May 22, 2025 • 29 mins
This comedic duo brings laughter through their rapid-fire banter and classic routines. Their chemistry and timing have cemented their place in entertainment history.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:12):
Yeah, the Abitant Costello program brought to you by Campbell
the cigarette that's first in the service, Campbell's Stay Fresh, cool, smoking,
and slow burning because they're packed to go around the world.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
This is the music of Freddie.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Ridge, Teddy's Orchestra, the songs of Connie Haynes, Tonight's guests,
Sally Eilers and Allen Hale, Water Brother Star of Adventures
of Mark Twain and starring Bud Abbott and Little Costa.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
All Right, what's all the excitement?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Oh a big service? Just timis town and I've been
out watching the paray. Why to prey?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
First tim the elephants, that's antimate clowns, And that's the clowns.
Came the furiful Lady good Diaiver on a big white horse.
Speaker 5 (01:03):
WHOA wait a minute now what came after the Lady
good Diver?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Me and every sailor at California.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Castell. Aren't you a little old to be following parade?
Speaker 6 (01:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Not me, haven't. I've prayed about circus breaks. I love
those bear galliphants. Quote. Some people like to be firemen.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
And squirt water trudea nose, But I'd like to be
an elephant and squirt water through.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
My nose uncomped.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
All right, never mind, never mind the circuit. Oh I
get dead lay all right, never mind the.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Fuck, never mind the circus.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
We have other things to do.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Oh, yes, yes, but I can't forget about the circus, Sabbath.
I come from a family of circus people. My uncle
Rallo was the world's greatest tightrope.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Walker until he broke his neck.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Well how did he break his neck?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
One mic? He was tight and the rope wasn't ship
neck crack, icy icy. I had uncle. He was six
feet tall.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
He used to stick his head in the lion's mouth.
Watch his name now we call him Shorty.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
All right, Gottella, I've heard enough. Let's change this stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Oh, if you're talking about the happiest days of my life?
What's fun I used to have in a side show?
I always used to tickle the tattooed lady.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
With a feather.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
You tickle the tattooed lady?
Speaker 6 (02:15):
What for?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
To see moving pictures?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
But she finally had to leave the circus of it.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You mean the tattooed lady quit?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
No, she had her face lifted and to throw all
the pictures off focus.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Got della, Now, don't try the kid me. I don't
believe you were ever near a circus.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Oh yeah, well, here's a picture of me taking them
with a you bangy girl, let me see it.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Wait a minute, I see the ubangy girl, but I
don't see you.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I'm sitting in the shade of her lower lipt.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Love Gostell, Just what did you do with the circus?
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I used to train the wild zebra.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
You trained wild zebras.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I don't make me laugh.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You don't even know what a zebra is.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Oh no, a hebra is a black horse with Venetian blinds.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Well, hello, fellow, Oh it's Ken Nile.
Speaker 7 (02:57):
What's cooking?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Boy?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Nothing's cooking, Niles. You brought that a roman? Will you
na na out?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I'll cut that out, say Ken. Costello is just telling
me that there's a circus in town. Did you see
the parade?
Speaker 7 (03:07):
Indeed I did, But I know all about that circus.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
In fact, my lovely wife helped bring the circus to Hollywood.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
What does she do pull one of the wagons.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Now, look here, Costello, you can't compare my wife to
a horse.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You're right here. He is are too long? Costello?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Will you be quiet? What did you mean? Ken about
your wife bringing the circus to town.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Well, but my wife is co chairman of the big
Hollywood benefit carnival and circuit. He's been up every night
preparing for this big carnival. That's why she has those
little crows feet under her eyes.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Little crows feet.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Brother of those crows must have been wearing baseball shoes.
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Oh I heard that remark, you overgrown hippopotamus.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I sell it for you to hees. Yeah, Castello, what
are you wearing?
Speaker 7 (03:55):
Ow?
Speaker 6 (03:56):
Never mind, there's an there's an army man.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Outside who wants to you a man. What does he want?
Speaker 6 (04:01):
He wants you to replace a tank or active duty?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
How do you see what you start at?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Costello?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Always fighting? Nobody will like you.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Oh, I don't worry about that. Rabbitt un the condor
drive it crows on people.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
The only trouble is Costello.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
A little too much of you grew on you.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh you sure stole him that time. No, you excuse you,
don't you?
Speaker 7 (04:25):
Oh, darling, you're wonderful to me. You're the only woman
in the world.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
Oh, and Ketami love, you're the only man of the world.
Speaker 7 (04:32):
You're the only woman in the world, and you're.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
The only ladies and gentlemen. You have just been listening
to Adam and Eve.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh stop it, please, goddella.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
Missus Niles, Ken was just telling us that you're a
co chairman of the Hollywood Benefit COMMICCE.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
That's right, mister rabbit, And I'm asking all the movies
stars to donate their services.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Well, I don't know exact well I can do, Missus Niles.
But Costello here was just telling me that.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
He used to be with the circus. Costello with a circuits.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
What cage was he in? What cage was I in?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I was in there with a little I wasn't in anything.
I used to manage somebody. I used to manage the
great Ministrul.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He was the greatest ice diver in the world. I
didn't know. I had to continue.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
He used to die five hundred feet from the top
of the tent into.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
A pail of water.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Die five hundred feet into a pail of water.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Nobody can do that.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
He did it once.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
Never mind what he did, Love Costello, never mind what
he did.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
What can you do in this circus? For example, are
you an equestrian?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I'm an American?
Speaker 6 (05:54):
No, No, Costello, Now, how would you like to ride
their back.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What from all those people?
Speaker 5 (06:01):
Listen you dummy, Do you know anything about trick riding?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Oh you mean you mean am I an Equestrianne? Well,
that's different a habit.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I'm the first trick riding of a song. Well, one
time in the search a side rode two horses.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Standing up, one foot on one horse and you have
a foot on the other horse.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
And what happened?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Suddenly an elephant came between us.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
One horse went one way, you have a horse went,
you had away.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I'll bet that was a laugh laugh I thought.
Speaker 8 (06:25):
I split shut up.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Rattling the equator off the west coast of South America
on the Galapagos Islands, guarding the Pacific approaches to the
Panama Canal, to American stationed in the Galapagos Islands, to
the United States bases and our posts throughout the world.
Go camel cigarette, Buy the million, buy the ton.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
For camels are first with men in all.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
The services, according to actual sales records, and the camel
cigarettes that reached the Pacific Island as well as the
camels that reach you are fresh, cool smoking, and slow
burning because they're packed to go around the world, both.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
At home and overseas. More people want camels.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Now, more people want the fresh cigarette, the cigarette with
more flavor. Son't remember if your store is sold out today.
Camel cigarettes are worth asking for again. See yes camel cigarettes.
Camel standard of cost meer tobaccos is the same for soldier,
for civilian.
Speaker 7 (07:31):
Anywhere in the world.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Many rich on the orchestras are many requests for speak low.
Speaker 9 (09:15):
Hey, hey, step this way from the midmnement circle show.
