They got the creuton on their plate, they
got the fork and the knife, and how you doing

(57:05):
hanging in there? I want to have a life beyond
my walls drinks. God wants to bless us abundantly, wants
to have a relationship with us, wants to heal us
here or in the next life. He wants to have it.

(57:26):
He wants us to have it all. You know, next
month will be twenty four years from my wife and I.
We are so blessed, our son's fourteen. He's he's got issues.
My son's got a lot of issues. He's never seen
his daddy drink, you know what. A couple of weeks ago.

(57:47):
He've never seen me. You know, of course he's never
seen me drink. I have twenty four years, he's got
fourteen years. In one of the stories by then, this
last thing I'll see in this one of the stories
by us, they sell drinks that look like drinks. It's
whole foods and they have a non alcoholic no O beer.
Don't get me nothing like that. It's like flour drinks.

(58:07):
You know, it's made of like camm you know, like
that kind of stuff. In this area, you probably know
you probably drink a lot of that kind stuff. And
so I pick up one of these little fruity cans
that's made out of two lips and all those kindsoff
and in this store we go to when no one

(58:28):
buys it, and a lot of people in South Florida
don't buy drinks made out of dandy lai and two lips.
They put it on the dollar rack. And my son
and I after the gym, we love to go to
what I love to go to the dollar rac and
he tolerates it. We go to the dollar Ac and
we get one of these fruity drinks and my son
picks it up. And he's fourteen. He says, Dad, let

(58:49):
me read that. He's never seen me drink. He knows
if I do drink, there's going to be a problem.
He knows that he's seen my friend die last week
of alcoholism. Pastor forty five years old, gorgeous young man,
brilliant with the ten year old. He's seen so many
of my friends die. You picked up the can, he says, Dad,

(59:10):
let me read it to make sure. Did you know
that he did that? And the reason this is fine?
This like dandelions your finals. Guys. I want to say,
it's been an amazing blessing to be with you. Alcoholics.
Anonymous changed our lives. I haven't thought of taking and drink,

(59:31):
and I can't tell you how long. That's not one
of the promises, but that happened to me. I can
go to any situation. I've pulled people out of places
that they're doing My drug of choice. If your heart
is ripe, you can go in there and you can
help anybody. The joy of living is carrying the twelfth
step Michael, you know that that's the joy of our living.
This whole thing is about the next guy. And you

(59:51):
know what, the newcomer is the most important person because
without you, we don't have a purpose. So you are
the most and we do love you. And if you
don't love yourself, don't worry. We're gonna love you long
enough until you love yourself. And every single person that
stays in alcoholics anonymous that finds God that I know.
I'm not saying people don't have God. I just don't

(01:00:12):
know them. Every person that stays and finds God does
every single one of them a happy choice of free,
happy joy of free, Happy Josey free, happy Joyce of free.
I'm not sureing about you, but you look happy, joy
and free. Happy Joe have a choice. God has never
over promised and underdelivered, but alcohol always over promises and

(01:00:34):
always under delivery. I have a life beyond my wildest
dreams today. But God is not a respector of persons.
So when I say I have a life beyond my
wildest dreams, I mean every single person that works this program,
every single person that carries a twelve step, every single
person that has God in their heart, every single person
I've ever met has the joy of living. And if

(01:00:58):
I did my job right tonight and I continue to
point to him, then I've carried the message over the
twelve steps. Nobody has to feel like they're alone anymore,
because you're not. This whole program is a magical program.
It's an incredible program, and it's a program when we
get to do this together. God bless you guys. I'll

(01:01:19):
see you in two years from now.