Get your tickets rounds oh, every bustle, and right over
here we have Jojo the dog face boy. Hey, you
fat man, step over and see Jojo the dog Faced
boy friend.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Hey, I wouldn't there for a ship dog face boy?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Say, ain't Julu Costello?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
You can go him for nothing?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I heard of see the wall freaks. Never mind him.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Come on, Costello, We're expected at the manager's office.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Missus Niles told.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Her we'd be here.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
Wait a minute, Oh here it is. Pardon me, miss
we'd like to say Costello.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Look what is Sally Eilers?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
See hell Sally? My name's Lou Costello.
Speaker 10 (10:05):
No, don't bother about that can happen to anybody.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
You fellows are just in time. The show's about to.
Speaker 10 (10:10):
Go on in our lion tamer quit Costello?
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Do you know anything about Ryan so I know anything
about lions?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Of course I know a lot of things about lions.
What time I went line hunt in Africa with my
brother and I brought back a stuff line?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What was the lion stuffed with my brother?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And another thing? Kid? You ain't getting me in a
cage with no lines.
Speaker 10 (10:31):
But you don't have to be afraid of this lion.
He was raised on milk, so was I.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
But I eat meat now when I can get it.
Speaker 10 (10:40):
Oh, but this line hasn't any teeth I know, but he.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Could full meet the pieces like Costello.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
This circus is for charity. You mean you won't go
into that lion cage?
Speaker 7 (10:50):
No?
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Why should I.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
Risk you security and beauty?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Perhaps lion taming is too dangerous.
Speaker 10 (10:56):
However, you can help with one of the confessions. Come
over here with me, now.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Walk this way.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I can't walk that way?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Why not?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
You're wearing high yield?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
All right?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Shut up, will you please? We'll find out what's going
on around him? Now what do you want us to do?
Over here? Sally?
Speaker 10 (11:14):
Well, Bud, you and I will stand out of the
counter and sell these baseballs.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
And Cattello. You stick your head through that hole in
the convas. And what am I going to see you
that hole?
Speaker 10 (11:22):
Well you might see some big tars.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
You mean, like Canjo Rodgers, a lot of chinate hole.
Speaker 10 (11:26):
No, no, no, more like a Jupiter in Mars.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Watch studio, toutay work for.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
I know that heady Lamarge, but that Jupiter.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I know, but don't don't be stupid.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Go ahead, now, come on, be a nice little boy.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Stick your head through the canvas, bad boy. That's fine,
all right, folks, step right up. Three balls for lime.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Hit the little boy on the head, step right, Hit
boy on the head?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Spirit hit what boy on?
Speaker 6 (11:58):
What with?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What ball?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
We're talking about you, Constello?
Speaker 10 (12:03):
Yes, the people throw these baseballs at your head. If
they hit you, they get a box of candy.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
I get a box box of aspis. First wort was funny.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
What you know what you do, lou when you see
the ball coming your dark?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah? But suppose I forget the tack.
Speaker 10 (12:17):
Oh, we've taken care of that.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
We finished you with a safety cap.
Speaker 10 (12:20):
If the ball hits you, it bounces.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Off the cap.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Yes, ma'am, But did you ever take into consideration what
makes the let a ball bounce off the let of
cap my hand?
Speaker 7 (12:32):
Why?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Why don't be silly? You can't get hurt?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Oh no, what happened to the guy who had this
job before I took it?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Oh? He here he comes, now step aside.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Let the stretcher by stretcher.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Stretcher, he haven't. I'm gonna ask this guy on a
stretcher question. Hey, buddy, do those baseballs hurt you? Has
your little head feel?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
My little head? Deal's fine? Oh good, in fact, ideal,
absolutely normal. Oh that's so nice. I'm so glad you
came to see me, Miss Lamar.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Miss Lamar, that's all I want to know.
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Flare me now, don't be such a colored costello. Put
your head back in that hole and I'll throw a
few practice balls. Get ready now, I think comes the
first one.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Costello.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Get out, get up off your knees, and stop playing
with those marbles.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Watch marbles. I'm picking up my teeth.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Miss Tylers, would you mind scuffy back please? You are
standing on the tooth that I'll wait ahead.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Of This is for charity.
Speaker 10 (13:36):
I'll go ahead, Bud throwing out the ball.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
It'll attack the crowd.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Now it's the matter.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Why aren't the sirens blowing?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Why should the sirens blow?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
There's a fluck out?
Speaker 10 (13:52):
Oh Costello, did he really hit you?
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Did he hit me with a slip on my head
and hair? Cost me? Tuble hiati? It's this job, Sally,
get another four.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
You know that's a fine thing, the fine thing coming
from you, Costello.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
This is a benefit and for charity, and they.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Need a hard headed man like you, and you want
to crawl out from under. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I guess I'm a greet I'll say you are.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
You could make hundreds of people happy.
Speaker 10 (14:24):
Think of the fun they could have throwing baseballs at
your head.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But no, you're selfish.
Speaker 10 (14:30):
You want to quit and spoil their pleasure.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I'm a regular kill joy.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Yes, you are a killjoy. Think of the mothers and
fathers who.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Bring their little kiddies. It's little keeny weeny kitties down
Hit'll laugh at you getting hit on the head. But
do you care about the kiddies?
Speaker 5 (14:49):
Do you care about the little keene weedy kiddies?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
No, no, not you.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I'm always thinking of myself.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, I'll say you are. Oh I love ba.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Hey, Yeah, but please don't tell my stuff, Master Rummy,
Well I should, oh please don't. If you so, he
won't take me to see the Lebret tarpits.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Sally, Sally, Oh it's missus now, Sally.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
My view, I just came to the main tent, the
wrestling matches about to start, and something terrible to happened.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
No matters.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
You forget the full o, the pip, you forget the
rights or something.
Speaker 6 (15:29):
What kind of hypnistance, nothing of the thought. We arranged
for a professional wrestler to take all comers, and he's
broken his arm. We must get a substitute immediately, someone
with Tamina's strength and courage.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
And that brand is Rucastello.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yes, that man is cut it out.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
I have a thanks gonna wrestle. My brother was a
rushfl and he's got a terrible califlower ear.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh that's nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Lots of people have califlower.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Ears, yes, but his is cream.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Wait a minute, I've got an idea Ruffalo. They'll announce
you wrestle anybody. Then I'll jump into the ring first
and we'll pretend to wrestle.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
That's all there is to it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I gotta fight he rightea repend? Why can't I wrestle
saw the Islands, hope, But.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Lou, that's silly boy.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Don't wrestle with girls.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh she's so young.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
And here's Tonny Hayes. Thanks brand New Shaw for the
first time on the air. Listen to Saltwater Cowboy.
Speaker 11 (16:29):
With that great, big, wonderful man. Where is that fan
coord of cane. He's all water cowboy with the bowl
for his range, just the doll water cowboy and the
(16:53):
hurdy rattle range. He's the random of his country.
Speaker 7 (16:58):
Boever they may be.
Speaker 11 (17:02):
He's all water cowboy.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
U ninety s.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Get long, little nippy, I.
Speaker 11 (17:13):
Can hear my dringer caw. I'm taking you to pasture
in a bar while, Laura, he's a sollub earthboy and
he's long and licking. Len He's a doll water cowboy
(17:33):
and united, said Marie.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Get man.
Speaker 7 (17:40):
Yankee sag from the way.
Speaker 11 (17:45):
I'm gonna rend your talking with a thaw trag you.
Speaker 7 (17:52):
Or you don't have to ry. He will keep your
past green.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Little god, what a camel.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
As a funnel said after a bet on bing Crosby's horses.
Speaker 7 (18:21):
They're guider run all night.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
All day too, and with flat feet. Yes, that's plenty
flat all right, and it can be worse than your cigarette.
If wartime flatness is spoiling your smoking, get camels. If
you're looking for a cigarette that won't go flat no
matter how many you smoke, get camels for more flavor.
(18:45):
You see, camel cigarettes are matchlessly blended of cost dear.
Speaker 7 (18:49):
Tobaccos blended to give them more flavor.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
And more flavor helps cammels hold up keep from going
flat no matter.
Speaker 7 (18:56):
How many you smoke.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Give camel cigarettes the t zone tests. Your taste will
prove to you that camels do have more flavor, and
your throat will give you the last word on camel's smooth,
extra mildness. And remember, camel cigarettes stay fresh, cool smoking,
and slow burning.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Because they're packed. They go around the world.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
See a yeah, yes.
Speaker 7 (19:20):
Camel cigarettes. They're first in the service.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
They've got what it takes, all right, Costello, the ten
is filling up.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Are you all rest for the wrestling match with me? Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I'm already at it.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Coli, I look at these wrestling trunks.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Wait a minute, what kind of trunks of those? What's
that riding across the seat?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
That lights up, Abbott, and what does it say? Come
to joes for dinner.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
What a spread?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
All right? All right, let's get out there. The crowd's waiting.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Hey, look it.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
Remember one thing. When they call for volunteers to wrestle,
me be sure you're the first one to get in
the ring. There's some pretty tough guys out there. I
don't want to rush anyone of them swing shift workers.
Why not, because when they swing I might not shift.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
You wait here in the locker room, Costelle. I'll see
if they're ready.
Speaker 10 (20:11):
Well, but but, Abbott, I've got some wonderful news for you.
We've got a great opponent for Castello to wrestle. I
want you to meet Alan Hale.
Speaker 12 (20:24):
Whoa hello, Bud. Where's that little meatball partner of yours?
I want to bounce him around a little.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
But wait a minute, Alan Costell expects to wrestle me.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oh no, he's my pigeon.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I'm collecting waste.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
That gee, Allen. I don't think Costell is in good shape.
Speaker 7 (20:43):
Oh don't worry.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'll straighten him out.
Speaker 12 (20:46):
I think i'll go in and take a look at
the body.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
But don't let on that I'm wrestling him.
Speaker 12 (20:50):
I want it to come as a pleasant surprise.
Speaker 10 (20:54):
Oh, loom A friend of yours wants to say hello
to you.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
Alan Hale.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Oh hello, alim old boy? Did you come over here
and watch me wrestle? Watch you?
Speaker 7 (21:02):
Why, Costello?
Speaker 12 (21:03):
I want you to feel that I'll be in there
with you every minute. And tell me, Castello, have you
ever had.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Any wrestling experience? Oh?
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Sure, one time I wrestled a champion of an African
Try you banky?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yeah? And he bank me right back? He afcutored at me.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Boy.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Now we can't stay in the locker room.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
The crowd's waiting, Okay, Sally, and don't worry, Abbit.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I won't hurt you one bit.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
That's right, Abbit. He won't play a hand on you.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I don't know what I'm.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Laughing at, but after all, he is our guest.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Let's go Costello into the ring.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Wadlan? Is this OUs o canvas back? Castello?
Speaker 7 (22:01):
The other?
Speaker 9 (22:02):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (22:02):
The tallenger at four hundred and ninety three pounds four
one hundred ninety three pounds, Hey have it. Let's trying
to make you look good, Abbot the Warner rubber Storm
of the Adventures of mort Queen, Mister Allam.
Speaker 10 (22:18):
Hell, Helen Hale, How and hal habit?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
What did you change your name?
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Why did you stop working for water from study Ulifostal?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
What are you making the pictures? You have fetures of
Mark Queen. What's a minute if we can get it?
Why is that framing me?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Hey, I'm supposed to wrestle you, habbit or somebody I
don't know who.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
You're supposed to wrestleabitth no match for you. He's certainly
no match for you. Come on now, CAUs Tello.
Speaker 12 (22:44):
I'm gonna slam you on that canvas, step on your
gizzet and hit you on the head so hard you'll
be wearing your socks for a turtle neck sweater.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Oh yeah, yeah, Fredamore, I seek you can do it.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Come come, boys, let's get home with this wrestling match.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
I'm the referre, and as the referee, there's one thing.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
I insist on a clean fight.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
I want a clean fight, and I want a clean fight.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
And why don't you two guys fights?
Speaker 5 (23:08):
I get kind of thirty buy at Costello, pay attention
to the referee.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
There's another thing.
Speaker 7 (23:13):
As the referee, I am not interested in neither one
of you.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I am playing no favorites, no faymites.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
Do you understand that cross down. O, yes, sir, and
do you understand thats the hell?
Speaker 12 (23:21):
Yeah, Charlie, and tell your sister. I'll be over at
nine o'clock.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Wait a minute, Okale for some the referee, sister.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I'm your nod.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Ahead back there, Costell.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Now remember at the bell, shake hands.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
I don't have to shake hands minus shaking already here.
Speaker 12 (23:35):
Sport Costella, stick out your hand.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Okay, my hands.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Allen, Allen my hand?
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Well, I can always use it for a fly swatter.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
All right, boy? Does the bell?
Speaker 5 (23:47):
Stop to wrestle? Remember one fall takes hall Castello, get
in there and put up a great fight.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Stop the mat, not the match. We are stid it yet,
I know, but I'm winning.
Speaker 12 (23:58):
Let's go, costelloup the floor with you.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Oh yeah, let me tell you something.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
You show me a tough guy, and I'll show you
a coward.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Wow, I'm a tough guy.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Oh I'm a coward.
Speaker 7 (24:10):
Get ready now, Costello.
Speaker 12 (24:12):
Here's a toe hole, here's a leg hoole, here's a headlock.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Here's a hammer lock.
Speaker 7 (24:18):
Here's your arm.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
Thanks, come on, Costello, you're putting up a terrific fight.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Oh my nose, my nose, hell, you're flatting my hind nose.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
How will I smell? Shall I tell him?
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Keep going, Costello, keep going? Get in there.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah, I think I shot him. Worried he's afraid, Well,
what do you mean he's afraid? He's afraid he's gonna
kill me.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Get I'm gonna give you a body slam. Wait a minute, hey, hey, hello,
please stay down there, don't keep jumping up.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Who's jumping up? I'm bossing. Yes, it's flowing the towel
flowing a towel.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Right now, right now.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I don't think I'll be around this way again.
Speaker 12 (25:10):
Don't worry, cuss, tell us and now I got a
little something to to settle this whole match.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
See if you like this hair, plain fizz. You ain't
gonna pilot snass hails.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Put me down.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Here you go way way up in the air.
Speaker 9 (25:23):
Wait a second, put me down, mail, put me.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Down, it's wrong, And round and round you go, and
will I turn out?
Speaker 8 (25:32):
No wing, No.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Cassello, cassello, Castello.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Get up.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
The crowd's waiting for you to get back into the ring.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Get out from une of those seats.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Have But I'm not going into that ring.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
You're not. You're talking like a call it where's your backbone?
Speaker 7 (25:53):
Yeah, cuss Tello, where's your backbone?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I don't know where it is, and I'm not going
back into till I Cashano will be.
Speaker 7 (26:07):
Back in just a month.
Speaker 8 (26:12):
Thanks to the Angs of the Week, Tonight, we salute
Lieutenant Colonel William Laverette of Lightsland, South Carolina, who has
been awarded the Distinguished Service Cross for extraordinary heroism. Leading
a flight of only seven American fighters over the Aegean Sea.
He cited thirty German planes about the bomb and a
light convoy. He attacked immediately, and, knowing that his ammunition
(26:33):
was limited, waited until he was dangerously close to each
German plane before firing. Colonel Laverette personally destroyed seven enemy
planes and damaged to others, while the other six pilots
destroyed ten more without a single loss. In honor of
you and your men, Colonel William Laverette, the makers of
Camels are sending to our soldiers overseas three hundred thousand
(26:55):
camel cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Each of the four Camel radio shows honors the Yank
of the Week send three hundred thousand camel cigarettes overseas
a total of more than a million Campbell sent free
each week in this country, the Traveling Camel Caravan to
thank audiences of more than three and a half million
Yanks with pre shows and pre Campbell's Camel broadcasts go
out to the United States four times a week a
(27:23):
short wave to our men overseas and to South America.
Speaker 7 (27:26):
Listen tomorrow to Gary Moore.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
And Jimmy Duranty, Saturday to Bob Hawk in Thanks to
the Yanks, Monday to Blondie, and next Thursday to Abbott
and Costello with their guests, Miss Linda Darnell.
Speaker 7 (27:37):
And now here's Abbott with the final word.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
Thanks Jim Well, Costello, you certainly made a fool of
yourself tonight. I want you to be very careful next
week with Linda Darnell. Why Abbitt, Well, you know Linda
used to be in the circus business and mind reading
acts in quadable.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
She can read your mind, she can't read my mind.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Brother he ho Hello, oh hello, Linda Abbott, It is
Linda Darnell.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
How Linda? What are you now?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Oh? Well Costello? Did Linda read your mind?
Speaker 7 (28:07):
She must have.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
It's the first time I ever got slapped over the phone.
Good night, Baul, Good night neighbors.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
We couldna do that next week?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Do not have a great abde costolo show, which many.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Rigs off to try an special guests.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Let's Linda Darnell and you're in that murd Get Camlons
for a bar player. If you're looking for a figurette
that won't go flap no matter how many you smoke,
get Camlons for a bar player.
Speaker 7 (28:31):
This is Ken Niles wishing a.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Very pleasant good night from Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
More pipes smoke Prince Albert than any other tobacco in
the whole world.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Here's one reason why.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Prince Albert's no bite treated to keep your pipe from
biting your tongue. Yes, sir, Because Prince Albert's no bite
treated to give you cool tongue, happy smoking comfort. VA's
crimp cut two to pack and burn and draw just right.
The big red two out package of Prince Albert holds
around fifty rich tasting, swell smoking pipe pulls, and believe me,
each one is mighty convincing proof that PA stands for
(29:06):
pipe afield. More pipe smoke, Prince Albert. It's the national
joy smoke.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
This is the National Broadcasting Company
Yeah, the Abitant Costello program brought to you by Campbell
the cigarette that's first in the service, Campbell's Stay Fresh, cool, smoking,
and slow burning because they're packed to go around the world.
Speaker 2 (00:27):
This is the music of Freddie.
Speaker 1 (00:28):
Ridge, Teddy's Orchestra, the songs of Connie Haynes, Tonight's guests,
Sally Eilers and Allen Hale, Water Brother Star of Adventures
of Mark Twain and starring Bud Abbott and Little Costa.
Speaker 2 (00:50):
All Right, what's all the excitement?
Speaker 3 (00:52):
Oh a big service? Just timis town and I've been
out watching the paray. Why to prey?
Speaker 4 (00:57):
First tim the elephants, that's antimate clowns, And that's the clowns.
Came the furiful Lady good Diaiver on a big white horse.
Speaker 5 (01:03):
WHOA wait a minute now what came after the Lady
good Diver?
Speaker 3 (01:06):
Me and every sailor at California.
Speaker 2 (01:14):
Castell. Aren't you a little old to be following parade?
Speaker 6 (01:17):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (01:17):
Not me, haven't. I've prayed about circus breaks. I love
those bear galliphants. Quote. Some people like to be firemen.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
And squirt water trudea nose, But I'd like to be
an elephant and squirt water through.
Speaker 3 (01:27):
My nose uncomped.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
All right, never mind, never mind the circuit. Oh I
get dead lay all right, never mind the.
Speaker 5 (01:33):
Fuck, never mind the circus.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
We have other things to do.
Speaker 4 (01:37):
Oh, yes, yes, but I can't forget about the circus, Sabbath.
I come from a family of circus people. My uncle
Rallo was the world's greatest tightrope.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Walker until he broke his neck.
Speaker 2 (01:45):
Well how did he break his neck?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
One mic? He was tight and the rope wasn't ship
neck crack, icy icy. I had uncle. He was six
feet tall.
Speaker 4 (01:58):
He used to stick his head in the lion's mouth.
Watch his name now we call him Shorty.
Speaker 5 (02:03):
All right, Gottella, I've heard enough. Let's change this stuff.
Speaker 4 (02:06):
Oh, if you're talking about the happiest days of my life?
What's fun I used to have in a side show?
I always used to tickle the tattooed lady.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
With a feather.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
You tickle the tattooed lady?
Speaker 6 (02:15):
What for?
Speaker 4 (02:16):
To see moving pictures?
Speaker 3 (02:20):
But she finally had to leave the circus of it.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
You mean the tattooed lady quit?
Speaker 4 (02:23):
No, she had her face lifted and to throw all
the pictures off focus.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
Got della, Now, don't try the kid me. I don't
believe you were ever near a circus.
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Oh yeah, well, here's a picture of me taking them
with a you bangy girl, let me see it.
Speaker 2 (02:34):
Wait a minute, I see the ubangy girl, but I
don't see you.
Speaker 4 (02:38):
I'm sitting in the shade of her lower lipt.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Love Gostell, Just what did you do with the circus?
Speaker 3 (02:44):
I used to train the wild zebra.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
You trained wild zebras.
Speaker 3 (02:47):
I don't make me laugh.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
You don't even know what a zebra is.
Speaker 4 (02:49):
Oh no, a hebra is a black horse with Venetian blinds.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
Well, hello, fellow, Oh it's Ken Nile.
Speaker 7 (02:57):
What's cooking?
Speaker 1 (02:57):
Boy?
Speaker 3 (02:58):
Nothing's cooking, Niles. You brought that a roman? Will you
na na out?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
I'll cut that out, say Ken. Costello is just telling
me that there's a circus in town. Did you see
the parade?
Speaker 7 (03:07):
Indeed I did, But I know all about that circus.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
In fact, my lovely wife helped bring the circus to Hollywood.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
What does she do pull one of the wagons.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Now, look here, Costello, you can't compare my wife to
a horse.
Speaker 3 (03:20):
You're right here. He is are too long? Costello?
Speaker 2 (03:24):
Will you be quiet? What did you mean? Ken about
your wife bringing the circus to town.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Well, but my wife is co chairman of the big
Hollywood benefit carnival and circuit. He's been up every night
preparing for this big carnival. That's why she has those
little crows feet under her eyes.
Speaker 3 (03:40):
Little crows feet.
Speaker 4 (03:42):
Brother of those crows must have been wearing baseball shoes.
Speaker 6 (03:46):
Oh I heard that remark, you overgrown hippopotamus.
Speaker 3 (03:49):
I sell it for you to hees. Yeah, Castello, what
are you wearing?
Speaker 7 (03:55):
Ow?
Speaker 6 (03:56):
Never mind, there's an there's an army man.
Speaker 3 (03:59):
Outside who wants to you a man. What does he want?
Speaker 6 (04:01):
He wants you to replace a tank or active duty?
Speaker 2 (04:05):
How do you see what you start at?
Speaker 3 (04:06):
Costello?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Always fighting? Nobody will like you.
Speaker 4 (04:10):
Oh, I don't worry about that. Rabbitt un the condor
drive it crows on people.
Speaker 3 (04:13):
The only trouble is Costello.
Speaker 6 (04:14):
A little too much of you grew on you.
Speaker 3 (04:21):
Oh you sure stole him that time. No, you excuse you,
don't you?
Speaker 7 (04:25):
Oh, darling, you're wonderful to me. You're the only woman
in the world.
Speaker 6 (04:29):
Oh, and Ketami love, you're the only man of the world.
Speaker 7 (04:32):
You're the only woman in the world, and you're.
Speaker 4 (04:34):
The only ladies and gentlemen. You have just been listening
to Adam and Eve.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Oh stop it, please, goddella.
Speaker 5 (04:49):
Missus Niles, Ken was just telling us that you're a
co chairman of the Hollywood Benefit COMMICCE.
Speaker 6 (04:54):
That's right, mister rabbit, And I'm asking all the movies
stars to donate their services.
Speaker 5 (04:59):
Well, I don't know exact well I can do, Missus Niles.
But Costello here was just telling me that.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
He used to be with the circus. Costello with a circuits.
Speaker 3 (05:10):
What cage was he in? What cage was I in?
Speaker 4 (05:16):
I was in there with a little I wasn't in anything.
I used to manage somebody. I used to manage the
great Ministrul.
Speaker 3 (05:26):
He was the greatest ice diver in the world. I
didn't know. I had to continue.
Speaker 4 (05:31):
He used to die five hundred feet from the top
of the tent into.
Speaker 3 (05:34):
A pail of water.
Speaker 6 (05:35):
Die five hundred feet into a pail of water.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Nobody can do that.
Speaker 4 (05:39):
He did it once.
Speaker 5 (05:43):
Never mind what he did, Love Costello, never mind what
he did.
Speaker 2 (05:47):
What can you do in this circus? For example, are
you an equestrian?
Speaker 3 (05:51):
I'm an American?
Speaker 6 (05:54):
No, No, Costello, Now, how would you like to ride
their back.
Speaker 3 (05:58):
What from all those people?
Speaker 5 (06:01):
Listen you dummy, Do you know anything about trick riding?
Speaker 3 (06:04):
Oh you mean you mean am I an Equestrianne? Well,
that's different a habit.
Speaker 4 (06:09):
I'm the first trick riding of a song. Well, one
time in the search a side rode two horses.
Speaker 3 (06:12):
Standing up, one foot on one horse and you have
a foot on the other horse.
Speaker 2 (06:16):
And what happened?
Speaker 3 (06:16):
Suddenly an elephant came between us.
Speaker 4 (06:18):
One horse went one way, you have a horse went,
you had away.
Speaker 5 (06:23):
I'll bet that was a laugh laugh I thought.
Speaker 8 (06:25):
I split shut up.
Speaker 1 (06:35):
Rattling the equator off the west coast of South America
on the Galapagos Islands, guarding the Pacific approaches to the
Panama Canal, to American stationed in the Galapagos Islands, to
the United States bases and our posts throughout the world.
Go camel cigarette, Buy the million, buy the ton.
Speaker 2 (06:51):
For camels are first with men in all.
Speaker 1 (06:54):
The services, according to actual sales records, and the camel
cigarettes that reached the Pacific Island as well as the
camels that reach you are fresh, cool smoking, and slow
burning because they're packed to go around the world, both.
Speaker 7 (07:09):
At home and overseas. More people want camels.
Speaker 1 (07:12):
Now, more people want the fresh cigarette, the cigarette with
more flavor. Son't remember if your store is sold out today.
Camel cigarettes are worth asking for again. See yes camel cigarettes.
Camel standard of cost meer tobaccos is the same for soldier,
for civilian.
Speaker 7 (07:31):
Anywhere in the world.
Speaker 1 (07:39):
Many rich on the orchestras are many requests for speak low.
Speaker 9 (09:15):
Hey, hey, step this way from the midmnement circle show.
Get your tickets rounds oh, every bustle, and right over
here we have Jojo the dog face boy. Hey, you
fat man, step over and see Jojo the dog Faced
boy friend.
Speaker 4 (09:32):
Hey, I wouldn't there for a ship dog face boy?
Speaker 2 (09:35):
Say, ain't Julu Costello?
Speaker 3 (09:36):
You can go him for nothing?
Speaker 2 (09:37):
I heard of see the wall freaks. Never mind him.
Speaker 5 (09:43):
Come on, Costello, We're expected at the manager's office.
Speaker 2 (09:46):
Missus Niles told.
Speaker 7 (09:47):
Her we'd be here.
Speaker 5 (09:48):
Wait a minute, Oh here it is. Pardon me, miss
we'd like to say Costello.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Look what is Sally Eilers?
Speaker 3 (10:02):
See hell Sally? My name's Lou Costello.
Speaker 10 (10:05):
No, don't bother about that can happen to anybody.
Speaker 2 (10:08):
You fellows are just in time. The show's about to.
Speaker 10 (10:10):
Go on in our lion tamer quit Costello?
Speaker 5 (10:14):
Do you know anything about Ryan so I know anything
about lions?
Speaker 4 (10:16):
Of course I know a lot of things about lions.
What time I went line hunt in Africa with my
brother and I brought back a stuff line?
Speaker 2 (10:22):
What was the lion stuffed with my brother?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
And another thing? Kid? You ain't getting me in a
cage with no lines.
Speaker 10 (10:31):
But you don't have to be afraid of this lion.
He was raised on milk, so was I.
Speaker 3 (10:35):
But I eat meat now when I can get it.
Speaker 10 (10:40):
Oh, but this line hasn't any teeth I know, but he.
Speaker 4 (10:43):
Could full meet the pieces like Costello.
Speaker 2 (10:46):
This circus is for charity. You mean you won't go
into that lion cage?
Speaker 7 (10:50):
No?
Speaker 3 (10:50):
Why should I.
Speaker 5 (10:51):
Risk you security and beauty?
Speaker 3 (10:54):
Perhaps lion taming is too dangerous.
Speaker 10 (10:56):
However, you can help with one of the confessions. Come
over here with me, now.
Speaker 6 (11:00):
Walk this way.
Speaker 4 (11:01):
I can't walk that way?
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Why not?
Speaker 4 (11:03):
You're wearing high yield?
Speaker 3 (11:07):
All right?
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Shut up, will you please? We'll find out what's going
on around him? Now what do you want us to do?
Over here? Sally?
Speaker 10 (11:14):
Well, Bud, you and I will stand out of the
counter and sell these baseballs.
Speaker 4 (11:17):
And Cattello. You stick your head through that hole in
the convas. And what am I going to see you
that hole?
Speaker 10 (11:22):
Well you might see some big tars.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
You mean, like Canjo Rodgers, a lot of chinate hole.
Speaker 10 (11:26):
No, no, no, more like a Jupiter in Mars.
Speaker 3 (11:29):
Watch studio, toutay work for.
Speaker 4 (11:32):
I know that heady Lamarge, but that Jupiter.
Speaker 3 (11:34):
No, I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:35):
I know, but don't don't be stupid.
Speaker 5 (11:37):
Go ahead, now, come on, be a nice little boy.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Stick your head through the canvas, bad boy. That's fine,
all right, folks, step right up. Three balls for lime.
Speaker 4 (11:46):
Hit the little boy on the head, step right, Hit
boy on the head?
Speaker 3 (11:52):
Spirit hit what boy on?
Speaker 6 (11:58):
What with?
Speaker 3 (12:00):
What ball?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
We're talking about you, Constello?
Speaker 10 (12:03):
Yes, the people throw these baseballs at your head. If
they hit you, they get a box of candy.
Speaker 4 (12:07):
I get a box box of aspis. First wort was funny.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
What you know what you do, lou when you see
the ball coming your dark?
Speaker 3 (12:15):
Yeah? But suppose I forget the tack.
Speaker 10 (12:17):
Oh, we've taken care of that.
Speaker 4 (12:18):
We finished you with a safety cap.
Speaker 10 (12:20):
If the ball hits you, it bounces.
Speaker 3 (12:22):
Off the cap.
Speaker 4 (12:23):
Yes, ma'am, But did you ever take into consideration what
makes the let a ball bounce off the let of
cap my hand?
Speaker 7 (12:32):
Why?
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Why don't be silly? You can't get hurt?
Speaker 4 (12:38):
Oh no, what happened to the guy who had this
job before I took it?
Speaker 3 (12:41):
Oh? He here he comes, now step aside.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Let the stretcher by stretcher.
Speaker 4 (12:45):
Stretcher, he haven't. I'm gonna ask this guy on a
stretcher question. Hey, buddy, do those baseballs hurt you? Has
your little head feel?
Speaker 3 (12:54):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (12:54):
My little head? Deal's fine? Oh good, in fact, ideal,
absolutely normal. Oh that's so nice. I'm so glad you
came to see me, Miss Lamar.
Speaker 3 (13:03):
Miss Lamar, that's all I want to know.
Speaker 5 (13:06):
Flare me now, don't be such a colored costello. Put
your head back in that hole and I'll throw a
few practice balls. Get ready now, I think comes the
first one.
Speaker 2 (13:20):
Costello.
Speaker 5 (13:20):
Get out, get up off your knees, and stop playing
with those marbles.
Speaker 3 (13:25):
Watch marbles. I'm picking up my teeth.
Speaker 4 (13:28):
Miss Tylers, would you mind scuffy back please? You are
standing on the tooth that I'll wait ahead.
Speaker 2 (13:33):
Of This is for charity.
Speaker 10 (13:36):
I'll go ahead, Bud throwing out the ball.
Speaker 3 (13:38):
It'll attack the crowd.
Speaker 2 (13:45):
Now it's the matter.
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Why aren't the sirens blowing?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
Why should the sirens blow?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
There's a fluck out?
Speaker 10 (13:52):
Oh Costello, did he really hit you?
Speaker 3 (13:55):
Did he hit me with a slip on my head
and hair? Cost me? Tuble hiati? It's this job, Sally,
get another four.
Speaker 5 (14:04):
You know that's a fine thing, the fine thing coming
from you, Costello.
Speaker 2 (14:09):
This is a benefit and for charity, and they.
Speaker 5 (14:12):
Need a hard headed man like you, and you want
to crawl out from under. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Speaker 2 (14:19):
I guess I'm a greet I'll say you are.
Speaker 3 (14:22):
You could make hundreds of people happy.
Speaker 10 (14:24):
Think of the fun they could have throwing baseballs at
your head.
Speaker 2 (14:27):
But no, you're selfish.
Speaker 10 (14:30):
You want to quit and spoil their pleasure.
Speaker 2 (14:32):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 4 (14:34):
I'm a regular kill joy.
Speaker 5 (14:36):
Yes, you are a killjoy. Think of the mothers and
fathers who.
Speaker 2 (14:41):
Bring their little kiddies. It's little keeny weeny kitties down
Hit'll laugh at you getting hit on the head. But
do you care about the kiddies?
Speaker 5 (14:49):
Do you care about the little keene weedy kiddies?
Speaker 2 (14:52):
No, no, not you.
Speaker 3 (14:55):
I'm always thinking of myself.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
Yeah, I'll say you are. Oh I love ba.
Speaker 4 (15:09):
Hey, Yeah, but please don't tell my stuff, Master Rummy,
Well I should, oh please don't. If you so, he
won't take me to see the Lebret tarpits.
Speaker 3 (15:18):
Sally, Sally, Oh it's missus now, Sally.
Speaker 6 (15:21):
My view, I just came to the main tent, the
wrestling matches about to start, and something terrible to happened.
Speaker 2 (15:26):
No matters.
Speaker 4 (15:26):
You forget the full o, the pip, you forget the
rights or something.
Speaker 6 (15:29):
What kind of hypnistance, nothing of the thought. We arranged
for a professional wrestler to take all comers, and he's
broken his arm. We must get a substitute immediately, someone
with Tamina's strength and courage.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
And that brand is Rucastello.
Speaker 3 (15:45):
Yes, that man is cut it out.
Speaker 4 (15:47):
I have a thanks gonna wrestle. My brother was a
rushfl and he's got a terrible califlower ear.
Speaker 3 (15:51):
Oh that's nothing.
Speaker 2 (15:52):
Lots of people have califlower.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Ears, yes, but his is cream.
Speaker 5 (15:58):
Wait a minute, I've got an idea Ruffalo. They'll announce
you wrestle anybody. Then I'll jump into the ring first
and we'll pretend to wrestle.
Speaker 2 (16:06):
That's all there is to it.
Speaker 3 (16:07):
I gotta fight he rightea repend? Why can't I wrestle
saw the Islands, hope, But.
Speaker 4 (16:11):
Lou, that's silly boy.
Speaker 3 (16:12):
Don't wrestle with girls.
Speaker 2 (16:14):
Oh she's so young.
Speaker 7 (16:16):
And here's Tonny Hayes. Thanks brand New Shaw for the
first time on the air. Listen to Saltwater Cowboy.
Speaker 11 (16:29):
With that great, big, wonderful man. Where is that fan
coord of cane. He's all water cowboy with the bowl
for his range, just the doll water cowboy and the
(16:53):
hurdy rattle range. He's the random of his country.
Speaker 7 (16:58):
Boever they may be.
Speaker 11 (17:02):
He's all water cowboy.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
U ninety s.
Speaker 1 (17:09):
Get long, little nippy, I.
Speaker 11 (17:13):
Can hear my dringer caw. I'm taking you to pasture
in a bar while, Laura, he's a sollub earthboy and
he's long and licking. Len He's a doll water cowboy
(17:33):
and united, said Marie.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
Get man.
Speaker 7 (17:40):
Yankee sag from the way.
Speaker 11 (17:45):
I'm gonna rend your talking with a thaw trag you.
Speaker 7 (17:52):
Or you don't have to ry. He will keep your
past green.
Speaker 2 (17:59):
Little god, what a camel.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
As a funnel said after a bet on bing Crosby's horses.
Speaker 7 (18:21):
They're guider run all night.
Speaker 1 (18:24):
All day too, and with flat feet. Yes, that's plenty
flat all right, and it can be worse than your cigarette.
If wartime flatness is spoiling your smoking, get camels. If
you're looking for a cigarette that won't go flat no
matter how many you smoke, get camels for more flavor.
(18:45):
You see, camel cigarettes are matchlessly blended of cost dear.
Speaker 7 (18:49):
Tobaccos blended to give them more flavor.
Speaker 1 (18:51):
And more flavor helps cammels hold up keep from going
flat no matter.
Speaker 7 (18:56):
How many you smoke.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
Give camel cigarettes the t zone tests. Your taste will
prove to you that camels do have more flavor, and
your throat will give you the last word on camel's smooth,
extra mildness. And remember, camel cigarettes stay fresh, cool smoking,
and slow burning.
Speaker 7 (19:14):
Because they're packed. They go around the world.
Speaker 2 (19:17):
See a yeah, yes.
Speaker 7 (19:20):
Camel cigarettes. They're first in the service.
Speaker 1 (19:22):
They've got what it takes, all right, Costello, the ten
is filling up.
Speaker 2 (19:32):
Are you all rest for the wrestling match with me? Yes?
Speaker 3 (19:34):
I'm already at it.
Speaker 4 (19:35):
Coli, I look at these wrestling trunks.
Speaker 5 (19:36):
Wait a minute, what kind of trunks of those? What's
that riding across the seat?
Speaker 2 (19:40):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (19:41):
That lights up, Abbott, and what does it say? Come
to joes for dinner.
Speaker 3 (19:44):
What a spread?
Speaker 2 (19:47):
All right? All right, let's get out there. The crowd's waiting.
Speaker 3 (19:51):
Hey, look it.
Speaker 4 (19:52):
Remember one thing. When they call for volunteers to wrestle,
me be sure you're the first one to get in
the ring. There's some pretty tough guys out there. I
don't want to rush anyone of them swing shift workers.
Why not, because when they swing I might not shift.
Speaker 2 (20:08):
You wait here in the locker room, Costelle. I'll see
if they're ready.
Speaker 10 (20:11):
Well, but but, Abbott, I've got some wonderful news for you.
We've got a great opponent for Castello to wrestle. I
want you to meet Alan Hale.
Speaker 12 (20:24):
Whoa hello, Bud. Where's that little meatball partner of yours?
I want to bounce him around a little.
Speaker 5 (20:32):
But wait a minute, Alan Costell expects to wrestle me.
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Oh no, he's my pigeon.
Speaker 3 (20:38):
I'm collecting waste.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
That gee, Allen. I don't think Costell is in good shape.
Speaker 7 (20:43):
Oh don't worry.
Speaker 2 (20:44):
I'll straighten him out.
Speaker 12 (20:46):
I think i'll go in and take a look at
the body.
Speaker 7 (20:48):
But don't let on that I'm wrestling him.
Speaker 12 (20:50):
I want it to come as a pleasant surprise.
Speaker 10 (20:54):
Oh, loom A friend of yours wants to say hello
to you.
Speaker 7 (20:56):
Alan Hale.
Speaker 3 (20:57):
Oh hello, alim old boy? Did you come over here
and watch me wrestle? Watch you?
Speaker 7 (21:02):
Why, Costello?
Speaker 12 (21:03):
I want you to feel that I'll be in there
with you every minute. And tell me, Castello, have you
ever had.
Speaker 3 (21:08):
Any wrestling experience? Oh?
Speaker 4 (21:10):
Sure, one time I wrestled a champion of an African
Try you banky?
Speaker 3 (21:14):
Yeah? And he bank me right back? He afcutored at me.
Speaker 2 (21:19):
Boy.
Speaker 3 (21:20):
Now we can't stay in the locker room.
Speaker 4 (21:21):
The crowd's waiting, Okay, Sally, and don't worry, Abbit.
Speaker 3 (21:24):
I won't hurt you one bit.
Speaker 2 (21:26):
That's right, Abbit. He won't play a hand on you.
Speaker 3 (21:36):
I don't know what I'm.
Speaker 4 (21:37):
Laughing at, but after all, he is our guest.
Speaker 5 (21:41):
Let's go Costello into the ring.
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Wadlan? Is this OUs o canvas back? Castello?
Speaker 7 (22:01):
The other?
Speaker 9 (22:02):
Uh?
Speaker 2 (22:02):
Uh?
Speaker 4 (22:02):
The tallenger at four hundred and ninety three pounds four
one hundred ninety three pounds, Hey have it. Let's trying
to make you look good, Abbot the Warner rubber Storm
of the Adventures of mort Queen, Mister Allam.
Speaker 10 (22:18):
Hell, Helen Hale, How and hal habit?
Speaker 3 (22:22):
What did you change your name?
Speaker 4 (22:23):
Why did you stop working for water from study Ulifostal?
Speaker 3 (22:26):
What are you making the pictures? You have fetures of
Mark Queen. What's a minute if we can get it?
Why is that framing me?
Speaker 4 (22:33):
Hey, I'm supposed to wrestle you, habbit or somebody I
don't know who.
Speaker 3 (22:39):
You're supposed to wrestleabitth no match for you. He's certainly
no match for you. Come on now, CAUs Tello.
Speaker 12 (22:44):
I'm gonna slam you on that canvas, step on your
gizzet and hit you on the head so hard you'll
be wearing your socks for a turtle neck sweater.
Speaker 4 (22:51):
Oh yeah, yeah, Fredamore, I seek you can do it.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
Come come, boys, let's get home with this wrestling match.
Speaker 4 (22:59):
I'm the referre, and as the referee, there's one thing.
Speaker 3 (23:01):
I insist on a clean fight.
Speaker 5 (23:03):
I want a clean fight, and I want a clean fight.
Speaker 4 (23:06):
And why don't you two guys fights?
Speaker 5 (23:08):
I get kind of thirty buy at Costello, pay attention
to the referee.
Speaker 3 (23:12):
There's another thing.
Speaker 7 (23:13):
As the referee, I am not interested in neither one
of you.
Speaker 3 (23:15):
I am playing no favorites, no faymites.
Speaker 5 (23:17):
Do you understand that cross down. O, yes, sir, and
do you understand thats the hell?
Speaker 12 (23:21):
Yeah, Charlie, and tell your sister. I'll be over at
nine o'clock.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Wait a minute, Okale for some the referee, sister.
Speaker 2 (23:27):
I'm your nod.
Speaker 5 (23:28):
Ahead back there, Costell.
Speaker 2 (23:30):
Now remember at the bell, shake hands.
Speaker 4 (23:32):
I don't have to shake hands minus shaking already here.
Speaker 12 (23:35):
Sport Costella, stick out your hand.
Speaker 4 (23:37):
Okay, my hands.
Speaker 3 (23:40):
Allen, Allen my hand?
Speaker 4 (23:43):
Well, I can always use it for a fly swatter.
Speaker 3 (23:46):
All right, boy? Does the bell?
Speaker 5 (23:47):
Stop to wrestle? Remember one fall takes hall Castello, get
in there and put up a great fight.
Speaker 3 (23:53):
Stop the mat, not the match. We are stid it yet,
I know, but I'm winning.
Speaker 12 (23:58):
Let's go, costelloup the floor with you.
Speaker 3 (24:01):
Oh yeah, let me tell you something.
Speaker 4 (24:02):
You show me a tough guy, and I'll show you
a coward.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Wow, I'm a tough guy.
Speaker 3 (24:07):
Oh I'm a coward.
Speaker 7 (24:10):
Get ready now, Costello.
Speaker 12 (24:12):
Here's a toe hole, here's a leg hoole, here's a headlock.
Speaker 3 (24:17):
Here's a hammer lock.
Speaker 7 (24:18):
Here's your arm.
Speaker 5 (24:19):
Thanks, come on, Costello, you're putting up a terrific fight.
Speaker 6 (24:30):
Oh my nose, my nose, hell, you're flatting my hind nose.
Speaker 3 (24:35):
How will I smell? Shall I tell him?
Speaker 2 (24:39):
Keep going, Costello, keep going? Get in there.
Speaker 3 (24:41):
Yeah, I think I shot him. Worried he's afraid, Well,
what do you mean he's afraid? He's afraid he's gonna
kill me.
Speaker 5 (24:47):
Get I'm gonna give you a body slam. Wait a minute, hey, hey, hello,
please stay down there, don't keep jumping up.
Speaker 3 (25:00):
Who's jumping up? I'm bossing. Yes, it's flowing the towel
flowing a towel.
Speaker 5 (25:06):
Right now, right now.
Speaker 3 (25:07):
I don't think I'll be around this way again.
Speaker 12 (25:10):
Don't worry, cuss, tell us and now I got a
little something to to settle this whole match.
Speaker 3 (25:14):
See if you like this hair, plain fizz. You ain't
gonna pilot snass hails.
Speaker 8 (25:19):
Put me down.
Speaker 3 (25:20):
Here you go way way up in the air.
Speaker 9 (25:23):
Wait a second, put me down, mail, put me.
Speaker 1 (25:26):
Down, it's wrong, And round and round you go, and
will I turn out?
Speaker 8 (25:32):
No wing, No.
Speaker 3 (25:39):
Cassello, cassello, Castello.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Get up.
Speaker 5 (25:43):
The crowd's waiting for you to get back into the ring.
Speaker 2 (25:45):
Get out from une of those seats.
Speaker 3 (25:47):
Have But I'm not going into that ring.
Speaker 2 (25:49):
You're not. You're talking like a call it where's your backbone?
Speaker 7 (25:53):
Yeah, cuss Tello, where's your backbone?
Speaker 3 (25:55):
I don't know where it is, and I'm not going
back into till I Cashano will be.
Speaker 7 (26:07):
Back in just a month.
Speaker 8 (26:12):
Thanks to the Angs of the Week, Tonight, we salute
Lieutenant Colonel William Laverette of Lightsland, South Carolina, who has
been awarded the Distinguished Service Cross for extraordinary heroism. Leading
a flight of only seven American fighters over the Aegean Sea.
He cited thirty German planes about the bomb and a
light convoy. He attacked immediately, and, knowing that his ammunition
(26:33):
was limited, waited until he was dangerously close to each
German plane before firing. Colonel Laverette personally destroyed seven enemy
planes and damaged to others, while the other six pilots
destroyed ten more without a single loss. In honor of
you and your men, Colonel William Laverette, the makers of
Camels are sending to our soldiers overseas three hundred thousand
(26:55):
camel cigarettes.
Speaker 1 (27:03):
Each of the four Camel radio shows honors the Yank
of the Week send three hundred thousand camel cigarettes overseas
a total of more than a million Campbell sent free
each week in this country, the Traveling Camel Caravan to
thank audiences of more than three and a half million
Yanks with pre shows and pre Campbell's Camel broadcasts go
out to the United States four times a week a
(27:23):
short wave to our men overseas and to South America.
Speaker 7 (27:26):
Listen tomorrow to Gary Moore.
Speaker 1 (27:27):
And Jimmy Duranty, Saturday to Bob Hawk in Thanks to
the Yanks, Monday to Blondie, and next Thursday to Abbott
and Costello with their guests, Miss Linda Darnell.
Speaker 7 (27:37):
And now here's Abbott with the final word.
Speaker 5 (27:39):
Thanks Jim Well, Costello, you certainly made a fool of
yourself tonight. I want you to be very careful next
week with Linda Darnell. Why Abbitt, Well, you know Linda
used to be in the circus business and mind reading
acts in quadable.
Speaker 2 (27:52):
She can read your mind, she can't read my mind.
Speaker 5 (27:54):
Brother he ho Hello, oh hello, Linda Abbott, It is
Linda Darnell.
Speaker 3 (28:00):
How Linda? What are you now?
Speaker 2 (28:03):
Oh? Well Costello? Did Linda read your mind?
Speaker 7 (28:07):
She must have.
Speaker 2 (28:08):
It's the first time I ever got slapped over the phone.
Good night, Baul, Good night neighbors.
Speaker 3 (28:16):
We couldna do that next week?
Speaker 2 (28:17):
Do not have a great abde costolo show, which many.
Speaker 3 (28:20):
Rigs off to try an special guests.
Speaker 1 (28:21):
Let's Linda Darnell and you're in that murd Get Camlons
for a bar player. If you're looking for a figurette
that won't go flap no matter how many you smoke,
get Camlons for a bar player.
Speaker 7 (28:31):
This is Ken Niles wishing a.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Very pleasant good night from Hollywood.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
More pipes smoke Prince Albert than any other tobacco in
the whole world.
Speaker 2 (28:42):
Here's one reason why.
Speaker 1 (28:44):
Prince Albert's no bite treated to keep your pipe from
biting your tongue. Yes, sir, Because Prince Albert's no bite
treated to give you cool tongue, happy smoking comfort. VA's
crimp cut two to pack and burn and draw just right.
The big red two out package of Prince Albert holds
around fifty rich tasting, swell smoking pipe pulls, and believe me,
each one is mighty convincing proof that PA stands for
(29:06):
pipe afield. More pipe smoke, Prince Albert. It's the national
joy smoke.
Speaker 2 (29:11):
This is the National Broadcasting Company
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